List of oneshots part 4
chapter 66
A city gets swamped by monsters during mating season.
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We find ourselves in a normal city. Yes, the normal boring kind where nothing major happens.
"Hey Drake! I was wondering if you could give me your blessing? We are gonna be in-laws after all." Said some guy.
"Vince! How many times must I tell you to stop with the drugs, it's making you say weird shit." Said an old man. "Also my daughter is already married to some dude that's a-lot better than you."
"Come ooooon, I'd be a great in-law."
"Vince, you need to stop, my daughter has a rich husband, 1 kid, and lots of friends. She has no time for a loser like you."
"I bet my dick is bigger than her husband's!"
"She told me he's almost one foot long, can you beat that?"
"No..." He said looking down.
"Yah see? Now leave me the fuck alone."
"Yeah well...you're dumb!" he spoke before running off crying.
"Okay, that's one annoyance out of my hair, now for the other one..."
"Drake!" Said a man dressed in rainbow colored knight armor.
"Speak of the devil..." he muttered. "What do you want?"
"I wish to marry your niece!"
"And what makes you think I'll let my niece anywhere near a freak like you?"
"Because unlike you, I'm an important character with a physical description and everything." Then the man took off the armor, revealing red pompadour hair, blue eyes, light skin, a red and yellow tie dye shirt, blue pants and yellow shoes. "Therefore I automatically stand out and will play a more important role in life than the rest of these nobodies."
"You keep saying that and I keep telling you that you're delusional!"
Meanwhile in the outskirts of the city, a dark storm was heading their direction. Dark clouds were nearly upon it, and with it, various figures of varying sign and shape.
"I-I-I need a man~" drooled one of the figures.
"I need one to fulfill my breeding fetish!"
"If I don't leave here with a bun in the oven, I'll go on a massacre!"
Now back to the two guys arguing.
"And another reason to marry your niece..."
"Hold on Gomez, look up into the sky..." Drake told him.
"Strange, there was no rain scheduled for today. I'm sure it'll pass over..."
Both watched the cloud, everyone else across town seeing it too while getting a chill up their spines.
"Anyways, even with your stupid rainbow armor, Gomez. You're delusional thinking my niece would want you. I mean seriously, what low standard woman would want a moron like you!?
"Hey, I'm a low standard woman, I'll take him off your hands."
"Thank you-" Then Drake and Gomez turned around. "-miss..."
"Cathy." replied what looked like a gray colored pangolin, a humanoid one that had noticeable joints and shiny skin instead of fur. She was wearing an old timey tweed jacket, a tweed beret and magnifying glass sticking out from one of the pockets. Also she had noticeable E-cup breasts. "Don't worry, I'll take this cute man off your hands..."
"Drake, don't let her take me, I've seen her kind in video games, she'll stuff me inside her torso!"
"I wouldn't do that, although I will stuff your dick into my robo pussy."
"I'm sorry Gomez, you may as well put that armor back on and start running."
The man paled and ran while putting it on, nearly tripping before the animatronic chased after him.
"Yaaaaay! Come back here!"
"Why are you chasing after me!?"
"Because it's monster heat season!"
"Monster heat-" Then Gomez heard men screaming!
"Aaaah! Help me!" Shouted a man being carried off!
"No! Let me go! It's not you that I'm scared of, it's commitment!" Shouted a man getting dragged away!
"Stop, don't take my first kiss, I'm reserving it for this girl I like!" Shouted a teen boy!
"Begone demons! Repent! Repent!" cried a random priest holding a cross out.
"But sir, I'm a Shisa, I protect people in China and Japan. I'm not evil."
"So many monsters so fast..."
"Yep, we all came with the storm that's currently raining down on your city!"
"Rain? Won't you get rusty and or short out?"
"My creator built me with waterproof coating!"
"Shit!"
"Now come here and stuff my robo pussy!"
That's when Gomez took a turn but it was a wrong turn as he found himself in a dead end. "Curses!"
"Oh Gomez~"
"Y...yes...?"
"Do you like burgers?" Cathy said as she slowly crept up on him while he had his back to the wall.
"Uh...yeah, do you perform at a burger place?"
"Yep, and I can get you an unlimited supply of burgers, you just gotta kiss me."
"Uh...h-how about a friendly handshake?"
"Nope." She tore off his knight helmet and they started making out.
Meanwhile in another part of town, a businessman had just finished work for the day, unaware of the Monster Girls spreading to that part of town!
"Oh you gotta be kidding me!" He shouted as a speeding car splashed water all over his suit! "First that weatherman gets the weather wrong and then I see my friend Luther get fired and now this!"
"Suck it old man!" called a teen douchebag throwing a paint balloon at his suit.
"Goddammit!" He shouted before walking to a bench and just sitting there angrily, not seeing that the teen was wrapped in tentacles and never to be seen again! The business man had blue combed hair, a darker tone of tan skin, a grayish suit with a yellow tie, brown work shoes and brown eyes.
"You seem upset Mister." Said a voice.
"I was hoping the rough day would end after work, it just keeps going."
"Well, wanna talk about it with a beautiful woman?"
"If you're willing to list-" That's when the human woman took a spear to the shoulder!
"AAAAAAAH" She screeched!
"Back off you damn Kumiho!" Shouted another woman's voice!
Then the woman turned into a woman with fox ears and tail!
The businessman turned to see an anthropomorphic dog woman with a blue dress and blue pants, C cup chest and she only had one arm.
"Go on get! Or you'll get another one through the head!"
"You damn samjokgu, always spoiling a kumiho's fun!" Then she ran away!
The man put his hands on his face.
"Huh? What's wrong sir?"
"Today's been awful."
"Aw don't worry, I warded off the man eater, now how's about we talk?"
"...you know what? Fuck it. Might as well."
And so they started walking and talking.
"So I'm Mel no last name given, what about you?"
"I'm Min Jung, no last name given either."
"Hello Min Jung, I thought I'd have a normal boring day but it was awful. Starting off at work, I saw the rain start and I didn't have an umbrella."
"Oh, sorry, that was the monster girls, such as I, all coming to raid this city of it's single men."
"Wait, raid?"
"Yeah, it's monster girl heat season, the time for single monster girls to choose a random town and find men as our husbands."
"Couldn't you just find a monster guy?"
"They've been in short supply recently." she remarked. "Plus trying to find one who hasn't been taken yet is really rare."
"Oh, sorry to hear that miss."
"So what else happened today?"
"A good friend got fired from work even though there was evidence of his innocence."
"What? That's awful."
"I know, and the worst part about him getting fired is that he's leaving this city."
"But why?"
"He's been trying to hold down a job, and this job was his last chance, so now he's gonna move on to the next city to hold down a job there...so now I'm gonna be all alone."
"You won't be all alone, I've selected you as my husband."
"...you know trying to cheer me up with that joke isn't gonna help."
"What do you mean by joke? Look around, all these men are getting taken by monster girls!"
"Ah! Help, a cat centaur thing is chasing me!"
"I'm a Chakat!" Replied the Chakat.
"Help me! I can't run because of my broken leg!"
"Oh, lemme help you." Said a Witch.
"No! I wanted to ask this girl named Juanita to the high school prom!" Said some young adult who was held back twice.
"Ooh a prom! I'll dance with you and then make you my husband!"
"Oh, so you're serious..." Mel has now realized.
"Yep." Said Min Jung, she then licked his cheek. "Deadly serious~"
"Well, it's a good thing my apartment building allows dogs and I have a feeling I won't potty train you."
"And I'm a tough doggie, who'll keep burglars out."
"And there's that too."
And so Mel led her back to his home.
Meanwhile in another part of town...
"I think I saw another man in this direction!" Said a dragon.
"Or maybe there's a man in this minivan?" Said a sasquatch, pointing at the minivan with all the covered windows.
"Nah, I'm looking through the windshield and I see nobody." Said an anthropomorphic deer doe.
"Maybe your eyes are bad."
"No really, look."
They also peered in and saw nothing.
"You're right, let's go." Then they left to hunt down more fleeing men.
'Heheheh...suckers...' Thought the guy hiding behind the 3rd row of seats under a thick blanket.
Meanwhile in another part of town...
"Okay, might be a bad idea trying to hide in a condemned building, but oh well, I'm sure they wouldn't look for a man in here." Said a guy with light skin, a green and orange mohawk. He had a black hoodie and gray pajama pants. "I mean why go looking for nothing when you can find any easy target off the streets."
"You'd think that, but a place like this is perfect for me, I can chase you down with my fire!"
"F...fire?" He slowly turned around and the window he used to sneak in was now being blocked by a harpy with red hair, orange and yellow feathers, a purple shirt to show off her D-cup chest and black shorts.
"Hello there, now come here cutie!" She then charged him!
"Ah! No!" He then saw a rusty metal pipe and in one swift motion! He grabbed it and stabbed her with it!
"Urgh..." she then fell down and died...
"Phew..." But that's when her body caught fire and she revived from her ashes!" "What the fuck?"
"Nice try, I am a hybrid of a harpy and a phoenix." she smirked smugly making him pale before he knocked her upside the head and quickly stabbed her several more times. She then got back up, alive and well. "Nice try! So, what's your name cutie?"
"Ren Morris, you?" He said while getting ready to strike her again.
"Flammie, and when I claim you, I'll be Flammie Morris."
"Listen, I'm flattered, but when me and my band become famous, I'll have a whole harem."
"Oooh, you have a band? Then I'll be your first groupie!" She then got on top of him. "And I'll be your only groupie since I have chosen you as my mate."
'Oh crap' He dug the metal pipe deep into her chest and her ash got all over him! "I gotta get outta here!"
Ren tried jumping for the window but then Flammie returned to life, riding on his back, the sudden extra weight made him miss the window!
"Ha! You're not getting rid of me that easy. So lunch should be in a few minutes, wanna help me make some eggs?"
"Fine, not like I can escape."
"Good boy." Then he was dragged to some dusty and dirty bed.
"Ugh, can we do this at my place?"
"Don't worry, I'll set any rats, roaches, mites and spiders on fire."
Meanwhile on another part of-oh shit duck!
*Fsssssssh!*
That was close, okay so a kaiju was rampaging through the city now and I barely dodged that laser beam!
"Fireman! Fire!" Shouted a cop!
"Ah! Help me chief!" Shouted a cop who was being dragged away by a wraith!
"Take one for the team, I knew you were a crooked cop but I had no evidence!"
"Fuck you asshole! I ate all your donuts!"
The police chief rolled his eyes. He had the standard blue uniform, brown hair, dark skin, green eyes and he was short, compared to the other cops.
"GIMME A HUSBAAAAAND!" Shouted the kaiju! An orange and purple scaled theropod, many times larger than an average spinosaurus, her chest was a G-cup...well, whatever was considered a G-cup for monsters her size.
"Men! Take her down!"
They continued shooting her, but then the Kaiju retaliated with another laser! Destroying cars, almost hitting a news reporter and oh shit here it comes again! Phew, I avoided that once again.
"Bring in the big guns!"
That's when a circus cannon appeared.
"What the fuck is this?"
"A cannon on loan from the circus." Explained a cop. "You've always wanted to be a kaiju slayer when you were a kid, right sir?"
"Yes, but I was a kid, and I didn't know monsters were re-hey! Get your hands off me!"
They stuffed a helmet onto his head and stuffed his kicking and screaming body into the cannon.
"What is the meaning of this?"
"We just wanted ice cream yesterday, but you said noooo!" The cops all complained. "That's why you'll take one for the team and be shot out of the cannon."
"I said no ice cream yesterday because a criminal in our holding cells who can escape if he got his hands on anything dairy!"
His explanation fell on deaf ears and they shot him at the kaiju! *BOOM!*
"I'm getting all of your badges!" He flew right into her chest! This led to him bouncing when he wound up stuck between the two orbs.
"Hmm?"
"Uh...hello miss..."
"Are you in a relationship?"
"With a woman, no. With my job, happily married."
"Me Dawn, you?"
"Police Chief Khan Murdock."
She leaned down and sniffed him. "You do. You new mate."
"Uh, no thanks ma'am."
"Let's go to that huge tower over there and reenact King Kong."
"But didn't King Kong get gunned down?"
"Me don't plan on dying."
"I don't think that's something you can just plan!" he yelled up as she started walking to the huge building.
"Congrats on the new wife chief!" Cheered one cop.
"I'm jealous chief, her chest is bigger than my wife's." Said another.
"I hope all you single traitors get scooped up by absolutely hideous monster girls!" he called out. "And all they do is ride you ragged until your balls fall off!"
Meanwhile we see a man running through the sewers and for some reason he was laying the smackdown on the Yakuza who were also down there.
"Take that squinty eyed punk!" The man who was fighting them was a blonde haired guy with sunburn skin, he had blue eyes, a white tank top, blue jeans and black sneakers, and a gold heart locket around his neck. The Yakuza were shooting at him, but he had some swift and agile dodges!
"Get him! He's been a thorn in our side ever since he sent the boss' right hand man to the slammer!"
"I'll rip his face right off!"
Try as they might, the guy cut through the crowd and was now running!
"After him!" Shouted one, but that's when a fast white and pink blur started knocking the rest out!
"What the?!" Said the guy.
"Hello, you looked pretty cool fighting off organized crime guys." Said an anthropomorphic white pet rat, she had a pink nose, red eyes, a long pink tail, her fur covered her D-cup chest, and a golden heart locket.
'Oh crap, a monster girl and she's fast!' he thought going pale. "Hey look! Giant cat!"
"Nice try, my best friend is a giant cat and she's busy chasing someone else mister..."
"Rodney Paulsen."
"I'm Dusty, and what a coincidence, my owner, a little boy, was also named Rodney Paulsen before that rainstorm separated us."
"Well if you got a owner sure sounds like you better go off and find him, see ya!"
Then as they chased each other...
"I miss my kid, you know what happened after that rainstorm?"
"Uh...what?"
"Well, after the storm washed me far far away from my hometown, I found a witch brew and I ended up turning into this."
"Oh, so you were just a normal rat before."
"Of course. What, you thought I was like this when I was with my kid?"
"Sorry, I don't know much about monsters, and furries!"
"Well anyways, my kid loved acting tough, saying he would one day wipe out crime with his black sneakers."
'Uh...I have black sneakers.'
That's when a flashback happened in his head...
"Come on Miss Whiskers, take the cheese!" We see a young Rodney playing with a rat.
"Hey punk!" Shouted some kids.
Rodney looked out the window and some bullies were outside. "Leave us alone or we'll attack your friends."
"Excuse Miss Whiskers, but these boys want a date with my black sneakers."
*Flashback over.*
'Did I used to have a white rat as a child?' he wondered. "Uh...Miss Whiskers?"
"Ooh, how did you know the name that my owner gave me?"
"Holy shit...you ARE my old pet rat!"
"Impossible, I'm sure you and my Rodney are coincidentally named. Besides, if you really are my kid, then you'd have this picture in a locket." Then she showed him a picture in her locket that had kid Rodney kissing a rat on the cheek.
"Uh...I dunno how to tell you this but..." Then Rodney opened his locket showing the same picture.
"Rodney..." her jaw dropped open as he rubbed the back of his head.
"Well...this is...awk-WAH!" Dusty scooped him up!
"Rodney! I missed you!" Then tears burst from her eyes like twin fountains! "I thought I'd never see you again!"
"Wow...to think that this would be how we reunited...I'd be more than happy if I was your mate."
"Really Rodney?"
"Well, I mean it kinda makes sense when you think about it. How we met, got separated, and now meeting back up again. And now you can help me beat up all the criminals in this city."
"Oh, absolutely!"
And so this brand new crime fighting couple shared a kiss.
After a long while the screaming of men all died down and now there were lots of new couples happily in their new home. But the rain hadn't stopped yet, let's see how that guy in his minivan is doing.
"I'm safe, I gotta be safe, nobody can find me in here..." He climbed out of the back row of his van and pulled off the blankets. "Okay, all the monster girls are gone. Which means I should be safe and sound."
He got ready to drive, but then...
"Hello mister."
"Huh?" He turned and saw a little girl outside his window. "Ah!" he fell back in his seat. "W-W-Who are you?"
"I'm Alandra, I'm the last monster girl by the looks of things." She had pale skin, brown hair, freckles on her cheeks, a brown dress and black shoes. She looked like a normal kid...all except for...
"What is up with your eyes?" He pointed out.
She had 2 black orbs for her eyes.
"I'm a black eyed kid, we approach adults who are just about to drive home or go to bed."
"Uh...should I be scared? I can just punch you." He said, grabbing the handle.
"You could, but our thing is trying to convince you guys into opening the door."
He quickly let go of the handle after hearing that. "Well forget that! I'm not letting you in here!"
"Let me in..." She said.
The guy's hand trembled. "What the?"
"You're feeling like letting me in but your sense of dread is still resisting, right Mr..."
"I'm Joe, and I promise you I do have a gun in my glove box!"
"Oooh, gun, can I see?"
'Dammit, why did a loli, the girls I wanna fuck have to be here?' he gulped. "I-I'm not letting you in!"
"Lemme in..."
"No, no!" He said, grabbing the gun! "I'll shoot you! I'll do it!"
"Really? Well what if I rubbed my boobies against the glass?"
"You don't have boobs." he gulped before she reached up to her dress and undid the top, revealing her bare chest before she started rubbing it against the window.
"You like this?"
"No, and like I said, there ain't anything down there, hah!" He said, unaware that his hand was now on the door handle, getting ready to open the door.
"Aw, come on, you don't want to touch them?"
"I don't..." He said. "Okay, maybe a little."
"Yay!"
'Ok, if I reach out and quickly touch them, I can pull away and slam the door before she gets in!' Joe swiftly opened the door, grabbed her chest and tried to close the door but he couldn't for some reason.
"I win."
"Crap, so do I die here?"
"Nope, it's monster girl heat season, so now that you've opened the door, let's shake this van."
Joe struggled to keep the door closed. 'But then again, what if someone saw us right now? The timing of it would kill me.'
"Too late~" she sang before moving into the van, making him back up and break out in a sweat.
"I-I warned you!" he reached for the gun, only to find her latching onto his chest.
"Do you really wanna shoot that or do you wanna help a monster girl out with her estrus?"
"I...I...I..."
"Put the gun down and let's shake this minivan."
"...oh fuck it!" He closed the door and they started doing it.
And so puts an end to this man-hunt, at least until whomever the ruler of all monsters finds another town that's completely unaware of the existence of monster girls.