CHAPTER 15

*****JACOB POV*****

WHEN WE REACHED Bella's room, I let Sam and Emily go in first with Charlie to keep with the Doc's orders of no more than three visitors at once. Just standing outside the door was enough to calm the pull towards Bella almost completely. Emily's gentle voice reached me as she talked softly to Bella and a small smile tugged at my lips. The first one I'd had since yesterday.

They didn't stay long, and Emily promised to come back in the morning with food and a few changes of clothes for me. It was obvious at this point that I wasn't going anywhere while Bella was in the hospital. Sam understood my need to stay with her and assured me they would handle everything without me until Bella was recovered, however long that may be. With everything going on between me and Bella, I got the feeling he had begun to consider her my imprint, and nothing took priority over the needs of the person you imprinted on.

I thanked them both for everything and then headed into the room.

The small private room was dark except for a lamp on the table next to Bella's bed, which was centered against the wall on the right side of the room. There was another table and a reclining chair against the far wall across from the door, situated between two sets of windows with the blinds.

Charlie was perched on a chair next to Bella's bed holding her hand. His features were drawn and there were faint shadows under his eyes. He appeared to have aged quite a few years today and I felt a twinge of guilt for how much worry he'd been put through today.

I stood next to the foot of her bed, so relieved to finally get to see her again. I rested my hand on her leg and at last felt content and calm. I breathed deeply, taking in her altered scent, along with the harsh smell of antiseptic and hospital cleaners, and gazed down at her. Her head was bandaged, and she had dark circles under both eyes. There was a nasty bruise around her left eye and across her left cheek. Her left arm was now splinted and wrapped up tight, immobilized against her chest. It had been both broken and dislocated. She would get a cast once the swelling went down, according to the doc.

"How are you holding up?" I asked Charlie.

He glanced up at me, like he was just noticing me standing there, then sighed.

"I've been better. I probably won't rest easy until she wakes up. I can't believe we are here again, almost exactly one year after the incident in Phoenix. Doesn't matter how many times I go through this with her… whether it's a big or small injury, it never gets easier."

"I'm sorry, Charlie."

He looked at me once more and held my gaze. "What are you apologizing for? You weren't the one driving that car."

I shrugged and had to look away from him. I may not have caused her injuries, but I should have been there to protect her and keep her from getting hurt in the first place. I should have been able to take down this bloodsucker already. I should have been the one she fell in love with from the beginning and kept her from ever getting involved with the Cullens and their world. I couldn't say any of that to Charlie though.

"I just feel bad, that's all. As much as this is killing me, I can't imagine what you're feeling."

"Well, it's no secret Bella is a magnet for injuries. I always hoped she'd grow out of it, but it seems to have gotten worse. How about you? You look beat Jake."

It was my turn to let out a deep sigh and I imagined my face probably mirrored Charlie's. "I feel beat, but I'm much better now I can be with her again… see her. It's been a rough evening."

Charlie nodded and was silent once more.

The weight of the last twenty-four hours suddenly slammed down on my shoulders… and my heart. Not only was Bella lying in this hospital bed, unconscious and severely injured, but I didn't even know where we stood. If she sent me away when she woke up, I don't know if I'd be able to physically make myself leave.

I shook my head… I couldn't think about that right now. Not only was I too exhausted, it hurt too much. I crossed the room and dropped down in the reclining chair. Leaning my head back I let my eyes slide shut and was finally able to relax. I hadn't realized just how tense I had been ever since my dad called me out of the garage.

Well, I was able to mostly relax. I wouldn't be able to fully relax until Bella told me she wanted to stay with me. And if that wasn't her answer, then it may be a very long time before I could relax… if ever.

Even with the ache of uncertainty in my heart, it didn't take long before I was mercifully able to drift off to sleep.

.

I WOKE UP SOMETIME in the middle of the night, a blanket draped over me. A quick glance around the room told me Charlie was gone, but he'd left a note on the side table saying he'd gone home to get some rest and would be back in the morning, after he went into the station for a few hours.

Feeling more rested, but still with a heavy heart, I lowered myself into the chair next to Bella's bed. Gently, I took her hand in mine and stroked my thumb over the smooth skin on her wrist, avoiding the IV that was secured to the back of her hand. In the quiet, I was able to process more thoroughly what all had happened the night before; thinking about the inescapable need to be with Bella and hearing her voice call for me in my head, wondering if it had just been my imagination, or had she actually called out to me telepathically?

I had come so close to taking down that bloodsucker. I'd finally gotten my teeth on her, and it had felt good to rip into her, but she'd come way too close to killing Bella. I hadn't really let myself go there yet. That red headed leech had actually touched Bella. The thought made me shudder and sent a pulse of white-hot fury through my veins. And, unfortunately, the damage to the leech wouldn't even be permanent. According to Sam, she had retrieved her dismembered arm in her retreat, so she had probably been able to reattach it. At least I knew it was possible to get her.

Reaching up to her face, my fingers brushed over Bella's cheek, and I smiled a little as she turned her head and pressed into my touch. Trailing them down her neck, and my hand came to rest on her shoulder at the base of her neck.

God, I loved this girl so much. How could I ever live without her? I of course knew the answer… I couldn't. Imprinted or not, Bella meant everything to me.

Between the thought of Bella nearly dying, seeing her lying broken in the hospital bed, and not knowing if she even wanted to be with me anymore, I was overwhelmed. I had pushed everything I was feeling to the side all day, just trying to focus on the next thing I had to deal with, but there was nothing else in that moment that needed my attention. I finally was able to allow myself to process it all… all the sadness, all the uncertainty, and all the pain.

In the quiet of the hospital room, I buried my face against the arm of the girl I loved, and I wept.

.

THE SOUNDS OF someone bustling around the room woke me early the next morning. I was still sitting in the chair next to Bella's bed, holding her hand, and I'd fallen asleep with my head lying next to her arm. I immediately noticed Bella's cheek was resting on the hand I'd left on her shoulder, and her face was flush from the contact with my hot skin. I smiled at her unconscious movement toward me while she slept and my heart clenched… she had to choose to stay with me, she just had to.

"I'm going to need to get in there, dear."

I glanced up at the nurse who was standing nearby, frowning at me. Though her words were kind, the look on her face made it clear she was irritated by my presence.

"Of course," I said as sweetly as possible.

As I stood, I gently removed my hand from between Bella's cheek and shoulder. Leaning in close to her face, I softly ran my fingers across the narrow strip of her forehead that wasn't bandaged and murmured to her.

"Good morning my beautiful Bella."

In response to my voice, she sighed deeply in her sleep, and I smiled again. I moved across the room to the window so I would be out of the way. I looked outside at the falling rain for a moment then leaned against the wall and watched Bella's sleeping form as the nurse worked around her.

That first day, a few of Bella's classmates visited, including the marshmallow boy, Mike. He seemed surprised to see me when he came in and was very uncomfortable with me there. The girl who came with him, Jessica I think, rambled on and on to Bella about all kinds of ridiculous nonsense that was going on at school. I had trouble picturing this girl being a very close friend to Bella. They didn't stay long, thankfully. Angela was the only one who didn't seem intimidated by me when she visited. She stayed the longest and actually talked with me, asking about my life and how Bella and I had met, commenting on how cute it was that we knew each other as children. She definitely seemed the most genuine and caring in her friendship with Bella and I decided I liked her a lot.

Doc had said he was going to be keeping Bella under heavy sedation for several days to make sure her brain and body got the rest it needed. It didn't make much sense for her to have a bunch of visitors while she was unconscious, so Angela agreed to pass the word along to their classmates to wait until Bella was awake before any more of them visited.

The guys all visited too, but that was as much for me as it was for Bella, so I didn't discourage them. Emily brought me food, some books and magazines, and a few changes of clothes, as she'd promised. There was a shower in the private bathroom off of Bella's room the doc said I could use. He even had them bring in a cot for me. It was too small, of course, but surprisingly not by much and was far better than the little reclining chair.

The floor Bella's room was on was one big square of hallways and I liked to take a couple laps a few times a day, just to stretch my legs a bit. Other than those brief walks, and when the nurses needed to tend to Bella, I didn't ever leave her room… and I never left the floor. At first, I worried I might go stir crazy being stuck inside day and night, but I was completely content being near Bella, watching her sleep, holding her hand, listening to the rhythms of her heartbeat and her breathing. The only thing that hindered my contentment was the uncertainty of what Bella's decision was going to be, but I did my best not to think about that… I would just deal with her decision when I had to.

Whenever it was nice enough outside, I would open the windows in Bella's room a little to let some fresh air in. If the sun was shining, I would raise the blinds and let the light pour into the room. I knew Bella would appreciate the sunshine and fresh air if she were awake. And, as content as I was, I did miss being outside… the feel of the wind in my hair, the sun on my skin, the forest floor under my paws, the ocean spray on my face. For now, the blinds and windows were enough though.

By the end of the first day, the nurses all seemed wary of me… I sometimes forgot how intimidating I looked. I could overhear them talking at the nurses' station, though I tried not to. The ones who took the time to get to know me a little thought my constant presence was sweet, the others thought it was creepy… I did look about seven years older than Bella after all. I seriously doubted any of them would believe me if I told them I was only eighteen. None of them gave me any trouble though. The doc had been very adamant that I be allowed to stay.

I felt mostly comfortable with both Alice and the doc now. There was still a deep instinctual feeling of wrongness I had to fight against, but they'd done too much for Bella for me to overlook it. The smell was still hard to deal with. Even though I had adjusted to it some, it was still irritating. Alice had been to see Bella a lot, however she never stayed very long at one time… possibly due to my scent, or the fact that she couldn't see anything when she was in close proximity to me.

On one of her first visits, when we were alone, I remembered to ask her about her comment about the leech with the dreads telling them things about the red head and her mate. She said I should ask the doc since he was the one the other leech talked to.

At the end of the first day, Charlie and I shared the dinner Emily had brought for me. Even though I could have easily eaten it all, she had packed me three servings, so I could also get by on less. Especially since I wasn't phasing right now. We chatted a bit about the day, but mostly ate in silence. When he was finished, he leaned back in his chair, and I could feel him studying me as I continued to eat.

"You need a ride home tonight, Jake?"

"Naw. Doc had them bring me that cot so I could stay here." I gestured to the corner where the cot was set up with blankets and pillows. "He said it was good for her to have someone nearby as much as possible."

"Yeah, I remember him saying that, but it doesn't mean you have to be here all the time kid. Your dad probably misses you, too."

"Sam is going to bring him by tomorrow for a little while. He understands why I'm here, and the guys are all checking on him, so he's fine." My dad did understand… maybe not as well as the pack, but Sam had told him everything that was going on with me and Bella.

Charlie wasn't so sure though. "You know there's nothing you can do while she's asleep, right? She's gonna be okay if you go home and get a good night's sleep in your own bed."

Turning to look at Bella, I shook my head. "Charlie, I can't leave her. I can feel it deep in my soul that, even unconscious, she needs me here. I can't explain it but leaving is simply not an option." I looked back at him, and met his gaze, unflinching. "Please don't try to make me leave Charlie… I cannot do it."

He sighed. "Alright, suit yourself. As long as Dr. Cullen says it's fine. Just make sure you stay out of the way and let the nurses do their jobs."

"I will, you have my word."

That night, after Charlie left, I was able to ask the doc about the info on the red head.

"Right, that probably would be helpful to know. It isn't anything quantifiable, like Edward's mind reading or Alice's visions, but she is especially adept at evasion and self-preservation. And she is faster than the average vampire. In other words, she's really good at getting away."

"Well, that makes sense," I said sourly. "It always seems like she's one step ahead of us… just enough to stay out of reach and escape. Sometimes it even seems like she knows our moves before we make them. We have already been rethinking our approach to taking her down and trying to come up with some new strategies."

"Yes, just waiting for her to make a move and then trying to chase her down is going to be very difficult, as I am sure you have discovered. I'm sorry the information I have isn't more helpful."

I nodded, thinking through a few of the options Sam and I had discussed. There was one in particular I wanted to go over with him again and develop a bit more.

"Hey Doc, I've got another question for you, if you don't mind."

"Of course not, Jacob."

"I'm just curious how come you've made all these special exceptions and accommodations for me. Allowed me to stay in the ER and through all Bella's tests… and to stay here in her room 24/7. I have the feeling I wouldn't normally be allowed to stay overnight."

He gave me a small smile. You're very perceptive Jacob. It's actually because I noticed right away that the closer you were to Bella, the calmer she was, and her vital signs all improved with your presence. In the ambulance on the way to the hospital, just that small separation from you caused her stress and her vitals were all negatively impacted. As soon as you were with her again in the ER room her stress eased… you hadn't even spoken or touched her yet. It was like she could sense you there. None of the spikes were alarming, but in her fragile state, anything like that could potentially cause an issue… and I wasn't sure what an extended separation from you would do to her.

"The most obvious impact on Bella was during her surgery… her blood pressure and heart rate went up so much that I almost sent for you at one point, but then they came back down… not fully, but enough that she wasn't in danger."

My eyes had gone wide as the doc was speaking. "Was that about twenty minutes into the surgery?"

The doc looked at me, surprised. "Yes actually… how did you know that?"

"It was about that time I went outside to get some air for about ten minutes or so, but I came back inside and sat right by the doors where you found me and Sam after the surgery and stayed there the rest of the time."

"That is astounding Jacob," the doc exclaimed.

"It's two-sided then," I said quietly, more to myself really. Looking down at Bella—so beautiful, even with the dark circles and bruising—I gently placed my hand on her bandaged head and rubbed my thumb across her forehead. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by my love for her and had such a deep longing for her to wake up… I wanted to look into those sweet brown eyes and hear her voice.

Bella sighed deeply in her sleep and my heart ached once more. Surely, she'll be able to feel these new connections when she wakes up and decide to stay with me, since it seemed fairly obvious that she's aware of them while she's unconscious. Although, I hoped she'd made her decision to stay before Victoria attacked her. The last thing I would want is for her to feel trapped.

I looked up at the doc when he spoke again, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did you mean by 'two-sided'?"

"Well," I started, looking back down at Bella, "since Bella was injured, I have felt a very powerful need to stay with her. When it first happened, I had just headed off to chase the red head after the attack and my body physically slowed down on its own and everything within me couldn't stand leaving Bella. And since being here, anytime I leave the room I start getting anxious and the further away I get, the worse it gets… almost to the point of pain if I get too far away."

"Is that why you were sitting at the door to surgery yesterday?"

I looked at the doc again, leaving my hand on Bella's head. "Yeah, that was the closest I could get to her. We sometimes have this happen to us—the wolves—where we form an unbreakable connection with our soulmate, which then causes all of these other secondary connections, such as the pull to be with them if they are injured or in danger. We are absolutely committed to them above everything else. We call it imprinting. Throughout our histories it has always happened the first time we look them in the eye, after we've gone through the change." I looked back to Bella. "But it seems to be happening differently for me and Bella. We have all of the secondary connections, and some of them are stronger than the ones my brothers have, the two who have imprinted, but I haven't made the primary unbreakable one… I haven't actually imprinted on Bella, like something's blocking the full connection. I had no idea it affected the other person so strongly… unless that's just with me and Bella."

I don't know why I was sharing so much with this vampire, but it was interesting to discover how much this connection was affecting Bella too. It also might be good for him to know about it, since he was Bella's doctor.

"That's fascinating, Jacob… and I'd imagine quite confusing in your situation with Bella. And the fact she is aware of your presence even while unconscious… so much so that her body responds when you are near, even when you are not speaking to or touching her." He was looking at Bella thoughtfully. "It would be very interesting to see what Jasper could sense around you two."

I looked at him in confusion for a moment, then remembered Bella telling me something about one of the other males also having a power. "Is he the one who can control emotions?" I asked.

The doc nodded. "Sort of. He can influence other's emotions, not necessarily control them, and he can also sense the emotions other people are experiencing. He could maybe give some more insight into what is happening between the two of you."

The thought of becoming at all close with any more vampires was not at all appealing to me. "Maybe we'll just let the rest remain a mystery… at least for now."

"Yes, well, I can certainly understand that. I appreciate you sharing so much with me Jacob. As well as your acceptance of me continuing to treat Bella."

"Yeah, I can hardly believe it myself," I said, a small smirk curling my lips. "I'm grateful though, for both you and Alice, Doc."

"We are both happy to be here and able to help. We know it was her involvement with our family that put her in this danger to start with, so we want to do whatever we can to make it right.

"Well, I will leave you be for the evening. Have a good night, Jacob and see you tomorrow.

"Thanks Doc. See you tomorrow."

The following days were quieter. Besides Charlie, the only visitors were Sam, Emily, and my dad. In the afternoon of the second day, the doc decided the swelling in her arm had come down enough to put on the cast. By the end of the third day, he decided to stop the sedation and allow Bella to wake up. He warned us it could still take a while for her to regain consciousness, so not to be concerned if she didn't wake up right away.

Charlie stayed late that night, both of us anxious for her to be awake again. He was still sitting by her bed when I passed out around midnight. I knew he was hoping he could be there when she woke up.

I just needed her to tell me she didn't want to give up on us.