A/N: Longest chapter so far - enjoy!

"Amanda?"

I jumped a little in my seat as Emily's hand came down on my forearm and I turned to meet her worried gaze.

"Are you all right?"

Billy held out his hand. "Give me the picture, Amanda."

Wordlessly, I handed him the photo and waited for the explosion.

It wasn't long in coming.

"Sinclair! When the hell did he get out?" Billy thundered, one fist slamming down on the tabletop, and I bit the inside of my cheek, knowing that if Lee was here, he would already be pacing the floor. "It's barely been two years since we put this man in prison – he can't be out already!"

Dr. Smyth sniffed. "Apparently he made a deal-"

Emily leaned over and whispered in my ear as Smyth and Billy continued to bicker. "Who is this man, Amanda? Someone you and Lee put away?"

I nodded. "Yes, but he wasn't even on the Agency's radar – he kidnapped a friend of mine, and then a few days later, his men grabbed me from the charity event I was working at the time. Actually, Sinclair was the head of it – he was organizing volunteers to help train guide dogs for the blind – but he wasn't even blind! It was all a cover so he could kidnap women – and sell them to businessman as –" I shuddered at the memory, rubbing my arms as I suddenly felt cold. "I never found out what he would have done with me because-"

Emily reached over and grasped my hand, giving it a firm squeeze. "Lee saved you – our boy will always save you."

"He's not here now," I whispered, my voice sounding weak even to my own ears.

I needed to find the strength within myself this time to face Sinclair. If he had anything to do with this young woman's disappearance, I couldn't just sit on the sidelines and do nothing. The fact that she was Dr. Smyth's great-niece was nearly irrelevant – she was only a few years older than Philip.

I had to do something.

I raised my eyes to see that everyone else's focus was now on me, and that the other conversation had come to an end. I cleared my throat.

"Do we know for sure that it's Sinclair?"

Dr. Smyth again patted his pockets, looking for a cigarette and I realized that the man didn't know what to do with his hands because when he was awake, he was always smoking.

"I've never seen the man myself, King, and neither have the men I sent to conduct surveillance on Project Care Patch's base of operations. Based off your reaction to the photograph, I'd say this man bears a strong resemblance to Sinclair."

I nodded as I took the photo back from Billy and stared at the image. "It's a bit blurry, and it's a profile shot, but it certainly looks like Sinclair. The question is, why would he stick around DC? If he did make a deal for early release, I would think he'd be a wanted man – after all this time, we never did find out the identity of the 'buyer'."

"Buyer?" Emily repeated, her tone giving away her confusion.

I nodded. "I had a buyer – and I'm assuming that my friend Gail had one as well – in fact, there might have been a whole network of buyers," my eyes widened as the new thought struck me. "I wonder how many names Sinclair gave up – and how many more buyers are out there." I turned to Billy. "Sir, we need to find out if this is Sinclair – if it is, we have to find out if he's involved in PCP-"

Billy frowned. "PCP?"

"Project Care Patch – PCP is shorter and quicker to say," Emily replied, already running along the same train of thought as myself. "Billy, if this nasty piece of work has come up with another charity front - and this time is selling young women – teenagers- we've got to catch the bugger and get the system to throw the book at him this time."

Maggie had been very quiet during this entire phase of the discussion but now she spoke, her voice clear and steady as it cut through the room. "Amanda?"

I turned my head in her direction. "Yes?"

"This man – this Sinclair – he was really going to sell you to some businessman as a – " her words fumbled to a stop.

I nodded.

"I think the word you are looking for is slave," Billy spoke softly, but just as clearly. "Amanda probably would have ended up behind the Iron Curtain or in some Arab nation, as part of a household where all the Western freedoms she enjoys now would be non-existent over there. She would have been forced to-"

"Stop!" Maggie begged, raising a hand to block out his words. "You – you're talking about human trafficking."

"Yes."

She moaned. "Meg-"

I grabbed the older woman's hand in mine and held on tight. "We don't have any way of knowing what's happened to your granddaughter – and we don't know for certain that this man Sinclair is involved. Even if he is – please don't jump to the worst-case scenarios – you'll make yourself sick with worry. Stay strong – we'll do everything we can to get her back."

Maggie squeezed my hand before letting go. "Why do you do this kind of work? I mean, you could have been sold as a slave by this nasty man years ago and never seen your family again-"

"But I wasn't," I interrupted her gently. "And I do it for my boys – and for the Megs. You see, your brother is right – I'm just a housewife and mother turned agent – trying to make the world a little bit safer for them."

"How noble, and saccharine sweet," Dr. Smyth muttered.

Maggie ignored her brother's comment. "So, you will help? This is – how did you put it – an Agency matter?"

I exchanged a look with Billy before speaking again. "I think that PCP bears a more thorough looking into – perhaps by the IRS?"

"The IRS?" Maggie frowned. "But – I thought you were going to help-"

I grinned. "Oh, it will be us – we'll just have IRS identification."

The older woman's jaw dropped. "You can do that? Wow."

Dr. Smyth stood. "Okay, sis, time for you to go. I can't have you knowing all our secrets, can I?"

"Wait – Amanda, here's my card. Please stay in touch with me – call me day or night with any questions or developments, all right?"

"I will, Maggie."

"Come on, Mags, I'll walk you out."

Billy turned to me as soon as the door swung shut behind them. "I don't like you being on the front lines of this one, Amanda. Sinclair can id you too-"

"Billy, have you forgotten that I was an actress on the stage?" Emily interrupted. "I have my make up kit and a few disguises with me. I'll doll Amanda up, she'll pose as my assistant, and no one will take a second look at her!"

Billy shook his head. "I still don't like it – and neither will Lee!"

"Lee isn't here, is he?" I argued. "He's off on his own assignment somewhere-"

"But he arranged to make his check-ins with you-"

My eyebrows rose in surprise. "He did?"

"Yes, every evening at eleven he'll call the house, posing as your loving husband to check in on you and the kids-"

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from grinning. There's your wicked sense of humor, Lee Stetson! I miss you already. I struggled to focus on what my boss was saying.

"If something is wrong and he needs you to activate the backup team, he'll ask you if the kids are 'minding their manners'."

I smiled and nodded in recognition of the code.

"If he misses his eleven o'clock check in, his next time is six am – seven hours later. If he misses that one too, call the Agency and let me know. I'll take it from there."

I frowned. "And then what happens?"

"I'll take it from there," he repeated. "Look, Amanda, Lee and Francine's assignment is a straightforward rescue of two agents that have gone missing – I don't anticipate trouble, but you know we have to prepare for every contingency."

I nodded and tried to ignore the knot building in my stomach.

"And now that you know Lee arranged to have his check ins with you, if you aren't there for some reason, you know he's going to take it out of my hide!"

I grinned. "I'll be home, don't you worry."

Billy grunted. "Okay, let's hear this plan of yours."

"Mrs. King?"

I paused on the stairs leading to the Q bureau. "Yes, Mrs. Marston?"

"Your ex-husband called two times while you were in the meeting with Dr. Smyth. He wants you to call him back ASAP."

"Did he leave a number?"

"He said he's working from home this morning."

"Thank you, Mrs. Marston." I climbed the rest of the stairs to where Emily was waiting patiently at the top. "Sorry-"

"You are a popular lady today."

I slid the key into the lock and turned the knob. "I could stand a little less popularity-"

The phone on my desk was ringing and I had a sixth sense who was calling. Emily sauntered over to the window as I slung my purse over the back of my chair, plopped down and grabbed the phone.

"Mrs. King speaking-"

"Amanda, finally! I've been calling and calling-"

I sighed. "Joe – you do realize that I'm at work. I had a meeting first thing – it just let out and –"

"Gee, I'm sorry. I guess this thing with Jamie just has me all tied up in knots. I didn't get much sleep last night-"

I wound the spiral phone cord around my finger as I listened to Joe talk about how much his decision to move back to Estoccia was affecting him – how he had wrestled with the decision for weeks before deciding to just go for it.

"And you didn't think that maybe you should discuss it with the boys and me first?" I interrupted him mid-speech.

"Amanda, you and I aren't married anymore – I didn't think I needed to clear my decision with you-"

I rolled my eyes and muttered. "I mean, you didn't discuss it with me when we were married, so why start now-"

"Amanda King, what has gotten into you?"

Damn! Did I say that out loud? I know I've thought about it over the years, but I never meant to say it out loud.

I scrubbed a hand across my forehead. "Joe, I'm sorry. That was a low blow – and no, you don't have to run anything by me anymore – but what about the boys? Don't you think that maybe you should have sat down with them and told them you were thinking about going back to Africa – gotten their read on things?"

"They're teenagers – I mean, would I have gotten more than a two- or three-word sentence out of them?"

"You never know until you try – and now it's too late. You've made the decision to go-"

"No! I mean, not if you don't want me to-"

I frowned. "Not if I don't want you to? Joe, it's not up to me – this is your decision – and one you've already made with Carrie, right?"

"I suppose."

"Joe, what's going on?" I demanded, a new knot of anxiety forming in my stomach.

I didn't need this – not today. Not on top of my worry about Lee's mission, and my concern for Jamie, and the return of Sinclair. My emotions were already worn thin, and I didn't have my own personal emotional support person in the form of my husband here to wrap me up in his arms and tell me it was all going to work out.

"Look, can I meet you somewhere for lunch?"

I looked up to see Emily studying me from the window. "Today? Gosh, Joe, it's my first day off light duty and things are crazy busy around here-" I broke off as Emily moved to the front of my desk and began to make shooing motions. I frowned at her, but she grew more insistent, and I covered the mouthpiece of the phone.

"What?" I hissed at her.

"Go on, Amanda. You've got to eat."

I rolled my eyes and removed my hand. "Look, I have a nine o'clock appointment – but then I have a bit of free time. Can you meet me for brunch instead?"

"Our usual spot – Betty's?"

I nodded. "Ten-thirty."

Someone tapped on the door and Leatherneck poked his head in. "Ready to roll, Mrs. King?"

"I've got to go, Joe. See you later." I hung up and stood, unconsciously straightening my sweater. "Emily, you're welcome to use the computer and do some digging on PCP while I'm gone-"

"PCP!" Leatherneck exclaimed.

"It's a long story, Leatherneck," I laughed.

"It always is with you – hey, where's Lee?"

I sighed. "On assignment – out of the country."

"Bummer – I know he likes to watch you on the range."

I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't need to hold my hand anymore. Or have you forgotten that I hold the fourth highest record in the Agency?"

"Actually, you're number three – Anders retired last month." Leatherneck opened the door and waited for me to go first. "Oh, and Mrs. King?"

"Yes?"

His eyes darted down to my left hand and back up to my face. "Congratulations. I'm really very happy for both you and Lee."

"Thanks, Leatherneck."

10/8/85

I don't like guns.

It's never bothered me that Lee carries one. He has had years of training and even though he has drawn his weapon nearly every time I am with him on a case, he doesn't fire it unless he absolutely has to. He has other means of using 'deadly force' – I've seen him incapacitate a suspect using just his fists and powerful roundhouse kicks. That is something I could never do – I don't have the amount of body mass needed to take a suspect down even though he has told me it is simply a case of mind over matter. Francine has shown me some self-defense moves over the years to keep me safe from getting mugged, or worse, but I don't think I could ever go on offense. Which means to provide the proper back-up as Lee's partner, I need to be able to aim and fire a gun.

I've put this firearm qualification off for as long as I can – and it can't be delayed any longer. Unfortunately, it's coming at a time when I'm so annoyed and frustrated with Lee that when Leatherneck puts a gun in my hand tomorrow, I just might shoot my partner's head off!

I don't understand this dance we're doing – one step forward and two steps back. Last week when I helped Lee and Paul finally close the case with Tin Man and capture Dorothy's killer – Lee was in such a good place. This had been eating away at him for such a long time and to finally have closure, to finally let go of the guilt – well, his whole demeanor was lighter. He bought me roses, something that he hasn't done for a woman since Dorothy's death because the scent makes him ill. But not anymore. He whistled as he left the office and when he came into work the next morning, his steps were light and his smile ready.

Then a few days ago, I noticed that his steps were dragging again, and the whistling had stopped. There were circles under his eyes, and a five o'clock shadow on his face. When I asked what the matter was, he said that he was having some trouble sleeping but that it was nothing for me to worry about. I was puzzled – he had just gotten rid of a ten-year weight on his back– he should be sleeping like a baby – what was keeping him up at night now?

And then the water cooler whispers reached me – Scarecrow has a new lady friend- someone new and exciting. Francine snickered in my ear that the 'midnight rambler' was back – Lee had all the signs of staying out late and partying and then coming into work hung over and satisfied. I turned away with a disgusted snort, hoping to hide the pain in my eyes and my bleeding heart.

Later that day Lee twisted the knife in my heart even more when he asked about the dress I had worn to the Russian Embassy with him on New Year's Eve. He told me how beautiful I'd looked – right before he asked where he could get it because he knew someone it would look great on. I actually took enormous satisfaction in telling him that I had made it, so the dress was a one-of-a-kind Amanda King original.

I had to walk away then before I said or did something I would regret later. I swear, if I'd had a gun, I might have shot his knee or foot or some other vital organ part. Does he not see that I'm standing right in front of him – that all he has to do is reach out, take me in his arms and-

Stop it, Amanda. It's not going to happen. No matter how much you want it, or how much you think you see something in his eyes when he looks at you. . . .

I can't believe I actually fired a gun. Of course, I didn't fire it at a person – but I did fire the weapon and I did hit what I was aiming at – which was a pulley holding up a net – which provided enough of a diversion for my partner and Francine to disarm and capture O-. Francine was quick to praise my shooting, for once! While my partner berated me for not shooting O-, I tried to explain my logic all the while I could feel myself getting worked up again. I had just saved his butt again, by firing a gun this time – something that I had actually sworn to myself I would never do – and I had done it for him.

Because I love you, Lee. Even when you are too scared and short-sighted and clueless to see what's right in front of you.

I guess he must have felt bad about our argument in the hallway outside his apartment yesterday and asking about my dress for Leslie – because as soon as we wrapped the case, he asked me to have dinner with him.

Not as window dressing for meeting a contact, and he promised no shop talk.

An actual date.

When I reminded him that he had his own plans with Leslie, he said that she wouldn't be lonely and set a time for us to meet at a little bistro neither one of us had been to but had been wanting to try.

I was early for a change and waited in the small vestibule for Lee to arrive, fiddling with the clasp of my clutch. I had considered wearing the little black dress Lee talked about yesterday, but I knew this restaurant's dress code was too casual and I wanted to make him earn the privilege of seeing me in that dress again. Instead, I had chosen a simple long sleeved red dress that swirled around my knees, with matching pumps and a sparkly clutch. But the clasp on the clutch was loose, and I kept playing with it as my nerves got the best of me as I waited for my partner.

"Amanda?"

I turned at the sound of his voice and my clutch fell open, spilling the few contents onto and across the floor.

"Oh my gosh!" I gasped as I squatted down and began to collect things, stuffing them back inside as I felt my face flame to match my dress.

"Here, let me help you." Lee was next to me in an instant, handing me a compact and then a packet of tissues, his warm hand grazing mine.

"I think that's everything," I whispered, as our eyes met and held. "I can be such a klutz. Now you know why I aimed for the pulley yesterday-"

He chuckled as he grasped my elbows and slowly pulled both of us up to our feet. "A-man-da, about that-"

I shook my head and turned away, looking for the hostess. "No shop talk, remember? I'm starving, do you think it will take long to get a table-"

"Hey, let me say this one thing and then no more shop talk, okay?" His hands tugged me back to him and I shivered at the contact as I raised my eyes back to his.

I nodded.

"You saved my life yesterday – again," He grinned. "And in the moment, I was less than gracious. I just wanted to say – thanks, partner."

The smile slipped from my face as I felt my irritation bubble to the surface. "Is that what this is – an apology dinner? Because you could have just bought me roses again-" I stepped back and walked towards the front door only to have him spin me around, back into his chest.

"Amanda, what is the matter with you?"

"What's the matter with me? You're the one who's been suffering from insomnia for days and has been acting like a bear with a sore paw- why don't you go find Leslie – your new girlfriend-"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Lee shouted and then lowered his voice as he noticed other patrons staring at us. He loosened his grip on my arms and I took a step back. "We've only been on two dates and – look, I don't intend to see her anymore."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Oh? Why is that – is it because she's going back to Europe?"

He ran a hand through his hair, the thick strands standing straight up, as he searched for words. I waited and wondered, knowing it was hard for him to open up. Was it possible that he did feel something for me – something more than friendship?

"You were right, okay? Leslie is a perfectly nice, normal person – but she doesn't understand me – she'll never understand me – not like – not like my partner does."

Warmth flowed through me at his words. It wasn't a declaration of love – it wasn't even a declaration of 'I'd like to get to know you better' – and yet it was a step in the right direction.

My heart was hammering in my chest, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I stepped into his personal space and reached out to smooth down his hair. He went very still under my ministrations and my eyes darted up to his.

I shrugged as I stepped back. "That's the best I can do without a comb - but I think they'll seat us for dinner now."

He grabbed my hand and kissed the back. "Have I told you how ravishing you look in red?"

"I thought you preferred black," I teased him with a smile.

"S-, party of two," the hostess announced, breaking the moment.

Lee held out his arm and I placed my hand inside the crook of his elbow, as my heart skipped a beat. Sure, he'd done this before, on undercover operations, and on the two dates we had been on with his uncle, but tonight I thought I really did see something more in his eyes.

As the hostess led us to a back booth, he leaned down and whispered in my ear, "It's not the color of the dress, Amanda – it's the woman wearing it."

I lowered the training gun as Leatherneck flicked the lights back on.

"Congratulations, Mrs. King. You just beat your old record."

I spun around in surprise. "Does that mean?"

Leatherneck chuckled. "You are now number two – right behind your soon-to-be husband, Lee Stetson."

My fingers flew to my mouth to cover the giggles that tried to escape. "Bu-But that means Francine-"

He nodded. "You knocked her down to number three."

I giggled. "Poor Francine. She's going to challenge me to a duel when she gets back." I glanced at my wristwatch and gasped. "I have to go – are we done? This means I'm certified again, right?"

"Mrs. King, you are once again a fully qualified agent, with the right to bear arms. Congratulations." He slid my small caliber service weapon across the counter to me and I stared at it for a long moment before I picked it up.

"Thanks, Leatherneck." I made sure the safety was engaged before I put my gun in my purse. I turned to leave but his voice stopped me.

"Can I ask you something?"

"If you make it quick-"

"What changed?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you were so terrible your first time in here – gosh, no offense, Mrs. King-"

I waved his apology away. "I know I was. Go on-"

"But then you came in a week later and you nailed it. After that, your scores have only gotten better and better. What happened?"

I remembered how I couldn't even fire at the simulations the first time – how they were all young girls and women, and I couldn't bring myself to fire on them even after every single one of them 'killed' me. But my perspective changed that afternoon when I had to fire a gun to save Lee and Francine. Now every time I pick up a gun, I think about Lee, or the boys, or Mother. What if one of them dies because I don't fire my weapon? When I'm out in the field, not every shot has to be a kill shot – not every shot has to be aimed at a person – it can simply be a more effective form of distraction. Once I wrapped my head around it, passing my firearms qualifications wasn't so difficult.

I smiled at Leatherneck as I opened the door, saying over my shoulder: "I just needed some time to get a new perspective."

A/N: I loved S3 'Over the Limit' - but I did want to slap Lee for the dress scene - could he have been more clueless? Did you like my journal entry twist on the episode? And Amanda's 'growth' in firearms proficiency?

Up Next: Brunch with Joe and the PCP case gets going. Want it? Leave me some more love in reviews!