CHAPTER 17

*****BELLA POV*****

DISCOMFORT SLITHERED DOWN my spine. Not pain, but an uneasiness that slipped into my mind and began to bring me to some form of consciousness. I wasn't dreaming, but I wasn't fully awake either. A voice spoke softly nearby, and a faint scent touched my nose. Something inside me remembered these things bringing me pleasure at one time, but they were disconcerting to me now.

I tried to recall where I was as I struggled to open my eyes. My thoughts were all cloudy, jumbled, and confused. A small but distinct longing to see Edward seeped into my mind.

No, Edward left me. I didn't want him anymore. I was finally healed from that pain.

Another thought crept in: I needed to get away from Jake; I wasn't safe with him.

No! That's wrong. This was all so wrong. I didn't want to leave Jake; I had decided to stay with him. He's not unsafe, he is my protector, and he keeps me safe. My mind was warring with itself, confused between the disconcerting desire to see Edward and leave Jake, and the feeling of wrongness.

I fought against the confusion and cloudiness… it wasn't right; none of this was right. As if from a distance, I heard an incoherent mumbling when I tried to command the ominous presence away from me. Pain shot through my body as I struggled to move away from the presence that was so close. I knew I wasn't getting anywhere, didn't even know where the threat was to know where I could go, but I struggled harder, more pain tearing through me. A gasp broke free from my throat as a streak of fire shot from my head down my back, clearing some of the fog from my mind.

I remembered where I was.

In the same moment the desire for Edward vanished and was replaced by fear, and a yearning for who I really wanted. Jacob!

JAKE! Help me, Jake! I shouted the thought as I tried to use my voice to call out to him, but no sound would come out.

Moments later, still struggling to get away from the unseen danger, I heard a loud bang then a feral sounding voice growled with loud piercing authority.

"What the hell!? Get away from her, you filthy leech!" Jake had come!

At the same time, Alice's shocked voice rang through. "Edward, what in the world are you doing!"

I was in motion as I floated sideways, and then my world was shaking like an earthquake.

"She's not yours, dog. I didn't leave just so she could wind up with your kind. She's not safe with you, and you know it."

My brain was still so foggy, and everything was burning with pain. Knowing Jake was there, fear was replaced with relief, and I stopped struggling, allowing some of the pain to subside.

"If you know what's good for you leech, you'll leave… now." I had never heard Jacob use such a commanding harsh tone before.

The scent of Jacob reached me, and through the fog I noticed that it begun to overpower the unpleasant smell. I wanted to wipe that other smell from my senses, so I breathed deeply over and over, even though my ribs burned with every breath. I didn't care; the more of Jake's scent I took in, the more the memory of the other was wiped away, so I greedily took in his musky smell of forest and ocean. The fog in my head started to lift and my nerves were calmed with every breath. I still couldn't focus enough to open my eyes yet.

"Edward!" Carlisle had arrived, both shock and disappointment ringing in his voice.

"Surely neither of you are siding with the mutt."

"That doesn't matter, Edward, this is not the way to handle anything. Come away, we have much to discuss."

"You ARE siding with him! I'm not leaving her here with him."

A low, menacing growl rumbled from Jake.

"Oh yes you are. Maybe if you'd answer your phone, you'd know what was going on." Alice.

My mind finally cleared enough that I was able to open my eyes. I looked up in time to see Carlisle and Alice escorting a frustrated but compliant Edward out of my room. He locked eyes with me for a moment, just before he passed through the door, and they were tortured and vacant… I vaguely remembered seeing that same look reflected at me in the mirror many times. I shuddered at the sight of it on his face, and the memory of it on mine, then moaned at the pain in my body. All of the parts of me that were battered and broken were aching and burning.

At my miserable cry, Jacob turned his attention from the exiting vampires to me. He was tense and trembling all over, and he carefully backed several slow steps away from my bed, which immediately stopped shaking.

"Are you okay?" Concern, anger, and tension laced his voice. "Did he hurt you?"

"No, I don't think he touched me." A grimace creased my face from the throbbing pain. "I was asleep, but I started to feel uneasy. Then afraid. I couldn't wake up though." I began gasping every few words from the pain. "I don't know… exactly what happened… but for a moment… I wanted to… see Edward… wanted to… leave you… I somehow knew… it wasn't my desire." I had to stop talking. The pain was too much, and it wasn't helping Jake calm down to see my pain.

There was so much anguish and anger in Jacob's eyes. He was really struggling, more than I had ever seen him struggle before. I needed to get to him, to touch him. Something inside of me knew that if I could touch him, he would calm down much faster. "Jake, please come over here to me." My voice was breathy and strained.

He was concentrating so hard; he didn't respond at first. Finally, he shook his head and spoke through clenched teeth. "I'm afraid to move… I don't want to hurt you."

Carlisle returned with a nurse trailing behind him. He took one look at my pained face and instructed her to give me another dose of my pain meds. Her focus had immediately gone to Jacob and kept a wary eye on him as she moved to do as Carlisle had asked.

"Bella, I am so sorry about this," Carlisle was saying. "I don't know what came over Edward or what he was thinking by upsetting you like that." He shook his head and then seemed to notice the struggle Jake was having and came to stand protectively in front of me.

"Carlisle," I gasped, "I need… to help Jake… calm down."

His trembling wasn't getting any better and he was sweating from the effort to not phase.

"Please help me stand." Carlisle gave me a concerned look as I continued to struggle to speak. "I know… it will hurt… but my touch… will calm him… I'm positive."

Carlisle hesitated.

The nurse was looking at Jake with wide, scared eyes.

"Please Carlisle," I begged, "It would tear him up… if anything bad happened."

Carlisle finally nodded and gently put his arm around my shoulders to help me sit up. Every movement sent pain shooting through me, but I kept focused on Jake. He was all that mattered at that moment.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and gasped as a new pain shot through my back. A low growl came from Jake at my pain, and he shook his head slowly from side to side, his fists pressed against his temples.

"Dr. Cullen, are you sure…" the nurse began to protest, but Carlisle silenced her with a look.

"Sophie, why don't you go, and shut the door behind you," he said, his voice and expression had softened. She nodded robotically and, with one final glance at Jake, she scurried out of the room.

Jake was watching me, and his form was starting to blur. Seeing my pain was making it worse. "Close your eyes, Jacob. I'm going to be fine… just don't look." I wanted to say more, but there was too much pain in my voice.

He hesitated for a moment but did as I asked, squeezing his eyes tightly shut.

I tried desperately not to make any noise as I stood up and leaned heavily on Carlisle to take the few excruciating steps over to Jake. When I reached him, I touched his chest then ran my hand up to his face. His tremors sent waves through my body, worsening my already intense pain. My mouth opened in a silent cry, tears slipping down my face from the effort I was putting forth both to stand with the pain, and to remain silent.

Since I couldn't speak to him without my pain coming through, I needed to communicate to him that I was okay and no longer in danger. I caressed his face a few times then wrapped my good arm around his waist and held him tight. Carlisle let go of my waist, but I could feel that he stayed close, just in case I needed his help. Jake's tremors finally started to subside, but not enough. I slipped my hand under his shirt and trailed my fingers up and down his back, then, since I couldn't use my other hand, I nuzzled my face against his chest. Finally, his control began to return, and his breathing calmed. Soon, only his arms where shaking. I kept rubbing his back and nuzzling my face against his chest until I couldn't feel any more tremors. With the danger gone, the pain overwhelmed me. I cried out and collapsed.

Both Carlisle and Jacob caught me. After a moment of adjusting, I was completely resting in Jacob's arms, my head on his shoulder. The entire ordeal couldn't have taken more than five minutes from when Edward had left, but I was drained.

Suddenly, a strange cooling sensation flowed through me from the top of my head all the way down to my feet, followed immediately by a warmth that started in my belly and radiated outward to all my body. I hoped I hadn't caused further damage to something, because that did not feel normal, but it also didn't feel bad. It actually felt soothing. I should tell Carlisle… but I'd do it in a minute because I couldn't muster the energy right then. Jake's tremors were gone though, and I'd kept him from phasing right there in my hospital room, so it was worth it.

"I'm so sorry Bella," Jake said quietly. "I don't know if that was brave or stupid for you to do that but thank you baby."

As I lay limp from exhaustion in Jake's arms, I breathed a sigh of relief. A dull ache went through my ribs at the motion of my lungs. That wasn't right…

Jacob began to lower me back onto the bed as I processed the strange feeling… the dull ache in my ribs was also in the rest of my injured areas.

Gently placing me on the bed, he started to stand back up and move toward the chair.

I let out a strangled cry as horrible burning pain tore through my body.

"Wait!" I gasped. "Up… up…" I sounded like a toddler as I reached for Jake but that's all I could manage through the pain. He hastily scooped me back up off the bed and immediately the pain left until it was just a dull ache again.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Jake asked.

I took another deep breath… just the dull ache once more.

I looked into Jake's concerned and confused eyes. "It doesn't hurt. As long as I'm close against you there's no pain, just a dull ache. As soon as you put me down the pain flared back up." I lowered my head on Jake's shoulder again, the fatigue making it difficult to support the weight of it.

Jake looked over to Carlisle who was standing at the foot of my bed now.

He looked uncertain and shrugged. "I don't know Jacob. It follows along the lines of what we were discussing the other day. The more contact she had with you, the more her stress levels went down. I never imagined you holding her would almost completely take the pain away.

I wanted to ask what they were talking about, but I couldn't muster the energy.

"Perhaps you can just hold her until we can be sure the pain meds have kicked in."

Jake spoke with intense conviction. "I will never put her down again if it will keep the pain away."

The last thing I remembered was feeling Jake sit down on the edge of my bed, then I drifted off into an almost completely pain-free sleep.

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*****JACOB POV*****

I WATCHED AS Bella's face relaxed back into a peaceful sleep. It felt good to have her in my arms again. Even though I was worn out now from the effort I had exerted to not phase, I knew I could sit here and hold her for hours if I needed to. The only thing that made it hard was that she smelled bad from the freaking bloodsucker breathing all over her.

I looked up at the doc. He was busy messing with the machines Bella had come unhooked from. He was turning them off and rearranging things, not bothering to hook her back up to them right then… the only thing she was still connected to was the IV. I waited until he was done before saying anything.

"What the hell happened Doc?" I spoke quietly, irritation clear in my voice. "What was he doing to her?"

He came and sat down in the chair next to the bed and sighed deeply. "I didn't see what Edward did because you were already between them when I got here. What did you see him doing when you came in?"

"He was leaning over her, breathing on her, and talking to her. I didn't hear what he said, but he didn't sound right. She was struggling, like she was trying to get away. I never saw him actually touch her though."

"Hmmm… I'm not sure, Jacob. If he wanted to speak to her, I don't know why he would try to do so while she was unconscious."

He said he didn't know, but I felt like that wasn't completely true. A light movement of air drew my attention as it brushed over my skin, and I looked toward the windows, remembering the uneasy feeling from earlier.

"I think he was watching her room from the trees earlier." I motioned with my chin toward the windows. "I had the windows opened this afternoon. Maybe I didn't get one locked and when he realized I'd left the room, he thought he'd take the opportunity to try to talk to her."

The doc checked all the windows and found one of them open slightly. He shut and locked it then turned back to me.

"I think you're partially right, Jacob, but I feel as though there is more to his actions and the motives behind them. I do have one idea, but it is very unlikely, so I'd like to speak with him first. I don't believe that Edward is quite himself right now, so I should probably go to see how he is doing." He hesitated. "I am sure Bella's pain medicine has taken effect by now, so you should be able to put her down without her pain returning."

I looked down at Bella. "I don't know if I want to risk it. She really aggravated everything getting up and moving around like that. I want to do everything I can to take full advantage of whatever is giving her this relief."

"Yes, she did, but you look exhausted… you exerted a lot of effort as well."

He was right, I was really starting to feel the effects of having to work so hard to bring my emotions back in check after Cullen left. I don't think I'd had ever had that much trouble before, not since the first time. So, while I could sit here like this for hours, it would not be easy, but I absolutely did not want to do anything that would cause Bella's pain to return.

Looking at us thoughtfully, he continued. "That bed is actually wide enough for both of you to fit, if you would be comfortable laying down with her. Do you think that is close enough to keep her pain at bay?"

I tensed a little and my heart leapt in my chest at the thought of being in bed next to Bella. The 18-year-old part of me was practically giddy at the thought. With everything going on in my life lately, I hadn't really thought about it, but it occurred to me that I didn't exactly feel 18 anymore… I felt sort of trapped somewhere between the age I am and the age my body has matured to. I doubt it had ever been tested, but it seemed to me that our hormones and minds would mature more quickly as well, once our bodies had finished growing. I had been working very hard over the past week to control my desires for Bella, and I had gotten really good at it, considering how powerful and intoxicating her scent had become to me. Better than any 18-year-old should be in fact. Knowing she was injured would make it even easier. I decided that I'd be able to handle it for that reason alone.

"Your guess is as good as mine about keeping the pain away," I replied. "I'm definitely willing to give it a shot. I'm not sure how Charlie would feel about it if he found me in Bella's bed in the morning though." Actually, I was certain that he would not approve at all.

Doc nodded and gave me a small understanding smile. "Well, the way she is drawn to you in her sleep will probably keep her as close to you as she is now. Since we have no idea what's actually causing her lack of pain, my best guess would be that it will work to keep the pain away. As for your other concern, Alice can keep tabs on Charlie's plans for the morning and either she or I can come to get you up before he would get here. I will also leave instructions with the nurses to forgo their normal checks on Bella tonight, so you won't be disturbed."

I agreed and he helped me get Bella situated. I positioned myself on her right side to avoid jostling or bumping her injured arm or ribs. Doc was right, and as I laid down next to her, she snuggled as close to me as she could get, her head turned toward me. Feeling her small, warm body pressed up against mine was absolute heaven. The pleasure of the moment was tainted by the reality of why I was laying with her, but I still couldn't help but enjoy being so close.

After he left, I laid there for a long time and watched her sleep, caressing her face and neck. I was overcome with the love that I have for her and the fact that I can call her mine… really call her mine because she had decided to stay.

A new little worry had crept in though. Somewhere in the back of my mind I had been worried that someday Edward would show up and Bella would be drawn back to him. I never thought it would be this soon though. He had been like a drug to her, dark, controlling, and unhealthy, but powerful. If tonight was any indication, then it didn't appear that he had a hold over her any longer. It was hard to imagine that she would still be affected by him like she used to be, considering everything we had discovered about her connection to me, but I couldn't completely shake the concern.

There was nothing I could do about it at that moment, so I put those thoughts away for the time being. I wanted to just focus on Bella getting better, and would deal with whatever else may come later.

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