Earth...fire...water...air...

"I never saw so drear, so rank, so arduous a wilderness! Its very memory gives a shape to fear. Death could scarce be more bitter than that place! But since it came to good, I will recount all that I found revealed there by God's grace." – from Dante Alighieri's The Inferno

AVATAR

The Celestial Sailors

BOOK THREE: DEATH

22: Drifter

The morning's mist parted as the ship docked. Usagi had confided herself to her cabin ever since waking up, not wishing to speak to anyone or go anywhere. Suddenly feeling conflicted about the actions she must take was weighing on her. She was no longer certain which was right or wrong—and worse still, whether Evil was really evil—and these thoughts overcame her and rent her largely immobile. Only Luna knew the full extent of her woes, and the cat thankfully kept her own council. A rap on her door alerted Usagi that everyone was ready to disembark, so she called out an affirmative, gathered her belongings, and went outside. As if to reinforce her troubles, the sky beat down brightly, boastful in its defiance of the fog that had briefly ensorcelled them.

"Hey, you all right?" Mamoru called. Usagi looked at him, then looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

"Yeah, um...I guess so." Thinking she was merely beleaguered by her normal Avatar concerns, Mamoru thought nothing of it. He put an arm around her and kissed her cheek.

"Nervous?"

"No, it..." She found herself subconsciously slipping away. Something was definitely wrong now.

"Are you sure?" Usagi looked around, searching for her friends. Ami and Minako were holding hands as they peered out at the port town; Makoto was balancing on the bulwark as she jogged around the ship; Rei and Setsuna were chatting; Haruka and Michiru were in a trance as the waves splashed and the wind whipped against them.

"Um...I dunno, to be honest. Can it...wait until we're on land?"

"Sure," Mamoru said, still a little bewildered. Once everyone was ready, they crossed over the plank, bid the crew farewell, and found an isolated spot. Usagi was a mixed bag of regret, guilt, and dread squeezed into an ambivalent teenage package. She fidgeted so much that even Luna didn't want anything to do with her.

"What's the matter, Usagi?" Rei said. "You know, if you need to use the bathroom, you should've done that when we were on the ship."

"It...it's not that," she managed, anxiously playing with her hair. How could she express what she was feeling now? How could she explain to them what she had seen, and heard? She couldn't. The Avatar was supposed to know good from evil. Right now, Usagi just felt lost. She decided just to talk, to let the words come as they would, and sort out the consequences later.

So she told them who was behind the Lightbringers, and why he had brought them about, and how he was suffering for the world's sake, and how she believed, deep down, he truly was fighting against evil. And then she let them have it, the crux of her indecision, the core of her ambivalence.

"I'm honestly not sure we should fight something like that...or even if we could." Before anyone could interrupt with an objection, she hastily added, "I know what you're going to say! You'll call me a coward, an indecisive brat, a wishy-washy...good-for-nothing, poor excuse of an Avatar, but...I really don't know anymore. I honestly don't know what's right."

Those who loved her and knew her best, thankfully, didn't judge her. They simply listened, their expressions soft and patient. Setsuna merely closed her eyes, looking ominous and gloomy. Haruka and Michiru sneered, the former spitting in disgust.

"And here I was, ready to respect you. Well, I won't make that mistake again."

"Don't say that!" Minako exclaimed. "Usagi's obviously going through a lot right now! We just need to be patient with her and be there for—"

"Have you seen what's happening out there?!" Haruka roared, gesturing to the wide world. "Do you have any idea what those Sentinels are doing? Not just to Spirits, mind you, but to people as well!"

"Not to mention all the negative effects this light is having," Michiru added. "It doesn't take a genius to see how plants, animals, people...the weather itself is affected. Hasn't anyone noticed it hasn't rained at all in the past few days? I don't mean in a few spots here and there: I mean in the world. There hasn't been a cloud in the sky for a week at least. What do you think that will do to the vegetation? To the earth itself?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But nothing," Haruka muttered, turning her back on them. "If you wanna listen to some ghostly vision's lies, then do it on your own time. The world doesn't have that luxury anymore. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm gonna put a stop to this." She snorted and added under her breath, "I knew we shouldn't have gotten mixed up with you."

"Haruka." Makoto reached for her as she marched off. The older woman wheeled around, arms crossed, eyes blazed in righteous fury. Her silent stare was filled with equal parts respect for Makoto, and determination for her quest. Makoto softened as she realized there'd be no talking her out of this. "Be safe, okay? We'll keep in touch if anything happens."

"I doubt it," she grumbled. She cast one last rueful glare at Usagi before assimilating into the crowd, Michiru following shortly. Setsuna moved to follow them, but stayed behind for a few parting words.

"My place is with them. I will not advise you on what to do, Avatar, nor tell you what sort of future awaits your decision, if you should commit to one." She smiled softly, the cold melting into a humane visage, and she placed a comforting hand on Usagi's shoulder. "But I have faith in you. Perhaps this is one last crucible you must endure before you are strong enough for the task at hand. Take what time you need, my friend." And with that, she tussled Usagi's hair, chuckling politely before joining her companions. Minako sighed as she tried combing out what the older woman had wrought.

"You'd think they've never had a crisis of conscience before. Anyway, you know we're all here for you, Usagi. Just say the word and we'll do whatever you n—"

"Actually, could I have some time alone, please?" Her friends gave a start, looking at her strangely. She hesitated to say what needed to be said. "Mamoru, you should return to Ba Sing Se. The rest of you should check in with your families. I'd like to...figure all this out on my own, if that's okay." The girls began to protest, but Mamoru held them back. He shook his head, then faced Usagi, bowing deeply.

"As you wish, my lady. May you find the answers you seek, and solace within them. I take my leave of you." He then walked off, much to the others' frustration.

"Wait, you're just going to—"

"Yes. You heard her. This is something only Usagi can figure out. We'll just be in the way." None of them liked that idea, especially since they still remembered what had happened the last time Usagi went off on her own. One by one, however, they understood the wisdom in Mamoru's words, and each went off to her own pursuits. Rei was the last to part.

"You know," she said, taking a deep breath, "before I met you, I was struggling with my own personal quandaries. I asked myself: what's my destiny? What are my duties? Do I have any personal desires of my own? Is what I want to do in accordance to what I must do? I even felt guilty over wanting something outside of my duties, as if it were a bad thing to seek beyond those boundaries. Ever since that attack on the tournament, though, I've come to realize that they're not as independent of each other as I thought. That...what I want to do can also be what I need to do, and...it's not wrong to have desires outside of one's duties. I know this has nothing to do with your predicament; I just wanted you to know that.

"I've never had friends before I met you, Usagi. I was never able to act like...a normal girl before. I was always Priestess Rei, the Hikawa Shrine maiden. I could never get angry, or upset, or act silly, or...go to the beach and ogle guys, or eat spicy food and breathe fire. I don't know what I'm getting at; I guess the point is that you've changed me for the better; you've changed my way of thinking for the better. You've given me a destiny I embrace...and most importantly, you've given me a sisterhood. I'll return to Hikawa shrine if that's what you think is best, but if you ask me, you're as much my family as my grandfather is."

Rei embraced her, quickly kissing her cheek before parting. So Usagi got what she wanted, and now she was all by herself.

She felt something fuzzy brush against her leg, and smiled feebly as she picked Luna off the ground, giving her a cuddle. Well, almost by herself.

…...

Meanwhile the world as a whole felt its agonies magnified, much like birth pangs, increasing in frequency and severity, in preparation for a final push that would usher in a spectacle so grandiose that to call it apocalyptic would not be an exaggeration. Whether this was caused by Iblis and his quest to banish the darkness, or were shockwaves caused by the reemergence (and, possibly, subsequent dissolution) of Apsu—or even if they were merely repercussions of the long years of strife that only recently came to an end—thing were, put plainly, getting worse.

The ghouls were no longer exclusive to the Southern Water Tribes. Whether by migration, chance, or some other means, they had made it to the northern pole of the world. Saeko Mizuno returned from her well-earned hiatus just in time to help fight them off; hundreds of her people were wounded, dying, some already beyond her help. Benders and warriors were dwindling; Chief Oomari had been confined to a medical yurt following an injury. Saeko organized the remaining forces and held off the ghouls, but their thirst for blood was insatiable. They had already consumed most of the tribe's fish and livestock, endangering them to long weeks and months of starvation, and were turning their focus on humans.

Over in the desert surrounding Wan Shi Tong's library, the greatest haven of knowledge in the world was under attack. Vicious creatures had emerged from the sand, spirits or monsters or unnamed horrors from ancient times, assuming the form of gigantic scorpions, and were surrounding the library, swarms of them. Wan Shi Tong was disturbed from his studies by the click-clack of needlepoint legs, the scrape-scratch of pincers, and the relentless pounding of stingers. Enraged, he burst out the main entrance and confronted the horrors, blowing them away with a single flap of his wings. His beak thrust out, snapping one to pieces; his talons grasped two and crushed them like dry leaves. But they were many, and he was one, and during the fight he felt their sting, and the weight of his long life began to float away from him.

Reika Nishimura and the crew of the Scum Bucket found themselves heeding the call to return to Omashu much sooner than expected. Motoki was making a vital tour of the Swamplands, where rumors of bog creatures were not only spreading but becoming an unsettling reality. Captain Scum's crew seemed tailor-made for handling such filthy work, and took to it with all the zeal of their namesake—but that left Omashu itself relatively exposed, with only Unazuki and a handful of Tellurians to protect it. The usual bands of dissents, marauders, and leftovers from Beryl's regimes were dispatched easily, but when they were replaced by horrors the likes of which Beryl herself might flee from, the situation became much more bleak.

One couldn't easily describe them. They seemed to be spirits, but were the dregs of nightmares and torture. From the waist up they resembles gangly, sickly women with long, stringy black hair, sunken black eyes, and a mouth full of knives—but they had long wings like bats, and worse still, their torsos seemed to have been ripped off, leaving nothing but entrails dangling. When bone-chilling terror failed to drive their enemies away, nasty hands with nails like sickles ripped them apart; the dead and injured were pounced upon, injected with a long tubular tongue, and drained of substance until only husks remained. There was no record of these creatures in any memory or archive, not even a name or a rumor to attach to. They could be killed, at least, but not easily, and they were so abominable to behold that few could contest them. Three times Unazuki led an assault of Tellurians, artillery, and benders against them; three times she beat them back, but at great cost.

This was just a sample of what troubled the world. No country was safe, no city or village exempt from danger—but even as the light contested the dark, the world's balance teetered on collapse, and all things seemed to be converging into a singularity of madness, heroes still rose up. The ghouls infesting the Northern Water Tribe were nearly on the verge of overwhelming that civilization when a small ship came hurtling into the docks, crewed by six ladies and one young man. Great surges of water shot out to wash the ghouls away; plumes of fire sent them scrambling; torrential gusts repulsed them; great stony slabs shot out, battering the creatures; enchanted arrows and magical swords shone in the blinding northern sun, cleaving their numbers; one of the young women was dispatching ghouls with her bare hands, the slightest touch causing them to seize up and fall. In the midst of battle, Saeko Mizuno was introduced to Suen and her companions, welcoming them with great relief. In no time the reinforcements beat back the ghouls and freed the North from their mindless onslaught.

As Wan Shi Tong struggled to stand, surrounded by the giant scorpions, the last thing he expected was for the surrounding desert to take up arms and fight his enemies. Huge pillars of sand sprang up out of nowhere, shaping into massive hands, smashing the creatures and clearing a path. A furious squall picked up, lifting the scorpions into the sky, where they were blasted by fireballs, and a burst of water drawn from a nearby underwater spring swept the rest away. The two scorpions still somehow clinging to his body were violently knocked back by a young man wielding a staff; he flitted around their attacks with the grace of a squirrel-ape and crushed their horrible bodies. Wan Shi Tong was helped up, and hooted an exhausted thanks to his saviors. His heart lightened as he recognized two of them as former patrons of his library, an enthusiastic girl from the Swamplands and a soft-spoken young man from the Si Wong. The others bowed to him, introducing themselves as Wheeler, Ma-Ti, and Linka. Wan Shi Tong bowed back, proclaiming that he was in their debt. They all assured him that debts weren't necessary: they were just doing the right thing.

The fourth wave of the nightmarish half-women was the worst. The bulk of their forces seemed to be out in full force, and despite Unazuki's bravery and the strength of her people, they were being overwhelmed. The princess herself suddenly fell in battle and was set upon by one of the monsters, its tongue slathering as it screeched. She fought back, but the creature pinned her wrists to the ground, howling in victory as it lunged for her. Unazuki braced herself for the end, but was suddenly freed as a massive object hoisted the creature away from her and hurled it into the air, where it was doused in fire and arrows. She found herself plucked up by a young man—a boy, really, smiling gaily as he straddled an enormous tiger-boar. A small perimeter of boars formed around the princess, each bearing a warrior dressed in the style of the Fire Nation: one with a spear, another with a war hammer, another with a curved blade, one who bent fire with a mastery she had seldom witnessed before, two riding a boar in tandem, and one with a bow, whom she recognized. The archer picked off several of the half-women creatures before guiding her mount over to Unazuki. There, the Princess of the Southern Earth Kingdom bowed, as she was in the presence of an equal.

"Princess Kotono, I thank you. Omashu owes you a debt."

"Actually, we're the ones paying you back, Princess Unazuki," she replied with a smile. "That banquet we had at your brother's wedding was the stuff of legends." Sensing trouble, she quickly whirled around in her saddle, perforating another half-woman before resuming her chat. "What say we join forces and extend some 'diplomatic courtesy' to your guests?" A grin slowly spread across Unazuki's face, and she brandished her weapon proudly.

"It would be my pleasure!"

Thus is the way of the universe: when balance is in danger, it responds in kind, issuing heroes to fight back the evil. But greater threats require greater acts of heroism, and the greatest darkness invites its counterparts. No sooner did Saeko and Suen get a chance to breathe did the alarm sound again—not for ghouls, but for ice giants, six of them. Saeko trembled at the thought of fighting just one of those monstrosities, but six? Even with Suen's friends and the knowledge of how to destroy them, the odds seemed insurmountable. The universe answered by ripping apart the heavens, blasting an enormous pillar of light onto the giants, issuing out the Lightbringers. The two sides clashed in horrific slaughter until only one remained—then they turned their attention to the remnants of the Northern Water Tribe.

"What the heck is that?!" Wheeler exclaimed, as beams of light ripped the scorpions apart. The five heroes shielded their faces as their enemies fell before them; only Wan Shi Tong looked on as one danger was replaced with another.

"Get back!" Oboro shouted, as columns of white-hot energy struck the demonic half-women down. None of them were spared; the Lightbringers were indiscriminate and merciless. The sudden removal of this nightmarish danger seemed trivial compared to what laid in store for the survivors now, with the battlefield taken over by these Sentinels. Ittou curled his fists while Kotono carefully held her bow at the ready. Nobody dared move.

…...

Usagi tied her hair up as the wind blew past. So far all she had done was walk, aimlessly, through crowds and empty streets, over bridges and cobbled roads, across grass or small creeks or dirt paths. She didn't want to just clear her mind, she wanted it empty, void, unapologetically neutral. She no longer wished to weigh Right and Wrong, Good and Evil, Balance or Chaos, Duty or Desire: she just wished to be without meaning, to exist without goal, to move without destination. She didn't want to wrestle with the challenges that had invaded her life, didn't want to think about what she should or shouldn't do: just movement, walking, to nowhere, anywhere.

It was hot. There were no clouds, and very little shade, even underneath the largest awnings. People were carrying around parasols, wearing wide-brimmed hats, ducking into large shops that clung stubbornly to what few shadows were left. Refuge was diminishing; soon there'd be no safe haven left from the light. People would lose sleep, shrivel up, go blind. Usagi wondered if they were really going to benefit from any of this, or whether they were needlessly suffering—but no, she wanted to be lost, she wanted to wander, to blend in and disappear. Someone came up to her, running, asking her what was going on, if there was anything she could do about it. You're the Avatar, for crying out loud; there must be something! But Usagi wasn't so sure. It was less a question of if she could, but if she should. Maybe that's why Haruka left, because she hated the indecisive uncertainty, the ambiguous ambivalence, the unyielding neutrality, a Means Between the Extremes gone wrong—a perverted balance.

A perverted balance. That was something to think about. Do neither this nor that, but nothing. Inaction. But something must be done. This couldn't go on. She found herself walking into a shop that sold very good mirrors, and spotted one that reflected the entirety of her body. From head to toe, the Avatar stared back at her, weary and uncertain, offering no answers, only silence. She touched the mirror, putting her fingerprints on it. The shopkeeper was upset at first, but soon recognized her for who she was. He didn't mind if the Avatar touched his mirrors: in fact, he considered it an honor. He didn't bother to wipe the smudge off and asked if there was anything she needed.

"No," she answered, smiling emptily, "just looking."

The mirror offered no answer as she glanced at it one last time.

Food was always a venue of solace in times like this, but even though she hadn't eaten since breakfast, the stress of her situation prevented Usagi from building up much of an appetite. Even forcing a few orange slices down her throat was bloating. She ended up giving the rest to some kids and found a few treats for Luna instead. The little black cat had offered minimal input during the journey, trotting along whenever Usagi walked and curling up into a contented coil whenever she stopped. Usagi petted and scratched her at times, but otherwise paid her companion little attention. She just wanted to meander, to leave the world in all but body, to have a kind of mental silence. Eventually she sat down at a picnic table, Luna climbing up and pacing around so she could be caressed more easily. Usagi idly stroked her fur, content to do nothing else, and only paused when Luna's ears twitched. The cat rose to her feet, looking up, her tail swaying curiously. Usagi followed her lead and saw a messenger-hawk circling down. She gave a little start as the bird landed on the table, scaring Luna away with a croak. Attached to its leg was a letter, which she cautiously removed. Given the reputation messenger-hawks had, it was no surprise the letter was addressed to her.

My dear Usagi,

I hope this message finds you safe, well, and hopefully happy. Your mother and I have decided to take a little break from our jobs and are embarking on a pleasure tour. We've decided to explore the eastern archipelago of the Fire Nation, so we've been making our way through the Serpent's Pass and the Great Divide before we reach Hei Bai's forest. We know you're busy with Avatar business, but if you could manage to find some time in your schedule to meet up with us, it would mean the world to your mother and I. We should be approaching Port Dai Zong by the time this hawk reaches you. If you're unable to make it, we understand. You definitely have a lot more important things to worry about right now. Regardless, we're proud of you, and we miss you. Give our love to your friends.

But most of all, our love goes to you,

Dad

She wiped a tear away and got back to walking. Whether by chance, serendipity, or fate, her travels had delivered her into the aforementioned port, so with any luck, she'd find her family. A few interrogations later and she was able to narrow her search to a hotel. She ran until she could hold them again, and couldn't stop hugging, crying, and kissing for anything.

Well, almost anything: Shingo was with them as well.

"You didn't say he was with you in your letter," she grumbled.

"Well, I wrote that before we...ah, picked him up," Shinji said.

"I thought you sent him to school in Ba Sing Se."

"Oh, we did," Ikuko said. "It's just that...well, with everything that's been going on, we felt it was safer if...well, maybe I should say that we felt it would be better if..."

"We were together," her husband concluded. Usagi sighed. Her brother had his arms crossed, looking away, petulant as ever. She wanted to be more upset, but Usagi couldn't muster up the energy for it. It no longer seemed to matter if Shingo was there to pester her. Ikuko smoothed things over as only a mother could, clapping her hands blithely.

"Well! Now that we're all here, let's get something to eat! You can tell us all about what's been going on in your life."

"Yeah," Usagi murmured, preferring to avoid that subject. It was still too...overwhelming.

…...

Usagi still had no appetite, or rather no desire to eat, but she went through the motions anyway, because the meal was free and it was with her family, and because she knew she'd need to keep her strength up for whatever lay ahead. She declined to answer most of their questions, quickly giving off the impression that whatever was on her mind was too difficult to speak of. Her friends were of good health and cheer; Mamoru was well, for a king beleaguered with problems; Naru and Umino were happy, and Luna, as they noticed, was the same as always.

"At least you're taking care of her," Shingo grumbled as he scratched the cat's chin. "I was worried you'd forget about her again."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Usagi murmured genuinely. "I've had a lot going on lately."

"I can imagine," Ikuko said. "Everything's becoming crazy. Some people are saying that the world is coming to—" Her husband stopped her, suggesting that maybe Usagi didn't need to be reminded, and might prefer to hear about something more pleasant. He then dived into an account of everything he and his wife had been doing over the last year: the countries they had visited, the people they had met, the history they had recorded, from the mouths of kings to the grumblings of farmers. He spoke of the dissolution between the Northern Air nomads and the Earth Kingdom, of the Spirit Terror in Patola, of Motoki and Mamoru liberating the Eastern Air nomads from pirates. He almost mentioned the assassination of General Orrumus, but checked himself, remembering that his daughter had been there in person—and this was a subject she may not want reenacted. He moved on to talk about ice giants in the north, of the wedding between Motoki and Makoto, of the grand meeting Mamoru held with the leaders of the world, the hunt for Mishkin and his subsequent trial, and finally, their adventures across the continent to Port Dai Zong. Usagi listened to it all without saying a word, and felt her spirits lift. She envied how content her parents seemed to be; she didn't know that every positive encounter had five tribulations yoked to it.

Kenji and Ikuko bought dessert for their children and said that they needed to take care of a few errands in town, mostly shopping and securing passage on a ship. It would take at least two hours, and since they felt their children would be better entertained without them, they left them to "catch up" with each other. Shingo appreciated being left out of "the boring stuff" but not when it meant being alone with his sister. They headed towards a small park on the edge of town where Shingo paced around restlessly, and Usagi just sat. Usagi was in no mood to talk and Shingo really didn't have much to say.

Well, except for one subject, and it was the most painful. Naturally.

"So I guess you've noticed that the days are getting longer, and all the shadows are going away." She made no response, not even to nod. He frowned. "So isn't that something you should be looking into?"

"I know why it's happening," she murmured. His brow knotted in frustration.

"So then why don't you do something about it?"

"It's not that simple," she retorted firmly. He just snorted.

"Why not? Aren't you supposed to be the Avatar?" She hesitated.

"It...it's not that simple," she repeated. He advanced, glaring.

"So explain it to me! Or do you think I'm too stupid to understand?!"

"Shingo, even I don't understand it," she replied. He snorted and turned his back to her.

"It just sounds like you're being lazy again. You've always been that way." Incensed, Usagi bolted to her feet.

"You have no idea what I've been through, Shingo! You have no right to say that I—"

"Then why aren't you doing anything? Why are you just wandering around in a daze? Where are your friends? Have they abandoned you? Are you just giving up? That's what you've done all your life whenever things got too hard, you just gave—"

"Shingo, shut up, you have no idea..." Before either of them could get too heated, a heavy shadow fell across them, the only darkness in a world almost overtaken by the light. The siblings turned in unison, seeing the last person they ever expected, profiled against the sun.

"Hotaru!" The Death-Bender smiled and bowed a little.

"Hello, Avatar. It's been awhile. Tell me: would you like to know where Iblis is?"

The End of "Drifter"

Next time: "The Path of the Master"