CHAPTER 24

*****JACOB POV*****

THE SOUND OF BELLA screaming my name in terror jolted me awake. She was still asleep beside me, thrashing and crying out, caught in the grip of a horrible nightmare. I wrapped my arms around her to comfort her, but she started struggling and trying to get away from me.

"Bella, it's me… it's Jacob. Wake up baby, you're having a bad dream. Everything's okay, you're safe."

I soothed her with my voice while I tried to hold onto her without hurting her. After a few moments, the sound of my voice finally reached her, and she stopped struggling. She looked at me for a moment, whimpered my name, then turned into me. Quiet sobs shook her shoulders as she pressed her face against my chest and clung to my shirt.

"What's going on, Jake?" Emily asked from the door, concern on her sleepy face.

"Don't leave me Jake. You can never leave." Bella cried softly into my chest, her words muffled and tight.

I stroked her hair and held her close. "I'm right here Bella. I won't leave you. Shhhh… baby everything's okay."

She finally calmed, but still had a death grip on my shirt.

"She had a bad dream," I said to Emily, keeping my voice soothing and quiet. "Sorry she woke you. She used to have nightmares all the time, but as far as I know she hasn't had one since we've been together."

"No reason to apologize. I'm just glad everything's okay. Let me know if you need anything."

I nodded and continued to speak gently to Bella as Emily left to go back to bed.

Bella's grip on my shirt slowly loosened as her body relaxed. I don't think she ever fully woke up and after another few minutes she was sound asleep again. I just held her firmly against me and continued stroking her hair, certain I wasn't going to get back to sleep anytime soon.

The room slowly lightened, and I watched the shadows fade as the soft gray light of early dawn seeped in through the windows. I kept Bella pulled close to me, and the color of the increasing light stayed gray, suggesting heavy cloud cover. After a while, a gentle rain started to fall and the pitter-patter sound on the roof soothed me until I finally drifted back to sleep.

*****BELLA POV*****

NESTLED AGAINST JAKE'S side, I slowly blinked my eyes opened to find him still asleep. Even though it was raining, the light in the room indicated it was later in the morning than he usually slept, and I wondered why. Then I remembered the nightmare… had that kept him up? I tried to remember what the dream had been about and wasn't able to recall any details. The feelings it had produced washed over me though, and the immense sadness of loss return, knowing it was Jacob that I had lost in the dream. The tears threatened to return, and I tried to pull myself closer to him.

"Bella?" Jake asked, his voice heavy with sleep, then he tightened his arms around me, sensing my sadness. "I'm right here baby," he mumbled, not fully awake yet. "Did you have another bad dream?"

"No," I whispered, calming at his voice as he rubbed my arm gently. "The memory of the one from earlier just came back. Sorry I woke you."

"It's alright honey. I'm sorry you had a nightmare. Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I would, but all I can remember is how it made me feel… like I had lost you.

"Well, you didn't lose me… I'm right here."

I knew he was safe in my arms for now, but I couldn't shake a feeling of foreboding the dream also left me with. We were quiet for a while and Jake just held me, rubbing my arm and my back gently. Suddenly Jake's stomach growled loudly, interrupting the quiet, and we busted out laughing, the mood instantly brightening.

"Maybe we should see about getting you some food," I said with a grin, the feelings from the nightmare fading away.

Jake scooped me up and carried me out to the kitchen. Emily wasn't there, but there was a plate of muffins on the table with a note.

Jake & Bella,

I had to go into town to run some errands. Help yourself to

the muffins or anything else you want to fix. And don't forget

to take your medicine Bella; I left it out on the table for you.

I'll be back before lunch.

Love,

Emily

Jake grabbed a muffin and shoved the whole thing in his mouth, crumbs falling on me where I was still cradled in his arms.

"That's nice, ya big slob," I exclaimed with feigned disgust as I brushed the crumbs off my shirt, trying to hide my smile. "That's super attractive."

"Gib me kiff," he mumbled around the mouthful of muffin then leaned his head closer and tried to pucker his lips at me.

"No way! Gross!" I turned my head and pushed his face away, unable to stifle my laugh, and nearly got a shower of muffin in my face when Jake laughed too. He managed to swallow the muffin and recovered quickly.

"Those muffins aren't going to be enough for me."

"No surprise there!"

Still carrying me, he went to the fridge. He shifted me so he was cradling me in one arm to allow him to get out the eggs and some sausage, dumping them on top of me and giving me a playful smirk.

"Hey!" I looked at him in disbelief but smiled in spite of myself. "You could have set me down. I think I can handle walking from one end of the kitchen to the other."

"Too risky," he said shaking his head, trying to look more serious and failing.

He crossed the kitchen and set the eggs and sausage on the counter by the stove before setting me on my feet. Moving the skillet that was on the stovetop to the front burner he turned it on.

"Have you ever cooked eggs or sausage before?" I asked doubtfully.

"No, but it can't be that hard."

"Well, it's not hard, but you might not want the burner on high." I turned the temperature down. "You'll for sure burn something doing that. Maybe I should do it… I can show you, and you can do it next time."

"Teach me oh wise Guru of the Kitchen." He handed me the spatula and I rolled my eyes at him then went to work.

Knowing Jake's massive appetite, I cracked half a dozen eggs into the large skillet and added the same number of big sausage links. It felt good to be doing something productive after laying around and being waited on for so many days. Jake stayed close behind me, watching as I worked and gave him some instructions. Before long, however, he started slowly brushing his fingers along my neck and had completely stopped paying attention to his cooking lesson. My breath caught in my throat, and I shivered as he pushed my hair back and gently kissed down the length of my neck.

"It's not good to distract the cook," I said breathlessly, turning the burner off and moving the skillet away. I leaned my head back and laid it against his shoulder, closing my eyes. He kissed his way back up to my ear, his hands sliding across my belly—every kiss, every touch, slow and drawn out almost to the point of torture. He captured my up-turned lips with his and I could taste the sweet muffin on his breath. Kissing me tenderly, he caressed my exposed neck, one hand still on my stomach, and I began trembling.

Jake turned me around to face him and gently lifted me up to sit on the counter, returning his lips to mine for a moment before slowly kissing across my jaw and down my neck again, then started across my collar bone. My head was tipped back, my fingers tangled in his hair, and my casted left arm resting on his shoulder. Gripping my hips, his lips drifted a little lower on my chest, making me practically mad with new sensations, trembling and breathless.

Awareness slowly dawned on me that we were pushing the boundaries we had set for ourselves. Not to mention I was still injured.

"Jake," I whispered, gently trying to pull his head back. "Hold on baby," I continued weakly, "we need to take a breather." He groaned his disapproval, brought his lips back to mine, and pulled me by my hips closer to him. I whimpered, unable to resist.

The intensity of his kiss slowly began to lessen, and it wasn't too much longer before he finally relented. When he pulled back, he gazed at me with love and desire burning in his eyes, then took in a long, uneven breath and rested his forehead against mine.

"Sorry Bella. Sometimes it just becomes too much," he said quietly.

"I know, it's okay. That's why we agreed together, so we could both take responsibility for keeping it in check."

Being so close to me all of the time had to be hard on him, especially with his heightened senses. I was actually extremely impressed with his self-control and appreciated him for it.

After a few more moments with our brows pressed together, his stomach growled again, and we grinned at each other. He stood up straighter and looked over at the skillet. "Is the food ruined?"

I looked too. "Actually, it looks good. It might be a little cold now, but it's cooked."

Grabbing a plate, I took an egg and a piece of sausage, and he took the rest. He helped me off the counter and we sat at the table to eat. As I was picking at the last of a muffin, I was looking at Jake and noticed again that his hair was longer. Reaching up I ran my fingers through it then started toying with the silky strands.

"Are you letting your hair grow back out?"

"Yeah, at least a little. I could tell you were sad when I cut it off, so I figured you liked it better long."

I smiled at him gently. "I don't know if I necessarily liked it better, but you have beautiful hair, and I did love it long. Why did you cut it off in the first place?"

"The length of our hair determines the length of our wolf coats, so we can't have it too long. I don't mind if my wolf coat is a little shaggy though."

"Oh wow… I guess that makes sense. You don't have to grow it out for me if it's inconvenient for you. I'm used to your short hair now and you're gorgeous either way."

He blushed a little at the compliment. "Well, I'll let it grow for now, since I won't be phasing for a while anyway."

He suddenly got up and plucked me out of my chair. "Let's move to the couch. I don't want you to get irritated sitting on that hard chair."

"But the mess…"

He paused, assessing the small mess we'd made, then grabbed the eggs and sausage, stuck them back in the fridge, and headed toward the living room. "Everything else can wait for a little while."

We got settled on the couch, a pillow in his lap for my back to lay across and my head cradled in his arm.

"So, we didn't get a chance to talk last night since you crashed on the way home," he said. "What did you think?"

"Oh my gosh Jake, it was so amazing. I feel honored to have been allowed to be a part and hear the legends. Thanks for making sure I could make it."

He smiled wide, obviously pleased at my response. "I'm glad you liked it so much. It seemed like you really got into the stories. You and Angela are actually the first 'outsiders' to ever hear them."

My eyes got big. "Really? Why? I mean, I know Angela is an imprint, but why was I allowed?"

"My dad, Sam, and I wanted you there and Sue and Old Quil agreed. No one really considers you an outsider anymore anyway and you're as much a part of it all as anyone."

"There may be one person who wouldn't agree with that," I said sadly.

"Well, Leah is definitely the only one. Don't pay any attention to her. She's just going to have to deal with it."

"I know. I actually just feel sad for her. She's dealing with a lot of pain and anger, and probably embarrassed and frustrated that you all know all of her issues and she can't escape them. Plus, she's the only girl. It can't be an easy situation for her."

"You're much more generous and forgiving than I am. It still makes my blood boil at the way she spoke to you last night."

"You're right, she shouldn't have spoken to me that way, but you should really try to let it go, Jake. I think kindness will go further in helping her move past everything than getting mad and being harsh to her."

"Hmph. Well, that will be a challenge, but I'll try. She's not the easiest person to have inside your head though." He waved his hand in the air dismissively. "I don't want to spend our time discussing Leah. So, do you have any questions about any of the stories?"

"Actually, I do. Well, I guess the first one is more of a 'When were you going to tell me?'—the fact that you aren't aging anymore." A little irritation came into my voice. "That was a little shocking. I mean, we're the same age for now, but I'm just going to continue to age more while you stay the same." I got a little more irritated as I spoke, thinking about that fact.

"Are you seriously worried about that?" he asked in surprise then shook his head. "I don't know what your big hang up is about age, but have you actually looked at me lately? Do I look like an 18-year-old to you anymore?"

His question took me by surprise, but I studied his face and thought back to his crazy growth spurt, when it felt like I could see him growing right before my eyes. I remembered the way he had shot up practically overnight and then his long gangly body had filled out with those strong lean muscles, his movements becoming so fluid and graceful after his transformation. I looked at his hand resting on my stomach, and his forearm, and traced over the veins and muscles. They definitely looked more like the hand and arm of a man.

I looked back at his face again… that's where I had the trouble. I just saw Jacob, my best friend. But if I really tried to examine it with new eyes, he was right, he did not look 18 anymore. All the boyish roundness was gone. His face was lean and chiseled, his jaw strong, his deep-set eyes seemed to even hold more wisdom. It made my heart do a little dance in my chest at the raw masculinity of him. He gave me a crooked grin and raised an eyebrow at me, hearing the change in my heart rate and my face heated; finding it odd that I hadn't really noticed sooner just how much more mature he looked.

"I guess I hadn't stopped to think about that too much," I said and realized my voice was a little breathy too and I looked away from him as the heat in my face spread to my ears and neck.

He chuckled lightly. "Right before and right after our transformation we grow to full maturity in a matter of months. I have the body of a 25-year-old or something around there. I may have only been alive for 18 years, but I'm not an 18-year-old anymore. I think it's the only reason I'm able to control myself around you to be quite honest… although I obviously still struggle sometimes. It actually creeped out some of the nurses in the hospital because I look so much older than you. It will be like 7 years before you catch up to me and we look about the same age.

"And once I decide to stop phasing for good, I'll start aging again. I have no intention of outliving you like that honey." He stroked my face. "I hope to grow old with you and live as normal a life as possible." He kissed my forehead and I leaned into his shoulder more.

"You said that was the first thing. Was there something else you were wondering about?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure how to ask it. It's more of a feeling really... about Ephraim Black. A feeling that there was something about him that somehow affected me, but I haven't been able to put my finger on why I feel that way. He was the Alpha of the last wolf pack and the Chief of the Quileutes, right?"

"Yeah, and he was also my great-grandfather."

Jake said that like it was significant and should answer my question, looking at me expectantly, but I looked back at him with a blank expression.

When he saw I wasn't getting it, he explained. "The role of Chief and Alpha are passed down through bloodlines. We don't have Chiefs anymore—Ephraim was the last one—we just have the Council of Elders now, but my dad, as the Lead Elder, is the closest thing we have to a chief now, and someday that will fall to me. Likewise, by blood, I should be the Alpha."

"Really?!" My eyes widened in complete surprise, then I grinned. "Chief Jacob, huh? So why aren't you the Alpha then?"

"I didn't want to be in a pack, let alone be its leader. Sam is much more suited to that role anyway, so I relinquished my claim and let him continue to be the Alpha. He made me his Second though, so if anything were to happen to him then I would take over, even if just temporarily."

My mind was spinning with this new information. Suddenly I remembered the feeling I had the night before with Emily, the burden for the pack that we shared. Did I feel it because I was with the true Alpha? I wasn't his imprint though, or even his wife, and he had given up that role. It still seemed strange, though it made a little more sense than before.

"Wow, that's crazy Jake… I had no idea. That's why the relationship between you and Sam seems stronger than the others, I guess. Do you ever regret the decision to not be Alpha?"

"Only once… when Sam ordered me not to tell you about the wolf thing. That was the hardest time for me since my transformation, not being able to tell you what had happened. No other regrets though. We have a good relationship and he's a good leader. Sam and I talk over a lot of the decisions he makes when we can.

"Was there anything else that you had questions about?"

I thought back over the stories. I decided not to mention anything about the third wife since that wasn't really a question, just a connection I felt with her since I was like her, no magic.

"No, I think that was everything," I said. "You know we really should clean up the kitchen. I don't want to leave a mess for Emily to have to clean up. I can handle standing at the sink for a few minutes just to do those dishes."

Jake studied me for a moment, obviously struggling with the decision of if he should let me. "Alright," he said finally, "but then you're going to just relax for the rest of the day." Jake picked me back up and carried me to the kitchen again.

Setting me down, he gathered all the dishes and I just moved with him while he got everything in the sink. I washed and he stood next to me to rinse and place the dishes in the drying rack.

When we were done, Jake got me settled on the bed and went to take a shower, instructing me to rest. I had taken a pain pill with breakfast, and wasn't feeling too bad, so I decided to at least get dressed. I quickly discovered it was much harder to do without Emily's help. I was already half naked though, so I pressed through and finished, but it took me longer than I ever thought it would. Once I had accomplished dressing, I laid on the bed to recover from the effort, and that's when Jake came back in the room. He gave me a disapproving look when he saw I was dressed.

"Bella, you're going to hurt yourself if you aren't more careful!" He sighed and shook his head. "I shouldn't have let you cook and clean this morning… it's made you think you can do more than you should. I'm not sure you realize how bad your injuries are. Have you actually seen them?"

I shook my head. "No, I haven't looked." I wanted to argue with him, but the strong discomfort in my body gave credit to his words.

"Well, I think maybe it will help you to see, since you don't have the constant pain to remind you. I don't want you to hurt yourself more or cause yourself more pain by trying to do too much."

He carried me to the bathroom and set me down with my back to the mirror. He gently lifted my shirt and I looked over my shoulder at my side and back reflected in the mirror and gasped. All along the ribs on my left side and wrapping around to my spine, from my shoulder blade to my waist, it was deep purple, so dark in places it almost looked black. There was almost no yellow coloring yet that would indicate more healing. I got a sick feeling in my stomach at the sight, and I quickly turned away into Jacob's chest.

He pulled my shirt back down and wrapped his arms around me, gently holding my head against him.

"I'm sorry if that upset you, but you needed to understand how much healing you have to do. And that's just on the surface. Doc says the bone bruises will be the most painful and take the longest to heal. You need to be patient and just accept your limitations for now."

I sighed and then looked up at him. "I really had not imagined it was that bad. I will try to remember and do my best to be more careful."

He leaned down to kiss me, just one short tender kiss, then carried me back to the bedroom. We laid down together, me snuggled up against his side, and I dozed for the next hour or so.

When Emily returned home, I was ready to get up against, so we joined her in the kitchen to keep her company while she fixed lunch. She had picked up some new cushions to put in one of her kitchen chairs to make it more comfortable for me.

The whole pack was coming over for lunch today, so she had a lot to do. I wished I could help her, but she insisted she didn't want me to do anything that would further irritate my injuries.

"I know you've already done several things this morning," she said, motioning to the few dishes in the drying rack. "You don't want to overdo it, Bella. Your company is help enough. Trust me, it's enough just to have someone to visit with."

"And we just talked about this Bella," Jake sighed deeply in frustration, then he turned to Emily. "I had her actually look at the bruises this morning."

"I thought if just did something while sitting—" I started to argue.

"No!" Jake said more forcefully and then softened again at my shocked hurt look. "Honey, it's all connected. There's not a single movement you can make that doesn't involve your spine working. Why do you think the doc doesn't want you walking? You would be in a freaking wheelchair right now if it wasn't for me being with you all the time. Please stop fighting us on this. I know it's hard for you, but the doc would agree with us." He cupped my face in his big hand and gently made me look at him. "Please promise me. I couldn't stand it if you hurt yourself more while I'm supposed to be taking care of you."

He was right, so I finally conceded at the concerned pleading look on his face, and I promised I would listen to them and not argue anymore. I had spent way too many years of my life not depending on anyone else, it was just such a struggle for me. I had to, though, if I wanted to heal faster.

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