Chapter 13

The trip from Hoquiam to Neilton was wrought with problems and caused such a delay. Winter was the worst possible time to travel, especially in Western Washington where towns were so far from each other they may as well be in completely different states. Were it summer and it were just Lovejoy and his men, the trip from Hoquiam to Neilton would've taken two days at most. But with the cold of winter combined with Peter's pouting and having to go back to Hoquiam because they'd left undersupplied and on and on and on, just getting to Neilton wound up taking another month. By the time they reached Neilton, it was December and the people of this itty bitty blip of a town with no more than 130 people were preparing for Christmas. As luck would have it, Lovejoy and his men would be stuck in Neilton until the snow cleared a little. Halfway through the trip up to Neilton, it had begun to snow heavily, making the remainder of the trip difficult. By the time they arrived, the snow had reached to roughly two feet of snow with snowfalls ready to replace the snow that the townspeople had pushed aside.

"Figures they don't have any means of communication here," Mitchell said as they sat down for lunch at the post office. There was no café in town and there was also no Inn. They were advised to just eat at the post office. From then on, they'd eat at the chapel where they would have to stay.

"How long are we stuck here?" Harrison asked of Lovejoy.

"As long as we're stuck here," he answered frankly. "I don't want to hear any nonsense about not being home for Christmas. It'll come again next year."

"Our first Christmas as husband and wife, and she's somewhere out there cold and alone," Peter said to himself.

"I say he walks back," Harrison said. "He's slowed us down enough. Let's just give him a cart and send him back to Olympia?"

"I'm not leaving!" Peter blurted. "She's my wife and I will continue to look for her. One of us has to try and find her." Peter stared daggers at Lovejoy and his men, expressing with no subtlety his displeasure with their 'progress' thus far.

"If you think you can do better, Mr. Wallis, then you're more than welcome to while the rest of us go home,' Harrison bit back.

"That's enough," Lovejoy said before gulping down some whiskey.

"Permission to speak freely, sir," Mitchell requested. Lovejoy nodded his head and Mitchell took a deep breath before having his two cents. "I'm sick of his attitude," Mitchell pointed at Peter. "He's done nothing but whine and complain the whole investigation and he's done nothing to assist us. He's been less help to us than the damn horses. At least the horses are taking us from point A to point B."

"You listen here-!" Peter began.

"Quiet!" Lovejoy yelled, accompanied by a loud bang from his first on the table. The post office went dead silent for a moment. The gentleman manning to front desk stared at them before holding his head down and sorting through mail while Mitchell, Harrison and Peter became nervous. "Now, Mr. Wallis, based on your behavior, I'm inclined to agree with my subordinate. You've complained endlessly about how long it's taking to find your wife when, quite frankly, I never promised beyond a reasonable doubt we'd find her quickly. Matters this delicate take time. You're asking us to find a needle in a haystack, so you calm yourself and let us take as long as we need to find that needle. Frankly, had you not come along, we may have found her by now."

"I haven't done a thing to compromise your investigation!" Peter said. "I've stood back and let you do what you thought was best. For the 'interference' I've presented to you, I may as well be a piece of paper glued to your horse's ass!"

"Need I remind you of your little 'episodes' let's call them? Perhaps I need to remind you of that young boy you attacked back in Hoquiam."

"We were nearly kicked out of town for that," Mitchell said.

"No, we were nearly kicked out of town because you," Peter pointed at Sgt. Lovejoy, "insisted on searching through an Indian graveyard."

"Well your tantrum certainly didn't help the situation," Sgt. Lovejoy bit back.

"That boy made lewd comments about my wife."

"As young boys are known to do, especially drunk young boys. It's the natural order of things. Nearly killing the boy wouldn't take back his comment now would it?" Sgt. Lovejoy poured more whiskey into his glass. "Obviously we can't send him back," Lovejoy continued to Harrison and Mitchell. "Not alone at least."

"I'm not going back until we find her," Peter interjected. "Besides, even if I were to agree to go back, we can't even get out of town."

"The pig farmer has a point there," Harrison mumbled irritably.

"No sense in arguing about it now," Lovejoy said. "We're at least 88 miles away from Olympia. Even if it weren't snowing so badly outside, it wouldn't be right to send you on that long a walk on your own. Let's just use this time to relax. We'll be here a while. The closest town past here is a good 64 miles away. We'll be on the road a few days before we reach Forks."

"Perhaps someone here would be willing to lend us a sizable cart," Peter suggested. "Then we could stock up on all the supplies we could need and have decent shelter for the night during out travels."

"Already asked," Lovejoy said. "There are only two people in this town that have a cart: the postman and the General Store owner. It was made very clear to me that there would be no lending of either cart."

"For fuck sake," Harrison muttered. From there, the sentiments didn't improve. Everyone's disposition continued to cool much like the winter snow preventing them from going any further.

The morning after their passionate night, Jacob woke up to the smell of Renesmee's hair. They were on their sides under the blanket she'd made and she was firmly against Jacob's chest, her head resting on his bicep. He lifted his head so he could look at her. She was sleeping so peacefully and Jacob couldn't help but feel just a little proud of himself. His right arm was wrapped around her waist, so he gave her a gentle squeeze, though made sure not to wake her. Jacob stayed on his blanket with her until he heard a tap against the leather door of his tent.

"Jacob," Quil said through the door, the irritation in his voice palpable. Jacob took a deep breath and kissed the back of Renesmee's head. Moving her as gently as possible, Jacob got off the blanket and replaced the blanket on top of Renesmee before going to his leather door. He didn't bother putting any pants on. It was cold outside and he had no intention of actually stepping out of the tent. He only cracked the leather door open so the cold air wouldn't come pummeling in.

"What?"

"Don't you what me," Quil snapped back. Embry was right behind him, just as irritated. "Where were you last night? You have such a fit over us going out on patrol without you the other night and now here you are not coming out again?"

"I was preoccupied with something," Jacob answered back. Renesmee was under the covers, so Jacob moved aside enough so Quil and Embry could see what he meant. When they saw Renesmee, clearly undressed under the blanket, Quil blushed and walked away. Only Embry stayed behind.

"You know staying behind for sex is only allowed when you just got married right?"

"These circumstances allowed for an exception."

"Uh huh," Embry huffed a little. "Caevia will be very interested to find out about this."

"Go ahead and tell her," Jacob said, somewhat arrogantly. "She's the one who nagged me to make things right and I'd say I've done just that."

"I don't know if this was what she had in mind." Just because he knew Caevia would ask, Embry did his best to look into Jacob's tent and check if Renesmee's sleeping face revealed anything. She seemed peaceful, though. She was on Jacob's side of the tent where he had his blanket underneath the knitted blanket she'd made for Jacob. "She looks like she's sleeping well."

"She is. So go on back home and let the two of us sleep more. I don't disturb you when you're trying to sleep," Jacob teased more than anything, earning Embry's light chuckle before he walked away.

Jacob closed his leather door once Embry walked away and went right back to the blankets on the floor. He carefully crawled underneath the knitted blanket with Renesmee and did his best to hold her to him firmly like they'd been doing before they'd been disturbed. This time when Jacob began to move her, Renesmee twitched and turned until she was facing Jacob. She didn't open her eyes, but she began to stretch, indicating she was awake.

"Sorry to wake you," Jacob said, but Renesmee shook her head gently.

"I probably need to wake up anyway," she said. "Did you get back from patrol?"

"I didn't go," Jacob answered. Renesmee finally opened her eyes and looked up at him. "I stayed with you all night."

"Oh," she answered, blushing a little as she began to rub her face. "I thought you would've gone after I was asleep."

"No," he answered. He wasn't expecting her to be so matter of fact the morning after. "You don't regret what we did do you?" Jacob finally asked after a moment of silence. Renesmee looked at him and paused. The pause worried him until she smiled gently and took a hold of his hand.

"I don't," she finally said. "I already said I was tired of not letting myself love you. After last night, I feel like a big weight's been let off my shoulders." Jacob hugged Renesmee to him rather suddenly and Renesmee hugged him back after the initial surprise.

"I'm relieved to hear it," he said. He kissed her neck and then looked up at her with a smile. It was a smile that made her laugh just a little. "Let's stay in here for a while. Sokajili's probably still in bed anyway."

"No, I need to get up. I wanted to hunt before going to his tent. I haven't hunted in a while and I'm beginning to feel it."

"I'll go with you."

Renesmee took a moment to get dressed while Jacob didn't bother. He'd be shifting into a wolf once they were outside anyway. He shifted the moment he was outside and followed her into the woods where she stalked around for a lone deer. By the time she returned, a woman waved at Renesmee and yelled that Sokajili was looking for her, so she ran right to his tent, leaving Jacob alone. Aside from a young boy coming to Sokajili's tent with a small scratch that needed tending to, there wasn't much to do. The two stayed occupied most of the day with mixing healing herbs. Sokajili explained certain rituals that were common to perform and that she would need to perform, but since there was no wedding or death occurring, he wasn't really able to do more than explain them. During their usual morning together, Sokajili seemed as if he were smiling. It wasn't like Sokajili to grin so much.

"What has you in such a good mood?" Renesmee finally asked after he'd explained how the wedding ritual was performed.

"Your happiness has me happy is all."

"Aren't I usually in a good mood around you?"

"You're always pleasant, but this morning you seem to be glowing. I'm left to assume you and Jacob reconciled from your disagreement?" Renesmee started blushing and kept her eyes on the herbs she had in the stone mortar. Sokajili laughed. "Oh, don't blush. There's no shame in sex. It's a natural part of life and love."

"It's still private," Renesmee muttered a little.

"There's really no need to be embarrassed. We're family after all." Sokajili patted Renesmee's back and that was the end of that conversation.

When she left Sokajili's tent, she looked around for Jacob until she saw him sitting at the fire with Sara. The two seemed to be engrossed in a serious conversation. Jacob looked in Renesmee's direction and said a few things to Sara before standing from the fire and running to Renesmee.

"What were you and Sara talking about?"

"Nothing special," Jacob said. "I know we usually read in the afternoon, but how about we do something else?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"I was told you'd taken a walk along the beach the other day. I thought maybe we could go for a walk together."

"That sounds nice, actually." Jacob's genuine smile made Renesmee blush while he took a hold of her hand and guided her to the beach where they proceeded to walk together. Jacob kept his fingers laced through Renesmee's as they walked together. "What were you talking to your mother about?"

"She asked if you and I were still arguing and I told her we weren't."

"You didn't tell her we…." Renesmee couldn't finish.

"That we had sex? She knows." Renesmee's blush deepened. "I didn't tell her more than that," Jacob said with a chuckle. "You don't need to be embarrassed about it."

"It's a private matter is all," she said. Jacob chuckled and let go of Renesmee's hand only to grab her in a tight hug. Renesmee squeaked in surprise and looked up at Jacob while he laced his fingers through hers again.

"Why must pale faces be so secretive and humorless?"

"It's not a matter of being humorless. Sex is just a very personal matter and I don't think it's appropriate to advertise to the entire village that we slept together." Jacob looked at Renesmee and the serious and embarrassed look she had on her face. He finally smiled gently rather than in humor before he brought her hand to his lips so he could kiss it.

"I'll keep it between us from now on," he finally said. Renesmee finally smiled again.

"Thank you."

Jacob wrapped an arm around Renesmee's waist and they continued down the beach together. They didn't really talk about last night after that. Jacob just asked her questions about her family and her home before she came to Washington. She told Jacob about every place she'd lived. She showed him images of the homes she's lived in and the neighborhoods she used to frequent. She showed Jacob the school she'd attended when she was training to be a nurse when they'd lived in Boston and all the friends she'd had when she'd lived there. That had been at least thirty years ago. It had been the first time Renesmee had come even close to telling Jacob her age and he seemed unfazed by the fact that, or so she said, she was older than his mother.

"Does my age bother you?" Renesmee finally asked after telling Jacob that she remembered exactly where she'd been when she heard the news that Abraham Lincoln had been assassinated, revealing her age rather plainly, at least to her.

"Why should it bother me?"

"I'm just older," she said. "Your mother says I'm older than she is."

"You don't look it," Jacob said with a chuckle. "How old are you exactly?"

"I turned forty September 11th. I was born September 11th 1861, just five months after the Civil War began."

"I've only heard of the Civil War by name. Other than that, I know nothing about it."

"It started due to irreconcilable differences between the North and South, to put it as simply as possible. The North became a more industrial world with factories while the South remained rural with plantations and farms that thrived on the backs of African slaves. My Uncle Jasper fought on the side of the Confederacy, that being the South. He's originally from Texas and he was changed by a woman named Maria that wanted to create an army of newborn vampires." Jacob went rigid. "Don't worry. It calmed substantially when Jasper left her. I believe they had an intimate relationship as one point, but it was very shallow as far as I know. He left with his friend Peter and his mate Charlotte and eventually he met my Aunt Alice. They joined our coven roughly ten years ago."

"How many are in your coven exactly?" Jacob asked rather uncomfortably. Renesmee had explained that her family didn't drink human blood, but that didn't make the prospect of so many vampires in one spot any less uncomfortable.

"Including me? Nine," she answered. "There're my parents, my grandparents, and four aunts and uncles. I have extended family that lives far up North in the tundra."

"I always thought cold ones were solitary creatures."

"We usually are. Large covens like the one I come from are extremely uncommon. The only other large coven that we know of is the Volturi and they're the ones that usually keep our world in order. They're the reason Maria stopped her attempts at conquering Monterrey, Mexico. I don't remember exactly what happened. Jasper told me the story once and he said he wished to never speak of it again. It was a dark time in his life."

"I can imagine," Jacob said. "Tell me more about this Civil War."

From there, Renesmee told Jacob the story of the Civil War and all the things she'd seen. She remembered seeing soldiers marching down the streets in a parade like fashion with everyone saying the war was nothing to be concerned about; it would be over by Christmas. But 'by Christmas' turned into four long years that she remembered all too vividly. Carlisle had moved them to North Carolina for that period to work as a Doctor. He had been one of the few men actually trained in medicine while far too many doctors had never practiced medicine a day in their lives before stepping into these hospitals with poor hygiene and inexperienced medical staff that could do little more for soldiers then cut off their limbs to avoid gang green. From there, the men would be lucky if they didn't die of infection or disease. She could still remember the time she'd seen a man get his leg sawed off due to shrapnel that had embedded itself into his leg. Carlisle would've just removed it and disinfected it the best he could had the man been brought to him sooner, but by the time the man was in Carlisle's care, it was far too late. It had to come off. She still remembered the man begging Carlisle to stop cutting. She never could get that image completely out of her head.

She was more eager to talk about President Lincoln. At least until she reached the part about his assassination and the man hunt for John Wilkes Booth that followed. Jacob listened intently and squeezed Renesmee's hand comfortingly when she described the horrors of the hospitals she remembered vividly. She didn't bother showing Jacob the images in her head and Jacob was grateful for that. When they finally returned, it was around mid-afternoon. Renesmee suggested they get some reading in before it was dinner, so they started Hamlet. She wasn't certain if Jacob would like this one as much, but she at least was fond of the play. They managed to get through the first two scenes of act 1. It was only the beginning of the play, so she didn't expect Jacob to be all that interested, but he was intrigued by the prospect of a ghost and was even shocked when it was revealed that Claudius had married his brother's wife. By the end of scene two, the smells of dinner began to waft into the tent. Nothing was done when they stepped outside, but there were a few things available for Jacob to nab from his mother's basket before she slapped his hand and told him to be patient. Caevia walked over to Renesmee when she was alone and tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. When Renesmee was looking at her, Caevia smiled kindly.

"Embry told me what happened," she said point blank and Renesmee sighed heavily. "Don't worry too much about it. As far as I know, what happened isn't common knowledge. But keep in mind that outside of some mild teasing, no one would think less of you for it. Sex is a natural thing."

"That's not the point. The point is that it's something between me and Jacob. I shouldn't have to talk about it with anyone but him."

Caevia patted Renesmee on the back. "Really, Renesmee, don't think so much about it." She stopped a moment and looked at how embarrassed Renesmee looked. "It was consensual I hope," she finally said rather harshly.

"Yes, it was consensual."

"Do you regret sleeping with him?"

"No," Renesmee said. "I'm trying so hard not to feel guilty about that. I guess it's still a little hard not to feel that way."

"Do you want to be with Jacob?" Renesmee nodded. "Then don't feel ashamed or guilty. This might not be how you planned on it, but you have everything you wanted here. You wanted your independence and you wanted people to accept you and to embrace you for your talents. In bringing you here, Jacob gave you everything you needed and that's what a Zoayisak is supposed to do."

"And yet so far I've done nothing but give him trouble," Renesmee said solemnly.

"That's not true. You're teaching him a new language, you're teaching him how to read and write, you're teaching the women of the tribe how to knit comfortable winter clothing and acting as Sokajili's protégée. You're giving all you're taking, I assure you. If you love him, Renesmee, really love him, then you need to turn your back on what was ultimately the biggest mistake of your life and embrace an opportunity to be happy."

Renesmee looked at Caevia with a genuine smile and hugged her with Caevia's now fully visible bump the only thing between them.

"Thank you, Caevia."

"No need to thank me," she answered.

Renesmee looked in Jacob's direction. He looked so happy. It wasn't a cocky smile he had on his face, rather a look of contentment as he spoke with his mother. He looked in her direction and waved for her to come over with the same genuine smile on his face. She returned the smile and walked over taking a seat next to him. Jacob wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her head before returning to his conversation he was having with Sara. He was just requesting she not put so many onions in his potato cake. Renesmee was relieved Sara didn't mention the conversation she'd had with Jacob that morning too. No one else seemed too surprised by Jacob kissing her and holding her so affectionately. Anyone that did show any opinion seemed pleased to see them finally together. Renesmee wasn't sure how things would progress from here, but she had to say she was happy to be with him too. Renesmee looked at Jacob while he was saying something to someone across the boiling pot. When he noticed she was staring at him, he chuckled.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said. "I just love you." Jacob smiled wider and brought his head down and kissed her. Renesmee rested her head on Jacob's shoulder while he spoke with a woman that began to giggle and tease Jacob and Renesmee. She realized she didn't mind the teasing. Rather, it made her hold his arm just a little tighter.