Chapter 62
Natalie and Jae remained at the shop through the night and did not return to the tribe until that afternoon. Thankfully, no one in town knew they were there so they were left undisturbed. Natalie had woken up before Jae and had thrown on her dress to go downstairs and make them breakfast, bringing it to him in bed as she'd done before. They ate their breakfast together, but they were ultimately more interested in one another. It was yet another new thing for them to explore and they were excited to do so. When they did finally return, Tokoruchei and his children were still at the tribe. Toroeh and Rae had been speaking to each other nonstop since they'd met the previous day. Caevia and Embry Sr. (begrudgingly) agreed to allow Rae to go with them for the remainder of the summer until fall but it was with the strict understanding that it would be with Embry Sr. going. Nathan and Travis, who'd returned to the tribe from his own that morning, would also be going. Because Nathan was going that meant Tomoeh was returning home as well. She'd admitted to her father that she'd found she rather liked Nathan. So Jjigae agreed she would remain with the Quileutes with Torou looking after her. When Natalie and Jae did finally return, Travis noticed them and smiled at them both, winking at Jae.
Natalie and Jae made sure to say goodbye to everyone before they left. Jae told Rae to take care of herself to which she assured she would. Roxanne followed by Nathan's side as they all made the trip south to the Makka tribe. Initially, Kevin remained rather unaware of these developments since he'd focused most if not all his time with Amber. He'd not shifted since he initially arrived in Germany just letting everyone know he'd made it there safely. The following Monday, the bride picked up her candles and carved flower soaps and gushed that they were beautiful and her table settings would be perfect, leaving a very happy customer. Later that same day, Kevin and Amber finished reading Wuthering Heights. She was adamant that she wasn't fond of the book at all but was happy Kevin and been with her to read it, making the unbearably just slightly tolerable. Kevin laughed and they agreed to go to the bookstore together the following day so he could attempt to find a book for her to read that might wash the taste of their last book out of her mouth.
After Levi returned from work that day and they all had dinner together, they all remained up for a while talking. Levi had, thankfully, recovered from his dreadful hangover, but it wasn't without the assistance of a very long night and day sleep. He'd not properly gotten out of bed until that following Sunday morning, and it was only because they needed to go to the Synagogue, which Kevin joined. It gave Kevin the opportunity to meet a few more people. Kevin met another collection of new friends Amber had made since coming to Berlin and the people at the Synagogue finally got to meet the infamous Sgt. Kevin William Black that they'd heard so much about. After it was determined to be late, Levi decided to go to bed, as did Anna. They suggested Amber get to bed as well and, by virtue, Kevin. After Anna and Levi had retreated to bed, Kevin walked Amber to the door of her bedroom.
"Good night, Amber," Kevin smiled. "We'll go buy a book for you tomorrow that we can read. I'll make sure we pick something you'll like."
"I can't wait," Amber said. She gave Kevin a hug and he hugged her back before she retreated into her room for the night. Deciding he'd best give his family an update, Kevin snuck out of the house shortly after he knew everyone was asleep and ran to the woods where he and Amber had previously hunted. Thankfully, he managed to catch them just before they were all set to return home for the morning at which point he found out about the developments with the Makka.
Do you think this will resolve anything? Kevin asked once he was given the rundown of what happened.
I think it might, Kyle said. Tokoruchei isn't like his predecessors. He's not interested in our gift of fusion. I can't speak for his son Toraz that started this whole mess, but Tokoruchei isn't interested. He would have much preferred we continue to ignore one another. He is open to a friendship, though. And I think he realized, given the allies we have at our disposal that befriending us would be a good step.
But as it stands, Nathan, you're the only one of us that's up for consideration? Kevin asked.
I'm the only one willing more or less, Nathan said. Tomoeh's a nice girl and she's only a year older than me. I can bite the bullet and marry her if it's needed. Rae and Toroeh are getting along great too. They've been inseparable since they met. Isn't that right, Uncle Embry? Nathan teased and Embry Sr. grumbled in response.
If that little brat wants to marry Rae then his uphill battle is with me, Embry Sr. argued.
He seems like a good kid all the same, Embry Jr. defended.
If he wants her, he needs to impress me,Embry Sr. reiterated with a low growl. It wasn't just his opinion, but Caevia's as well. If Rae did love Toroeh, than she'd not object to the union but she did make it clear to Embry that she wanted that boy watched like a hawk until Embry deemed him suitable. A request that Embry gladly and diligently agreed to. Those two didn't go a moment alone and the few times they were, Embry was still very close to the tent in which she was staying with one of Toroeh's older sisters and her husband and kids.
So Kevin,Nathan spoke up, changing the subject. It's official for you and Amber now?
Nothing's really 'official' right now. My feelings have changed and I'm sure hers have too, but we haven't changed anything in our relationship. Right now, I'm still just Sgt. Black 'the American she keeps telling us all about', Kevin answered, quoting some people from the synagogue.
So you're just waiting for her to decide? What if she's waiting for you? Embry Jr. asked.
She's still sorting things out from what I can tell,Kevin answered. I don't want to rush things. She's still in senior school for starters and I doubt Mr. and Mrs. Dymek would take too kindly to me courting Amber.
What are you talking about? I thought they loved you,Embry said.
They love me now, Kevin said. But right now, I'm just the soldier that visits from time to time. I can't be sure they'll still like me if I'm the soldier that's trying to steal their daughter away to America.
She's your imprint, so of course she'd come to America to be with you eventually. What do they want you to do? Move to Germany? Embry Jr. asked.
I can't do that, Kevin said. It wasn't possible when I was 15 and it's not possible now. Especially not now. I'm a trained lawyer in America, but here, I'd have to start from scratch. I don't have the means to do that. Even if I did, the economy's a nightmare here and the locals are none too pleased about it. Most of the time "she's my imprint" is a good enough answer, but that's under normal circumstances. Amber and I aren't under normal circumstances. We have an ocean between us most of the time and I can't just pick her up and leave. That's not fair to Levi and Anna especially when I can't even promise I'd be able to send her to Germany to visit every summer. I can't even promiseIcan go every summer. I have enough for 2 more trips right away, but after that, I'm back to saving again.
Can't they all move here? Nathan asked.
Again, it's not as simple as that. Anna just opened up a new shop and she's really proud of it. So is Amber. And they're doing really well despite all the odds. They love it in Berlin. I can't just make them pack up and move because I want to be closer to Amber. We all understand the imprinted bond, but they don't. I have to tread lightly. If I don't, I risk ruining my ability to see Amber freely. What happens if I act too quickly and I offend them? Who's to say they might not refuse to allow me to see her?
You don't really think they'd do that do you? Kyle asked skeptically.
I highly doubt it, but I won't risk it. When the time does come for Amber and I to think about progressing our relationship, I'll find a way to explain this to them and we'll work something out. But until then, I have no intention of doing anything that would jeopardize me being able to see Amber.
How open is Amber to coming to America? Travis asked.
I don't know. I haven't asked. I won't ask until the time comes to really discuss this.
Well, the sooner, the better. Kyle said. You said so yourself: the economy's terrible. Then there's the political turmoil you keep complaining about.
I think now that they're in Berlin, they should be safer. Besides, the guy that was behind all this is in jail now.
Yeah, for nine months, Kyle pointed out.
How in the hell did he manage to get a 9 month sentence for TREASON? Embry Jr. asked. I was under the impression the universal penalty for that is death.
Apparently, the man's a charmer,Kevin sighed heavily. From what I hear, he's good at commanding the attention of a room and is a gifted orator. It's a shame he's a monster otherwise he might have done some good.
Fine, but he's basically received a slap on the wrist for trying to overthrow the Bavarian government. Kyle said. You really think he'll learn his lesson after that disgraceful showing of a trial? Who's to say he won't just pick up where he left off?
I imagine he'll get shut down, Kevin argued. Alice is keeping an eye on things right?
As best she can, yes,Jacob nodded. So far, she's not seeing anything worth worrying about. Not from that man's end at least from what she can see. Apparently he's writing a book, though.
Kevin rolled his eyes, About what? Germany, Germany, fuck the Jews, fuck the Communists, Jews, Jews, Germany? I'm sure it's a riveting read,he continued sarcastically. He's not even German. He's Austrian. Shit, from what I hear, he's not even a German citizen! That's why I'm saying he's not worth worrying about anymore.
I'll trust your judgment, Kyle sighed.
Thank you, Kevin said. Just let me worry about this. I'll take care of it. I don't know how yet, but I'll take care of it.
I just hope you're right,Kyle said.
I am right. I have to handle this very delicately. If that means years and years before Amber and I can start our relationship, then so be it. I won't risk ruining what we have arranged, even if that means a lifetime of waiting.
I admire your patience,Embry Jr. said.
I don't really have much choice but to be patient, Kevin answered somberly. The thought entered everyone's mind, his included, that if he'd just put his foot down and made the Dymeks let him bring her back to America, none of this would have happened. Yet, he couldn't justify it. The Dymeks adored Amber and were wonderful parents to her. He couldn't have handpicked a better family himself. Hell, he'd tried. I need to get back, he finally said.
Good night, Kevin, the group all said.
Oh and Jae? Kevin said. Good job. Jacob just sighed while Jae stopped in his tracks, as did Natalie, and sat there listening to the group collectively chuckle and give Jae a metaphorical pat on the back. Jacob simply reiterated his previous points: don't tell Renesmee, and if Natalie got pregnant then Jae could look forward to a ride on the Hanging Tree. Natalie protested and told Jacob to leave Jae alone while the group continued to laugh at their expense.
After he'd satisfactorily embarrassed Jae and his sister for the night, Kevin changed back to make his way back to the house. Once he returned to the store, he found the hidden key to the side door and let himself in as quietly as possible. Once opened, he returned the key to its intended hiding place and locked the door behind him when he stepped inside. However, he heard some movement coming from the back room where all the candles were made. He listened and heard the slightest sound of humming and realized it was Amber. Kevin quietly approached the door to the candle room to which the door was slightly ajar. Not wanting to startle her, he gently placed his hand on the door and pushed the thought of her name into her head.
"Kevin?" Amber whispered.
"What are you doing up so late?" Kevin asked just as quietly, pushing the door open and stepping in. Once he was in, he noticed Amber was painting. It looked like the beginnings of a rabbit in a basket.
"I noticed you'd left, so I thought I'd get some painting done while I waited for you to get back."
"You didn't have to wait up for me," Kevin smiled and sat on the stool near the easel.
"I wanted to," Amber smiled back. "So how is everyone?"
"Fine for the most part, but it turns out there was an incident."
"What kind of incident?" Amber asked, concerned and stopping what she was doing. As Kevin continued, she placed her paint brush in the cup of water so she could focus on him.
"There's a tribe south of us called the Makka that we've had…let's say 'disputes' with for years. Evidently, the current chief's son attempted to attack the tribe. The pack fought him off, but from there the Chief has been trying to do some semblance of damage control. Apparently the attack was behind his back and without his approval. He's trying to arrange a marriage agreement to try and smooth things out." There was a long silence and, eventually, Kevin looked at Amber who appeared somber and wasn't looking at him. "I'm not being considered," Kevin hurried to reassure.
"You're not?" Amber asked, relieved yet surprised. "I thought you were the oldest. I would think it would make more sense."
"Normally yes, but my circumstances are…complicated to say the least."
"You mean because you live out east?"
"There's that, but it's the least of the reasons."
"What's the most of it?" Amber asked.
Kevin was quiet at first, but eventually said, "You remember what we talked about? Back when we went hunting?" Amber nodded. "Well, given those circumstances, I'm not being considered. The only one of us that is would be Nathan. He's the only one that's not imprinted, nor spoken for and resides in Washington."
"Imprinted?" Amber asked. Kevin looked up at her realizing he'd said more than he'd meant to.
"Yeah," Kevin answered, trying to think of the best way to explain the word. "It's….I don't really know how to adequately explain it. The wolves of my tribe are….that is to say, sometimes we meet someone and there's an instantaneous connection. There's a bond there that's not shared with anyone else. For the wolf, everything in his world, or her world. I guess seeing as Natalie's in the pack, this rule would apply to her too. Regardless, everything in the wolf's world shifts and changes. The imprint is suddenly the entity that holds that wolf to earth. The imprint is everything and all that matters. It doesn't matter the imprint's age, either. Often times, the imprint will be much younger than the wolf. In those cases, the relationship is purely platonic. Yet once the imprint's grown, that bond changes to something more….intense I guess. The bond is always love, but it changes from a brotherly love I guess to a lover or whatever it is the imprint wants and needs. If that makes any sense." There was another moment of silence before Amber finally spoke.
"Did you imprint?"
"Yes," Kevin answered, but would not look at Amber in the eye. Not now. He wasn't sure what his eyes would show and he wasn't sure he was ready to face the consequences of them. He'd not been joking when he'd said he needed to handle this as delicately as possible. Yet he didn't need to say anything or even look at her. He should have known he wouldn't have to.
"Me?" Amber asked, a hopefulness in her voice Kevin noticed. He felt something in him when he heard her tone of voice. Something that made him want to be reckless. Yet he fought it with all his might. So he didn't answer her. Regardless, he had a feeling he didn't have to. She'd figured it out. Now he just needed to think how to proceed from there. Amber started to approach Kevin, but she didn't get too close. His quietness was making her nervous. "Are you ashamed about it?" she asked suddenly. That grabbed Kevin's attention immediately and he finally looked right at her. The look in her eyes stirred more within him that he wasn't fully confident he could fight. He had to try though.
"No," Kevin answered bluntly. "I never have been."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was too soon," Kevin said. "I'd planned to explain everything when we got back to Washington but…well, the Dymeks adopted you. That made things more complicated." Amber appeared thoughtful a moment. She was remembering that day. She still remembered it vividly. She remembered that feeling. She loved the Dymeks and wanted them to be her family, but when Kevin said he wouldn't come with, that had crushed her. She'd been so angry with him at first as though he'd betrayed her. Then she remembered when he'd argued but had stopped.
"What made you decide to let mom and daddy adopt me?" Amber finally asked. Kevin smiled. It was a weak smile, but it was there.
"I think you just answered your own question," he said. "Rosalie and Emmett would have cared for you and they would have loved you. But when I saw how much the Dymeks loved you, how much you loved them…..I couldn't in good conscience take you. I wanted to so badly. Believe me I did. But you wouldn't have been happy. I knew you wouldn't have been. No matter my feelings, no matter how angry I was with Mrs. Lavoie for going behind my back, no matter how much I would miss you, no matter how much it hurt…..your happiness meant more to me. It always has and it still does. That's what the wolf does for his imprint. He does everything he can to make her happy. Even if it means doing something as painful as letting her go. You picked Anna and Levi, so I let you go."
Another silence passed between them as Amber took in everything Kevin had said to her. She wasn't even certain what to say. It occurred to her, though, how reluctantly Kevin was to talk about this. He promised it wasn't because he was ashamed of her or of how he felt about her. She wasn't ashamed either.
"Why are you so reluctant to tell me now?" Amber asked.
"Because I'm not in a position to do anything about it," Kevin answered. "There's an ocean between us most of the time. I can't afford to come see you as much as I wished I could. I can't stay here in Germany either. I'd have to start from scratch to start and….I just can't leave my family. Not like that. Sure, I'm usually in Connecticut, but even then, if they need me, a day's run tops and I'm there. And I'll be returning once Kyle's graduated anyway. In Germany, I can't be there when they need me. Ultimately, my place is at home with them. And I can't take you back to America. Not now anyway."
"Daddy would never allow it," Amber agreed sadly.
"And he would be right to," Kevin said. "You're too young for starters."
"Only in age," Amber said.
"It's not just that. Your parents love it here. You love it here. And you've gotten yourselves established here. If I took you with me, I have no way to know how often I could send you back here to visit them. Maybe one day I can afford to send you here every year. Hell, twice a year. But that time isn't now. I can barely afford to come here myself. So they'd never see you. They'd probably see you about as much as I do now. I can't do that to them or to you." They looked at one another a little longer. Amber was thoughtful and considered everything. Ultimately, Kevin was right, but she still found a protest.
"My parents love you, though. I'm sure, so long as we took things slow, they would be alright with us being together."
"I don't know," Kevin sighed. "I'm sure whenever Anna teases me that I need to find myself a nice young woman to marry, she isn't referring to you. That's why I always dance around the topic whenever she brings it up. What else can I do? I'm so scared that if I tell them how I feel about you, they'll never let me see you again."
"They won't do that," Amber reassured. "I know they won't. I wouldn't let them." Amber went to her knees so she was sitting right before Kevin from where he sat on the stool. "Can I ask you something?"
"Ask me anything," Kevin said.
"Do you love me? I don't mean the way you were talking about before. Not like a little girl, but a woman." Kevin considered how to answer her question. He knew the answer obviously. He just didn't know how to answer. Although, frankly, he'd already revealed far more than he'd intended. There was no going back anyway.
"Yes," Kevin finally answered. It was such a blunt answer, nothing like Amber had wanted. It was so bizarre. He knew what he wanted to say but he seemed to simply refuse to and that's what frustrated her. She took a deep breath and stood back up to return to her painting. "Amber?"
"I should work on this," she said. "I promise I'll go to bed soon. I just want to get this background finished."
"You're upset with me," Kevin said, unnerved. "What's wrong."
"Nothing," Amber said quietly. Kevin looked at her a moment, trying to think what had upset her. She hadn't been upset until he'd answered her. He'd told her the truth and it was the answer she'd wanted. "Good night." She said rather bluntly and flatly. Then, suddenly, Kevin realized why she was upset. It wasn't his answer. It was how he answered.
"Good night," he returned and left the room. However, he glanced over his shoulder and saw the look on Amber's face. She looked so frustrated and sad. It was the latter that made it impossible for him to walk away. So he turned around and went back into the room, closing the door behind him and surprising Amber. "I love you, Amber. I always have and I always will. Recently, it's turned into something more, at least for me. Please understand that I'm not trying to hurt you. I realize I'm being difficult and I realize I've been avoiding being completely honest, but it's not because I don't love you and it's certainly not because I'm ashamed to love you. The honest truth is because I refuse to say or do anything that will compromise what we have. I want us to be able to have more. I wish I could just walk up to your father with my chest out and my head held high and tell him I love you. I wish I could pack your things and take you to America tomorrow. I wish I could take you back to Washington, have a moon ceremony and marry you under the full moon, or a crescent moon, or the new moon or whatever moon it is. But I can't. I know I can't just take you away because I know it wouldn't make you happy."
Amber was still surprised by his barging back into the room, so it took a moment for her to react to his words. However, when she did, what she felt was desperate. She felt her heart begin to pound and she felt as though she needed to touch him just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. So she put her brush back in the cup of water and reached her hand up to touch Kevin's face. He wasn't standing up tall like he normally did. Rather, he seemed to be slouching in a strange manner that was unbecoming of him. He was prouder than that. He was warm under her hand as he always was. He was always warm whenever he hugged her. She could fall asleep in his arms and feel safe. She noticed when she touched his cheek that he stood a little straighter, but he remained strong and resolved. It impressed her and infuriated her all at once. Yet now that she knew beyond a reasonable doubt that he'd started feeling the same way for her as she did for him, she couldn't imagine trying to pretend this hadn't happened and going back to just being friends. It wasn't enough. Not anymore. Yet when that thought entered her mind, she felt so selfish. She realized this was no easier for him than it was for her. In fact, for him, it was probably much harder than she could begin to understand. Yet he was willing to face that hardship head on with a smile on his face if it meant she would be happy.
"I didn't mean to upset you," Amber finally said and Kevin took her hand in his.
"I know," Kevin said. "I need to handle this delicately. Every bone in my body wants to rush, but I can't. We can't. I don't care if I have to wait a lifetime for you. I'll wait as long as I have to so I can ensure everything is done right."
"I don't want to wait a lifetime, Kevin," Amber said. "Especially not now."
"I know," Kevin said. "I know," he repeated, unsure what else to say. He'd already gone too far and he feared if he said another word, he'd just fan the flames.
When he remained silent, Amber closed the distance and wrapped her arms around Kevin's neck resting her head on his chest and listening to his heart. His was pounding just as hers was. Somehow that was a comforting thought. Kevin reciprocated and wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his cheek on her head. She felt so warm in his embrace. It was a strange feeling now that she'd never felt before. Kevin always had made her feel safe. She always wanted to be right where she is now. Yet it had never felt quite like this before and now that it did, the thought of him leaving hurt that much more. She wanted desperately to beg him to stay in Germany with her. She wanted to beg him to stay with them and he could start over in Germany all so they could be together. Deep down, she knew if she begged, he would do it. If she looked up at him with tears in her eyes and begged, he'd turn into a wolf again this instant and tell his family he wasn't coming home. She knew he would. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't do that to him, to his family. She couldn't force Kevin to stay with her and abandon his whole life for her no matter how much she wanted to.
"Daddy wants me to attend college for business," Amber said suddenly. It took Kevin by surprise.
"What?" he asked.
"Daddy wants me to go to business school. I will be attending Senior school another two years and after that I'll go to business school. Maybe then you can tell them. Maybe by then, you could walk up to daddy and tell him you want to marry me. Maybe then we can start thinking of how to move forward."
"You mean wait until you finish school?" Amber nodded. "That seems like a reasonable milestone," Kevin answered, finally smiling again against her head.
"But," Amber continued, "That only means we're waiting to tell mom and daddy."
"What do you mean?" Kevin asked. Amber lifted her head from Kevin's chest, so he lifted his own head and looked down at her. She was giving him a pleading look.
"I don't mind waiting to tell mom and daddy about any of this, but that doesn't mean I want to wait for us to be together. I can't return to the way it was. I don't think you can either."
"So you want us to see one another in secret?" Kevin asked and Amber nodded in response. "Are you sure you're alright with that?"
"I am," Amber nodded, trying to be as stern as she could and determined not to back down. "And when I've gotten through school, I'll go to America with you."
"Really?" Kevin asked.
"Yes," Amber nodded. "I'll learn English, I'll figure out how to start a business just like mom did and I'll sell candles and soaps, we'll get married, we'll have a traditional wedding and a nice Jewish wedding, have kids, I'll take them here to Germany every summer to visit their grandparents and we'll live happily ever after."
Kevin chuckled and held Amber close again. "I like the sound of that," he finally said.
"Can I admit something to you?" Amber asked.
"Of course," Kevin smiled.
"You know the way you talk to Alfonse's mother, that princess and so on. I really don't like it."
Kevin raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"I don't like how you speak so glowingly to them but you don't talk that way to me."
"I'm being fake with them if you want to know the truth," Kevin said. "I talk to you honestly."
"I know," Amber said. "Even if you're not being honest, you make them feel special when you do that."
"I don't make you feel special?" Kevin asked honestly.
"You do," Amber said. "You've just never flattered me that way."
"I'll keep in mind to start doing that," Kevin smiled and kissed the top of Amber's head. He had an idea of just how he'd do that, but right now it was late. "Let's both get to bed, okay? It's been a long day for both of us."
"Okay," Amber smiled. She cleaned off the brushes and put them away before she and Kevin walked upstairs together. He brought her to the door of her bedroom and she opened it, but before going in she turned around to look at Kevin with a sweet smile. "Can I ask one more thing?"
"Anything," Kevin smiled.
"Can I have a goodnight kiss?" She looked so nervous when she'd asked and Kevin smiled a little more, knowing exactly what she meant.
So he leaned down and, for the first time, pressed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes and savored the feeling as her stomach did summersaults and her head started to spin. His lips were so firm and warm and he smelled woodsy. Her lips against his were soft and just as warm and she smelled of perfumes from essential oils that frequently coated her fingers as well as the smell of soap and wax and paint. She smelled like an artist and he was quite fond of it. He forced himself to keep the kiss brief, but he couldn't resist taking her top lip between his for the briefest of moments, and planting one more chaste kiss on her before listing his head away. When he pulled away, she looked as though she were in a fog. He could hear her heart beating and it matched his.
"Good night, Amber," Kevin whispered. Then, just one more time, he placed another kiss on her lips and whispered, "I love you," before pulling away completely and beginning to walk to his own room.
"I love you too," Amber whispered back weakly, still recovering, and finally retreated to her room. Once Kevin heard the door close, he went downstairs to the desk in the living room and removed a pencil, some paper, and an envelope and went back to his room to work on that 'something that made her feel special'.
The next morning, Amber woke up with a big smile on her face. She was almost scared to dare get out of bed and discover last night had only been a dream. But then she realized there was a renewed smell of Kevin and she opened her eyes. He wasn't there, but she did see something unexpected on her nightstand. It was an envelope with her name on it. She recognized the handwriting as Kevin's and took the letter in her hand as she sat up in bed. She opened the seal and pulled out the paper. It was written to her in French. To this day, all their letters to one another were always in French. More importantly, though, the letter was the reassurance she craved that last night was in fact not a dream after all.
Amber,
My delivery last night as to the nature of our latest discovery was unsatisfactory to say the least, so I've written to you in an effort to make it up to you for my less than romantic proclamation. Sadly, I am no Captain Wentworth and I can't say I've ever written a love letter until today, but I will do my best.
That day in Chateau; I will never forget that day for better or worse as long as I live. I can still see things and hear things I wish with all my heart I've never seen and heard. However, a rather unexpected discovery made the day one of the happiest days of my life despite the carnage and the lives lost. I heard you crying and found you alone. Yet when you opened your eyes, you smiled at me as if the whole world and everything outside had melted away. It was certainly the case for me.
I remember when I first looked into your eyes. I remember being unable to believe eyes could be that blue as though I were looking into the ocean back home. I admit, when I looked into your eyes that day, it was the happiest I'd felt in years by that point. When I looked into those eyes, I realized my life was changed forever and I would not have it any other way. You smiled at me and showed that you trusted me. Do you realize, Amber, that when you felt safe with me, I felt safe with you too? After so many weeks of grueling fighting, of blood, and dust, of no man's land, and barbed wire, of gunfire, grenades and gas, it all went away then. Your blue, ocean eyes were all I saw and all I cared to see forever and always.
Yet no matter how happy I was to have found you, I knew I couldn't take you to the front with me and I entrusted you in the care of Mrs. Lavoie. Regardless of any animosity I may have felt for her so long ago, she did what I asked of her: look after you when I couldn't. Yet whenever I was away from you, you were all I thought about. Even when you were so young. I remember how you cried when I left you with Mrs. Lavoie. It made me nearly cry too. Yet it was only the second hardest thing I ever had to do. Accepting that Anna and Levi deserved you and loved you and that you loved them so, giving you to them with that fear in my heart from not knowing when I would see you again. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
With every day that passed after that, my heart ached. I missed you so dearly that I nearly couldn't bare it. Knowing that, someday, somehow, I would see you again, was all that kept me standing and all that kept me going. I knew, deep down, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much I longed to take you back, no matter how much I missed you, that I had done what was best for you. Above anything else in the world, I want for you to be happy. But do you remember what you had done, Amber? You came to see me off to America. You waved goodbye to me and did not stop until we couldn't see far enough into the distance. That gave me renewed hope and determination. And I made you a promise that day. "I will come back for you".
Was it really six years ago now? Six years since I found you and six years since I found myself bound to you forever and a heartily willing slave at that? You've grown so much since then. The little girl I found is now a stunning young woman with the same ocean blue eyes and amber hair I remember from her infancy. Yet now, when I look into your eyes, I see everything I saw before, but now there's something more. I knew you had grown from the pictures you'd sent to me. You looked so happy in front of the shop and so proud. I only recall that same smile when you completed your Bat Mitzvah. However, my feelings at that time had remained that of a young man that cared for a little girl he'd saved and bonded with. It was still that of a friend. That all changed when I came to you Thursday.
I recall you sitting with your friends. I'm sure I needn't bore you with a scene for which you were a direct player in, but I can express my deepest personal shift that had occurred in that moment. It was those ocean blue eyes again. I believe there was a noise on my side of the street at which you'd glanced. It was brief. To most, too quick. But to me? I saw the woman you had become. The woman I knew you would become one day. It took me by surprise how much you'd grown up since we'd last seen each other. Your eyes shined and your smile was bright as they always are and yet, something had changed. I stood on the street staring at you for more time than, perhaps, would be considered acceptable, but I couldn't help myself. I'd always thought you a beautiful girl. But when I saw you in that moment, you weren't a beautiful little girl. You were a beautiful woman.
I said to myself, "You grew up on me, Amber." And you really did. I'm embarrassed to admit I was taken by surprise by it. I wasn't sure I was ready for things to change between us, hence my reasoning for last night's evasion of the topic however unacceptable it was of me. I knew in that instant that my feelings for you had changed drastically. I knew that I didn't love you as a friend anymore, but I was in love with you. Do you realize the fire you ignited? Do you know that every time I look at you, into those ocean blue eyes that make me feel like I'm home, my heart races? When our lips touched….nothing I could write would be adequately expressive. Only more kisses could ever do justice to how your lips felt. Ever since then, I've longed for their touch again. I suspect I will dream about it. In fact, I hope I do.
I could go on for pages expressing my love for you, my attraction for you, and every detail about you that makes you perfect. But sadly, I fear, there's simply not enough paper in the world for such a thing to be possible. I would instead content myself, someday soon, with spending our lives together telling you how much I love you. I long for that day when our lives start together. In my tribe's traditions, a marriage begins when the couple lights a bonfire together and all the guests in attendance dance around the fire with the couple. However, since I am grandson to the chief, eldest son to the chief apparent, and his chief apparent after that, we would both wear the fur of wolves on our heads, signaling the continuation of the chiefdom. One day, I will look at you past the teeth of my headdress and the teeth of yours. Someday, I will see you sitting beside me before a bonfire to be lit beneath the light of the moon that has been ordained for our wedding night. When that day comes, I shall smile at you. And I shall tell you before everyone looking on that I love you and am proud to call you my wife as well as how honored you've made me by gracing me with your hand in marriage. For that would be the greatest gift I could ever ask: spending my life with the woman that stepped out of my dreams and by forces unknown became my solid reality.
Not a day goes by that I do not think of you and when we are parted, I miss you terribly. You are my heart, my soul, my best friend, my one and only. Always remember that. If I am not there and you miss me, or you for any reason doubt my love and sincerity, you need only see for yourself how dearly I love you by reading this again. No matter the distance that separates us and no matter the years or any arbitrary time, always remember I love you. Always remember that I will return, for I can't bear to be parted from you for long. The bond you and I share, the connection we had from the moment I looked into your deep blue eyes, is something that will never fade or go away. It is an everlasting bond and I look forward to each and every day that I have with you.
With all my Love,
Kevin
It was funny, Amber thought, that Kevin would apologize for not having the gift for writing that he proclaimed Captain Wentworth to have. Kevin's love letter to her had been exactly what she wanted. Something she always wished for. She remembered when they'd read Persuasion together. She remembered how she'd gushed and how she wished, someday, that a man would write a love letter to her. Now she was holding a love letter in her hand from a man that had truly loved her from the beginning. She laid back in her bed and held the letter to her chest and sighed. Eventually, she put the letter back in the envelope and went to her little purple box where she kept all Kevin's other letters and tucked it in with the others. She listened for any sounds about the house and heard her mother making breakfast downstairs. It sounded like daddy was down there too. She could her him mumbling the words on the news paper he read and she could hear him sipping his coffee. She listened for Kevin and heard him still in the guest room with his breathing even.
Amber got herself dressed for the day in a simple skirt and shirt before she left the room and washed her face and brushed her teeth. She brushed more thoroughly this morning than was typical. She wanted to ensure her mouth was clean and fresh. Once she was clean, she listened a little more for her parents, who still seemed preoccupied. They had started talking about the books for the shop, something that Levi had been assisting Anna with, so Amber was clear to sneak across to Kevin's room. The door was slightly open, so Amber gently placed her hand on the door and pushed it open. Kevin was in bed sound asleep on his back. He'd remembered to close the curtains this time, so the sun wasn't shining in his eyes. Amber smiled and stepped inside, making sure to close the door behind her. Not all the way, but just enough to ensure they wouldn't be seen should her parents wander upstairs.
She walked a little closer to the bed, butterflies starting to form in her stomach again. Then she kneeled down so she was right beside the bed. She planted her elbows on the edge of the bed for leverage and lifted herself up just enough to reach her lips to his. With his next breath, Kevin smelled Amber at the same time he felt her kiss. He was still in a haze of being mostly asleep. He'd only just gone to bed a few short hours ago, so he initially assumed it was a dream. And what a pleasant dream it was. Her lips were soft and warm and she smelled like lavender soap and mint. She tasted different this time, fresher, but her taste from before was still there. Kevin reciprocated the kiss in his groggy state by giving her bottom lip a very quick and gentle lick with the tip of his tongue and a light nip of his teeth before sucking on her lip and continuing to kiss. That caused Amber to become light headed as she sighed and plopped her butt down on the balls of her heels with her chin on the bed over her arms now. The sudden movement made Kevin more alert and he opened his eyes to see Amber there. He didn't show any initial surprise and simply smiled. Amber smiled back.
"I read your letter," Amber smiled.
"And good morning to you too," Kevin teased and Amber smiled wider as a breathy giggle left her.
"I hope I didn't startle you," Amber said.
"It's alright," Kevin smiled. "I realized it was you. It took a moment to realize it wasn't a dream, but I knew it was you."
"You did?" Amber asked, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed as she began to blush. Kevin smiled and rolled to his side and put his weight on his elbow.
"So how did I do?" Kevin asked and Amber's blush deepened.
Amber giggled, "It was very romantic." Amber lifted her head and kissed Kevin again briefly. "Mom's making breakfast downstairs."
"I'll be down in a minute. We'll go to the bookstore after breakfast."
"Okay," Amber smiled and stood to leave the room. "I'll meet you downstairs," she said before walking out of the room and closing the door behind her. She went downstairs and saw her mother toasting bread and making coffee and her father reading the paper.
"Morning, mom, daddy," Amber said, walking into the kitchen.
"Morning Amber," Levi said and hugged Amber once she walked over, not putting down his paper.
"Is Kevin still asleep?" Anna asked.
"No, he's awake. He said he'd be down in a minute."
"Okay, good. I'll be prepping the dough for some mushroom tarts today. I know how he liked those."
"I can help you with that," Amber said. "We're going to the bookstore today, but once I'm back, we can work on that."
"We'll get it done while I'm making dinner," Anna said. "I saw the painting. I didn't realize you'd finished so much of it."
"Yeah, I should have that done today," Amber said, scratching the back of her neck.
"Oh, no rush, Amber," Anna reassured, none the wiser. "That customer doesn't need it until Friday. So long as it's done Thursday night we should be alright."
"Did you find out when you plan to go to the Jazz club?" Levi asked while he read the weather section.
"Friday night," Amber said. "That's when Dahlia and Gertrude said they wanted to go."
"And Kevin is going with you, right?" Levi asked, looking up from the paper.
"Yes, daddy, he's coming with," Amber smiled. "We'll all be perfectly safe."
"Good," Levi said, returning his eyes to the paper. "There's no telling what kind of trouble you could get into that time of night."
"Kevin promised we'd all be back by 9, so I'm sure we'll beat the riffraff," Amber smiled.
"And not a minute later," Levi pushed. "Charles and…that other boy will be going with right?" he asked, not able to remember the other young man's name.
"Luther, yes," Amber nodded. "We'll all be going out together. I promise, daddy, you have nothing to worry about."
"Amber, we'll always have something to worry about," Anna smiled and placed another cup of coffee down on the table. Then she took Amber's chin in her hand and gently guided Amber to look up at her. "One day, when you have kids of your own, you'll understand. You never stop worrying."
Amber nodded and Anna stepped back to the counter to bring over the toast and jam. Thankfully, she didn't notice the light blush that appeared on Amber's cheeks. Kevin finally came downstairs and walked into the kitchen, saying good morning to Anna and Levi. He sat across from Amber and smiled at her before helping himself to some breakfast. Kevin asked Levi if anything interesting was happening and the two began talking about what was happening according to the paper. Since they were beginning to talk politics, Anna and Amber sat and listened rather than say anything. Eventually, Levi had to leave, so Anna went with him to the door, handed him his lunch and gave him a kiss to see him off. After Levi was gone, Anna went up front to the shop and asked Amber to attend to the dishes for her. Once she was up front and Kevin and Amber were alone, they spoke to one another a little more openly.
"Do you know what bookstore you want to go to?"
"Just the store by the University," Amber answered. "They have a good selection. It's where I got Wuthering Heights."
"In French, no less," Kevin smiled. "I usually only write in French these days, so speaking French was a nice change."
"My accent is dreadful now," Amber sighed. "I take a French class at school. My teacher told me on paper I'm excellent but in practice, I sound like a German."
"And to think French is supposed to be your first language," Kevin joked and Amber threw a kitchen towel at him, earning a laugh from them both.
"For the record, Kevin, when you speak French, you sound like an Englishman."
"I was taught French by Englishman, so I imagine I would sound like them," Kevin smiled. "Carlisle's accent is better than Grandpa's. Carlisle grew up with a French governess. My grandpa was not so privileged. I don't think my grandpa received more than a basic elementary education in his human life, if even that. He said he knew basic reading skills but he couldn't spell to save his life. At least, that's what he claims to remember. Now my grandpa has handwriting to put the founding fathers to shame."
"I don't know what you mean," Amber said.
"If you look at the Constitution and Declaration of Independence, it's all hand written in beautiful calligraphy that, really, only the very well educated learn. I had the privilege of seeing them in person once. It's all kept behind glass."
"Sounds important," Amber smiled. "I like your handwriting."
"I write just like my grandpa: fancily. He taught all of us to write that way. Nathan's the one that made a style all his own," Kevin chuckled. "I can't wait for you to meet everyone, but I really can't wait for you to meet Nathan. He's something else."
"He sounds really nice," Amber said. "He's just a free spirit from the sounds of it."
"You have no idea," Kevin chuckled again. "He's always been that way. My grandpa used to tell us that myself, Kyle and Natalie are my mother's children, but Nathan is my dad's clone. Nathan takes a lot after dad."
"I thought Natalie looked like your father too."
"She does, but she's still a lot like mom. She's well behaved, she's an eager learner, loves to read, loves to sing, and she's lovable. Nathan's a smart kid and he's a good kid, but he does things his way in his time on his terms and he doesn't stand for…well, bullshit for lack of a better word. Dad's got a short temper sometimes with some people and Nathan's the same. It's just; dad's a little more direct. Nathan's sneakier."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, dad's been known to get…I guess get physical with people that cross his line. I know of two stories right off the top of my head where my dad's actually strangled people for an offense." Amber became shocked. "In all fairness to my father, one of the men I'm thinking of had tried giving our tribe rotting meat and the other had shot at a pregnant woman. The latter's lucky dad let him live at all, honestly. Though now that I think about it, he didn't actually. It's a long story," Kevin sighed. "Nathan's not quite like that. Anyone that's ever crossed Nathan just seems to find they've 'lost' something. Do you recall that story I told you about the man that brought us our bikes and Nathan stole his wallet because he didn't like the man's attitude?" Amber nodded. "Well, that's Nathan. I guess you could say dad makes you hurt now, Nathan makes you hurt later."
"You make them sound like criminals," Amber said.
"Dad's not a criminal," Kevin defended. "Nathan's….well…..Nathan's Nathan. I love the kid and I always will, but he's Nathan. That's the best explanation I can offer."
"I suppose if nothing else, you can at least say it's an honest answer," Amber smiled. "How do you suppose he'll handle being a married man? How old is your brother by the way?"
"He'll be 16 come December," Kevin said. "As far as marriage, nothing's been decided yet. He's still just getting to know Tomoeh. That's her name by the way; the daughter he's talking to. I don't think he likes Jjigae that much. She's much closer to my age apparently and she speaks down to him and he doesn't care for it. He prefers Tomoeh."
"But he doesn't know if he'll marry her or not?"
"Not right now," Jacob said. "He likes her, but he just doesn't know her that well. We'll see what happens come fall. That's when my dad, Grandpa William and Chief Tokoruchei will meet again. Right now, the goal is to finally become friendly with one another. That was Kyle's idea anyway. He argued the root of our problems is the fact we were never friends and that's why marriage didn't work last we'd tried."
"Your brother just doesn't strike me as the type that would go along with an arranged marriage."
"He wouldn't," Kevin agreed. "Not in a million years. That's why nothing's been decided yet. If they do get married, it'll be because Nathan agreed to it and he's willing to be married to her."
"What happens if he doesn't?" Amber asked.
"Kyle agreed that if Nathan decides he doesn't want to marry Tomoeh then he would marry Jjigae. The two of them get along well enough and Kyle's barely home as it is. So worst case scenario, he's in a marriage to a woman he barely sees."
"You mean like Alfonse?" Amber pointed out.
"Yeah," Kevin agreed bluntly. "Well, not quite so bad. Kyle's a lot more….let's say 'patient' than Alfonse is. Not to mention, at least from what I've heard from everyone, Jjigae's a lot more agreeable than the princess. Frankly, from what I can tell, Jjigae's just hard on Nathan because she's looking out for Tomoeh. They all seem to be really close."
"Well, that's a good thing," Amber smiled.
"From what I heard from everyone, Jjigae loves Rae at least. You remember who Rae is right? Jae's sister. Or one of them anyway. One of his triplet sisters? Jae's the one that's courting Natalie."
"Oh, okay I think I remember."
"Well, anyway, she's taken a shine to Toroeh, Tomoeh's brother, and it's very likely they'll get married so long as Embry Sr. gives his blessing. Though at this time, he's still very much of the mindset that if Toroeh wants to marry Rae, he'd better make a good impression on him." Kevin chuckled a little. "Poor kid's probably going to be feeding the whole family for a while before Embry wavers."
"It's good that he's making Toroeh work for her, though. If he's willing to work for her, it means he really cares about her right?"
"I guess that's correct," Kevin smiled. "It's not as though she's one of my sisters or something, so we don't have to worry about him marrying her for that reason. But then, she is still daughter to a wolf. From what I know, when we had married into the Makkas previously, their desire was to have a wolf in their tribe, but it didn't work. In all honesty, even if it had, we would have insisted that child return to us. That's what happened with Travis."
"Why can't Travis stay at home?"
"Because he's part of the pack and needs to stay with the pack."
"You live all the way on the other side of the country, though. I can't imagine there would be issue with him living a few miles away."
"The difference is I have every intention of returning. So does Kyle. As I mentioned before, if I were to choose to move here for example and, worse, never come back, then there would be a problem. Although, that has more to do with me being the son to the current chief apparent. God forbid, something happens to my father, I need to be there to be crowned so to speak. The same thing goes for Kyle and Nathan. If something happens to me, it'll go to Kyle, something happens to him, it'll go to Nathan and, absolute worst case scenario, something happens to Nathan, it'll fall on Natalie, but I would imagine that, again, God forbid, if anything like that happened, it wouldn't happen for years and at least one of us will have had a son to take over in our place by then. Although, our rules of inheritance aren't quite so strict as most monarchies. If you want God's honest truth, it's really just a free for all, home team advantage to the eldest legitimate son, that being me in this case."
"Has your tribe ever had such a situation?"
"Not that I'm aware of," Kevin answered, "though I'd have a very hard time believing, in our tribe's long history, that we've not had circumstances arise where disputes over the chiefdom have occurred. Unfortunately, a number of our stories, in fact most of them, are remembered through word of mouth and sadly that means a very high likelihood the story's changed drastically over the years for better or for worse. That's why scholars that will study Native American stories always call them 'myths' because there's no written record. It's not like the English Monarchy for example where you can trace their lineage all the way back to 978 A.D. to the life of the oh so infamous Aethelred the Unready," Kevin said that last part with a bit of sarcasm.
"Who?" Amber asked.
"Exactly," Kevin said, chuckling a little. "Actually, now that I think of it, England didn't make official rules of inheritance that stuck until after the death of Queen Anne. I think it was the 2nd time in their history where the monarch had no heirs and the crown had nowhere to go, though it certainly wasn't the only time they were faced with royals that didn't have kids. You'd be surprised how common that actually was."
"I bet," Amber said with, admittedly, slight disinterest. Kevin smiled when he heard her tone.
"I see I'm boring you."
"A little," Amber admitted.
"Amber, try sitting down to my grandpa lecturing you about the War of the Roses, then we'll see how bored you get, okay?"
"Just because you brought it up, what's the War of the Roses? It sounds romantic at least." Amber smiled, continuing with dishes.
"Romantic," Kevin repeated with a chuckle. "That's cute. It was basically a war started over who was supposed to be the monarch of England at the time. My grandpa and Carlisle had written out a 'simplified', I use that term sarcastically by the way, family tree that we were to reference at all times that explained why everyone was so angry. Although, frankly, it doesn't even really matter who won the War of the Roses, because after his death, his son inherited the crown only to disappear under suspicious circumstances and the crown getting passed on to that kid's uncle, then for the uncle, Edward III, to lose the crown to his cousin a few times removed who married Edward III's niece, Elizabeth of York, to lock down the thrown and then sire Henry the 8th. By the way, Henry beheaded most of his wives and divided the Church of England." Amber stared at Kevin a moment, the look of boredom unapologetic. Kevin laughed. "I see you don't like history."
"I don't like squabbling," Amber said. "For some reason, I imagine this makes a lot more sense on paper."
"Actually, it does. I can draw the family tree out for you if you'd like."
"That's fine," Amber was quick to say and Kevin laughed again.
"Alright, I'll stop," Kevin reassured. "I'll be finished eating soon. Did you want me to help you put anything away?"
"Just this," Amber held up on pan. "It goes on that hook and I can't reach it." Amber pointed at a hook above the stove that was just out of Amber's reach. Kevin smiled and stood from his chair. He was about to do it himself, but then he had an idea and glanced towards the shop. Anna was preoccupied with a customer showing her a wall of candles leaving the customer not looking in their direction either. So Kevin placed his hands on Amber's waist and lifted her up off her feet so she could reach the hook. Amber squeaked just a bit but not loud enough for it to leave the kitchen and giggled while she was dangling above the ground. Once she had hung the pot, Kevin placed her back down on her feet and returned to the table.
Once all the dishes were cleaned and put away, Kevin and Amber walked to the University together to go to the bookstore on campus to look through the selection. There was a great deal more variety to be sure. He went to the section of literature that he was most familiar with, that being the literature of the English variety, and looked through the lines of books with Amber close beside him. They happened upon Dickens translated to German. Yet he wasn't a very big fan of Dickens. He suspected Amber wouldn't care much for them either, but he did suggest them. They moved on to other, somewhat lesser known authors and read through the titles trying to find something that sounded good. Then, they happened upon the Brownings, both Elizabeth Barret and Robert, and Kevin stopped.
"Did you find something?" Amber asked.
"Yes," Kevin said and took out the book. "Poetry by Robert and Elizabeth Barret Browning. Elizabeth was already a rather famous poet and Robert was a very big fan of hers. He wrote her a letter expressing his love for her poetry and, apparently, for her. They met and fell in love and I think they eloped in 1846 if I remember correctly. Then Robert took up poetry and became rather famous himself. Elizabeth even wrote a poem to Robert that's rather well known."
"Did she?" Amber smiled.
"Yeah, she did," Kevin smiled and glanced at the table of contents then turned to the page that held the poem he was thinking of. He read:
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints – I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! – and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death."
Amber couldn't help but sigh when Kevin finished reading. It seemed she was becoming a sucker for all things romantic.
"She really wrote that for him?" Amber asked.
"Yes, she did," Kevin smiled. "I know they had a son, but I think that's it. Robert Barret Browning they named him."
"Did he become a writer to?" Amber asked.
"I don't know I'm sad to say. It may be worth looking into. Did you want to get this?" Amber nodded and they held onto the book while the searched the shelves more. They happened upon more books by Jane Austen: Mansfield Park and Emma. Seeing as she loved the other books she'd read by Jane Austen, Amber eagerly grabbed both books and added them to the pile.
They also happened upon two monster novels Kevin remembered: Picture of Dorian Grey and Frankenstein. He convinced Amber they were good and to give them a read, especially since Mary Shelly had written Frankenstein at the tender age of 17. That really impressed Amber and she added both books to the pile. Kevin refused to say what they were about, wanting to let her be surprised. With her books picked out, Kevin paid for them and they walked back to the shop together. Once they were back, Amber returned to working on the painting from the night before while Kevin started reading Picture of Dorian Grey. However, right away, Amber found it extremely strange.
"Perhaps I'm over thinking this, but the way Basel is describing Dorian seems…sexual."
"No, you're not over thinking it," Kevin reassured. "Oscar Wilde was a well-known homosexual. It comes through rather prominently in the way he writes. I've heard that, apparently, what we're reading now is actually revised. What he'd originally given his editors was far too sexual and he was told to minimize it."
"Ahuh," Amber said awkwardly.
"He was even put on trial for his homosexuality actually," Kevin said.
"A homosexual?" Amber asked.
"Yes, it means people that are attracted to people of the same gender as them. So instead of a man being attracted to a women, he would be attracted to other men."
"Oh," Amber said. "I didn't realize there was such a thing."
"Believe me, there is. It's usually looked down upon. If I remember correctly, Oscar Wilde was accused of seducing a Marquee's son and was openly accused of sodomy. He had two trials as I remember correctly, but he was rather flippant and nonchalant about his trials if I remember correctly. It's rather amusing actually. It's said he openly laughed at his accusers during his trial."
"Is such a thing viewed more openly among your people?" Amber asked curiously.
"Yeah," Kevin answered bluntly. "Love is love no matter where or with whom you find it and it's no one's business but your own."
"I suppose that's the healthy way to see things," Amber smiled.
"Do you not see it that way?" Kevin answered.
"I can't say I've ever thought about it," Amber said. "I've really never had a reason to. I can't imagine it's something so serious as to warrant a whole trial over."
"It was for poor Oscar," Kevin chuckled. "He was a brilliant writer though."
"He's….passionate. I'll give him that."
Kevin chuckled and returned to reading. Amber looked at Kevin strangely again when he read Basel's description of Dorian as he painted him as well as Dorian's description of himself when he saw the completed painting. Though when it reached the portion where Dorian fell in love with an actress and then immediately out of love with her because she was a bad actress, her opinion of Dorian soured considerably. By that point, it was dinner time and Levi had returned home from work. Kevin and Amber remained at the shop largely for the remainder of the week. He finished Picture of Dorian Grey two more days later and, despite Amber's original apprehension, she found herself at the edge of her seat so to speak over it. When Dorian stabbed his own painting and he was found the shriveled monster his painting had portrayed while his painting returned to the beautiful self from before, she was at a loss at what to say. They finished it after dinner, reading together in the living room after Amber's parents had retired for the evening.
"So what did you think?" Kevin asked after he finished reading.
"I'm glad we read that," Amber said. "That was so exciting."
"Yeah, I liked it too when I first read it. So what did you want to read next?"
"Emma," Amber answered. "This was so different from what we usually read together. I'd like something a little more familiar."
Kevin smiled. "Alright. We'll start reading Emma tomorrow."
"Okay," Amber smiled. "Just remember, we're meeting Dahlia and Gertrude for dancing tomorrow."
"I remember," Kevin smiled back. "I'm sorry to tell you, but I only know how to waltz."
"I don't even know how to do that," Amber giggled. "So don't worry. We can figure it out together."
Since they were alone, although Kevin still glanced towards the stairs to make sure, Kevin reached over and gave Amber a kiss. They would sneak kisses here and there, but only when they were sure they were alone. Afterwards, Kevin took Amber to her room and kissed her goodnight before returning to his own room. As promised, while Amber was making candles, Kevin started reading Emma. After the shop closed, Amber and Kevin left, taking a moment to reaffirm they would be back by 9, and went to Dahlia's house where Gertrude and Luther were already waiting. When they arrived, they were only waiting for Charles. He arrived shortly thereafter and they finally went to the jazz club together.
"So, Sergeant, Dahlia tells me you're a lawyer," Charles said to Kevin as they walked to the club together.
"Yes," Kevin nodded. "I've been out of school about over a year now. I'm still working in Connecticut at the moment, but once my little brother has graduated with his medical degree, we'll be returning to Washington."
"Washington is the west coast, correct?" Luther asked.
"Yes, it is," Kevin nodded, "Right below British Colombia, Canada."
"According to what Dahlia's told me, you joined the army at 13, became a sergeant at 15 and won a Medal of Honor, and went to Yale."
"Yes, I did," Kevin nodded at Charles. "The Lieutenant whose life I saved is son to the Dean of Yale and he was able to get his father to pull some strings to get me in. I did the same for my little brother later on."
"Lucky connections," Luther said, impressed. "You're certainly braver than I was when I was 13." The group had a small laugh.
"It wasn't for bravery, I'm afraid. I did it because I wanted more out of my life than what I would get if I'd stayed home."
"And more is certainly what you got by the sound of it," Charles said.
Kevin glanced at Amber and said, "I certainly think so." Amber smiled and averted her eyes while she blushed. "I'm told you're attending University for medicine," Kevin asked Charles.
"Yes," Charles nodded.
"And I saw you at the synagogue this past Sunday right?" Kevin asked.
"Yes, you did, but we didn't get the chance to talk," Charles nodded. "So how did a Jewish woman end up married to a Native American?"
"She didn't," Kevin smiled. "My mother's Catholic."
"Really?" Luther raised an eyebrow.
"Yes," Kevin nodded and Luther shrugged. "I'm baptized as a Catholic, but really my siblings and I are Catholic in name only."
"Is your father Catholic?" Luther asked.
"No, my father was raised with a belief of natural spirits and tricksters. We don't necessarily believe in gods so much as we believe in the spirits that influence nature and that live alongside us."
"Interesting," Charles said. "I also hear your father is a king?"
"The next chief," Kevin corrected. "My grandpa is still chief. My father doesn't become chief until my grandpa passes away."
"I see," Charles said.
"What made you choose law when you got the chance to attend Yale?" Luther asked.
"I decided it was a useful career to pursue for myself and for my tribe. I can stand up for them legally should the need arise."
"How do you like being a lawyer?" Dahlia asked.
"I like it very much," Kevin smiled. "There's never a dull moment, especially these days. The economy's booming and with a booming economy comes a number of legal disputes over money in one way or another."
"More than we can say for Germany," Luther mumbled and Gertrude tugged on his arm.
"Please, Luther, not now," Gertrude said and Luther apologized and changed the topic.
Once they arrived at the jazz club, the music was blaring so loud they could hear it from outside. The band players were in full swing and couples were spinning around together on the dance floor. From what Kevin would see from Jae's and Natalie's memory of the club they went to, this place was the exact same atmosphere. Even the dresses the women wore were what he'd seen in America. Kevin looked at Amber and smiled when he saw the smile on her face. As it turns out, Dahlia and Charles as well as Gertrude and Luther were very familiar with the dances of the jazz scene since they'd been to clubs like this before. Kevin knew only from what Jae and Natalie had told him. All the same, he took Amber onto the floor and danced with her as best as he could from what he remembered. After dancing for a while, they group all went to a table where they got to order beer and received some pretzels. Amber passed on the beer and pretzels and asked for water.
For most of the evening, they all sat together and talked while drinking, but Amber made a point to ensure that Kevin didn't drink too much. However, Kevin did have to end the night when it approached the time when Amber was expected home. The remainder of the group opted to stay just a while longer and Kevin and Amber left the club together to walk home.
"Did you have fun?" Kevin asked once they were outside.
"I did," Amber smiled. "I wish we could have stayed longer. Maybe we could go again soon and we can convince daddy to let us stay out longer."
"We'll see," Kevin smiled. "You may want to be the one to bring it up. I'll just agree to stay out with you and your friends as long as you want."
"I'll ask them," Amber smiled and started to blush when a thought crossed her mind. "This was actually the first date I've ever been on."
"Me too," Kevin smiled. Amber looked up at him strangely.
"Really?" Kevin nodded. "Not even before you'd met me?"
"Amber, I was 14 before I met you," Kevin chuckled. "I was too young to be really legitimately interested in women and by the time I was, I met you. I've been with one woman in my whole life and I'd given her my bread for it."
"You mean a prostitute?"
"Yes, Amber, a prostitute," Kevin answered, still smiling humorously but also really embarrassed about it. Rather than be angry, though, Amber took Kevin's and in hers.
"What was that like?" Amber asked.
"Empty, hollow and not over nearly fast enough," Kevin answered and Amber started to giggle. "It's not funny," he went on even though he was chuckling as well.
"As long as you're still healthy, it is just a little funny," Amber said. "You are still healthy, right?"
"Yes, Amber, I'm still healthy," Kevin smiled. "It was an experience I had once and I never cared to repeat it. Not with the prostitutes anyway."
Amber smiled with a blush forming on her cheeks. "You would repeat it though?"
"Yes," Kevin grinned a little wider and bent down to give Amber a kiss. It was a brief kiss, but it still left her just a little dizzy. "Someday with someone very special, but there'll be time for that later." He gave her one more kiss and Amber continued to look up at him as he pulled away smiling. "Now let's get home." Amber nodded and continued to walk beside Kevin hand in hand unable to get the talk out of her head and feeling giddy.