Chapter 14

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

My hands were all over his skin and they radiated such allaying warmth. This fire was shining bright but it wasn't burning me. The sparks of highest voltages electrified our hearts together.

When Christian pulled me in for a kiss, it was as if our own bodies had their own minds. We slammed the door shut and went to the bed without breaking our deepening kiss.

Before I knew it, our clothes were on the floor. His lips left trails of kisses all over my body and I did the same. Before we knew it, our bodies were united.

I was not a virgin and I've had my fair share of nights that were made of fire, but this moment with Christian felt completely different. It felt like a different universe-it felt as if it was my very first time getting touched. We messed up the bed together and my moans and his grunts created a song that can only be composed by love.

He guided me on top of him and I hesitated, "Christian, I'm not sure, I-"

"Why?" he breathily asked.

"I'm not comfortable with this," I whispered shakily.

"Why?" he asked again.

"My body," that's all I said. I've never done this position before-the one where I was on top. I've never felt the most comfortable of my body. Sure, I was thin, but I wasn't sexy. I wasn't the type of drop dead gorgeous who could give a guy a boner without doing anything.

Christian pulled me in for a deep kiss before saying, "You're beautiful" then began thrusting into me.

Suddenly, the insecurities gradually faded. The way he thrusted into me, his lips suckling on my breasts, and his hands making sensual circles on my waist and thighs, he made me feel like my body was enough-that it was more than enough. With this newly found confidence, I began riding him and it made our movements more pleasurable than it already was.

We were going to reach the peak and he murmured in between pants, "Come with me."

"Christian," I moaned in his name.

"Come with me," he growled this time and together, we reached our climax. He immediately rested his back on the bed while I disconnected my body from his and cuddled next to him.

He kissed my lips before we drifted off to sleep.

Midnight . . .

Our sleep lasted for only an hour because in the middle of the night, I woke up to him peppering me with tender kisses on my face. I woke up smiling and he pressed another passionate kiss on my lips.

Sooner than later, he was on top of me then inside me. I wrapped him between my arms and legs and we completely were surrounded of each other. Unlike earlier, this lovemaking was slow. His pacing indicated that he wanted to savor every moment with me.

Such slow thrusts were so passionate that they fitted my rhythm perfectly. Our movements were in sync. It was like a dance I never learned the choreography to, but my body acted as though its waited for this kind of connection its whole life.

"Christian!" I screamed his name when I finally came and three slow yet passionate thrusts later, he came too. He pulled out of me and wrapped his arms around my body.

He kissed my temples and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "I love you, Ana."

My heartbeat couldn't have gotten faster. "I love you too."

He pressed a light kiss on my shoulder.

Then, I shifted to face him and asked, "What made you change your mind?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, during the Awards Night in the parking lot of the convenience store, you told me that love is not for you. What brought the change? I mean, it's not like I'm complaining," I asked, my voice sounding too husky all of a sudden.

Christian's gray eyes glimmered from the moonlight coming from the window.

He answered, "When you cut me off, I barely slept. When you refused to answer my messages, I was losing my mind. When I went to the office and found out that Dad took you to India, I lost shit. I thoughtlessly booked a flight here just so I could see you again. I can't be without you, Ana."

I was quiet, barely processing all the words he spoke.

"I didn't know what I was doing, but when that fucker Mukesh was hitting on you, I wanted to beat him up. Afterwards, I thought of what Suraj said about building a bridge and your drunken confession of loving me, then it just clicked: I have to give us a try."

"So you serenaded me with a boombox?" I smirked in the dark.

"I see you smirking," he pointed out and I laughed. He continued, "Yes, because you know, I'm not a good singer like Elliott and the last time I sang our song, I passed out."

"Our song?" the joy in my voice could no longer be hidden.

"Yes, our song," he confirmed.

I smiled at that.

Then, Christian said, "In the week of your not talking to me, I watched romcoms myself. I watched Say Anything and that scene where he held out the boombox in the air out her window, it kind of came spontaneously to me."

"You watched romcoms?!" I exclaimed. No, I screamed! I literally screamed.

"Calm down, Ana. Yes, I did."

We spent about half an hour talking about the romantic films he watched. He watched Notting Hill and thought it was charming but the plot was highly unrealistic because he travelled to LA once and a bookstore owner falling in love with a very prolific celebrity stands less than 1% chance. We also talked about Dirty Dancing and Christian made me roll my eyes again when he said that (I've Had) The Time of My Life scene was a bit overrated. I challenged him to lift me up the way Johnny did Baby when we had the chance.

"Of all the romantic films you watched, what was your favorite one?"

"Shrek," he answered and I rolled my eyes for the hundredth time.

He was defensive when he explained, "What, Ana? Shrek is a 2000s film starring two ogres who fell in love unexpectedly. Plus, the sidekick was really funny. I believe he was a pony?"

"No, he's a donkey! His name's Donkey."

"Right, I remember," he said.

We talked more about his favorite romcom, Shrek more and when our conversation died down, Christian closed his eyes and he wrapped his arms tighter around my body. Our legs were tangled together under white sheets paper-thin.

I quietly asked, "Why did you ever think that love is not for you?"

He opened his eyes and I could see the glimmer in his gray eyes.

I waited for him to respond until he was ready to share his story.

"It's because of my mom, Ana. It's because of Grace."

"What about her?"

He confessed, "When I was a child, I thought we had a perfect family. Dad was a successful businessman who travelled all over the world to earn for us. Meanwhile, Mom was the housewife who waited for him to come home. She would take care of me and Elliott and in the rare moments when my Dad was around, we'd come to a park, play with the golden leaves, and just be the perfect family.

But when I was nine, I came home early from school because of a flu then I saw it. It was my mom with our neighbor naked on the couch. Of course, I was only nine but I knew that it wasn't normal. My friends at school talked about sex and I knew what they were doing. My mom saw me, of course and she was anxious and she really begged me not to tell my father. She promised that she won't do it again."

That's when it dawned on me: during the night when Christian and I watched romantic comedy films in my apartment, he said, "Okay, let's look at it this way: for example, you are a hardworking man and you earn a lot of money because of your intellect. You go home to your expensive house and greet your loving wife and kids after a long day at work. You think you have life all balanced out, but as it turns out, you don't. While you get all praises at work and rise to the top, your wife's been cheating on you for years and you didn't even know despite seeing all the signs. Now, who can say that love makes you smart?"

Little did I know, Christian was talking about himself . . . or Carrick and Grace.

His voice cracked when he further confessed, "She told me that she won't do it again but for the next four years, I've caught several different men leaving her room. That's when at only thirteen, I bravely told my Dad about my mom's wrongdoings. I was torturing myself, readying that they'd get divorced and I was bracing myself for it, but what did I get? Dad forgave Mom! He forgave her! He fucking forgave her."

I intertwined my fingers with his, signaling him to calm down which he did.

Then, he looked at me as if passing through my soul, "It was really painful, Ana. Mom may have never cheated on Dad again after I revealed the truth, but it left a scar on me. When I was fifteen, I applied to be a campus journalist but even though I passed the exam and aptitude test, I wasn't accepted because the editor-in-chief's father? He was one of Mom's lovers. No matter what I did or what we did, gossips would circulate. She would be deemed a whore and my Dad would be the one to take all the blame for her."

"Your father loves your mother, Christian," I said.

"Unfortunately, he does. He loves her so fucking much that he refuses to leave the company until I vow to run it in the way he does."

"What do you mean?"

"Dad blamed himself when Mom had affairs with different men. In his attempt to keep the marriage going, he established a publishing company. Knowing how much my mother loves books, he knew it would make her happy. He named the company 'Lotus' after her favorite flower."

My mouth opened in surprise. I didn't expect that it was the story behind the company. "So, that's why you're determined to change the company?"

He slowly nodded his head.

"So you really wrote a romance novel as Carrick asked you to?"

He didn't move and I found that odd but I decided not to press further.

"I'm really sorry, Christian," I whispered.

He told me, "And you know the worst part of it all? Mom tried to make it up to me. Ever since changing her ways, she showed me extra amount of love. She always made sure that I was well taken cared of and since I was so angry at her, I just shut her out. I moved out for college and eventually travelled the world as a journalist and I hadn't answered any one of her calls. Until one day, Dad called and told me that she's gone."

I saw tears rolling down the sides of his face and I wiped them all dry.

"The worst feeling of it all? She made me feel like shit, but I still love her. I still fucking love her."

The way he said the words so vulnerably just made my heart ache more for him. At this moment, I was finally able to understand why he bought my mother and son painting in the first place.

I never knew Grace and I certainly didn't agree with her wrongdoings, but no matter what happens, this fact won't ever change: Grace is Christian's mother and regardless of the things she did wrong, the connection between them will never disappear. Mothers and children have this connection that stay intact forever albeit the cutting of the umbilical cord. This invisible string between mother and child couldn't ever be defied by time or death.

"Shhhh..." I hushed him while he cried and held him closely.

Christian's back rocked back and forth and even trembled like an earthquake, He shared his story as if he never told anybody about it. It's as if he shut himself off. I kissed both of his eyes and later on, our lips found each other once more.

For the third time, we made love that night.

Completely tired from the emotions of one night alone, Christian drifted off to a deep slumber while I laid on top of him. My head rested against his heaving chest, the rise and fall of his sturdiness let me monitor his heartbeat and something told me that he felt calmer now that he finally let it out.

It's the shame of loving someone who did him wrong that caused him to be this cold.

I closed my eyes and found myself worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Christian just broke down as he talked about his past. He just told me that he loved me. There were so many breakthroughs in one night. What if he'll wake up feeling completely overwhelmed the next day?

My anxious heart skipped thoughtlessly. I pressed a feathery kiss on his chest before whispering Carole King's lyrics, "Will you love me tomorrow?"

The Next Day . . .

Just as I feared, I woke up alone in bed with no note or text messages coming from Christian. I sat there, staring into nothing just thinking about last night. I almost texted him, but I decided not to. Last night had been so emotional. I checked the time and it was only thirty minutes before our scheduled day trip.

I got ready in a rush wearing a simple denim dress. Today was all about exploring the city of New Delhi and I was supposed to feel so excited because I was going to be a tourist for a day and not a woman on a business trip for once. However, waking up with no Christian in the room set rain on the cloud above me.

I headed down the lobby and they were all just waiting for me.

"There you are, Ana! Off we go!" Shannon was happy when I finally arrived.

They hired a tour bus to get us around the city and we followed after a van which had the executives inside including Carrick, Suraj, and Christian.

Shannon sat next to one of the newest illustrators so I sat on a row and got a window seat.

"Do you mind if I sit next to you?"

I flinched. I looked back and Christian was already seated next to me. He looked really tired, but he was radiant in his beige suit.

"Christian?!" I gasped.

"Hey, I'm sorry I left so early. We had an emergency back in the office in Seattle and I had no time to leave a note or something. I hope I didn't worry you," he said.

"No, I-what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the van."

He cozied up on his seat and rested his head on my shoulder and I froze.

"I'm right where I want to be," he said.

I looked to my right and Shannon looked like she was about to burst into excitement. She signaled me to rest my cheek on Christian's head and so I did.

The bus started driving us to our destinations. And if he ever heard me ask the question last night, he answered yes. Will you still love me tomorrow? ... Yes.

Author's Notes:

Thank you so much for your kind reviews. This chapter is inspired by Will You Love Me Tomorrow by Carole King. You should also check out Taylor Swift's cover of the song. It's ethereal!

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