Chapter Thirty-Six

Frederick was seething, this was exactly what he had expected and yet hearing the words seemed so much worse than he had imagined. Not in the most but the small part because they were his very fears. He was not good enough for Anne, he did not have title or come from a wealthy family. His name meant something in the corridors of Whitehall but in amongst the tonne – not so much. Anne should be with someone who could keep her in the manner she was raised, a lady. And yet here she was wishing to rough it with him, to live amongst men on a ship, hundreds of miles away from her family and all she had ever known.

And yet, he could not let her go.

He could not believe that anyone could love her more than he did. He would give her a good life; they would be happy and loved. She would be loved above all else.

"Lady Russel-"

Anne begun what was sure to be a long diatribe of reasons why Captain Wentworth was exactly the man who was deserved of her. She had broken his heart after all, let him go after agreeing to be his wife. Spent two long lonely years regretting her decision and wishing him back with her. When low and behold he arrived and not only that, but with the same feelings he had for her before. He had asked her again for her hand, given her another chance at a life she thought she had lost forever. Yes, she could marry someone better, wait for a man with money and title from a known family, one who would provide for her and if she was lucky, care for her and treat her well. She could hope for that, but with Frederick she knew she was getting that. She did not have to hope, for she already had it. She would not lose him again. Would not be persuaded to part with the one man who made her whole.

This time Lady Russel put her hand on Anne's. "However, recently I have been forced to see that although that is the future I would have for you, it is not what you want." Frederick felt the air in the room begin to move again. "You are not as young and in need of my care as you once were. You are of age. And if this man is your choice, and he can provide for you, enough that you would have a maid and one day a house and family." She paused looking at Frederick once more. "Then who am I to stand in your way? Your mind is made up and I can see it will not be easily persuaded. You obviously have your fathers blessing, so I shall give you mine. I shall offer you all the help you require, and I shall be glad to see you happy on your Wedding day. And I hope beyond all things you shall be happy and settled well my dear. Not all of us are as lucky to marry for love, but knowing your mother I know she would be content to know you do."

Frederick knew it was his turn to offer something up in response. "It seems although on the surface we are nothing like one another Lady Russel, it appears in one thing we are in total agreement, the happiness and wellbeing of Anne. I am grateful to you for accepting our match and your offer of help to Anne, in return I should hope you will feel welcome at our home, wherever it shall be. I should not want to take Anne too far away from all those she holds dear. We may not be friends now, but I hope one day soon Anne shall get her wish."

The lady smiled genuinely for the first time since they arrived. "You are correct, we certainly have that in common." The party all silently drunk their tea each content in their own way, until Lady Russel broke the quiet once more. "So where from here?"

Anne smiled broadly and set out telling her Godmother all about their plans and what they had to get done in such a brief amount of time. Amazingly Lady Russel offered to assist Anne wherever she could and even had some suggestions that would help save them time. Frederick still did not trust the woman fully, but he realised he had meant every word of what he had said earlier, deep down they both had Anne's wellbeing at heart and would strive in their own ways to ensure she was happy.

Before long the clock announced it was time for the happy couple to be on their way. They all exchanged their goodbyes with promises of Anne returning to meet with Lady Russel's Modiste to see what could be done in the short time before the wedding. They left a good deal lighter than when they arrived and looking forward to what would happen next.

The next big event for the couple was the trip to see the Crofts. This time it was Anne who was visibly nervous, and no matter how many times both Edward and Frederick tried to assure her otherwise she seemed convinced they should not like her. She was especially concerned about what had passed, her releasing Frederick from their engagement and their subsequent parting. Frederick tried to remind her his sister and her husband were not aware of what had gone on before. He had not shared that piece of information with his sister, she had been away at the time, and it seemed pointless to tell her. Only Edward had known, and he had forgiven Anne much as Frederick himself.

The carriage ride to the home of the Crofts was as tense and uncomfortable as Anne had imagined it would be. Nancy had been left behind to assist Lady Russel with the finishing touches to Anne's trousseau and packing of her things, so Edward was taking the opportunity to not only visit his sister and her husband, but to act as chaperone to the young couple. Even with his added presence and attempt at lightening the situation with his small talk and anecdotes, you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and the silence between his bouts of mindless conversation were deafening.

It was thankfully only a short journey from Monkford to the home of the Crofts, barely three hours, they had settled almost directly between London and Somersetshire. But with the circumstances being what they were, Edward felt a short nap –or at least the appearance of one- was in order. After the fifteen minutes he had filled the journey with his congratulations and talk of their nuptials, Edward drew his hat over his face and feigning sleep, gave the betrothed the time and space they needed to ready themselves for such a reunion as was about to take place.

For her part, Anne was done contemplating what would happen when they reached her new in-laws. Concluding that they would either like her or not, she would still be marrying Frederick, though she hoped dearly they would like her, she had been trying to keep her mind occupied elsewhere. She had been busying herself first with thoughts of the packing and removing herself from the house she had called home all her life. She remembered what it had been like packing for Bath; first with school and then again after her mother grew ill. Both those times she had been loathed to leave and anxiously awaited her return. For the first time, she did not dread packing or worry about how long it would be before her return, she was all nervous excitement and wondering. She wondered what it would be like first aboard the Laconia as the Captain's wife, and then later in her role as mistress of her own house, and finally, god willing, as a mother herself. She longed for a family of her own she could love as her mother had done her and knew without doubt Frederick would make an excellent father. With that she smiled, and her fiancé caught it.

"And pray what has you smiling so serenely Miss Elliot?"

"You remind me of my mother." she replied.

"Do I?" he chuckled.

"Yes. Not in mannerisms, but in the way you see me." He lowered his gaze, his cheeks flushing with pride. "I am not like my sisters." she finished.

He straightened his back. "No, you are not."

"For a long time after my mother passed, I felt… lost and … irrelevant, I suppose. My ma'ma was always pushing me into things and forcing me to be a part of everything. So that people would see me. She made me present. Then after she died, I faded away again. It was easier that way; to let others take centre stage, I did not want attention, to have eyes on me. I was content to let others shine. Then I met you." Bravely she reached across and placed her hand on his.

Frederick glanced at his brother whose face remained covered, his chin on his chest as if in deep slumber, when in reality, Frederick knew he would be only resting his eyes. Not caring either way, he returned the gesture by covering her hand with his own and holding it between his, stroking her wrist in a gesture which was growing increasingly familiar. "Those who did not see you for the gem you are, are fools. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others."

Anne offered him as small smile. "Hush, such flattery is unnecessary."

"But not undeserved."

They held each other's gaze before Anne finally grinned and sat back in her seat. "Actually, I was truly smiling at the thought of myself one day becoming a mother and of you as a father."

Frederick's eyes widened a fraction in response to her declaration and all it entailed before he relaxed. He had no doubt Anne would make an excellent mother; he knew he would look to her for advice on being a good father. As the carriage finally turned down the road that would lead them to the Crofts, he knew one thing for certain, he would never do onto his daughter what Sir Walter had to the middle Elliot daughter, even if it was – as he had claimed- for her own good.

As the carriage slowed in its approach, both felt their pulse quicken. In just a few minutes Frederick would introduce his future wife to his sister and dear friend the Admiral. He knew deep down they would love Anne as he did, but he did worry for Anne that she would not doubt feel the urge to confess their past and that could bring on Sophie's protective side. He hoped they would let him explain and realise that it was not all Anne's fault and that it did not matter anymore as they were now together happily.

As the carriage came to a complete stop, Edward sat up in his seat removing his hat and offering the other two occupants a reassuring smile. He knew the pain and heartache which both had suffered in the past, he could only hope that this time his brother would be spared such torment and allowed to live his life with the woman he loved. He was no less keen to see his close friend Anne happy as well. He hoped his sister and her husband would put the young couple's minds at ease and welcome Anne into their family as he had done.

As it was, none of them need have worried.

For the moment the carriage arrived outside their home, Sophia Croft appeared down the steps greeting her brothers with open arms and linking Anne's arms within hers, led her off to get to know her better, leaving Admiral Croft to take care of the brothers.

Sophia did not stay her speed until she had them both squirrelled away in her parlour. The house although only leased for the time being while they found somewhere permanently, was very grand. Anne surmised they must be putting the Admirals newfound wealth to good use. She wondered if this life would one day be theirs. However, for all her newfound wealth and grandeur, Sophia Croft was humble and kind. She wasted no time in introducing herself as Anne's new sister and that she was sure they would get on and become confidants. She was happy to see Frederick so settled and knew Anne must be special indeed to turn the head of the brother who had gone as far to say he would never have a woman on his ship. Now to arrange for Anne to travel with him wherever he went as he loathed to be parted from her, made it clear to Sophia how much the lovely young lady must mean to her brother.

Once their tea had been served, Sophia settled back into a squishy looking armchair that looked to be more at home in Edwards' cottage than a great house like the one it was in now, but at the same time Anne's could not help but be jealous at how comfy it looked. Much more inviting than her Godmothers sitting room or indeed the large drawing rooms of Kellynch. Anne presumed then that Sophia and Mrs Musgrove would get along well also.

"Now, Anne, may I call you Anne? And you simply must call me Sophie. We are to be sisters are we not?" she gushed seemingly all in one breath.

"Yes. I would like that very much." replied Anne honestly. She could not help but compare Sophie to her own sisters, each with their own merits and faults. They would not be so forthcoming with a stranger or as welcoming. They would not be insisting she call them Elizabeth or Mary, formality for the sake of propriety must always be observed. But as Sophie settled in more cosily into the chair and beamed at Anne, she could not help but admit to herself which she preferred.

"I have learnt a little about you from the Admiral, but not nearly as much as I should have liked. Tell me please, about your home your family. Your likes, your interests. And most importantly how you and my brother met."

For the first time Anne's nerves returned. She felt her smile vanish and her skin grow heated. How could she sit here sharing secrets with her newfound sister when she was keeping the biggest secret of all to herself? The one that could mean Sophie want nothing more to do with her or to have as a sister at all.

"Anne?" she pressed.

"Oh Mrs Croft. I would like nothing more than for us to be friends, sisters, but I could not do so in good conscience without first revealing to you the truth about how your brother and I met."

Mrs Crofts' eyes grew wide but not in disgust. "Go on."

Anne relayed her story of their past. How they first were introduced, brief glimpses of their courtship; her falling in love, him asking for her hand. And the reason why she had to release him, to break both of their hearts. Now and again, she would apologise and ask sincerely for the other lady's forgiveness. Sophia stayed quiet. Anne told of her life over the past few years without Frederick and of his return. Of learning his feelings were just as constant as her own and how their second engagement was nothing like the last. She was older and wiser and more adamant they would be married than anything. She apologised again and finally sat quietly, wiping angrily at the tears that had started to fall during her tale and wishing Frederick was here with her now.

"I see." Mrs Croft said finally and exhaled loudly. "And all this happened while we were at sea? Frederick never thought to tell us."