Thanks to 2brown-eyes!

THEN
NOVEMBER 1991

Wind of Change—Scorpions

"My roommate is a prick, but I met a couple guys at the library who're pretty cool."

Silent tears roll down my cheeks as Scorpions sing about change in the background.

I'm lonely too, but he'll never hear about it. He needs to move on, and that will only happen when he finally lets me go. I haven't replied, though it's killing me not to.

The next letter is even harder to read.

"I'm trying my best, but it's lonely here without you."

The first letter arrived in early September, as if he'd written it before his first class. I'll never forget the excitement I felt when Mom held it up. I snatched it from her and ran to my room. That giddiness shifted to tears when I realized it was a love letter to a girlfriend back home.

It's not healthy.

Or fair.

To either of us.

But mostly him.

He has the world at his fingertips, and I refuse to be the weight that holds him down.

"Please reconsider, Bella. I miss you so much. Can I at least see you when I'm home for Thanksgiving next week?"

It's a rhetorical question, obviously, and I expect him to show up any day. I've already heard he's in town, and the fucked-up part is, I'm not sure if I have the strength to push him away.

I grab up the pile of letters, the closing remark catching my eye.

"Always Yours,
Edward"

Every single one is signed off the same, and it only twists the knife a little deeper. I hastily brush my cheeks and cram the letters into my Adidas box to be never looked at again.

It's a lie.

But once I convince myself, then it can be true.

A ping sounds against the outside glass, and my heart kicks into a gallop. Only one person is known for visiting my window, and the second ping is enough to drag me from my bed. Hesitantly, I pull the gauzy white curtain back, and disappointment is quick to sting when there's no one there.

I should've known.

I would've heard his car.

"Looking for something?" The soft, easy voice that stars in my dreams comes from behind me, and I race into open arms, willing myself not to break down and beg him to take me back on the spot.

Home.

That's the best description I can give. His smell. His strength. Even his height compared to mine; they're all perfection, and I drink him in. I didn't realize until this second just how much I truly missed him.

And in the next, I realize how unfair it is.

To lead him on.

To give him hope.

With one long inhale, I pull away, a polite smile plastered on my face. "Hey, you," I say, drawing my arms around my midsection. "I see you made it back."

"Bella," he murmurs, his eyes going from happiness to worry in an instant. "Please don't pull away. It's been months, and all I've wanted the whole time was to get back to you."

I shake my head, but he pulls me into his firm chest anyway, and I don't fight because it feels too good. "That's not the agreement."

"There was no agreement." His tone is resentful, and I deserve it. If he could hold on to that anger, he might have a chance. "You decided for us."

I don't argue because what can I say?

It's true.

It's also true that I wish time would freeze, so I could stay right here forever. But I can't. I'm feeding the beast, and it's not healthy.

"Please," he whispers against my hair. "Just let me have this. One day, a few hours tops."

A tear rolls down my cheek, even as I nod. "Friends hang out."

"Right." Tension leaks from his shoulders. "I can do friends."

Guilt gnaws at me for opening this door, but I can't help myself. It's easy to resist when he's thousands of miles away, but not so much when he's physically here and able to turn on the persuasion.

Edward Cullen is dangerous in person.

But friendship is a good compromise, right?

I realize it's impossible to imagine why on earth Bella would ever, ever, ever break up with the perfect EC, but it happens in long-distance situations… all the time, all over the country, and even with all the communication capabilities of today.

This Bella, specifically, thought about this when she was only fourteen. It's so realistic for her that it hurts.

Yayyy, you get daily through Thurs (I almost forgot lol)

See ya tmr :)