Voldemort

As soon as the door closed behind Potter, he turned to Severus.

"What happened?" he demanded. "He wasn't supposed to remember those two."

"He shouldn't have," Severus said, frowning. "The potion takes from personal memories. When it has nothing to go off of, it should take current assumptions, and intentions into account. He could not have inserted people he didn't know existed."

"Then who told him," Voldemort demanded, eyes turning to Bellatrix, who was supposed to be at his side all night. A task she'd failed to fulfill.

"Nobody I saw," she answered.

"Narcissa did say he had friends," Lucius told them, "but no names were mentioned."

"That shouldn't have mattered," Severus said. "Without having met them, they shouldn't have appeared in the memories."

"Are you saying he remembers?" Bellatrix asked.

"Hardly," Severus scoffed. "The boy has no Occlumency training. Our lord would have been able to find anything that was there, even if he was trying to hide them."

"So, what happened," Voldemort demanded.

Severus paused, not delaying his answer, but considering the options.

"I don't believe Potter has amnesia."

"You just said his memories were gone," Lucius said.

"From his mind, yes." Severus turned to Voldemort. "Until now, we've been assuming the loss was due to an accident, or a magical backfire."

"That is the normal cause," Voldemort agreed, tone mild despite his ever growing irritations.

"However," Severus continued, "if that were the case Granger and Weasley wouldn't have shown up in his memories. Once again, it seems like Potter is anything but normal."

"So what did happen?" Bellatrix demanded.

"It's possible that his magic is protecting him," Severus said, crossing his arms as he stared at a wall. "Granger and Weasley's deaths broke him. He couldn't function. He wouldn't eat, couldn't sleep. He could barely talk, even his unique version of it."

"You're saying his magic is hiding his memories from him."

Severus nodded once, returning his gaze to Voldemort. "They're not really gone, just misplaced, which is why the potion could pull from it to craft the world around him."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed. "What does this mean for us?"

"I don't have the training to hazard a guess," Severus said. "You would need a trained mind healer for that."

"Will this trigger Potter's memories?"

Another hesitation. "I don't believe so," Severus said. "But, I'd need to research it more to be sure. I seem to remember reading something like this before, but I'll need to read up on it more before I can hazard a guess. Especially where Potter is concerned."

Voldemort nodded. "Lucius, inform Evan of this tonight. I want him watching everything Potter does. If he does begin remembering, I want to know immediately."

Lucius bowed. Severus withdrew a small box from his robes.

"You may as well take this to him," he said. "He'll need to drink it tonight, if he wants to know what Potter saw. If he's pulling from old memories, this step becomes more crucial to our success."

Lucius took the two vials handed him, his own as well as Evan's. Bellatrix got another, and Voldemort received the last one.

"Keep me updated, Severus," he said. "I want to know everything you find out.

Severus bowed. "Of course, my lord."

As soon as they landed, Raven pulled away from Rosier. It meant he wavered a bit before he caught his balance, but there had been too much contact tonight. He didn't want to put up with any more than he had to. Thankfully, Rosier didn't push it.

"I hate that," he muttered.

Evan laughed.

Rosier. Don't let their 'proof' confuse you.

"It's much better when you're in control," Rosier said, his eyes lingering on Raven. "You'll have to ask someone to teach you again." There was a strange tone to his voice.

Raven shook his head, rolling his shoulders. "Kitchen's through there," he waved absently. "Bathroom's down the hall, first door on the left. Guest room's one door after. You'll be there."

"Of course."

Some of the tension eased from Raven's shoulders at the answer. He hadn't thought Rosier would push anything. He didn't seem the type.

If he was going to push anything it would probably be seeing more of my blood.

That disturbing thought in mind, Raven turned toward the kitchen, realizing that the pain in his stomach was hunger. The appetizers circling the party had been miniscule, and he'd lost most of it. He was starving.

I probably left before the meal.

Raven shrugged off the thought. It didn't matter. He hadn't wanted to stay as long as he had anyway.

He heard Rosier follow him into the kitchen, but continued to pay him no mind. The man said nothing as Raven shoved up his sleeves and dug into his fridge.

He tossed a package of ground beef onto the counter, and dug out a loaf of bread, and then a skillet. A couple of burgers would fill him up, and wouldn't take long.

First, he needed to change. Turning, he saw Rosier leaning on the other counter, just watching him, as he always seemed to be doing. Raven paused, catching the man's eyes and wondering what he was thinking. Had anyone ever been able to figure this man out?

"Stay here," he said, breaking his gaze first. He would not be the first to unravel the enigma that was Evan Rosier, and he did not even want to attempt it.

Rosier didn't answer, but he didn't follow either, which was more of a relief, had he gotten farther than the living room before he stopped. Frowning, he turned back, not surprised to see Rosier's eyes still watching him.

"How did we get here?" he asked.

Rosier arched an eyebrow, not moving from his place against the counter. "It's called apparation," he said, slowly, as though Raven were being deliberately obtuse. "You did it with Nott too."

Raven shook his head. "How did you know to come here?"

"This is your house."

"But you've never been here before."

Rosier smirked. "So?"

"So, Nott said he couldn't go anywhere he'd never been. Was he lying?"

"No."

Raven waited, but no other answer was forthcoming. "So, how did you apparate here?"

"I've been here before."

"No, you haven't." He'd have remembered seeing Evan Bloody Rosier lurking around his 'd have remembered Evan Rosier in his house.

Rosier smirked. "You don't think our lord left Nott alone for your protection, do you? You're important to him, Kitten. Only the best can protect you."

Raven blinked. "You've been watching."

Of course he'd been watching. But how? And why hadn't Raven seen him?

Rosier nodded. "Everything. Closely. You were never in any danger. From anything. From anyone."

"Right." Shaking his head, Raven turned away. He should have known better. Rosier was crazy, but there did seem to be a method to his madness.

Just stop asking questions.

In hindsight, his decision not to run right away might have been the best one. If Rosier was lurking in the shadows, he'd have seen Raven leave. He'd have caught him and dragged him back, and the ruse would be over. At least now, he still had the option. Eventually. Once Rosier got bored of whatever game he was currently playing.

Once in his room, Raven closed the door and leaned against it. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply, steadying himself until he didn't feel about to shake apart. This hadn't happened in years.

The foreign memories filled his mind, seeming more real than the ones he'd spent years trying to ignore. He could still feel the pain. The anger. The helplessness … The arousal.

He shoved it away with a shake of his head. He hadn't known this was possible, but he'd deal with it. He could forget everything, just as soon as he got to his vault.

What if this isn't all?

Raven paused, dress robes half off as he stared at the wall in horror. Would they keep coming? Voldemort had said it was supposed to 'jump start' his memories, but he'd expected that to be nonsense.

But, if they can create false memories …

He'd deal with it when it happened. He knew they were false. He could deal with them.

What if I 'remember' being intimate with Voldemort again?

Raven shuddered, but the thought reminded him of the one he'd already experienced. The memory of warmth and a chilling touch. Of lips and hands, and teeth. Rough and tender, and an arousal so painful-

Raven braced himself against the wall as his body betrayed him for the first time in years.

"Forget it," he muttered. "Not going to happen. Definitely not with him."

If there was a person he wanted less in the world, he couldn't think of them, especially not when Raven had never actually done anything with anyone. A few kisses with girls back in Hogwarts before …

"Forget it," he repeated, shoving all the memories back down into the recesses of his mind where they belonged.

He rifled through his clothes until he found something suitable. Too-tight jeans and a t-shirt were most of what his wardrobe consisted of. A hand through his hair mussed it up a bit more than he usually had it, but he was tired, and he had to deal with Rosier still.

Just as he finished, his cellphone rang with an unfamiliar number. He paused, staring at it for a long moment. Who?

Nobody should be calling him this late.

"Hello?"

"Raven?" The voice on the other side was nervous, as though expecting him to deny it. It sounded young. Too young to have his number.

"Yes," Raven frowned, trying to place the voice.

"It's Chris."

He blinked. "Chris? What's wrong?"

"It's Kesa. She was taken to the … the hospital."

"Oh." Raven blinked, feeling the comment like a punch in the gut. "Are you alright?"

He could worry about Kesa later, he had to make sure the kids were taken care of. Was there anyone else who could watch them until she came back? He'd never seen anyone else around. Raven might be the only person Chris could have called, and he'd left his number for an emergency.

This is an emergency.

"We're fine. I think," Chris answered. "Just worried, and … I don't know how to calm them down, or who else to call."

"I'll be right over," Raven said, knowing he wouldn't leave them alone. Not now. Not when Kesa was away. Not when they needed him.

"Really?" The hope in his voice was heartbreakingly familiar. He hadn't expected anyone to come. Not even Raven. How many times had he had that same thought?

Raven swallowed. "Really. I'll have someone with me, but we'll be there soon."

Raven didn't want Rosier around children, but he'd probably at least need to be escorted to the orphanage. He doubted the man would let him go by himself. He'd just need to convince Rosier to leave once they were there.

"Okay," Chris said.

"I'll see you in a few."

He reassured the kid once more before hanging up. He'd do better in person. Maybe. But, he needed to get there for that. How long had it been since he'd tried to comfort anyone?

He slipped his phone into his pocket as he left his room. He could be gone in less than five minutes, provided Rosier didn't prove difficult.

The man was sitting at Raven's small breakfast table, a picture of perfect patience. He'd been up to something. Raven paused, considering his options. Was it worth the delay? Did he really want to know what Rosier had been up to?

"I don't care what you did," Raven said, turning to the counter.

Rosier said nothing.

"I'm going out."

"Where?"

"Not your concern." Raven told him, turning back to the wizard once everything was put away.

Rosier smirked. "I'm supposed to watch you, Kitten. If you're going somewhere dangerous, the Master won't be happy."

He preferred 'our lord' over 'the master', but he wasn't going to tell Rosier that. The little he knew about the man suggested he'd refer to Voldemort as only that forever after.

Raven closed his eyes. "I'm babysitting," he said. "It's not that dangerous."

"Babysitting?" Rosier's eyes lit up. "With children?"

"They are a required part of it, yes."

"I'm coming with you."

Raven paused, but the look in the wizard's eyes said it was a losing battle. And, he'd already told Chris he was coming.

"Fine, but only because I want you where I can see you."

Rosier laughed. "Don't you trust me, Kitten?"

"No."

"Smart of you."

"You'll need to change," Raven said, heading for his coat. "You'll just draw attention dressed like that."

Rosier chuckled behind him, the sound not right, causing Raven to hesitate midstep before pushing on. None of the stories, or the rumors, prepared him for Evan Rosier. He wasn't just dangerous. The man spoke to the animal part of his brain, warning him of a bigger predator. Danger. Run. Flee.

I am no one's prey, Raven thought, unable to sound convincing, even to himself.

Drawing on his coat, he turned as Rosier followed him, robes changed to something more muggle.

"Unlike my colleagues, I have spent time amongst muggles, Kitten"

"Hmm."

Raven did think the nickname a nice touch. It mirrored the 'memory' he'd gotten well, and Rosier managed to say it like he was used to it. It was enough to convince someone of its truth. If they didn't know better.

"It's acceptable," Raven told him. Perhaps not the best outfit to wear around children, but Raven's wasn't much better, so he couldn't complain, or comment.

"Let's go."

He locked the door behind them, easily keeping out of Rosier's reach. Mostly, because the man didn't try to touch him. In fact, Rosier followed behind Raven, perhaps to keep an eye on his 'safety', but Raven was certain he knew the effect he had on people. And he did it anyway.

Maybe it was retaliation for Raven's desire to 'keep an eye on him'.

No one ever accused Death Eaters of being well-adjusted adults

Not that he could talk about that either.

It didn't take long to reach the orphanage, much to his relief. Too much longer, and he might do something he'd regret.

That was unusual for him anymore. Raven wasn't ruled by emotions. Didn't have emotions, and yet, Rosier's presence woke something in him that couldn't help but react.

He's dangerous. His danger wasn't just to Raven's physical wellbeing either.

Raven knocked on the door, waiting until it was answered to enter.

"Raven."

"Chris. This is Evan Rosier. He's staying with me for a few days.

Chris blinked, gazing at Rosier with wide eyes as he drew closer to Raven. "He's from your past too?"

"So they say," Raven answered, putting himself between Rosier and the kid. "Where are the others?"

"Living room. I think Eliza finally stopped crying."

Raven took just enough time to hang his coat up before joining the rest of the children. His shadow trailed after him.

Eliza was the first to call for him, his name broken between sobs as she reached for him. He crossed the room, falling to his knees before her, and drawing her into his arms. She clung to him, muffling her sobs in his shoulder.

He lifted her into his arms to sit. The others crowded close, fear and worry on them all. Desperation for an adult to tell them it was okay.

"Kesa will be fine," he promised, hoping it would be true.

Rosier leaned against the door frame, watching everything, though Raven couldn't afford to worry about that. Not right now.

"Do you know why she's gone?" he asked.

Nine heads shook in answer.

"They said she was sick," Jason said, gazing up at Raven with wide eyes.

"She is," Raven agreed. "But, she'll be back.

Please let that be true.

They nodded, each of them trusting Raven to tell them the truth. Chris and Sarah, the two oldest, stared at Raven like they wanted to, but each of them had known too much grief, had lost too much to trust anyone easily.

"Why don't you all go get your pillows and blankets," Raven suggested. "We'll sleep down here."

"Like a slumber party?" Marie asked.

"Exactly."

"Slumber party?" Eliza asked, one fist rubbing at her eye.

"Well, I've never slept over before, have I?"

Shaking heads were his own answer.

Raven waited a moment, but no one moved.

"Well?" he prompted. "Go get your blankets."

Slowly, they pulled away to get their stuff. Their fear put a vice around his heart. They'd all been through too much. Losing Kesa would destroy them.

As the last child slipped past Rosier, Raven's gaze lifted, meeting the wizard's once more.

"Well, well," Rosier said as their eyes met. "The kitten has surprises even now."

Raven blinked, pushing himself to his feet. He wouldn't put himself at any disadvantages where Rosier was concerned. It was bad enough he knew about this - though if he'd been watching, he may have already known.

"It's surprising that I take care of children?"

He smirked, again like he had a secret he wouldn't share. With a start, Raven realized that the flicker of emotion in him was anger, rabidly growing with Rosier's every action.

Raven turned away. "If you're going to stay, help me move the furniture."

The chair Raven took hold of moved on its own, sliding across the floor until it tapped the far wall. Turning, he saw the other pieces mimicking the chair.

Wizards are lazy.

He turned to see Rosier smirking at him.

"Are you expecting a congratulations?" he asked.

Rosier chuckled. "You are going to be fun."

The words sent another chill down Raven's spin, but even after so short an acquaintance, he was becoming used to it. Rosier looked for that reaction, it seemed, and was more happy when it happened multiple times.

The children returned before he could respond, which was for the better. Anything he said might be taken as a challenge, and Raven didn't want the kids in the middle of that.

Chris and Sarah were the first to return. Both dumped their bedding on a chair and left the room again. Raven watched them go, blinking away his confusion. The others began trickling in before he could wonder too long.

"Good," he praised them softly. "Now, let's set up our beds."

It didn't take long, even without Rosier helping. He just stayed against the doorframe, watching. The kids kept shooting him wary glances as though expecting him to do something. Raven expected him to do something, and the longer he behaved himself, the more tense he became, waiting for the inevitable.

Chris and Sarah returned long before they were done, arms full of more blankets and pillows. He thanked them, taking the offerings to make something for himself as well. The couch was tempting, but he didn't want to separate himself from them even that little bit.

When they were done, a small hand clung to what little excess fabric there was to his pants. Glancing down, Raven saw Eliza bury her head in his leg. Reaching down, he ran a hand through her curls.

"Why don't you go grab a book?" he asked her.

She blinked up at him. "A book."

He nodded. "A bedtime Story."

Children liked stories. He'd never experienced one, but he had memories of Dudley demanding them every night or he'd refuse to go to sleep.

It shouldn't take them long to fall asleep. It was already hours after their bedtime, and all the worry meant that if he could get them to relax, they'd pass out. It had always been true for him.

Eliza smiled, the first he'd seen that night, even if it was a pale shadow of what it should be. She grabbed Jason on her way out, giving Rosier a wide berth. The man never moved as his eyes watched them go, lips twitched up on one side. Eliza never took her eyes from the man, as though she knew how dangerous he was.

Jason barely glanced at him, and let Eliza put him between her and Rosier without complaint.

Raven found himself watching the silent exchange, body tensing just in case. When she was finally out of sight, Rosier's attention returned to the room. Their eyes met over the children. Rosiers were dark, his expression unreadable, but sent shivers down his spine.

Raven forced his attention away to the other children still present. He wasn't Kesa, would never be Kesa, but he could offer some comfort. And, if the worst thing happened, he could offer some defense from Evan Rosier.

It didn't take long for Eliza to return, still skirting around Rosier. It was the first time he'd seen her not like someone. Usually, she was the first to meet someone with open arms and a smile. Something about the Death Eater frightened her, and as much as it saddened him to see it, he couldn't help some relief.

It's better this way.

Rosier was a dangerous man. He'd rather Eliza avoid him.

She passed Raven the book before making herself comfortable in his lap. The other's settled around him. The youngest sat close enough to see the pictures, while the older ones kept their distance more. Close enough to hear, but not as interested in the children's book.

"Green Eggs and Ham?" he asked, reading the title.

"It's her favorite," Joshua said.

It was as good as anything. So, with a final glance at the man still leaning against the doorway, Raven opened the cover and began to read.

The words were easy enough to say, and he had to admit it was fun. Part way through the book, he felt the weight against him become more pronounced, but paid it no mind. They were falling asleep. Stopping too soon might wake them, and he'd have to think of something else to keep them calm and sleepy.

By the time he'd finished, all but Sarah and Chris were asleep. They were both heavy-lidded, but currently awake. As soon as they laid down, he didn't doubt they'd pass out.

Three of the children, four including Eliza, were leaning against him in their sleep. Moving would make someone fall, likely to awaken, and he'd have to start the process all over again.

Across the room, Rosier chuckled, taking enjoyment in Raven's predicament, but made no move to help. Even if he had, Raven wouldn't have accepted it.

"I got them," Chris said, dragging himself to his feet.

Raven let him and Sarah move the younger kids to their blankets. Once he was free, he laid Eliza down, and then helped situate the others.

Between them, it wasn't long before all nine kids were under blankets and drifting off to sleep.

Rosier smirked at him when he crossed the room, but silently followed Raven from the room. Raven's steps were quiet, but Rosier's were silent. He only knew the man followed because he could feel the man's eyes on him. But, the hairs on the back of his neck raised as he fought to look back.

Opening the front door, Raven waved the other out, closing it after them to add one more layer between them and the kids.

"I don't want you here while they sleep," Raven said, not attempting to sugarcoat it. Rosier would see right through it anyway, and he didn't seem the type to appreciate it.

I can't watch you if we're separated, Kitten," Rosier said, still smirking." You can stay outside, if you want." Raven crossed his arms, "but I don't want you inside."

"How would you stop me if I said no?" Raven gazed at him, expectation lighting his eyes.

The words reminded Raven of the memory they'd given him. He'd said the same thing to Ron and Hermione to prove how helpless they were. He said it now to remind Raven how helpless he was now. Without his wand. Without any way to defend himself, or the children.

"No," Raven said. "I'm not doing this right now. It's late. I'm tired, and I do not have the energy to deal with you. You can go back to my apartment, if you want."

"The master wants me to look after you," Rosier said. "I'm supposed to protect you."

"You can do it from outside then," Raven said. "No one's going to look for me in a muggle orphanage."

Rosier's smirk grew. "Very well," he said.

Raven blinked. He hadn't expected the man to give in that easily. He uncrossed his arms, nodding once.

"Alright then." He turned to the door.

He shouldn't have taken his eyes off Rosier. As soon as he did, the man moved, darting forward and grabbing him by the wrist. Raven swung back, free hand going for his knife. Rosier snapped something around his wrist and pulled away before he got it out. He backed out of easy reach, still grinning. Still calm and unconcerned with anything Raven might do.

There was now a thin, silver metal circling his wrist. Raven twisted his arm, looking for the connection, but finding nothing.

"What is this?" Raven demanded, voice coming out in a low hiss.

"Relative freedom," Rosier answered. "Should I choose to allow it, you can now go anywhere without worry."

"That didn't answer my question."

"It tells me your location," Rosier said. "At any time, I will know exactly where you are. And, should someone else manage to find you, there is a portkey built in that will bring you back to the manor. Only I can activate it."

"Handy," Raven said, fingers slipping between the item and his wrist. "You just happened to have this on you then?"

Rosier huffed out a short laugh. "I plan for every eventuality, Kitten," he said. "Everything has gone as I expected it to. Although, I am not afraid to admit you required it sooner than I expected."

Raven felt his jaw clench, but forced it to relax. The numbness would return eventually, but until it did, the irritation was unusual and unwanted.

"How do I get it off?"

"You don't," Rosier smirked at him. "Only the one who put it on can take it off."

A permanent tail. Raven wouldn't be able to get away with it on. He'd be stuck.

"I think I'd prefer the shadow," he said, keeping his voice even to hide just how much he'd prefer that.

"You can slip a shadow," Rosier purred, not moving, but suddenly feeling much closer than before.

Raven tensed, muscles shifting for a fight. His eyes watched Rosier, looking for any sign of an attack. Looking for the moment he needed to move. Looking for an opening.

"Given time, any shadow can be lost," Rosier continued. "The master isn't keen on losing his kitten again."

"I don't belong to anybody."

"You will," Rosier said. "The master will tame you, and you will not run away from it."

"I'm staying the night with children," Raven said, not wanting to go anywhere near that comment. "Why would I run away?"

Rosier's grin grew, dark eyes gleaming under the porch light.

"Not right now," he said. "But, you're biding your time, waiting until everyone lets their guard down. I won't have you disappearing on me yet."

Raven stared, momentarily at a loss for words.

"I have no reason to run," he lied.

Rosier stepped closer, movements flowing from one to another with ease, like the predator his coworkers occasionally called Raven. Raven backed away, keeping space between them. The man's smirk widened into a grin as his back hit the wall after only a step had been taken. Rosier took the opportunity to close the distance, towering over him. Staring down with eyes vacant of sanity.

"Kitten's more resourceful than anyone thinks," he said. "No one else notices, but I do. Your gaze is calculating. You're waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Raven managed, voice softer than he'd intended.

"You remember, Kitten," Rosier purred, pressing a hand against the wall beside Raven's head. "You were never lost. You haven't forgotten anything. You're exactly where you want to be, and you're just waiting for your opportunity to leave us all again."

Raven swallowed, throat going dry as his hand clenched around his knife. If the man did anything, it was going into a kidney. They'd see if Evan Rosier could be as terrifying as he bled to death.

"The master wants you, Kitten," he continued. "And things are more interesting with you here."

His lips closed around his teeth, still smiling, but the look shifted in an instant.

Raven had never been the type to freeze. His fight or flight had always been strong depending on the situation. It had been trained from a young age, and had served him well over the years.

Staring up at Rosier, for the first time in his life, Raven froze, as though that would stop anything Rosier had planned.

"I'll see you in the morning, Kitten," Rosier told him.

Raven just nodded, not moving as Rosier stepped back, putting some much needed space between them. He watched the man stroll away, not looking as dangerous as he was. He spared the briefest moment of worry for anyone crossing his path that night, but had more important things to worry about.

He tugged at the bracelet around his wrist. It was too tight to slip over his hand. If Rosier was telling the truth, he was stuck with it. But, he knew better than to take anyone's word for anything. Not anymore.

Raven leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

Why me?

The fates hated him. It was the only answer he could think of as to why everything always went wrong.

He sighed. "He's not going to say anything."

If he'd planned to, he'd have already told Voldemort. Rosier wanted something else from Raven. Entertainment, probably.

He rubbed his eyes.

"I need sleep."

He also needed food, but that could wait until tomorrow. It wouldn't be the first time he'd gone to sleep hungry.

He took the time to lock the door behind him and turned off the lights on his way to the living room.

"The boy is broken, Albus," Snape snapped. "He's no good to anybody like this."

"He's grieving, Severus," Remus said, more angry than he'd been in while. "He just needs time."

How much time, Harry wondered, before everything stops hurting?

How much time before he got used to the giant hole gaping inside him? How much time did he need before he could forget that his best friends had been killed?

"Grieving, yes, but time will not fix this. He needs help, which none of us can give him."

"There is no one we can trust," Dumbledore answered, sounding old and tired. He'd sounded like that for weeks now, ever since Ron and-

He closed his eyes against the pain flashing through him. He inhaled slowly, opening his eyes only to blink away the fresh wave of tears. If he didn't think about Them, it didn't hurt as much. If he didn't think about Them, then he could be numb. It was all he felt these days. Pain of loss and numbness. He couldn't even get angry at anyone anymore.

He'd lost that … weeks ago?

How long has it been? He wondered. Did he really want to know?

"We must do what we can for him and hope it is enough."

"It won't be," Snape said. "If we leave him be, the boy will die before the dark lord ever sees him again."

Dying didn't sound too bad anymore. It sounded peaceful. Quiet. Maybe he could see everyone again. Maybe everything would just stop.

Maybe the constant ache in his chest would finally go away.

He closed his eyes again, resting his forehead against the wall. They'd see him if they came out of the room, but he didn't care. He couldn't make himself care. Even the growing pain in his stomach couldn't make him move from the wall. He had to go through all of them to get to the kitchen, and there'd be endless comments about 'Harry how are you?', 'Harry, talk to me', 'Harry, you can't keep doing this.'

If he stayed here, he wouldn't need to listen to it.

"Don't say that," Remus snapped. "Harry won't-"

"The boy isn't himself," Snape interrupted. "You don't know what he won't do."

"And you don't know what he will do," Remus answered.

"Harry is strong," Dumbledore said.

Am I? He didn't feel strong anymore. He used to. He used to believe he could do anything. Snape had just said it, didn't he? Harry was broken. He felt broken.

"He knows what he needs to do, and he will rise to the occasion.," Dumbledore told the others. "The least we can do is give him time to grieve."

"You are blind," Snape said.

He heard a chair scratching along the ground. He had plenty of time to move away. To hide the fact that he'd been listening. He didn't. He couldn't make his limbs do anything but hang. Maybe Snape would lecture him. Maybe he could make Harry get mad. Maybe he'd be able to feel something other than this numbing pain.

Footsteps exited the dining room and paused. He felt a pair of eyes on him, watching. Looking. He didn't look up.

A hand grabbed his arm, the grip firm, but surprisingly gentle. He didn't fight it as Snape pulled him from the wall and led him back to the den, sitting him down. Snape stared at him, expression unhappy.

He's never happy to see me.

He stared back, still momentarily numb. It wouldn't last. It never did. The tears would be back. Snape sighed, the air leaving his nose in a rush.

"Potter-"

"Severus." Remus was there, stepping between him and Snape. Snape gazed back, lips pursing in open displeasure.

"Leave him alone," Remus said. "He's tired."

"He is not tired. He's depressed."

"He's grieving."

Snape sighed again. "Very well. I wash my hands of the matter."

He looked at Harry once more before turning on his heel and striding away.

He wondered what Snape was going to say.

in. "Very well. I wash my hands of the matter."

He looked at Harry once more before turning on his heel and striding away.

He wondered what Snape was going to say.