Chapter Five: Walter the Vampire Slayer

-Administration Department, Accounting-

Although most of the employees had gone home in the accounting department, three men stand in a circle by the water cooler. The mysterious Vector employee lured Allen and Togashi to the accounting office to open up more to the men. The walls after all, had many eyes and many ears. "You boys mentioned in the cafeteria that we have a vampire on this ship," stated a man with a dramatically deep gruff voice similar to an action hero. His voice somewhat mismatched his appearance, the man having a middle-aged man's bod to go with his copper brown eyes, olive skin, and a brown mullet. He had a large set of glasses over his eyes, while the rest of his outfit looked normal for a standard Vector employee. "Yeah, we did say that. So, are you going to tell us who you are? Or" Allen asked from behind the mysterious stranger.

"In a moment," The mysterious Vector employee interrupts. He types in a code from a secret compartment behind the water cooler. A room opens up from behind the water dispenser, the man ushering Allen and Togashi inside. When the two men stand inside the secret room, they stare awestruck at the walls around them. The door behind them shuts tightly, dim lights blink on, guiding their eyes to the 'evidence' boards and weaponry around the secret room.

"Where-where did you get the funding and permits to build this?" Togashi asked amazed.

"Silence! I mean- I have accumulated this through years of hard work and sneaking off extra resources from the weapons portions of your division…courtesy of Miyuki," The mysterious employee adds in the last second.

"Hey! You can't do-"Mr. Ridgeley! What I am doing is a favor to all our departments here on the Dammerung," The mysterious man interrupts Allen again. "For you see, gentlemen. Your suspicions are correct! Our CEO for Vector Industries is really…a SPACE VAMPIRE!" Dramatic music plays in the background as they look around the room. The man then says, "Oh don't worry, that's just my music player kicking in. I asked Miyuki to program it for me, so I'd keep quiet about her secret inventions."

"Okayyyyyy, so why did you bring us in here, um, you?" Allen awkwardly asks the stranger.

"Oh right, I didn't tell you who I was. I am…Walter Calvin! Vector Industries Administrative Department Accountant, and Expert Vampire Hunter!" The man strikes a pose for the camera as a fan billows his mullet in the makeshift wind.

"You might want to change your battle cry there," mocked Togashi.

"I brought you guys in here because I knew I could trust you! Finally, somebody believes me about Vector's CEO being a space vampire."

"I'm just happy I'm not the only one," Allen replies with joy.

"So, you know how we could stop Wilhelm's reign of terror, Walter?" Togashi eagerly asks without chuckling at the guy's name. Walter narrows his eyes at Togashi and pulls up a hologram of diagrams and crude drawings of the CEO.

"Based on what intel I have on Wilhelm he has run the company for years with little to no sleep. He presents with almost ALL the signs of a classic space vampire. Pale deathlike skin, spooky red eyes, appearing only at night, his never changing youthful appearance, and he even has minions from his past 'feeds' hanging out at his 'vampire's nest'." Walter continues to scowl his eyes at the multiple pictures of the CEO that lined his walls. Allen and Togashi admired his impressive shots of the reclusive Wilhelm in his office, appearing unaware of the accountant's secret hidden camera. They could see shots of the CEO throughout his daily routine, followed by shots of different men dressed up in the same costume but in different colors interacting with the CEO during the day.

"It is either that, or he is in a gay polyamorous relationship involving some really elaborate role playing," mumbled the accountant.

"I think we would rather go with the space vampire nest theory, Walter," Allen's face contorts into discomfort.

"So, gentlemen, will you help me destroy the vampire and his nest before they claim more victims?" Walter asks.

"Hell yeah, let's stop him!" Allen and Togashi reply in a battle cry.

"Excellent, my brothers in arms! Now that we have reached an agreement, we must prepare a plan to strike the vampire as soon as possible," Walter sits down on a bean bag chair pondering with the Vector scientists.

"We could feed him garlic. I remember in one of those movies the vampire hated garlic."

"That was a movie, Togashi, we need to think of something else." Allen complained.

"What, like all your ideas are not from movie too, Allen." Togashi argued.

"Gentlemen, please. Allow me to clear the air by saying the most accurate information known about vampires. Some knowledge collected about the monster is lost to ancient times, but what human have left indicate the vampire has been known in many cultures for centuries. I have concluded the vampire is best depicted by the Chinese. Vampires are reanimated corpses that hop around, killing living creatures to absorb life essence or chi from their victims. They are very pale creatures said to be created when a person's soul fails to leave the deceased's body. Though I disagree that the vampire is usually represented as mindless creatures with no independent thought, given this 'vampire' seem cunning enough to keep himself hidden for untold centuries-"

"-and to control our paychecks," Allen shushes Togashi listening to the wise vampire hunter.

"He fits the profile of the vampire appearing sensitive to sunlight and appearing only at night during sleeping hours. Reasoning with such a creature would be pointless if he targets you for a meal. The only option is to kill it, and the vampire can be killed in several ways. One way is to drag the vampire into sunlight so it will burn into dust."

"But the sunlight here isn't really direct sunlight. We're basically under a giant set of lightbulbs that turn off at certain hours."

"I know that, Allen." Walter sighs with a sweat drop forming on the side of his head.

"Our next method would be to break out the silver. Using silver is a bit like a blend between sunlight and a wooden stake. It doesn't work as well as either of those two options, but it has advantages of its own. First of all, unlike sunlight, silver is highly portable. You can carry an item of solid silver (make sure it's real, solid silver please) with you easily. Secondly, it won't kill a vampire stabbing it in the heart with silver (as it would using a wooden stake), but it will slow down the healing process enough for us to kill him like with a stake for example."

"Great! Let's go buy some silver," Allen smiled.

"About that...there's not a lot of silver around these days. Apparently, the Galaxy Federation doesn't have much gumption to mine the stuff or something, so, I've been 'collecting' silver from various places around the ship, though not very much could be found. Like I found a couple of silverware, random people's decorations, jewelry, and a pair of handcuffs."

Walter pulls out a set of silver handcuffs from his pocket while Allen and Togashi gawk at his admission of theft. They chose not to ask where he got the handcuffs.

"So what else can we do to stop Wilhelm?" Allen asked.

"Well we could light him on fire continuously, but unfortunately, I won't get my flame thrower in until next week." Walter pouts. "So we're stuck with stabbing him with a wooden stake?" Togashi asked.

"Yes, and also decapitation." Allen and Togashi turn purple thinking of the gruesome method as Walter scoffs. "Come one, gentleman, killing vampires isn't pleasant business, but this is something that must be done. For the sake of our friends and family." Togashi frowns thinking of his parents and younger brother fearing they would one day be victims of the vampire nest, while Allen pats him of the shoulder nodding with determination.

"He's right, Togashi. We can't let squeamishness get the better of us. If we want to keep everyone safe, we need to use what's necessary to take down Wilhelm. Though I gotta ask, how are we even going to get close to this guy? It sounds like he has topnotch security around him the majority of the time." Allen eyeballs the photos on the wall trying to brainstorm a plan.

"I have a idea for handling the security, i.e., the vampire minions of his." Walter in swift motions lays out a plan in front of the two moving his glasses up his nose with a proud smirk.

"In this plan, we would need to do the following: when sneaking to the entrance of the vicinity, one of us will slip an electrobomb onto the floor and incapacitate his minions with a strong electric shock following by garlic scented tear gas. I should warn you; those garlic tear gases REALLY smell. Anyway, after that, all three of us will stealth our way through the quarters looking for his coffin, or perhaps wait until we catch him relaxed and off guard. Then, we spring into action with two of us holding him down while the third one aims for the chest with the stake and hammers it into his undead heart."

"Oh man! Just like in Dracula!" Allen shouts amazed.

"But before all that, we need to do one very important thing."

"What that-?"

"Training montage!" Walter poses for a nonexistent camera as a second room appears behind him. Allen and Togashi stared mouths agape with shock and amazement at the secret room within the secret room. The two look around to see the various weaponry lined the walls with targets marked on the other side of the room and a virtual headset for fighting fake enemies. Beside the encephalon headsets were a video game program for Castlevania.

"You said Miyuki has helped with build all of this?" Walter watches the shocked men staring and replies with pride.

"Well, not this part. This was my hobby in my spare time. Now, now it will be our training ground for us to prepare. Come Allen, Togashi, let us train for our epic showdown with the dreaded vampire himself. But first, a little safety training with some of the equipment." Walter attempts to redirect the men to some of the weapons about to explain how each one worked when Togashi without thinking, decides to pick up an innocuous and round paperweight.

"How is a paperweight a weapon? Can we use it to chuck it at his head?" Walter's voice cracks in fright at his reckless action and shouts,

"Wait, Togashi! That's the electrobomb-"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The three men accidently stun themselves as the shock bomb activates in the accounting office. A pretty blue light illuminates from the glass walls of the office entrance as two people pass by overhearing the screams of pain. The couple walked slowly hearing the shouting and groans coming from the Accounting Department, with one of them picking up the sound of their brother whimpering.

"What was that?" Replied one of the teens.

"I don't know. I don't think I want to know. But what I do know, is that we should go before your folks notice you're gone," Replied the other. The young man pushes his date out of ear shot from his embarrassing older brother and friends, running her out of the eyeshot of the weirdo from accounting.