A few more days of this and it should be great! Although, it would be better if Ford was here. I've been feeling pretty lonely lately. I mean, I've been getting plenty of tours done. I even started to learn people's names! For instance, the lady with the weird makeup, and the one who got sparked by the weird box thing, her name is Susan. Lately, the townsfolk have been calling her 'Lazy Susan.'

I think the ugly man with the weird voice was...Ty, no, Toby. Toby something with a d.

Anyway, these tours have been going great and the townsfolk are really friendly but, it's just not the same. It will never be that same. The only person who really understood me was Sixer. I mean, mother got me...sometimes...but even then, no one knew me, no, KNOWS me, as well as Sixer. Sixer was-is the only person I can talk to. He's the only person who understood my weird references and my weird humor. I once told him that I found a dead rat floating in a bucket. Mother would've brushed it off. Dad would've told me to 'be a man.' That 'men don't talk bout dead rats and buckets' or whatnot. But, Sixer...he just laughed about it. Sixer is the only person who understands, and now he's gone. Maybe he's dead. Maybe I can never bring him back.

No, I can't think that way. Sixer never gave up. In fact, he always told me to keep going, even when life is rough. Dad never liked me much. He always preferred Poindexter over me. Sixer was the only person I could count on for a friend. I have to bring him back, even if I die doing it.

Lying on Sixer's bed wasn't helping anything either. I thought it was supposed to comfort me but all it's done was give me anxiety. What if he doesn't come back? What if I die before I can see him again? What will I even say to him? Will he be happy? Will he be dead?

I need to get out of this room. This room isn't helping a thing. I'm too busy right now. I'll have to do it later. There's no time. I have to prepare for another tour but I can't find my pants. Oh well, I'll do it later. I can just close shop today.

These tours are nice and all but the townsfolk see the same stuff every day. They need some new things. Some...variety. Maybe Sixer's weird nerd book can give me some ideas. If I'm lucky, I can probably even find a way to bring him back.

I sat up, knocking the blanket off. Where did I put it?

I got off of the couch...bed...thing, and walked to the counter. Ah, here it is. If Sixer was planning in making more books, why didn't he write where he was going to hide them? It would make it so much easier to save him from whatever he's going through right now! Ah, I guess that's Ford. He doesn't plan ahead all to well, but he does seem to like mysteries. If only he had put some sort of clue.

Poindexter has this weird writing on some of the pages. I have no idea what it is but it has to be something. I've checked a lot of code cracking books but none of them have this weird code. My best guess is that its a 'substitution cipher' but I don't have a key. Which is very annoying because he might have put some clues in there about the portal.

There is this page on...'weremaids...' Maybe these...ugly things...could work as another attraction? It just looks like...ugh, ew...gross! Actually, never mind! Let's find something else to use.

Unicorns? Maybe. Maybe unicorns can work. Let's see. A deep voice to do an ancient chant? Hah! I guess that's out of the question! I'd like to see Sixer try and do that! He squeaked when he got nervous! I'll need something else. Something no one has ever seen before. Like a...unicorn...corn...cornuni...cornicorn. Yeah, that's it! A cornicorn! A unicorn made of corn!

What am I thinking? That's stupid! I'll need something better! Something bigger! I flipped a few more pages again hoping to find something better...maybe I should go small. It might not even work. People are crazy for new, exciting stuff but...all these ideas are crazy. A weird...human...thing sewn to a fish's tail is...wait! Actually that might work! I'll call it...I'll call it...actually, I don't know. I'll work on it.

I ran out of Poindexter's bedroom with his book and into the living room. Inside of the tank behind the chair is a large fish. It's a dead preserved fish, which is pretty creepy. I put gloves on and pulled it out. Ford has all sorts of weird things in here, like this weird alien...human...whatever thing in this jar. I unscrewed the jar and pulled out the thing. I put a newspaper down on the counter and put the dead fish and dead whatever thing on it. I shuffled around the house for a little while trying to find his sewing kit. I know he has one. I've seen him fix his turtle necks a few times. Sixer and his turtle necks. I never understood why he liked those things.

Aha, here it is. Under the sink in the bathroom...weird spot to put it. Oh well. Sixer's always put things in strange places.

I started cutting off the head of the fish and the legs of the thing. The thing had bones to go through but it wasn't that hard otherwise. Then, I started sewing the fish tail and the thing's head together. This ought to make something useful. Or at least...creepy enough to fit this place anyway.

I ended the string and cut it off. It's...horrible. It's so creepy...It should work...if I'm lucky.

I went to put it back in that tank behind his chair. I'm going to have to move that before I get nightmares. I walked around the chair and began pushing the tank somewhere else. Anywhere else than behind this chair. Where ever it may be. Just don't give me nightmares.

I pushed it out of the room. There, good enough.

I sighed. Sixer's gone and he won't be coming back. Not until I can find the rest of his nerd books. Until then, I have to do something to cover him. He's not on earth anymore...I don't think.

Mom would be asking where he went after a while and she'll probably ask about me. I need to figure out what to tell her. I can't just say, 'Hi, you've reached Stanley Pines. Yeah, I kinda pushed m only brother into a portal for all time and eternity until I can bring him back. Until then, I'm taking over his home, keeping his house in good condition, and living in this weird cursed state that I'm not banned from until I can bring him back because I am not leaving until I can find his other two nerd books he wrote about this place and save him!' That's just wrong. Plus, she'll never believe me anyway.

I need something else. Something that mom won't know he left. I need to stay here until I can get him back. I've already taken his name in Gravity Falls.

That's it. If I've taken his name here, I can take his name everywhere else. Sixer and I used to play this game where we would wear each other's clothes and act just like each other to drive our parents mad. It was fun. Why not do it now? But, if I take my brother's name and identity, what am I going to do with mine? Mom would get worried if she hasn't heard from me in a while. Dad wouldn't care. Shermie would probably get concerned after a while. He is old enough to remember me and Sixer.

The only way to take my brother's identity is to get...rid of mine. I sighed. Desperate times call for desperate measures. If taking Sixer's identity means killing Stan...then so be it.

I picked up the phone and dialed for a rental car. After a minute of the phone beeping, someone finally picked up. "Hello?"

"Yeah, hi, I need a rental car. You have one?"

"Yeah, what's the price range?"

"Something cheap, but drivable. I don't have much."

Silence for a minute. "Okay, it'll be seventy five sixty." I pulled out my wallet. In total, I counted two hundred seventy eight. "Okay, that works."

"Alright, sir, what's the address?"

"Address?" I asked.

"Yeah. We need to bring your car over."

"Could I just pick it up?"

"If you want to walk."

I narrowed my eyes. I could walk but then there would be no point in going to the car rentals when I could just walk myself off the cliff. I have to make it seem like someone was purposefully trying to kill me, otherwise dad would never believe it.

"Okay, fine. 618 Gopher Road."

"City?"

"It's more like a town," I responded. "Gravity Falls."

"Okay, gotcha. The car will be over in a few minutes. We'll let you know when we arrive."

"Thanks."

"Don't thank us yet. You can thank us by paying, and in full."

"Yeah, yeah, right. Whatever." I hung up.

I paced back and forth in the Gift Shop. This should work. It has to work. I have to make sure no one sees it. I'll have to use the car all day, to make it seem like I was driving. No wait, I can cut the gas pipe to make it loose gas. I'll need pliers too.

I can cut the brakes and have the car zoom down a highway and off a cliff into the mountains and the ground below. There's a map of Gravity Falls in here. I'll take a look at that.

Highway 22 doesn't have any cliffs. It's just flat land. Interstate 22 is the same. Avoid interstates. Those are pretty flat here. I'll need a mountain pass. Like Highway...618. Highway 618 is a mountain pass which lead to a plummeting cliff. That should work. Now, pliers.

After I found pliers, I went to hide my car.

A few minutes past and the guy knocked at my door. I opened it. "618 Gopher Road?" he checked.

"That's me."

"Here's your key," he said, tossing, and I do mean tossing, me the key. "Drive responsibly."

I handed him the money before he left. Then I waited. Once he lowered the car from his truck and drove out of sight, I walked outside the house. I locked the door. I don't want anyone coming while I'm out.

I hopped into the car. This has to work. This has to be very believable for dad to believe. I have one shot at this. If I crash the car, and it fails, then I can't borrow another. Okay, Stan, you got this. Just drive to the edge of the mountain road.

I drove off of Sixer's property and into the mountains. I brought the map with me as I'm still getting used to these streets.

Eventually, I made it to the highway, and in time too as it's nearly six in the morning. This should work great. As long as no one sees me cutting the brakes and pushing the car off, this should work just fine.

Five minutes past and I made it to Highway 618. I pulled over to the side of the road and hopped out of the car. I checked around for anyone. No one. Coast clear. I went over to the trunk and pulled out the pliers. The gas in the car was only half when I got it so I don't need to worry about that.

I closed the trunk and walked over to the car. I used a flashlight and shone it under the car. Ah, there they are. Alright pliers, don't fail me now.

I reached my hand and the pliers under the car and began snipping at the brake cables. A few more should do it...

There. Now I need to drive the car off of the edge of the mountain. I emptied out my pockets and put my license in the glovebox of the car. I put about twenty dollars in the glovebox as well. This should be enough to prove who I am. Now to drive off the cliff. Don't fail me now, car.

I hopped in, started the car, put it in drive, and got out. I pushed the car from behind, moving it enough to drive downhill. I ducked in some bushes and watched the car drive faster and faster downhill until it broke through the fence and fell. There was an explosion, not my original plan but at least it'll cover up the part behind no body.

I ran along the highway for a bit until I came to a gas station. I pulled off the pay phone, payed, and then dialed the 911. "911. What's your emergency?" the lady on the other side of the line asked. I need to cover up my voice. I moved the phone away from my mouth, cleared my throat, and then returned the phone to my ear. I used an old man's voice to answer, not as raspy, a bit like Sixer's, but shaky. "I just saw a car drive over the side of the cliff."

"A car? Okay. Can you tell me what road you saw it on?"

"Do you think they're okay?" I asked the other end. I need to change my whole persona.

"Okay, just calm down, sir. Do you remember what road you saw the car fall from?"

"It was-it was-it was them Highway, uh, 618," I replied.

"What town are you in, sir?"

"Gravity Falls, Oregon," I said in a shaky voice.

"Gravity Falls, Oregon. That small little town?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"You said Highway 618?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Thank you, sir, we'll be on our way as quick as possible." She hung up.

It's done. My death will be announced in the news papers soon. Now I can actually keep up Ford's existence and keep his place running until he comes back. I'm the only one who can. I have to.

Author's Note

I wanted to show Stan's vulnerability in the cover. It was hard but I managed to get it.
Anyway, sorry about the long chapter. It just wasn't getting any shorter. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the rest of it!