26. Foolish
My throat goes dry. Because what Peeta is saying makes no sense. And at the same time, it is the first time, since the war, we've spoken about it. His time imprisoned in the Capitol. This is the Freedom Ball, I think, we aren't even supposed to be talking about this. And another thing, if he was imprisoned how did he have the chance to meet anyone? Let alone, a girl who looks as if she'd never even been sent to her room in her life, let alone imprisoned.
I am just about to speak again, ask him my question, when Peeta clears his throat with a slight nod of his head. I glance beside us and see that standing there, looking down at us menacingly, is one of the Capitol guards. They are on strict orders to remove anyone heard speaking about the Games or the war. I imagine myself and Peeta being carried up the stairs as Effie looks on mortified, screaming "There was only ONE rule!"
The question dissolves in my throat and Peeta smiles at me guardedly, before twirling me away from the guard. Leaning his head down he is answering my questions about the girl with hurried whispers that tickle my ear.
"When I was in the cell, sometimes they'd leave us for days without water. Without food, or anything. One day, to this day I'm not sure why, Ilaynia brought me some water. After that, whenever they'd finished with me, their rounds of torture or questioning, she'd always bring me something. A roll. A piece of fruit. Anything. She'd talk to me through the bars, try to keep me…sane. It went on for weeks, until finally, I guess one day they caught her, after that I never saw her again."
I am listening intently and nodding shuddering gently at his words of torture and starvation. My poor Peeta. I hug him tighter as he talks but he doesn't seem to notice. It hurts to think that she was bringing him anything. Helping him in any way that I couldn't. I am vaguely aware of couples slowly moving away from us, murmuring in soft nostalgic voices as they watch us joyously. They think we're some romantic couple clinging to one another for life. If only they knew.
"After the war, she wrote me, said that she wanted to know how I was and if I was okay. We wrote back and forth for a while and when she mentioned that she would be coming to the district, I offered her to stay in my house." The pang of jealousy.
"Why?" I ask, but I feel so petty. Why wouldn't he? She helped him when no one else would.
"Because I wanted to see her. And I wanted to thank her. And…" his words trail off and he tries to move his lips away from my ear, but I pull his head back against my ear forcing him to finish.
"And what?" I ask, expectantly, hopefully, though not sure what I am hoping to hear, I know what I am hoping not to hear.
"And…I was lonely, Katniss." He says in a sad voice, which makes me want to cry. Yes. I knew this, but I did nothing about it. Just stared up at his large, lonely house, unwilling to offer any help. I am angry again, but now it is at only at myself. Why didn't I just ask him to dinner? Even once? Why have I been avoiding him, like such an insensitive moron?
"Oh." I say, and he lifts his head up, his smile, sad and uneasy. "So that's that." He says in sure voice resuming his normal tone.
We spin quietly until I say again, unable to stop myself from wanting to know "Then why did I hear music?"
Peeta frowns thoughtfully as if trying to remember and then says "Oh. Ilaynia, was just teaching me the latest Capitol dances. For the Ball." For the Ball. So, I guess that's why they were together all night. Dancing their practiced dances.
I feel completely idiotic, but as usual Peeta says nothing to further my embarrassment and allows my second utterance of "Oh." to end the topic.
In a few moments, Peeta whisks us toward the side of the room near the tables that line the walls. Although we are no longer dancing, Peeta still clings to my hand, glancing down nervously, his mouth is just forming words when we are disturbed by a small but booming voice. "Peeta Mellark?!"
We both snap in the direction of the interruption, and I vaguely recognize the small brown face with the dark brown eyes.
"Obadius?" Peeta says and the short boy reaches out his hand pulling Peeta into a hug.
"Sorry to disturb you." The boy says bowing his head slightly to me apologetically, and I think of this same head bowing in the district. Yes, he is one of the boys from our village. Possibly one of the ones who lives in the Capitol now, because I don't remember seeing him in forever. "Mind if I have a word with our friend, here?" Obadious asks me, in that apologetic tone that people used to use when they interrupted Peeta and I. Fake Fiances.
I think of Peeta's words a moment earlier "Two. You and Ilaynia."
And I say with a curt tone. "Of course not. Peeta always makes time for his friends." before the guy whisks away Peeta, who is clearly oblivious.
Again, I walk over and linger by the food table staring out at the floor, and all of the couples. I unconsciously scan the floor for Johanna and find her dancing jovially with Gale. Like lasers her eyes find mine and she is smiling widely waving at me. I smile back waving absently. I see Gale glance over, but when he sees me, he quickly turns away and soon he and Johanna are out of my sight once more.
Afterwards, I notice Plutarch dancing with a woman who is unrecognizable, her face painted a ghost white, and her lips charcoal black. Her giant yellow wig sits atop her head like a melon and she causes me to shudder at the thought of all that hair on my head. These ridiculous Capitol fashions, I think for maybe the hundredth time, and again gaze across the floor.
Finally my eyes rest on Haymitch, still dancing in his frenzied and unbecoming fashion, only instead of the redhead-well, Ilaynia-his victim is a red-faced Effie, who looks exhausted to say the least, but also seems somewhat afraid as she steadies her silver wig with one hand, while gripping Haymitch's flailing arms with the other. I laugh lightly at the sight and turn to the table, popping a grape in my mouth when I hear the voice, thin and wispy. "I didn't know that I would ever escape."
I glance up and am staring into the eyes of Ilaynia, whose skin is almost luminescent. I almost swallow the grape. For a moment I just stare at her, unconsciously surveying her frame. She is thin, very thin. But not unhealthily so. If she's starved at all, it is of her own volition. Yet her hips seem especially defined in the beautiful orange dress. It whips around her breasts and hips in a frenzied fashion. Almost resembling fire. But not a regular burning fire. An inferno.
The colors are depicting a tornado of fire all-consuming and abrasive. Her skin, a smooth tan and shimmering tone, that I am sure is sprayed on, as it is unlike the pale tone I first remember seeing, is nonetheless, radiant. And then her eyes. They are blue, but not like Peeta's. His are a soft gentle blue, like the morning sky. Her eyes are ice. So light that, I imagine they are clear in direct sunlight.
As I study her face quickly-as close to mine as it has ever been-I take in her soft features, slightly rounded pink lips, and smooth dainty nose. When done, I feel another pang of jealousy as I realize something: this Ilaynia, is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.
"Hi." She says in a lazy pretty tone. Even her voice is elegant. I eek out in a strained whisper
"Hi." And feel utterly judged in my brown dress cloak and plain un-shimmering skin. Beauty base zero. Great idea, Katniss.
"I'm Ilaynia, as I'm sure Peeta told you. I have so wanted to meet you, but Peeta thought it best we leave you alone." She says in a nice tone, but her words cut me to shreds. Peeta thought it best. We. I feel sick.
"Well, Peeta doesn't know me as well, as he thinks he does." I grumble before realizing that I probably sound odd. Then again, Peeta and my united front was only ever a rule for President Snow's Capitol. He's dead. I can sound exactly as I like. Ilaynia looks at me with curious eyes saying
"Oh. I would've thought that he knew you better than anyone. Being that your love story is so infamous. What was it that Caesar always used to say…?" She places her small hand at her lips pointing up daintily, in thoughtful silence. "Ah, yes! "Peeta and Katniss, the only victors whose love story eclipsed even the Hunger Games!" her voice rises in a theatrical and mocking fashion, and I have the odd feeling of some underlying joke that is intended. Surely, I am mistaken, why should she be making any jokes at my expense? Still, I can tell now that there is something about this pretty girl that I just don't like. And for once it has nothing to do with Peeta.
"Well…" I say feeling suddenly defensive of mine and Peeta's story, even the made up one, "It wasn't exactly like that." Ilaynia laughs a quick knowing laugh
"Oh believe me, I know. Peeta told me all about President Snow's forced betrothal. And of course, the "toasting" that never was." She nods towards my left hand's fingers, absent of a wedding ring, while she is busying her hands by pouring a glass of wine. She offers me one but I just shake my head in answer. She drinks a sip down slowly before saying lightly "But let me tell you," she adds a wink and a little nod of pride
"Regardless of what Peeta told me you think, I'd say you're really quite the actress." Now, I know that I am not imagining it, there is something under her words. Something familiarly cloying and bothersome.
"It wasn't all an act." I say defensively, "I always cared about him." I say, and her smile nearly blinds me, her teeth no doubt unnaturally, white.
"Care. Yes. But love? Love made for a much better story, to be sure." She shrugs absently "Then again, that's probably why the story was so believable to the viewers. After all, who ever doubted Peeta's genuine love for you?" No one, I think, and I smile lightly, thinking of Haymitch's words "You could do a lot worse than him."
"See." She says glancing at my smile knowingly, as if we have some shared understanding "I told Peeta that you knew that you had nothing to worry about." She finishes with a wave of her hand and another saccharine smile. I look at her curiously. "
What do you mean?"
"Oh. You know guys. He thought that you might start to worry that there was something going on between us, if I stayed in his house too long, but I told him "Peeta? Who in all of Panem would ever think that anyone could steal Peeta Mellark, away from his fiancé, nee, his WIFE, Love-of-his-life Katniss Everdeen? The girl on fire? The Mockingjay?"
As she is speaking I am glancing around us wishing that some of the guards could hear her talking about the games and the war. Cart her off to some room in the back of this stadium. But no one comes and she is still standing before me smiling her smile, her eyes gleeful. Then I shake my head, because she seems as if she's waiting for some answer.
"Um, I'm not sure…" I lie, knowing full well that I myself thought that, not 10 minutes earlier. "Exactly!" she says laughing in a manner that makes me feel like she's drunk but then adds "
And I'll tell you why, Katniss, because the answer is only a fool! Only a fool would ever think that they could steal Peeta from you. His devotion to you is almost unbreakable."
Almost?
Something about the way she is looking at me, with a burning curiosity brings me unease. Makes me think that possibly I was right to distrust this beautiful redhead with the fire dress and the ice blue eyes, but then she breaks back into a genial smile saying coolly. "In other words you have nothing to worry about." I try to recall if I ever told her I was worried, but before I can think too long, another girl, a blonde with purple eyes-no doubt contacts, and a purple flower in her hair is laughing up to Ilaynia.
"Laynie, come and dance! We love this song!" the girl says, never acknowledging me.
"Okay!" Ilaynia yells and taking one last swig from her glass she says as she whips the pin from her hair and it cascades down her shoulders in a way mine never could. "I'm sorry, she is crazy but she's right this is my favorite song. It's how I got my nickname, after all." I
feel obligated to ask her the question as she seems to be awaiting it. "Really, what's your nickname?" there is no mistaking her meaning as her eyes narrow and for the first time, she doesn't try to mask her words in a syrupy tone.
"The dancing fool." Oh.
"Only a fool would ever think that they could steal Peeta from you." She said, and apparently she's just the fool to do it.
And then she is gone, flitting into the crowd with the hundreds of other girls on the floor.