Aura, disguised as Sigyn, quietly padded down a back corridor, on her way to deliver goods to Queen Frigga. She couldn't hide her perpetual grin as she watched the glossy floor glide under her steps. It had been nine days since her dinner with Loki, and, well...that kiss.
Her cheeks blushed still thinking about it. Giggling escaped her. She all but danced in the warm sun streaming through the gaps between the giant pillars. Nobody paid her gleeful mood mind. Asgard's preparations for the Convergence had everyone jollier than usual. But all she cared about was that dinner.
She tucked a loose strand of hair behind an ear and bit her bottom lip. Loki and she had more to celebrate than a historical occurrence. They had their love. She clutched the large, wrapped package tighter against her chest. She knew she acted like a mere child, but she couldn't help it. Ever since their beautiful night, she felt as though everything else passed like a dream.
Was she a fool to believe nothing could be better than the connection she shared with her beloved? Hopefully not. Yes, she had been utterly distracted as of late. She kept accidentally confusing Queen Frigga and Sjofn. She didn't mean to and had no intention of disrespect, but all she could think about was meeting Loki under the stars again. Meeting him and sharing another tender moment when time didn't exist.
More giggling escaped her.
Incredibly heavy magic radiated from her left.
Aura snapped out of her thoughts, backtracking a few steps. Her head cocked. She stared at a simple door.
A barrier shimmered, barely visible in the rays of light flooding the hall.
Brows furrowing, she approached. Then she looked up and down the corridor. She wasn't the only being using this passageway. Yet, no one else seemed interested in the magic protecting the door. Could they not detect the spell?
She placed a hand on the barrier. Certainly, it would tell of Queen Frigga's signature. But her hand moved through the magic as if it wasn't there. She glanced around once more before she fully stepped into the protective field.
Voices filtered through the door. Many voices. Despite each one being distinct, they all sounded familiar. In fact, they all sounded like...variations of Loki.
Her hand rested on the wood, but she hesitated. Holding on to the package for reassurance, she knocked.
No one answered her.
She grasped the handle. Opened the door just enough to poke her head in. Her eyes widened as her head tilted.
Dozens upon dozens of Lokis crowded the room.
With a final check over her shoulder, she softly entered and shut the door. She startled when she turned around.
All of them looked at her. A simultaneous, "Aura!"
The half elf nervously smiled as she surveyed the multitude of forms. "Is everything okay?"
A green and gold blur zoomed past her. "Parkour!"
One with a flower crown, a loose tunic down to his knees, and no pants approached with a fluid, rhythmic canter. He took her by the cheeks and kissed her forehead. "Of course, my brightest star, my paradise garden, my illustrious queen. Enter and join our circle of enlightening thought."
Her nose scrunched with delight as he twirled away, humming to himself. She had a knack for determining Loki's illusions from his real self. But none of these looked or felt like illusions. Were they copies of himself? Her eyebrows lifted. Were they fragments of himself?
She leaned the package against the door. Her delight turned into laughter when the Free Spirit danced back to her, grabbing her hands and escorting her further into the room. She spun with him a few times. Giggling, her eyes closed. This may not be the meeting under the stars, but this was just as wonderful.
Aura caught her breath after Free Spirit kissed the top of her head and returned to dancing on his own. Flush touched her cheeks. There were so many of them, and they all seemed to expect something from her. "What is this? A new spell?"
One glittered in gold armor as he perched on a desk. With legs properly crossed, he inspected his nails. He scoffed. "Hardly. I've known this for decades. You think I have the time to share every single thing I know? Please."
Another—in studious deep emerald robes—pushed up billowing sleeves. He shooed Vanity off the desk. "You egotistical fool. Do you not know with whom you speak? By the gods, you're an imbecile."
A teenaged Loki grasped Aura's hands. "Will you please forgive my words?"
The inner corners of her eyebrows knitted at his pale and gaunt appearance. "Of course." She placed a hand on the side of his face. "Is this what you looked like while I was banished?"
Dressed in ceremonial garb and holding an imitation Gungnir, one variation nodded. A solemn expression masked the sadness hiding behind his steeled gaze. "I wish I could've sent the Destroyer to Midgard at that age. It was a dark time."
Yet another, in all black, sighed. He crossed his arms tightly against his chest, and his shoulders slouched forward. Hair covered half his face. "I don't think I've been through a darker time."
An older version cackled from a far corner. His horned helmet was as thin and jagged as his frame. "You know nothing of darkness. Wait until you must face the tortures of your future."
Aura eyed Old Man Loki with great concern. "It may not mean much to you, but I promise I'll do my best to keep you...all from facing tortures in the future."
One sporting tight leather sauntered by. "Sorry, sweetheart, but not even you can stop me from experiencing torture. Suffering is my nature."
Her gaze lingered on his backside longer than she would've liked, and her cheeks warmed. Thankfully, a tug on the hem of her dress kept her from further embarrassment. She looked down.
Toddler Loki held up stubby arms. "Hold, please?"
"Of course." Smiling, she picked him up and supported him with a hip. She didn't know why Loki would hold onto a small child version of himself, but she missed the hopefulness his once bright green eyes exuberated.
The energetic green and gold blur slid across a decorative table. "Parkour!"
A version of him stretched on his stomach on a bed, propping his torso up with his elbows. He was naked and surrounded by an array of fruits, nuts, and cheeses. His ankles crossed as he rested his chin in a hand. "Well? We're all here—every aspect of us. Don't you have any delicious questions to ask?"
She addressed him. Quickly averted her gaze, much to his chuckling delight. "I don't know about 'delicious.'" She cleared her throat. "Um, the only question coming to immediate mind is which one of you is, uh, real?"
A uniform, "We're all real."
One reclined on a plush divan, clothed in flowing silk robes. He pressed delicate fingertips to his forehead in dramatic fashion. His eyes closed. "Am I real? Or am I the construct of an imagination, the fraction of a mind? Am I real? Or am I nothing more than a pawn in a story penned by a cruel writer?"
Before Aura could respond, a horrified scream called all eyes onto an emaciated form huddled in the corner. His sunken eyes darted around. He hunched further into himself and chewed on his fingernails. "S-sorry. Sorry."
Another leaned against the back of the divan, his wrinkled tunic slung haphazardly across his shoulders. He chugged wine from a goblet. "Ugh, who invited that guy? I thought we agreed to leave Paranoia up here." He held a finger gun up to a temple, tossing his head to the opposite side.
A scribe diligently transcribed every spoken word on a scroll. His scolding gaze lifted. "Either we're all invited, or none of us are. That's how it works. At least I'm doing the job I was called on to do."
An aspect in streamlined jester attire thrust a hand into the air. "I can fulfill my job! Want to hear a joke?"
"No," came the unified response.
Aura looked at Jester. "Sure."
The variations groaned.
Jester giggled. "Did you know French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece!" He erupted into obnoxious laughter.
Wearing a tailored black suit and neatly trimmed hair, Logic pushed thin, rectangular frames up his nose. "If you want to be technical about the Midgardian food known as French fries, the mortals have dubbed Belgium as the originating country."
Jester and Logic squabbled as the rest rolled their eyes.
Aura's lips thinned as she suppressed a laugh.
Energy ran past, still ignored by the others. "Parkour!"
Toddler played with one of her long curls. He giggled. "You smell pretty."
She tore her gaze away from the sea of Lokis and rubbed her nose against his. "That is very kind. Thank you."
One shyly emerged from the multitude. His cheeks reddened, and he looked down at the floor. "Um...hi."
Switching Toddler to her other hip, she smiled. "Hello."
His gaze flickered up, whole face reddening. "I, um, I think, I think I can help you."
Her head tilted. "Help me with what?"
He rocked back and forth. "You're looking for a s-specific me?"
A series of emotions passed her face until she settled on confusion. "Yes? No? I was investigating the barrier outside the door. Then, I guess, I was just looking for...you."
Another form ushered Shyness out of the way, even as he poked his pointer fingers together. "What did you think of the barrier? Is it too much? Too little? What can I do to make it better?"
Aura blinked at the sudden change of personalities. "Honestly, I was worried anyone could see it, but I think I'm the only one who noticed the magic."
Yet a different one pushed aside Insecurity. Traditional Asgardian sorcerer wear covered this one, and a faint gold energy surrounded him. "Most of my magic is crafted with you in mind. This isn't a normal room for me to seek out, but exhaustion had me on the brink of unconsciousness. The barrier only provides extra security; no one else can even see the door. This is a well-known servants' corridor, so I designed special privileges for you. Should you have passed by, of course."
Scribe looked up. Impatience edged his voice. "That's a long way of saying I allow myself to be vulnerable to you. And, since no one else has taken responsibility for answering your questions, I will. Aura, love, what you're experiencing is one of the ways I work. The me you seek sleeps in that chair."
All the aspects pointed.
The Loki she recognized slept soundly in a chair. His long legs were thrown over one armrest, and his torso scrunched against the other. Mouth open, an arm dangled to the floor.
She smiled to herself. "I should let him—you—rest. He—you've seemed fairly overworked and distracted the past few days."
Toddler threw his arms around her neck. "Stay!"
A chorus of, "Please, stay."
Her eyes darted over them. "I don't want to wake him. You. I don't want to wake you."
One threw daggers against a makeshift target on the far wall. He glanced over his shoulder and tossed one of his weapons at the chair. The hilt smacked Loki Prime's head, bouncing off. He motioned when there was no response. "See? I'm fine."
"Do you always sleep like this?"
On the opposite side of Toddler, another form popped up behind her. The collar of his leather jacket nearly reached his chin. His voice was as greasy as his hair. "Here's the deal, baby doll. I only use this spell for special projects. Projects that require a...certain kind of attention. You catch my drift?"
She scooted away from him. "Not really, no."
A semi-normal looking one appeared. Although, his attire was askew, his hair stuck out in all directions, and dark circles lined his eyes. He nervously laughed, guiding the other away. "Don't mind him. He's not all there."
Greasy shoved him off. "Look who's talkin,' Mr. I Have a Conspiracy for Everything."
Sharp clapping sounded. The perfect image of Frigga's regal son stood at full height; his head held high. "There will be no more fighting in the presence of our beloved."
Aura gasped at his sovereign demeanor, the graceful beauty of his Alfheim-influenced style. He seemingly floated in the finest silks patterned with the most delicate gold threads. Braided ebony locks flowed down his back, and an intricate gold circlet rested above his brows.
Energy dove through Friggason's legs. "Parkour!"
Her eyes followed Energy's chaotic movements until she found a cloaked form huddled in the shadows of a corner, cowering away from the others. Her lips thinned as she set Toddler down. She picked her way through the crowd and sat on her knees next to him. Smoothed the skirt of her dress.
This one withdrew further into the dark corner.
"Why are you here by yourself?"
No answer. A hand reached up to pull the hood closer around his face.
She caught a glimpse of blue skin. "Loki?"
A soft voice was barely audible. "Please don't call me that."
Her gentle fingers grasped the hood, holding it back enough to see his face. "Why not?"
Jotunn Loki flinched away from her. "I'm not, I'm not like the others."
She looked over her shoulder.
The other aspects had gone back to chatting amongst themselves. None of them paid her heed, as if she left the room. Except for Toddler, who peered around Friggason's cape.
Aura returned her attention to Jotunn. Her brows knitted. The more she studied him, the more he appeared...off. Different shades of blue mottled his body, and his eyes lacked their intense crimson hue. The natural frost giant markings scribbled across his skin. His whole being seemed out of focus. As if someone who never saw a Jotunn tried conjuring one.
He averted his gaze. "Please. You don't have to be with me."
She took both of his hands with hers. "You shouldn't be alone. You should join the rest."
"N-no. I'm an imposter, a fake."
"Why would you say that?"
"I'm just masquerading as Loki. I'm not really a part of him."
"Yes, you are." She inched closer to him. "You're as much of Loki as the others."
"No." Tears traced his cheeks, freezing halfway down his semi-blurred face. "None of them want me here. They've attacked me since I've arrived. I used to be able to take it, but it, it's been so long. It's better if I act like I don't exist. They use me when I'm necessary, then they toss me back aside."
Her arms wrapped around him, and she gathered him against her chest, startled by the frigidness emanating from him. "Oh, Loki, I'm so sorry. I," her voice cracked as she hugged him tighter, "I had no idea you felt this way about yourself."
Jotunn hid his face again. "It'd be better if they didn't know me. Everything would be better. How can anybody love me? I'm a monster. Nobody loves me."
Aura found his gaze before pressing her lips on his forehead. "I love you. Queen Frigga loves you. You think she didn't know? Even Thor loves you. The only one who doesn't love you is you."
"I-I...I..." He sobbed onto her shoulder. "I don't want to be a part of him anymore. I can't be—he hates me. They all hate me."
She clung onto him, afraid of letting him go. Her head buried against his. Tears slipped onto her cheeks. She whispered. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
"Figure out how to get rid of me. That's what the others plot. They act like I can't hear, but I can."
"No. No. Loki—"
"That's not my name."
"Yes, it is." She held his face level with hers, and she looked into his hazy eyes. "This isn't fair to yourself. You should be proud of who you are, where you came from. It's not your fault you didn't know."
Jotunn's chin quivered. "They don't even know anything about me."
Aura's fire kindled behind her deep eyes. Grabbing his hands again, she helped him to his feet.
Pure fear paled his mismatched complexion. "What are you doing?"
"Addressing you."
He kept her away from the others. "No. They'll never understand. No one will love me."
"Loki, I love you. All of you." She slid a hand to the nape of his neck and tenderly kissed him.
Jotunn froze, but he didn't stop her.
Her lips hovered over his for a moment before she placed another soft token of affection. She rested her head on his chest. "All of you."
"Aura?"
"Yes?"
"They're staring."
The half elf's gaze shifted. However, she didn't move from the frost giant form. "Does someone want to explain this to me?"
None of the dozens of forms spoke.
She straightened, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Why don't any of you know him—you? He's you."
The studious Scholar, with his billowing sleeves, clasped his hands behind his back. "I never deemed it fit to learn about Jotunheim."
Her brows furrowed. "But you love learning."
Vanity crossed his arms. "Do you know what that one does to our image?"
"But he's you. He's just as beautiful as the rest of you. I love him, too. He has every right to be here. Just as you have every right to know where you come from. Why would you avoid learning about yourself?" A tug on the hem of her dress.
Toddler's eyes watered. "Because we're scared."
Aura softened as she stroked the back of his head. "I understand. I really do. I fear my fire giant form more than anything. It devastated me when I found out the truth about my mother. Queen Frigga has been teaching me about Muspelheim, about that half of me. I still struggle with acceptance, but it really has helped."
Old Man scoffed.
She glanced at him. "You need someone to help you. I know you're used to relying on yourself." Her eyes traveled over the multitude. "I'm sure that's why you created this spell to begin with, but I'm here now. You can always ask me for help. I'll study with you. You don't have to be afraid of yourself."
An acidic voice filled the room with instant tension. "Oh, yes they do."
The rest of the Lokis quieted.
Aura faced the latest arrival: a black mass of living shadow sporting glowing green eyes rested clawed hands on the back of the chair Loki Prime slept in. Her chest tightened, and her tone quieted. "You're the Dark One."
Sharp teeth filled a startingly white grin. "Correct."
The other aspects offered a unified, "Stay away from it."
She inhaled a deep breath. "I said all of you." Fighting to maintain a composed expression, she approached. "And that means all of you."
Dark One's form shifted and danced. The wicked grin never left. "Such brave words from a slave."
Her slender frame trembled slightly as she locked eyes with the soulless orbs. "I don't fear you."
"Oh, but you will." It lunged over the chair.
"Aura!" the others called.
Darkness swallowed everything.
Aura grimaced as she supported herself on hands and knees. Shaking wracked her body, and she clutched handfuls of dirt to ground herself after experiencing the intense magic. Her peripherals caught tendrils of inky fluid snaking away.
Nausea collapsed her to the earth. Her fingers dug through the soft soil. Except. It was too soft to be soil. After an irregular breath, she forced her torso up.
Thick ash took the place of dirt.
Her eyes slowly scanned her surroundings.
A dead and colorless world stretched for what seemed like an eternity. Bits of debris hung suspended in windless air. Chunks of rubble and sharp ruins jutted from the ground in random clusters. Nothing but silence filled the cold wasteland.
"Do you know where you are?"
She gasped, whipping her head in the direction of the voice.
The Dark One hovered in its ever-moving form.
Aura held her hands against her chest. "N-no."
It floated around in no particular direction. "This is the inside of his mind. It's been this way since he's known you. You entered his life and destroyed everything he knew."
Rubbing her arms, she shivered at the lack of warmth. She looked across the endless sea of gray decay. "I don't, I don't understand."
Dark One circled her. "What I don't understand is how he can love someone this stupid."
She said nothing.
"Even for a slave, you're incredibly dense. He needs someone who can challenge his intelligence, rival his wit. And, darling, you're not it."
Silence.
"Here I thought you didn't fear me."
"I'm not afraid." Still, she didn't look at it when it passed in front of her. "I know you're no different from the others. You're another part of him, and I know how he feels about me."
"Do you, now?" It stopped in front of her. "You think you know him so well? Do you know how much he hates himself for the weakness he experiences around you? Do you know how much he despises the limitations you've placed on him? Do you know the agony he suffers is because of the agony you put him through? Because I do."
No response.
"You may be the slave, but he's the one in shackles. He's chained by the mask he wears for you. Imprisoned by the vulnerability he allows for you. Tethered by the love he foolishly has for you. He will never be his true self—his true potential—while you're in his life. And all of this for what? For you to give your innocence to another man?"
Tears threatened her vision, and she hugged herself. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "That wasn't my choice. You know that."
"I know just how weak you are." It rushed her, sending her scrambling backwards. The devious grin widened. "I know how insufferable you truly are. I know you're everything he doesn't need because you're everything that holds him back. You're a curse, a virus."
Aura's chin quivered. "T-this, this isn't you."
Dark One snaked behind her. Towered over her. "Didn't you say I'm another part of him? Of course, this is me. Darling, this is the real me. This is the me I keep buried, so I don't have to admit I ruined my entire life for a mere slave when I am a god."
"Loki..."
"Are you addressing me by my name? Or are you pleading to your lover for help?" It viciously cackled. "Either way, your pathetic nature reveals itself once again." A tendril reached out and traced her jawline. "You know, I've always been curious how you live with yourself. How has your inherent uselessness not driven you to death, yet?"
She couldn't hold back her tears any longer. Eyes closing, she hugged herself, shaking her head.
"I told you you'd fear me."
"So much pain."
"Beg your pardon?"
White magic glimmered around her hand. "You have left so much pain unhealed."
"Is this your pitiful attempt at reasoning with me?"
"No. You are not ready to be reasoned with." She buried her fingers in layers of ash. "But I will find your missing half. If there's a Dark One of you, there's a Light One of you. One can't exist without the other."
Shrill laughter echoed. "You don't have the slightest inclination of my true nature, do you? I am the god of the most powerful magic in the universe. I am chaos incarnate. I destroyed the light long ago. And now I'll destroy you, so I can finally be free." Summoning a blade of smoking black ooze, it swung.
She braced herself.
"Aura!"
Warmth filled the space.
The partial elf felt trembling, but it wasn't from her own body. Her eyes opened.
Loki shielded her. His arms wrapping around her shook uncontrollably.
They were in the room, and his multitude of aspects were gone.
Aura eyed the empty space before settling her attention on her beloved. Her eyes widened at the thick vapor rising from his back. "T-that was...real?"
He released her and supported himself on clenched fists, head remaining down. He matched her low volume. "Yes."
"Loki—"
"Aura..." He finally lifted his head. Tears streamed down his face. "I'm so sorry. I never...I never thought..." Resting his forehead on the floor, he screamed at it. His chest heaved with hard breaths. "I almost hurt you."
"It was the Dark One—"
"Who is a piece of me. There's," pure fear overcame him, "there is a piece of me that was willing to hurt you."
"But you didn't—he didn't. You didn't hurt me. I'm okay; I promise." She reached for him. "You're the one who's hurt."
He vanished in a flash of green.
"Loki!" Breaths left her too quickly as she searched the room that was just filled with all kinds of him. What did she do to help him? Where would he have gone? He never disappeared like that. Then again, she never saw that kind of terror from him. Except for once. When he couldn't save her from banishment.
Her vision found the package by the door. A long inhale steeled her panicking brain. Queen Frigga. Queen Frigga would know what to do about this. Snatching the goods, she flung open the door.
The magic barrier was gone.
She sprinted down the corridor. She had to find him. Needed to figure out what was going on, needed to talk with him. Most importantly, she needed to heal him. Who knew what kind of damage that dripping blade dealt.
Aura bolted the length of the corridor flanked on the one side by pillars. She cared not for her frantic appearance, cared not for the judgment of others. Only finding Loki mattered. She hung a sharp left. Gasping, her heart slammed against her ribcage as she abruptly halted. She immediately dropped to the floor. "How may I serve you, Your Majesty?"
"Ah, Sigyn. The exact slave I wanted to see."
(Author's Note) So, um, hi *waves nervously* Frankly, I don't want to know how long it's been since I've updated. I've been adding bits and pieces to this chapter for what seems like forever... Anyhoo, I have a question for all you lovelies: would you like to see Nafni brought back for Loki to deal with as he sees fit? There are a couple gaps in plot I need to fill, and I've been toying with an idea for Nafni. Could be good, could be bad; we'll see. *shrugs* Also! I would love to hear from my readers! What are your thoughts so far? Do you have any suggestions or things you'd like to see happen?! Please let me know because I love each and every one of you! *hugs if you accept hugs*
