[I do not, and NEVER WILL, own Sly Cooper]

Chapter 2: Carmelita's Blind Date In the Wild West

I watched the Cooper Gang escaping the museum with the samurai dagger.

I couldn't have felt more furious in all my life.

Not only had that no-good liar Sly Cooper lied to me, but he had escaped!

This was so not gonna go down well on my resume.

Suddenly, I detected a smell in the museum, a smell that smelt like fermented gym socks. Ugh.

So, I decided to follow my nose, and take a look around.

Outta the corner of my eye, I spotted a gold Arabian coin. That could be useful for evidence in this case.

Then, as I turned a corner, I was stunned to see a huge stash of stolen treasure right there in the museum! And even more shocking, someone was unloading them!

And the name of that someone?

Cyrille Le Paradox.

The museum owner.

This is the second thing that I, Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox, had not seen coming.

The museum owner was the one behind my case of stolen black market goods!

My heart skipped a beat.

2 beats, even.

And by the time I got out my shock pistol, his rat goons surrounded me. Then, a strange claw device grabbed me, and then, I was thrown into a spinning tunnel!

Everything seemed to be spinning, and I began to feel sick.

Oh, god.

And then...

Everything went black.

When I came to, I found myself in a very unfamiliar place.

Immediately, I recognized it - this was the Wild West, in the 1880s. All those Western films I watched in my youth seemed to have paid off.

I was just wondering where I was, and why I'd ended up here, when suddenly, my thoughts were rudely interrupted.

"Hold your fire, boys!"

A squad of bulls in overalls and with machine guns appeared in front of me. and then outta them, out came a short armadillo wearing a red vest over a white dress shirt, a brown belt with a gold buckle and a white cowboy hat.

I instantly recognized from his voice who it was - Toothpick.

According to his INTERPOL file, He was a gangster from present day Eastern-Europe. As a kid, he'd grown up loving two things: gold and cowboy movies. He eventually specialized in gold robberies, and for a while, had masterminded some of the largest scores around the world, and then, he abruptly vanished.

But now, I found him.

Or, to put it more better, he found me.

And before I could do anything, he roped me up, and captured me.

I was dragged through a door, and shoved into a stagecoach by that nasty crook, Toothpick.

"Phew, I am only too happy to get rid of this one." I heard him say. "Yee. Her tongue's sharp enough to cut leather."

"Stinking cowards!" I yelled. "Afraid to untie me and fight like men?! I swear when I get out of this...!"

And that Toothpick said, "No sense fretting about that, little lady. Hmm. Cry cry little tear, yes. Just enjoy the ride!"

And just like that, I was sent off on the stagecoach, as it careeneed carelessly along the cliffs.

Suddenly, a voice rang in my ears.

"I'm a-comin, Miss Carmelita!"

I didn't know what was going on, but I certainly wondered who was gonna rescue me before i was gonna end up as roadkill. The stagecoach ride was so bumpy and shaky, I nearly lost my lunch! I saw that I was gonna head straight off a cliff to my apparent death!

Eventually, just before we headed towards the end of that cliff, a stranger rescued me. I got a good look at him - he was decked out in cowboy clothing, and his body was that of a very familiar lying raccon thief.

"Who are you?!"

"Pleased to meet ya ma'am." The stranger said, "Why, I'm Tennessee Kid-"

"Don't tell me! You're a Cooper, right? I knew it!" I said.

"Yes, ma'am. Bentley told me you-" Tennessee said, but I interrupted.

"And stop calling me ma'am! The name's Inspector Fox. Wait, Bentley's here?"

"Well, looks like they're right behind us." Tennessee said.

ANd he was right; There, i saw him, that no-good lying thief, Sly Cooper, and his friends.

'Carmelita. I'm glad you're okay.' I heard that ringtail say.

That no-good... LIAR!

'Why that conniving little-!'

Suddenly, Toothpick turned up, and he arrested all 3 of them - Sly, Bentley, and Murray.

'Much obliged for helping hand, Inspector Fox. Let me run these banditos over to prison. And I be back for you all in lickety split. Of course, you feeling neighborly, you could just turn yourselves in!'

I was shocked, but I knew I had to help that lying ringtail and his gang. "As much as I like the idea of Sly in a cell, nobody kidnaps Inspector Carmelita Fox and gets away with it!"

"I reckon that also includes tying her to a runaway stage?" I heard Tennessee say.

"Watch it!" I snapped at him. "I'm in no mood for smart remarks. Now, are you up for another mission, Tennessee?"

"Yes ma'am! Oh! I mean, I sure am, Inspector Fox!" he said.

I gave him his instructions, and I told him what to do.

Hold on, you lying ringtail. We're coming for you.

A/N: Reviews are appreciated.

also...

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY TO THIEVES IN TIME'S UK RELEASE!