A/N: So I'm looking for a beta for this story. Full details in the AN below.

Chapter Five

Robin dreamt of a nice little cottage. Nothing too grand, just… simple, pleasant, and welcoming. He dreamt of a little garden out front with freshly cut grass and the smell of a spring morning dew basking in the breeze. The white wooden fence. A calm lake nearby, perfect to fish in. A large lime tree next to it, perfect to have a picnic under. The air felt cool, soothing. He hears a beautiful voice hum a soft tune, and a pair of warm arms hug him from behind. A small gentle hand grabbed his own. He turned, really, he did. Who was it? Who did it belong to? He had to know. It was close. He could feel it, he could sense it! Just a little more and he could–

Robin opened his eyes to a fire. The same campfire that he and his travelling companions had started for the night. Across the flames, Frederick stared at him, waiting for him to do something.

"Dare I ask what you were dreaming about? Or am I better off not knowing the specifics," the large knight asked, tossing a small piece of firewood into the flames.

"Well. If it means anything to you, it was quite pleasant actually," Robin replied. "Well, at least I think it was."

Frederick grunted but didn't say anything else. The amnesiac looked at his surroundings.

"Where are Chrom and Lissa?" He asked.

"They are scouting the area. Chrom felt something was amiss. Lissa thought to assist him," Frederick tossed another piece of firewood. "Why? Did you need them for something?"

The knight's posture didn't change, coming off as nonchalant with his questions. But Robin didn't need his memories to know better. The large battle axe resting beside the knight's told him everything.

"I'm surprised," Robin said. "You let both of them go by themselves. You seemed so adamant about protecting them."

The knight didn't even twitch, much to his dissatisfaction. Wait, why was he dissatisfied?

"Chrom is the greatest swordsman I have ever known. And Lissa is capable and strong in her own right. I have faith that they can handle themselves. Now you?" The knight smirked. "I cannot say the same for you. I thought to myself, that in case anything happened, it would be in everyone's best interest if I kept a remaining watchful eye–"

He tossed some more firewood.

"On–"

And another.

"You."

He threw in the last piece of firewood and then dusted off his gloves. The knight then leaned back slightly, getting into a more comfortable relaxed position. But Robin noticed the knight's hand still remained near his battle axe.

"You know," Robin drawled, eyeing Frederick evenly. "Too much firewood can't be good. You might set fire to the surrounding trees."

Frederick twitched, just a bare hint around the curl of his mouth, but it did nonetheless. Jot that down as a win in his book.

Robin didn't have time to tease him further when the ground began to shake. And a loud scream followed soon after, echoing through the forest.

Lissa's scream.

Frederick grabbed his axe, standing as Robin scrambled to his feet.

"I knew we shouldn't have trusted you."

"Or, and hear me out, we can go save Lissa from her current predicament, and then, you can monologue to me about how you should separate my head from my body," Robin reminded the knight. He grabbed his sword on the ground, as he raced off into the night. Grumbling, Frederick followed closely.

The sky erupted in flames, bleeding down balls of molten lava. The ground ruptured, tearing lines of destruction far into the earth. Trees uprooted themselves, a storm of splintered bark and roots. It was a scene akin to the end of the world.

Two figures barely kept ahead of the destruction as they ran for their lives. One carried over the other like a sack of potatoes.

"Chrom put me down! I can run on my own!" Lissa kicked and squirmed. "Eek!"

Chrom barely skimmed left, a tree falling and would have crushed him if he weren't any faster.

"You can barely pass a minute of Frederick's Morning Hell!" He yelled back. "Forgive me if I think you can't outrun this cataclysm!"

"I'm not some delicate little flower!"

"I can clearly see that for myself! A delicate flower wouldn't be this hard to carry!"

Lissa opened her mouth, then paused as the words clicked. "Are you calling me fat?!" She screeched.

"W-What! N– OW!"

"You take that back right now Mister! Or I'm telling Emm when we get back!"

The bickering continued back and forth as Chrom raced through the forest with Lissa over his shoulder.

Overhead, a portal opened, signalling the beginning of the times to come.

"Milord! Milady!"

Frederick called out. The two men rushed through the forest towards the flames.

"Chrom! Liss– woah!"

Robin skidded back at the last second as a blade came from nowhere. "What the hell!"

A man… no, it was something else. Pale rotting skin, red glowing eyes, drool falling from its mouth. It roared and charged again, swinging its blade.

Robin parried the strike with a twirl of his blade, kicking the creature back with his foot. He slid back a couple of feet, gaining some distance. With the other hand, he flicked out his tome. "Thunder!"

A magical circle appeared in front of him, and a small flash of lightning erupted from the circle, charring the creature. Whatever it was, it fell, convulsing before its entire body was coated in purple smoke. It then started to disappear as if it were made of ash.

He turned to look at Frederick, who already had his own opponent dusted and dissolving.

"Frederick! Robin!"

Lissa called out, waving frantically for their attention. The two men jogged towards the trio; Chrom, Lissa, and a masked stranger.

"Are these creatures commonplace around these parts?" The white-haired amnesiac asked.

Chrom laughed, breathing heavily. "They're not from Ylisse, I can tell you that much."

"Then no one is injured?" Frederick sighed a breath of relief. "Thank the gods."

Then he eyed the masked swordsman lingering in the background. "And you stranger, are you behind all this?"

"Oh ease of will you Frederick," Lissa whined, stepping in front of the knight. "He saved my life!"

Frederick's jaw tightened but bowed his head nonetheless. "I thank you for your assistance then. I will, however, still be keeping an eye on you."

The masked stranger smirked, though they were breathing heavily and almost kneeling over. "Glad I could help."

Frederick nodded, before turning to Robin, about to say something, but the white-haired tactician was already holding up his hands defensively.

"I'm honestly flattered that you think I'm a capable enough mage to do… all this on my own while right in front of you," Robin waved his hand at all the destruction. "But something tells me that it's uhm… What's that word called again? Ah, that's right… impossible."

"... I was going to suggest that perhaps you had a battalion of dark mages following nearby," Frederick muttered.

"I literally, don't know anyone but you three," Robin defended, then paused. "Not including those villagers from Southtown… and this person."

He pointed at the masked swordsman, who is staring at him in confusion and disbelief. "You... have a wedding ring..."

"That too. I have a…" he trailed off, before turning to face the masked swordsman, cheeks flushing as he processed the words. "What makes you think it's a wedding ring?!"

"Oh, is it not? It just… seemed far too beautifully made to be some family heirloom."

Chrom clicked his fingers. "I said the same thing!"

This startled the masked stranger who suddenly got nervous, but no one noticed as Frederick scoffed at Robin.

"So that's the story you're going with now?"

Robin stared at the man incredulously. "Are you sure your title isn't Frederick the Prud by any chance?"

"Uh guys, maybe save this talk for later," Lissa interrupted what was no doubt going to be another argument. She pointed into the distance as a dozen of those monsters started to swarm out from the trees. "I think we have more worrying matters right now."

Morgan stood at attention, shoulders tensed, coat bellowing like a cape in the gentle chilly breeze. She stared down her opponent, heat started to swell under her collar as she slowly reached into her coat pocket.

The whole way, her opponent watched her with narrow slitted eyes, ready to move. The girl's hand reached into said pocket and finally pulled out… a herring.

"Here kitty kitty kitty," Morgan waved the offering at the cat.

The cat hissed a warning to the little girl, tail rigid straight to the sky. Then it turned around, showing its rear towards Morgan before jumping off the ledge it had been resting on.

The afternoon sun was starting to set in the distance, a hint of amber started to wash across the sky like a watercolour painting.

Morgan slumped in defeat at her latest attempt.

"None of that now kid," Jeralt comforted, large hand ruffling her head. "You weren't going to get it on the first try. Most animals need to get used to your presence before they start trusting you."

His granddaughter pouted. "The cats back home never liked me either."

"Well, that's an entirely different story," Jeralt chuckled warmly. He watched as Morgan wilted even further. He softened. "Want to hear a secret?"

The veteran mercenary nearly snorted when he watched his granddaughter's eyes go wide, before furiously bobbing her head up and down. Jeralt knelt down so he was closer to her eye level, still a far cry as he was a giant of a man. He exaggeratingly looked in either direction, before leaning closer. "Your mother also doesn't have the best luck with animals either."

He couldn't hide the snort this time as his granddaughter's eyes widened at that revelation. "Really? But she's taken me to ride horses before. And she used to feed the stray cats back home."

"Well, maybe not as much trouble as you do," Jeralt smiled, lost in thought. "Doesn't change the fact that she had her own share of animal troubles. I'm assuming your mother hasn't told it to you, but basically, we were hunting down a bounty in Alliance territory at the time. We had a dip in the red for funds as we suddenly had an influx in numbers and mouths to feed. Your mother would have been… Thirteen? Fourteen maybe? Our target was a con man that had scammed our employer, and we managed to track him to a local lakeside town. One of our newbies tipped off the target and we ended up having to chase him through the markets. Trading of exotic animals is big in the Alliance you see, so lo and behold, instead of chasing down the target, your mother and the target ended up fleeing for their lives from a toro bravo."

"What's a toro bravo?" Morgan asked, completely taken by the story.

Jeralt paused, thinking how to explain. "It's an extremely aggressive subspecies of cattle mostly found in Brigid. They're about yay high–"

Morgan's eyes widened as her grandfather held his hand around his shoulder height.

"–horns the size of my forearm easily. They charge and run down their victims, and are very difficult to stop when they get started. So imagine a big bulky cattle with horns, taking one look at your mother, and then–"

Jeralt waved his arm forward, earning a giggle from the child. He couldn't help but smile at that. "So I take it your mother never tells you these stories?"

Morgan shook her head. "Nope. Dad is the one that usually tells me my bedtime stories. Though mom is alright, you can't beat dad when he does the silly voices and woosh effects."

"You got a favourite story then kid?"

Morgan hummed, tilting her head. "I think… probably the legend of Prince Marth and the Blade of Light."

"Prince Marth you say?" Jeralt rubbed his chin. "Can't say I've ever heard that one before."

"Really? Dad said it was a really famous one."

"Well, outside of the occasional bardic tale, I'm not one to listen to many stories. We can check the library later," Jeralt promised. "So I take it you like to read whenever you're bored?"

"Hmm," Morgan scrunched her face, tilting her head. "I think it's equal to practising my magic."

"You know," Jeralt said, eyeing his granddaughter. He reached down to carry the girl. "There's a training ground nearby, lots of wooden dummies to try all sorts of spells on. Why don't you show me what you know?"

Byleth thumbed her ring silently, lost in thought. The doors to Rhea's chambers opened and two people walked out.

"I trust that you understand your objective?" Seteth asked. "I don't want a repeat of your last mission."

The other speaker was a woman around Byleth's age. She had short raven black hair, cropped to one side. She donned a green coat over leather armour.

"Relax Seteth," she said. "Last time I had false information. It won't be an issue this time."

The advisor sighed. "Alright, I trust your judgement. By your leave Shamir."

The woman strolled away, but not before eyeing Byleth curiously. It wasn't more than a glance before she was on her way.

"Miss Eisner," Seteth called, garnering the swordswoman's attention. "Although, I suppose it should be Professor now, shouldn't it?"

Byleth nodded.

"Right. I'll leave you and Lady Rhea be then. However, I must remind you to stay respectful at all times. I'm letting you speak privately because she requested it, and while she can come off quite open, I ask that you remember her position. I hope you do not betray my trust."

And with that, he left her be.

She entered the chambers soon after. The first thing Byleth took notice of was how empty it felt with only the two of them in it.

Rhea smiled upon seeing her, slowly moving closer with her hands gently grasped over each other. "I see that you accepted my offer… professor."

Byleth nodded. "I thank you for this opportunity, Lady Rhea."

"Please, just Rhea is fine. I would… I would like to get to know you better Byleth. Over some tea of course," Rhea motioned to the alcove of the room which already had a table ready with some tea.

Byleth followed, taking a seat at the table. The Archbishop grabbed the teapot and began to pour.

"Shouldn't I be the one pouring?" Byleth offered, but Rhea simply smiled.

"You are a guest," she reminded. "It is only right as the host, that I should be the one to pour. So, tell me, how have you found Garreg Mach so far?"

Rhea offered her the cup, which she accepted, taking a sip. Byleth let out a long sigh. "It's… different. A nice change in scenery from what I'm used to."

Byleth closed her eyes. She could see that humble little cottage she had once called home. With its little garden surrounded by a white fence. She could almost smell that lime tree, the one that she would lay under with Robin by her side, napping the afternoon away. "Quiet. Remote. Peaceful. Jarylo might have been just a small mountain village by the wayside… but it was home."

"Hmm. That's in Edmund territory is it not?" Rhea asked though it sounded less like a question and more like a nostalgic reassurance. "Just east of the valley if I remember correctly, south of the border."

Byleth nodded. "You've been there before?"

"Once, a very long time ago before I had… my responsibilities to fulfil," the Archbishop stirred her cup, eyes lingered out the window. "I was young, and I loved to travel. I wanted to see the sights that Fodlan had to offer. To see what my mother loved about the world… if only I could go back to simpler times."

Rhea paused as if shocked that she said so much. She cleared her throat, before taking a sip of her tea. The woman had a lost look in her eye as she put her cup down. "I apologise. It's unseemly going off on such a tangent."

"You have nothing to apologise for," Byleth said. "Though I was under the impression that you wanted to talk to me about my duties as a professor?"

"Yes, of course. Truly, you are a sweet child," Rhea smiled. Then, after a pause, she shook her head. "I apologise, I shouldn't be treating you like a child. Perhaps the reason I find myself so open with you is due to the fact that you are Jeralt's kin, I… I feel a connection with you somehow. By any chance, is it the same with you?"

The Archbishop went to take a sip.

"Lady Rhea," Byleth began. "I thank you for the compliment. But I want to remind you that I'm married."

Rhea spat out her tea, politely coughing behind her hand.

Byleth looked concerned. "Are you alright?"

"I am perfectly fine," Rhea assured. "I assure you, I didn't mean it that way. Perhaps we should change the topic? I heard your daughter is a very charming young lady. You are fortunate to be blessed with such a sweet child. Tell me, was there anything interesting about her that was different from any other child you met? Perhaps a special type of… maturity beyond her years?"

Byleth blinked. "Lady Rhea–"

"Just Rhea is fine professor."

"... Rhea," Byleth corrected, eyes narrowing slightly. "I must remind you that Morgan is far from the legal marriageable age."

Once again, Rhea found herself red and flabbergasted as the misunderstanding got worse.

A/N: Hi there, sorry about the longer wait than normal, was wondering how I should go about asking if anyone was interested in betaing this story? I originally started this fic to just be a funny crack fic, but I'm happy at the response I've gotten so far being so overall positive. However, with a lot of reviews taking this story pretty seriously with storytelling and characterisation, I decided that maybe I should take the quality of the writing more seriously.

I started to edit the previous chapters to make more sense and to flow better with its pacing, giving more details. Currently, I only have the first chapter up by the time this chapter is posted. I was originally going to post just an update notice, but that felt really weird to do so, so I just split this chapter to where I had currently written it so that way the wait wouldn't be as long while I edit the first couple chapters.

Uh, as for a beta, I'm really just looking for someone that won't mince their words. If you think something is bad and needs fixing, I want to hear it without you trying to care for my feelings. That sort of thing. If readers are going to take this story seriously, then I'm going to have to as well... so, yeah.

Review Responses:

Guest: Finally, some criticism. Don't worry about offending me, I'm not thin-skinned lmao. You're free to have your own opinion and I'm not going to judge even if you don't like a story I've written.

Regarding your chapter 1 review, I'm a bit confused. I'm not too sure if the lack of explanation issue is because I started in medias res, or if it was just my writing in general not being the most descriptive. If it was the former, I'm sorry I cannot help you there as that is just simply the way I wanted to write the story. If it was the latter... well, I'm editing what I've written so far, so hopefully it makes more sense now.

Your chapter 2 review. I agree. I should try and branch off more and not copy what happened in the games as much, especially since my fic's tone is a lot different than the games. I'll work on it. I, however, can't find anything online about people hating how Byleth tried to save Edelgard in the game, but I'll definitely change it for the rewrite.

Your chapter 3 review, I disagree. Yes, having post-game Robin being the one to come to Fodlan, or just canon Robin in Fodlan could have made an interesting story. There are other fics out there that already do that and they are much better than this fic. I, however, wrote this fic like this because it's the story that I specifically want to tell. If you have issues with it, I'm sorry but I cannot help you.

Your chapter 4 review, I'm confused about this one. In what context should I have brought Sitri up?

MoonMccloud: Thank you. I'm happy that someone was willing to use a translator just to review my work :) I hope I can keep it up.

deathhater04: Thank you for your response. We shall see... *cackles evilly* we shall see.

Temporal King: True, I think Rhea could have. I'll work on it when I edit through what I've written. Thank you for noticing Jeralt shielding Byleth. Though the reason he didn't do the same was because Byleth eyed him warningly which caused him to take a step back. Again, I'll rewrite that portion to make more sense so it's clearer.

Guest: No actually, I wasn't aware that Shez's survival is what led to the events of Three Hopes. I literally know next to nothing about the game.

Poharan: Thank you for your kind words. I don't think that even if Morgan is a prodigy she should be going to school per se. I'm kinda comparing her to Lysithea here who is also hailed as a prodigy. I don't want to make Morgan this perfect golden child, even with her bloodline.