Hey guys,

Okay so I know you guys are hating Brooke right now and I didn't realise I was making her the bad guy in this, but it's happened that way.

I love reading all of your views it actually motivates me to continue to write which I love even more.

*

1 year later

I stood in front of the red door and just stared. I was back in tree hill for thanksgiving. It has been a year since the last one. It has been a year since I broke up with Lucas. It has also been a year since I've really spoken to Lucas or seen him.

Months after we broke up he would message me and we would talk, but it wasn't the same. It hasn't been the same since we broke up. I've had 2 relationships since last thanksgiving, but no one has compared to Lucas. I mean I know no one would or could ever compare to what we had, but I did tell Luke we should see other people throughout college to see what it would be like.

It's only been a year. I have 3 more years to go before I graduate and I'm not sure I made the right choice in this moment. Landing back in tree hill where we met. Going into my house where we spent most of our time hanging out, making out or did other things.

I continued to stare up at the red door having this feeling wash over me. This year Karen was hosting thanksgiving at her house.

"Brooke are you okay?" I almost forgot he came with me.

Don't worry it isn't what you think. Jason just came because his family weren't home this year for thanksgiving and he wanted to see where I was from. We are friends and that's all.

I slowly nod and then shake my head trying not to cry "just brings back memories you know"

He puts his arm around me and pulls me into a hug "I get it Brooke. Home will always bring those memories back"

He was right. I finally pulled myself together and we entered my old house. Dad and his girlfriend were spending Thanksgiving in Florida this year.

"Wow this is your house?" Jason says looking around "this is huge"

"Well it's my dad's house, it will be passed down to me though" I smile and we head up to my room "and this is my room" I say pushing the double doors open.

"Oh my god" Jason's mouth dropped "this is so big, my god Brooke I didn't realise you were this rich"

I laughed putting my bag in my bed "I'm not rich Jay, my dad is. This is just how I grew up"

"So these are your friends?" he starts to look at all the pictures scattered around my room.

"Yeah" I nod "we've been friends for like ever"

"That's awesome" Jason turns and smiles at me "So when do I get to meet these friends?"

"Actually we can head over now, last year I was late" Jason nodded "you can drop your back in one of the spare rooms across from me and then we'll head out.

We got a text to Karen's house. The journey to her house felt like we were going in slow motion. I was nervous. Like super nervous. Jason squeezed my hand to calm me a little and it worked until we turned onto their street.

I spoke to the girls last night before our flight, but I haven't spoke go Luke since last Christmas and then my birthday this year he sent me a birthday card and I sent him one, but that was all contact we had and I didn't know how this visit was going to go.

My heart hammered against my chest as the taxi pulled up. I heard Jason pay the driver and then my door opened and Jason held out his hand for me to take. My legs felt like jelly, I didn't know what to expect.

Could Lucas be dating? Does he have a girlfriend? Has he slept with many people since me? Does he feel anything for me still? Have I truly burned that bridge after everything I did to him?

"Brooke hold onto me if you need to" Jason offered and I give him a small smile holding onto his arm as we head uo to the front door.

My eyes went straight to the side door that I knew was Lucas's bedroom on the other side. Was Lucas even here yet? I didn't know when he was flying in or if he was even coming this year. No one told me he was.

"Okay I know the history between the two of you and I'm here okay Brooke. I'm here if you want to just grab me and leave okay"

I nodded being so grateful to have a friend like him with me, on my side and willing to just flee with me if it gets too much.

Yes guys I know this is my fault. I know I brought it on myself and I also know how much I broke Lucas. I get it all, but that doesn't stop how I feel. It doesn't stop the dread that is starting to feel my body.

I take a deep breath and open my eyes. I knock three times and then push the door to Karen's house open and walk inside.

I then find my voice "Hello, is anyone there"

"Oh my god Brooke" Rachel ran and hugged me and my dread slowly started to fade "he isn't here yet" she whispered in my ear and just like that the dread started to creep up again

"Brookie" Haley squeals "it's good to see you"

"You too Hales"

"Hey Davis" I turned to see Peyton

"Sawyer" she hugged me

"Oh Brooke darling you made it" Karen says walking through the girls and over to me "Oh and who is this young man?"

Oh right Jason "this is Jason everyone"

"As in the Jason"

"Nope just Jason" I reply "Jason this is everyone. This is Rach and her boyfriend over there is Owen. This is Haley and he boyfriend standing next to Owen is Nathan and this is Peyton and her boyfriend Jake"

"Nice to meet you all" he smiles. They all greet him back.

"And this is Karen our host for today" Karen greets Jason and then we head down the hall to the living area.

We were talking among ourselves when a cold feeling washed over me and his aftershave filled my nostril and butterflies wanted to flutter, but I kept them at bay.

Jason noticed my sudden change of presence "Brooke are you okay?" I stood up and went to the start of the corridor and there he stood.

Lucas.

There he stood with his blond shabby hair and his piercing blue eyes. I knew he felt it too because he didn't notice me at first and then his head jerked up and then he turned and our eyes met for the first time in a year.

This overwhelming feeling was knocking me sick.

"Hi pretty girl" just him saying those three words made my legs want to give way underneath me

"Hey Luke" I finally manage to say

I went to walk towards him when the door opened again.

"I finally got through babe, my parents really want to meet you. I told them maybe winter break" she leaned up and pecked him and my heart sunk deep and I thought I was going to be sick. I could feel my eyes fill with tears, I look away from him and bump into Jason who was standing behind me.

"Brooke it's okay" he whispered to me as he wrapped his arms around me.

I pull out of his embrace "I need to erm... I need some air"

"Brooke... Brooke wait" I hear Lucas say as I run pass him and this girl and head out the door.

"You didn't tell her" Karen says

"I haven't spoken to her in forever Ma" he replies "damn it. I'm sorry Rose I neee to go after her"

I'm not sure how far I ran, but I stopped and sat on the bench. I was kicking myself. I don't know what I expected. I mean it's been a year and I did this. I did this to myself, to us. I told him to go have the college experience. At least she doesn't live miles away like me.

God damn it my heart hurts

"I'm such an idiot"

"You're not an idiot Brooke" it was his voice. I wipe the tears away and stare at the ground "I'm sorry, I should have called or texted or even emailed"

"Don't be sorry Luke" I shrug "I brought this on myself"

"No Brooke please don't do that" he says

"Do what?"

"Blame yourself like this"

"Why not Luke?" I say standing to my feet "this is my fault. You've moved on and I don't blame you. I was such a... I've been so horrid to you Lucas and I broke us. I broke what we could have had and now I'm paying for it. I brought tickets front row to my life"

"It isn't like that. I mean yes Rose and I are together, but that doesn't mean I don't love you still Brooke because I do. I always have since we met and I always will"

"No" I turn to face him "don't say that, don't you tell me you have feelings for me and yet you have a girlfriend back at the house Lucas"

"Brooke don't okay. You know how I feel okay, you've always known how I feel about you, but you just... You ended us and I couldn't just wait around forever. It's been a god damn year Brooke and not once have you called me or changed your mind or anything"

"I know" I nod "I didn't expect to come home to you with your girlfriend though Luke. No one told me. Why did no one tell me?"

"I'm sorry pretty girl" he stands and walks towards me. I suddenly felt glued to the spot "I should have been the one to tell you about us"

"I just didn't expect it" I whisper "we should... We should head back" he was too close for me to function properly

"Are you okay?" Jason asked when I entered Karen's house again.

"Brooke what happened? Are you okay?" Rachel says

"Why did you not tell me that Lucas has a girlfriend?".

"We didn't want you not to come to Thanksgiving" Peyton responds

"So instead you don't tell me and I find out seeing them kissing at the door, oh yeah because that is totally the way I wanted to find out girls"

Like I've said I get it, this my fault and I fully take that, but I don't think I deserve to find out the way I did. I think I at least deserved to know before hand.

"Brooke don't be mad at them. I should have told you" Lucas says defending the girls "this is on me"

"No this is actually on Brooke" Lily comments. Where did she come from

"Lily don't" Josh says

"No. It is" she replies "if she didn't come here last year and break up with Lucas then he wouldn't be here this year with Rose" and of course she was right, but hearing it from her cut me deep. Like really deep.

I just stare back at everyone and my heart just crushed beneath my body "I shouldn't have come" I say passing everyone and heading to the dining area hoping Karen would hurry to finish dinner so I could leave.

We sat around the dinner take and I felt Jason take hold of my hand under the table and squeeze. My eyes were filled with so much tears I was fighting very hard for them not to fall so I squeezed back.

After dinner had finished I looked around the table and my heart just hurt. I felt super hurt and I knew no one understood. I'm the bad guy in this and that's fine, but I'm not going to remain here where I'm clearly not wanted.

"Thank you got inviting us Karen, but I think Jason and I are going to leave" I loved how Jason said nothing and just nodded giving me that silent support I really needed.

"Are you sure sweetheart? We haven't done desert yet"

I walk round and give her a hug and a kiss to the cheek "I need to leave Karen. I can't be here anymore"

"I'm sorry" she whispered back. I just nod.

Jason stands and follows me.

"Brooke come on" Haley says in a sad tone.

"I'm sorry, but I can't stay Hales. The atmosphere isn't even a nice one anymore" I reply giving her a hug too.

"Pretty girl don't leave" his voice cut through me making my whole body want to shake "pretty girl please wait"

"Don't call me that" I spin around to face him our eyes locked "you don't get to call me that Lucas, not anymore"

"Brooke".

"No" I yell "this isn't fair okay. None of this is fair and I find it quite horrid that you girls did not warn me that my ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend who he was bringing here and I get that this is my fault but I don't think I deserve this much in one day okay. I can't take this much in one day. You are meant to be my friends, my family and you have crushed me more today than ever before"

"We're sorry Brooke, we should have told you"

"Yeah you should have and now it's too late. I'm gonna leave with Jason okay. You guys get home safe" I then turn and leave with Jason.

Please REVIEW!!!

Love you all so much.

Roch xoxo