Kira Tsubasa called again. To say she had a change of heart is too mild. I am just going to write down what she said. First of all, I am not the best note-taker in Otonokizaka for nothing. But also, Tsubasa was crying so she got it out in bits.
"She was our biggest fan . flowers she couldnt afford ... didn't buy nice food for her family for dinner .. didn't go out with friends to have sweets. Nozomi said sometimes she did little jobs in Akihabara.
"She just stayed in that dark clubroom on the computer for hours a day hitting bidding sites so a poor girl like her could buy stuff. Most of it was school idol stuff and most of that was us ...
"Having flowers at the end of a concert made us feel like big wheels as we did our little concerts with our support from our cushy, sparkly UTX.
"And how did i pay her back? Even though i knew she had a crush on you Maki-san I tried to seduce you into writing songs for us. For me. And even to kiss you in the piano room right in front of her eyes.
"When she would have given anything just to have a few words of honest praise from us - I basically said I couldn't think of any - unlike everyone else in her group. Except she was a mischievous little devil, maybe.
"We keep saying we do everything for the fans but that's how we treated our biggest fan. if i say we found her bragging annoying - well, it was her only defense in life. And also - who else would have done all that - who would have made that insane amount of effort?
"Even Koizumi wouldn't come within miles of it.
"And it also was her way of saying hey i don't notice anyone else doing these extraordinary things. Even though she had nothing left.
"Her poor family was going to stay poor.
"Her dead father was going to stay dead.
"Her broken dreams were going to stay broken.
"And no one was going to notice her, after all. let alone smile because she was making them smile.
"But she had that fantasy world to cushion the pain - I think that's what she got out of all the idol collecting. It was research for a life she didn't believe she'd ever have.
"I would ask Nozomi why she never invited Niko out after school to do anything.
"I would, but you know, Maki, i dont have the right.
"She was wearing dresses she MADE HERSELF so she'd look good enough to go to our crappy little shows and then leave flowers that she couldn't afford.
"I don't feel like a school idol i feel like a school monster.
"And what would Honoka think if she really thought about it? I don't want to know.
"I didnt call you to confess my sins, Maki.
"i want to say, if it's in my power i want to give Niko another shot.
"Whatever you guys need if i can help, let me know - contacts, word of mouth, whatever - i'd even pay for voice lessons - i know she can't practice dancing or acting but singing is possible.
The way i treated Niko was worse than a dog. it was like kicking Hachikou."
So, that was something.
But you know, we can use all the help we can get.