"I'm sorry you got dragged here," a young boy around Clara's age whispered to her. Clara was pulled into the room and told to cut the onions for now, while the head chef ran off to the other side of the kitchen.
"Tario! Where is the salmon! Clarins, cabbage, now!" the lead chef yelled.
"Sorry chef, three more minutes chef," Tario yelled.
"Three more minutes?! It doesn't take that long to prepare and cook a f*cking salmon! THERESA! YOU BURNED THE DAMN CLAMS!" he screamed, grabbing the pan from Teresa and handing it to another chef. "Dispose of these!"
Pft, Gordon Clamsey.
Clara barely stifled her laughter, but to her horror, the lead chef turned towards her.
Oh god, please help me. I don't wanna die like this.
As if to answer her prayers, a large crash rang out in the kitchen.
"WHO LEFT THE WINDOW OPEN! WE'RE HUNDREDS OF KILOMETERS IN THE AIR WITH HUNDREDS OF BIRDS!" the head chef yelled. He grabbed a nearby knife and launched it at one of the birds that flew into the open window, pinning it to the wall. The next strike that followed killed it.
Oh my god! That is so brutal! Why is there so much blood! How is everyone so calm about this?!
Clara turned back to the onion she barely cut through, her knife trembling in her hands. As she tried to calm down from the horrible sight she just witnessed, a notification popped up in her status window.
[+17 EXP]
Huh? Exp? Oh! This must be the effect of the party system!
When the head chef dragged Clara to the kitchen he also invited her to a 'party'. The help menu said that it allowed people to see the levels of people around them as well as share exp gained. The head chef said it made it easier to target people with speed buffing magic, which sped up the cooking process.
Clara heard another awful squishy crunching noise behind her and shivered, trying her hardest to block out the mental image as she focused on the task at hand.
[You had leveled up]
[You had leveled up]
Oh, my level raised? And my stats did, too!
"What are you doing?! Cut it thinner, not into these big chunks of onion! No one's gonna eat that! And use a bigger knife! You're cutting, not sculpting" the head chef yelled, dropping a longer knife next to Clara. He turned away and looked for someone else to yell, while Clara looked back and forth between her knife, and the one she was given.
But I thought I could only use this knife?
Clara grabbed the knife the head chef left her and was about to try it out, but a new icon popped up in her status.
Used Basic Chef's Knife
abilities unlocked equip bonus: cooking skill 1
She swapped to the knife and felt a shiver spread across her entire body.
That was… weird. But what does this cooking skill 1 do?
"Rookie! Get to chopping!" the head chef yelled, pulling Clara out of her thoughts.
"Ah, yes chef!" she replied, cutting into the vegetable. But something was off. It wasn't a drastic change, but the cuts she made were a bit more even than before. And unlike before, the process went by a lot faster.
Does cooking raise my ability to cook?! That feels so cheap but this is a lifesaver for me right now. Thank you knife.
"OI! Don't throw those away, you idiot! Cook them now instead of that stored cr*p! This is as fresh as they get!" Goron yelled, grabbing the corpses out of the hands of a chef that was about to throw them away.
This is going to be a long day.
==}—
"Not bad, not bad. It was a productive day everyone. I know it's not every day we prepare a feast of this size, but you guys managed to pull through. Now get cleaned up and enjoy the feast. Tio, take the rookie and clean up. We'll see you later."
With that Tio and Clara were left alone in the messy kitchen. He sighed and tossed Clara a rag while he pulled out the mop.
"So, how's your first day in the kitchen of the devil?" he asked while mopping the floor.
"The devil?"
"It's a nickname that people call Goron Rancei. Mostly 'cause he screams a lot, but also 'cause his specialty is spicy food."
Goron Rancei?! Oh my god, no way. Even his name is similar.
"Well, it was different from what I'm used to," she replied, scrubbing the vegetable chunks from the tables.
"Yeah, a lot of people say that. And now you know why. He's a total nutcase but he knows his food."
Well, the dishes did look excellently prepared.
"But you seemed to handle it quite well. That's better than half of the people who were in this kitchen."
"Oh. What happened to them?"
"Most quit within the hour. Some walk out and never come back. Some try to fight the chef and get roasted into oblivion, physically or literally," Tio explained, rubbing his side.
"And the rest?"
"Don't come back a second time and avoid Goron like the plague. Also, that's his personal work section, so be careful with the knives. He treasures those," he said, pointing to the table Clara walked up to.
Unlike the other basic tables and cooking instruments, the one here looked like it was reinforced with several layers of metal. The knives were shiny and the handles were decorated with a signature engraved in gold. A small round gemstone shone brightly on the end of the handle.
"Woah," Clara ran her fingers over the knife in awe. But she was pulled out of her thought process by a notification in her status.
[Chef Gordon's Chef's Knife requirements not met]
Oh right, I can copy all the knives!
Clara ran her hands across the knife collection and got almost a dozen notifications.
[Chef Gordon's Paring Knife requirements not met]
[Chef Gordon's Utility Knife requirements not met]
[Chef Gordon's Bread Knife requirements not met]
[Chef Gordon's Steak Knife requirements not met]
[Chef Gordon's Fillet Knife requirements not met]
[Chef Gordon's Boning Knife requirements not met]
[Chef Gordon's Carving Knife requirements not met]
[Chef Gordon's Cleaver requirements not met]
"What are you doing?! He'll be pissed if he catches you touching his collection!" Tio warned her.
"Ah, sorry! Got distracted," she said, leaning on one of the ranges, when something she hadn't expected happened. Her vision lit up as another notification had appeared.
[Cooking Range requirements not met]
"Eh?!" Clara exclaimed in surprise, causing Tio to jump in surprise.
"What's wrong?! Did another one of those birds hide somewhere?!" he yelled, raising his broom like a bat.
"No, just… a thing in my status. Wait, do those birds come by often?"
"Pretty much any time someone forgets to close the window the little buggers come in and wreak havoc. It's such a pain to get rid of them if they get inside the walls, but otherwise, you just have to whack them a couple of times."
"Oh. Well, thanks for letting me know. Is there anything else I should watch out for on this ship? I'm completely new to all of this," Clara mumbled, looking at the cooking range weapon form. She couldn't use it cause her level was only 3, but there were also several icons next to each copied weapon form in her status, all grayed out.
"Let's see… don't bother the ship's tailor when she's working or you'll turn into a pin cushion. Don't bother the guards too much, and don't go into Goron Rancei's quarters. That's about it really. Oh, and don't leave the windows open, that one is important."
"Got it! Thank you Tio," Clara smiled. He rubbed his neck and turned away.
"Yeah, no problem…"
Clara turned back to her status as she cleaned the tables.
If I can copy a range and every knife on the table… can I copy anything used for cooking? I think Ellis called me the cooking hero and not the knife hero, so will this work?
As Clara continued to clean the kitchen with Tio, she poked a few more things, earning more weapon forms.
[Cutting Board requirements not met]
[Small Cooking Pot requirements not met]
[Medium Cooking Pot requirements not met]
[Large Cooking Pot requirements not met]
[Small Frying Pan requirements not met]
[Medium Frying Pan requirements not met]
[Large Frying Pan requirements not met]
[Deep Fryer requirements not met]
[Blender requirements not met]
[Large Cooking Pot requirements not met]
[Measuring Cup requirements not met]
[Spatula requirements not met]
[Mixer requirements not met]
[Griddle requirements not met]
.
.
.
Spatula, whisk, spoon, fork, measuring cups, mixer, blender, toaster, microwave, rolling pin, and even a pie iron gave Clara a weapon form. The list of weaponry finally stopped expanding by the time she and Tio were done cleaning the kitchen.
"Well, I'll see you around. Oh, if you could throw the bags in the incinerator that would be great. Later," Tio said, disappearing out of the view.
Clara sighed, her whole body and mind exhausted from the verbal assault and cutting vegetables. She rubbed her arms a few times, trying to lessen the soreness before she looked at the trash bag at the door. And then she realized one thing.
She forgot to ask where the incinerator was.
Clara rushed out the door and yelled for Tio, but he was already gone.
Shoot. I guess I'll just wander around for now? Ellis never showed me where my room was, so…
Clara closed her eyes, spun around and pointed in a random direction.
Guess I'm going that way.
==}—
WHY IS THIS SHIP SO MASSIVE?! AND WHY DOESN'T IT HAVE A MAP?!
Clara had wandered for the last 10 minutes all around the ship, and yet she couldn't find the incinerator room or anyone alive for that matter. There were some rooms, but the labels had strange symbols on them that Clara couldn't read. Every hallway looked exactly the same as the next, leading to more hallways leading to more rooms which lead to more hallways. It was like trying to find your way around in a mansion except worse.
"H-hello? A-anyone here?" she mumbled, trying not to cry. What if she got lost in an abandoned part of the ship? And no one could find her for months? What if she died of dehydration here all because she got lost on a ship?
A low groan suddenly erupted from behind, causing Clara's heart to race.
"GAH!" Clara shrieked and threw the bag in her hands behind her. The bag collided with something, causing a loud clang. Before Clara could get a good look, she felt a strong shock erupt from her arms.
"OW!" she yelled, clutching her arms to her chest.
[A hero cannot use an unassigned weapon]
"Yeah, that can happen. I think Ellis explained that part to you," she heard the voice say. Clara looked up and saw Hol leaning on his weapon. His hair was a mess, his clothes were crumpled, and he reeked of alcohol. He was clutching a block of ice to his forehead and his eyes were barely opened.
"Oh, Hol. Thank god it's just you. You scared me," Clara let out a sigh of relief and dropped to her knees.
"Sorry bout that, but could you please be a bit quieter?" he pleaded, groaning when Clara spoke.
"Sorry. What happened to you?" she whispered as she began to pick up the trash that ripped out of the trash bag.
"Hangover. I'll be fine in a bit. Hangover recovery is already working. Move," he groaned, lifting his weapon. He brought it closer to the trash and Clara watched as the garbage pieces got sucked into the gem of the weapon.
"Woah. How did you do that?"
"Material absorption. It gives new weapon forms and is convenient to store a bunch of garbage. Sadly though, you have to travel to an hourglass to get it back out, unless the weapon crafted it or it's a monster drop. The requirements are weird. I'll probably dump them on Ellis for his upgrade method," he replied, leaning back on the weapon. "So, what are you doing here anyways?"
"I was looking for the incinerator room to throw away the trash. But I couldn't find it, and everyone else left somewhere!" she replied, making Hol groan again from the noise. He sighed and pulled out a vial of murky liquid from his gem and chugged it before turning to Clara again.
"Everyone is getting ready for the feast to celebrate your summoning. Didn't Ellis tell you about it?"
"Ellis left me with Goron Rancei and teleported away," she replied, crossing her arms and pouting.
"Wait, Goron Rancei? The one that screams a lot?"
Clara sighed and nodded.
"I am so sorry you had to endure that. So how did it go? Did he say anything after you told him you were the cooking hero?"
"I didn't tell him yet."
Hol dropped the ice and looked at Clara in surprise.
"Why not?" he asked, pain disappearing from his voice, filled instead with surprise.
"I actually forgot. He was screaming so loudly, then there was the bloodbath of birds," Clara shuddered at the thought and sighed. Hol looked at her in silence for a few more seconds before a smile creeped onto his face.
"So he doesn't know you're the cooking hero yet," he repeated, rubbing his hands and smiling deviously.
"Who doesn't know?" Ellis asked, appearing from behind Hol.
"Goron screamed at Clara a bunch, but he doesn't know she is the cooking hero yet," Hol replied, his smile growing wider.
"Hol, you're scaring me," Clara mumbled, looking at the sadistic smile.
"So how does that… ooooooooooh," a light bulb seemed to light up in Ellis' head, and his smile twisted in a sadistic smirk. "Hehehehe, oh this will be fun."
Oh god, this is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!
Ellis turned to Clara and handed her a map.
"I marked the lunch hall. Everyone will be waiting for you in a few minutes, but I want you to give us 10. Me and Hol have to do something," the two began to snicker as they led Clara to the vip lunch hall.
==}—
Hol and Ellis entered the room and quickly scouted out Goron's location. The two grabbed some drinks and stood within earshot of Goron.
"Hey, Ellis. Did you hear what went down with the cooking hero today?" Hol said, just a bit too loudly. Ellis glanced over Hol's shoulder and raised his mug to signal that Goron Rancei heard him.
"Yeah, I heard that our head chef screamed at them for hours and worked them half to death in the kitchen today," he replied, putting on a concerned expression. "When the queen heard, she was livid! Said she was gonna send over some people to execute him live on record."
"Hey, what are you two talking about?" Goron asked, walking up to them.
"Oh hey, Goron. We heard you bullied our new cooking hero today. Have anything to say for yourself?" Hol asked, swapping to a creepy looking weapon form with rust and nails sticking out and glaring at Goron. Ellis did the same, except his look looked like it could kill.
Goron seemed to shrivel up under the glare of two livid and fully armed vassal heroes, despite being taller than both of them.
"H-hey, what do you mean?! I-I haven't even seen the cooking he-," he began, but was interrupted when Ellis and Hol both turned towards the door.
"Hey! Clara! We saved you a table!" Ellis yelled, his aura doing a complete 180. He waved Clara over and smiled as he watched the head chef's face pale.
"Wha-ah… hu… her…?" Goron sputtered out, pointing to Clara with his trembling finger.
"Yep. Better start praying for my man. It was nice knowing you," Hol said, patting Goron's shoulder.
"Hey, I heard she was pretty nice, so maybe if you ask really nicely, she could maybe get the queen to reconsider your fate. But it's a big maybe," Ellis added.
Clara approached the trio and smiled.
"Hey guys, what did I miss?" she asked, completely oblivious to what transpired. Goron sucked in a breath as if he was getting ready to jump. Then he fell to his knees and bowed to Clara.
"Holy Cooking Hero! Forgive me for not recognizing you right away! I beg you for forgiveness and for my horrible behavior earlier!" he yelled in a panic, not daring to lift his head.
Clara didn't understand what was happening. One hour this man was towering over her, but now he looked like a small puppy who was waiting for his punishment after he broke something.
"…What? What did I miss? What happened to the head chef?" she asked in a panic, looking over between Hol and Ellis,
Hol and Ellis both burst out laughing.
"Oh man! That was priceless! Please tell me you got a recording," Hol asked, turning to Ellis.
'I beg you for forgiveness and for my horrible behavior earlier!'
"This was genius. We're gonna put this in the museum," Ellis said, lifting the crystal jar.
Clara looked over at Goron, who got off the ground and towered over the two heroes, his face twisted in anger.
"Which one of you thought of this?" he asked. His voice seemed calm, but Clara could feel the boiling rage that was about to overflow and burn someone.
Without hesitation, Ellis pointed at Hol.
"He came up with it," he said, transforming his jar into a larger and more reinforced form.
"What?! Why are you selling me out!"
"It's for the good of the world! You're drunk on like half the missions!" he rationalized.
"YOU'RE BUILT LIKE A TANK! YOU'RE BASICALLY IMMORTAL!" Hol howled at the betrayal, but his attention quickly turned to the tower of terror slowly approaching him.
"Hol," Goron said calmly.
"Hey buddy… we can talk about this, right?"
"You f*cking bastard!" Goron lost it, pulled out a cleaver, and swung at Hol with the dull side of the blade. The vassal hero turned away and flew out of the room, with the livid chef running after him.
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!"