A knock on my bedroom door pulls me out of a dreamless sleep.
I hoped this sleep would have finally been different. Yesterday night, the night during which Kenneth entered my dreams, my abilities did not return. Yet I reasoned that, perhaps Kenneth's arrival had done something to gradually make me well again. Perhaps one more day, I thought to myself. One more day, and my strength in magic would surely recover.
Perhaps my hope was misplaced. Or perhaps my mother woke me up too soon.
I feel cool air on the tips of my fingers, where my hand hangs over the edge of the bed. I breathe in a burst of the air and quickly sit upright. The light is dim; it is early morning. My mother leans against the doorframe and inquires if I am awake. When I respond, she tells me that the front is approaching, and that she needs me to help her pack.
My mother enlists my help packing our belongings and supplies in wooden crates. Once the crates are filled, my mother and I begin carrying the crates into the hog cart. As I slide the last crate further into the cart, my eyes catch two hooded strangers standing at the edge of the forest on the other side of town, and for a moment I fantasize my master's return.
Why does my master torment me by staying invisible? I felt him read my mind. He should know at this point that I no longer resent him for punishing me. If only I could apologize to him. I would kneel before him, begging for him to take me back.
I then look up at the faint grey plumes of smoke in the western sky, and remind myself that it is not worth the risk to stay here.
"Rose? Rose! It's time to go! Get in the cart!" My mother yells as she sits in the center front of the cart, holding the reins.
Rose appears at the front door and closes the door behind her. She sulks disobediently and walks slowly toward the cart, then climbs into the cart beside my mother.
I climb into the cart on the other side of my mother, and the cart rocks slightly. I look around at the fresh wooden enclosure now surrounding me, which my mother finished assembling just over a week ago. It is just large enough that my father could also fit inside, if he had Rose on his lap. I miss my father so much. I wish I knew where he was.
My mother bumps the reins and the hogs advance forward, causing our seats to press against our backs. The scenery of the village marches by slowly, and a few minutes later we find ourselves riding through the forest, my childhood home now a fading memory.
In the early afternoon, Rose, my mother, and I disembark the hog carts and eat a meal of stuffed bread, then climb back onto the cart and resume our journey to Brendan's Clear. My mother tells me that Brendan's Clear is a small logging town, and there are empty buildings waiting for us, whose original inhabitants were drafted for the war effort.
My mother tells us many stories during the journey. Some are fictional tales, others are stories of crazy merchants she has done business with over the years, a few are stories of my mother's life from before I spawned on a pebble shore. My mother tells us many things to try and fill the silence, and distract us from what we have left behind.
As the sun disappears behind the trees, my mother pulls on the reins to stop the hogs and tells us the bad news.
"Brendan's Clear is still half a day away, so we have to sleep in the back of the cart tonight."
"But... what about the monsters?" I ask.
"The monsters can't sense you while you're asleep. We can rough it through. As long as we don't place any light sources, we can avoid attracting attention. I'll also ask your help to move the hogs somewhere else, so we can make the cart look abandoned."
I cannot believe my mother's words. "There must be some sort of shelter we can build."
"I can't build that fast, and besides, we need to save our supplies," my mother says. "Just, please help me untie the hogs from the cart."
I do as my mother says and start undoing the rein knots at the front of the cart. I feel like I have been deceived, yet I am certain my mother would not have us stranded in a forest intentionally. I wish I knew a magic spell to build a shelter. I wish I could still use any magic at all without killing myself in the process.
My mother joins me in untying the knots, then says, "Rose, can you please get yourself settled for bed in the back? It is very important you stay there because it's going to get dark soon."
Rose agrees and climbs out of her seat. A moment later, the cart doors open, and Rose's face appears from behind the crates, watching us untie the knots.
My mother and I each escort a hog between the trees, and tie them to tree trunks. My mother then leads me back to the cart, where Rose sits restlessly in front of the stacks of crates.
I climb inside of the cart. My mother fits both me and Rose with a pillow and thick wool blanket, then pulls the back doors to the cart closed, sealing the three of us inside. She places down a pillow of her own, covers herself with a blanket, and lays down between us, her legs bent to fit between the crates and the door.
"What if a monster finds us while we are laying in the cart?" I ask.
"I have a sword at my hilt. We will be safe," my mother insists. "If a skeleton decides to peek its head over the crates, I will lunge my blade through its skull."
"What if the skeleton does not wake you up?" I question.
"I will go to sleep last," my mother promises. "Trust me, Iris. The sooner you fall asleep, the sooner you will wake up to the bright light of the morning sun."
My mother strokes my cheek gently with the backs of her fingers, and tightens and smooths my blanket.
My mother then does the same to Rose, then says:
"Good night, my flowers. You have been very brave so far and I am very proud of you."
My mother's wonderful words warm me for a moment, until the cold from the approaching night reminds me of the danger to come.
The last light of dusk disappears. The inside of the hog cart becomes almost completely dark, with only faint moonlight creeping in from the front of the cart. I listen closely to the sounds of the faintly breathing wind and the chirping insects, waiting for a footstep or an undead growl to emerge behind them. Rose starts to shiver on the other side of the cart. I wonder if Rose will ever fall asleep.
Eventually, even my fear becomes dulled, and my mind fades away.