Chapter Eight

"I wanted to apologise for this morning. I was in a hurry … people were expecting me, waiting for me, and it was such a surprise seeing you there. You were not there this morning when I called a few minutes before, then you were and I –"

She was rambling and he caught himself before he smiled, remembering another reason why he had fallen in love with her. "You did not even wish me the time of day." he interrupted.

She stopped suddenly, "Neither did you me." she bit back.

He opened his mouth to say something back but he thought better of it, closing it again.

Anne found herself oddly upset at his disinclination to continue the discussion, in the past they would have argued back and forth jovially enjoying their banter. "Will you be visiting your brother for long?" she asked.

"No, I do not intend to. I have command of a ship."

"The Laconia." she nodded knowingly, her eyes brightened with what looked like pride, but Frederick knew it could not be that.

However, how did she know? Unless Edward had told her. "Yes." was all he said.

She blushed. "I have my copy of the Navy Listings and father's papers mention your name quite a bit." she explained. "I noted Captain Croft is an Admiral now. How are he and Mrs Croft? Still in the East Indies?"

He was somewhat taken aback at how much she had remembered, how informed she was, and how she had thought to ask about his family. It wasn't until much later that evening when he thought back on their conversation, did he remember he had given her the copy of Navy listing when he left in the year Six, had she really kept it all this time?

"They are both well. I am not sure where in the world they are at this precise moment, but with the war upon us it is no doubt he will be called back to where he is needed."

At the mention of the war Anne's face dropped. "I do wish I could have met them." she said almost to herself, in fact she looked quite alarmed she had said it out loud.

Frederick for his part was trying his best to appear as if he had not heard her. He had always longed for the two most important women in his life to have met, but alas, that was not to be. Now it never would. "How are your family? Are they well." he asked through gritted teeth not really caring in the slightest of the well-being of those who were so intent on destroying his.

Her demeanour changed again and he noted her shoulders hunched under the tension. "Yes they are well. Thank you."

"And your youngest sister Mary? She is now home from school I would presume?"

"Yes," she smiled. "She is becoming quite the young lady." A hint of mischief glimmered in her eyes and again he was reminded of the Anne of the past, his Annie.

They stood quiet again – it seemed so surreal, once they had spent so many hours talking about the most ridiculous things or debating about current affairs. Now they had nothing to say to one another. And yet, they both had everything to say as well.

A carriage passed by in the distance and Anne turned quickly, concerned it could be Lady Russel. "Oh it is just the Musgroves." she murmured turning back to him. Frederick's eyes immediately flashed recognition and she gasped. "The Musgroves! I must go! I..." she paused, visibly torn between doing what she wanted and what was right. But propriety would always win out. She composed herself. "Please excuse me Captain, I must leave you and return home."

The formality had returned in her tone and Frederick was more convinced than ever her impending union with Mr Musgrove was in existence. She half curtseyed and he bowed unable to say any more for fear of it all tumbling out of him, how he really felt inside. He would beg her not to leave, not to marry another – to think of him, of the way they were together.

He was about to walk away grateful of the fact he would be away from home and not around to witness the actual wedding when she turned back. "I suppose if you are staying you will be at the Gould's card party tomorrow night? Your brother is invited."

There was something in her voice; was she implying she wanted him to attend? That had always been her way previously, he felt a glimmer of hope inside of him. "Will the Elliot family be in attendance?" he called after her.

She smiled cheekily and it was almost his undoing. "Perhaps. But I am no card player." And with that, she was gone.

No, you never were previously, he whispered to himself. She would hover around in the back ground distracting him with her presence without even knowing it, and causing him to lose many a hand to an undeserving opponent. The past should have brought him pain or at least sadness and animosity, but it was with a smile and a lighter step he returned to Edwards.

Anne had hoped the Musgroves' would not be too angry with her and she was right. After the initial awkwardness, they had tried to sweep the whole affair under the carpet as if it never happened. Mrs Musgrove had pulled Anne to her chest, embracing her in a motherly fashion and whispering that although she would have loved to have had her as a daughter, she hoped they could remain friends. Anne had assured the kind woman that was her wish too and then turned her attention to Charles sitting sullen in the corner. Mary was flittering around him in an attempt to draw a smile. Failing she had given up and moved away to the settee next to Elizabeth. Anne had taken a seat beside him. "Charles" she said kindly, "you must understand, I care about you very much but not … not like that."

He looked at her sadly and she thought she was making it worse. She got up to lead when he caught her hand. "Does your heart already belong to another?" he said quietly.

Anne looked around to ensure no one had heard his question and sat quickly back down. "What?" Her cheeks were flaming and she realised with mortification she had already given him an answer. "How did you know?" she asked.

"My parents believe it is Lady Russel's doing, that I am not bookish enough for you. But I do not believe that. You know your own mind and I do not think you would be so easily persuaded like that if you really loved me." Anne felt her body freeze and her mouth dry. If only he knew just how manipulated she had been in the past. "So all I can conclude is that your heart already taken." He looked over at the settee. "Mary mentioned something about a scandal. Something that was hushed up while she was at school."

Anne's eyes flickered to Mary wondering how much she had learned.

"Is he someone who is unsuitable? A bad sort. Someone you could never be with?" His eyes softened. "I cannot imagine any man would give you up so easily." he added quietly.

"Charles, please." she took a deep breath in letting it out again, it would not do for him to think so highly of her, she who had broken not one but two hearts in as many years. "All you need to know is that we" she gestured between the two of them "should not suit. We are so alike, you would grow bored of me; we are more like brother and sister than lovers. These past two years since your family moved into the area and became entwined with mine, you have become one of my closest acquaintance. I do not wish to lose you as a friend."

Charles took her hand. "You will not Anne, of that you can be sure. I am here for you as long as you need. I know I will find someone else who I hope I will find happiness with. My only wish if that you do the same." he said sincerely and covered her hand with his other.