Chapter Thirteen

Anne smoothed out her dress for the tenth time since she had arrived at the assembly rooms. She had spent the rest of the day after she parted from the Captain restless and frustrated. All their brief time together that morning had done, was widen the distance between them and create more confusion and hostility. She had deliberately mislead him in thinking she was engaged to another man- and why? To make him jealous? To appear the victor in their parting? To prove she had moved on, or just to get back at him for his comments about her being fickle natured? In truth it was a mixture of all those things.

She had wanted to see his reaction when she spoke of another man so warmly – was there a glimmer of the green eyed monster lurking in the back of his eyes? Or was it all her imagination? Was it too much to hope that he could still care enough about her, to envy another man of her attentions? She had been torturing herself over how markedly well he looked; so revered and confident, and she had wanted just a moment of him seeing her like that. Like the Anne of their past. And lastly, she had been angry with him for his assumption of her.

She had been persuaded under the guidance of another who only sought to advise her, but he implied her feelings were as easily manipulated as her choices. She had fallen for the Commander as he was then, fast and fierce. When he asked her for her hand she had had no qualms in saying yes. She wanted to marry him, to be his wife and those feelings were so strong and steadfast, she felt the same now, almost three years later. As far as she could tell, she would always have those feelings. And to think he presumed her over him in a brief conversation with her family, that she was too young to have truly loved him sincerely enough. Her love for him was what had driven her to let him go in the first place. Her head was so full of questions she wanted to ask and have answered, she nearly missed Charles' approach.

"Good evening Anne."

"Good evening Charles." She smiled warmly at him, pleased to see a friendly face. Almost on arrival her father, Elizabeth and Mary had all disappeared off in to the throng of the people to find someone worth their time to talk to. Anne had been awaiting her God Mother's arrival and that of the Wentworths' – she hoped with enough time between so that they would be prevented from another awkward meeting. Anne glanced over his shoulder quickly to ensure she didn't miss eithers arrival.

Charles noticed. "Are you watching for someone in particular?"

Anne blushed. "I am sorry Charles I was not attending."

Charles smiled sadly. "It is him is it not? The one your heart already belongs to?" he paused. "Captain Wentworth."

Anne felt the flush of her cheeks spread down to her shoulder. "Charles, I …"

He stepped in front of her and took her hand in his. "Do not be alarmed Anne, I doubt anyone else will have seen what I have. I have been observing you closely since my failed proposal." Anne opened her mouth to stop him from continuing but he was already speaking again. "I now know why – although happy with me, you would never have been truly happy, and although you may love me – you would never be in love with me. Your heart is no longer yours to give away."

Anne placed her hand on top of his squeezing it. "Charles you would not want my heart – for it was broken years ago and I doubt it shall ever heal. You are right, I have given my heart – my love- away and you deserve to be someone's first choice and a not a consolation prize."

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. She knew then they were friends again. It was only when Charles lowered her hand and they laughed at themselves affectionately, did they see who had witnessed the whole exchange.

Captain Wentworth stood clenching his fists, at his full height, his mouth taught and his jaw set. His gaze locked on the couple. It was only a slight pink to his cheeks and sad look in his eyes, which betrayed him his cold infuriated stance. When her eyes met his, they widened with shock and horror. What must he think? What must it have all looked like to him? After all she had implied at their meeting, surely he would consider this further proof that she was with Charles. In that moment after all her hours of wondering, she realised she did not wish him to part her company again thinking she was well, to think she had moved on and did not feel the pain of their broken attachment. He deserved to know the truth of just how excruciatingly difficult her survival had been over the past two and a half years.

Frederick could hardly move, he felt his body was shutting down around him, his breath caught in his throat, he felt his eyes sting with pain, and his heart slow to barely a beat as it cracked and broke all over again. His stomach flipped and caused him to worry he should be sick. He had known about Musgrove; had heard her talk of her betrothal. He had discussed it with Edward and had recompensed himself with the fact she would soon belong to another, but to see them together, to see her smile and laugh was all too much. It wasn't envy or anger he felt, just pure pain. Putting all his energy into his legs, he turned and walked away as quickly as he could.

Anne's hand left Charles and flew to her mouth covering her gasp. Tears were already filling her eyes. She rushed forward but Charles caught her arm, she looked at him. "I must go to him." she half sobbed, half begged.

"Not now." he whispered.

She followed his eyes as they landed on Lady Russel. She had just entered and was already watching her God Daughter closely. Anne felt her pulse quicken and devastation fill her chest. "Let me go Charles" she said at last.

"If you follow him now, she will assume-"

Anne let out a sigh. "She knows. She's always known. They all do."

Charles was momentarily surprised. He knew Mary had mentioned a scandal, but she knew no details and he had presumed Anne had kept the unsuitable man's identity secret. That that was the scandal. He wished he knew all the details so that he could help her more. "Still," he said carefully, "if you go, she will probably follow. Allow me to go in your stead."

"What?"

"I can carry any message or just explain what he observed." said Charles earnestly.

Anne bit her lip worryingly, she wanted to go herself, but Charles was right. The moment she followed Frederick, Lady Russel would follow her. "Very well. Tell him … tell him I meant what I said. I will find a way and that not everything is as it seems."

Charles nodded and moved discreetly through the crowds, before Anne had the chance to warn him of the Captain's misunderstanding regarding the relationship between the two of them.

Mrs Finch had witnessed much of what had occurred over the past few minutes and realised she at least could be some help. She made her way to the young lady. "Miss Anne how do you do?" she said, standing in front of her, blocking her from Lady Russel's view.

"Mrs Finch. I am rather bad company this evening. Excuse me I must-"

"Perhaps you would like to retire early?"

The old lady was breathing heavily and Anne wondered if the rumours surrounding her ill health were correct. She had become to care for the interfering but endearing lady and should not wish her unwell. She observed Mrs Finch clothes looked a little looser, although it was obvious she had taken great pain to hide the fact. Anne recognised the little signs, she had seen it in her own reflection often enough. The lady's overall appearance was thinner and greyer. It was Anne's sad opinion that a bout of any illness could damage her greatly.

Anne pulled her attention back to the now and frowned, not only would that prevent her from speaking to Frederick, she had no way of getting home early - even if she wanted to.

Sensing her latter concerns Mrs Finch smiled. "You may take my carriage."

"Oh no Mrs Finch, I will remain here, please. I should like to stay. In any case how would you get home?"

"Oh my man will come back for me, it is no trouble." She tucked Anne's arm under in hers and walked towards the coat room. "Now you gather your things and I will make your excuse. I just need to find someone to accompany you home."

"Oh no Mrs Finch." Anne pleaded. "Please, I should stay, I want to stay." she repeated.

"Nonsense my dear. You look quite done in. Stay here and I will be back shortly."

Anne considered moving; to go and find somewhere to hide. But it would be rude of her after Mrs Finch was going to so much trouble for her, and ever the people pleaser, Anne remained and did as she was told. Frederick would have to wait. It was doubtless he would not want to talk with her after what he had witnessed anyway. She just hoped he would see sense after Charles spoke with him and want to speak with her again before her left. What if she woke to the news he had left without warning or goodbye? Like last time. No it was different this time, they were not involved, not even friends, her actions would have no bearing on his. And Charles had gone to speak with him. To put things right.