Chapter Eighteen

The Musgroves had decided to leave the day after the next, to give Captain Wentworth time to let his peers know of his intentions and to allow the Musgroves to make their own arrangements. Charles, Frederick and Richard were to travel on horseback, while the Musgroves and Anne would share their comfortable carriage. Anne decided to leave informing her god mother while last, she knew she would be the one who would be most displeased with her going to a port to look at ships. Regardless of whether Anne mentioned him by name or not, Lady Russel would know Captain Wentworth was involved somehow. Whether directly or not, he would be to blame for Anne wishing to spread her wings a little.

It was to Anne's mortification therefore, as she entered the parlour intent on telling her father her plans, she found the very woman she thought of sat beside her sister Elizabeth, Mary and her father. Anne took a deep breath releasing it slowly. She had turned down Charles Musgrove and been able to stand firm in front of them, why now were her legs wobbly? They will know, she thought. As she greeted them all and went to sit down, only Lady Russel acknowledged her appearance. Immediately asking her where she had been and looking at her in disbelief when Anne told her she had been to the Musgroves to test their new piano.

When it was quiet Anne began. "Actually, the Musgroves are planning a short trip for the day after the morro," she paused sensing no one was listening her to story. "And they have invited me along." At this all heads turned to her.

"A trip? Where?" asked Elizabeth.

"To Plymouth." She swallowed, she could feel her god mothers full attention on her. Hearing the answer Elizabeth was no longer interested and turned back around lazily.

"Why on earth would they want to take a trip to Plymouth?" inquired her father.

Anne looked down avoiding their eyes where possible. "Richard Musgrove is intending a career in the navy and they wish to accompany him there to see what life is really like, and the ships and things."

"And just why have they asked you to accompany them?" Mary probed.

"To be a companion for Mrs Musgrove. Henrietta and Louisa are both too young, and she wishes for a female to accompany her."

"Well they might have considered me. No one ever considers me." wailed Mary.

Anne turned her attention back to her father. "The Musgroves have organised everything and tell me they will cover all expense."

Her father suddenly looked affronted. "Expense? Do the Musgroves think a Baronet of Kellynch cannot afford to send his daughter on a trip to Plymouth?"

"Does that mean you are giving me permission to go? Anne asked hopefully.

Her father looked like he might be, before referring to her god mother. "What do you think of this Lady Russel?"

The lady had remained silent up until that moment and Anne was sure she would have something to say about the matter. "I would like to know who else is going on the trip?" she asked pointedly.

"Mr and Mrs Musgrove, Richard and Charles." Anne rattled off without pause.

"No one else?"

Anne hesitated, and she knew Lady Russel had noted the pause. "Not that I am aware of." she said slowly, feeling her cheeks heat and praying she was not blushing under her god mothers watchful gaze. "But I am not privy to all of the Musgroves plans." There. It was only a white lie. She hadn't said for definite he was not coming, only that she was not sure. After all, there was always a chance he could be too busy. But as she said it she knew she was only fooling herself. The fact was, if Lady Russel had a mind to ask, and Anne was sure between then and when they departed she would have, the Musgroves would be all too willing to tell her how the lovely Captain Wentworth was the leader of their little fact finding expedition.

"How long will you be staying?" her God Mother continued. Anne knew she would be consciously stealing away all snippets of information Anne was sure she would use later to her advantage.

"I will be gone for only three nights. We will travel down in the morning the day after tomorrow, stop off at Exeter for the night, and then on to Plymouth the following day, after spending the night there we shall return home in the same manner as the journey there. As far as I know." This time she answered truthfully. They were all the details she did know regarding their itinerary.

"I have a head ache. I am going for a lie down." Mary announced bringing the attention and gazes around to her. Sir Walter only nodded at his youngest daughter while Lady Russel smiled. Elizabeth had her nose buried in the society pages leaving Anne praying she could find an excuse to leave.

Once she had quit the room Lady Russel spoke once more. "I think Mary is disappointed she has not also been invited. How about you Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth looked up, her mouth gapping. "Me? Go with the Musgroves to Plymouth. Oh I think not. I have much to do here. But by all means take Mary." she sneered. "Although no doubt she will suffer greatly from the journey." she mumbled.

"Perhaps a bout of fresh air would do her well. She is very prone to illnesses and her nerves could do with some bolstering."

It was Anne's turn to gape. "I am not sure … that is Mrs Musgrove had only invited me as her companion. I do not know if it would be prudent or polite to invite Mary along at the Musgroves expense." She looked to her father but his attention was back on the looking glass.

"I am sure the Musgroves would make an allowance this once." replied her god mother. "I will speak with them.

And so there it was. Lady Russel's excuse to enquire after their trip and whom might be attending. Anne should have known. Her heart sank, foolishly she still chose to believe there was good in her god mother and she only had her best interests at heart. If only she could make her see that Frederick Wentworth was in her best interests. Anne had already suffered two lonely years without him, knowing she had made a mistake. Granted this time she was not facing the same choices. He had not proposed, or renewed his sentiments in any way, but she longed for them to be friends at least, so that she may not dread ever meeting him accidently. It would be nice to speak of him without the feeling of guilt weighing her down. To think he may think of her or speak her name without feelings of hatred.

Anne rose and stepped away on the pretence of moving away from the heat of the fire, she stared out of the windows at the gardens and wished she was far away from the house and the watchful eyes of her relations. She loved them dearly, but lately she felt more and more of an outsider. It did not help by her awareness of the financial state of the estate and worries that between them Elizabeth and her father would soon have spent their way through what reserves the family had. Whenever she tried to bring up the subject of economising she got shouted down. She thought back to Charles' proposal and how, maybe, she had been a little bit selfish. She could have gone lessening the burden on her father. But at what expense to herself and her happiness? True she had hardly been happy of late, but marriage was final and she wouldn't- couldn't- put herself through something so binding whenever there was a chance there was another out there for her. Maybe a far away someone she was yet to meet, or maybe someone in the next village that she knew all too well.

She looked back at her family to find Lady Russel preparing to leave. Anne let out a heavy sigh. She should suppose thank the lord she had not been subjected to too much questioning on her return from The Assembly. She knew Lady Russel must have known they had left together. Unless Mrs Finch had construed some cover story. And yet she had faced no reproof from her family. Yet. In truth she doubted, other than her god mother, her family even remembered the young man who had once seen something in Anne Elliot that made him want her as his wife. She doubted her father had given him a second thought since the day he left their company in the year six.

"Anne?" Lady Russel was addressing her.

She turned back to face the lady. "Yes."

"I will go to call on Mrs Musgrove now, would you like to accompany me?"

"Now?" Anne cried desperately, she had hoped for some time to prepare. "I mean… I have only just returned. And what of Mary? We have not even asked her if she even wishes to go."

"Regardless of her wishes, I think it would be good for her. And less awkward for you."

"Awkward?"

"Well my dear surely it will be difficult for you to travel and spend time with the man whose heart you may have broken."

Anne coloured instantly; she felt her cheeks heat and tingle with blush. She opened her mouth to say something but her words failed her. She still lacked the courage to stand up to her closest friend. She, who in the place of her own ma'ma, had been such a comfort to her. How could she face her when she discovered she had lied?

"Charles will want someone there to distract him from his sorrow at losing your hand." Lady Russel smiled tightly, just as Anne felt her entire body sag with relief.

She could no longer carry the deception, as the stepped outside Anne took her god mother by the hand. "Lady Russel I should tell you there is a good chance Captain Wentworth will be joining the Musgroves on the trip. He is a naval captain and his ship the Laconia docks at Plymouth. Mrs Musgrove has said she has questions she hopes the Captain will be able to answer for her."

Lady Russel's mouth was twisted and her eyes hard as she looked at Anne with quiet discord. Anne had seen this look before and although she knew deep down the lady meant her no malice, it was hard not to be affected by the cold stare.

"I see." She walked towards the carriage with Anne trailing behind. She didn't speak again until they were within the privacy of the carriage. "I suppose I should be grateful for you being honest with me at least, but I find am I disappointed this honesty cold not show itself earlier Anne."

"I was not being dishonest." Anne argued. "I do not know for certain if he will be attending or not. He has his own business to take care of, readying the ship for his departure next month."

At this revelation the Lady's face softened. "Next month?" She nodded to herself. "You seem to be well informed my dear."

"I am only repeating what he has told the Musgroves."

"So he is to leave us again. And soon." Lady Russel looked away from Anne out of the window, but Anne could have sworn she saw her smiling.