7/29/19
(Earlier tonight)
5 hours before Raw, Lincoln Loud walked around the arena of tonight's Raw episode with his baby sister and current 24/7 champion Lily. He would curse his sisters out for breaking the promise they made it Ronnie Anne later, but right now he has to protect his sister from any challengers. Which was surprisingly easy, everywhere they went people who wanted to take the title from her immediately retreated.
"Winky?"
"Relax Lily, we're almost there. We just have to find someone that's not Shane McMahon and tell them you're dropping that title." Lincoln told his sister, she babbled annoyed at the prospect "I know it stinks, but this title has caused many people great pain. You saw how that Bakugou guy nearly kill that KO kid when he won, or when Shane attacked Max?" Lily shivered at the mentions of those title wins.
"Exactly, I don't want the same thing to happen to you." he cooed to her. Lily then lifted her head as they entered a bay area, she saw something heading right towards them.
"CAH! CAH! CAH!"
"Lily what's wrong-" Lincoln asked before he was then hit by a light blue vehicle, Lily was sent flying into a nearby crate. Don't let her infancy fool you, her constant sibling fights have made her quite durable. Though she was still stunned, she saw the driver hop out of the car and went wide eyed when she saw an overweight man with small glasses, a white shirt, green jeans, and brown loafers. This was Family Guy's Peter Griffin, the perhaps the most retarded adult in history with a track record that would have him locked away forever.
"Oops, my bad. But I will take that." he uncaringly said before he pinned the baby. Ref Mike Chioda, who was still disgusted by Griffin's actions, counted the pin anyway.
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Peter Griffin was like that, the new 24/7 champion.
(at the start of Raw)
Peter was right now in the ring, lounging in the northeast corner ignoring all the raining boos for how he won the 24/7 title, and all of his other misdemeanors. The crowd hated him more than Roman Reigns at the 2015 Royal Rumble.
Renee: How is someone that cruel? (disgusted)
Corey: This is the same guy that frequently abuses his own family, blew up a children's hospital, and won the Boston Marathon by literally running over all the runners with his car!
Michael: We have word that Lincoln and Lily Loud are in stable condition, they were sent to a local medical facility and have been reported to be out in about 24 hours.
(ding, ding, ding)
Mike: The following contest is a fatal 4 way falls count anywhere elimination match, for the WWE 24/7 championship!
(cue: Limit Break x Survivor, Dragon Ball Super Opener)
The crowd gave a thundering ovation, especially to the person that came out onto the stage.
Mike: First, representing the Z Fighters, Krillin!
The diminutive Z Fighter came out with his orange gi, purple shoes, and bald head. He waved to the crowd of screaming fans, before sending a death glare to the fat man in the ring. "As a father to a little girl, I find your heartlessness offensive." he said before using instant transmission to the ring.
Renee: Strong words coming from a father, his daughter Marron would be appalled by Peter's hideous personality.
Michael: He said he finds the way he treats his family and everyone around him offensive.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!
(cue: I came to Play)
Mike: Next, from Hollywood California, weighing at 221 lbs, he is the A-Lister, THE MIZ!
Michael: Here come's another father, with the Miz!
Corey: Monroe has to be cheering for her daddy at home, I'm sure she would have a word with Peter and the way he treats his daughter Meg.
Miz walked down the ring shedding his robe to show his ring gear, sending a dark look to the 24/7 championship. "How can someone who treats his children like his personal punching bags call themselves a father? Scum like you make me sick!"
Just then the crowd gave a thunderous ovation to the next combatant, who came out to some soft music. He was a rugged looking 50-something year old man with dark hair littered with grey stands in his hair and beard, a flannel shirt over a black undershirt, a pair of jeans, and brown loafers. He was accompanied by a 19 year old girl with short red hair, a red and white shirt, skinny jeans, and white shoes.
Mike: Lastly, accompanied to the ring by Ellie, from The Last of Us, JOEL!
Michael: OH MY GOD!
Corey: They're here!
Renee: Joel from The Last of Us, has been through so much in the apocalypse. Losing his daughter to those monsters, you better believe he has a very important lesson he would like to teach Peter.
Michael: As per the rules stimulated by Stephanie McMahon, who we know is overseeing Raw and Smackdown after Shane McMahon was arrested for battery and child abuse when he won the 24/7 title from Max.
When Joel enter the ring, he, Miz, and Krillin all ambushed Peter in the corner as the ref called for the bell. Each of them pummeling the oafish man till he pushed them all away. Peter then nailed a clothesline to Miz, he sent Joel shoulder first into the turnbuckle, and nailed Krillin with a chokeslam. Much to the chagrin of the WWE universe.
Peter went for a cover.
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Krillin kicks out. Peter muttering a 'dammit'.
Peter then stomped away on Krillin before he was attacked from behind by Miz with a chopblock, Peter was down onto his knees before Miz started to nail his chest with kicks. Much like Daniel Bryan's Yes Kicks, Miz calls his the It Kicks. After about ten kicks he stepped back before he sent one to Peter's head, but Griffin caught the kick and countered with a huge power bomb.
Peter then taunted the crowd, drawing some major heat as he told them to "Kiss his big fat ass!" before he grabbed Miz and tossed him into the southeast corner. Peter then laughed before he stuck his butt into the Miz's face, much like Rikishi's Stinkface much to the crowd's disgust. He then proceeded to let out a loud fart, Miz coughing uncontrollably from the fumes.
Just then the crowd let out a standing ovation as someone hopped the barricade and slid into the ring, this being Peter's daughter Meg, who he tormented for 17 years clocked him with a beer bottle. "That's for all the farts in my face!" she then slid out of the ring and grabbed a kendo stick before she went back in and nailed Peter in the ribs with it "That's for leaving me to drown in that house flood!" she then slammed in his back, "That's for making me the family punching bag!"
Peter was now down to a knee, Meg then finished her attack off by bouncing off the ropes and nailing a Curb Stomp driving her dad's face into the mat. "THAT'S FOR BEING THE WORST FATHER EVER!" she then gave him one last kick before she left the ring. The crowd chanting 'THANK YOU MEG! THANK YOU MEG! THANK YOU MEG!' as she left.
Joel, who slid back into the ring hooked Peter's leg.
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Mike: Peter Griffin has been eliminated.
We are now guaranteed a new champion. Joel didn't have anytime to react before he was kneed in the face by Krillin. Krillin then charged at Miz, who dodged and the tiny bald man rammed head first into the turnbuckle. Mix then caught him with his signature backbreaker followed by a neckbreaker, he then hooked the leg.
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Krillin kicked out.
Miz then picked up Krillin and placed him in the northwest corner, he then procced to land a series of kicks to his chest before Miz ran to the oppostite corner. Miz charged and nailed a running dropkick, then a second dropkick, then a third. And as Miz went his forth one Krillin brought his fingers to his temple "Solar Flare!" just then Krillin let out a blinding light, everyone everted their eyes from the brightness. Miz however got immediately blinded and stumbled around holding his eyes in pain.
Krillin then rolled him up with a school boy.
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Mike: The Miz has been eliminated.
Krillin silently cheered for himself before he was caught in a full nelson lock by Joel, who locked his fingers in to complete the Master Lock. The survivor flung Krillin from one side to the other with the little man struggling to escape, Krillin got a couple elbow shots to Joel's head but he was still trapped. Eventually Krillin's movements got slower and slower until he eventually went limp.
The ref lifted up his arm and watched it drop to the side before calling for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Joel dropped the unconscious man as Ellie hopped into the ring and embraced her adoptive father for his victory.
Mike: Here is your winner, and the new WWE 24/7 champion... JOEL!
The crowd gave a loud ovation for the match, and for the victor as he was handed the title. He and Ellie didn't have much time before a mob of superstars came down to the ring, they quickly slid out of the ring and hopped over the barricade where Joel scooped Ellie up and made a beeline for the exit. They may have survived an apocalypse, but this might be even worse.
Can Joel use his survival skills to keep the 24/7 title? How is Peter Griffin not in jail yet? Who will be the next to hold the championship? Find out next time.
Title changes: Peter Griffin def. Lily Loud for the 24/7 championship, Joel won an Fatal-4-Way elimination style match to win the 24/7 championship