Chapter 8 The cat is out of the bag

28. March 1997

Dear Diary,

today Mariah came to the Walsh-House. She´s an aspiring young writerin who Brandon met on a trip to Alamo.

She came straight from New York to publish her book on New Age. We hit it off and I showed her the beach. We talked about Brandon on the way back to the apartment building. That he was the one who encouraged her to write the book. Yes, Brandon could be very persuasive. The next day her book launch was on campus. And of course it was a complete success. There was applause and questions without end. Mariah told us that she got tickets for a harp concert and wanted to invite us all. Why not? Brandon agreed immediately. Tracy and I were there too. It was something different and it was great. I enjoyed this time. But Brandon and Steve came alone. Brandon had had a fight with Tracy again and so had Steve and Clare. Suddenly a woman came up to us and brought Steve a bouquet of red roses. They were from Clare. There you are. Steve went to Clare and they reconciled. Meanwhile, Brandon and I stayed alone in the front row. I asked Brandon where Mariah was. He said she couldn´t attend the concert because she had to go back to New York. A pity. I would have liked to have spoken to her. After the concert we left the square together. Steve and Clare went ahead and were suddenly gone. Just Brandon and I were there. Suddenly we were alone in the square. I was cold. I didn´t have a jacket with me. Brandon gave me his. We looked at each other. Then it happened…we kissed. It was like paradise. We both had our butterflies again. I felt that. But it was wrong. Brandon was with didn´t want to get that close anymore. We separated and walked away from each other. I turned and saw Brandon´s back. Oh god…what have we done…

Kelly

5. April 1997

Dear Diary,

today was the KEG/Alpha Spring Fest Talent Show at the Campus Theater. After that I met up with Brandon. He broke up with Tracy. He confessed that he couldn´t get our kiss out of his head. Neither do I anymore. We wanted to meet the following evening. In Yamashiro. A great Japanese restaurant. I was so excited. In the evening there was a knock at the door. A telegram. It was from Dylan! He had to see me. He would be in L.A. the next day. I was supposed to come to the airport. What was that? What was he doing in America? He was in London after all. At Brenda. Since I knew that the meeting would not last long, I didn´t say anything to anyone, but drove to the airport the next evening and waited at the agreed meeting point. But Dylan didn´t come. Was I angry or disappointed? I think I was more irritated. I drove back tot he campus theater. But Brandon wasn´t there. Now I was mad and disappointed and drove to Brandon. As soon as he opened the door I confronted him. I had been waiting for him at the Yamashiro for over an hour. Brandon told me he saw me at the airport. He knew about the supposed telegram from Dylan. He asked me why I dressed up like that. Maybe for Dylan? He accused me of still being in love with Dylan. But that wasn´t true. I didn´t love Dylan at all. I´m in love with Brandon. I explained to him that I dressed up for our date. To prove it, I showed him the necklace with the engagement ring. Brandon was surprised I still had it. I told him I bought the ring back. And that I didn´t want another woman to get it. I waited for a reaction. Brandon looked touched. Finally he came up to me and said he loved me. I loved him too. Then we finally kissed. It was wonderful. I finally felt him again. I had Brandon back.

Kelly

Sammy looked up. It was so romantic what his Mom wrote.

But unfortunately the diary was not over yet. He wished it was over. It should have stayed that way. Then curiosity got the better of him. He turned to the last page.

17. May 2000

Dear Diary,

was it a beautiful day today. Donna and David finally got married. Now her name is Donna Silver. It will be strange to call her Mrs Silver. But I´m so happy for her. She married her highschool sweetheart. Unfortunately Brandon didn´t come. I wished so badly that he would come back to me. I missed him. But Dylan was with me. Was that our destiny? Shouldn´t it be with Brandon? How many times had Brandon said he loved me. And yet he wasn´t here. Brenda didn´t show up either. Had the Walshes completely forgotten about us? Of course I enjoyed having Dylan with me…"

Sammy stopped.

Dylan? Uncle Dylan? His mother was with his uncle Dylan?

„Noooo…" Sammy was talking to himself, laughing and shaking his head in disbelief. That couldn´t be. He read on.

„…although it was still closed. That hadn´t changed. And now here we are. Matt had been here too. He leaves town to live with his sister-in-law and be a surrogate father to his nephew. He is a good man. Very different from Dylan. Maybe I should go with him but I don´t want to leave my friends…"

Matt? Which Matt?

„Oh No. Not again another new guy." Sammy whimpered loudly. „Was there a man in Beverly Hills that Mom didn´t dated?" Sammy started talking to himself again.

So ok. Matt was gone now too. But the name Dylan popped up again. Sammy read on.

„…and I didn´t want to leave Dylan either. He was the only one left to me. When I said goodbye to Matt, Dylan was there. He smiled at me. I went to him and the group. Donna and David gave a speech. And we all, Dylan, Donna, David, Steve, Janet and I toasted champagne. Then Dylan asked if I wanted to dance with him or if I wanted to wait. But I´d waited long enough. Finally we kissed…"

„Stop! It´s enough!" Sammy screamed, tossing the book in the corner and ruffling his curls.

He didn´t want to read the rest. His Mom and uncle Dylan!

Sammy got up and paced his room. He read the last entry again.

Finally we kissed…

Tears welled up in Sammy´s eyes. He couldn´t believe it. He read the entry for the third time. He could hardly think straight.

Sammy was completely exhausted. Not only had his mother apparently dated all of Beverly Hills, she had even kissed Dylan. His uncle.

The more he thought about it, the angrier he got.

Why did his mother kiss Dylan? Wasn´t he with aunt Brenda? Sammy got the diary, flipped through the last entry and read it again. Brenda hadn´t attended this wedding. Had she and Dylan broken up? And Brandon hadn´t shown up either. What had happened?

Sammy thought of Toni. Did she know that her Dad and his Mom dated and even…kissed?

Try as he might, he couldn´t imagine his Mom and Dylan together.

His Mom was with Nath. He would have preferred to confront her now. How did that happen? His Mom and his uncle?

This was too much for Sammy.

He threw himself on his bed and cried bitterly. He felt like his hea would explode. He cried like a Baby. He didn´t hear Kelly and Nath come home. Nath must have heard him. He stormed into his room.

„Sammy, what´s going on?"

But Sammy couldn´t answer him. He buried his head in the pillow. Nath panicked. He fetched Kelly.

„Sammy, honey, what´s the matter with you?" Kelly sat down on the bed next to her eldest, wanting him to look at her.

And Sammy slowly stopped crying. Anger rose in him. He got up slowly, got out of bed and got the diary. He held it out to Kelly. She swallowed.

„W-Where did you get that from?" She looked at her son anxiously.

„I found it in the basement." Sammy was breathing fast.

He seethed with anger. „Is it true that you had dated Uncle Dylan?" He yelled.

Kelly flinched and looked down. She was ashamed. She had hoped that story would never reach her ears again.

„Sammy, now is not the right time…"

„Is that right?" Sammy cut it off.

Kelly took a deep breath. „Yes, it´s right. We went out."

„How could you? I thought he was with aunt Brenda?"

Kelly closed her eyes. She didn´t know how to teach this story to her thirteen year old son.

„And there were other guys…Mark, Tom, Matt..who were they? Did you dated all of them? I thought Dad was your only one."

„Sammy, it´s not what you think it is." Kelly tried to explain.

„Does Dad know about this?"

Kelly breathed. „Yes. He knows about it. Dad…"

But Sammy didn´t let her finish.

„Get out Mom. I can´t see you right now." Sammy turned away from her.

Kelly took a deep breath again. She got up in desperation and left Sammy´s room.

She collapsed onto the sofa in the living room and cried too. Nath came to her.

„Mommy, what´s wrong?" He sat down next to his mother.

Kelly looked up and just hugged her youngest son. Nath was completely irritated. First his brother, now his mother. Then he heard the front door open. His father came back from Steve.

Brandon was about to greet his family when he saw his wife crying on the sofa and hiss on trying to comfort her.

„What happened?" Brandon asked in surprise.

„I think Mommy is crying because of Sammy. I heard him yelling at her earlier." Nath enlightened his father.

Brandon went to his wife on the sofa and tried to hug her. Tears ran down Kelly´s face.

„Honey, what´s up?" Brandon stroked her blond hair.

„Sammy found my diary. He read it. Now he hates me." Kelly sniffed.

Brandon swallowed. „Did he read everything?"

„He knows about all my relationships. And especially Dylan."

Brandon sighed. He hoped that this twenty-year-old story would not repeat itself. He and Kelly had been married for fourteen years. Just like Dylan and Brenda. They both had extremely harmonious marriages.

„How am I supposed to tell my thirteen-year-old son about my past? About my boyfriends? I had many, very many. Already in Highschool." Kelly started crying again. „He´ll think I was a whore. And he´s right. I was a whore."

„You were young and you were always chasing men…or chasing boys."

„I know." Kelly wiped the tears from her face. „And I regretted everything."

„We´ll talk to Sammy. Together."

„No." Kelly looked determinedly at Brandon. „I have to go through that alone. It´s my past and I have to learn to live with it."

Brandon nodded. He understood.

„How was Steve?" Kelly changed the subject.

Brandon grinned and scratched the back of his head. „He had to show me his latest car again. Typical Steve."

Kelly laughed too. Steve and his cars.

But then her smile faded. She thought about Sammy again. She finally wanted to explain everything to him.

With shaky knees, she walked into Sammy´s room. Brandon took Nath outside. Nath protested loudly. He also wanted to know what was going on but Brandon was adamant. That was nothing for an eleven-year-old. Sammy had his back to his Mom. He was clutching the diary tightly.

„Hey honey." Kelly cautiously walked into his room.

Sammy didn´t make a sound.

Kelly sat down on her son´s bed and cleared her throat. „You found my diary. Well, I´m here to talk to you about it."

Sammy turned around. His gaze was icy.

„Good Sammy." Kelly nervously brushed her hair back from her face. „What questions do you have for me?"

Sammy looked at her. He was still angry. „Why uncle Dylan?"

Kelly closed her eyes. It was time for the truth.

„I´ve known Uncle Dylan since kindergarten. I thought he was great at the time. And when we got into Highschool, I wanted to date him. But he didn´t want too. He fell in love with Aunt Brenda. And I was really happy for her. But the longer they were together, the more jealous I became. And when Aunt Brenda was on vacation with Aunt Donna, I used the opportunity…"

Kelly opened her eyes to see her son´s reaction. She was startled. Sammy glared at her venomously. As if he already knew what Kelly wanted to tell him.

Kelly saw at him. „…I took Uncle Dylan away from Aunt Brenda."

If Sammy didn´t already have a deadly glare, his glare was worse now.

„YOU HAVE WHAT?" He yelled.

Kelly closed her eyes again and clasped her hand. Her voice trembled.

„I took Uncle Dylan away from Aunt Brenda." Her voice cracked.

„YOU MEAN BITCH." Sammy yelled at her.

Kelly looked at him with red eyes. But Sammy was unstoppable.

„Not only that you´ve dated a lot of guys…" He threw her diary in front of her feet „even Uncle Dylan." Sammy was breathing so fast his face turned bright red.

„Honey, I…"

„Get out here mother. I don´t want to see you." Sammy turned around.

„Can I explain it to you?" Kelly tried again.

„OUT!" He just screamed.

She got up and left Sammy´s room without a word.

Only when he heard the door did Sammy turn around again.

Kelly stood by the window and watched Brandon and Nath play basketball. The tears ran down her face. Her own son hated her. She didn´t even notice Brandon and Nath high-five outside and then come inside. Brandon looked at his wife.

„He hates me." Crying, she fell into Brandon´s arms.

Brandon hugged his wife.

„My son hates me." Kelly cried into Brandon´s shoulder. „And he has every reason."

Brandon rubbed her back. He felt both compassion for his wife and understanding for his son.

„I´d like to say that it´s not all that bad, but…"

„I know Brandon." She looked at him. „Don´t you think I´m not ashamed of my past? YES, I was the class slut. YES, I had that reputation in Highschool. YES, I dated every week another guy. I know my list of guys is long." Again she cried into Brandon´s chest. „And YES, I stole Dylan away from Brenda. It was a goddamn mistake that I can never fix." Kelly cried so hard she couldn´t speak. „I´d love to undo it all."

Brandon didn´t say anything just held her tight.

Nath didn´t know what was going on at all.

His brother didn´t want to talk to anyone and his Mom cried miserably.

Brandon saw hiss on watching them both.

„I have Nath to take care of." Brandon whispered in Kelly´s ear.

Kelly nodded and Brandon went into the kitchen with Nath to make dinner.

He prepared a plate for Sammy and took it up to Sammy´s room.

„Sammy, this is Dad. May I come in?"

„Leave me alone, everyone." He only heard his son´s muffled, tearful voice.

„I´ll put a plate in front of the door for you. If you want to talk, I´m in my office." Brandon offered.

But not a word came from Sammy.

Brandon put the plate on the floor in front of the door and then walked away.

He saw the door open and Sammy brought in the plate.

Brandon understood his son. He had a lot to process now.

The cat is out of bag…now Sammy know about Kelly and Dylan. I hope I could descrive his reaction well.

I know from a similar situation and the reaction of the child was exactly like Sammys.

I think a thirteen-year old boy know words like bitch. And these meaning.