I totally forgot to thank the ever-awesome 2brown-eyes for reading all the chapters I send her XOXO!

THEN
AUGUST 1991

Long Cold Winter—Cinderella

Same shit.

Different summer.

Our last summer.

Edward twists the doobie around and sticks the fire in his mouth. I move closer, lips a breath apart, as I take in the skunky smoke. I rock my hips as I inhale, pressing my center into his hardness.

He lolls back with a groan, pulling the joint from between his lips. "Goddamn, baby," he murmurs, wrapping his free hand in my hair and pulling me down she he can shove his tongue into my mouth. "Gonna miss this so fucking much."

Sadness swells inside me, but I push it down. I promised myself that I wouldn't ruin our time together until the absolute last minute has almost leaked away. So push the heaviness away and give him all of me.

Palming his cheeks, I thrust my tongue deep—twisting and rocking and diving and moaning when the pleasure becomes too much. His hands are on me, slipping beneath my tank and unclipping my bra. Goosebumps scatter down my arms when he palms my tits.

His lips leave mine and trail along my jaw to my neck where he pauses to rid me of my top. "Off, baby. I need to see you one last time."

Midway up my body, headlights flash across the rear window, and we freeze, eyes wide on each other. "Shit," he hisses, rushing to snap my bra.

I flop to the passenger seat, pulling down my shirt as I go. "This had better not be a false alarm."

Emmett's Iroc rolls into the empty spot beside us, passenger window already down. "'Sup, guys."

Edward's jaw is tight as he cuts his eyes to his cousin. "Oh, I don't know. We were just spending our last few minutes alone before I leave for months."

"Shit. Sorry." He shrugs, not looking apologetic enough for my liking. "I was hoping you had a half."

Edward smacks his palm into the steering wheel, pissed at being interrupted over dumb shit. "Do you really think I'm out here selling weed the night before I get on a five am flight to leave for, again, months?" The question is rhetorical because he keeps going. "I have a lot more shit on my mind that has nothing to do with your fucking need to get high. You do realize I'm moving three thousand miles away, right? Like, I'm leaving everything I care about behind. I'll be gone by the time you wake."

Tears prick the backs of my eyes, and I look out the passenger window while I wait for the moment to pass. Edward only agreed to go to Dartmouth after I threatened to break up with him if he turned it down. It was an empty threat since breaking up with him now was always in the cards.

I refuse to let him be boxed in.

If I'm really it for him, great.

I'd love that more than anything.

But I don't do regret.

And he can't be sure until he tries.

Lights flash across the bushes, and I turn back to my guy. The boy I love more than anything. The one who's spent the last two years at my side, learning and growing with me through thick and thin. He's the love of my short life, and it's going to kill me to let him go.

But I will.

I crawl across the car and settle back into his lap. His hands grip my hips, and his angry eyes meet mine. They soften immediately, his thumb reaching up to wipe a stray tear from my cheek. "What's this?"

I brush it off, thrusting my hips.

"Uh-uh." His fingers dig in, holding me in place. "What are the tears for?"

I shrug a shoulder, letting the lie roll off my tongue. "All that talk about you leaving got to me."

His eyes bore into mine, and I try like hell to hold his stare, but I can't. Instead, I distract. Fingers grip skin and lips seek, but he turns his head. I huff a breath and go for his neck. He's stiff beneath me, Adam's apple bobbing.

Nothing works.

We're stuck.

The moment I've dreaded most is suddenly here.

And I'm not ready.

I sigh, sitting up straighter. "Are you okay?"

"I will be," he says, eyes still boring into mine. "When you tell me this isn't the end."

"Edward…"

"No, Bella!" The vein in his forehead pulses, a sign of rare anger. "You don't get to do this."

"I have to," I whisper, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"No. No. No." He grips my cheeks and smashes his lips into mine.

It's a punishment.

He doesn't relent.

Doesn't open.

No soft passes.

No sweet words.

It's harsh.

Cold.

A chilling foreshadowing of the years to come.

"Please don't do this, baby," he says, putting his arms around me and pulling me tightly against him.

I sob in earnest now, but I shake my head all the same. "You can't change my mind."

"I know."

We sit like that, both of us crying for a solid five minutes. It hurts so fucking badly, but I know it's for the best. And he's always known it was coming.

I crawl back to my seat, wordless.

And he cranks the engine.

I turn on the stereo.

Long Cold Winter by Cinderella is playing, and the sad lyrics drone on for the entire ride home.

I've been down ooo, i've been down yea

Baby baby baby ooo i'm freezin'

I'm freezin', i'm freezin', i'm cold

So so so cold

It's gonna be a long cold winter

Long cold winter without your love yea

When he pulls to the curb in front of my house, he turns the stereo off and shifts to face me. "I get what you're doing, but I don't agree."

I shrug. "I love you, Edward, but this was always going to happen."

His jaw tightens. "I'd hoped I could make you love me enough that you wouldn't do this."

"Don't you see?" I implore him to understand. "It's because we love each other so much that this needs to happen. If I'm it for you, I'll still be that when I'm free to be with you."

He reaches over and grabs my nape, dragging me close enough so that he can press our foreheads together. "You're it for me, and if this stupid separation will prove that, then so be it."

"I love you." I kiss the corner of his mouth. "Be safe. Have fun."

Upstairs in the dark, I break.

I started this story in EPOV—I even have chapter 1 written in his POV. But the fact is, I don't "know" him. His words feel different than hers—explanation instead of emotion.

I do, however, know this Bella. I knew during ESN that (if there was a future them ever written) she would break up with him when he went off to college. Long-distance is hard now. Imagine it in 1991, paying for every minute you speak and the only other option being snail mail. But that isn't her why, it's just extenuating circumstances.

She simply wants him to be. To work hard. To have fun. To discover who Edward Cullen really is.

Wonder how that's gonna work out for them?

If I kill it again today/tmr w/chapters, I may do another this week. We shall see. Either way, we'll post Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs next week.

See you soon :)