2brown-eyes reads all the words!

NOW
JUNE 1993

I Would Do Anything for Love—Meatloaf

More than Words—Extreme

"This summer is gonna suck without you." I hug Alice close, swaying from side to side.

Jasper's Pinto is idling at the curb, and their flight leaves soon, but it's so hard to let go. I haven't gone a summer without her for … never.

Stoner boy ended up getting a job at the local Jiffy Lube in the evenings and on weekends. All these years, he's scrimped and saved so he and Alice could backpack across Europe the summer after graduation. He's going to PA Community College, and Alice will be at U-Dub, so they've figured out a path that works for them.

I'm just going to miss her for the next seven weeks.

"I promise to call you at least once."

"Be safe," I whisper, getting choked up. "And take care of that guy of yours."

She pulls back, waggling her brows. "You know I will."

I roll my eyes, chuckling. "Whatever."

"Love ya," she calls as she takes off, tossing me a wave.

I watch until they're out of sight before sighing and heading to my truck. I've never faced Forks without Alice by my side, so this summer is going to be an adventure, and it starts with a graduation bonfire at La Push.

I can already hear the music blasting when I park. Meatloaf is singing about what he will and won't do for love, and a group of drunken boys are crashing beer cans against their foreheads. I snort as I weave my way through the crowd, finding a spot on an oversized log near the fire.

"Bella!" Jake's tipsy already, all smiley-happy, stumbly drunk, and Leah, his girlfriend of two years, rolls her eyes as she follows behind him. "Congrats on making it out of high school hell."

"Can I get a drink?" He shoves a lukewarm unopened beer my way, and I take it. "Thanks, dude. You turned out all right."

"I'm da bomb!" He's yelling at me from a foot away, but I hold back my cringe and pop the top on my can. "Chug! Chug! Chug!" he chants, drawing nearby people into his crazy.

To the chorus of about ten voices, I down my first beer of the night. My head swims from holding my breath as I guzzle the piss-tasting drink.

"Duuuude," Jake drawls in his drunken boisterous way. "I heard you were gonna be back this summer."

A shot of pure panic moves over me, and I hesitantly lift my eyes, instinctively knowing what I'm about to see. Edward Cullen, the boy I let go, stands about eight feet away. He's focused on Jake, so I take a few seconds to study him. He looks so fucking good—happy, healthy, sexy as hell. His skin is tanned, his hair is swooped up on top, and it doesn't look like he's missed any workouts in that tank.

But as I continue my perusal, I realize the hand at the end of that arm is linked to another. My eyes jump to hers, and she's not interested in Jake. She's looking at me curiously, and I close my eyes, ashamed.

She's exactly what I wanted for him.

So why does it hurt so bad?

I give her a quick smile as I get up from the log to seek out another drink. My heart thuds heavily in my chest as my mind works to accept a reality I wasn't prepared to witness. I drown my feelings in beer and tire my mind with dance.

With sand between my toes and alcohol flowing through my blood, I spend the night twirling and swaying and ignoring the beautiful boy who makes my heart race. Riley, a new guy who joined my class for junior year, eventually eases up beside me, and I let him. He knows the deal and is always happy to pretend.

Dancing together is nothing new, but the way we dance this time is. I grip his hip with one hand while holding the other up, our bodies rocking in tune to the slow, easy beat of More Than Words.

At some point, we start belting out the lyrics, and even though we're in this bubble, I'm acutely aware of the eyes on us. His stare sears my skin and settles in my sappy heart.

I don't mean for it to happen, but when I turn to grab another beer, our eyes meet. Flames bathe his face in light, and the past shimmers in his gaze. A sliver of regret stirs inside me, but then the girl—the brown-haired, brown-eyed girlfriend—whispers something to him, and he smiles at whatever she said.

It's real.

Happy.

Adoring even.

And I remind myself that this is why.

He's moved on.

And so have I.

I was married by this time, so the stories won't be as fun, but I'll try to add little anecdotes here and there.

No sappy encounters with lost loves for me. In '89, I shifted my focus to a smaller town about 30 mins away. I spent time in the summer with my aunt and uncle—I was 15—and they'd let me drive her baby blue Malibu (some 80s model) to my stomping grounds and cruise. I had a girl in the town between our 2 who I'd pick up, so I had a licensed driver in the car. Lawd, idk how I managed not to get caught on one of those many, many trips driving home in the early morning hours.

See ya Monday