I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas/Happy Holiday and a wonderful New Year! Happy reading!
P.S. I had to make a minor tweak to ch. 19 in Part I in the Bridget and Rita scene.
P.S.S. If you're interested, chapters 17, 25, and 27 in Part I reference the almost assault Rita experienced in her late teens. I will be going more into it in this story. Stay tuned :)
A Scar is Born by Three Days Grace
True Romance by Tove Lo
Rake & Nik by Henry Jackman & Alex Belcher
Cry for Help by Daughtry
Let the Pain Go by Siddhartha Khosla
All is Forgiven by Default
1993
Montana U.S.
Luke hated school. The first few weeks were okay, and then Mike and Vince found him. They were best friends who enjoyed bullying others, and Luke just happened to become their target. He didn't think he'd ever fully understand why.
"Loser alert," Vince said, shoving Luke into the lockers as he passed. Luke caught himself before taking a few breaths. He really wanted to put Vince into the ground, but he knew he had to keep his head down around here if he wanted to stay unnoticed.
"He's the real loser," Melissa said, giving him an apologetic look as she opened her locker door. Luke had straightened by this point and was unlocking his two down from hers. He could hear Vince and Mike chortling amongst themselves as they kept walking and knocking into other students.
"Football jerks," she added, switching out her books.
"They're kings of this castle, but it will change one day," Luke reasoned. He'd noticed that Melissa was taking a bit of a shine to him, and he wasn't sure how to take it. Blonde haired and blue eyed, she was every guy's dream girl. She just preferred to be single and wasn't afraid to tell everyone. She drove all the boys crazy whenever she wore a skirt, which showed off her lean legs. Luke wouldn't lie and say he didn't find her attractive; he just didn't want to start something with anyone right now.
And he knew someone else wanted to be with her very badly.
"I like it when you say things like that," she said, smiling. She shut her locker door and slid her books into the crook of her arm. "You joining us for lunch today?"
"I'm good," Luke replied. It was the same answer he gave every time she asked. He figured she thought if she was relentless about it, he'd eventually give in. Obviously, she did not know him well enough.
"Alrighty then," she said in almost a singsong voice. "See you later."
"Bye."
A loud sigh to his left made him turn to see Sam staring wistfully after Melissa. Now there was a guy who had a huge crush on a girl, who was oblivious about it.
"Next time, Sam," Luke said, shutting his locker door now and pulling his backpack over his shoulder.
"I just want her to see me, you know? Is that too hard to ask?" Sam inquired. He pushed his black rimmed glasses up higher on his nose. His brown hair slipped down over his green eyes periodically. Acne peppered his forehead, which was why he kept his hair covering it. He was lanky and knobby kneed, like he'd had a growth spurt overnight and the rest of him needed to catch up. Luke knew he got bullied worse.
"I think she sees you. Perhaps you need to actually talk to her," Luke advised. They walked to math class together, collecting the third member of their misfit group along the way: Jordan.
"Ah damn it," Jordan said, dropping his book and narrowly missing his foot. He bent to retrieve it. He was a bit overweight but tall. He was the goalie on the soccer team. His black hair was buzzed short, and his grey eyes were guarded most of the time.
"Any weekend plans?" Sam asked as they found their seats. They claimed the row to the far left with Luke sitting at the very back with Sam in front of him and Jordan beside him.
"No," Jordan sighed. "I have to babysit my little sister and her friend. It's gonna suck."
"Farm chores," Luke replied, like he did every time.
"I am going to be spending it with my dad," Sam said proudly. Something about this statement made Luke feel a jolt inside. He suddenly missed his father so much it hurt.
"Cool," Jordan said. "He gonna take you bowling?"
"Yea," Sam answered. "We always tie."
Luke tuned them out, pulling out his paper and pencil. Their teacher was getting started, and Luke could tell he was not having a good day. Luke paid attention to things like this. It was better to always know your surroundings than get caught sleeping. He always knew where every exit was and how to escape if that exit was blocked. He sometimes wondered what it would be like to not do this. He regarded Jordan and Sam as acquaintances, not friends. He knew better than to have many friends. Rita was his only best friend, and he was fine with that.
He doodled a little on the edge of his notebook as he listened to the math lesson. His eyes moved to the back right of the room where Vince and Mike were sniggering. He did not envy the teacher trying to keep order in the classroom. He knew the two goons were taking the class again because they'd failed it before, which made them even more ignorant.
He put his focus on the words being spoken and how his pencil moved across the paper. Soon, the day would be over, and he'd get to leave.
It was a heavenly thought.
...
Rita was half listening as Bridget talked about her latest crush, Jeremy. She didn't much care to hear about it, but she didn't want to be rude. She was sitting at her desk trying to work on her assignment while Bridget sprawled on her bed and crossed a leg over her bent knee. Lance was making dinner, which he'd invited Bridget to stay for. Rita knew how happy her father was seeing her have a friend (outside of Luke). She hadn't realized how important it was for him.
"Ohmygosh," Bridget said all at once now. "Jeremy has the most gorgeous eyes. I am in love, Rita. Seriously. Jeremy is the guy I'm gonna marry."
Marry? Rita frowned, her back still to Bridget. That was thinking far ahead, but then again, Rita was guilty of her own daydreams of marrying someone herself.
As if summoned, Luke appeared in the doorway, making her jump from being startled.
"Supper's ready," he advised. Rita just nodded, afraid her voice would be squeaky if she tried to talk. Bridget was sitting up slowly and giving Luke an almost sultry look, which Rita found a bit sickening.
"Thanks, cutie," she said boldly.
"Uh huh," Luke responded dryly, not even addressing the pet name. He patted the door frame and left. Rita felt annoyed as she stood up.
"Don't do that," she told Bridget.
"Do what?"
"Flirt with Luke. It's gross."
"You can't tell me you haven't noticed how hot he is," Bridget said, standing up now as well.
"Just don't," Rita ordered, turning away to hide the flush in her neck. Bridget peered at her closer.
"Wait a second, you like him!" she gushed.
"No!"
"Yes, you do!"
"Bridget, shhhhhh!" Rita ordered, closing her door so no one would overhear.
"Why is it a secret?"
"My dad doesn't want me to like him," Rita explained.
"Ohhhh. That's so much hotter," Bridget said. "A secret crush!"
"Bridge, please," Rita begged, regretting confessing this to her now. Bridget made a sign of zipping her lips shut and throwing away the key.
"Your secret is safe with me, and I totally won't pursue him. Girl code, you know? Girls don't go after the guys their friends like."
"Okay..."
"If you ever stop liking a guy, though, it's fair game," Bridget added.
"Erm, okay?" Rita felt unsure now. "Thank you."
"Rita!" Lance called, sounding impatient now.
"Coming!" she hollered back after opening the door again. She went downstairs, clomping all the way. When she reached the table with Bridget on her heels, she made sure she sat next to Luke. Just in case.
"How was the day, girls?" Lance asked once they were eating. Rita let Bridget talk about it. She didn't have much to offer anyway. She picked at her food and kept her head down.
"Rita?" her father asked, making her look up. "You okay?"
"Just tired," she replied. It was a half truth. She saw Bridget keep looking at Luke and then at her as if to say she should make a move. Rita shot her a glare to make her stop. She didn't need her father seeing it.
"I'll be mucking out the stalls," Luke said once he finished eating.
"You make such a dirty job sound so fun," Bridget commented, her tone flirty again. He gave her a look, and even Lance looked at her now. She blushed and cleared her throat. Rita wanted to die from embarrassment on behalf of her friend. She might as well have been the one to say it. Luke got up without another word and took his plate to the sink. Rita refrained from watching him leave. She helped her father clean up while Bridget chattered on about nothing, fully recovered from her embarrassing moment. Rita envied that about her sometimes, that she could just get over something so quickly.
When they were waiting on the front porch for her mother to pick her up, Rita turned to look at her.
"Why are you still flirting with him?" she asked, her voice low.
"I can't help it," Bridget answered. "I can't just shut it off around hot guys."
"Yes, you can."
"I will work so hard," she promised. "I know he's off limits. I promise." She gave Rita a hopeful look that said she wanted to be forgiven and given another chance. Rita let out a sigh.
"Okay. As long as you know."
"I do!" Bridget hugged her tightly, and then her mother drove up. Rita felt relieved when she was gone. That girl gave her a headache sometimes.
After finishing with the dishes, she went to find Luke in the barn.
"What's up?" he asked, hoisting a hay bale up and tossing it into Hank's pen before doing the same for Willow.
"Nothing."
"You were quiet tonight."
"Just thinking."
"About?" he asked, not giving up. Rita perched on a hay bale as he went to usher the horse and donkey inside. She went to stand at the stall door to give Willow some pats before the horse went to eat. She appreciated that Luke was giving her time to respond.
"I'm sorry about Bridget," she offered. "I don't know why she has to be so annoying."
"That's just who she is," he answered with a shrug. "I can keep my distance."
"Okay."
"You gonna tell me how your day went? Or do I have to go with her version?"
"It was fine," she said dismissively. He gave her a look that indicated he did not believe her, and she heaved out a sigh. "Alright, it sucked, but it's over now. I've moved on."
"What happened?"
Rita didn't really want to say because she knew it was silly. She avoided the question until she felt him nudge her boot with his.
"I got a B," she said. "Okay? It's depressing." She crossed her arms on the door and rested her chin on them.
"You know you don't have to always get A's, right?" Luke asked.
"No, but it makes me feel better if I do."
"So how can I help you feel better?"
Rita appreciated him so much. She contemplated her answer, wanting to make sure she picked something meaningful.
"A walk is fine," she said finally, and he nodded. They left together, and she fell into step beside him as they walked around the property. It was definitely getting colder; she stuffed her hands into her coat pockets deeper.
"What are winters like here?" Luke asked suddenly after a while.
"Cold," she answered. "Lots of snow."
"Hence all the wood," he reasoned, and she nodded. Their house was mainly heated with wood in the winter. There were baseboard heaters, but Lance only liked to use them if really needed.
"You probably haven't experienced a winter like we do," she said, understanding.
"Probably not."
"Well, we'll get you through it," she stated, and he smiled.
"I have no doubt."
They kept walking, and Rita's mind began to drift from her B grade to thinking about what to get Luke for Christmas. It was weeks away, but she wanted to get him something meaningful. She had this strange feeling he didn't experience anything nice for the holidays.
"Rita!" Lance called now, and she groaned internally. She wanted more time with Luke.
"Better go," Luke said to her. "I'll be in after a moment."
"Okay."
She jogged to the house where her father was standing on the porch, waiting.
"What were you doing?" he asked.
"Walking," she answered. "I didn't think that was a crime."
"It's not."
She walked past him and into the house. She heard him sigh after the screen door clicked shut behind her. She didn't care. She wasn't going to ruin her friendship with Luke just because her father was afraid of them getting together.
Life without Luke would just be too painful.
Vietnam
Rosie's clothes stuck to her as she stepped carefully through the brush. She felt a bit irked that this rich ass American was hiding out here. She didn't like the heat. As she walked quietly, she couldn't help but think about Rita. Her last check-in showed that Luke was settled in there nicely and that Rita had bonded with him very quickly. Rosie had a feeling that her daughter was harboring a crush for him, which made her smile. She knew Lance would probably freak about that and try to stamp it out. Rosie understood. She didn't really want Rita with an assassin either, but the whole point of putting Luke there was show him there was more to life than that, and she had faith he would see it and walk away from his past and do something else with his life.
She just had to make sure her father didn't go collect.
A twig snapped, and she whirled, fists up, to face her attacker. She felt her fight or flight response start to calm once she saw who it was.
"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" she asked.
"I could ask you the same thing," Colter replied.
"This is my target," she said aggressively.
"If I'm here, then he's mine," Colter argued. Rosie lowered her fists and growled. She recognized what was going on here. It appeared he did too.
"Unbelievable," she said.
"I wonder what we win this time," Colter sighed. Rosie rubbed her fingers against the back of her neck to help with the stiffness. She hated when her father pitted the two of them against each other. He liked to give them the same target to see who could get the job done first. Usually, he gave more money to the person who won.
"You can have him," Rosie stated. "I'm hot and miserable anyway." She went to go back from where she came, but Colter stopped her.
"Let's do it together," he suggested. Rosie surveyed him for a moment. She felt like there was a catch, but he wasn't displaying it.
"Why?" she challenged.
"Never mind," he huffed, turning abrupt as usual. She was about to comment when chaos exploded around them. It turned out the American had better security than she thought. Both she and Colter ducked for cover in the same place, popping up to take out assailants frequently.
"Now what?" she asked him. She saw him thinking. Regardless of how rocky their relationship could be, she knew he wasn't stupid and wouldn't leave her there to die.
Unfortunately, a man attacked before he could answer, and Rosie engaged in hand-to-hand combat to save her life. Colter shot at the others in the meantime. He was looking a bit cocky when someone slashed a knife across his left cheek. Colter let out an aggravated roar and easily snapped the man's neck. Rosie finally managed to take out her attacker, and they both stood there panting and bleeding while looking at the mess around them.
"Colter," she said, going over to him and pulling out her med kit from her backpack, "that's deep."
"It's a scratch," he dismissed.
"Stand still," she ordered. He obeyed reluctantly, and she peered at it. "It needs stitches."
"You want to be a sitting duck again?" he countered.
"Come on," she bossed, leading him away from the scene. They stopped at an abandoned shack and went inside. Rosie then sterilized the wound and began sewing it shut. Colter didn't make a sound the entire time. Sometimes, she admired how tough he was.
"That's gonna leave a scar," she commented after finishing. He shrugged.
"Comes with the job," he advised.
"Come on," she said, shouldering her bag again. "Let's go kill this bastard." He finally gave a small grin before following her out and into the brush again.
1993—December
Montana, U.S.
Lance couldn't stop chuckling to himself as he watched Luke adjust to winter. He knew England could get cold, but Montana could get colder. He found it amusing that Rita picked on Luke for layering up and then ambushing him with snowballs every chance she got. He wasn't sure how to feel about this friendship of theirs that appeared to be growing slowly. Lance still felt confident his daughter had a crush on Luke, but she was doing a better job at trying to hide it from him ever since he'd asked her not to fall for him. He really hoped it was just a phase. Lucy told him it was. She reminded him that he wasn't married to the girl he'd crushed on at 13, and he'd had to agree with her.
He was dreading Christmas if he was honest. Rosie had always gotten so invested in it. Their house had looked like a decoration bomb had gone off, and she would hum or sing carols for weeks leading up to it. His stomach and teeth would ache from all the baking she did, but he could never help himself from indulging. He recalled she explained her love of Christmas came from her mother, and it was her way of keeping her mother alive. Carol had preferred New Year's Eve, stating it was the one time her father would actually spend with all of them and play games. Lance didn't really have many memories of his family, and any ones he did have, he spent a lot of time pushing away.
"Dad, what are we gonna get Luke for Christmas?" Rita asked him now, smashing into his thoughts like a wrecking ball. He blinked, trying to come back to the present. He realized he was standing in the barn holding a shovel. Hank was looking at him expectantly, and Lance figured out that he had been about to shovel out his stall.
"Um, socks?"
"Dad!"
"What? I don't know," he said a bit defensively.
"It has to be something good," Rita insisted. "He hasn't really had a good Christmas experience before."
"And you know this how?"
"He told me," she replied logically.
"Rita, you know how I feel about it," he started, but she held up her hand to stop him.
"I do know, but I think for once you can get on board with me on this. Remember how you used to make Christmas special for me when I was younger?"
"Yes..."
"Do that now," she finished. "Luke's a part of our family now, and I want this Christmas to be special for him."
"You really care about him, don't you?" Lance asked.
"As a friend," she said steadily. "You know that."
"I do," he said softly, not buying it a hundred percent but not wanting to get into it either. Rita had empathy; she always cared about the little things. She'd go out of her way to move a frog off the road so it wouldn't get killed or sit with the chickens and talk to them because she felt like they didn't get as much attention as the other animals.
"So brainstorm," she ordered, pointing a finger at him. "Let me know if you think of anything."
"I will." He watched her leave after giving Willow a few strokes on her muzzle. He looked back at Hank, who gave him his toothy smile. Lance preferred to do this job when the donkey was out of the pen because Hank liked to lean on him while he worked, but it hadn't worked out that way today.
"Stay in your corner," Lance warned, stepping into the stall.
Of course, he was promptly ignored.
A Few Days Later
Rita had it all figured out. Luke was always cold, so she was going to knit him a vest to go under his coat for extra warmth. She had no idea how to knit, though, which was why she was sitting in Lucy's living room and fighting with knitting needles.
"Oh, dear," Lucy said, noticing and stopping her project to help. "Here."
"Is this a dumb idea?" Rita asked, suddenly doubting herself.
"Not at all," Lucy replied, fixing Rita's mistake and getting her going again. "Stuff like this shows you care and pay attention."
"You make it look so easy," Rita commented, watching as Lucy's fingers flew while she worked.
"Years of practice, love."
"Nana, I'm hungry," Keira said, appearing from the stairwell.
"There's an apple on the counter," Lucy replied, and Keira went to get it. Rita heard her crunching into it a moment later.
"What are you guys doing?" Keira asked, coming back.
"Knitting," Lucy answered. Keira moved closer to see.
"Can I try?"
"Once you've finished and washed your hands."
"Okay."
Rita growled as she got her needles tight again and tilted her head back in frustration. Lucy fixed it again without any judgment. When Keira was ready, Lucy got her set up with something small and easy like a dish cloth. Rita wondered if she should have done that instead and then stapled them all together into something that resembled a vest.
"Rita?" Luke's voice called from the step outside. She involuntarily chucked her mess over her shoulder behind the couch, making Lucy almost burst out laughing and Keira have a fit of giggles.
"Yea?" she called back. He appeared a moment later, taking in the expressions of all three of them.
"I feel like I walked in on something," he said.
"Inside joke," Lucy replied. "What is it, hon?"
"Lance and Kenny got the sleds ready if you wanna go," Luke said. "Keira's welcome too."
"Yes!" Keira exclaimed, leaping to her feet. Rita also felt a little bit excited. She loved snowmobiling. Her father had promised she could drive it this year.
"Go bundle up," Lucy instructed, and Keira bolted towards the mud room. Rita stood and moved towards the door.
"Were you knitting?" Luke asked her.
"No," Rita answered quickly. He lifted a brow but said nothing else.
"Rita was keeping my company while I did up some socks," Lucy offered. "Knitting is not her thing."
"I see."
Keira came back almost tripping over her feet in excitement. Lucy helped get her into her snowsuit and ready to go.
"Be safe and have fun," Lucy said as they filed out the door. Keira yelled goodbye and raced ahead. Luke and Rita fell into step side by side behind her.
"You're cold," Rita noted, looking at him.
"I don't think I'm ever going to get used to this," he admitted.
"You will," she promised. He just smiled back, tucking his hands farther into his coat pockets. His black toque was pulled down over his ears and almost over his eyes, which made Rita want to laugh a little. They approached Kenny and Lance, and Rita left them to get her snow pants and helmet. When she came back, it was just Luke waiting for her. Kenny had gone inside.
"Where'd Dad go?" she asked.
"He went ahead," Luke answered.
"Aw, crap," Rita said. "I wanted to drive."
"I know. I'm teaching you," Luke replied, gesturing. "Hop on."
Rita felt her heart start to leap and pound a bit faster. Then she realized he was probably going to let her drive alone, that he was just showing her. She got on, and he showed her how to start it and made her do it. He showed her the brake and the throttle. He advised to lean into corners if she could and to not go fast on bare ice. It really wasn't that much to learn, which made Rita wonder why her dad didn't teach her before now. She guessed maybe he didn't want her taking off alone when she was younger. She felt a bit proud that he trusted her now to do things by herself.
"Okay," she said. "Thank you for showing me. I guess I'll catch up to them."
"Just a sec," Luke told her, going to grab the helmet on the bench. She felt surprised. Was he coming too?! Her heart jumped even more.
"I thought you were working," she said. He stopped.
"Do you want to go alone?"
"No!" she yelped. Then she cleared her throat and said it again a bit softer: "No."
"That's what I thought," he said with a laugh, pulling the helmet down and getting on the back. She was glad he couldn't see her blush. She pulled her helmet visor down and squeezed the throttle. She accidentally squeezed too hard, making them jerk forward, and then overreacted with pulling the brake. She almost died with the heat from Luke crashing into her back and grabbing her around the waist to stop from falling off.
"What're you doing?!" he asked over the engine.
"Sorry!" she yelled. He let her go and held onto the back handles again, which she was disappointed with but what could she do? She started going once more, and then she was flying.
...
Luke was reading his book for the third time; it never lost its appeal. It also made him feel close to Brendan. He was as close to the fire as he could get for warmth with the lamp on next to him. Rita padded out after a while. Lance had turned in early.
"You read?" she asked, astounded. He scoffed.
"Yea," he replied.
"Watership Down?" Rita asked, sitting beside him. He turned his head to look at her. "What's it about?"
"Rabbits," he answered.
"Rabbits?" she repeated. She reached to pat his face, making him jerk back out of surprise. "Hello? Is Luke in there somewhere?"
"Very funny," he said, swatting her hand away.
"I had no idea you liked reading about rabbits," she said with a laugh. "Is there a hidden meaning in it?"
"I don't think so," Luke answered. "I really think it's just a book about rabbits." He could tell it didn't sit quite right with her, that to her, a book had to have some sort of meaning to it. He figured there could be some interpretations made, but he felt like the author just wanted people to read it for the sake of it being a story. He couldn't explain it.
"Could I read it one day?" she asked. He looked at her then, seeing that she looked a bit hesitant as though she was asking to do something forbidden.
"Yea," he answered. "Of course."
"Awesome." She brightened instantly, and he resisted laughing at her eagerness; it was just too cute. He'd never met anyone so excited about reading a book before.
She left and returned with her own book, and they sat there quietly together until Luke could barely keep his eyes open.
"Alright, Bookworm," he said, getting to his feet. "Don't stay up too late. I know it's holidays and all."
"Ten more minutes," she said without looking at him. He smiled and shook his head slowly before saying goodnight and going to his room. It marveled him at times how well he was adjusting here. He still thought about his mother and Brendan, but he knew he always would. He curled onto his right side, sticking his arm under his pillow and trying to get comfortable. His eyes were heavy, so he started to fall asleep soon after.
The last thing he thought about was Rita's smile.
Christmas Day
Simon watched from his parked car as Colter paced back and forth outside the house. He had waited for this to happen again, and it had taken a while. Colter had no idea he was being watched, which, for an assassin, was pretty stupid.
Simon had narrowed it down that this house was where Colter's family was. It thrilled him to have leverage against Colter. He knew Zeke had no idea, but that wasn't going to last long. Simon fully intended on ratting him out when he got back.
He watched as Colter finally walked to the door. A teenage boy opened it, and Simon watched Colter stand there looking shocked and nostalgic. They exchanged a couple of words, and then Colter turned to walk away. Simon watched him walk towards a car down the street, but he didn't follow him. He didn't need to. He sat there and looked at the house across from him, wondering how he should bring this up to Zeke.
The pull to go to the farm was strong, but he resisted. He knew he'd catch hell for doing anything to Rita. He figured he'd get his chance one day.
And it would all be worth it.
...
Rosie looked up when Colter came into the motel room. Wes was cleaning his handgun in the corner. Why, Rosie had no idea. She noticed he did it when he was feeling bored or anxious.
"Well?" she prompted.
"I couldn't do it," Colter answered. He stomped snow off his boots before removing them and going to sit on the office chair with a heavy sigh. It was a rare occasion, the three of them together like this. Rosie wasn't even sure why Colter was here with them. It was very out of character for him. When he'd caught her here, she'd expected him to lose his shit that she was sneaking to see Lance and Rita, but instead, he'd surprised her by asking to come be with them. Wes was here because he had nothing else to do and wanted to be with Rosie on Christmas.
"Why not?" Wes inquired, glancing up at him while his fingers kept working.
"I just couldn't make it make sense in my head," Colter answered, pushing his fingers through his hair. "How do I tell him that I'm his father? How do I explain where I've been? How do I tell him that I can't be in his life? There was no point."
"How did he look?" Wes asked next, and Colter's face almost softened in a way that Rosie hadn't seen in a very long time.
"He's a young man," Colter said after a moment. "He looks haunted. He looks angry. He looks nothing like Zeke."
"Well, that's a relief," Rosie commented. Neither she nor Wes said anything else as Colter looked out the window.
"I miss Mum," he said after a moment, making her look at Wes in surprise. They were definitely seeing a different side to Colter today.
And it made her think that maybe, just maybe, her brother she'd lost all those years ago could come back after all.
...
Luke was in the barn when he felt a presence behind him. He turned to see Amelia, and he felt shock and then anxiety. Was she here to take him away?
"Relax," she said, lifting up a hand. "I'm just here to check in."
Luke felt his heart rate begin to slow down once he knew he was safe. He noticed that Willow was acting antsy all of a sudden, and he frowned.
"I'm fine," he told her. Amelia walked slowly towards the horse, smiling and holding her hand out to rub Willow's muzzle. The horse was immediately soothed. Luke felt very surprised that she was able to do that. Willow didn't normally take so well to strangers.
"I hope you take some time to really figure out what you want," Amelia said after a moment. She turned to face him again, and Willow rested her snout over Amelia's shoulder fondly, nibbling at her hair. If Luke didn't know any better, it was like this horse knew Amelia, but he knew that was impossible. She'd never been here before.
It puzzled him how she knew he was wavering on being an assassin. He held her gaze, but she didn't offer anything else. The more he looked at her, the more she reminded him of someone, but he couldn't pinpoint who.
"My mother?" he asked finally. He needed to know. Amelia cleared her throat.
"She's fine. She's working again."
"I'm never gonna see her again, am I?"
"Never say never," Amelia quoted. Luke felt a bit frustrated. He was going to push for more information when he heard Rita calling his name. Amelia tensed up immediately.
"Good luck, Luke," she said, moving past him now. She paused, looking over her shoulder at him. "Keep her safe."
"I will..." He was frowning, trying to understand why Amelia would even care about Rita, but she was gone before he could ask, and Luke turned to see Rita coming in with red cheeks from the cold.
"There you are," she said. "I've been shouting for you for ten minutes."
"What's up?"
"It's almost time to head to Lucy's."
"Okay. I'll be done in ten minutes."
He watched her rush off, and he wondered what she had up her sleeve. He'd be the first to admit that he had enjoyed the rituals Lance and Rita shared with him today. He hadn't felt this happy on Christmas in a long time, and that was despite missing his mother. Usually the two of them would do something together, and since this was his first Christmas without her, it was a bit hard...even if he was still feeling some anger towards her about the whole Brendan situation.
At Lucy's, Keira was a bomb of excitement, rushing around and showing everyone her new toys while wanting to get piggy back rides and steal stuffing from the bowl on the counter. Lucy was at her wit's end, so Luke had offered to entertain Keira for a bit. It didn't take long for her to leave him and try to wrestle with Kenny. Luke gathered she'd eaten a bit too much sugar today.
"Hey," Rita said, finding him. He was in Lucy's library now, looking out the window.
"Hey," he said back.
"I, uh, got you something," she said, making him look to see her holding out a parcel.
"You didn't have to do that," he started.
"But I did, so deal with it," she interrupted, and he laughed. He never tired of her bluntness or wit. He took it and opened it slowly, teasing her. Just before she reached to open it for him, he'd finished.
"You made this?" he asked, feeling a bit moved as he looked at the vest in his hands.
"Yea," she answered. "It's not the best and won't win any beauty contests, but it'll keep you warm, and that's the whole point."
"I've never had anyone make me anything before," he told her, and her face went a fresh shade of red. She blinked and cleared her throat.
"Well...then I'm glad I'm the first," she said, hugging herself. He smiled and pulled it on over his head. He instantly felt warmer, which he was grateful for.
"So you were knitting that day," he said, remembering.
"Yea." She laughed. "I threw it behind me...spent forever untangling the mess that action made."
"Thank you," he said sincerely. She nodded and kept hugging herself. He reached into his pocket next, pulling out what he was looking for. "I got you something too."
"Oh, you didn't..."
"I did, so deal with it," he retorted, mimicking her. She laughed and did her best to not act embarrassed. "I didn't wrap it, but I mean...who wants to waste paper on something that small?" He held out the macramé bracelet he'd made under Keira's supervision and approval (he'd hated to admit that a six year old was able to beat him at something). It was a blend of red, blue, and yellow colors. Keira had given him the small horse charm to put in the middle, and he knew it was the right choice when he saw Rita's eyes light up at seeing it.
"It's beautiful," she breathed.
"Here," he said, taking it from her again. She held out her arm at his gesture, and he wrapped it around her wrist with a twist (also Keira's instructions...she'd made him practice over and over until he'd gotten it right).
"I love it. Thank you," she said to him. He gave his lopsided grin, and she boldly stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. Then she ran away, and he couldn't help but chuckle.
It definitely was a good Christmas, and he was happy that he was here.
1994—April
Luke was minding his own business when it happened. He heard a yelp and a cry for help, and he went to find Mike harassing Melissa...and not in a good way.
"Oye!" he called, making Mike turn to see him. Melissa shoved Mike off and pulled her shirt down, tears on her face. "Leave her alone!"
"You don't tell me what to do," Mike retorted. Luke saw red at this point. He'd had enough of these assholes. He couldn't keep his head down any longer. He charged right up to Mike and grabbed his head, smashing it into the locker hard and fast. Mike went down, stunned. Melissa was shouting at Luke, but he ignored her. He went down to pick up Mike by the scruff of his shirt and punch him in the face. It felt so good if he was honest. Mike had it coming to him.
Hands on the back of his shirt yanked him back, and he was thrown into the lockers next. Luke stumbled but caught himself, seeing Vince standing there now ready to defend his friend. A small crowd was gathering to watch. Melissa was wringing her hands and trying to make them stop with her verbal pleas.
Luke went at Vince next, getting some good blows in and making Vince's face bleed. Mike joined in, and it was two against one. Luke held his own fairly well, and he didn't care what anyone else was thinking. To Luke, it was time to show these idiots that he was not someone to be underestimated. It was easy to dodge and block most of their blows, and he could tell they were shocked at how badly they were failing.
"Luke!" Jordan shouted, joining the crowd now. "Luke, man, you gotta stop!"
"Luke!" Melissa cried. Sam was holding her now, keeping her from jumping in to break it up physically.
Vince somehow got Luke by the throat and rammed him against the wall tightly. Mike punched his stomach a few times, making Luke grunt in pain.
"Hey, hey, hey!" a teacher shouted, appearing suddenly. "What's going on here?!"
"Mike and Vince are attacking Luke," Jordan said. Luke knew it wasn't the entire truth. He'd gone at Mike first, but no one else had seen that except for Melissa.
"Break it up. Break it up!" the teacher yelled, grabbing Mike by the collar of his shirt and pulling him back. "Vincent, enough!" Luke gasped in air when Vince reluctantly let him go.
"We were just messing around, Mr. B," Mike insisted.
"That didn't look like messing around to me," Mr. B said back strongly. "You two, office. Now."
"He started it," Mike said, a slight whine to his voice now. "He came at me! I was just defending myself!"
"Is that true?" Mr. B asked, looking around at all the students. Luke stood there, debating on coming clean when Melissa piped up.
"Luke asked Mike to stop harassing me," she said. "Mike got quite agitated and went at him when he was walking away. He jumped Luke."
"Bitch!" Mike hollered. "You're lying!"
"That's enough!" Mr. B commanded, glaring at Mike. "We will sort this out in the office. I will be calling your parents. Let's go." He corralled Mike and Vince along with him, and Luke rested his head against the wall, his throat hurting.
"You okay, man?" Jordan asked, going over to him once the crowd cleared out.
"I'm fine," Luke replied.
"Damn, you know how to fight," Sam said in awe, looking at him. Melissa hugged her books tight to her chest, giving Luke a grateful look but also one that was a bit wary. Luke knew he shouldn't have revealed this side of himself, but he couldn't let Mike do that to her and get away with it.
"Let this be a lesson to y'all!" Jordan called out, making some students look at him. "Don't mess with Luke Wright!"
"Jordan, shhh!" Melissa ordered, smacking his arm.
"What? They might as well know..."
"Mr. Wright!" Mr. B called from down the hall. "You too! Let's go!"
Luke pushed off the wall and followed, wondering what Lance was going to say about all of this. He sat off to the side while the principal dealt with Mike and Vince first. By the time Luke got in there, he was looking weary. He gave Luke a small smile and pushed his glasses up his nose.
"Well," he said. "You've caused a bit of a stir today."
"I'm sorry, sir," Luke replied.
"You wanna tell me what happened?"
"Mike was sexually harassing a girl, and I intervened," Luke answered honestly, leaving out that he'd head smashed Mike first. "He got violent, and I held my own."
"You certainly did," the principal said with a slight chuckle. Then he cleared his throat. "That being said, fighting is not tolerated here, so you're going to be suspended for the rest of the week."
"Okay."
"I couldn't get a hold of your guardian, but I trust you'll explain it to him?"
"I will."
"Good lad. Go on and catch your bus."
Luke stood up with a nod and walked out to the bus, knowing that he'd blown his whole staying under the radar plan. At the same time, though, it had felt so good to kick the shit out of those two hooligans. He just hoped that from now on, they'd leave him alone.
...
Rita saw Luke sitting at the back of the bus and immediately knew something had happened. He had a bruise on his face that gave it away. She resisted going to sit with him, knowing that the unspoken rule of older kids sitting in the back was one she had to respect (she'd seen what happened to younger kids who tried...it wasn't pretty). She vibrated all the way home, wondering what had happened. As soon as they reached their driveway and they'd gotten off, she pounced.
"What happened?" she asked. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Luke answered, shouldering his bag tighter and keeping his head straight.
"You obviously got into a fight," she pointed out. "I'm not stupid."
"It was nothing," he insisted. "Okay? Please don't make a big deal out of it."
Rita looked at his hand holding the strap of his bag and saw his knuckles were chafed and cracked a bit. She swallowed.
"Was it Mike and Vince?" she asked. He'd told her about those two goons before, but he'd always said he just let their crap go and didn't engage.
"Yea," he said.
"Why?"
"Rita," he groaned, stopping and finally looking at her. "I don't want to talk about it." There was something dark about his expression, and she wondered what he was thinking about. She didn't really know much about his life prior to living with them after all.
"Did you at least win?" she asked.
"Teacher broke it up," he muttered. "But now the entire school thinks I'm this badass who shouldn't be messed with."
"That's good, though, right? People will leave you alone," she reasoned.
"I didn't want to have attention drawn to me."
"Oh...why not?"
"Rita..."
"I'm sorry!" she said defensively. "I like to know things."
"There are some things about me that you're just not going to know," he insisted. "Okay?" She felt a shiver go through her at this.
"Like what?" She couldn't help herself. He gave her a look, and she gave a bit of a grin back at him. "Worth a try." He shook his head with a small sigh and walked towards the house again. Rita was very curious about his past now, but she figured he wasn't going to tell her right now. She hoped that one day, though, he would feel safe enough to confide in her about it.
...
Lance waited until Rita was out in the barn before asking Luke what the hell was going on with his face. He had a missed call from the school with a message stating Luke had been involved in an altercation, but there hadn't been any more information than that, so he was left guessing. It wasn't a hard guess, really.
"Hey," he said, making Luke look at him from drying the dishes. "What did you do?"
"Nothing."
"Try again." He held Luke's gaze, and the boy finally caved.
"This guy was feeling up this girl without her consent, and I couldn't stand by and let it happen," he explained.
"I see."
"His buddy got involved, and they got caught beating on me, so it looked like they attacked me."
"So no one knows you started it?"
"Just the girl."
"She didn't say anything?"
"No. I also left that part out when I talked to the principal."
"Good. Try to keep your head down, eh?" Lance shook his head, feeling a bit annoyed but also a sense of pride that Luke would fight to protect someone's honor. It was exactly something he would do after all.
"I'm trying. I got suspended for the rest of the week, though."
"Go work with Kenny then."
"I will."
Lance gave a nod and went to assist Rita in doing the animal chores. Luke came out a bit later to help too, and he watched the two of them talking. He felt confident that if Rita ever was in a position of being harmed, Luke would intervene, and that really helped him feel a bit better about keeping the boy around.
...
Luke groaned slightly as he pressed the pack of frozen corn against his bruised cheekbone. He sat on the couch and tilted his head back, closing his eyes. He felt Rita sit next to him a moment later, and he knew without looking at her that she'd pulled her legs crossed and was resting her elbows on them.
"What?" he asked, eyes still closed.
"I heard you tell Dad why you did it," she said, and he opened his eyes and turned his head slightly to look at her.
"I should have known," he sighed. Rita was notorious for listening at doors sometimes.
"I think it was brave," she went on. "What you did."
"It was stupid," he corrected.
"No, it wasn't. I would hope that if I was ever in that position, someone would step in to help me out like that," she said. "Everyone usually just turns away, but you didn't. I like that about you, Luke. Don't change it."
He looked at her, seeing how honest she was being, and it touched him. He sniffed and gave a nod.
"I won't," he promised. She smiled and reached to give his shoulder a fond shake. He smiled back, shifting his head again and closing his eyes once more. He felt her get up and heard her leave. He heard Lance a few moments later.
"Lights out in ten," he said.
"Alright."
Luke waited a few minutes before taking the frozen corn off and putting it back in the freezer. He went to bed, feeling exhausted suddenly. He wondered how long this new reputation he'd built for himself would last.
But what he really couldn't stop thinking about was the bruise on Melissa's side that had clearly not come from Mike.
A Few Days Later
Rita was trying to enjoy the weekend and was in the barn with Willow when she heard a car come up the driveway. She paused, wondering who was there. She went to look out the door, and she saw Luke greeting a girl as she got out of her beat up looking jeep. She was immediately curious as to who she was and why she was there. Did Luke have a girlfriend that she didn't know about? She felt the cut to her heart, but she swallowed it down. He was older than her after all. She watched them talk, and when they headed for the barn, she suddenly panicked. She didn't want to meet this girl. She scurried up the ladder to the hay loft and hid herself away just as Luke came inside with her.
"Rita?" Luke called. She stayed silent, knowing if he knew she was there, he'd kick her out.
"Is she your sister?" the girl asked.
"No...kind of a foster sister I guess?" he said.
"Makes sense."
Foster sister? Rita wrinkled her nose. She did not like that term because it had the word "sister" in it. She most certainly did not want to be viewed as a sister.
"Rita, if you're in here, clear out," Luke ordered. Rita still didn't move. She was dedicated now. A small part of her felt guilty, but the rest of her was too curious to know what was going on.
"It's alright," the girl said.
"Her bike is gone," Luke reasoned. "She's probably off in the woods somewhere."
Rita bit her lip. She'd left her bike somewhere else, so he had misleading information, but that wasn't her fault he was making a wrong assumption.
"Such a pretty lady," the girl said, and Rita knew she was referring to Willow. She heard her horse blow air through her nostrils in a friendly way.
"You wanna tell me why you look like you went a round with Mike Tyson?" Luke asked, and Rita stiffened. What was he talking about?
"I came here to say thank you, not to get grilled," the girl said, sounding defensive now.
"Melissa, I'm not blind or stupid," Luke said. "I get it."
"Get what?"
"You and me, we're not that different," Luke offered. Rita was barely breathing. She was finally going to learn something about Luke's past, and it annoyed her that she had to hear it through eavesdropping, but she wanted to know so badly. She inched her way closer to the edge so she could see them. They were standing side by side, their hands on the stall door with Willow standing in front of them on the other side. Melissa's was an inch from Luke's, and Rita's heart twisted when he reached to rest his on top of hers. Melissa's other hand was stroking Willow's snout gently.
"You can't say anything," Melissa said, sounding desperate now. "I'm 18 next summer. I can leave then."
"How long?" Luke asked.
"My whole life," Melissa answered. "I just have to finish high school, and then I'm out of here. I'm never coming back."
"That's good," Luke said as he inhaled and exhaled. Melissa turned to face him then. Rita didn't know why she couldn't stop watching.
"What about you?" she asked him.
"I'm out of it now, but it didn't end well."
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine. I'm safe here."
"What's it like to be free?" Melissa asked, looking at him now. Luke looked down a bit, his fingers playing with hers.
"It's incredible," he said honestly, looking back at her. "There's always gonna be issues from it, but they're slowly getting better with time."
Rita wanted to know what he was talking about. How could he be so vague right now? It was infuriating. The only thing she could gather from this speech was that he'd suffered abuse from someone, and that hurt her heart to know.
"I can't wait," Melissa said.
"I truly believe that one day, you'll be free too," Luke promised, and she smiled.
"Well, thank you again for helping out the other day," Melissa said. "I appreciate it."
"You deserve to be treated well," Luke reasoned. Melissa smiled again, and then a second later, she was pressed into Luke and kissing him. Rita clamped a hand over her mouth to stop her sound of despair, but the kiss didn't last long. Melissa pulled back and looked at him, and he put his hands on her shoulder and gently nudged her back when she went to move in again.
"Mel," he said. "I can't."
"Why not?"
"Sam," he answered. Sam? Rita's mind was spinning. So he did have a girlfriend! That made her stomach sink so low...
"Sam? Seriously?" Melissa asked, surprised.
"He's crazy about you," Luke advised. "I'm his buddy. I can't do that to him."
"Sam's crazy about me," Melissa repeated. Rita felt so relieved. Sam was a boy, a boy who liked Melissa, who clearly didn't know it. High school drama was so interesting.
"Yea."
She pushed a hand through her hair, looking stunned. "Why has he never said anything?"
"He's a chicken shit," Luke answered with a chuckle. "We've told him more than once to tell you. I probably shouldn't have even told you, but someone has to say it."
"Well, I hate to disappoint, but I'm not gonna pursue that," Melissa stated.
"Why not?"
"I just can't."
"But you were with me," Luke pointed out.
"You're different," Melissa said, lifting and dropping her hands next to her sides. "You get me. You know what I've been through. You've been through it too."
"I'm flattered, but I can't do that to Sam," Luke said firmly. Melissa gave a small smile and nodded her head slowly.
"Honorable too. Damn," she said, sighing. "Alright. I get it."
"Friends?" Luke asked.
"Friends," Melissa agreed, and he hugged her, which Rita wondered why he'd do that if they were just friends. Hugging could lead to other things. She knew that. She did her best to stamp down the fire of jealousy inside of her that was blazing right now.
"Come on," Luke said, nudging Melissa to the door. "Let me show you around a bit."
"Perfect."
Rita sat there alone once they were gone, her mind spinning. What the hell had Luke endured that was the same as Melissa? Was it really abuse? She was dying to know, but she was pretty sure she was never going to find out.
...
"Thanks, Luke," Mel said to him once she was back in her jeep after their stroll around the farm. Luke was leaning an arm on the roof of it while leaning down to her level to look at her.
"Anytime," he replied with a smile.
"We, uh, don't have to...like...discuss what happened earlier, right?" she asked, sounding hopeful.
"It's forgotten," he promised. She nodded slowly.
"Good. Thank you."
"No problem."
"I'll see you at school," Mel said, cranking the engine on and putting it in reverse.
"Yea."
He tapped the roof of her jeep before pushing off, and she waved with a smile before backing up and turning around. When she was gone, Luke stood there with his hands tucked into his pockets. He had not expected her to kiss him, but he understood why. He resembled safety to her, and if it wasn't for Sam, he possibly would have indulged in it. At the same time, though, he wouldn't have wanted her to use him for safety and then have a bad relationship because of it.
He turned and spotted Rita coming out of the barn, and he froze. She froze as well, and he saw the bits of hay in her hair and on her clothes.
"Were you in there the whole time?" he demanded. He felt angry. Why did she eavesdrop? He couldn't understand it. At first, it looked like she was going to lie, but then she saw the damning evidence on her that proved her wrong, so she let her hands drop to her sides and released a small sigh.
"Yea," she confessed.
"Rita!"
"I'm sorry!" she cried. "I completely froze up, and then you started talking, so I couldn't just show myself could I?"
"You are unbelievable," Luke growled. He started to walk away then, knowing he'd blow up at her if he stayed.
"Luke! I'm sorry!" She ran to catch him, and he whirled to face her when she was right behind him. She stopped short when he did, his finger ramming the air in front of her nose as he spoke.
"You can't just let it go, can you?" he asked angrily. "You can't accept the fact that some things about me are private!"
"Not that private because you told her," Rita countered, crossing her arms tight now.
"That's different."
"How? I'm your best friend! At least, I thought I was," she said, sounding like she was trying not to cry now. "You'll open up to someone you barely know but not to me? That hurts, Luke."
"And it hurts me when you listen at doors," he shot back. "You don't respect privacy."
"Well the joke's on you because I don't even know what the hell you were saying to her!" Rita shouted. "Even when you're being open, you're vague as hell!"
"Well good!" he exclaimed. "Serves you right for thinking you'd get insider knowledge on me!" He was slightly shaking, and she was fighting back tears. He knew she felt bad, but it didn't change what she'd knowingly done.
"I'm sorry for wanting to know you," she said finally, her voice thick. "I'm sorry for caring." She turned to leave, and he let her. His jaw was clenched, and he tried to even his breathing. He knew that she wanted to know him, but he was afraid to let her fully know him. How did he know that she'd stay his friend if she knew everything? How could he ever tell her that he'd killed two people in his life so far? That he nightmared about it all the time and sometimes still thought he was going to get a beating randomly? He knew how she felt because he wanted to know about her past too, but he'd never eavesdrop to find out. He respected that she would tell him when she was ready, and he just wished she had given him the same respect.
"Shit," he muttered to himself, pressing a hand to his face. He left her alone, though, and went inside. They'd have to make up later.
...
Rita did not like being on the outs with Luke. She knew what she'd done was wrong, but she felt right in being a bit betrayed he would confide in someone else and not her. Her stomach twisted, and she could barely eat supper.
"What's with you?" Lance asked, noticing.
"Bad day," she muttered. She didn't look at Luke, who was also quiet. Lance looked back and forth between them.
"I feel like I'm missing something here," he commented. Rita looked up then. Was Luke going to sell her out? He was chewing slowly, his eyes meeting hers.
"I can't speak for Rita, but I found out something unsettling about a friend of mine, so I'm processing," Luke finally answered, shifting his eyes away from her.
"Oh, that's too bad. Something serious?"
"Serious enough, but I can't do anything about it."
"Hm," Lance said, rubbing his finger under his chin thoughtfully. Then he looked at Rita. "And you? What made your day bad?"
"I, uh, I did something to hurt Bridget's feelings," she answered, telling a half-truth. "It wasn't done out of malice, just curiosity, but it was still wrong, and I feel like she's not gonna forgive me and might end our friendship."
"Well, sounds like you just have to talk it out with her," Lance reasoned.
"Yea," Rita said softly. "If she'll give me the time of day."
"She will," Luke said now. "Your friendship is too important to her to lose." Rita knew that he knew she was talking about them, and she appreciated his reassurance that he wasn't going to end their friendship.
"That's good to know," she replied. She held his gaze until he looked away before Lance noticed.
"Okay, at least I'm all caught up," Lance said, finishing and wiping his mouth with his napkin. "I'm gonna head out and do the animals if one of you cares to join me."
"I will," Luke offered, standing up next. Rita groaned inwardly. She hated doing dishes and kitchen clean up by herself, but it was only fair. She finished picking at her food and went to clean up while her father and Luke went outside. She turned on her father's stereo, putting Johnny Cash on and dancing a little while working. Before long, she was finished, and she went out for a walk in the remaining moments of daylight. She made her way to the top of the rock wall and sat down cross legged, looking out at everything. She pulled her jacket around her tighter. While it was spring and the majority of snow had melted, it was still a bit chilly at times.
She thought about Luke and what he'd said to Melissa. The more she thought about it, the more she concluded he had endured some form of abuse from someone. It hurt her to know that he carried that pain inside. She fidgeted with the bracelet on her wrist, which was something she did to calm her thoughts or feel close to Luke. She knew it was silly, but it helped.
Footsteps made her turn her head sharply to see Luke standing there. She'd somehow missed seeing him down below coming up the trail.
"Hey," he said. "Can I join?"
"Yea."
He sat down beside her and rested his elbows on his crossed legs. Rita waited for him to get mad again, but he didn't.
"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to picture bad things happening to me," he said after a moment, his voice soft. "I know you tend to let your imagination run, and I just wanted to spare you from it. But yes, Rita, I had some really shitty things happen to me growing up, mostly done by my father, and I'm doing my best to forget about it."
The pain in her heart at this was a lot. She worked hard not to picture him getting abused by his father. Rita twisted to face him fully now. "Luke, the whole point of having a friend is to share the pain and get support."
"I know."
"I'm sorry I eavesdropped," she added. "I won't do it again. I promise."
"Thank you."
"Is that...is that why you have pain in your eyes?" she asked hesitantly. He chewed on his cheek, looking at her.
"It's a piece of it," he admitted finally.
"You'll tell me the rest someday?"
"Someday," he replied. "Now, since I offered you a piece, I think it's only fair you return the favor." She inhaled slowly, knowing she wasn't going to tell him about Simon, not yet. That was too shameful, and she didn't want him to think less of her. Her father had instructed her not to tell people about Carol either, so she had to hold that one in. She recognized the irony of wanting Luke to share but not being able to fully share herself. Not right now anyway. It dawned on her that Luke might have felt ashamed, too, for what his father had done to him, and she felt bad again for putting pressure on him to tell her. So, she offered the next hardest thing she struggled with.
"It's my fault my mother is dead," she blurted out. "I killed her." He gave her a surprised look.
"What?"
"It is," she insisted. "She died giving birth to me. If she hadn't had me, she'd still be here."
"Rita," he said, sounding startled and almost upset. "You can't think that."
"But I do," she said strongly, gripping her head with her hands. "If it wasn't for me, she'd still be alive."
"No," he said back just as strongly. "Don't think that. She wouldn't want you to think that either. Things happen in life that are hard to explain and are devastating, but her death was not your fault, Rita. It wasn't." He waited for her to say something else, but she didn't want to argue about it. She let it go, knowing he would too.
"Well, now you know," she said, dropping her hands. "That's what I struggle with." And then some, but she couldn't get into that with him today.
"Thank you for sharing."
"Well, it was only fair," she reiterated. They looked at each other, and Rita wondered what he was thinking. He rested his cheek on his folded hands and gave her a smile after a moment.
"What?" she asked.
"I'm just really glad I met you," he answered. "Even if I had to endure what I did in order to get here."
"Luke," she said, her voice betraying how hurt she was for him.
"Don't think about it anymore," he instructed, referring to his past. "Please." Rita knew it would take a while to stop thinking about it, but she could do her best.
"I'll try," she told him.
"'Do or do not, there is no try,'" he quoted, mimicking Yoda's voice.
"Ugh," she groaned, tilting her head back. "I really regret introducing you to those movies now."
Luke was laughing, which made her join in a moment later. She hugged her knees after pulling them up, and she rested her chin on her kneecap.
"We good?" she asked him.
"Yea, we're good," he replied. "We'll always be good, Rita, no matter how mad or frustrated I get."
"Same here," she promised. He reached out his hand, and she took it, letting him squeeze it fondly. She felt the tingling and swooping inside as usual whenever they touched, and she longed for more.
"Come on," he said, pulling her to her feet with him. "Your dad has promised to whup us at Risk."
"Oh, that's what he thinks," Rita scoffed, walking down the trail behind him.
"Alliance against him?" he asked, looking back up at her.
"I can handle myself," she said proudly.
"Oho!" he exclaimed. "Well alright then."
"Last one down has to deal with Agnes tomorrow," Rita said, shooting past him now.
"Oye!"
She laughed as he ran to catch up with her, feeling so relieved and happy that they'd made up. She hoped they always would.