Slow Dance by Kelly Clarkson
Pretty Damn Close by Gary Allan
War of Hearts by Ruelle
Darkest Part by Red
Trying Not to Love You by Nickelback
Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer
American Pie by Madonna
Next to You by Little Big Town
So I saw the trailer for The Mother with JLo, and I could not stop thinking about Rosie as it just felt so familiar (but not the same, of course). I'll be watching it soon!
1996—February
Things had been relatively mundane the last while. Bridget had come around after a few weeks, purposely not speaking about what happened to her, and Rita hadn't pressed. She knew if her friend wanted to talk about it, she would. It didn't stop Rita from worrying about her, though, because Bridget had dived into her boy craziness almost harder than before and appeared almost to be fake happy. She didn't know what that meant, but she felt it wasn't good.
"Jake is gonna look SO hot in his suit!" Bridget gushed now as they sat for lunch. Rita was tuning her out. She was picking at her food and trying not to stress about this stupid dance the school was throwing for Valentine's Day tonight. She wanted to disappear. Luke was across the cafeteria talking to some girl, and Rita was feeling intensely jealous. She hated how this girl flicked at her hair and kept touching Luke's arm.
"Earth to Rita!" Bridget called, waving her hand in front of her face.
"What?" Rita asked.
"You should ask Devon!"
"No."
"Come on," Bridget whined. "He likes you! And you need a date!"
"I don't need a date cos I'm not going," Rita insisted, and she wasn't going to ask Devon. He was okay, but she just wasn't into him the way he was into her.
"You have to! I don't want to go alone!"
"You're going with Jake," Rita reminded her.
"I need my bestie there," Bridget said firmly, grabbing Rita's arm and giving it a shake. "You have to come."
"I really don't want to," Rita replied. Her insides clenched when the girl moved in to kiss Luke's cheek. What the actual hell?!
"Rita," Mrs. Thomson said, sweeping by their table. "You look like just the person who likes to volunteer."
"Oh, no..." Rita started.
"We could use a greeter for the dance," Mrs. Thomson went on gaily. "Someone to keep attendance of who's coming and going, and I couldn't help but overhear that you weren't interested in attending the dance itself, so perhaps we could use you to make the mechanical flow of the dance go well?"
"I'd rather not..."
"Excellent! Be here for six," her teacher said, ignoring her. "And dress nicely!" Rita groaned inwardly. Not only was she going now, but she had to watch all the happy couples arrive and go into the dance. At least people had stopped asking her for sexual favors. She'd take being ignored over that any day.
"Well, at least you're going now," Bridget commented.
"I'm sitting outside the doors of the gym," Rita snorted.
"Close enough! I'll have you inside in no time."
Rita groaned outwardly now. She watched Luke move to talk to some guys now. He hadn't noticed her. She knew he wouldn't be coming to sit with her today. There were some days where he would, and she craved those days like air.
The bell rang about ten minutes later, and she trudged to her next class.
...
"You comin' tonight, bro?" Gideon asked as he and Luke walked outside after the day was over. Luke was tired and ready to go home. He'd had a few girls ask him to accompany them tonight to that dance, but he wasn't interested.
"Nah," Luke answered. "Not for me."
"Me either, but my lady is hellbound to go, so I gotta."
"Sorry, mate," Luke replied with a laugh. Gideon lifted a shoulder in a half shrug.
"Is what it is. Gotta give some to get some," Gideon replied with a wink. Luke gave a slight scoff and shook his head, smiling. They both looked to see Trevor making a scene with someone outside. Luke gripped his bag tighter on his shoulder.
"Shit, that's Marcus," Gideon said, seeing his younger brother getting struck by Trevor. "I gotta deal with this."
"Need backup?"
"Nah." Gideon was already charging towards the fight. Luke paused, watching. He heard some racist language coming out of Trevor's mouth, which earned him a pummeling from Gideon. Luke really hated that people just couldn't be nice to each other. He didn't understand it.
"What's going on?" Rita asked, approaching and making him look at her.
"Just Trevor," Luke replied, and she rolled her eyes.
"What a wanker. Seriously, he's gotta go."
"Yea," Luke agreed. Teachers had arrived now, and both parties were yelling and pointing fingers. Luke knew better than to go to Gideon's aid. The guy didn't appreciate someone taking over his fight for him or having any kind of assistance, which Luke had learned from experience.
"Come on," he said to Rita, moving towards his car now. They left, and Luke muddled over how rotten the world could be sometimes the entire way home.
...
"Where are you going again?" Lance asked, eyeing up Rita in her black, ankle length skirt and sparkly red halter top. Rita was feeling very self-conscious, but at least she was more modestly dressed than Bridget, who was donning a knee length emerald green dress that was too tight and made her bust look bigger than usual. It was something else for Rita to worry about, but her friend didn't seem to care she was dressed so provocatively. Rita wished she would. She watched her father eye her outfit, and she felt self-conscious. The top wasn't even hers. It was the least revealing thing that Bridget had for her to borrow. Apparently plaid was not acceptable for a greeter at a dance despite Rita's arguing. Bridget had curled her hair, too, adding sparkly stuff to it and insisting on putting some eye shadow on her. Rita had drawn the line at the bright red lipstick.
"The dance at our high school," Bridget answered cheerily.
"I see," Lance said, still looking at Rita. "Are you, uh, going alone or...?"
"I'm technically not going," Rita said quickly.
"Oh, once you're done 'greeting' everyone, I'll have you inside and partying," Bridget promised, nudging her.
"Like I said, I'm not going," Rita said again.
"You're a volunteer then?" Lance asked, relief in his eyes. She knew he didn't want to think about her hanging off of some handsy teenage boy. If only he knew that had already happened to her. He'd die.
"Yes," Rita answered, nodding vigorously.
"Do you need a ride?"
"My father is dropping us off," Bridget replied.
"I can pick you up if you want," Lance offered. Luke was walking by at this point, and Rita saw him come to a halt at the sight of her. She hoped no one could see the flush on her neck from his stunned gaze. She knew it was a rare sight for her to be in anything dressy; a part of her liked how it was making Luke's face go a bit red now too.
"I can do it," Luke said, making Lance see him. "I don't mind. I know you have plans with Kenny."
"Alright," Lance agreed after holding his gaze for a moment as if he was looking for an ulterior motive of Luke's. He looked back at Rita. "Well, have fun, ladies."
"Thank you, Mr. Vrataski," Bridget said, beaming. She tugged on Rita's arm. Rita was still looking at Luke, who was and wasn't looking back at her.
"Dad's here," Bridget said, looking out the window by the door before she pulled on her maroon, light cardigan before her coat and slid her boots on quickly, her dress shoes dangling from her fingers. Lance had left at this point, leaving Luke and Rita alone when Bridget went out to the car.
"Have a good time," he said to her. "I didn't realize you were going."
"I'm not actually going," Rita corrected.
"That's too bad. You might have fun."
Rita felt a bit exposed in this top. It didn't show off much, but it showed off enough. She shifted on her feet, wondering what he was thinking. She didn't wear stuff like this. She didn't typically look like a "girly" girl, and she could tell it hadn't gone unnoticed by him. That flutter within started up again.
"You're not going?" she asked him, realizing.
"Nah," he answered.
"Oh. I thought you'd be going with that girl you were talking to earlier," she said casually. She noticed a small smile at the corner of his lips.
"Denise has a boyfriend," he told her. "She was just thanking me for introducing them."
"Gee, I wonder what you would get if you did more than that," Rita said.
"I'll never know," he replied, still smiling a little. She was pretty sure he knew it had bugged her to see him with Denise, but because of the deal with her father she had, she couldn't talk about it.
"RITA!" Bridget hollered from outside. She grabbed her black cardigan and slid it on, then her coat.
"See you later," she said. He waved, and she stepped out into the night, dreading this whole thing with all her being.
...
Luke had to admit he had been slightly taken aback at Rita's attire that evening. He was used to seeing her in jeans or overalls with t-shirts or baggy sweaters. She did not wear clothing that accentuated her form (minus the rare times she wore a swimsuit), and he couldn't stop thinking about it, which made him berate himself and go down that whole road of "Lance will kill me" like always. He also couldn't stop thinking about how much it looked like she dreaded this whole night. It was what made him do what he did next.
He slid on his white dress shirt and buttoned it up, leaving the two near the top undone. He didn't bother with a tie. He was going for casual. He put on his black dress pants and grabbed his dress coat before heading to the door. Lance was busy and didn't see him, which he felt was a good thing. He put his boots on and grabbed his dress shoes before sliding out the door with a quiet whisper of it latching behind him.
...
Rita was bored and slightly aggravated as she sat at the table outside of the gym. Not only was she the only one there without a date, but Trevor had kindly pointed it out to everyone within earshot before tossing his coat at her head. She didn't care. She'd pulled at the rip starting in the sleeve of his coat until it was noticeable before hanging it up. That would show him for being an asshole.
Now, she was plotting on how to get even with her teacher for making her do this when footsteps approached her.
"Hey," Luke said, making her head snap up at the sound of his voice. He looked incredibly handsome, which took her off guard and made her feel like her tongue was three times the size it was.
"Hi," she managed to say.
"You look bored," he said, gesturing.
"I am," she agreed.
"Mind if I join?"
"Um, sure?" She felt surprise as he came to sit beside her. "Did you get here early or something?"
"No," he answered, looking at her. "I came to make sure you were having a good time."
"I see."
"Clearly you're not."
"This stuff just isn't my thing," Rita said, waving her hand towards the door of the gym. "I'd rather be at home..."
"Reading a book. I know," he finished for her with a smirk.
"Books aren't judgy and don't laugh at you or make you feel stupid," Rita said. "Well, I mean...they can make you feel a little bit stupid if they're talking about stuff you have no idea about, but still..."
"I love how you act like books are real people who talk to you," he said. "I think that's one of my favorite things about you."
She stared at him. What the hell was he doing? She felt confused.
"Why are you here?"
"Do you want to go inside?" he asked, interrupting. "Or do you want to sit out here miserable all night?"
"I'm not going in there," she said quickly, shaking her head. "No, no, no..."
"What's the worst that could happen?"
"Um, I get ridiculed for being alone and hated on for looking at any guy for longer than five seconds..." she trailed off, clamping her lips shut. He lifted a brow at her. She hated that she just revealed that the stupid rumor of Vince's was still whispered in the hallways. Just because people didn't flat out ask her for favors anymore didn't mean it wasn't still talked about.
"One," he said, leaning into her a little, "you're not alone. I'm with you. And two, anyone hates on you, and I pummel them into the floor." She resisted snickering at the image but barely just.
"I'm good," she replied, but he was already grabbing her arm by her elbow to pull her up from her chair. "Luke!"
"Come on," he said, steering her down the hall. She was a bit startled at first. Where was he taking her? He pushed open a classroom door that wasn't locked and flicked the light on. She recognized her English teacher's room easily enough.
"What're you doing?" she asked when he turned her to face him.
"Solving both problems," he said, putting her hand on his shoulder before taking her other hand with his and resting his other hand on her waist. Rita felt shockwaves and didn't know how to deal with it. He nudged her feet into position with his, and she felt a bit wobbly.
"Now what?" she asked when he was done.
"You follow my lead," he answered, stepping forward and making her step back.
"Oh."
He was very good. She wondered how he knew what to do. After a moment, she stopped feeling so self-conscious and started to enjoy herself, even after bumping into him or stumbling over her feet a few times. He just went with it and didn't make her feel stupid for it. If anything, she actually enjoyed the contact with him. Then he pushed her out in a slow spin, making her laugh a little, and pulled her back into him. Rita caught his shoulders, feeling dizzy and breathless.
"Sorry," she said. His one hand was on her lower back while his other was resting on her skin on her upper back between her shoulder blades, which made her feel on fire inside. His face was close to hers, and she briefly wondered if he was going to kiss her. She could feel his heart beating underneath her right arm that was pressed against his chest, and it was going rapidly.
She imagined what it would feel like for his lips to touch hers in this moment. She longed for it, yet she knew it could never happen.
"Rita," he said softly, his eyes searching hers when she looked at him. Their noses were almost touching, and she could feel his breath on her lips. She felt like she could barely breathe or might combust...or both. What was he going to say?
"Yes?" Her voice was quiet also.
"I..."
"Rita!" Bridget's voice called from the hall, and the moment was over. Luke released her, and she walked over to grab the book she'd forgotten on her desk earlier that day. Luke was leaning against the teacher's desk with his arms crossed when Bridget came into the room after seeing the door ajar.
"There you are!" she exclaimed. "Come on! You gotta join us now."
"I'm good," Rita said, tucking the book under her arm. "I got my book, and Luke's here now. I'm gonna go home."
"Aww but he's early," Bridget whined. "Luke, let her stay!"
"It's up to Rita," he answered, his eyes holding her gaze. She knew he was thinking about the same thing—the fact they just had a moment. She was 16 in a short while, but she knew it wouldn't work anyway. Her father had specifically asked her to stay away from Luke.
If only it wasn't so hard to do emotionally.
"I'm sorry, Bridge," Rita said. "I'm tired. I hope you have fun, though."
"Ugghh, you suck," Bridget said, shaking her head at her. "Fine. I'll just tell Devon that you're not interested in him."
"I'm not..."
"Whatever!" Bridget said, waving her hand in the air as she walked away. Rita was grateful her friend was clueless to the tension in the room between her and Luke.
"Devon?" Luke questioned when they were alone.
"Just some guy I'm not interested in," she answered.
"You sure?" he asked, making her look at him closely and see the slight anxiety of her dating someone else. His handsomeness made her ache inside. She longed to just walk up to him and take his face in her hands and kiss him full on the mouth. She longed for him to say whatever it was he had been about to say, but it seemed he'd changed his mind.
"Yea," she answered. "I'm sure. We, uh, we can go now." He nodded and didn't say anything else, just gestured with his hand for her to walk out first. He turned off the light and closed the door behind him. Then they were walking side by side down the hall. She grabbed her cardigan and coat on the way by her chair.
"You know," he said as they went down the stairs together. "The night is still young."
"What did you have in mind?" she asked.
He smiled.
...
Luke had to stop staring at Rita as she bent over the pool table to take her shot. He remembered how his hand had felt on her skin on her back earlier, and it was not helping him to push down his feelings for her.
And, God help him, he'd come so, so close to telling her that he was falling for her.
He was leaning on his cue stick with a smile on his lips while Rita concentrated hard on her move. He'd shown her how to play, and now she was beating his ass.
"Ha! Yes," she said, fist pumping after sinking the ball into the corner like she'd hoped.
"I feel like you hustled me," Luke commented as she went to take another shot.
"I just have really good hand/eye coordination," she insisted, putting another ball into another pocket.
"Uh huh."
"This was your idea," she reminded him, looking over her shoulder at him. The gesture and the look she was giving him made him want to lift her up onto that pool table and kiss her hard. He gripped his cue stick tighter, trying to calm his thoughts. Rita was off limits. Lance would kill him if he tried anything.
So why the hell had he almost told her how he felt earlier?
"Good thing we're not playing for money," he said lightly.
"For you," Rita scoffed. "I'd be a lot richer right now."
"You're awfully cocky for a newbie pool player," he pointed out. She straightened up and came over to him, making him tremble inside.
"Oh yea?" she said, sweeping her hair back from her face. "Care to make it interesting then?"
"How so?"
"If I win, you have to muck out the stalls all by yourself for two weeks," she said.
"And if I win?" he countered.
"I dunno. You gotta come up with something," she replied.
You let me kiss you, he thought, and then he instantly mentally chastised himself. He was supposed to not be thinking about that.
"Alright," he said. "You have to prank your dad."
"Aw, Luke," she whined. "You know how much he hates that!"
"Exactly," he said, eyes twinkling. "Don't lose then."
"Since I'm already ahead, I don't think I need to worry about that," she reasoned. He scoffed.
"We'll see."
...
Rita was feeling warm all over as they drove home. Luke had almost won the game, but she'd deliberately leaned on the pool table across from him to make him lose his concentration, and he'd blown the shot. She'd won the game, and he'd groaned about having to do the stalls alone for two weeks.
She already knew she wasn't going to let him do it alone. She'd slightly cheated anyway. She'd used her body against him, which had proved to her that he was definitely attracted to her. It wouldn't have worked otherwise. It made her flush inside to know that. She was still thinking about what he was going to say to her earlier before Bridget had rudely interrupted, but she guessed she would never know. He seemed to have changed his mind about telling her, but it didn't stop her from imagining what it could have been.
I want to be your boyfriend.
I'm crazy about you.
I'm in love with you.
"Hey," Luke said, startling her out of her daydream. She realized they were at the farm now and parked. "Thanks for the fun night."
"It was," she agreed. "And I should be thanking you."
"You're welcome." He smiled. Oh God, she wanted to touch his face and kiss him. She swallowed, pushing the car door open instead. Lance was reading in the living room when they went inside.
"Good night?" he asked her.
"Yea," Rita answered. "It was."
"That's good. I'm glad you went."
"Me too."
Luke went to his room after waving good night to Lance, whose brow had lifted upon seeing him in a dress shirt and pants, his coat draped over his arm. Rita said nothing as her father turned his gaze towards her. She smiled and went up the stairs to her room. When she was in bed trying to sleep thirty minutes later, she couldn't stop thinking about how Luke had intentionally kept pressing into her or touching her at the pool hall. Was that his way of telling her he liked her instead of actually telling her? She felt hot all over, thinking about it.
If only she was allowed to act on it.
London, U.K.
Rosie looked at Jess and could tell she wasn't well. There was a hollowness to her almost, and Rosie had a bad feeling about it.
"Are you okay?" she asked. They were both waiting for Zeke to come out of his office and give them their assignments. Rosie hadn't seen Jess for a while, but she definitely knew something was up.
"Just tired," Jess replied.
"You sure that's all? Are you sick?" She noticed Jess flinch a little, and she wondered if Jess had suspected it too.
"I have a doctor's appointment soon," she confessed.
"Good."
"Don't say anything to Zeke about it."
"I won't."
Jess gave a nod just as the door opened and Zeke himself came out. Rosie took her job and got out of there as quickly as she could. She looked back at Jess, who was following behind her, and she suddenly had a bad feeling that Jess was going to get bad news about her health.
She did her best to shake off that feeling and carry on with her day.
...
Jess watched Rosie get into her car and leave. She got into hers and sat there for a moment, gathering her thoughts and emotions. She'd lied to Rosie. She'd already gone to the doctor and discovered she had cancer. She was supposed to be starting treatment soon, but the odds weren't great, so she didn't think they'd be too long figuring that out. Jess already knew she probably didn't have long; her time working would be cut short in the near future.
She released a shaky breath, thinking about Luke. She wanted to go see him but knew she couldn't. She knew that when he found out she was gone, he'd be upset. At least, she hoped he would care a little bit. She knew he was angry at her about Brendan dying, but she hoped that had faded a little by now.
She started her car finally, heading off to her destination. A few tears slipped out and down her cheeks along the way.
She wished so hard for a time machine to go back and change everything. Maybe then she'd be happy and have the normal life she'd always wanted.
1996—April
Rita wondered why Luke wasn't coming home, so she went over to Kenny's to investigate. Copper walked alongside her, tongue hanging out joyfully. She noticed the four wheeler was by the barn, so she knew he wasn't out checking the fields.
"Luke?!" she called.
"In here," he said back, and she walked into the barn to find him leaning on a stall door watching a cow.
"What's going on?" she asked, joining him. Copper nosed Luke eagerly, looking for a treat. He reached to scratch the dog's head absently. Rita loved how bonded the dog was to Luke. She'd helped teach him tricks and train him, but Copper only had eyes for Luke if he was in the room. Even Kenny admitted how impressed he was with a hound dog being that good of a listener. Of course, Copper had his moments of mischief, but no one could stay mad at his cute face for very long.
"Cow's giving birth," Luke answered.
"Oh," Rita said, sounding a bit worried. "Was that supposed to happen?"
"It was possible, but Kenny had hoped not until he was back."
"What do we do?" she asked.
"I'm gonna keep an eye on her to make sure it goes well," Luke replied, turning his head to look at her. "So I won't be home tonight."
Rita didn't like the idea of being alone in the house. Something about that made her feel uneasy. She wished her father hadn't gone to this auction with Kenny so far away.
"Can I stay too?" she asked almost hesitantly. He gave her a surprised look.
"You want to sleep in a barn all night?"
"I've never seen a cow give birth before. I think I should cross that off my bucket list."
"I didn't realize you had one."
"Yep," she said, holding her head up.
"Is reading 1,000 books on that list?" he teased.
"You'll never know," she retorted. She shifted on her feet then. "How do you know if it's going wrong?"
"I've watched this enough times to know what's going well and what's not," Luke assured her.
"What if it goes wrong?"
"Kenny's shown me enough and explained enough that I'm confident I'll be just fine," he said.
"I hope so."
"How about you have some faith in me, huh?" he said, nudging her. She felt the flush in her cheeks and turned away so he wouldn't see it. She watched Copper turning in a circle before flopping down a little off to the right, yawning wide after doing so. She went to sit on a hay bale and got as comfortable as she could. She knew it was going to be a long night, but it was much more appealing than being home alone.
...
Luke was tired, and he kept dozing at times, but he was on constant alert for something going wrong with the cow. He didn't want to fail Kenny by losing both a calf and a cow if he messed this up. He'd taken his coat and draped it over Rita as she slept on her side on the hay. He watched her sleep for a while, feeling his love for her try to surface again. He swallowed it down. He resisted smoothing the hair from her face. It was getting harder to be around her it seemed, and he didn't know what to do about it.
Copper was snoring, and he sat down on the floor and rested his foot against the dog's belly. Copper snorted and snuffled, waking up and moving to flop his head in Luke's lap with a heavy sigh. Luke worked his fingers over the dog's ears and temple, earning a delighted groan from his pup. He smiled.
"You're spoiled, you know that?" he said. Copper thumped his tail and licked at his hands in response. Luke rested his head against the hay and closed his eyes.
...
Rita woke up with a start and realized there was a commotion going on in front of her. She sat up quickly, blinking the sleep from her eyes and trying to make sense of what she was seeing.
"What's going on?" she asked when the cow made an unearthly sound.
"Calf's breech," Luke answered. She then realized he was up to his shoulder in the cow's privates, and she felt herself slightly gag.
"Is it...is it going to be okay?" she asked.
"I'm working on it," he answered. She watched Luke with a worried expression on her face. She wished now more than ever that they could get a hold of Kenny or her father for help.
"Have you done this before?" she asked.
"Twice," he answered. "Kenny is a good teacher."
Rita knew this. She watched, half fascinated and half horrified, as Luke's face showed strain while he did whatever the hell it was he was doing to the calf inside of the cow. Copper was pacing and whining, sensing there was potential trouble on the horizon.
"Alright," Luke said. "Alright, alright. I got it. It's okay, girl." Rita watched, enraptured, as he ever so slowly pulled the calf out.
"Why are you taking so long?" she asked.
"Gotta let the cow dilate," he answered.
"Oh, I see." She felt a little stupid, but she wasn't well versed in calving. When he finally gave one last pull after what felt like an hour, she leaped to her feet when it came toppling out, and even Copper jumped back out of the way before coming to sniff curiously.
Luke removed the shoulder length glove and tossed it into the trash can behind him before he set to work checking the calf, and Rita went over to the mother cow and rubbed her snout comfortingly.
"It's all over now," she said. "You did so good." The cry of a calf made her look to see Luke looking relieved and a little calf lying on the ground blinking at the brightness. The mother cow went to lick the calf heartily.
"At least she's bonding with it," Luke said, stepping out of the way.
"Do they not always do that?"
"No. Sometimes a mother will reject the calf," he explained. "If you can find another mother to adopt it, you're good. If not, you gotta be the one to feed it all the time."
"That seems mean," Rita said. "Why would she reject her baby?"
"I don't know," Luke replied. "I'm not a cow." She rolled her eyes and went back to watching the cows interact with each other. The whole experience had been fascinating, if not a little bit gross. She eyed Luke's arm, knowing she wasn't going to entirely forget where it had just been.
"Good job," she said when he came to sit beside her on the hay after she got comfortable there again.
"Thanks." He smiled tiredly. He leaned back, groaning with fatigue. Rita didn't really think too much about it before leaning on his shoulder and closing her eyes. He didn't move, and she soon fell asleep. The last thing she saw was the baby calf almost smiling as its mother continued to wash its face.
A Couple Months Later
Luke was feeling both happy to be almost done with school and sad that he was leaving Rita behind. He didn't know how he would have survived without being able to see her throughout the day to make him smile. He could tell it was bothering her that he was leaving, even though they still had a few weeks left.
Case in point, she was getting frustrated with the barn door that liked to stick.
"Argh!" she yelled, slamming it to no avail. "Come on!"
"Here," he said, coming up behind her. He kicked the bottom of the door and rammed his shoulder into it at the same time, and it shut nicely. He looked at Rita, who was rapidly wiping at her eyes. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," she said roughly.
"I hate that I'm leaving too," he said softly, and he watched her slowly soften and lose her tough act. She shook her head mutely, pressing her hands over her eyes to hide her new tears. He reached to pull her into a hug, and she let him.
"I don't want to do this without you," she said into his chest.
"I know. You're halfway finished, though. And I'm not leaving the house."
"You're not?" she asked, looking up at him.
"No." He'd decided this about a week ago. He knew he was 19 and could live on his own, but he didn't want to. He didn't want to leave her. Lance had approved him staying, advising he could take all the time he needed, which Luke really appreciated. Kenny had promised him more time on his ranch working, and that's what Luke wanted to do for now until he made up his mind one way or another about what he was doing.
"Oh. I thought you'd be eager to go," Rita said, looking up at him. She was catching him height wise, her eyes level with his chin now.
"Why would I be?" he countered. "I've got it pretty good here. No reason to ditch everybody." He mostly meant her, and he hoped she could see that. She searched his eyes, and he saw relief there. He also saw longing, and it made his heart hurt to know she wasn't alone in that feeling.
"Thank you," she said finally. "For staying." He could barely hold back from kissing her. He forced himself to let her go, and he knew he really had to work harder at getting rid of his feelings.
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," he reiterated. She smiled, and he did too.
A Few Days Later
Rita felt strange being 16. She'd kept it a quiet affair with her father, Luke, and their neighbors. She hadn't wanted a big celebration despite Bridget saying she should. Rita had learned her lesson last year after her friend had gotten ridiculous with her silly games. There was no way Rita was doing anything that involved kissing people she didn't know. There was only one person she wanted to kiss.
Her father came up behind her, which didn't surprise her. The sun was setting, and she was sitting on top of the rock wall with her knees halfway pulled to her chest, her right arm loosely draped over her one knee and her other hand holding that arm.
"You seem pensive," Lance said, groaning a little as he sat down next to her. He mimicked her stance and looked at her afterwards.
"I'm just thinking about Mum," Rita answered, which was true. She wondered if her mother would have had different things to show or teach her. She'd never know.
"Me too," Lance said. He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to her. She took it gingerly, curious. She opened the skinny box to reveal a silver locket.
"It's beautiful," she breathed. She opened it, and inside was a photo of her father and one of Willow.
"So you'll always have us with you," Lance said, and Rita felt her eyes burn with tears. She shut it and curled her hand around it, turning to hug her father. He put an arm around her in return, smoothing his hand over her back gently as she cried a little.
"Was it hers?" she asked after a moment, her head resting on his shoulder.
"Yes," he answered. "It was. She put those photos in it too. Although I always felt a little sorry for the other animals for not making the cut." It made her snort through her tears, and she covered her mouth with her hand.
"Thank you," Rita whispered after composing herself. She let him put it on a few moments later, and she felt the weight of it on her chest. She pictured her mother wearing it and did her best not to start crying again.
"She'd be so proud of you," Lance told her, squeezing her tight against him for a moment. "Just like I am."
Rita had no more words to say, so she said nothing, but she knew he understood how much it meant to her. They sat there until the sun went down; then they went inside.
...
"What are you doing?" Rita asked. Luke was on his hands on the floor of his room. He was doing his push up that his mother had taught him. He was trying to ground himself, trying to keep mindful and not thinking about anything that would get him into trouble.
Like Rita.
"What's it look like?" he retorted.
"Looks like a complicated push up," she said. "How come I don't know how to do this?"
"Cos I didn't teach you."
"Well, teach me," she said logically. He lost his concentration and fell onto his stomach with an "oomph" sound. He pushed himself up onto his knees and looked at her.
"Go on then," he said, gesturing to the floor. She rested on her stomach and pushed herself up with her hands a little, putting herself into the position of a regular push up. Luke grabbed her ankles, making her yelp slightly, and he lifted them up. He could feel her straining to hold herself up despite him holding her legs.
"This...is...hard," she grunted.
"It'll get easier," he reasoned, letting go of her ankles, and she hit the floor with a thud.
"Ow," she said.
"Try again," he said.
"My arms are killing me..."
"Then wait a bit and then try again," he said.
"Alright, alright."
He admired her determination; she always had it. Everything he taught her was something she gave her all into learning. He felt confident she could defend herself after all the self-defense lessons he'd given her. He hoped she wouldn't ask him to teach her anything else; there was no way he was going to make her into someone like him. Not a chance.
"Can I ask you a favor?" she asked, making him wonder if he'd said his thoughts out loud.
"What's that?"
"Can you teach me to drive?"
He should have expected that. He felt relief all the same, and he smiled at her.
"Of course."
She looked so excited; it made him smile wider. Then he held up a finger and went to pull her gift out of his nightstand drawer.
"You didn't have to..." she tried.
"Let's skip that this year," he interrupted, and she nodded and laughed lightly. When she saw he'd gotten her a first edition of her favorite book, she nearly broke his back with the hug.
"How did you get this?" she demanded.
"That's my secret," he answered. Gideon had made him pay an arm and a leg for it when he'd seen it on his shelf and asked to buy it from him, but it was worth it.
"Well, thank you," she said. He decided to do what he did next, knowing it probably wasn't a good idea, but he couldn't help himself. He moved to kiss her cheek, holding his lips there for a beat longer than usual. His hand was cupping her other cheek gently.
"Happy birthday," he said after, smoothing his thumb across her cheek lightly. That unspoken thing was still between them, and he knew this was not something he should be doing, that he needed to let her go.
"Thank you," she said again, holding his gaze. He smiled and forced himself to take his hand back and let her go. She practically stumbled out of there, and he felt his own heart racing.
If only, if only, if only...
The Next Day
"Holy crap," Rita said, her hands on the wheel. It felt very intimidating suddenly. "Holy crap!"
"Just relax," Luke instructed. "You're only going down the driveway."
"What if I hit something?"
"If you can't keep the car in a straight line, then there's something more going on with your vision," he retorted. She rolled her eyes, and with a shaky hand, she put the car into gear.
"It's moving without my foot on the gas," she said, and he laughed.
"That's how it works. Give it a little, though. You gotta try sometime."
Rita lightly pressed down, and they shot forward. She crammed both feet onto the brake, and Luke just about went through the dashboard. She hit the steering wheel and winded herself slightly.
"Sorry," she whispered when Luke shot her a look, his hand on his head. He sighed and started to chuckle.
"It's fine. Try it again...just let me get my helmet first."
"Luke!"
"I'm kidding," he said, reaching to shake her arm fondly. "Come on, do it again."
She took some breaths and tried again. She released a high pitch kind of drawn out squeal as she went down the driveway.
"Lightly touch the brake," he said when they neared the end. She obeyed, and he told her to put it in reverse.
"I can't go backwards!" she exclaimed.
"You have to learn," he insisted. "Go on." He waved his hand to gesture her to go, and she swallowed hard. She turned in the seat and slowly made her way backwards to the house. Copper was watching idly from his spot on the porch, tongue lolling.
"Again," Luke said. They spent a while doing this until he got her starting to practice parking. She felt her confidence grow the more she did, and she was full out grinning by the time they were done.
"That was awesome," she said, handing him back his keys. He smiled back at her. She felt wobbly inside, remembering his kiss last night. She hadn't known why he'd done it, but it made her feel like he still was telling her he had feelings for her. She had to let it go, though, as much as it pained her.
"You'll be passing that test in no time," he promised. Rita couldn't wait. She wanted to have her own freedom with her own car. It was one step closer to being an adult, and even though it thrilled her, it also scared her.
But it was something she wasn't going to dwell on for right now.
Two Weeks Later
Luke watched as Trevor approached him. It was his final week and a half here at this school, and he was very much looking forward to being done, but he was dreading leaving Rita alone with Trevor. He wasn't stupid; he'd noticed she had stayed home sick a few times over the year because of Trevor's nonsense. He liked to sneak up on her and try to kiss or touch her. He was very vocal about how she was his trophy he was eventually going to win, and Luke wanted to beat the piss out of him for it.
"Looks like Rita will finally be mine next year," Trevor said now, smirking. "I bet she's so ti-..."
Luke hadn't even hesitated and grabbed Trevor by the scruff of the neck mid-sentence and threw him into the lockers hard. Trevor laughed as he hit them and bounced off. He shook it off and smirked even wider.
"Whaddya gonna do, big guy? You're not gonna be here anymore," Trevor reminded him. "Unless you wanna do two extra years of high school."
Luke took a swing but missed. He didn't want to get caught and expelled right at the end of the year, but he was done with this shit from this weasel.
"You and me," Luke said, managing to catch Trevor's throat and pushing him into the locker tight. "We'll settle this once and for all on the streets."
"Oh yea?"
"Yea. I win, you leave Rita alone or else I kill you," Luke said.
"Fine. I win, and Rita's mine and you have to vandalize Tanner's car and leave your name on it."
"Fine," Luke said, letting him go before someone noticed. "Friday."
"You got it, buster."
Luke gave him one last shove before making his way out to his car. He was shaking slightly. He didn't ever want Trevor to touch Rita, so he couldn't lose this. It wasn't even something he should have bet, but it was the only thing he could think of to end this finally.
"I heard," Gideon said, coming up to him in the parking lot. "You got a lot at stake, man."
"I know."
"Trevor says, and I quote: 'That hot little virgin ass will be mine.' You sure you can beat him? It's a lot at stake if you don't," Gideon warned. Luke gave him a dark look back. How ironic that Trevor liked to fuel the flame of his brother's rumor that Rita was a tramp, but he really knew the truth.
"You leave Trevor to me," Luke said.
"A'ight," Gideon agreed, clapping Luke's shoulder. "Good luck."
Friday
Rita was wiggling her leg as she sat in the car, watching Luke and Trevor talking to Gideon. She didn't like the look on Trevor's face and how stormy Luke's looked in comparison. He finally came and got into the driver's seat, exhaling and getting comfortable. He appeared relaxed after a moment, his right hand resting on the steering wheel loosely while his left elbow was propped against the edge of the window with his fingers resting on his lips, but she could see his jaw was a bit tense. This was her first time being in a car race, and she couldn't believe he was even allowing her to come.
Well, it might have had something to do with her threatening to tell Lance about it if he didn't let her ride with him when he'd tried to sneak out.
"What do you get if you win?" she asked.
"Respect," he answered.
"That's it?"
"Not everything is worth money," he told her without looking at her. She rolled her eyes, not buying it for a second.
"I know you're yanking my chain," she said. "You're gonna get some dough from this."
"I'm not."
"Then what else?" she asked. "There has to be something more to this than just respect."
"If I win this, Trevor will leave you alone," Luke shot at her, making her stare at him.
"What?" she asked. Vince's brother was an arsehole, and he definitely harassed Rita enough to make her want to stay home "sick" at times, but she was confused as to how this came up for Luke to get into a race with him.
"You know I'm finished in a week," Luke said, looking at her finally. "I won't be here to watch your back anymore. Trevor made it perfectly clear to me that you were fair game once I was gone, so we got into it, and now we're doing this so I can stop Trevor from bothering you while you finish high school."
"Luke," Rita said, feeling slightly touched. "You didn't have to do that..."
"I told you I'd look out for you," he cut her off. "I'm doing that."
"What happens if he wins?"
"Nothing good," Luke answered.
"My life'll be a living hell?"
"And I have to vandalize Principal Tanner's car and leave my signature," Luke added.
"Oh no..."
"Yea, so there's a lot at stake here," Luke said, looking ahead again. "And I'm sorry I didn't consult with you first."
"It's fine. I trust you." She stared at him until he looked at her again briefly before looking away. He flexed his fingers on his right hand, putting his left hand on the wheel now too. She had a feeling there was a bit more than what he was telling her, and it gave her shivers of fear. She definitely wanted him to win now. She tried not to think that Trevor would still do what he wanted regardless.
"This makes me miss Vince a little," Rita admitted. "He was a lot dumber."
"I know."
"What if you win and he doesn't leave me alone?" she asked, daring to vocalize it.
"I get to beat him to a bloody pulp," Luke replied. Rita didn't get a chance to say anything else as Trevor revved his engine beside Luke, looking over and laughing at them. Rita felt her skin crawl.
"Beat his ass," she ordered, and he snorted.
"He won't know what hit him," Luke promised. A girl walked to the space between the two cars just in front of them, and she began the countdown. Rita gripped the door handle hard, bracing herself.
Then they were off.
...
Luke had it all under control. He'd raced many times before, and he loved the feel of a car flying through the dark and drifting corners. He loved the sound of the engine revving and rubber burning.
"Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke!" Rita chanted as he dodged a cat running out onto the street and barreled past it. He was smirking as she tried to hold onto anything as if it would keep her from losing her shit.
She screamed again as he narrowly missed getting hit by Trevor. The bastard was a cheater, that was for sure. He reached over and grabbed her left knee.
"Stop," he ordered. "You're distracting me."
"I can't watch," she said, covering her eyes with her hands. He sped down the black top, knowing he had this race in the bag. He saw Trevor in his rear view mirror, and he knew the guy would be pissed.
"Home stretch," Luke said, feeling his adrenaline kick in. Rita peeked through her fingers as he drifted around the final corner. Trevor suddenly shot past him.
"What?!" Rita shrieked.
"Bastard," Luke growled, reaching with his hand for the nozzle to twist it.
"What just happened?"
"He cheated."
"How?"
"He used NOS."
"What the hell is NOS?"
"It makes you go faster," Luke replied, flicking switches now.
"So, he should be disqualified," Rita reasoned, and Luke laughed.
"That's not how it works," he said.
"What?!"
"Hang on," Luke said, releasing his NOS, and Rita shrieked again as they jerked forward.
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," she kept saying. "We're gonna die!"
Luke caught up to Trevor easily enough and smoked past him again, crossing the finish line seconds before him.
"Woo!" Luke shouted, banging a fist on the wheel as he slowed down and cranked his wheel to turn his car around. Rita was visibly shaking next to him. He parked and got out to find Trevor charging at him all angry.
"You cheated!" he shouted.
"You used it first," Luke countered. "Don't lie." He saw Gideon running towards them and knew he'd be fair. He'd witnessed the deal before the race after all.
"I'm not lying," Trevor said, all up in Luke's face now. "You cheated, so you lose." Luke smacked his poking finger away and gave him a slight shove backwards.
"Hey, hey, hey," Gideon said, breaking it up. "Trevor, what the hell, man? You used NOS."
"See? Told you," Luke said.
"I didn't!"
"Witness on the street says you did."
"I swear I didn't!"
"Because you were forced to use the same means as Trevor, you're the winner," Gideon said to Luke.
"No way!" Trevor exclaimed, outraged.
"You heard him," Luke said. "And you know what happens if you don't hold up your end of the deal."
He didn't have time to duck when Trevor's fist came at his eye. It clipped him hard, but he caught himself before he stumbled backwards. He had Trevor on the ground in seconds, and the guy started to actually cry as if Luke was going to kill him.
"Damn, I hate sore losers," Gideon commented, shaking his head. "A deal's a deal, Trevor. You shouldn't have cheated. Luke, bro, step off."
Luke took his foot off of Trevor's chest and started to walk away. He saw Rita standing next to his car and looking worried.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Trevor will be leaving you alone from here on out," Luke answered, smiling a little.
"Your eye," she said, noticing it suddenly.
"Flesh wound," he dismissed. He opened the car door for her and waited for her to get in. She stood there looking at him carefully.
"I can't believe you cared about me enough to do this for me," she said.
"It's what friends do," Luke said back. She gave him that slow smile of hers, and his heart ached slightly. Truth be told, he was going to miss being at school with her. He liked knowing that she was safe because he was there.
"Well, thanks," she said, giving his shoulder a bit of a shove before getting into the car. Luke shut her door and walked around to his, noticing that Trevor was still arguing with Gideon. He chuckled and got in, feeling relieved this was over.
Now he just had to figure out what to tell Lance when he asked about Luke's black eye.
...
Lance looked up when Luke and Rita got home, and he instantly saw that Luke's eye was black. He straightened in his chair, the cards in his pathetic game of Solitaire on the table suddenly forgotten.
"What happened?" he demanded. He watched them look at each other, and he felt his chest tighten at how they were looking at each other. Something was brewing there, he was sure of it. "Luke, tell me."
"Some arsehole got grabby," Rita answered. "Luke stepped in and caught a fist. That's all."
Lance gave her an even stare. It felt like there was something more to it, but he decided to let it go for now. He gave Luke a stare next, and the young man kept his gaze even and clear. Lance nodded after a moment.
"Alright. Well, stay away from grabby boys next time."
"Definitely," Rita agreed rather cheerfully. Then she was gone, and Luke went for a glass of water. Lance looked back at his cards. Something didn't feel right. After a moment, Luke sat down across from him.
"Lance?"
"Yea?" He looked at Luke, who suddenly looked nervous. "What? What did you do?"
"I'm racing," he answered. "My car."
It took a moment for Lance to process this, and then he blinked. "You're what?!"
"I did it for the cash, but I actually enjoy it," he went on hurriedly.
"Luke, do you know how insane that is? You're 19..."
"I know. I'm really good at it, though. I don't want to stop."
Lance saw Rita was hovering on the stairs and listening. He felt mad. "Did you take Rita with you?!"
"She just watched."
Lance couldn't be sure if this was a lie or not. He shot a look at Rita, who came into view now. "Don't you ever get in that car with him when he's racing, Rita."
"I won't."
"Go to bed," he ordered, and Rita disappeared again. He faced Luke once more. "And you, stop it. I promised your mother I'd look after you not let you kill yourself being reckless."
"I've made five grand in the last couple of months," Luke answered, and Lance closed his mouth.
"You what?"
"I'm good at it, and people bet big when I'm racing. I don't want to stop."
"Five grand," Lance echoed, his brain spinning. "Damn..."
"I just wanted you to know because you've done so much for me, and you're like a father to me," Luke went on. Lance blinked again. This was new.
"I see..."
"I'll be safe about it...as best as I can be."
"Alright."
Luke slid over some cash now. "This is to help fix the dryer."
Lord knew Lance was getting tired of rigging that damn thing up to work for one more cycle the last few times and then standing there praying it held on as it rattled and shook and banged about. He reached to take it slowly.
"You sure?"
"Yea. It's only fair."
"Alright."
"Goodnight," Luke said now, getting up and going to his room. Copper trotted after him, coming from wherever he'd been napping. Lance started to chuckle to himself once he was alone. The kid had stones, that was for sure. He pocketed the money. Maybe he should look into this racing business...
"Nah," he said out loud with another scoff. Then he went back to his card game, epically losing once again.
1996—August
Luke was breaking a sweat as he sparred with Lance. They did this about once a week just to keep Luke on par with his blocks and blows. Lance was definitely not one to hold back by any means.
"Ah," Luke said, his face stinging after Lance slapped him to show he'd left his face unguarded.
"You're distracted," Lance commented. "You gotta focus."
"Sorry."
He was distracted. He'd accidentally seen Rita standing in the bathroom with her plaid short sleeved shirt unbuttoned and revealing a lacy looking bra that matched her lacy underwear, which was all she'd been in. Her hair had been down and tumbled around her shoulders, her mother's locket nestled on her chest. For whatever reason, her eyes had been closed. She hadn't known he'd seen her, and he was keeping it that way, but the scene kept making him think things he shouldn't.
Let it go, let it go, let it go, he mentally told himself over and over. He had to let it go. Rita was never going to be his. He was never going to be hers. He had to stop feeling things for her. He had to stop loving her.
He dodged a cuff from Lance, and they were off again. After another thirty minutes, they stopped. Rita was going to be home from work soon, and Luke knew that Lance never wanted her to see him involved in any training.
"I promised Lucy I'd pick up Keira from her play date," Lance said as he wiped himself down and took a big swig of water. "I'll be back in an hour."
"Okay."
Lance left, and Luke took some breaths while dousing himself with water over his head. He gave a shake and wiped the water off his face with his fingers. Then he decided he was going to do some rock climbing, just to stay busy. He saw Rita getting dropped off by Bridget's mother a few minutes later.
...
Rita walked out of the house after changing from work to see Luke climbing the rock wall without any harness. She stopped in her tracks, her heart leaping straight into her mouth. She was about to yell at him when she realized that might startle him, and if she startled him, he might fall and die.
She did not want that.
Instead, she watched, almost horrified, as he casually climbed to the top and then sat down to look at the view. That's when he looked at her and waved.
"Are you insane?!" she shouted.
"What?!" he yelled back. She took her finger and pointed at him before she made the gesture for crazy next to her head. He just laughed. She walked towards the rock wall as he disappeared to walk the trail down. In less than five minutes, he was on the ground next to her.
"You're nuts," Rita said, "Absolutely bonkers. What if you had fallen?!"
"Then we wouldn't be having this conversation."
"Luke!"
"Easy," he said, holding his hands up. "I did it because I can."
"It's dangerous!"
"Life is dangerous, Rita," he retorted. "I'm not gonna hide from it."
"It's dangerous, yea, but you don't go intentionally looking for danger!" Rita exclaimed. "This is worse than racing!"
"You're just jealous because you wanna do it," he commented with a small smirk on his lips. "Right?" She opened and closed her mouth. He waited.
"I want to climb, but I don't want to do it freestyle," she finally answered. She'd never been brave enough to do it before despite thinking it would be fun to do.
"Then I'll get the equipment," he said.
"Right now?!"
"You got anything better to do?"
"Not really..."
"Then stay put." He went to the shed, and Rita felt a nervous type of excitement suddenly. She was going to do something exhilarating. That was always fun. She could see Willow and Hank watching with mild interest from their pen. Luke returned with a bunch of stuff, and she watched him set it up at the top of the wall. By the time he was done, she was bouncing around, unable to contain herself.
"Alright, alright," he said, laughing, as he reached to calm her down and hook her up.
"What's that for?" she asked, gesturing to the bag of chalk he was attaching to her waist.
"Dries up your hands so the sweat doesn't make you lose your grip," he answered.
"Ohhhh."
"I've got you," he promised, showing her where the cable was attached at the top. "If you fall, you're not gonna hit the ground."
"You're strong enough to hold me up?" she asked. In return, without warning, he picked her up by the waist like she weighed nothing and lifted her up high. The sudden motion made her dizzy and flushed inside. She grabbed his shoulders out of instinct, noticing that he wasn't straining from the effort of holding her at all.
"Does that instill more confidence in me?" he asked.
"Uh huh," she answered, hoping he couldn't feel her hands trembling.
"Good," he said, bringing her back down. When she was on her feet, she still held onto his shoulders to prevent from falling over. She noticed him looking at her, and she wondered what would happen if she was bold and just kissed him right now.
"Come on," he urged after a moment. "Let's get you hooked up."
"Okay."
She stood still as he got her harnessed and hooked to the rope. She felt scared suddenly and grabbed his hand before he could step back.
"You promise I'll be okay?" she asked.
"I promise," he said. She held on a beat longer, squeezing tightly until she forced herself to let go. He showed her where to start on the rock wall, and she covered her sweaty hands in chalk. She was ready to go.
Luke walked over to the rope and got into position.
"You good?" he called.
"Yea!"
Rita started to climb slowly, feeling more confident the farther she went. It was harder than she thought, pulling up her weight, but she found herself enjoying the burn in her limbs. She knew she'd pay for it later. She was halfway up the rock wall when her arms didn't seem to want to pull her up anymore. She rested, holding onto the small tree that was growing out of the rocks, her other fingers holding onto a ledge.
"You okay?" Luke called up to her.
"I'm good! Just tired!" she called down.
"You wanna come down?"
Rita looked up and saw the top egging her on. She hardened her resolve.
"Not yet!"
"I think you should take it easy..." Luke started, but she ignored him and started to climb again. Another three feet up and she was starting to feel like she could actually make it.
Then her foot slipped, and she lost her grip.
With a shriek, she felt herself drop half a foot before the rope jerked her up, and she moved out before swinging back in and banged into the rock hard. Winded, she reached for something to hold but couldn't find anything.
"You okay?" he asked.
"That hurt," she answered.
"I'm bringing you down."
"Wait, wait, wait," she begged. "I can do it."
"Next time," he promised. Rita sighed heavily and felt slightly annoyed with herself as he started to lower her down. After two feet, she heard a noise, and she looked up to see her rope breaking.
"LUKE!" she screamed.
"Oh, shit." She barely heard him say it, but she could hear the fear in his voice. She screamed again as it let go, and she slid down, catching the small tree with both of her hands to stop herself.
"Oh my God," she whimpered over and over. "I'm dead. I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead. I'm deeeaad...so dead."
"Hold on!" Luke yelled up at her. She could hear him swearing down below, and she wondered how the hell he was going to get her down. Her heart was pounding, and she couldn't think straight from the fear. Her arms were screaming at her, already taxed from climbing so much for the first time. If she let go, she was done. She was trying not to cry or freak out, but it was proving difficult.
"Luke," she whimpered, not knowing where he even was after a while.
"I'm right here," he said, next to her. She shrieked at his sudden arrival. Then she noticed he was free climbing again.
"I can't do that," she said, shaking her head.
"All you gotta do is put your hands and feet exactly where I tell you to," he instructed. "Okay? I know you can do that."
"Don't ever indulge in my stupid ideas ever again," she said.
"Don't do that," he ordered. "It wasn't stupid. It's my fault for not seeing that the rope wasn't sound."
"I don't know what happened," she said.
"I'll figure it out later. For right now, just do what I tell you."
"Okay." Rita took some breaths and worked to calm herself. Panic was not going to help her in this moment, like he'd always told her. She nodded to let Luke know she was ready, and he gave her step by step movements to make. She slowly got closer to the ground with him next to her, and she started to feel okay. With about twelve feet or more left to go before bottom, she reached for what she thought was a solid rock and found it crumbling under her fingers, making her lose her grip on the other crevice she was holding and start to fall backwards.
She couldn't even scream. A type of yelp came out of her mouth, and her brain couldn't keep up with what was happening, but Luke reached to grab her hand and caught her before she fell. The impact of this caused her to slam into the wall again, and she found herself dangling and holding onto his hand. She could hear him grunting with the effort of hanging on to both her and the rock wall with just his fingers.
"Oh, that's still high," she whimpered, making the mistake of looking down. She looked back up and saw Luke mentally calculating his next move.
"Okay," he said. "I have a plan."
"Tell me."
"We're gonna drop to that ledge there and use that tree to keep us on it," he said, gesturing with his chin, and she looked to where he was talking about. The ledge was just wide enough, but it would be a tight fit. The tree was a bit bigger than the one that had saved her life, but it was still growing out of the rock wall, and she felt it would be secure enough for both of them to hang on to.
"Oh, no..." she started.
"We don't have a choice here," he interrupted. "You're just gonna have to trust me, okay?"
Trust. That wasn't easy for Rita to do, but for whatever reason, she did trust Luke. She had since she'd first met him.
"Rita," he said, "do you trust me?"
"Yes," she finally said.
"Alright. First, you're gonna climb onto my back."
"What?!"
"Come on," he said. "It's not that hard." Rita didn't know what to make of this. Climbing onto his back meant touching him, and she was trying to avoid doing too much of that these days. She swallowed.
"Okay," she said again.
"Put your feet in the crevice there," he instructed, and she obeyed. "Now grab that spot there and the other one there." She did both, releasing his hand and causing herself to be spread out. "Pull yourself up." She did, and he secured himself firmly as she managed to get high enough to then loop her arms around his neck. She was feeling more scared by this point.
"You good?" he asked, and she squeezed her legs against his waist harder in response.
"I have to be," she answered.
"Alright. We're gonna drop for a bit, but just trust me. We'll be alright."
Rita wondered if he could feel her heart pounding against his back, and it wasn't all entirely because she thought she was going to die.
"Alright."
"On three," he said.
"Okay."
"One..."
She braced herself because she knew he wasn't going on three.
"Two!" He let go, and she screamed as they fell. Luke's hands slid and scrabbled for a hold as he angled for the tree. He successfully grabbed it, jerking them up before he got his feet on the ledge. Rita could barely breathe, but they were at least only eight feet from the ground now.
"See?" he said, breathing hard. "Still alive."
"What now?" she asked.
"We're gonna readjust you and get you climbing back down solo again. I just need a minute, so you're gonna have to get off me."
"Are you admitting I'm heavy?" she asked.
"No. I'm trying to conserve my energy."
"Nice cover up," she commented, but she slid down to stand on the ledge anyway. She didn't like being on the outside, so without thinking, she moved so that she was in front of Luke. His one hand was over his head holding onto the tree, and his other instinctively went to hold her by the waist securely. Some of their ledge crumbled and fell, so he reacted quickly by pressing himself against her to keep her from falling, and Rita was trying to not think about what her father would say if he saw them right now as she grabbed his hips and successfully managed to not scream.
"Well, at least you got an adventure," he commented, looking at her. "You're always talking about having one." She got lost in his eyes for a moment, realizing just how close they were to another right now.
"Now what?" she asked, her voice barely audible.
"I'm still thinking."
"I don't think I can climb down by myself," she said. He worked his jaw, contemplating their next move. Then he nodded.
"Alright. You just hang onto me, and I'll do the rest," he replied.
"How?"
"Slide your arms up until you're wrapping them around my neck," he said quietly.
"Okay," she whispered. She let go of his hips and slid her arms up slowly until she could hook them around his neck. She felt like she couldn't breathe with her chest pressed against his.
"Legs around my waist," he said next, and she obliged. She noticed him taking a moment, and she really wanted to know what he was thinking. She thought it might be along the lines of what he'd been thinking last time she was hanging onto him like this at the beach.
"I trust you," she said, feeling the urge to say it out loud. He looked at her again.
"I'll never let you down," he promised. She nodded, not knowing what else to do or say. He began his descent, and Rita could feel his arms shaking from the effort. She suddenly felt like they were going to be okay.
Then he lost his grip.
Rita didn't even know how to describe the fall. One minute they were on the wall and the next, they were free falling. Luke didn't let go of her, though, and he tried to grab at the wall on his way down with his free hand to at least slow them down, but he failed. At the last moment, they hit a jut in the rock, which sort of slowed the fall but not entirely. It only succeeded in throwing them outward more into the air. Rita landed on him as he landed on his back with the barest of grunts, and when she saw his eyes weren't open, she panicked.
"Luke!" she shouted, ignoring the pain in her left arm. "LUKE!" She smacked his face frantically, but he didn't wake up. She started to cry, thinking he was dead.
"No," she said, kneeling on either side of him as she sat on his stomach and grabbed his shoulders to shake him. "No! Luke, wake up!" Without even thinking, she bent down and kissed him, grabbing his face with her hand. She kissed him once, twice, with no response.
"Luke, please," she begged. "I need you. Please wake up. Luke, I...I love you."
She didn't know what to do when he suddenly gasped for air and opened his eyes. Out of reflex, his hands reached to grab her waist. She was still holding his shoulders.
"Luke," she said, immensely relieved. "Oh my God. I thought you were dead!"
"Shit," he groaned. "That hurts."
"What hurts?"
"Everything."
Rita knew he had no idea what she'd done, and she felt both disappointed and glad. She was 16. He was 19. Her father would be furious. She'd been afraid he was dead and thought she needed to tell his corpse that she loved him.
There was something really wrong with her.
"Can you get up?" she asked.
"You're sitting on me." His poor attempt at humor, which she wondered how he could even joke right now.
"Sorry," she said, moving. He sat up a little and then groaned again before dropping back down onto his back again.
"Nope," he answered. "That hurts worse."
"What's going on over here?" Lance's voice called, and Rita looked to see her father striding across the lawn quickly towards them.
"I was climbing," Rita answered quickly, "and the rope broke, so Luke came to help me free climb down. Then I fell, and he saved me, but now he's hurt. We fell the last eight feet or so."
Lance didn't seem to have a response to this. He helped Luke up and get to the car. He made Rita go too since she was wincing in pain. He set them up in the backseat, and Rita reached to hold Luke's hand as he groaned with each bump on the drive to the hospital.
She got diagnosed with a slight crack in her arm, and Luke was diagnosed with a mild concussion and a cracked rib. Considering they both could have died, she thought that wasn't too bad.
She found her father looking at the rope when they were back home. Luke was resting with a regime of being woken every hour all night. Rita stood beside her father and looked at the rope too. Rita didn't like the look on his face. What was he thinking? She felt a bit worried.
"It looked fine when Luke set it up..."
"Probably just a manufacturing error," he said finally, and she breathed a bit easier. Those things did happen. She was sure of it.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have done it."
"If this had been sound, you would have been fine," Lance insisted. "Don't worry about it. Just make sure you check any equipment before use from now on."
"I will, but Luke did, though. I'm sure of it."
He didn't say anything, just twisted his lips slightly. Then he went to put everything away, and she went inside. She looked at Luke on the couch and flushed at the memory of kissing him. She knew he had no idea, and she probably wasn't going to tell him about it ever to avoid rejection or making things awkward, but when he smiled at her, her heart melted. It had been amazing, even if it had been one sided. She could only imagine what it'd be like to have him kiss her back.
"You good?" he asked.
"Yea. You?"
"Of course," he replied. "I've got nine lives, you know."
She laughed a little and went to her room to lie down. It had been a very emotional day after all.
...
Lance looked at Luke, who appeared concerned.
"You checked it?" he asked.
"Of course," Luke answered. "It was fine."
"You sure?"
"Positive. Something happened to that rope while in use," Luke insisted. They both held each other's gaze.
"Well," Lance said now. "If that's the case, then we need to be a bit more on alert."
"I will be," Luke promised. Lance took in some breaths. Could it be that Zeke had found him? Was he going to torture Lance by killing his daughter? He didn't like the thought, and he certainly hoped it was not the case.
He tossed and turned all night, having nightmare after nightmare until dawn finally came.
...
Simon felt angry. He'd waited for the right moment and shot that rope from his roost far away with his silenced rifle, unfortunately only nicking it but doing enough damage to make the rope come undone itself after, but it hadn't worked. He was grinding his teeth as he paced his hotel room. Colter didn't know he was there, which was fine. He was supposed to just be doing a check in, but he couldn't help himself in that he'd wanted to see Rita fall to her death. He knew Lance would be on alert now, which was unfortunate. He'd have to try again later. He was sick of watching them all live their lives happy and carefree. He wanted to cause them pain in misery. All in good time, he was told. It wasn't soon enough, though, but he had to deal with it.
He went out, looking for some company. It was the only thing that eased his stress these days; it would have to do.
1996—December
Winter was headstrong, and people were spending more time indoors, which made the library busier. Rita was working most Saturdays, like today, but she was happy to be there. The year had been going okay so far, and Trevor was keeping his end of the deal very well, which was a relief. He had a new target to pick on, thankfully, which took all of his attention. Bridget was dating someone new and making less time for Rita, which was fine. Rita wasn't sure if their friendship was going to survive the long run anyway. It really never had been the same after that fateful party.
Rita was putting books away when she was approached for help by a mother, so she was now sitting with a little girl while the mother went to change the baby.
"Can you read to me?" the girl asked hopefully.
"I sure can," Rita answered. She was surprised when the girl climbed into her lap as though she'd known Rita her whole life. It was kind of sweet, and Rita felt a pang inside for some reason. She shook it off as she opened a book and got the girl to read along with her.
"Thank you so much," the mother said, returning with the baby. "I really appreciate it."
"No problem," Rita said. The little girl was off her lap now and taking her mother's hand. She had the book Rita was reading and wanted to check it out. Rita waved goodbye to her and sat there for a moment until Luke suddenly appearing from behind a shelf gave her a scare.
"Are you trying to kill me?" she asked, feeling her heart race. It always raced when he was around. Ever since she'd kissed him when he had been passed out, she had driven herself crazy with thinking she should tell him she'd done it. She didn't know how he'd take it, though. He'd distanced from her a bit lately, and she wasn't sure what to make of it. Had he stopped having feelings? Had he ever had feelings to start with? Had she just imagined it all?
"Sorry," he said. "To be fair, I was here first." She rolled her eyes and got to her feet, dusting herself off.
"I'm just wrapping up," she told him. "I'll be done in fifteen minutes."
"Alright."
She watched him wander around with his hands in his pockets as she started her final rounds for the day. After five minutes, she noticed him talking to a girl. Her hand faltered as she slid the misplaced book she'd found back onto the shelf. Who was this girl? Why was she touching Luke's arm so much? Rita felt her heart sink. When Luke laughed in that way she loved so much, she knew this girl was trouble. He didn't laugh like that very often around strangers.
Rita finished up and slung her bag over her shoulder before going to find him.
"I'm ready," she said to him, catching his attention.
"I'll meet you at the car," he said back, tossing her the keys. She caught them and tried to comprehend what was happening here in this moment. This new girl had nothing but eyes for Luke, and it seemed Luke was captivated by it.
"I think it's cute that you think the car will still be there by the time you get out," Rita retorted, feeling angry suddenly. She turned to leave and noticed he didn't follow or comment. She got out to the car and climbed into the driver's seat, slamming the door hard behind her. She tossed her bag into the back seat and cranked the engine to life. She was getting ready to put it in drive when the door opened and Luke's hand smacked hers off of the wheel.
"Nice try," he said, reaching to unbuckle her. His being so close to her made her ache inside.
"What? You didn't feel like walking home?" she asked, jutting her chin out. He grabbed it and gave it a little shake, and she smacked his hand away, but his touch still made her feel on fire all the same.
"Slide over," he ordered, and she had to obey. She was still steaming when he got in and started to drive. She was trying not to think about the other girl. Well, she was a young adult really. She looked to be Luke's age.
"What's with you?" he asked after her stony silence continued.
"Nothing," she answered back curtly.
"Is it that time again already?" he inquired, lifting a brow. Rita really hated it that he knew her damn cycle.
"No," she snarked.
"You sure?"
"Shut up, Luke."
"Okay," he said. "Now I know you're pissed at me. What did I do?"
"Nothing. It's got nothing to do with you," she lied, looking out the window as he looked at her. She was pretty confident he'd figure it out soon enough. He was a smart guy.
"Okay," he said again, softer this time. She felt the tears welling up. She hated that she was in love with someone who couldn't love her back. It was the worst kind of torture in her mind.
They got home, and she didn't say another word as she walked to the house.
...
Luke knew. He wasn't a stupid guy after all. He'd seen her face after seeing him talking to Lisa. He let her go inside alone, sighing and rubbing the back of his head as he thought about it. Lisa had taken him by surprise. She was cute. She was funny. She obviously liked him. It wasn't like he hadn't had girls like him. It was just that not a single one of them (outside of Mel) had been genuine.
Lisa had been very genuine.
He was throwing a stick for Copper when Rita came out and jumped up onto Willow's back. He watched her go off onto a trail, and he just knew that she was feeling disappointed. He wished he could tell her that he was struggling with feelings for her, that he wanted to love her freely but couldn't because it went against Lance's rule, and Luke didn't want to get kicked out because he wanted to be around Rita. He'd pushed his feelings aside for the last few months, and for some reason, Lisa made him feel curious as to where that could go if they stayed in touch. He didn't know why, but he couldn't have Rita, so he thought maybe he'd try with someone else to see if he could truly leave Rita in the past.
It was such a hard place to be in.
Ecuador
The words were in Jess's head on replay as she walked through the brush towards her foster brother's house. She'd lost touch with Gord after Brendan, but she always knew where he was. She regretted not coming to see him sooner.
She couldn't stop thinking about what she'd been told the other day, and it was making her want to cry.
"You have a very aggressive cancer, Jess. The treatment didn't work, and I'm afraid there's nothing else we can do. You'll have six months, maybe a little longer, but that's it. I'm so sorry," her doctor had said. Jess had sat there feeling gutted. She'd numbly wandered around for a bit before going to Zeke, and that's when he officially retired her and told her to go live out her days somewhere nice.
So, here she was...somewhere nice.
"Jess?" Gord said, surprised, as he saw her after opening the door.
"Hey," she said weakly, and he instantly looked concerned.
"What's wrong?"
She bit her lip for a moment, but then she decided to come clean. She took in a shaky breath and gave a little smile.
"I'm dying, Gordie. Cancer."
He swore softly before pulling her into his arms to hug her tightly. She broke down, heaving big sobs against him. Out of all the things in this world to take her out, she'd never expected cancer. She'd rather go down in a hail of bullets.
"Come on," he said, bringing her inside. "You can stay here. I insist."
"Thank you."
He took her bag and ushered her to the couch. He put her bag in the guest room before coming back to sit next to her, reaching to take her hand again.
"Tell me everything, Jessie," he said, the only other person besides Brendan who could get away calling her that. "I'm listening."
And she did.