Chapter 11.

Callie

The next morning, Stef asked me if I wanted to stay home from school after all I'd been through the day before, but I told her no. I had to be doing something to take my mind off my problems. I had to keep my mind busy so I wouldn't have too much time to think.

When I came in the door after school, Sophia was laying on the couch, watching TV and drinking a Sprite. "Hi, baby," I said, sitting on the arm of the couch. "What did the doctor say?"

"Double ear infection," she told me. Her cheeks were pink and she was covered in a soft blanket. A bottle of ear drops sat on the coffee table next to an untouched plate of crackers.

"Well, I hope you feel better soon," I told her. I leaned down and kissed her warm forehead. "I love you," I said, smoothing back her hair. She was so cute and sweet. I loved her more than anyone in the world. I didn't ever want to imagine my life without her. How long would it be before I'd have to?

She smiled a little. "I love you too, sissy."

Tears stung my eyes, and I turned my head away. "I've got homework," I told her, before hurrying upstairs.

When I got to my room, I flopped down on my bed, facing the wall, and let myself cry as quietly as I could. I wished I could take the last twenty-four hours back. I hated not knowing what mine and Sophia's future held. With our secret out in the open, I felt out of control, and it scared the hell out of me. Touching my forefinger to the bridge of my nose, I rubbed it, just like I used to do when I was little.

I didn't hear Stef come into the room; I was too lost in my thoughts, and I jumped a little when I felt her sit down on the edge of the bed. "Love?" she whispered, laying her hand on my back. "I'm sorry I startled you. You okay?"

I swiped my tears away. I'd cried more since coming to this house than I had in years, but I still wasn't comfortable crying in front of other people. To me, it showed weakness, and I couldn't be weak. I needed to be strong for my sister.

I turned my head to glance back at her. She looked down at me, concerned. "I'm worried," I admitted.

The next thing I knew, Stef moved closer to me and took me in her arms, like I was a little kid. It was a little embarrassing, but it was nice. I felt cozy and protected, snuggled between her and the wall. I wouldn't tell her that though. I was still determined not to fall in love with her and her family. A big part of me still didn't believe this was going to last.

"Tell me about it," she offered. "I want to know what you're thinking right now."

I rubbed my nose again, absentmindedly. "I'm thinking that I wish I never told you guys the truth."

Stef nodded knowingly. "I understand that. But I'm glad you did tell us. And I bet a part of you, deep down, is glad too, because what happened has been weighing down on you, and now you've got it off your chest." Cradling my head, she pulled me a little closer. "What else?"

"I'm worried about my sister, that she could go to jail," I told her. "She's all I have, and I don't want to lose her." My nose started to run and I sniffled a little. "And I feel guilty, because she shot Brian to protect me."

Stef held my gaze. "Would you have done the same thing if you were in Sophia's place?" she asked.

"Yes," I said, without giving it a second thought. "I would do anything for Sophia."

She nodded again. "I think I would've done what she did too, if someone were hurting Lena or you kids," she confided. You kids? I wondered if I'd heard her right, and she'd really meant to include me and Sophia, or if she'd just made a mistake. "Did Brian hurt or threaten you other times before that night?" she asked me.

I thought back to the nightmarish months we'd spent with Brian, and nodded. "He wasn't that bad until his wife left him," I told her. "Right after that, he started hitting us and calling us names."

"I want to hear about it," Stef told me. Her voice was gentle, not pushy. "I want you to tell me everything, honey. Please?"

I took a shuddering breath, once again struck with the realization that I had nothing left to lose. So what did I have to hide? "Can it be just between you and me?"

"Of course it can," she promised. "I'd never tell anyone anything we talk about unless you wanted me to. You can trust me, honey."

I shifted a little in her arms. "The first time he hit one of us was the night his wife moved out," I said slowly, cautiously. "He found Sophia playing with his wife's jewelry, and he slapped her so hard, he almost knocked her off the chair." I remembered her sitting at our foster mother's dressing table, still wearing a strand of beads and one clip-on earring. She'd just sat there crying, too shocked to do anything, while a red hand print formed on her cheek.

Stef cringed while she listened to me talk."Go on, baby."

"He started beating us all the time after that," I admitted. "Mostly me." My tongue felt thick, and my voice didn't sound like my own. "He used to hit is wife, but after she left, he kind of centered it all on us. He had a gun. The one Sophia shot him with. He'd take it out and clean it in front of her, even though he knew it scared her. He thought it was funny. He used to point the gun at us and threaten to kill us when he was mad. He made us too scared to tell anyone what was going on."

I rested my cheek against Stef's chest. I knew Brian couldn't hurt me anymore, but I still felt scared, thinking about the past. I'd tried to repress these memories, hoping to block them out of my mind forever, and now they were all coming back.

"You said he sexually abused you?" she asked me, lowering her voice.

I nodded, closing my eyes for a moment. "When he was drunk, he would come into my room and touch me at night," I explained. Most of the time, I'd pretended to be asleep while he molested me, even though I was very much awake. I didn't know what else to do but lay there with my eyes squeezed shut. If I stopped him, I knew he would start going after Sophia instead of me. And I'd rather it have been me than her. I didn't tell Stef this, though. I was too ashamed, like maybe she'd think I'd wanted it to happen, because I let him do it. After hearing Brian call me 'slut' and 'whore' practically every day, part of me had started to believe him. I didn't want Stef to think those things of me, too. Even though I didn't want to love her, I still wanted her to like me.

"You and your sister didn't deserve any of that," she said firmly. "You know that, right?"

"I guess so," I shrugged. I looked up at her and frowned. "You mean you actually believe me?"

She nodded her head. "Yes, I believe you, love." She leaned in and kissed the side of my head. "And I want you to try not to worry, okay? We're going to take this one day at a time."

"Okay," I mumbled. After that, we just lay there for a few moments without speaking. The room was silent, except for the whispering sound of Stef's fingers rubbing my arm. Tears trickled down my cheeks and dotted her shirt. My throat felt dry, and I swallowed hard. "Do the other kids know?"

"Know what, baby?" she asked.

"About what happened," I said softly, looking away. "What we did."

"We haven't told them anything," she replied. "We wanted to respect your privacy."

"You should tell them," I told her. "They should know."

Stef

"Why do we even have to tell anyone what really happened?" Lena asked me from across the kitchen table, where we were talking quietly while dinner cooked. "If it was ruled an accident, can't we just consider it over and done?"

"I just don't know," I sighed, rubbing my temples. "Believe me, I don't want to put the girls through more than they've already been through. But we're mandated reporters, Lena. If the truth ever does get out, we could get in a lot of trouble and the girls could too. We have our careers to think about; our kids." I was in a difficult position, torn between practicality and my desire to protect our foster daughters.

"Could Sophia really get sent to jail?" Lena questioned. "Would a judge really do that?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. But my gut tells me no. She's just a child, and she did what she did in self-defense. Of course, we'd have to have proof." I sighed. "Whatever we do, we don't have to decide right now."

"This is all so complicated," Lena mussed, pulling her fingers through her curls.

I nodded. "But Callie and Sophia are worth it." I stood up. "In the meantime, Callie wants the kids to know what happened. Just the basics. I don't think they need to know any more than that."

My wife nodded. "No time like the present. Sophia's asleep and Callie's upstairs."

We found the kids in the living room. Brandon was sprawled on the couch, reading Animal Farm for English class. I sat down beside him, patting his legs. "Hey, buddy."

"Mom?" he said, glancing up from the pages.

"Why don't you set your book down for a minute?" I asked him. I looked over at the twins. Jesus was teaching Mariana how to play some video game. "Can you guys come over here too? Mama and I need to talk to you about something pretty serious, so we need your attention."

Lena came and sat down beside me, and Jesus paused his game. "What's wrong?" he asked, watching us with curiosity.

My fingers found my temples again and I took a deep breath. "We learned something very sad about Callie and Sophia yesterday," I told them. "And we have Callie's permission to share it with you."

The kids waited for me to continue, so I did, unsure of how to begin. "You see, in the girls' last home," I said, "they lived with an unfit foster father. He abused them physically, sexually, and emotionally. Just before they came here, Callie caught the foster father molesting Sophia. When she tried to get him away from her, he came after her and started beating her. He broke the phone, so Sophia couldn't call the police, and he threatened them. Sophia was scared and she didn't know what else to do, so she took his gun, and she shot and killed him."

The story finished, I watched my kids, gauging their reactions, which ranged from shock to sadness. "I knew there was something weird about them," Mariana piped up.

I gave her a warning look. "I didn't mean weird like weird," she clarified. "Just... different." She studied Lena and I questioningly. "Are you still gonna let them live here?"

"Of course we are," Lena nodded. "Honey, they're not dangerous. We would never let them stay if we thought they were."

"Mama's right," I agreed. "They need our help, and we're going to help them however we can."

"What can we do?" Brandon asked, turning to me.

"You can just be supportive," I offered. "Include them in things, make them feel welcome. I know you can all do that. And I'd appreciate if you kept what I just told you to yourselves. It's not gossip, and they don't want a lot of people to know."

"It's kind of scary, though," Mariana fretted, shuddering. "I mean, she actually killed someone."

"I'm sure Sophia doesn't feel good about what she did," Lena said softly. "Sometimes though, in desperate times, you have to do what you have to do."

Callie

After dinner, Sophia felt well enough to get out of bed and play with her Barbies. I watched her from my bed as she took them out and carefully brushed their hair. Then, she replaced them in the house, in different positions. She was rearranging the little living room when someone knocked on our door. "It's open," I called.

The door creaked open and Mariana peeked in. "Can I come in?"

I went to sit down on the floor beside my sister. "I guess so," I said cautiously. I still didn't know what to expect from our foster sister.

She sat down on Sophia's bed and folded her legs up. "So, mom told us what happened in your last home."

I nodded, and Sophia watched her nervously, gripping her doll's hairbrush so tightly in her hand that her knuckles turned white.

"I'm really sorry for how I've treated you guys," she said quietly.

"We don't want pity," I told her flat-out.

"No," she said apologetically. "I know. I've just... I've been a bitch. And I'm really sorry. I know what it's like to be a foster kid. I should have been nicer to you."

"Oh," I said, surprised by her sincerity. "Well, thanks."

She turned to Sophia. "Can I play?"

My sister nodded. "Sure."

Mariana moved to the floor and picked up a doll with a tan and dark brown hair. She was dressed in a bright bikini. "She was always my favorite," she told us. "Her hair changes color when you get it wet. Or it least it used to." She set the doll down, a sad look on her face. "My birth mom was -is- a drug addict," she confided. "She abandoned me and Jesus on Christmas day."

"I'm sorry," I said, and I truly meant it. Sophia and I didn't have it easy now, but we were lucky to have had a mother who loved and cared for us, even if it was just for a little while. She would have never left us if she hadn't died. Mariana's mom chose to leave her. It struck me how much that must hurt. Tentatively, I reached out and put my hand on her shoulder. She cupped her hand over mine and smiled.

"Anyway," she said. "How I've been acting hasn't really been about you guys. Not completely. I've been seeing my birth mom again, so I guess I've been kind of distracted lately."

"You have?" I asked her. This confession surprised me. Stef and Lena were great moms, and I couldn't imagine wanting anything more than them. "Do your moms know?"

"No!" she said, her dark eyes widening with panic. "No one does. Not even Jesus. Please don't say anything to anyone, okay?"

"Okay," I promised, holding my hands up. "Your secret is safe with us." I knew what it was like to have a secret, but even so, I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling Mariana's confession gave me.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm going to tell them eventually. I'm just waiting for the right time."

"Okay," I said, giving her a warning look. "But just... be careful."

To Be Continued