Chapter 12.
Stef
"What are you doing?" I asked Lena with a yawn. The day had been exhausting, processing the news, trying to decide how to deal with it. And as much as I just wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep, I knew that in a few hours, I'd have to get out of bed to check on the girls, something I'd been doing since Callie's second night terror.
"Just some research," she said as I climbed into bed. She turned her laptop toward me so I could see the screen. "Counseling for Callie and Sophia."
"They definitely need it," I agreed. "As soon as possible."
"I just can't believe it," Lena mussed. "I mean, I knew something bad happened to them. I just never imagined it was so intense." She lowered her voice. "If I didn't know better, I would never have have guessed it was Sophia who did what she did. I would have guessed Callie." She closed the laptop and set it aside. "She's so protective of her sister and so guarded. Sophia doesn't seem like she has it in her to do something like that."
"I don't know," I said softly. "But I do know that Sophia loves Callie. She felt the need to protect her, and she did." It was remarkable to me that Callie, who was so guarded and detached, had managed to raise Sophia to be the lovable, sensitive girl she is. On the other hand, I'd seen Callie's sweet and loving side too. It was just in hiding most of the time, like she'd built a wall around herself.
I thought back to when The Hunger Games first started getting popular. Mariana had read it, then begged Lena and I to read it, too. Callie and Sophia's relationship reminded me so much of Katniss and Prim's. Callie knew that she and her sister lived in a cruel and unfair world, but no matter what it took, she unselfishly made sure Sophia had as normal a life as possible, even if it cost her her own childhood.
Tears filled my eyes as I thought about all this, but my thoughts were interrupted by Sophia calling us from across the hall.
"We're coming, baby," Lena called back.
We could hear Callie sobbing from our doorway. Apparently, Jesus and Mariana had too. They emerged from their rooms confused, and half-asleep. Brandon slept with his earphones in, of course, so the noise didn't bother him.
"It's okay, guys," I assured the twins, as I opened the girls' bedroom door, and Lena and I went inside. Callie was writhing in her bed, crying for help, while Sophia hugged her pillow and wept.
"It's okay, baby doll," Lena said to Sophia. She went to her bed and took the her in her arms. She kissed and cuddled her, trying to sooth her.
"What's wrong with her, mom?" Jesus asked me, unable to tear his eyes from his foster sister. Mariana looked scared out of her mind.
I went to them and put my hands on each of their shoulders. "Please, guys," I said quietly. "Go back to bed. We'll talk about this another time." I kissed each of their cheeks, then nudged them toward the doorway. I knew they were curious, but I couldn't exploit Callie by allowing an audience in her room.
Once they were in their respective rooms, I went back to my foster daughter. "Sweetheart," I said loudly. "It's Stef. Can you wake up?" But she didn't. She seemed more distraught than ever. I watched her tossing and turning. Already tired and emotional, and unable to wake her, I burst into tears.
"Stef," Lena said, giving me a look of concern. "What is it, honey?"
"I just hate seeing her like this, Lena," I sobbed, brushing my hand across my face. Even though I'd only known Callie a short time, she was already my baby.
"Me too," Lena said softly. "But maybe we should just let her come out of it on her own? She usually goes right back to sleep and doesn't remember anything."
"I know," I nodded, looking down at Callie. "I just don't want her to suffer."
"How about I take Sophia to our bed for the rest of the night?" she offered. "She's still sick and she needs her rest. And you can stay here with Callie?"
"Okay," I agreed.
"Come with me, sweetheart," Lena said to Sophia. "Callie will be okay. You and I can go snuggle for a while." Sophia reluctantly let Lena guide her out of the room.
At a loss, I sat beside Callie and took her hand, trying to still her. Lena was probably right that it was best for her to come out of her night terror by herself. She was sensible like that. But I just couldn't do it, in the same way that I couldn't just let Brandon cry it out when he was a baby. I had to pick him up and cuddle him. Once a mama tiger, always a mama tiger.
"Callie," I said. "Can you hear me, love?" I rubbed her arm, tracing the blue veins under her skin. "What you're seeing isn't real, honey. It's just a picture in your head. You're safe in your room, and I'm right here next to you." Leaning down, I took her head between my hands. "You need to wake up for me, baby. Callie, wake up!"
A moment later, she jerked awake, looking up at me through wild, frightened eyes. I knew she probably didn't remember her nightmare, but I was sure that she knew what was going on. She whimpered, and fresh tears filled her eyes and spilled over.
"I know, honey," I sighed. "I know." I laid down next to her and gathered her in my arms. "Don't cry, love."
"I'm sorry, Stef," she sobbed.
"Sorry?" I asked, brushing her damp hair back from her sticky face. "Sorry for what?"
"For waking you up again," she hiccuped. "I didn't mean to."
With a sigh, I looked her in the eye. "Don't feel sorry for one second, Callie." I swiped a tear from her chin with my thumb. "You've seen some scary things, and those things are hard to forget. I don't blame you for having nightmares, so if you need to wake us up at night, you do it."
"Why are you so nice to us?" she asked. "Why do you still like us after we lied to you and everything?"
My heart broke a little as I studied her sad, dark eyes. Her face was tear-stained and serious as she waited for me to answer. "Because Lena and I love you," I told her. "And love is unconditional."
She nodded, just barely, and I pulled her closer and kissed the tip of her nose. "Close your eyes now, honey. I'm right here."
I woke up earlier than usual the next morning, to the smell of bacon cooking. Slipping out of Callie's room, I went downstairs. Lena was at the stove, and the kitchen smelled wonderful. "You're up early," I said, resting my chin on her shoulder.
"I thought the kids would like a real breakfast this morning," she told me, lifting a piece of bacon from the frying pan with a long fork and laying it on a paper towel. "How did you and Callie sleep last night?"
"She actually went down pretty fast," I said. I reached for a piece of bacon, and she playfully slapped my hand.
"We have to do something," she sighed. "We can't wait any longer to get them into therapy. They can't live like this. It's not fair to them."
I nodded in agreement, busying myself with making coffee. "The only problem is, a therapist will have to report what happened to the authorities. But in some ways, I almost think that would be for the best, just to settle the matter so they can move on and get some closure."
"But they're still so scared," Lena fretted, as Mariana came into the room.
She took one look at the bacon and wrinkled her nose. "I can't eat that," she said.
"I don't know what we're going to do with you, Miss Thing," Lena teased. "You won't eat eggs, you won't eat cheese..."
"I'll have a banana," she said, reaching into the fruit bowl.
"How about some toast to go with it?" I offered, wanting her to have more in her stomach than just a banana.
"Thanks, mom," she nodded. She began to peel her banana carefully. "What was wrong with Callie last night?" she asked. "It was like she was possessed."
I sat across from her and took a sip of my coffee. "It's called a night terror," I told her. "She has frightening, intense dreams that are hard to wake up from. And when she does wake up from them, she doesn't remember them. So please, don't mention it to her when she comes downstairs."
"Okay," she agreed. She lowered her head, playing with her banana peel. "I feel sorry for them."
"So do we, sweetheart," I told her. "But we're going to help them get through this."
Callie
After school, Stef and Lena dropped a bombshell on us.
"Did we do something wrong?" Sophia asked, when they came up to our room to talk to us. She moved closer to me, still terrified of getting in trouble in our new home. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, then wrapped my arm around her shoulders.
"No, sweets," Lena said patiently. "We just wanted to discuss something with you." She paused, looking at each of us. "Girls, it's not fair that the two of you have to live with what happened like you have been. We can see how it's weighing down on you. So, we were wondering how you would feel about seeing a therapist?"
"A therapist?" I asked. "We saw one while we were at the group home." She was the one who diagnosed my panic attacks. She said they were triggered by my mother's death. If she only knew.
Stef nodded. "But this will be a little different, honey. I'm guessing you never truly opened up to the person you saw while you were there. Am I right?"
"Yes," I sheepishly admitted, playing with my shoelace.
"The school guidance counselor recommended someone to me," Lena told us. "I talked to her today, and she sounded very nice. The two of you can even see her together. You can talk out your feelings about what happened, and figure out how to move past it."
"We can't lie to you, though," Stef said quietly, taking our hands. "You need to know what to expect. Your therapist will have to report what really happened with Brian. It's the law, and there's no avoiding that. But I don't want either of you to worry about-"
My head jerked up and I pulled my hand away. "How can we not worry?" I asked. I jumped to my feet and gave them a defiant look. "We're not going, and you can't make us."
"No, we can't make you," Stef agreed. "But we really think you should go. It's for your own good, love."
"No!" I shouted, my heart pounding hard in my chest and my ears. I breathed heavily, too upset to see straight. "Ugh! I wish I never told you anything! I knew we shouldn't have trusted you! You're just like everyone else." I turned away and stomped off toward the bathroom, tears blurring my eyes.
"Callie!" Stef called, following me.
"Just leave me alone!" I cried, looking back at her. "I can't believe I trusted you. I'll never tell you anything again!"
To Be Continued