Chapter 20. (warning- this chapter contains some coarse language and descriptions of abuse)

Callie

"That must be him," I said, as the doorbell rang. I'd called Ben the day before, and he agreed to come over the next day. And now, here he was.

"Isn't anyone going to answer?" Mariana asked. She groaned dramatically. "I see I'm gonna have to get it." She went to the door and opened it. Her eyes widened. Ben was still cute, athletic and dark-haired, with lightly tanned skin. When we went to school together, I had a hard time believing a guy like him could truly take an interest in me. But he did. We'd been paired for a science project, and from there, we became a couple. He was one of the only people who talked to me at my last school. I've always had a hard time making friends.

"I'm Mariana," Mariana smiled, flashing him a flirty grin. "You must be Ben." She jutted her hand out to shake his. He shook it politely, smiling back, then looked over her shoulder.

"Callie?"

"Hi," I said, blushing, giving a slight wave. "Come on in." I quickly introduced him to the family. "You already know Sophia. These are my foster moms, Stef and Lena, and their kids, Brandon, Jesus, and Mariana."

"Hey," he said, nodding. "It's great to meet you."

"You too, Ben," said Lena. "Any friend of Callie's is a friend of ours."

"Can we offer you something to drink?" Stef asked him. "How about some iced tea?"

"Sure," he nodded. "That sounds great. Thanks."

Stef winked at me, then went to the kitchen. When she returned with drinks, Ben and I took our glasses and wandered onto the porch. We sat down on the swing, sipping our drinks and rocking back and forth slowly. The chains creaked as the swing went back and forth.

"I'm really glad you came," I said quietly.

"Me too," he nodded. "I can't believe you found my note."

"Actually, Stef did," I told him. "But still, it's pretty cool."

He turned to me slightly, gripping his glass in both hands. "So they treat you okay? Your foster family?"

"Yeah," I nodded, without bothering to hide my smile. "This is definitely the best foster home we've ever had. Stef and Lena are so nice, and Stef is like my best friend." I paused. "I don't want to jinx it, but they're going to adopt us."

"That's awesome," he said. He drained his glass, then set it on the porch. "You seem much happier now than you were before." He gave me a searching look. "Callie, what happened in your last home? I mean, I know bits and pieces..."

"What do you know?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "That your foster dad was shot in the chest and died. The night we sneaked out."

I traced my initials on the condensation on my glass, nervously, before setting it down. "I'm not really allowed to talk about what happened right now." Stef had advised us not to talk to anyone about the case, unless their lawyer was present.

"Why? Is something wrong?"

I shook my head. "There's some things going on. Legal things. Please, just trust me on this."

"Okay," he finally nodded. "I get it. I've just... been worried. That last week you were around, I kind of sensed you pulling away. Then that night, everything seemed good between us. Then, the next day, you disappeared."

I sucked in my breath, my chest tight with nerves. He was right about me pulling away. That last week, things at home had come to a head. Brian was getting drunk every day, taking every little thing out on me and my sister. It was all I could do to take care of Sophia and myself, let alone worry about my love life.

"Look," I said, deciding to come clean. "You deserve an explanation..." I stopped, closing my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again, I forced myself to look him in the eye. "Our foster dad was really mean. He... he hurt me and Sophia." My eyes burned. "We were being abused." I looked away, feeling ashamed, even though I knew in my heart that is wasn't my fault.

Ben reached over and took my hand, and I turned back to him. "I guess I kind of knew something was going on," he told me.

"You did?" I furrowed my brow. "How?"

"Just, little things. The way you acted sometimes, how you always had mysterious bruises, how you never had a real lunch. You always said you were on a diet, even though you were already skinny. I thought you had an eating disorder, to tell you the truth."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

He nodded. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on, Callie? Maybe I could have helped you?"

I picked at a loose thread on my shorts. "It was humiliating, what was happening. Brian made me feel like... nothing. I thought you wouldn't want to be with me if you knew the truth. If you knew I wasn't perfect."

Ben looked down into his lap. "I would've still liked you, Cal. I thought you knew me better than that."

"No, I do," I promised. "It's just... I guess, when someone is always beating you down and telling you you're worthless, it's hard to believe you're worth anything. To anyone." I watched him, chewing my lip. "I'm sorry, Ben. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay," he said. "I'm not mad or anything, now that I know the truth. I'm just glad you were honest with me. And what happened wasn't your fault, you know. It was the people around you's fault."

"What do you mean?"

"It was your foster dad's fault, of course. But also the teachers, the guidance counselor, your social worker. Even me..." he said. "If someone spoke up when they noticed something was off, maybe you would have been safe? But no one did. Everyone ignored it."

"I never thought about it that way," I said quietly.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Cal," he apologized. "You didn't deserve all that crap. You're awesome. And beautiful, and nice, and smart. You deserved better. And it looks like you got it now, right? The Fosters seem like a really nice family."

"They are nice," I nodded. "They're great."

I didn't even see it coming, but while I was lost in thought, Ben leaned in and kissed me, softly. I started to kiss him back, but then pulled away. I was confused. I still liked Ben. He still liked me. And normally, that would have been great. But there was just so much I had to sort out. My mind was already full to bursting, and I didn't know if I could handle any more, between the investigation, our adoption, and other things, like my panic attacks and night terrors. The prospect of a romantic relationship freaked me out when added to everything else.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, blushing. "I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay," I told him. "I promise it's not you. I still really like you, and you've gotten me through so many hard times. But I just have so much going on right now, and it's all kind of scary. I don't know if I need a boyfriend right now. I'm so sorry."

His face was unreadable. But then he looked back up at me. "Well, what about a friend?"

"I like that," I smiled, holding my hand out for him to take. "Friends."

The next day, Stef and Lena decided we needed a distraction, all of us. So, we began working on Sophia's and my room, moving things out, putting painter's tape around the woodwork, and dipping into primer and covering Brandon's green walls.

At bedtime, we realized there was no way we'd be able to sleep in our room that night. "Do you girls mind camping out in the living room?" Lena asked us.

"No," said Sophia.

"No," I said, a panicky feeling rising in my chest.

I'll get some extra pillows and blankets and we'll fix up the couch," Stef smiled.

We said goodnight to Lena, then followed Stef downstairs to the living room.

"Goodnight, princess," Stef said to Sophia, once the couches were made. She hugged and kissed her. "Sweet dreams. I love you."

"I love you too," said Sophia. She pressed a shy kiss to Stef's cheek and our foster mom tucked her in.

Stef tilted her head, watching me quietly. "You okay, babe?" she asked. "You looked worried about something." She sat down next to me and rubbed my back.

I was thinking about the restless nights I'd spent on this couch before; especially the night of Sophia's sleepover. "I'm okay," I said. "It's just that... I don't know. I'm worried that sleeping in a different place will make my night terrors come back. I haven't had one in a while. I don't want to start again." I was finally getting used to this house, my bed, and all the night sounds- the bathroom faucet dripping, Brandon pacing the floors while he worked on his music, the muffled sounds of Stef and Lena talking when they thought we were all asleep. It was all comfortable and familiar to me now. What if even the slightest upheaval messed that up?

Stef gave me a mothering look, and she enfolded me in her arms. "I don't want you to worry, baby," she said. "Mama and I are right upstairs. I'll check on you a few times during the night, too. Okay?"

"Okay," I said. I wished I could ask her to stay with me until I fell asleep, but I was too proud and too shy.

"I love you, slug-a-bug," she said. She kissed me, then tucked me in. "Call us if you need anything. Mama and I won't be mad if you wake us up. Don't even worry about that." She turned to my sister. "That goes for you too, baby doll."

"We will," Sophia told her.

"Goodnight, my loves." She blew us a kiss, then turned off the lamp and disappeared upstairs.

I set my history book down and sighed in frustration. I could hear Brian in the living room, screaming and yelling at no one. He was drunk. I flinched when I heard a beer bottle hit the wall and break. Sophia winced in her bed, pulling the covers around herself tighter. We both knew it was best to just remove ourselves when our foster dad was like this, shutting ourselves in our room and not making a sound.

"It's okay, Sophie Bug," I said softly.

"I'm scared," she sniffled. We heard more glass break.

How was I supposed to get anything done will all the noise? I had an exam the next day. Was it really surprising that I was failing history? "I'll be right back, baby," I told my little sister.

"No," she said, trying to stop me.

"I'll be right back," I insisted, slipping out the bedroom door. I'd just cleaned the living room the day before, and I was pissed to see that it was a mess again. I didn't know why I even tried.

"Brian?"

"What do you want, you little bitch?" he snapped, from where he was slumped on the floor.

"I'm trying to study," I said in as neutral a voice as I could. "Could you please keep it down? I have a big test tomorrow."

"So, you think you can tell me what to do now?" he asked, standing up and coming toward me. I backed away.

"No," I said quickly.

"You think you put this roof over my head, and gave me a place to live, and put food on my table?" He came closer. His breath was sour.

"I didn't say that," I stuttered, thinking that my empty stomach said otherwise.

"Sure sounded like it," he snapped. His face was red with rage. "You should be begging me for forgiveness after I'll I've done for you, you little whore! You're lucky I took your sorry asses in."

"I'm sorry," I said, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"You're sorry?" he sneered. I wiped my tears on my sleeve. "Then clean this shit up." He swept his hand over the wreckage in the living room.

I stood there clueless. "I have to study!" I took a step back. "Gross. Your breath stinks."

"I'll teach you to mouth off to me." Next thing I knew, I felt a sharp blow across my face, and my cheek stung. My hand flew to touch the spot where he had slapped me. "I'm going out," he said. "If I come back to this mess, I'll bust your fucking jaw." He stalked out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Once he was gone, I fell to the floor and cried.

"Sissy?" Sophia was now standing over me. "Did he hurt you?"

I nodded, and she knelt down to hug me. "Why doesn't he die?" I sobbed. "He drives drunk all the time. Why did mom have to die but not him? It isn't fair!"

"Don't cry, Callie," Sophia said, comforting and kissing me as if she were the older sister. "It scares me."

"Go get my history book okay?" I asked. "Read it to me while I'm cleaning."

"Okay," she nodded. She ran into my room, and came back with my book, while I found a garbage bag and started throwing things in.

Sophia read out loud, stumbling over the bigger words, as I cleaned. A framed picture was shattered on the floor, where it had been knocked off the wall. I reached for the broken glass, a little too quickly, and cut my hand. "Son of a bitch."

I carefully picked the picture up. It was a picture of Brian and Laura on their wedding day; it wasn't ruined. I paused. There was something stuck to the back. There must have been another picture hidden behind the first one. I turned it over, and peeled off the second photo, slowly. It was a portrait of a little girl with a blond bowl cut and freckles. Curious, I checked the back for writing. Scrawled across it were the words, Lindsey, Age 2.

I awoke in the middle of the night to Stef's shadowy figure in the dark.

"Stef?" I whispered, glad to see her.

"Callie?" She knelt down beside me. "Did I wake you up, honey?"

"No," I said. "I was having a bad dream."

"Then I'm glad I came down when I did," she told me. She reached out to caress my cheek.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, sitting up a little. "The weird thing is, I remember everything about it. I think- I think I remembered Brian's daughter's name."

"You did?" Stef gasped. "What is it, honey?"

"I- I think it's Lindsey."

To Be Continued- what do you think Lindsey will have to say? Do you think Stef will track her down?