Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any characters associated with it
TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains allusions to sexual assault and the side effects experienced by victims of assault. Please read at your own discretion.
A One Month Bet
The following morning, Sakura felt as though she was waking up from deep, deep sleep, in a world which had somehow changed dramatically during her slumber. Her room in the Kazekage tower looked the same as it had all month, but it felt like she was waking up in some alternate dimension of the reality that she'd been living only hours ago. She put on her usual uniform as she had always done, scribbled a few notes in her mission report logs, and secured her Konoha headband on her hip. It wasn't until she was making her way down the Tower and to the entrance interior that the foggy memories of the night before began to really lock into place, for waiting for her just inside the large, wooden door was Gaara. It'd hadn't been a dream… everything that had happened to them was real—just as real as Gaara standing there in front of her. He was adorning his Kazekage robe in preparation to enter the village on official business, but he'd left the hat behind. Neither one of them spoke, but their locked gaze communicated a secret conversation all their own. Yes, this reality was different from yesterday… but it wasn't the surroundings that had changed. It was them.
Their first objective that morning was caring for Hanae and conducting a poison test, a task which required the use of a particular medicinal herb. It was coincidental that they should have to return to the very greenhouse that they had visited the night before, a task which brought a blush to both their faces when Sakura told Gaara as much. This poison test was not an official practice in Konoha, but Sakura had a plan. Andrographis paniculate, commonly known as Bitter Chiretta, was a seemingly unassuming herb that was commonly used in the creation of some antidotes. Aside from having some antidotal properties itself, the oil derived from the leaves of this little plant had a peculiar quality of turning a shade of carroty-yellow when exposed to some toxins. Sakura recognized it as a helpful tool in classifying poisons from their antidotes in the hospital because the former were often designed to be colorless or even tasteless. It was easy to tell them apart when the antidotes all shown with a light orange hue.
They were lucky that Sunagakure had a healthy growth of Bitter Chiretta in the greenhouses. Gaara was left to deal with the angry groundskeeper ("I tell you Kazekage-sama, these nasty hooligans have no respect for the work we do in these greenhouses. Sneaking in here to do their nasty business! I warned those trespassers I'd be contacting you personally to track them down!") while Sakura busied herself creating a makeshift testing palette. She carefully ground a generous pull of Chiretta leaves, releasing their oils until they formed a thick paste that she spread in small dallops on a scrap of cheese cloth. Massaging the paste into the cloth resulted in a palette of small green-colored stains which—theoretically—might turn yellow if exposed to a poisonous toxin. When her task was complete, they bid the angry keeper a swift farewell, with Gaara promising to increase security around the greenhouses at night.
It was a long-shot to hope this test would work for Hanae's situation. What if the stains didn't change color as she suspected? What if the drug Miekuyu used didn't react to Bitter Chiretta like other poisons did? What if she was overreacting and there was no poison at all…? But Sakura felt she owed it to the young woman to try. Years of Shinobi training had developed in her a strong gut-feeling matrix to tell right from wrong, and something about her interaction with Miekuyu last night definitely felt wrong.
She was glad to have Gaara's support as they traveled the short distance to the Suna hospital. Hanae was easy to find on the first floor, where she had stayed overnight in the short-term ward. She was awake when they arrived and seemed wholly unsure and worried as to her situation. Sakura detailed their experiment as delicately as possible, hoping not to alarm or worry the young woman more than necessary.
"You think I was… poisoned?" Hanae's voice trembled. "But… how did I not even notice?"
"Many poisons are specifically designed not to be noticed. Nothing in this situation is your fault." Sakura assured her. It still feels somewhat like it's really my fault… her inner doubt seeped deep into her chest. A curt nod from Gaara brought her back to the moment, and they proceeded with the drug test. A tiny needle prick was all it took to coax a small vial of blood from Hanae's delicate fingertip. Sakura diluted the thick, sticky redness with water until it shown as a pale pink instead, then carefully dabbled the mixture onto her pre-made Chiretta cloth over one of the plant swatches.
One second…
Two seconds…
Three…
The pasty green swatch on the cloth glistened momentarily from the wetness of the blood-water, but even in the dim window-lighting of the plain room it was obvious to discern the discoloration happening in the paste. Brownish-green had morphed into a pale but clearly visible yellow and Sakura's heart sank.
Just to be sure, Sakura conducted a control test on her own blood. Gaara observed as she barely even flinched at pricking her own finger and repeating the experiment, only to find that her second test did not discolor as the first one had done. The dutiful kunoichi heaved a deep sigh and placed a hand on Hanae's shoulder, all but confirming her worry. The young woman instantly began to cry.
"W-what happened to me? Who was it? W-what did they put in me?" her thin shoulders shivered with the confirmation that she had been violated and mistreated for no discernable reason…Sakura felt her pain deeply and reached forward to comfort her student. Gaara could feel the burning sensation of livid anger tearing at him from the inside. Asano would pay for his actions… Not only had he tried to assault Sakura… he had also brought pain and suffering onto this poor, innocent woman. How many other women had fallen victim to this predator?
"I'm so sorry you had to endure this… the test doesn't tell us what poison it was, only that a drug is present…" Sakura pulled Hanae into a tight embrace.
"B-but its still in me…" Hane scratched frantically at her arms and gripped her stomach as though disgusted by the confines of her own skin. "How l-long will it still be in my b-blood?"
Sakura quieted the young woman's hands and squeezed her tighter as she choked out sobs. "Shh, shh… it's okay. The worst of it has passed, and you're already recovering. The good news is you had a good friend that took care of you last night, and…" Sakura glanced at Gaara, "You have a good Kazekage who did everything he could to protect you."
Hanae glanced two big, wet eyes at her Kazekage, and Gaara knelt by the bedside. Hanae seemed taken aback to suddenly see her leader from this angle, as the Kazekage is usually the commanding presence in a room. But in this moment, Gaara chose to kneel beside her, a show of humility and concern. "Miss Hanae," he said looking up at her with his deep, emerald eyes, "I want you to understand that Suna takes this offense very seriously. We acted immediately to ensure your safety, and we already have a suspect in custody. Please rest assured that we intend to take full action against crimes of this nature so that it will never happen to you, or any other Suna citizen, ever again."
Hanae blushed to be spoken to so directly by the leader of her village, and all she managed was a hiccup and shaky 'thank-you'. Sakura bid her goodbye with a loving hug, and they departed the ward numbly. Sakura was battling a range of emotions- relief at knowing Hanae was okay, disgust at confirming the presence of drugs in her system, rage at Miekuyu for his blatant disregard of her safety and rights… it was a lot to process, but feeling Gaara's comforting presence beside her fostered a sensation of ease within. She was grateful for his company, and Gaara, too, seemed more at ease perusing the hospital with her beside him. He felt an unrelenting urge to find and punish Miekuyu in that very moment, but having Sakura by his side helped to keep him grounded in the moment.
Before leaving the hospital, they took a detour to the long-term ward where Tutsuyo was being monitored. Sakura wanted to check how he was fairing after the previous day's events. The poor young man was bruised and battered all over his body in shades of sickly yellow and purple, but Sakura wasn't as surprised to see that as she was to see Mei Tai sitting by Tutsuyo's beside.
"Sakura-sensei! Kazekage-sama!" the young medic bowed to greet their entrance. Tutsuyo made a pained mumbling sound, and Mei Tai leaned over him excitedly. "Tutsuyo, look who's come to see you!"
Sakura couldn't be sure, but the pink shade brushing Tutsuyo's cheeks didn't look entirely related to his wounds. His eyes glanced bashfully towards Sakura and Gaara, and then back to Mei Tai standing over him.
"Mei Tai—we didn't know you would be here," Sakura admired. Had she been with him since yesterday?
"Well, Sensei, your instructions were to monitor Tutsuyo hourly to manage his healing process. The swelling has been pretty bad, so I volunteered overnight to give him intermittent chakra sessions."
Gaara stepped forward and gave the young medic a commendable nod. "That's beyond the realm of your typical work hours," he noted, remembering Sakura's schedule from their agreement weeks ago. "That's very admirable of you."
Now Mei Tai was the one blushing, and she bowed low to her Kazekage. "It's a medic's duty to ensure the safe recovery of their patient, sir!" she said quickly. "That's the first rule we learned with Sakura-sensei."
A gentle smirk played on Gaara's lips and he eyed Sakura from the side. "Indeed. Your sensei taught you well, but you demonstrated compassion in volunteering your time to stay with your patient. I commend you."
Sakura thought Mei Tai might explode from embarrassment and flattery. Poor Gaara had no idea what effect he had on women, and she worried this one might burst a blood vessel if her face got any redder. She graciously turned the conversation elsewhere. "How about you, Tutsuyo… How are you feeling since yesterday?"
There was a pained-sounding sigh and then: "Never… better."
Sakura held back a grin. He really did remind her of Naruto, in a way. "How about your legs… do you still have feeling in both?"
"…Yes…" The boy groaned. "Don't… flick me… again."
They all shared a gentle laugh, reveling in the knowledge that Tutsuyo would be just fine. Sakura was impressed that Mei Tai had dedicated so much time to caring for him. She would need to revisit her intention to name Mei Tai as the new Chief Medic, but would have to do so at a later time. As she and Gaara left the hospital, their conversation turned back toward the issue of Miekuyu and what they should do with the newfound knowledge that he had—most likely—drugged Hanae's drink. However, their evidence was largely circumstantial, and he would need to stand a trial in front of the Elder Council before he could receive his punishment.
"He'll stand trial with myself and the Elders before a sentence is decided," Gaara said, not even trying to mask his distaste at the idea. He wished he could banish the swine right then. "Luckily, your quick-thinking and development of a reliable poison test will surely help to convince the Elders. After your actions yesterday, they are fully impressed and confident in your expertise as a healer."
Sakura only nodded quietly. She was grateful and flattered at Gaara's confidence in their case against Miekuyu, but until he was officially gone she would continue to feel unease. Gaara chanced the opportunity to lean closer to her, even in the openness of the street. "I promise, Sakura. He will never hurt another woman again. I'll make sure of it."
Sakura released a breathy sigh and offered a sweet, grateful smile to him. Their conversation turned to lighter matters as they made their way back to the Kage tower, and even though they were discussing nothing really important, simply being together felt so much easier than it had before. Gaara loved being able to just talk with Sakura and walk with her through his village. It was comfortable and easy being with her, and rather unexpectedly so. Had they not only days before been intentionally avoiding the other? How swiftly her distaste of him had dissolved, but she acted as casual as ever – like they were longtime friends finally able to enjoy each other's company after a long time separated. Occasionally, whenever they passed through an unoccupied side street, Gaara felt bold enough to reach out and casually brush his hand against hers. Truly it was all he wanted to experience even the tiniest bit of skin-to-skin contact, even if it was limited to a gentle passing graze of their hands as they walked side by side. His long Kazekage robe sleeves would likely hide this small gesture from prying eyes, but to Gaara it was enough to send his heart into his throat, especially when Sakura hooked her pinky finger with his for the briefest moment. Every tiny touch brought back memories of their perfect moments together last night, and Gaara couldn't wait until their next opportunity to be together again. He'd thought about all the new places he wanted to kiss Sakura on her body, new things he wanted to try that had up until this point only occurred in his limited but evocative dreams.
Sakura, too, had a difficult time focusing on work topics when all she could do was remember Gaara's hard, warm body pressing against her. Every street they walked through, eyes followed them—many of them were women's eyes, trailing the figure of the tall, handsome Kazekage as he strode by, blithely unaware of the licentious glances he was receiving. Sakura's Inner self purred contently, knowing in Gaara's attempts at secretive hand-holding meant that he was only thinking about her. That's right ladies, she thought smugly, He's all mine.
They each had to pry themselves away from each other as they rounded on the last busy main way to the Kage tower. Sakura knew Gaara had duties to attend to, and she would need to meet with Temari regarding the Miekuyu situation and send a communication to her students that training would resume tomorrow under new direction. She needed to assign a new chief and help foster the transition process. But maybe, when the workday was done, she and Gaara could revisit what they had started the night before…
Sakura's abdomen tensed deliciously just thinking about it, and it was no surprise that Gaara's thoughts were trailing the same track line. As they entered the tower and made their way towards Gaara's office, he said quietly, "May I see you again tonight?"
Sakura's pulse skipped a beat. This was such a departure from the grumpy, demanding man she'd encountered at the beginning of the month. Shyly biting her lip, she responded, "You know my schedule. I'm sure you can find me when you're done."
Her coy callback to his searching for her last night made the beast inside him growl, but not in a menacing way. Gaara's jaw clicked. "Well perhaps you'll choose to stay close by instead of disappearing into the city?" he teased. Was this what it was to flirt? He didn't really know what he was supposed to say, but there was certainly a difference in her tone and inflection that sent goosebumps down his neck. She really should stop biting her lip that way. It made him want to bite it instead.
"On my honor – I'll be in my room by curfew, sir."
She gave him a playful salute that made heat creep directly up the back of his neck. The animal inside Gaara was suddenly fully alert and awake, clawing hungrily at the insides of his mind:
Her room.
Her bed.
The two of them in true privacy.
The Kazekage sucked in a breath of cool, sharp air to regain his composure. Sakura's mouth turned from a bashful lip-bite to a confident smirk. To the unknowing observer, Gaara's reaction would've been almost negligible—but Sakura knew she'd hit a nerve. She absolutely loved the fact that she could affect him so much.
With a smug sort of shrug, Sakura made to turn away and head off to find Temari. A voice, however, caught both their attentions.
"Gaara!... Sakura…"
It was Kankuro. His usual jovial timbre had been replaced with something more grave, and instantly Gaara and Sakura remembered their positions. Gaara assumed his Kage demeanor immediately.
"What's wrong?"
Kankuro looked uncomfortably between them. "A messenger hawk arrived from Konoha this morning…" He handed Gaara a thick and tightly wound scroll, then glanced apologetically at Sakura. His purple-painted face conveyed real concern. "It was a Red Bird."
Sakura felt an intense heaviness pressing down on her from the very air around them. Red Birds were just hawks that flew faster than others in the aviary, but because of their speed they were often used to convey emergency communications. They wore a red band on their talon to indicate the urgency of the message. The arrival of a Red Bird rarely ever brought good news from a village. Something was wrong.
Gaara motioned quickly for all three of them to transition into his office behind closed doors just in case the scroll contained sensitive information. He crossed swiftly to his desk, removed his gourd, and broke the wax seal on the scroll. To his surprise, a smaller, even more tightly wound scroll dropped onto his desk. It was addressed to Sakura directly.
He handed Sakura the scroll and began to read the message addressed to him. Kankuro and Sakura watched nervously as Gaara's green eyes traced lines across the message written in front of him. It was hard to read expression on Gaara's usually stoic features, but there was a hint of something dreadful hiding in his furrowed brow.
Kankuro shuffled his feet. "What does it say…?"
Gaara glanced up as though realizing Kankuro was even there before his eyes trailed slowly toward Sakura. "Sakura… must return to Konoha. Immediately."
"What?" Sakura gasped. She knew her month was ending, but she still had at least a few more days planned. And even then, the original bet between herself and never had any official clause dictating she had to completely end her arrangement at the end of the month. She thought, considering the advancement of their newly formed relationship, Gaara might arrange for her to stay longer, to keep working with the Medic unit for several more weeks if she wanted to… but now that vision was being stamped out in one tiny little scroll.
Gaara leaned forward, leaning both arms over his desk. He said nothing else. He couldn't bring himself to. Kankuro stepped forward to retrieve the note and read aloud, "Gaara-san – I know Haruno Sakura is under your jurisdiction for a while longer, but I regret to inform you that she is needed urgently back in Konoha. I would not intentionally disrupt her current mission in Suna if this wasn't a matter of great importance, so I trust you will understand. Please alert her to this message and have her make arrangements to return to Konoha as soon as possible. Respectfully – Senju Tsunade, Hokage of Konohagakure."
Gaara did not move except to lock his gaze with Sakura. Her pale green orbs looked panicked, and she quickly fumbled to undo her own scroll. In Tsunade's firm, unmistakable handwriting it read:
Sakura,
We've received intel that a powerful trafficking caravan is going to be passing by our borders any day now. They're a nasty group and I'm expecting a lot of bloodshed. We need our best medical nin on the mission. Tie up any loose ends you have left in Suna and get back here as fast as you can. We can't afford to miss this opportunity.
-Tsunade
Sakura read the note silently again and again. Usually, Tsunade's joking and sarcastic tone could be read through a note, but there was nothing to joke about in this message. This was an urgent mission… Duty called. She had to return to Konoha.
When she finally looked back up, Gaara was no longer facing them. He had his back to Sakura, but Kankuro was watching her expectantly. "Well?" he asked.
Sakura felt numb, as though she was watching herself in Gaara's office, an outside observer to her own torment. "I… have to go back…"
Kankuro laced his hands behind his cap. "Well, yeah but… you've still got work that needs finishing here. You can't just leave the medic team so suddenly, right?"
Kankuro was asking the question, but Sakura spoke directly to Gaara's turned back. "I have to…"
"What, you can't even wait until morning? To even tell the team you're leaving?"
Sakura felt a stinging in her eyes. Why doesn't he look at me…?
"It's my duty to Konoha. I have to return right away."
Sakura paused a moment, hoping that Gaara would look at her, but when he did not, she gave a half-bow to Kankuro and exited the office. So that was it, then… they both knew that this was the eventual result of their relationship. Afterall, Sakura was never expected to stay in Suna indefinitely. She was a ninja of the Hidden Leaf… she always knew she'd be returning to Konoha soon. Even up until a few days ago, she'd been so looking forward to escaping Suna. She missed the trees and the streams and the sounds of birdsong twiddling in the breeze. She missed her friends and her mentors and her Hokage. She even missed the humidity and the sounds of forest critters orchestrating a chorus of sounds every night when she tried to sleep. But… at the same time… she was a different woman now than she had been even yesterday. She felt an attachment not only to Gaara but to Suna itself, and the sudden grief at leaving her new home rocked her. She ambled quickly to her room, letting her feet take her to her destination whilst her mind wandered elsewhere.
This is for the best, she mused. You knew this would eventually happen. What difference does it make to be happening a few days sooner than expected? It wouldn't change the overall result. Honestly, what did you expect, Sakura? That he would beg you stay?
She returned to her room and quickly assembled her gear, not even taking care to pack methodically. Her arms and legs worked robotically, as though she wasn't really in control of them. When her travel sack was finished, she sat at her desk to "tie up" her loose ends, as Tsunade had instructed. Overall, the medic team was largely finished with their training, but she was sad that she wouldn't get a chance to say goodbye to them all. She penned a quick farewell note addressed to the whole team, apologizing for her sudden unexpected departure, and thanking them for their amazing work throughout the month. Additionally, she wrote two identical notes—one addressed to Mei Tai and the other Gaara—that formally announced her recommendation for Mei Tai to fulfill the newly vacant role of Chief Medic, now that Miekuyu was under investigation. Lastly, she wrote a small goodbye note to Temari, knowing her new friend would be taken aback without a proper explanation. Sakura felt fresh tears emerge as she completed that particular note… This was not how I wanted to say goodbye…
With all her ends tied up, there was only one final task that remained. She eyed the dark, silk robe lying on her bed. She had unabashedly slept in it again last night after her time with Gaara, but now looking at it she felt embarrassed all over again. What a silly, stupid notion that she thought she could really have a relationship with the Kazekage. Honestly, what was she thinking? All at once she was her lovesick twelve-year-old self again, pining after someone that she would realistically never be able to have.
She carefully folded the robe into a neat little lump of black silk. It laid there, sad, and small on the bed, when a knock at her door drew her attention. Maybe it was Temari, come to tell her goodbye? Maybe it was Kankuro with another message? Though her mind tried to offer alternative scenarios, her heart knew instead who it really was at her door.
"Gaara."
Deep, black eyes gazed down at her as she slowly slid the door open. Gaara didn't say anything, but Sakura felt his very presence outside her door was communicating far more than words could in that moment. She opened the door wider as an invitation to come in, and he did so, quietly closing the door behind them. Sakura gazed around the room sheepishly, not sure what to say. She'd imagined only moments ago that Gaara may come to visit her in her private quarters, but now they were in very different circumstances.
Clearing her throat, Sakura made awkwardly for the little pile of papers on her desk and tried to hand them off to her counterpart. "These are, uh… my remaining instructions for the medical team, as well as my recommendation for a new chief medical examiner." Gaara eyed the papers silently but said nothing. Sakura bit her lip. "There's also a note for Temari, if you wouldn't mind passing it along."
Gaara nodded, but again he didn't say anything. While his outward demeanor was quiet and still, his insides were screaming at his inaction. What are you doing? Say something to her! they bellowed. But he could not… it had taken every effort in his being to climb the stairs to her room. He already couldn't tell if he was doing the right thing… or the wrong thing… or what result he even sought to accomplish by following her here. He'd just felt so… empty when she left his office. He'd sat for several moments in stunned silence, unable to piece together his sudden shift in reality. Gaara remembered Kankuro trying to talk to him, but he didn't know what his brother said. He only knew he needed to be with Sakura again, even for a moment. He needed to see her, touch her, smell her one more time… but now that she was in front of him, he felt frozen in his own body.
When Gaara didn't reach out to accept the papers, she uncomfortably placed them back on the desk. Sakura couldn't read the torment Gaara was experiencing, and so she again tried to fill the silence. "Um… this is yours…" She crossed beside him to reach the little silk bundle on her bed. Gaara recognized the delicate designs of his nightrobe, the one he'd last seen disappearing off the roof the night they'd had their kissing lesson. When Sakura again tried to hand it to him, he made no move to accept it.
"Keep it."
Sakura's mouth fell slightly agape. It was the first words he'd spoken since saying she needed to leave. His voice sounded different, strained, and deep. She shook her head. "No, I couldn't…" she mumbled, "It's yours and it… it wouldn't be appropriate."
She winced as Gaara's eyes flicked sharply at her last word. Again, he wasn't saying anything, and Sakura nervously began to fumble. "I-I just mean… you're the Kazekage… and I'm a Kunoichi of Konoha… It wouldn't be—"
But Sakura didn't get to finish what she was trying to say. In one fell motion Gaara pulled her into him, silencing her with a kiss that was frantic and aching. He cradled her in his arms as though he felt she might disintegrate as his very touch, and Sakura as well stopped holding back. She entwined her fingers tightly in his deep, red hair, clutching him as close to herself as possible. This time their kiss did not communicate hunger or lust or fervor… this time all they felt between them was a tearing sadness. Gaara did not want to break away from her, as though this kiss was only thing keeping her in Suna… and it was, for just a moment longer. He didn't know how to say what he was feeling with words, but in this moment, he hoped Sakura understood just how much he needed her, how much he wanted her, how much he…
Loved her…
With unsteady, stumbling feet they collided backward into desk nearby. Pens and paper clattered recklessly to the floor as though fleeing the scene of their own accord, while Gaara's body slumped heavily into Sakura's. Her backside rolled backward while her legs wrapped around Gaara's middle, mirroring their compromising position from the greenhouse—except this time it seemed no interruption or disturbance could break this trance. Both parties were lost in each other with a need that was less sensual as it was desperate, desperate to not lose the other. Gaara only broke contact to take rasping, unmeasured breaths as his mouth trailed from Sakura's mouth, down her neck, across her collarbone and across every piece of skin his lips could reach.
With flurried hands, Sakura worked at their clothing. She dragged off his cloak and pulled the thin black shirt over his rippling shoulders, while Gaara's strong fingers gripped and teased at the edges of her own vest until she could hastily unclasp it. She needed to feel him again, feel the heat of bare skin. No barriers, no villages, no titles – just touch.
Touch me, her mind whispered – only she was surprised to hear her own breathy request echo out loud. Gaara, being a dutiful partner, did as he was instructed. The beast inside was raring at Sakura's demand. Calloused fingers scratched across tender, exposed flesh as his hands traveled all across Sakura's now bared bodice, pausing only slightly at the edge of her bandages before pressing up underneath them to reach her bosom. Touch her, she had instructed? Touch her, he would.
Sakura exhaled a throaty gasp as the stretching of her bandages helped to loosen them and they fell away. All he could see now was the top of Gaara's thick red waves as he bent downward to seal his hot mouth over a tender nipple, now bared to the open air once again. She'd thought the thrill of having already experienced it once might have dulled the experience now feeling Gaara touch her in this way, but in fact she felt even more on fire than the night before. Perhaps having gone through these motions once before had gifted them a better level of clarity and boldness, because Gaara was becoming decidedly bolder in his actions now. While his mouth continued to make quick work of her breasts, Gaara allowed his hands to continue roaming and gripping any part of Sakura he could touch. A sharp prick of teeth on her sensitive nipple elicited a tight gasp of pain and shock before Gaara's hot, thick tongue was massaging the ache away.
Feeling Gaara's tongue against her skin only made her imagine other places where would like to feel that tongue, and instantly a familiar, hot wetness began to soak her womanhood. No! No, no, no, no! Sakura tried dazily shaking clarity back into her thoughts. You can't go that fa— "Ah!"
Any thoughts Sakura might've had in that moment were dashed by the sudden reappearance of a deep pressure at her junction. Gaara was once again positioned with his now very obvious erection pressing into her. The young man finally drew himself up to his full height, staring down at a breathless, flushed Sakura. He wanted this image, this moment brazened into his memory forever. The way her petal pink hair laid strewn around her, how her slender torso rose and fell with hasty breaths, how her pink, round breasts glistened with the wetness from his own mouth. How her bright, beautiful eyes followed him and only him as he made any small movement. How her eyelashes fluttered shut and her mouth parted when he rolled his weight towards her. Gaara wanted to feel that heat again—the heat he felt on the roof that night, the heat he felt in the greenhouse last night. He needed to hear Sakura make those wonderful sounds again, to feel her body moving with his again. He felt his very being was electrified by their union in this moment, but he needed something more. He needed Sakura to stay with him. He needed her intelligence and her composure in his medic unit. He needed her humor and strong will to balance his stoicism. He felt he needed this woman to simply exist. He just didn't know how to say it.
Sakura arched her back and let out a soft gasp as Gaara leaned his full weight over, rocking his hips forward as he did so. The usually indifferent, silent man suddenly let out an uncharacteristic grunt as he felt his resolve crumbling. "Sakura—I—"
He rolled his hips a second time, sending shock waves through his body making his head feel light. "I—" he tried again. Why was it so damn hard to form thoughts? He wanted to tell her all of the things he was feeling, but it was all he could manage to choke out:
"I need you."
Green eyes locked with emerald ones. This is dangerous…Sakura's mind warned, but her body was working separately now. They were so close she could only focus on Gaara's eyes inches from her own without her vision beginning to blur. While her chest rose and fell in heavy, shaky breaths, her hands traveled down to the edge of Gaara's waistband. "Are you sure?" she asked quietly.
"Yes."
"This is what you want?"
"Yes."
Not needing any further instruction, Sakura slipped one strong hand into the waiting heat of Gaara's trousers and gripped his manhood firmly, feeling its girth and weight in her own slight fingers. The shock displayed on Gaara's features was akin to that of a man being stabbed, and he slumped towards her unexpectedly. He'd never been touched this way before, but instead of pain of embarrassment he only felt the overwhelming pleasurable sensations rippling through him at even the slightest pressure of her fingers against him. He felt his manhood twitch of its own accord, seeking Sakura's touch as though it was a beast of its own thoughts and needs.
This new rush of adrenaline made Sakura's head fuzzy and her mouth taste sour. She didn't want to look at her own hands as they rapidly untethered the ties of Gaara's waste band. Be it out of shock or shyness of her own actions, she couldn't bring herself to look directly at his erection once it was suddenly freed of its cloth prison and bared proudly to the open air. She couldn't even bring herself to acknowledge her own hands unfastening the buttons of her shorts and slipping them from behind her rump in an awkward and unflattering arrangement. She kept her eyes focused only on Gaara's features, watching every tiny detail of his reaction, up until the very moment the blunt tip of his erection was poised and pointed at the slick entry of her womanhood.
And with only a brief pause while their eyes locked once more, Gaara entered her.
Sakura gasped at the sudden intrusion as Gaara released a sound of unshackled abandon. For so long Gaara had been bound by his very existence, first as a Jinchuriki, then as Kazekage. Never before had he had the true opportunity to be just a man, and man connecting with a woman, connecting with a lover for the first time. He felt Sakura's warmth engulf him, with a heat so strong he felt his whole body was on fire even though the rest of his skin was bare to the open air. For all his tangential knowledge of what sex was or could be like he never imagined it felt like this. For a moment he felt truly lost in the sensation, like he had been drugged by some miracle elixir that had brought him to life from the dead existence he was living before.
Sakura, for her part, focused on observing Gaara's reaction instead of focusing on her own discomfort. Though this was not her first time with a man, it had still been some years since her last encounter. Slick as her natural wetness was, the girth of Gaara's manhood was less than comfortable on first introduction. To distract herself, Sakura focused on Gaara's eyes, which were now closed behind tight black lids, and for the first time in all their encounters up until this point, Sakura felt she was finally witnessing Gaara at his most vulnerable. His mouth was parted slightly with shallow breaths while his nonexistent eyebrows arched upward in an expression of surrender. Sakura was entranced by him. Gently she shifted her hips, watching curiously at Gaara's every small reaction: the goosebumps along his forearms as he shuddered from feeling inside her, the way an innocent, throaty gasp escaped his parted lips, the way the bones of his hips dug into the gentle flesh of her thighs as his length stretched slowly and deeply inside her until she had absorbed all of him up to the hilt.
"Are you okay?" she asked shakily.
Gaara nodded, at least she thought. It might have been a reflexive motion as even the slightest movement sent eruptions and spasms throughout his body. "And you?" he croaked dryly.
Sakura gulped, but her throat was so dry it didn't feel helpful. "I-I'm… uh—" An idiot?! "Fine."
Gaara finally allowed his eyes to slide open. Something in her tone concerned him. Had he made a terrible error? Perhaps she didn't want this?
Sakura and Gaara locked eyes. She nibbled her lip. You're rather past the point of no return, aren't you Haruno? Reflexively, she tensed her inner muscles around him, eliciting another small grunt of pleasure and a pleasing shudder to course through both of them. Gaara was evidently shocked and unaware the female body could do such a thing. A secret smile tugged sadly at the corner of Sakura's mouth, enjoying the control and utter innocence she was able to have with Gaara this one, last time. Enjoy it while you can.
"I'm fine," she repeated again, but this time with more resolve. "I promise."
With legs wrapped around his middle, she squeezed him tighter, allowing his angles to match up to her curves in a slightly more comfortable way. Gaara felt helpless. If any enemy ninja were attack them in this moment, they would find the Kazekage completely and unforgivably compromised. He couldn't so much as even summon chakra right now, as every nerve in his body seemed to have all congregated into one single organ—a hard, hard organ now completely enveloped in the hot, wet sex of a woman. His woman. His Sakura.
Sakura's fingertips felt soft as flower petals as she fluttered them down his abdomen, below his belly button, to rest on the edges of his pelvis. With gentle pressure, she seemed to push him away from her, slowly inch by inch. Gaara felt the chill of wetness being once again exposed to the open air as his length retreated out of it's warm, tight reclusion. Was she telling him to stop? As uneducated as he was on the matter, Gaara briefly wondered if that was it…
Until she stopped, just before the tip of his erection had completely exited. Then with her firm, powerful legs she squeezed him downward again, forcing his full length back into the impossibly hot, delicious tightness again. He audibly gasped, completely overwhelmed by the sheer force of spasms that etched all over his body. It felt so good. Even the squeezing pressure around his member felt so much more alive with the added friction of moving inside Sakura. Ah, he thought. He understood now. He drew back and thrusted again.
Sakura hummed low in her throat, feeling more relaxed as Gaara now took a stronger lead. She felt a different sort of sensation now, coupled with the friction now building as Gaara moved slowly inside her, undulating with a more and more regular rhythm. She watched him as he continued…it felt sort of dirty, leering at man so obviously caught up in his own sensations, but she couldn't help it. Perhaps he didn't know what he was supposed to do, but instincts were guiding him along just fine. His eyes were sealed again behind those dark lids, his face was looked surprisingly slack with his mouth hanging slightly agape as his shallow breaths matched in tandem with his thrusting. The once proud, strong, stoical Kazekage was gone, replaced by this beautiful, emotional, deprived young man. No one had ever seen Gaara in such a state. No one except her.
Seeking a different angle, Sakura pulled her body upward towards more of a seated position so that she was now more eye level with Gaara. Only then did his eyes slowly slide back open. His gaze looked dazed as though he had quite forgotten where they were and what was happening. He looked so very far away that Sakura whispered, "Gaara?"
His eyes seemed to focus clearer on Sakura now, but instead of speaking he quickly drew her into a passionate kiss while continuing to thrust into her. Surprised by his fervor, Sakura released a quiet moan into their kiss, which only drew out more of Gaara's sudden boldness. His hands traveled to grip Sakura's buttocks just as they had the night before, but this time he felt himself pushing into her tight, hot, sex. It felt so amazing he could not have ever fathomed something like it. His thrusting began to fall into a faster pace as he now pulled Sakura to him which each push. Sakura could feel the tiny bundle of nerves just above their junction alighting deliciously with the friction from the new position. The tugging, stretching sensation began to feel more filling, more enjoyable. She let her hands slide across his rippled back, her fingernails scraping little red lines across his skin. It only made him more frenzied, and his pace quickened into jaunty, hurried stabs now and his panting was too much to stay lip locked with Sakura. He was building, she realized. He would soon need to release.
Gaara's head now drooped into the crook if her neck as he tried and failed to maintain any semblance of composure. He was nearly lost to his sensations. Sakura gripped his thick, coarse hair and whispered, "Bed," but when his pace did not slow, she had to place her hands firmly on his hips to still his movement and regain his attention. Gaara finally looked at her again. "Bed," she commanded again. "Now."
Still unable to form his thoughts into words, Gaara only growled a low response and plunged himself deep inside her. Something about the depth and the pressure sent Sakura into pleasurable shivers that left her seeing stars, but she was swiftly brought back to reality as her sense of gravity shifted. She felt the weight of her own body being pulled downward as Gaara now lifted her clear off the desk and quickly repositioned them both on the bed, her back now landing flat against the still messied sheets from that morning. Gaara was now fully above her, lunging deeper into her than their angle had allowed before. Again, and again, and again he pushed—each time pressing closer and closer to that sweet, sweet spot of nerves deep within her abdomen.
Gaara felt like his very consciousness was fading into something else. His brain could barely formulate words. "Sakura—" he panted. "Sakura, it feels—I feel—"
Just hearing her name on his lips pushed her now even closer to that elusive climax more than his physical actions ever could. "I know," Sakura said through clenched teeth, "Don't stop—" She let her hand drift downward to feel their point of connection, to feel the wetness of her own body and the slippery rhythm of his cock pumping in and out of her, to delicately touch the tiny sensitive nub surrounded by pink curls…
Gaara watched unblinkingly as Sakura touched herself, her eyes now closed, sweat shimmering on her pale skin, her teeth making tiny marks in her lip as she bit on to it in concentration. He couldn't now remember what it was to be a man of self-control, to value propriety and expectation above anything else. Now there was only Sakura and him and this incredible, indescribable feeling that so good he felt he might lose his damn mind.
"Sakura—I can't—"
It came without warning. With a sudden jolt, Sakura felt Gaara's body tense. He kept his head ducked low into the pillow behind her shoulder, but he thrust so forcefully into her that the delicious spot inside her now shattered to pieces. She felt her entire inside quivering and shaking while a white, hot light enveloped her senses and she felt deep movement pulsating within her. Gaara moaned into the crook of her shoulder as every muscle in his body seemed jolted with electricity, and his hips continued to rock to a slower, more gentle undulation as together they rode the waves of exhaustion washing over them both.
For just one, perfect moment, they were the two of them as they always should've been. Just a man and woman, connected by body and mind in the hazy aftereffects of a shared climax. The echo of heavy panting was the only sound in the room. Gaara slumped over Sakura, feeling how small her slender frame felt beneath his own.
The fluttery trembling of Sakura's orgasm subsided quickly as reality settled back in like a heavy weight, much like the weight of body now sprawled on top of her. They had come together, but far from feeling romantic about it Sakura was suddenly filled with dread. What have I done?
All the good feelings she'd been feeling moments before were now flitting away as she remembered their circumstances.
I just had sex with the Kazekage…
I have to return to Konoha immediately…
I should've already left by now…
Oh for fuck's sake I just had sex with the Kazekage…
And he came in me…
Oh fucking hell, Sakura!
Gaara, still recovering from the shock and sensations from only a moment before, felt the change in Sakura's body. Whereas a moment ago it felt as if they were one person, moving, breathing, existing as one, she now felt stiff below him. Her beautiful figure was still flushed in color, but there was an airy coolness to the touch of her skin. When he lifted himself off of her, he saw her wince as his now limp manhood slipped out of her and she avoided his gaze. A sudden anxiety overcame him. He had done something wrong… that was his first time with a woman, perhaps he had done something harmful by accident?
"Sakura," he whispered, "Did I… hurt you?"
Despite the dryness in her throat, Sakura tried to swallow down her guilt. She could hear the worry dripping in his words. Here she was damaging the very nature of the alliance between Konoha and Suna, and yet the most powerful of ninja on this side of the continent was only concerned about her. When she finally lifted her eyes to meet his, he looked so much like just a scared child… the fearsome, murderous boy she'd met all those years ago was now softened into a gentle, frightened young man—frightened that he'd hurt her, so unlike the formidable reputation he had built as Kazekage.
"No, no—I'm good." She said quickly. With noticeable effort she made a less than graceful exit from the bed, awkwardly untangling herself from their position. "I just need to uh—go get cleaned up." She gathered her now rumpled pile of clothes and made for the bathroom, leaving Gaara naked and confused on the bed.
She had hoped the closed door would indicate that she needed a moment to her thoughts, but Gaara scarcely gave her that as she soon heard his voice behind the door.
"Is everything alright?"
"Yes!" she called over the warm water now running from the shower.
"I know that… Well, I know that I… ejaculated—"
"Really, it's fine!" she called back. Oh, for Kage's sake. Sakura shuddered while cleaning off the insides of her legs. 'Ejaculate' was such a horrible word. Could he not have said it a different way? It's not like he…
Sakura froze.
Oh hell… Gaara didn't know other ways to say it. How could he be? He'd only had his first kiss a few weeks ago… Sakura slapped a hand to her mouth to stifle what might have been a scream.
I just took the Kazekage's virginity?!
Suddenly Sakura's urgency was that much more hastened. She hurried to redress herself but was still unprepared to open the door, somewhat expecting but still largely surprised to see Gaara standing right there, waiting patiently. Thankfully, he pulled on his pants at least so he wasn't fully exposed, but Sakura still blushed and avoided looking at his bare chest as much as she was able. She tried to utter a hasty 'Excuse me' to make her way around Gaara, but he followed her every step around the room, unable to understand her sudden distance.
"Sakura, I—"
"Really, don't worry yourself over it." She rummaged through her messily packed knapsack to find a small box of capsules. "All Konoha kunoichi are encouraged to carry pregnancy prevention capsules in case of emergency. They contain wild carrot seed, a natural herb. You might have some in your green houses, it might be a worthwhile to discuss this a good idea for your own female nin in the field. Your new medic chief might oversee it? It's very handy in a pinch." She stopped her nervous rambling to quickly pop a capsule and return the box to her bag. Gaara's features gave away little about what he was thinking, but he tried again to speak.
"Sakura,"
"Anyways, don't forget these papers that uh—ahem," Sakura quickly picked up all the papers (a few of them now crumpled by their escapades) and tried to lay them more neatly on the desk once again. "It's important that you deliver my instructions to the new chief quickly so that the rest of the medic team has time to adjust. They should continue working on their chakra control as often as they are able, but I believe many of them should be able to join their usual three-person teams again and start working out in the field more frequently—"
"Sakura."
"As such the new chief will likely be unable to resume working with a small team as responsibilities as chief medic may be too demanding. I recommend that the chief remain stationed at the hospital and continue developing their skills so that they can pass along the teaching to new genin students as they come along to the program. And another consideration: you have a thriving herbal and medicinal garden. I think it would be wise to partner your new chief with some of the green house attendants and work on rebuilding your botanical medicine program. As I recall Suna used to be our leading ally in medicinal botany only a few years ago before Tsunade—"
"Sakura!"
Gaara finally planted himself directly in her path and placed two firm hands on either of Sakura's shoulders. She instantly stilled, but in doing so her resolve began to crack. Sakura's ramblings were the only thing saving her from herself in that moment as a familiar sting began to well as the corner of her eyes. She felt Gaara squeeze her shoulders gently.
"Why are you crying? Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"
Sakura huffed and released herself from his grasp, angrier at her own reaction than anything. "Ugh, I'm fine." She sniffed. "Just stop fussing over me."
Gaara couldn't understand why she was suddenly so dismissive. Only moments ago she seemed an entirely different person. The woman who had she kissed him so passionately, held him so tenderly, physically grabbed his erection and guided it to her—
Gaara shook his head trying to keep it clear in the moment. He was ill practiced with expressing these sort of feelings, but he tried his best. "I'm…worried about you."
Sakura swallowed hard. This is your fault. Subaku no Gaara, the king of the desert, able to conjure literal sandstorms and dissolve explosions with only a modicum of his incredible chakra. This man was a god among normal ninja, and far from being concerned with his own well-being, the safety of his village, the security of his citizens, he was only concerned about her.
Sakura's eyes burned, and finally a few traitorous tears slipped down her cheek. How could you be so selfish, Haruno? Her voice trembled as she muttered, "I just shouldn't have… w-we shouldn't have…"
Gaara's shoulders fell. So that was it.
"We shouldn't have…?" But he couldn't say the rest. He guessed as much from Sakura's sudden shift in behavior, her eagerness to escape him after it was all over. She had physically wanted to wash him off her, run away from him as so many had before. He had not felt this sort of pain in such a long time—he barely knew how to handle it. It was like feeling Shukaku being forcibly torn from his own soul all over again… now that he'd finally felt happiness with Sakura it was being ripped away from him, as happiness always was.
Sakura felt a great pain tear inside her as she watched Gaara slowly back away and turn to face away from her. He could not even look at her anymore, and perhaps that is what she deserved. Yes, she deserved to feel this pain. This guilt. This was her reward for even entertaining such a foolish idea as having feelings for the Kazekage.
"Gaara…What happened, between us. I shouldn't have let it go that far. It was a mistake."
Gaara quickly turned to face her. His face seemed to convey pain and even anger. "A mistake?" Sakura flushed hotly.
"You… you know what I mean," she tried feebly, now feeling so much less certain than she had a moment before. "I should have stopped us before we… got as far as we did…"
"It was not a mistake to me." Gaara whispered tightly.
A crack stabbed its way through Sakura's heart. She felt like vomiting. "I-I'm sorry…"
She wanted to apologize for hurting him. Apologize for overstepping her position. She should never have gone out drinking after hours… She should never have let her guard down… she should never have fallen for Temari's stupid, stupid kissing lesson idea… But she couldn't blame Temari or Kankuro. Every choice she's made so far was her own, and now she would live with the consequences.
Swallowing her guilt, she finally lifted her gaze to him again. "I'm sorry, but I have to leave now."
"Don't…" Gaara's voice was so soft she barely heard him. "Don't leave."
She heaved a shaky sigh. "You know I can't stay… I have a mission."
When she looked to try and meet Gaara's eyes, he avoided hers. His green orbs were fixed hard on a spot somewhere on the floor. Every muscle in his torso appeared tense.
"I mean don't leave me. Come back. After your mission."
A deep, deep cold settled into her chest, choking her from the inside. Why? Why, why did this hurt so much? He wanted her to come back to Suna… but come back for what? What would become of them even if she did come back? How long would she stay then? Another month? Two? Maybe a year? And what good would it do? While they selfishly explore their relationship, the nation of Suna would be compromised because of her insidious infatuation with their Kazekage. And no matter how long she stayed, eventually the end result would always be the same, wouldn't it? Her duty was to Konoha, and to Konoha she would always inevitably return.
Frustrated, Sakura ran her hands through her hair. "Gaara—" she said desperately. "I'm a nin of Konoha. I was always going to return to Konoha eventually, whether it was now or in three days or in three more months." Pain was scratching through her words, but she disguised it with anger. She would rather Gaara think her callous than witness how her heart was breaking in front of him. "We should've known this was never going to work."
Gaara felt panic envelope him. His heart was beating faster and faster, but each beat felt like it was falling deeper and deeper in a cavernous hole. How did I possibly think I could be happy…? He wondered bitterly. Deep down, he knew that Sakura would've left eventually… he had just hoped for a few more precious moments with her before she would be gone. The brief moments they had been together felt like entire lifetimes, and it was the most whole he'd felt in his entire life. He felt his being had a deeper reason for existing now. He lived and breathed for Sakura… and now she didn't even want to be with him. And who knows when they might cross paths again… the next chunin exams? What did it matter… she might as well forget him as soon as she returned to Konoha. She had no obligation to continue entertaining his fantasies now that she was leaving him alone…
Alone…
That's what I'm best at…
With a heavy gulp, Sakura shouldered her rucksack and started toward the door, but Gaara's gentle grasp on her wrist stopped her again.
When she looked back, he was holding out the robe to her. "Keep it." He said again.
"But—"
"Please take it." Gaara's eyes, usually so blank and unreadable, were now pleading. He didn't care if it was inappropriate. This wasn't a Kazekage thing… it wasn't about the relationship between Konoha and Suna… it was about the relationship between Gaara and her. He wanted to know that a piece of him would be staying with her… even if she chose to throw the robe away as soon as she made it beyond the Suna border. He wanted to live in blissful ignorance believing that Sakura still wanted a part of him, instead of leaving all of him behind…
Sakura shakily reached for the robe, feeling at any moment she would dissolve into herself. She felt the ache of heartbreak in her chest, but also so, so many emotions muddled within. Anger at herself for letting things go too far with Gaara, disgust for not maintaining her professionalism on a mission, disappointment in her wild imagination that she thought she stamped out years ago when Sasuke broke her heart… it was too much. She quickly rolled the bundle into a tighter knot before gently stuffing it in her rucksack.
They stared at each other.
Then Sakura turned, walked slowly out the door, and slid the panel closed leaving Gaara standing alone in the empty room.
And that… was the end of it.
Thank you for your support. Reviews are appreciated.
-Olly