Chapter 6 - Correction

Overlander knotted her fuzziest bathrobe tight around herself and padded out of the bathroom. Zienn was sitting at the high counter, juice boxes open before him.

"Getting ready for a meld?" she asked. "Oh, that's right. Spock is coming this evening."

Zienn nodded.

She looked at the clock and slid onto the stool beside him. She tapped her mechanical fingers on the counter. "I wanted to talk to you." She smiled with a dark twist to her lips. "I know. Shouldn't need to, right?"

He turned fully to her, put his hands before himself, fingertips lightly pressed together. "Most thoughts intelligent beings have are too amorphous to interpret. I can gather meaning fully only when you are composing speech, or avoiding speech."

"Oh. Well, I better talk fast then, if I want the chance to say what I need to say."

She looked down at her hands. Her clear plastic arm stuck well out of the heavy robe sleeve. Hollow soft plastic, rigid metal, servo mount points concentrated at the wrist. It always seemed like she was seeing her mechanical arm for the first time all over again.

"I've been thinking for a while that I don't want to give everything up to Starfleet. It's already taken half of me." She looked at her robed knees. She still felt pleasantly steamy inside the terrycloth. "And I like this job. And for some reason, no one really wants to do this job of overseeing refits. It's seen as deeply subsidiary to actually taking the ships out." She exhaled. "But I wouldn't mind just sticking with it. Because no one wants to do it, the average commander doing it has a lot more say." She overlapped the lower part of the robe better, tried to keep the heat in.

"I'm thinking-" She frowned. "I'm not asking for anything long term from you, believe me. But I'm thinking." She looked him up and down, appreciating the material fact of him. "I'm thinking I'd like to have your kid."

Zienn didn't react. He kept considering her, blinking regularly.

She was used to this now. It was actually promising to get from him what might seem to be silent distant consideration. She said, "The odds aren't very high, according to the computer. But Vulcan's are damn reticent about this so there's not data like their should be." She reached for the juice, poured some into his glass and sipped from it. "Because it's so unlikely, I just feel like seeing what happens. I can have a planetside role and have a kid. That was the problem. I had to like this job first. Not feel grounded against my will. Make someone else miserable with me."

Zienn watched her set the glass back down empty. He tilted his head, said, "That plan would be well outside ordinary Vulcan traditions for mating. As I have been made to understand them. But my familiarity is low." He grew thoughtful. "I am certain that my parents would be quite pleased. All children are overtly welcome. Our race is not prolific."

"Overtly welcome?" She sipped the juice again, thought she should speak aloud, not wait for him to sense it. "What are your parents like?"

Zienn shook his head. "This is difficult. You and I have little shared understanding to begin from. And I sense you think somehow I should not have parents."

She laughed, lowered her head. "Stupid. Sorry. You seem like the type to have just come into being." She laughed again. "You've never mentioned them and I've been trying not to ask even though it would help me guess what you might think about this." She almost reached out, but didn't. Rested her hands on her lap. "What do you think of your parents? Forget what I don't know. Just talk about them."

He nodded primly. "They were flattered when I was chosen for the priesthood. Our family has never been like Spock's, but I suppose in its own way, in the way of the Southern culture of our world, our family perhaps imagines being so. Having high priests among the ranks certainly helps status, although it takes a toll on the already tenuous birth rate."

He paused, grew distant. "I was not with them long. My impression of their being pleased with my placement in the temple is the strongest thing in my memory, but that is perhaps an unfair assessment of them."

"Do you have siblings?"

"No."

"They'd probably be thrilled at the idea of offspring, then."

He said in a corrective tone, "Pleased."

She looked down to not smile too boldly. "And you?"

"I have never considered it. But now that I have, I do not object. If I had not encountered Spock again since he was young, I believe I would deny your suggestion. As it is, it is acceptable."

She looked down at the counter. "It was so touching watching Lady Amanda care for Spock. I want to be like that. The mother of something that special."

"I cannot guarantee the same outcome."

"You don't think your kid would be extraordinary?"

"I perhaps hope not, in fact."

She reached out and took his arm, massaged it. Let go again.

He said, "Spock and I are very similar, but I, perhaps, got the luck of the draw, as humans say. Or perhaps not. My frame of reference is badly distorted, my worldview extraordinary limited."

She wrapped her arms around her waist. "Spock will grow up. You don't think he's just going through two sets of difficult teenaged years at the same time?"

"Perhaps. I resist such a simple explanation, however."

"I didn't mean to be dismissive. Just saying I think a lot of it will get better on its own. Not that he doesn't deserve understanding."

"Maturity will most certainly aid him. He has responsibilities that outstrip his faculties. I intend to see him through it." He scrutinized her face. "And perhaps I see your intent at creating another of him."

"I wasn't quite that blunt."

"My phrasing is likely poor. I meant to say that I can understand wishing to help another like him through life." He turned away for a long minute. "I do not know yet what I intend to do. I must return to the temple in order to bring Spock there. I will decide during that time whether I wish to stay. Or for how long. I have choices I never accepted as choices because it is harder, having them."

He put his hands back in his lap, sat serenely. "As you stated. The odds are low. I will suffer the fate of such efforts. If you are welcoming of either outcome."

She slid forward off the stool and hugged him.

"I still find this an illogical gesture," he said with no emotion.

The door chimed.

"That must be Spock." She stepped back, straightened her bath robe. "Can you answer? No sense in embarrassing the poor boy. I'll be in the bedroom."

He nodded and went to the door.

Spock stood in the doorway, hands clasped before him.

"Come in, Spock," Zienn said in Standard.

Spock raised a brow and entered with a bow.

"Would you like some juice?"

Spock's stomach rumbled, he also continued in Standard. "I would. I have been neglecting eating in James's absence."

"Then you must definitely have some." He poured juice into a clean glass and held it out.

"Are we melding today?" Spock asked in Vulcan.

"I have not yet decided. But I do wish to speak to you about realms." He had also switched to Vulcan, but added in Standard, "Drink up."

They took up their usual position on the floor by the sliding glass doors. The sun streamed across under the clouds this evening, warm grays and whites.

Zienn knitted his fingers, pointed his index fingers outward. "You have an unexpected habit of forming ad hoc realms, a skill I would not expect you to have."

"My father stated this to me at one time. I still am uncertain to what this refers."

"You appear to use it to encompass James. To calm him with the sense of safe enclosure it brings. To be closer to him by being truly alone together. If you were to meld you would be far closer. From my observations you are using this as a substitute."

Spock fell still. "I am creating a realm when I do this? I have done this for many years."

"You are. You do seem well practiced at it. But you are untrained and there are hidden risks. I am requesting, as your tutor in this, that you refrain from forming another until I can train you. That will require the mind quiet of the temple. It will require many months."

Spock nodded, bent his head.

Zienn considered Spock with new eyes, saw him as he estimated Overlander saw him. As an extraordinary child, a forerunner, a model to be repeated.

Spock remained bowed. "Have I displeased you?"

"By no means. I was contemplating something I have never contemplated before."

Spock bowed his head again and waited.

"What would you like to learn today?" Zienn said.

"Is there any way we can begin my learning about realms? Perhaps in discussion."

"I am not certain that is most useful to you at this time."

Spock bent farther. "I am your student and will do as you request."

"I was considering assisting you with gaining a second level control of your body."

"As you direct me, I will try. I regret I am distracted today. Tomorrow James will participate in a landing party to Tantalus Colony."

"Is there danger?"

"He is assisting with transporting the Vulcan Militants to Vulcan from a Federation Penal Colony. So there is some danger from my old shipmates who may try and affect an escape." Spock's gaze grew strained. "I could have accompanied the mission. It would not have been wise, but it was possible. And now I wish I had, despite the illogic. It is that dissonance of my illogical wishes and my concerns about James that are distracting me."

"Let's work on those. You should be able to clear your mind from such emotional difficulty with little effort, with the right technique and practice." Zienn waved a finger in the air as if brushing something away. "Let me show you how I disassociate from concerns. You seem to learn well by example. Which is just as well, as that is what I prefer to offer rather than remembering my own stodgy training."

He raised his hand and Spock bowed his head.

Spock felt Zienn's concerns about Overlander, shied away from something he sensed was far too personal. Zienn shifted to showing Spock his concerns about his parents whom he had not contacted in many years, and his strain about doing so after so much silence. As a secluded high priest he was very nearly lost to them by the necessity of his training and early position. But as an exalted high priest, he had the freedom to communicate with them again, but never did so. The distance between them had grown too great to bridge.

He showed Spock this strain, then showed him how he detached that concern. Setting it free to drift, thinner and thinner, abandoning the issue deep in the memory, accessible, but not tied to emotion.

Spock spoke aloud. "But how do you resolve such dilemmas when you use such a method? I find I often do so by worrying over them in the background of my mind, in what I suspect is a wholly human manner."

The meld eased off. "I make them wait until I can meditate on them."

"I would have to meditate with higher regularity in that case."

"I expect you to do so when you are in training with me." This was spoken strictly.

"Please give me a schedule in that case."

"I would prefer not to, but if I must."

"Yes. Please."

Rather than annoyance, Spock felt a wash of affection from the other side of the meld, as if for a son. He sat with Zienn's fingers lightly on his temple and cheek, sensing something he never had before, and aching for it, and embarrassed in the wake of that reaction.

"You are deeply my responsibility," Zienn said. "I have chosen to suffer that responsibility for you fully, as part of my learning to suffer. Unless you object."

"I have no right to object."

The meld remained on the periphery of Spock's mind. Zienn said, "I am learning that to suffer one must not put aside every concern. When one is very good at that, one does not suffer."

"I expect not."

"I will show you another example of that putting aside and then try and walk you through exercises so that you may practice."

The meld deepened. Spock accepted the intrusion more easily this time.

Kirk's roommate on the Hampton was a broad man with fleshy arms that Kirk suspected housed significant muscle out of view. Lt. Nangana went about his day quietly, nodded with an official air when they crossed paths in the room.

Like the previous morning, Kirk woke at oh seven hundred and his roommate was already gone for the day. There was a ten hundred meeting, and then preparation for landing, checklists, final briefings.

Kirk had read nearly all of Starfleet's recent entries on the Tantalus Colony and the head of the rehabilitative facility, Dr. Tristan Adams. The man had been revolutionary in making humane the treatment of recidivist criminals across the Federation. Kirk had heard of him before now, he was widely known and widely spoken of in entirely glowing terms. According to the colony's history, Dr. Adams had founded the Tantalus Penal Facility to take in the remaining incurable for specialized attention. Humanitarian or not, famous or not, Kirk felt hot prickles at the thought of the absolute authority the man must have in such a position, remote from regular oversight.

Kirk had not spoken with Spock in over a day, and would likely not have a chance again until they had picked up the prisoners and were on route to Vulcan. It was the middle of the night SF time. Kirk sent a message ping to Spock.

A connection request came back and Spock's image stabilized on the screen. Spock's dorm room was dark behind him.

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

Spock's voice was rough and sleep laden, and wholly sexy. Every cell in Kirk's nerves seemed to reach out toward the screen.

"It is no matter. I expected your connection."

"I could have waited a few hours. But I was worried something else might get scheduled and I wouldn't have a chance."

Spock's face relaxed. "It truly is no issue, James. And I need to speak with you."

Kirk smiled. "Go ahead."

Spock sat up fully, looked just past the screen. "I regret that I was forced to admit I was on Wolfram Thesus V."

"That was long enough ago, it likely doesn't matter. What happened?"

Spock shook his head. In the dim light his face grew darker. "I cannot see things the way you do. I cannot read a situation to foresee the traps it contains." He shook his head additionally. "I do apologize and admit regret for this shortcoming of mine."

Spock's shoulders shifted as if he sighed. Kirk felt a wave of affection.

Spock said, "Captain Pike ordered me to tell him. I had no option but to comply."

"You met Captain Pike?" Kirk sat up, forward. "What's he like? Wait. Spock. Start at the beginning. What'd Pike say to you?"

"Firstly? He told me to stand down."

Kirk froze. "Spock, I've been gone three days, what are you doing?" Spock started to speak, but Kirk cut him off. "No, there's no excuses. Someone like Pike tells you something like that, you are the one in the wrong." Kirk rubbed his hair back. "Spock, start at the very beginning. Not that beginning. The beginning before that."

Spock explained about the senior cadets, the push ups.

Kirk held up a hand. The room's lights responded by coming up brighter. He rubbed his eye. "Spock. You need to learn to bend."

"You are implying that Cadet Jaek was in the right?"

Kirk rubbed his eye harder. "That's not the point. He outranks you. He wasn't telling you to do anything immoral or illegal. So he gets to tell you what to do. Understand?"

Spock's features pulled together. "I did as he instructed."

"In a sense. But you were also an ass." Kirk sat back. "I suspect that mouth of yours is what kept trouble at bay on Vulcan. You resort to it quickly."

Spock shook his head, but he said, "Perhaps."

Kirk put his hands down on the desk in front of him. "Spock. You're not an individual anymore in the same way you were. You are going to learn this the hard way or the easy way. But if you plan to stay, you have to learn this." He huffed. "You are part of an organization now. People above you. People below you, eventually people below you. You have to act like you are part of that. Better yet, make it a part of your nature."

Spock looked away, gaze distant.

Kirk said, "Maybe I've not been a very good example. Look around yourself more." Kirk raised his chin. "Your class with Chanel. That's full of seasoned officers."

Spock met Kirk's gaze through the screen again. "Indeed. The atmosphere is promising."

Kirk worked his lips, nodded. "You like it in that class? The maturity appeals to you, the camaraderie?"

"Yes."

Kirk made his voice go unyielding. "You haven't earned your place there."

Spock's voice fell quiet. "I see."

"There are no shortcuts, Spock."

Kirk watched Spock's thoughts churn.

"You are saying I need to be humbled. To earn this." Spock had an unexpectedly upbeat tone as he said this. As if he were working something out.

"If I have to say yes or no, I'll have to say yes. But it's more complicated than that. When you fit in, you become part of something larger. For some people, that is probably humbling. When you move up and are given a lot of responsibility, it's something else."

Spock nodded. "I understand."

"Do you? It would be really good if you did."

"It would be akin to an experienced person realizing they may yet have something to learn," Spock said with a methodical air. "That assumptions can be mistaken and compounding that by failing to accept the possibility of said mistake. Which is dangerous in a leader. And one may need one's nose rubbed in those mistaken assumptions by one of a superior rank to see said situation clearly. It is akin to that?"

Kirk pursed his lips. "Yeah."

"I do understand." Spock sounded easy going. "That is what Vice Admiral Justin did to Captain Pike."

Kirk paused. "In front of you?"

"Yes. I am curious James, if you would have understood the hidden intent of the meeting before getting trapped into answering questions you did not wish to answer." Spock waited as if expecting to be corrected. He continued at Kirk's nod. "After Captain Pike's talk, I was escorted to the vice admiral's office under orders. Captain Pike was present, there was a small amount of alcohol and they appeared relaxed. The admiral warned me this was not a standard protocol."

Kirk felt a cold trickle in the center of his gut.

"The admiral had a dark wooden box on the corner of the desk with a bioscanner on the latch. He asked me to open it and examine what was inside, if I wished to."

Kirk considered this. Shook his head.

"That does make me less critical of myself. There was a phaser inside the case."

Kirk raised his chin. "Now I think I know where this is going. And you picked it up."

"I wished to examine its construction."

"Of course you did."

"And as a result, Captain Pike had to pay the admiral one hundred credits."

"I don't like this, but I'm not surprised."

"Captain Pike also had to admit that my entry into Starfleet did not require special consideration."

Kirk worked his jaw side to side. "Admiral Justin made him admit that in front of you. No wonder he's not popular among the other Admirals. I take back what I said. Pike's certainly not always right and I'm sorry I said that."

Spock nodded.

"You're the future, Spock."

"I do not see that, but if you insist."

Kirk breathed in, sat straight. "We get a chance to talk and all I'm doing is correcting you."

"If I require it. It is logical to do so."

Kirk looked away this time. "You have a lot of time. And you're smart. You don't need this from me as well as others, especially not with the academy super already on your back."

"Despite the events I have described, the admiral was rather considerate of me."

"He was willing to bet on you. He put some pride at stake doing that. And he wanted you to know what was going on. He respected your right to know."

"Also he is more knowledgeable about Vulcan traditions than I would have expected."

"It's his job to understand cultures. He's got to keep that place running smoothly. And I'm glad he gave you a chance to see that this process of correction happens at all levels. I doubt he meant to do that. I think he was just hitting Pike harder."

"Captain Pike was quite pleased that I had bot fighting experience."

"I'd be pleased too as a commander. We lack that. It tends to be deadly to obtain."

Kirk gave Spock a soft smile. "What can I do for you as a friend before I sign off here?"

"You can take great care with my former commander and his associates so as to remain unharmed."

Kirk grew sober. "I intend to." They sat in silence. "I'll let you get back to your rest period. I should get to work. Read more background material if I can find it. Can't learn too much." He reached for the switch, looked down at the desk. "Sorry if I went too commander on you." He felt a wave of regret and wished he could clearly communicate it. In person he could touch Spock to do so effortlessly.

"James." Spock sounded amused, or maybe it was the signal. "This is who you are." He waited. "Do take care."

Kirk spoke softly. "I will."

A/N: Posting early because tomorrow is going to be distracting. Everyone take a deep breath and we'll all get through it.