The first wave of monsters wasn't too large. An amalgamation of hellhounds, two-headed snakes, cannibal horses (that had the foulest mouths, I swear), what looked like evil otters, and the odd cyclops but nothing really smart enough to be able to get me as I flew by over the river.

That didn't stop them from following me.

I knew I'd have to take care of them at some point (all they had to do was follow the river to get to me) but I could already feel that pulling from my gut that told me I'd overused my powers. I couldn't help but think that if I pushed my powers too far, something irreparable would break and there would be no coming back. If I didn't kill myself outright. Either way, not something I wanted to do.

I realized I didn't have much of a choice when it came to confronting the literal hoard of monsters when I saw another large group ahead, heading in our direction on the same side of the Phlegethon. I could see everything from lycanthropes to harpies in that one. The two groups meeting would combine into a small army, and the new group had more intelligent monsters who would likely know the meaning of ranged weapons. I'd have to take them out.

I had to wonder why they hadn't come after Annabeth and I when we'd been down here before. Were they that attracted to the scent of a demigod? Had they just ignored us to gather at the Doors of Death? Or had Tartarus sent these after me?

Did it really matter? I'd still have to get rid of them either way.

I took a deep breath and slowed to a stop, hovering in the air above the Phlegethon as I surveyed the situation. How could I take them all out? I didn't have enough seawater on me to get all of them at once. That would have been easier if I'd been back at my cave. It would take time to summon the amount I would need…

But I did have other water at my disposal. Water that was almost as easy to draw on as seawater these days.

It wouldn't be the first time I'd more or less picked up a magical river (though maybe not to the extent I would need).

Having made up my mind, I closed my eyes and reached into the Phlegethon. My gut wrenched, but it wouldn't push me too far. I hoped. I began to superheat it. Probably wouldn't be able to make all of it much hotter, but anything helped. Then it was just a matter of waiting until the new group of monsters was within range, starting to throw stones at me. Letting out the breath I'd been holding, I pushed the river up and out, practically emptying it for a moment as the water splashed over the side in the equivalent of a tidal wave. I was glad they'd both been on the same side of the river. A couple of monsters had gathered on the other bank, but nowhere near as many.

The army of monsters died with gurgling screams that sounded loud in the relative quiet of the Pit. Well, it wasn't unusual to hear something screaming but that many at once?

My wave didn't leave any monsters alive. Good. I turned to the other bank and the trio of empousai that had gathered there gulped. They'd gone pale. After exchanging glances, they nodded, turned and ran. I couldn't help but smile after them. Smart.

Now I just had to keep going until I ran into the next group…

That thought made me so tired I decided to stop for a night at the next cave I could find to build ice over.

Thirty (ish) minutes later, I'd sequestered myself under a lot of rock, having frozen myself an ice room with breathing holes. Glad I'd packed for a longer journey, I ate dinner and went to sleep. I know I dreamed, but couldn't remember them.

xXx

Thump.

Thump.

Thump, thump.

I woke up to the sounds of pounding on the other side of my ice. Groaning (I didn't get nearly enough sleep), I peeked through one of my air-holes and saw several monsters gathered around. A good chunk of them sat right in front of the cave door, waiting. Not patiently. Several more were actively trying to break my ice wall down. That had been the noise that woke me up. I wondered how long I'd slept as I'd forgotten to look at my watch before sleeping. Not enough. My gut did feel better, but I still felt exhausted.

I sighed, resigned. By the time I finished with all the monsters coming after me, I may have emptied the Phlegethon. Or the oceans. Or both.

Resigned to getting no more sleep, I cleaned up, ate some breakfast, iced over my belongings to protect (and later transport) them, and uncapped Riptide. I contemplated using the river water I'd just collected but eventually decided against it. From what I could see, I could take care of most of the monsters outside. I'd just have to play it smart. Besides, I wanted the river water to take care of bigger monsters I couldn't handle otherwise.

Once I'd decided on that, I summoned some water to hold as armor, then braced myself and changed the ice wall I'd made to cover the cave into a battering ram of spikes before throwing it forward with as much energy as I could. It shot out and carved a path right through the mass outside. The ones nearest me weren't expecting that from the shocked looks on their faces. I took the opportunity to run Riptide through a good dozen of them before they came out of their stupor, and a good dozen more before any of them were able to act. By then, my ice wall had almost reached the river. I lifted it into the air and began raining ice-spikes down around me. It didn't get everything, but within ten or so minutes I'd actually taken out enough monsters that the rest seemed very hesitant to approach me.

Letting the water reform into floating bubbles, I turned and calmly walked back to my stuff. If any of the monsters tried to do anything to me, I didn't notice. Using the rest of the water and the ice I had over my stuff, I reformed my ice-bike, loaded it, let the rest fall into orbs that trailed behind me, and rode back to the river. The monsters weren't stupid enough to try and stop me. That didn't apply to any of those I ran into going up the river.

I honestly thought that by that time in my life, I'd run across more or less every type of monster in existence. That trip showed me how wrong I was. On the way back to my cave, I saw people with their faces on their stomach and chest—no head—monsters who seemed to have grown metal or rock limbs, monsters with multiple hands and arms (definitely not a hundred of them, so not Briares or any of his siblings, which I appreciated), blobs, ghosts, more types of undead or carnivorous horses than I wanted to ever meet, and far too many human-passing beings. I couldn't help but wonder if they were originally humans or half-bloods too.

They all died like every other monster I'd come across. I honestly only had issues with the ghosts, but they also seemed to be on some kind of command to not hurt me because they only approached, never touched. They kept saying things I didn't like, but for the most part I was fine with them just leaving me alone for the most part. I didn't know how to destroy ghosts anyway. Thankfully, they tended to stay behind with their fallen brethren.

It may have also begun to worry me that I could take out swaths of monsters so easily. I knew there were still monsters I couldn't fight one-on-one and expect to win (Titans and giants among them) and this wasn't even close to the amount of monsters Damasen and Bob had to fight at the Doors of—

I cut that thought off far too late.

Still, I reminded myself that a monster's claws could kill me as easily as a Titan's sword and I needed to be careful. However, between the defense from my armor and shields, the mobility via my water-chariot/ice-bike, and the sheer area of effect some of my ice-spike walls and water-spike-rain, I found the monsters I ran into easier and easier to wipe out. I couldn't decide if that counted as sheer power, or technique. The former would likely push me towards becoming a monster, the latter, not so much… I hoped. How much closer to becoming a monster was I?

I really needed to stop with those thoughts.

(Yeah. Right.)

Eventually I got back to my cave, after far too many fights. I used the water from my bike to build higher spike-walls around the entrance, unfroze the ice blocking my cave and walked in, freezing the entrance over behind me.

Then I slept. I'm not even entirely sure I dreamed then, I was so exhausted.

I didn't come out until I needed more Phlegethon water about twelve-ish hours later. I would have holed up longer if I didn't still need to breathe Tartarus' toxic air and had to deal with the boils again. Though as much as I hated it, I took it as a sign that I was still a demigod. I tried to ignore the fact that my time between drinks had gone up significantly. It had been anywhere from (about) four to seven hours when I'd first fallen and now… that time had almost tripled.

At least it was more convenient.

Surprise, surprise. That thought didn't help much.

After that, I found myself settling into a new routine, one that had far less free time and a lot more pain than before. Which said so much about my life. And despite my ability to usually take monsters out, sometimes the sheer numbers that showed up on my front step had me backed into a corner. That's when I turned to the Phlegethon. In the months (ish) following my return, I had to empty the stretch near me at least seven times to save my skin—which also meant burning me to health, of course. I was more than glad—almost grateful—that the water took out monsters while it healed me. I'd asked Annabeth about it once. She'd said the river was supposed to restore the souls of those in the Fields of Punishment to top physical condition (as much as one could be physical as a spirit). Apparently monsters didn't count.

Which had led to an entire discussion on how different monsters were from humans that I did not like to remember.

In any case, I didn't dare go back to the shrine for… too long. Long enough to run out of most human food. I made a note to ask for more canned food next time I went back (because I promised myself I would). Having to go back to monster meat after such luxury as actual food sucked. At least the spices lasted long enough for me to do something with them.

Instead of Annabeth worrying about me not making it to the shrine, she began to send me sketches and drawings of ideas for a fortress—or, more accurately, a large bunker. She wanted me to dig underground and had no less than forty-two almost completely different ideas for how to fortify it. And I had to give it to my girlfriend, she knew exactly what she was doing. Some of those designs made my darkest fantasies about what I'd like to do to Smelly Gabe or Kronos look tame.

Have I mentioned I have the best girlfriend ever? And would you know; architecture saving my life.

Eventually I settled on one of her designs that looked both easy enough to follow and harsh enough to keep me safe. Then I set out to look for a good spot to start to build, fighting the entire way, naturally. I'd grown a little attached to my little spot by the river, so I didn't want to go too far away. I hadn't been able to visit my saltwater pool since I'd gotten back from my trip to the delta, but I wanted that to change and eventually settled on digging nearby until I hit bedrock. I ended up using my ice like a drill, making it longer and longer until I hit something that became far more difficult to push through. I didn't want to know exactly what that was when it came to Tartarus—bones?—, but once I had that, I summoned more water and pushed more and more dirt out and away until I had an area about the size of my high-school gym cleared away. In only a couple of hours. I was more than a little proud of that.

It would have taken less time had I not been fighting more monsters at the time.

I was able to cover the whole thing in ice eventually, and left it for the next day. It broke that 'night' while I slept. I don't know whether that was due to monsters or just physics alone (ice breaking and the soil not properly prepared or whatever) but I did end up having to fix it… and then again. And again. Around the fifth time it stopped breaking and I hoped it wouldn't break again… though I didn't count on it. Still, the time between breaks had gotten longer each time so I could hope. I refused to lose all of my hope.

I still had to do that while fighting.

No, seriously. ADHD or not, that made everything harder.

Eventually the monsters started dying down and I went from a state of nearly endless battles while outside my cave to about twice my usual fights from before my trip to the Delta. I hadn't finished my new bunker by that point, but I had enough down that I could cover it with even more thick ice and leave it for a while.

That was the first time I dared make the trip to the shrine. So I took my bike, left everything frozen behind me, and set off.

Monsters following me the entire way almost made me turn around, and I had to stop and fight at least three times before I got to the shrine. But the idea of food and communication drove me on. Amazing how lonely it gets when one is constantly fighting even intelligent monsters for their life.

Once there, I summoned enough water to build an ice dome around it all (I was getting good at that at least) and even dug a moat filled with pits and spikes (it was all I could come up with to build relatively quickly) for any monsters that would follow me.

Only then did I dig out my latest box of matches, burning a note to camp.

Hey, guys. I'm alive. Would really appreciate some food right about now. Especially canned food. Can't stay long since monsters can smell me now (long story), but I should be safe for a couple of hours.

Thanks,

Percy

I let that burn, then paced for five or ten minutes before I couldn't take it anymore. Monsters had always found me no matter where I'd stayed since the Delta. They'd find me at the shrine. I did not like that idea. The thought of them ruining the shrine made me sick. Even if I left after only a couple of hours. I was bait, sitting in an area that only had basic fortifications at best. I could do something else about it, but it would likely take more time and thought than I probably had so…

Yeah. No.

I climbed back over the mountain separating me from the Phlegethon, using my floating water balls (I really needed to come up with a better name for them) hardened into shovels and spikes (that were fast becoming my favorite shape) to destroy the path I'd created over the years.

Years. It hit me again as to how long I'd been in the Pit and I had to stop myself from turning and yelling curses up at Olympus. No need to let Tartarus know how much it was getting to me.

(I needed to let it not get to me.)

I reached the summit of the mountain and already saw several groups of monsters coming towards me. Of course. With a sigh, I took out Riptide. Again.

xXx

Annabeth wasn't at camp again. I stared at the words written—by Piper this time—and couldn't seem to comprehend them. I'd wanted her to be there so badly. I'd needed her to be there… but she wasn't.

It didn't help that they hadn't heard from me for over a year. Again. They were thrilled to know I was still alive, but…

Another year.

Estelle was between nine and ten years old. Annabeth had mentioned my younger brother a little while back. How old was he now? I'd never even met him.

That… was my lowest point; the first time I really considered just giving up.

Which made the following events make more sense in hindsight.

I sat there staring at the note, unable to do anything about the numbness that had fallen over me.

"You're Perseus Jackson," a voice speaking hurriedly startled me. I spun around to see a woman dressed like a Greek Goddess. She looked frail and small, young even, but I didn't let my guard down. I'd learned the hard way that looks could be deceiving. All too well. She bit her lip as her gaze darted around the ice dome I'd created. Her cheeks looked hollow and she had a green tinge to her skin, making her look sickly.

The fact that it took me more than a couple of seconds to stand up and pull out Riptide said more about my mood than anything I could have spoken. It felt like I was moving by habit at that point.

"Who are you?" I managed to say.

She winced. "I knew this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have come here," she muttered to herself, moving her hands to hold her arms, nails digging into the fabric there. "But it felt so strong… and I never see those who know me best… And he said… I had to come! But this could turn out so badly!"

The woman (girl?) swallowed, but it didn't seem to help. I didn't realize immortals and monsters had to breathe, but she obviously did because her breath sped up and her eyes blew wide. "Why? Why me? What can I even do? I can't do this! I can't! I—"

"Hey," I said loudly, wincing when she cringed. Her worry seemed to bleed off onto me, something I did not like or need. "You said I know you?" If she'd, in fact, been referring to me.

She bit her lip again, still looking panicked, but not breathing so fast as she nodded and met my eyes. "All demigods know me. More than they realize. Though few have ever met me. They'd hate me more if they did. That's why this was such a bad idea—"

"Hey," I said again, interrupting her spiraling (I was all too familiar with that), not putting Riptide away but definitely knowing a panic attack when I saw one. The longer I was in her presence, the more positive I was that her anxiety affected mine, which meant I had to stop her panic attack before she made me panic too with her aura alone. Having both of us snap would definitely not do the shrine any favors… or us. Well, definitely not me.

Besides, if I helped her calm down a bit, then maybe I'd get some answers. "Take a deep breath and hold it, okay?" I said as calmly as I could.

She looked at me as if I'd grown two heads. I'd been in Tartarus for a while, so I checked discreetly. No, one head, two arms, two legs, no wings or extra appendages at my back. I kind of hated that just that knowledge had me breathing out in relief.

"Trust me," I said soothingly, "I'll do it too. Breathe in for four counts," I tapped Riptide steadily against my leg, hearing Annabeth's voice in my mind telling me the same thing "hold for four," I continued the beat, "and release for four. Again."

We continued like that until the woman seemed to have gotten hold of herself. "That… that worked. Huh. I… didn't think it would. Not with me…" Her skin looked more tanned and healthy too. Interesting.

"I'm Percy," I finally said, "although you already know that. Who are you?"

I could literally see the progress we'd made drain away from her. The healthy, warm tone leeched out of her skin, and with it went the youth, leaving an old woman in front of me. She didn't seem anxious this time, as she slumped dejectedly. I felt my own negative emotions swell again, less anxiety but more sadness and apathy. I really didn't need more of either of those either.

"Oizys. Or Miseria if you prefer," her form flickered for a moment and she looked distinctly more Roman, but very little changed other than that.

I frowned. "Miseria?" Like… misery?

She nodded. "Goddess of anxiety, grief, depression… general misery."

I stiffened. "I've… run into the—into a Goddess of Misery before," I said warily, raising Riptide again. I didn't like the implications or that particular memory. I didn't quite know what to think about this woman's claim. Were there multiple goddesses of misery?

"You mean Akhlys," she said quickly, beginning to look younger and sickly again. Then she seemed to realize what she'd said and shrunk in on herself, the rest of the old woman melting away into the awkward, nervous young teen again, confirming that her appearance reflected her mood.

I frowned. She had to be the most self-conscious goddess I'd ever heard of… if she even was a goddess. I really wasn't sure. Most of the immortals had an air of confidence bordering on (if not outright diving into) condescending superiority. She definitely lacked that.

"Akhlys is my sister," she said, her eyes darting around as if the poison Goddess would show up at any moment. If she did, I wasn't entirely sure I could hold myself back from attacking her. "She controls poison and the death mist. She… she likes misery. She likes seeing other people in pain. I… I don't! I hate it! But… there… there isn't much I can do! And even if there were… I don't think I could. It… it took me all this time since you got here to work up the courage to come and see you. You who knows me so well! You're in all of my major domains so often…"

I didn't like the sound of that… but she wasn't wrong. I didn't want to say that aloud either, so I focused on something else I'd noticed.

"You're… not here to hurt me, right?" Because most gods and goddesses I knew would happily tell the truth about that. Monsters were an 'odds or evens' chance, but I think it fed into the superiority thing with gods and goddesses.

Thankfully, she shook her head. "N-no! Besides… you… you could probably hurt me too."

I couldn't stop that wince either and may have curled in on myself a little. I could still fight if I needed to and hated that her point bothered me so much but… it did. Her aura didn't help.

"Um…" I started, feeling more insecure than I'd been in years. This sucked. "Let's make a deal. You don't hurt me, I don't hurt you, capeesh?"

She nodded enthusiastically, looking relieved. Which actually, didn't help much. She was a goddess… and she was genuinely afraid. Of me. For good reason if she knew what had happened to her sister.

But, the thing was, when I looked back, I still wasn't entirely sure how I'd controlled Akhlys' poison. I'd honestly just reached and… it had just been there. Her poison and… other bodily fluids. Which, ew. But even now, it… just didn't make sense. She'd been a child of a Primordial—a Primordial and goddess in her own right. I was still just a demigod (for now, and hopefully for a while yet). Sure I could be powerful… but not goddess powerful. I didn't like thinking about it, but looking back, I'd almost known by instinct just how to stop her… I didn't even think I could do something like that now unless someone really pushed me.

I should probably keep that to myself, though. (And maybe never think about it again as I did not like the implications.)

I didn't want people to be scared of me. Respect? Sure. And I wouldn't mind if maybe a couple of beings feared me, but… I did not want that to be the default when I met someone. Why couldn't people just leave me alone?! If people just left me alone, I'd leave them alone. Yet, the more powerful I got, the more people seemed determined to butt into my life, and the more scared they all became. Which was still dumb!

Why did so many gods, even those who didn't know what happened with Akhlys, fear me? I'd already turned down immortality. It wasn't like I wanted to take over… but even before the stupid prophecy (was getting really sick of those) Zeus wanted to kill me every other time I went to Olympus. Likely more often.

Seeing this goddess, who I vaguely remembered being mentioned in some of the myths I'd read, fear me…

"Do… do you really want to know?" Oizys asked.

I blinked. We'd just been standing around awkwardly for a while, but she said that out of the blue. She also stiffened when I fixed my gaze on her.

"You could sense my thoughts… because it's your domain, right?" I asked, a little uneasily.

She nodded.

I sighed. "I won't like this, will I." I didn't ask a question.

"N-no. Probably not," she conceded. But she was willing to give me answers so…

I braced myself. "Okay, hit me. Why does everyone who is so much more powerful than me somehow fear me?"

"I-it's a pattern," she said quietly. "A child is born with more power than originally thought possible and that generation takes over the previous one. Th-that's how it's always been."

I blinked. Nope, still not making sense. "So are they scared because I represent a generation that theoretically could overthrow them? Because it seems a lot more personal than that."

She bit her lip nervously. "Um… y-you don't understand your power."

Was it just me, or were her answers getting more confusing? Typical god, I supposed.

"Isn't that more of a reason to not… you know, fear me? Or whatever I represent."

"They can see it. What you could do with it."

I frowned. Okay, that kinda made some sense. "But I won't if they don't give me a reason."

"That, right there," she practically yelped, and her form wavered, growing brighter. I had to look away, just in case she showed her true form. But when I focused again, she'd moved over to where I was looking, near the altar. I blinked, glanced back at where she'd been… and she was there too. I looked back and forth, and she was always where I focused, but I couldn't see her out of the corner of my eye, so not multiple bodies. She always seemed to just teleport to where I was looking.

"H-how…?"

"Y-you know," she whispered, sounding on the verge of panic again. "You know how anxiety comes at you from all sides. How it's always there, drawing attention to itself. It never really goes away…"

Well, she wasn't entirely wrong. The knowledge of who I was and what my life would always be like never really went away, and that's what my own anxiety stemmed from. Though I wasn't as bad as some of the kids at camp, or even school. I could deal then, I could deal now.

I forced myself to breathe calmly and told her to do the same as she looked like she'd be attacked at any moment. "Breathe."

She seemed surprised. "Y-you're not mad?"

"That… Um… you moving like that startled me," I said slowly, "But whatever. You embody your domains. I get it. I think… As long as you don't plan on sticking around too much or distracting me all the time, 'cause I have to focus on other things." Like survival.

Oizys didn't answer for several seconds. "Um… s-sure, I guess?"

I frowned, trying to think back to what we'd been discussing before. It was kind of a breath of fresh air to have a goddess who seemed happy to actually have a normal discussion. She'd mainly given me straight answers and may become one of my favorite goddesses for that alone.

"You said 'that right there' earlier," I said, thinking back to what had made her form waver. "Because I said I wouldn't do anything if people didn't give me a reason."

"R-right," she said, back to being nervous. "It's just… what if they do?"

I opened my mouth, but snapped it shut again, instead just staring at her.

"By accident or on purpose. Y-you don't like the gods. I can sense it. S-so can they. Every time you talk back, it worries them. They wonder all the time if they're giving you a reason, but they are who they are. I… I don't know if they know how to be different."

My expression became more incredulous. "That's just in my nature! I don't like to be controlled. That doesn't mean I want to overthrow anyone! Like I told Crusty, I'd make a terrible ruler!"

"Th-that hasn't stopped anyone before," she whispered.

Well, fair point. Still.

"Besides, powerful or not, I don't get how I could overthrow gods! I mean, maybe the Titans and giants could, sure," under the right circumstances, "but just me? The gods are way more powerful than me."

Her form wavered again and I snapped my eyes closed. When I saw no light through my eyelids, I peeked again. She just stood there, staring ahead, eyes unfocused.

"I… I didn't realize… how different," she whispered.

I frowned.

"Th-that's why I came," she said slowly, cautiously. "To figure out why… why you don't want to."

Oh, great. I threw my hands up in the air. "So you're with everyone else here who wants to more or less destroy the world." I revoked her 'one of my favorite goddesses' status.

"I… kind of?" she said. "I… it's…" She slumped, suddenly looking old again, older than I thought any goddess should (with maybe the exception of the Fates). "It's awful either way. Depression, anxiety, grief… they always exist."

I folded my arms, nonplussed. "Then did Tar…" names had power, I already didn't like that she'd used Akhlys' name, "the Primordial of this… dimension send you?"

She shrank back a little, some of her youth returning, and nodded.

I rolled my eyes. Wonderful.

"So have I convinced you I won't overthrow anyone?" I asked. Not that I'd done much convincing, but it was more for Tartarus than her anyway. I hoped my refusal would be enough (though I doubted it).

"The gods," she blurted, form wavering again. "We have a different view than mortals. I… I know mortals, better than most immortals, I think, and even I didn't realize how different…

"Your power is just that: sheer power. It's terrifying." She'd returned to her younger, wispier form. "You can do things without the mindset of the gods! We have a fundamentally different understanding of the world—of the universe. I don't think you can comprehend. Not all of us use that kind of power. We use our connection and knowledge—sometimes innate knowledge—of how the universe works and manipulate that. It's… it's what separates gods from Titans and giants. Only… only Primordials and Gods have that understanding."

It took me a minute to fully comprehend that, and even then, I don't think I entirely understood, but I got the gist.

"So," I held up a finger and closed my eyes to keep myself from getting frustrated (I knew from experience how quickly that could turn into anger and was still trying to avoid collateral damage), "you're saying they're scared of me because I managed to be able to do some of the things they can only do with cheat codes to the universe?"

She blinked. "Cheat… codes." The goddess seemed to mull that over before nodding in acceptance. "Yes."

"Like Titans and giants do."

She nodded again. "But, more creative, and far faster. So, so much faster. Humans aren't supposed to live long enough to get that kind of power. But you did." She bit her lip. "And that… that happened for a reason."

I took several deep breaths before I felt my anger pull back. Then I sighed.

"Look, you can tell Tar… everyone that I'm not doing it, so they may as well stop asking. Maybe you're right and I have my power for some fated reason. But maybe I've already fulfilled that. Maybe it was to stop the world from getting destroyed. Twice." Three times if I counted what I helped with during Apollo's mortal stint and the old, Roman emperors. "Or maybe it's to make the gods scared enough to change. I don't know. And I don't think anyone else does either! I'm sick of everyone thinking that I have my power for their goal. That includes the gods.

"I don't think they ever really got it. I'm not on their side," I confessed heatedly. "I never have been. I've been on the demigod's side. I'm on humanity's side. And that's why I fight for the gods. They are literally the best of several really awful options. Kronos? He didn't care about humans. In the past, he made mortals that served him and only him and didn't have a choice in the matter. That's what would happen to humans with him around, best case scenario. I will fight something like that until my dying breath, just in case no one got that memo. That was something Luke never got. The gods don't care about individual humans most of the time, sure, but they care about humanity as a whole. It benefits them. The giants? They'd be worse than the Titans. With maybe the exception of Damasen, who's been disowned by his family.

"And the Primordials? I don't think they can possibly understand humans—you being a possible exception. Gaea wanted to wipe us out, and maybe she had a good reason, I wouldn't know because she wouldn't deign to talk to us beyond goading or condescending orders. And don't get me started on Ouranus, who didn't like any of his children, you know, the Titans." The Hekatonkheires and some cyclopes as well.

It was strange to think of Gaea as good. Even if it had been so long ago…

"But there's so much!" she practically yelled suddenly. I stopped speaking and stepped back from the goddesses' anger. "There's so much anxiety and depression! So much grief! It's so painful—in ways so few understand! It doesn't just heal like physical pain! It's so much! Too much!"

She put her hands to the side of her head, clutching at her hair like it was her only link to sanity. She began aging before my eyes, surpassing old age and looking far more like the oracle of Delphi from my first few years at camp. A literal walking mummy. It was… unnerving. Extremely so. Especially as she was still breathing heavily.

I let her be for several seconds before I spoke.

"You… implied that you didn't care whose side won," I said slowly. That obviously wasn't the case.

"It's so much," she practically begged, empty eye-sockets somehow filled with tears. "Can't you end it? Or lessen it? If you ruled over the world… or just stopped the current rule… maybe it would stop hurting."

Oh.

I looked down, understanding why Tartarus had sent her, now. It was, by far, his best argument, showing me someone who was genuinely hurt so badly by the current rule. Maybe as a twelve-year-old, just off of my first quest (or before), I would have taken the bait. I knew, at least to some extent, how she felt. I really did. But… I'd come to realize there was more to the world beyond my own pain—even beyond the pain of those I cared about. Once I'd stopped focusing on the pain itself, it hadn't disappeared but… I'd been able to see so much beyond that—beyond what she may only be able to see due to her domains.

She was still more relatable than any other god I'd met. I could feel her grief, as if she were mourning something she'd mourned before. Something she longed for and could never have.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, after several seconds. I wanted to reach out to her, but was unsure if I could or if she could even accept any comfort. "I'm so sorry you're hurting. I… You know I get why—that I understand, at least to some extent. I know there are so many terrible things in the world. So many. I know. But…" I remembered the Camp and all the strong friendships that had been formed there. And the rivalries. It wasn't perfect, but it was good. And while Camp Jupiter had far more structure than I was comfortable with, the same could be said there. And that didn't just apply to demigods. My mom, Paul, Rachel, Estelle… there were good people in the world.

"But there are so many amazing things too," I went on. "Humans don't just understand the world they're born into. We have to work to gain every ounce of understanding we have. And we make mistakes. Lots of them. But there's so much to fight for." I thought of Annabeth and the rest of the seven. How hard we'd all fought and the bonds we had. I'd fight for that until my dying breath—beyond, if I had to.

"I can't feel that," she screamed, her toothless maw of a mouth somehow forming the words, despite the lack of teeth or tongue or any muscles to move the hardened flesh of her lips. It made me wince. Her form wavered again and the dome around us started to shake. "I just… I just want it to stop," she cried. Literally cried. With tears and everything. I don't know how that worked in her mummy form, but I know I saw, and sensed, the liquid running down her cheeks.

Nervously I glanced around. She'd initially seemed far more human than other immortals I'd met. It had been easy to forget that she had those 'cheat codes' she'd talked about earlier. I thought about reaching out and trying to get her to calm down again. She'd been so surprised before when the breathing exercise Annabeth had taught me worked…

Then something occurred to me.

"Look… maybe," I started, biting my lip, "maybe you could learn something from humans."

"Like what?" she shrieked. Her hair, that had been put up into a typical Grecian updo, had grown thin and sparse as it escaped to float around her head as she got angrier.

I winced. "Wait, hear me out. So… gods have this innate knowledge about the universe, like you said. Right?"

Her dead-looking brow furrowed somehow and she nodded.

"Does that apply to everything?"

She blinked, despite not having any eyes anymore. "No… only our domains."

Somehow I didn't think it was quite that simple, but it worked well enough with the idea I had.

"So humans don't have domains. Like I said, we have to work at everything we get. So can't gods and goddesses work for some knowledge about domains they don't have? I mean, start from the bottom and work up… like humans do?"

She continued to blink at me, tears still rolling down her cheeks. "Like… humans."

I shrugged, feeling at a loss. "And, um, I know it's hard, but humans have things like… therapy," that almost hurt to admit, Annabeth would never hear about this, "and there have been some pretty big strides in that field recently. Maybe that could help you. Maybe starting from the ground up and learning what we've learned and why we've learned it can, I don't know, give you ways to deal with your anxiety?" It wasn't like that was curable, especially for the Goddess of Anxiety. But I knew people who had to live with that at school, and most of them seemed to learn to cope. I didn't know if it was possible for Oizys, but maybe? "There's depression and grief counseling too, I think." Annabeth had mentioned those areas in her writings recently, albeit in passing.

She'd stopped crying and her aura had calmed as she looked at me, eyes wide. Her cheeks began to fill out and her eyes returned. After only seconds, she became a young teen again. She still didn't say anything.

"I mean," I went on, a little self-consciously, "it sucks to have to start from the bottom when you know so much about something else so effortlessly, but that doesn't mean you can't learn more about things outside your domain, right?"

I wasn't saying this right. If Annabeth were there, she'd know what to say. Or my mom. My mom always knew what to say.

I missed them so much right then, it almost physically hurt. (Her aura exacerbated that, of course. I was kind of looking forward to her leaving.)

Oizys looked down, away from me. "I… you… think?"

I blinked. That had… worked? "It's worth a shot, isn't it?" I asked, shrugging and hoping I looked more nonchalant than I felt.

"I… you're… sure you can't just… take over?" she asked again, almost whining.

I felt my expression dry out. "No."

She sighed, slumping in depression and looking old again. "I'll… think about it," she whispered.

I nodded, relieved. That was not how my conversations with gods and goddesses usually ended. Then again, I usually found myself yelling at them half way through any conversation in the past. Of course, that did speak highly of how I'd matured, right? It had taken me twenty-six years (or more) but I finally got to a point where I could talk one of my enemies down, albeit temporarily, but I'd take it. That was… a surprisingly good feeling. It had to happen at some point, right?

We sat there for several seconds, neither really knowing what to do. Eventually, she cleared her throat.

"I'll… just go talk to uncle," she finally said quietly.

"Hey," I blurted before she could leave. She paused and looked at me, old eyes so tired. "I hope you find something that can help you. What you need."

I don't think she knew what to say to that, because she just nodded and vanished.

After a moment, where I just breathed in relief, I went back to the altar and pulled out a piece of paper. Annabeth would want to hear about that conversation. Highly edited, of course.

xXx

AN: The stuff about Titans and giants is obviously purely speculation. I based this mostly off of the fact that Titans and giants don't seem to have an alternate form. I'm sure they could change their forms, but that doesn't stop the fact that their 'true' forms are comprehensible by humans as far as we've seen. That doesn't apply to gods and primordials. At least from what I remember. So in my mind, this is what sets gods and primordials apart from Titans, giants and other monsters. Some Titans are more powerful than gods, but they don't have the 'cheat codes' to the universe, if you will. An inherent knowledge usually regarding their domains that just goes deeper than what the Titans seem to have. I have no idea if this could canonically apply to either Riordanverse or the actual mythology, but thought it worth exploring.

Also, Oizys/Miseria is a real goddess of grief, anxiety, and depression. Go figure. Was so surprised when she came up instead of Ahklys when I internet searched that.

Thank you so much for reading! And thanks to Asterius Daemon, Ajax, Starlight 3 and Quathis for their help on this.

Next week's chapter: Of Building and Old Acquaintances

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