Chapter 6

"Should I stay or should I go?" (edited/extended version 2023)

Edward's POV

"This isn't going to be an easy one, considering we've been living together as a family for such a long time, but it is a decision that must be made in order to keep the rest of this family together", Carlisle said as he wandered back and forth across the living room floor. Jasper sat inanimate, without uttering a word. Alice was sitting next to him, close, as if acting as his shield.

"What happened last spring has taken a huge toll on Jasper and his ability to control himself but it has also taken a huge toll on the rest of us", Carlisle continued ,"I've spoken to our friends in Denali and they've said they don't mind having Jasper come stay with them for whatever period of time that might be necessary. And I think this might be a good thing, considering what we've all been going through lately…"

Carlisle trailed off, as he knew that there wasn't a total consensus of how the situation should be handled. Rosalie and I had been adamant about the fact that something had to be done, and soon, since we considered the situation to be unbearable. But Esme frowned at the mere thought of having one of her children sent away, and Emmett wasn't too keen on the thought of Jasper going away. He didn't think it was a situation that couldn't be mended with a bit of elbow grease and persistence. Carlisle himself wasn't sure whether it was a good decision or not. But he could see that the situation as of now wasn't going to last.

"I still think this is stupid", Emmett muttered, but didn't continue as Rosalie shot him an irritated look.

I remained silent, as I felt that I'd already said enough.

"Some of us would actually like to be able to live a little for once and get a shot at a normal life", Rosalie sneered, "I for one am tired of worrying whether today is the day Jasper will ruin the life we've built for ourselves here in Forks. We've got a couple of good years left here before we have to move on and I for one would like to live those years, in the way that we're able."

Esme at once looked at her with dismay and sadness, but Rosalie stared right back at her, refusing to budge on her opinion.

"I know I've been a huge burden on this family for quite some time now, and even though I don't relish the thought of going away to stay in Denali, I realize that it's probably the best solution we've got right now", Jasper suddenly spoke. Everybody in the room grew quiet and turned their eyes to Jasper.

"I love you all very much and I will miss you when I'm gone, you in particular", he said and squeezed Alice's hand. She opened her mouth to protest, but he raised his hand slightly to silence her and continued. "I've always had a hard time refraining from human blood and I have not been myself since what happened last year. I'm not even going to try to deny it. And whatever it takes for me to fix it I do believe it's something that has to come from within and it's something I've got to fix without your help. And hopefully, with time, I'll be able to come back to you."

Rosalie suddenly looked a bit ashamed of what she'd just said and Esme's eyes were on the brink of tears. Carlisle walked over to Jasper and put his hand on his shoulder.

"I hope you will remember that we're always on your side, no matter how long it takes. We all love you and care for you very much", he said, his voice slightly trembling.

"I know", Jasper said and smiled reassuringly at Carlisle , "But I think you will all love me a tiny bit more once I've tamed my bloodlust."

"I'm not staying here without you", Alice blurted out and leaned closer to Jasper ,"I'm going to stay with you through all of this. I've been through high school enough times, I for one do not think that I'll be missing out on something." She threw a fierce stare in Rosalie's direction, but Rosalie just sighed heavily and rolled her eyes at her.

"You will be staying here too", Jasper said and hugged her tight, "No matter how much I love you this is something I've got to do on my own and you shouldn't have to put your life on hold because of me. And let's face it, you could still do with a bit more American history. You're getting a bit rusty." He laughed to himself and kissed Alice's forehead and even though she looked a bit anguished she couldn't help but smile.

I sat quiet in the back of the room, still without uttering a word. I couldn't help but feel a bit relieved by the fact that Jasper was going away, even though the thought also made me feel guilty. The thought of not coming home to a war zone every day, not having to keep an eye on Jasper in school all of the time, not worrying... It was an intriguing thought. My thoughts spun even further, to the thought of maybe making some friends. Maybe even having friends over. Not that there were that many people in Forks that sparked my interest to be honest, but the new girl interested me in a way that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Maybe it was because she was a novelty in this otherwise so dormant town. Or maybe it was because she was the first girl I'd met who had an absolutely silent mind…