Chapter 36

Edwards POV

"I still cannot wrap my head around it. How can you be fine with being the rebound boy? WHY?" I cringed as Emmett raised his voice, bellowing out my and Bellas relationship all over the parking lot that belonged to Forks high school. "Oh my god, will you shut up about this already?" I hissed at him. "I am NOT the rebound boy", I added sharply, "Things are just a bit complicated. Maybe things will change with time, maybe they won't. I'm fine with whatever." "Things are not fine though. You're sneaking out at night every night, climbing the window of a girl who's still hung up on her ex. How is that fine? That's just sad, Edward", Emmett added and proceeded to pat my back as if he was trying to comfort me.

I looked over to Rosalie who was standing next to us, not interfering in our discussion, willing her to help me out. At first she just glared at me, but then I suppose she realized it was impossible to remain impartial in the matter. "Alright, alright!" she moaned, "You are both being stubborn idiots here. Emmett, you've got literally nothing to do with Edwards love life. Hell, let him pine over Bella for the rest of his life if he feels like it. What's it to you?" For a brief moment I felt a bit smug about Rosalie telling Emmett off, but then she went on speaking her mind. "And you, Edward", she said and turned to me, "You're just pathetic. Yes, none of us get a say in this matter, but you're acting tragically. This girl is still in love with someone else. Sure, it's probably just puppy love and it will most likely pass but even when it does there's nothing that ensures that she'll be falling for you. I know you've lived off your good looks for a hundred years now, but I don't think that'll do the trick this time. I say save yourself the heartache and stop these nightly visits." So much for the support I was hoping for.

"Great guys. Thanks", I said quietly and then turned my head to look in the direction of the main entrance of the school. As if I didn't already know that I was being pathetic. "Come on, Edward. You know we're saying this because we care about you, but…" Emmett started but I raised my hand to stop him from continuing. "It's fine. We don't have to talk about everything", I stated firmly as to end the subject. Rose just looked at me, trying to give me a reassuring smile, but I wouldn't have it. It was bad enough pining over Bella and getting crumbles. I didn't need these guys judgement on top of that.

Suddenly I saw Bella coming out of the school, making her way down the stairs to the parking lot. I decided it was time to shake my siblings off and I hurriedly crossed over the parking lot in her direction. "Hey! Bella!" I hollered at her. As her eyes met mine her face broke into a smile and she raised her hand to wave at me. I could feel my legs go wobbly just by looking at her, but then I forced myself into acting normal. "Hey, Cullen", she said and stopped but three feet away from me, "What's cooking?" "I was just about to ask you the very same thing", I replied. Smooth going for once, Edward. For a brief second she just smiled at me, as if she didn't know what she was going to reply. "Are you guys in the mood of doing something?" she asked and nodded in the direction of Emmett and Rosalie. I swiftly turned my head and noticed they were still standing by Rosalies car on the other side of the lot. "Nah, they're just heading home to study. Boring, as usual. But I was thinking maybe you'd like to hang out anyways. Just you and me?" I tried to sound casual when I added that last part about it being just the two of us, but I'd had to force myself not to stutter those last words. Here goes nothing.

For a brief second she just looked at me quizzically, as if she didn't know what it was that I'd asked for. Bella and I usually spent a lot of time hanging out, even when we were not spending the night together, but we were almost always chaperoned by Emmett and Rosalie and the other times we'd be in school surrounded by our classmates. This thing, hanging out in broad daylight just the two of us, was something we hadn't done a lot of. "Sure, that sounds good. Great actually. I'm not psyched about going home to study and cook for Charlie. Let's do something", she answered smiling. Now it was I who didn't know what I was supposed to say. I hadn't really thought this through because I had absolutely zero original ideas about what we could do for fun here in Forks that she hadn't already done a hundred times.

"So what are you in the mood for?" she continued to ask, looking at me with an excited look. Boy, was I going to disappoint her now. "Well, I was thinking maybe we could go down to La Push. Maybe pick up some drinks and something to eat on our way there. There are some great waves down there and if we're lucky we might see a whale or two." It was in fact an original idea, seeing as I knew for a fact that Bella hadn't been down by La Push since she came to live with Charlie. But come on? Was that really the best thing I could come up with trying to create a romantic atmosphere so that I could muster the courage to tell Bella that I'd sell my soul to be more than her lover? It was a crap idea.

"That sounds really cool actually. Let's do it", she said enthusiastically. I wasn't too surprised by her response, seeing as Bella was a polite and kind human being. I just hoped she wasn't doing this just to humor me. "Alright then", I said, trying to mimic her enthusiasm, "La Push it is. Do you mind if we take your car?"

On our way to La Push we stopped by Joes and picked up a couple of sandwiches and drinks. When we reached the reservation I pointed out to Bella where she should park the car and when she'd parked we walked in silence towards the beach. Yet another attractive trait in Bella, she didn't always jabber on the way my family tended to do. "This is really nice, Edward. I'm glad you came up with this idea", she suddenly said and stopped. She was looking out towards the roaring waves, her gaze fixed on a spot far, far away from here. "Yes, I like to come here occasionally. It's a good place to think", I said and proceeded to sit down on the sand. "I can imagine", she said sounding pensive and then went on to sit down next to me. Still with her eyes fixed on the far away horizon she tried to make herself comfortable where she was sitting. It was actually way too cold to be hanging out at the beach as it was just the end of march and I cursed myself for being so thoughtless as to bring her here.

"Are you cold? Because I'm pretty sure I have an extra sweater in my backpack if you want it", I added. I was going to pretend heading back to the car to pick up my backpack, but instead I'd run home to pick up a sweater if that was what it took for her not to freeze to death on this stupid beach. "I'll be fine", she answered and scooted closer to me. As by pure reflex I put my arm around her, pulling her closer to me. Once more I cursed myself for lacking body heat, but at least I'd be shielding her from some of the winds and maybe my coat and sweater would warm her some. When we'd been sitting like that for a while I remembered the food that we'd brought and I figured she'd have to be pretty hungry by now. "Are you up for some food?" I murmured into her hair. "I am actually", she answered and then pulled away to reach for the bags of food that were standing next to her. I felt myself getting sick by the thought of chugging down the massive sandwiches from Joes, but if that was what I had to put up with to keep appearances around Bella then that's what I'd have to do. There was no way I'd let her in on my family secrets at this stage of our relationship. Or whatever this was.

"Turkey or BLT?" she asked and held up the two sandwiches for me to decide. Just the smell of the bacon made my stomach turn so I opted for the turkey sandwich. We ate in silence and after I'd managed to swallow most of my sandwich without making too many faces I folded the rest of the sandwich into a napkin. I couldn't get my head around how humans could get so excited about food, this stuff was disgusting. I felt myself getting nauseous again at the thought of what I'd have to do to get this food out of my system again. Sometimes being a vampire was repulsive.

"How was your sandwich?" she asked, still looking at the ocean but now leaning into my embrace once more. "It was fine. How was yours?" I proceeded to ask, even though I was sure that her sandwich had to have been even more disgusting than mine. "It was fine." She left it at that and then returned to looking at the ocean. What I wouldn't give to be able to read this girl's mind! "I'm going to visit my mom in Phoenix during spring break", she suddenly said. This was actually news to me. I supposed I'd been relying too much on getting my information about her life during my nightly visits and it seemed like this has slipped under my nose. In the beginning I hadn't been opposed to eaves dropping when she spoke to her mom on the phone, but the relationship we'd developed these past weeks had made me feel awkward about prying the way I had been before.

"Oh, that great. I know you've missed her", I tried, trying to sound cheery even though the idea of spending a whole week without Bella made me depressed. "Yes, it'll be fun. Phil is going to be gone so it'll be just us two. Just like the good old times", she added happily. And with those words she managed to release a flash flood of thoughts inside my head. Did this mean that she'd be seeing Dan when she was in Phoenix? Yes, I was sure they'd be bumping into each other and then they'd agree on having coffee, or maybe even dinner, for old times sake. When they had dinner they'd be reminiscing about old times and as the hour grew late they'd both realize that maybe the year and a half that Bella had left before going to college wasn't all that long. Maybe they'd start talking about what if they'd try again. At the end of the evening they would kiss and Dan would ask Bella if she wanted to come back to his dorm room with, seeing as his roommates were spending spring break in Cabo San Lucas and he had the place all to himself. And then…

"But of course I'll suffer from having to sleep alone when in Phoenix", she said, her voice all canny all of a sudden. I knew she was trying to show some consideration for the fact that she probably knew I wasn't thrilled about her going to Phoenix for a week and leaving me here, but I couldn't shake my mind of the images of her and Dan getting hot and heavy in Phoenix. "Well, maybe I'll climb Charlies window and spoon him while you're gone", I answered, trying to sound sincere. "It's been a while I think so you might not like the response you get. Just a heads up", she answered laughing and I couldn't help but laugh at her remark. "Gross, Bella! That's your dad! You can't talk like that about him!", I cried and tried to act as if I was appalled by the thought of Charlie getting aroused by me spooning him. "He's still a human being, even if he is my dad", Bella defended herself, still laughing. And even though I was laughing I still couldn't shake of the bad feeling that I had about Bella going back to Phoenix. But instead of acting upon my feelings, like some psycho overprotective boyfriend, and I wasn't even her boyfriend, I opted for drawing her into my embrace and holding her close while she was still laughing about her own jokes. Maybe I wasn't as good and perfect as Dan, probably far from it. But that didn't mean I wouldn't put up a fight over this girl.