Chapter 42
"Tell it to my heart"
Bella's POV
I spent my last night in Phoenix staring at the ceiling, not getting a minute of sleep. Shortly after Edward had hung up on me Renee had come knocking at my door, but I had turned her away, not in the mood to talk about what had happened tonight. I was still mad at her for talking to Dan behind my back. She was supposed to be on my side, or at least she was supposed to be neutral. Now it felt as if she'd been scheming against me with the enemy.
At first I'd figured it would be for the best if I gave Edward his space and waited until tomorrow before contacting him, but I only lasted about 30 minutes before I sent him a long, groveling text. He hadn't replied and I frankly didn't expect him to. I deserved the silent treatment I was getting and I'd be lucky if he ever spoke to me again. I assumed he needed time to think now about what he was going to do next.
He's probably talking it over with his siblings right now seeing as he doesn't really have any other friends, I thought to myself. Except for me that was and it had turned I was a shitty one. I cringed at the thought of him telling Emmett and Rosalie what I'd done. I knew I'd deserved that too, but this was the problematic part about the relationship I had with Edward. When I had him I also had the friendship of his siblings. But if we ever ended things on a bad note, would I have that? Would Rosalie still wanna hang out with me? Would Emmett still treat me with the same big-brotherly affection? Seeing how loyal the Cullen family seemed I didn't think I could have one without the other.
When the next morning came I'd already packed up my stuff, even though my flight wouldn't be leaving until noon. I was so done with Phoenix and I couldn't wait to get back to Forks so that I could start cleaning up the mess I'd made. Renee and Phil tiptoed around me at the breakfast table, their strategy being pretending last night never happened it seemed. It was fine by me since I wasn't in the mood for talking about it with them and I still hadn't gotten over how mad I was at Renee.
When they left me at the airport Renee asked me to call her when I got back to Forks. I just nodded, not promising anything. Of course I would be calling her. I just didn't think I'd want to talk to her anytime soon. I just feel like I needed to distance myself from Phoenix as much as possible right now, not being able to handle all the feelings that came with this city. The ordeal with Dan the night before had shown me that I was better off far away from Phoenix and all the drama.
When I boarded my flight I still hadn't received a reply from Edward and I was beginning to doubt the fact that he'd see me when I got back to Forks. I considered sending him a text asking when and where we could meet, but I figured it would be pushing my luck. I had to give him space and wait this out until he felt like he was able to talk to me again. If he wanted to talk to me again, that was. I finally decided against texting him and proceeded to turn off my phone as the flight was about to take off.
Once we were up in the air I finally fell asleep, exhausted after my sleepless night. I was woken up by one of the flight attendants three hours later, realizing that I was the last person left on board. I excused myself awkwardly and quickly gathered my things. Once I got off the plane I tracked down a restroom before retrieving my luggage. I suspected I looked like shit and I decided I should probably freshen up a bit so as to not worry Charlie when he picked me up at the airport. I was reluctant to answer more questions than necessary about my visit to Phoenix and I figured looking like a total wreck would provoke several.
I splashed some water on my face and ran a brush through my hair. I also slapped on a bit of lip gloss and pinched my cheeks. Charlie might have been the sheriff, but he wasn't very observant when it came to putting on an act. I figured I'd be able to keep calm until we were back in Forks and then I'd spend the rest of the evening feeling sorry for myself in the solitude of my room. I figured Renee would get around to letting Charlie know what had gone down pretty soon, but if I just made it home before that I figured I could dodge the questions until tomorrow at least by pretending to go to bed early.
Once I figured I looked okay I proceeded to pick up my bag from the carousel, my luggage being the only one left. I then headed for the arrivals hall. The hall was buzzing with people and as I looked around I couldn't see Charlie. I suddenly remembered I should probably be turning on my phone. I picked it up from my front pocket and turned it on. Nothing. There were no missed calls or messages. Just as I was about to call Charlie I suddenly heard my name being called. The only problem was that it wasn't Charlie calling my name. It was Edward.
I hardly dared to look up from my phone as I heard my name being called once more from afar.
"Bella!" he said a third time. From the corner of my eye I could see him standing just a couple of feet away from me. I finally forced myself to look at him.
My heart did somersaults when I finally looked at him. He had his hands tucked into his pockets, shifting his weight anxiously from one foot to the other. His hair was tousled and he looked a bit pale. I figured he hadn't been getting a lot of sleep either. I couldn't read the expression on his face. Was he nervous? Mad? And first and foremost, what the hell was he doing here?
I felt myself getting selfconcious and I pulled my hands through my hair, attempting to look as decent as possible. Even though I suspected I probably looked like shit.
"I know this is weird", he went on to saying apologetically, "it's just that I asked Charlie earlier in the week if I could surprise you and pick you up from the airport once you got home. It turns out Billy had asked him to go fishing today so he was happy to oblige. I didn't know how I could tell him now that it would probably be weird for me to pick you up, not without disclosing…"
He trailed off and shrugged. I could feel tears pricking my eyes at his words. This was so typically Edward, being all noble and loyal, even to those who obviously didn't deserve it.
"Thank you", I blurted out nervously. "Thank you for picking me up and for not telling Charlie that his daughter is an idiot. Though he'll find out eventually."
He just shrugged his shoulders at my words, his hands still in his pockets. We stood like that, looking at each other for a brief moment.
"Let's get going", he then said and reached for my luggage.
As I opened my mouth to protest against him carrying my bag he raised his hand to ward off my protests. I snapped my mouth shut. As we got to the parking lot he opened the trunk of his car and carefully stowed my bag away. He then went on to open the door to the passenger seat, holding it up for me. I truly didn't deserve the courtesy. I sat down and he shut the door behind me. Without saying anything he got into the driver's seat and then we were on our way.
I fervently wanted to break the uncomfortable silence that was engulfing us. But what could I possibly say to lighten the mood? It was obvious that he hadn't been picking me up today at his own volition, only honoring the promise so as to not having to speak to Charlie about what had happened. I figured he'd proceed to getting the hell out of my life once he'd dropped me off at my house and I couldn't blame him for it.
As if he'd heard my thoughts he proceeded to turn on the radio. The music drowned out a great part of the silence, but I was still painfully aware of the fact that we'd never had a wall between us like this before. Things had changed and they probably weren't going to go back to the way that they once were. I winced at the thought of losing even the slightest bit of the life I'd had here in Forks before heading off to Phoenix. I'd been good, better off even. And now everything had irrevocably turned to shit and it was my own fault. I could feel tears pricking my eyes once more and I struggled to blink them away. I'd done this and now I'd have to lie in this bed.
"So…", Edward suddenly breathed, almost whispering, "can we talk once we get back to Forks? I don't think we should be having this conversation when I'm driving."
His words pushed me over the edge and I started crying uncontrollably, gasping for air. So this was it then. I'd ruined it. I hid my face in my hands, sobbing so desperately that my body shook.
"What…?"he proceeded to say, sounding confused. "Oh, I didn't mean it like that, Bella. That's not what I meant."
"It's not?" I croaked, finally having the courage to look at him. He looked at me, looking both confused and distressed by my violent reaction to his words.
"No. I'm not ending…whatever this is, or was. Or, I mean, that depends on you", he said with a pained expression and then turning his gaze back to the road. "I just meant that I don't want to get upset when driving with you in the car."
"So you're not breaking up with me?" I stammered, still not able to stop crying. The anxiety that I'd been carrying since last night was finally taking its toll on me and it almost felt good letting my feelings spill over.
"I don't see how I could, seeing as we've never been an item", he answered pointedly, keeping his eyes on the road still. I deserved that.
"I'm sorry, I just meant…" I started excusing myself.
"I know what you meant. Will we be continuing our friends with benefits affair, that is you receiving all the benefits of a boyfriend but without actually having to acknowledge me as such or offering me any validation of my feelings? Yes, I suppose we will, seeing as I'm too much of a masochist to distance myself from you", he answered callously.
I drew a sharp breath at the edge of his words. I deserved this too, I kept telling myself.
"If that's what you still want", he added, his voice a bit softer now.
"It is", I hurried to reply. "I do."
He just nodded, without looking at me.
We spent the rest of the ride in silence, except for the occasional sob on my part. Once I'd started crying I couldn't make myself stop. Even if he wasn't in fact putting an end to whatever this was, I knew that the fact that I'd broken his trust would irrevocably alter the relationship we'd previously had and I was afraid to discover what this change would entail. I didn't want anything to change between us.
"God, I hope Charlie's not home yet. He's going to come for me with his rifle, no questions asked, if he sees you", Edward sighed tiredly as we pulled up to my street.
I wiped my eyes once more with the sleeve of my coat.
"I'm sorry", I mumbled.
"It's fine. He's still fishing", he replied as he pulled up to my driveway.
And he was right. Charlie's car was nowhere to be found. Edward climbed out of the car and went to the back of it to retrieve my bags. I remained in the passenger seat, trying to compose myself and bracing myself for the talk we'd soon be having. I'd deserved this and now I'd have to deal with the consequences. But it didn't change the fact that I was scared senseless by what he'd have to say to me.
"Are you coming?" he said, his voice impassive, as he opened the door on my side.
I just nodded and got out of the car. Even if I was scared of what he'd say this was better than what I'd pictured happening as I had lain awake the night before. I walked up the stairs to the front door and unlocked it. I held up the door to him and he lugged my bags inside. Without saying a word he walked up the stairs to my room, still carrying my bags, and I trailed behind him. I supposed we shouldn't risk having this conversation downstairs with the risk of Charlie walking in on us in a full blown turmoil of hurt feelings and tears.
Edward put my bags down next to my desk and then just stood in the middle of my room, looking as if he didn't know what to do next. He just looked so small and vulnerable. It broke my heart to see him like this and it broke my heart even more that I had been the one to make him feel like this. Seeing him like this, I couldn't hold back anymore. Without hesitating I rapidly strode towards him, throwing my arms around his waist.
"I'm so sorry", I mumbled, pressing my face to his chest and desperately holding on to him.
For the longest minute he didn't move or reciprocate my embrace, and I briefly feared that he'd push me away. But then, as if he'd been deliberating with himself, I felt him putting his arms around me and pulling me even closer.
"I know, I know", he mumbled, pressing his lips against my forehead.
We stood like that, just breathing one another in, for a moment. Then he loosened his grip on me and proceeded to gently ease out of my embrace.
"Now we have to talk", he said solemnly. I just nodded, pursing my lips together tightly.
"And this time I'd like to go first and I just want you to listen, without interrupting me. Okay?" he said and gestured for me to sit down on the bed. I nodded once more and then sat down on the edge of the bed. He sat down next to me, turning his frame towards me, but without touching me.
"So, I've thought really hard about what I was going to say to you today. All night actually. My initial thought was to just end this, to sever all ties, and be done with it. Because I've increasingly been feeling that I can't handle the way our relationship makes me feel. I think you've realized that, at least to some extent, by the things I said before you left for Phoenix."
I nodded to confirm that yes, I'd understood that he was having trouble dealing with this thing we were doing.
"I find myself almost every day not knowing what to do with all these feelings I have towards you. One minute we're lying in bed together, and the next minute I can't even hold your hand at school. One minute you're telling me things you don't tell anyone else, and then the next minute I can't even tell anyone that you're the best part of my day. Not even you."
He looked at me, an anguished expression on his face. How I wished to be able to wipe away the hurt and the angst from his face.
"But that's just the thing", he carried on. "You are the best part of my day, and try as I might I don't see a way of distancing myself from you. I'm stuck with you. With you and all your baggage. I have to live with the memory of Dan by my side every fucking day. Sometimes I can almost feel him lying in bed with us for fucks sake. He's like this big wall between us, and a wall that I'm fearing I will never be able to break down."
I cringed at the mention of Dan's name. Their worlds weren't supposed to mix. Not ever.
"So imagine what I felt like when I got your call last night. This is the one thing I've been afraid of all along and you haven't even been back in Phoenix for a week before you go and make my worst nightmare come true, just like that. I would've been fine with the feelings that I have for you being one-way for whatever amount of time it took you to come around. I've accepted that fact and I've accepted the fact that you might never come around to reciprocating what I feel. But I cannot, and I will not, compete with Dan. That's where I have to draw the line for the sake of my own sanity", he said agitatedly without missing a beat.
I opened my mouth to object to what he'd just said, but he raised his hand, signaling that he wasn't finished yet.
"I do not ever want to feel the way I did last night ever again", he proceeded to say. "If we're gonna continue doing this I at least need to know that I'm the only one. If you can't promise me that then I can't be in this, whatever this is, with you. I don't ever want to hear you mention Dan's name in my presence. I hated that guy before and now I hate him even more. So if you have any respect for me, please, never mention his name again. You can dwell on your past as much as you want but I'm done hearing about that part. I'd rather be kept in the dark."
"Regarding what I said before you left, about considering me. I'm taking that off the table. For now. Given what has happened it is quite obvious that you're not ready for that kind of commitment. So forget I said anything about that and I won't mention it again."
I could feel my stomach sinking. I didn't know why I was disappointed by the fact that he'd rescinded his offer. A week ago it hadn't been a choice I'd been willing to make. So why did I feel so glum about not getting to make the choice?
But I wasn't in a position to be asking anything from him so I just nodded in acknowledgement of what he'd said.
"And that was all I had", he concluded. "What are your thoughts on what I've just said?
He looked at me, looking both expectant and utterly nervous at the same time. I could feel my mouth go dry. I then proceeded to speak.
"First of all, thank you for even talking to me after what I put you through last night, and things I've done prior to that to make you feel bad. To make you feel like I didn't care. Even though what happened last night wasn't something I'd planned or even wanted to happen, I'm guilty for not having removed myself from the situation. I know what I promised you and I had every intention of keeping that promise. Still I failed and I understand if you can't trust me now."
I paused, briefly considering what I should say next. He looked expectantly at me, urging me to go on.
"I know that I've treated you poorly. I know I warned you that I wouldn't be able to give you what you wanted, but that doesn't make up for the lack of respect I've shown you. It has never been my intent to hurt you. I've just been so in my head about my past that I've been scared of letting my guard down, to let that happen to me again. I'm sorry for the hurt that it has caused you. I probably shouldn't have pursued you back then. But I'm selfish. I can't imagine myself without you now, and I think you know that. And I want you to know it has never been a question of me choosing between you and… Dan", I hesitated before speaking his name. However, Edward did not respond to hearing his name in any particular way so I continued.
"This has always been a question of me choosing between you and protecting myself", I stated solemnly.
"The difference between Dan and I though is that I would never hurt you. I would cast you aside for something as stupid as going to college. I wouldn't cast you aside, period", Edward interjected heatedly.
I nodded at him, not having the energy to get into a discussion regarding the fact that we were both only seventeen and there were no warranties regarding how long we'd be together or if it would even last.
"I know you would never hurt me. However, to me there's a big difference between being able to hypothetically think that you'd never hurt me and to actually feel it and be able to let my guard down. That's the problem for me", I replied.
"Yeah, I've understood as much", he mumbled and looked down into his lap.
"I know I'm a mess to be around. I'm well aware of the fact that I'm not easy to read or easy to be around. If you were smart you'd stay the hell away from me", I proceeded to say.
"Too bad I'm dumb then", he said glumly, without looking at me.
"Well, at least you're not an egocentric asshole who's too in her own head to grasp the effect her actions have on other people", I solemnly replied.
He looked at me, worried by what I'd just said.
"Don't. You don't get to feel sorry for me after what I've done", I intercepted him. "I know I don't get to say this after how I've treated you, and I will never speak of it again if you ask me to, but I'm trying to be transparent here", I said and stared down at my hands that were trembling slightly.
I could feel his eyes burning on me, anticipating what I was about to say.
"I'm sorry for being so out of touch with my emotions that I couldn't say that I missed you. I missed you every day when I was in Phoenix. I wanted to call you every night. I wanted to talk to you every day. And I couldn't wait to get back to Forks."
"So why didn't you? Call me, I mean. Why didn't you tell me?" he interrupted me.
"Because I was afraid of how you'd interpret it after what you said just before I left. I still didn't know how I felt about it and I didn't want you to think that I'd made up my mind when I hadn't."
"Well, it sure as hell wasn't better feeling like you didn't miss me at all. I'd taken the false hope over that any day", he said gloomily, still not meeting my eyes. I didn't know how to respond to that.
"That's just the thing. I'm so scared to act that I've fucked this up because of it. And I don't know how to shake the feeling."
"You didn't have a problem acting on your feelings when you were with Dan", he said accusingly.
I cringed at the notion of me "being with" Dan.
"I know you can never know for sure that what I'm saying is the truth. But I did not kiss him and I couldn't have. I temporarily froze when he hugged me and I was thrown back in time. But don't think I've even considered the thought of rekindling that relationship. All I could think of was that what I was doing was wrong and that he wasn't the one I wanted to be with at that moment. It's you", I insisted.
"You have a funny way of showing me", Edward answered coldly.
"I know I'm a fucking idiot, believe me. I will be feeling bad about this for a long time. But I care for you. I know I've been the one calling the shots since the beginning, but I'm not doing that anymore. Tell me what you want and I'll do it. You want to hold my hand at school? Go for it. I don't fucking care what people think we're doing. You want to talk about me to your siblings? Do it. Tell them all about what an asshole I am so that they can tell you to get rid of me, for your sake."
"They kind of already know that you're an asswhole", Edward mumbled, slightly smiling.
I could feel my cheeks turning red with embarrassment. Yet, I deserved this too. And of course they knew. He was so close with his siblings that I should have realized sooner that they probably knew all about us.
"Good. They should know what an idiot their brother is hanging out with", I stated briefly. "I am all in, Edward."
He jerked his head up, suddenly staring at me incredulously.
"What are you saying?" he asked hesitantly, not quite believing what I'd said.
"As I said, I am in no position to say this and I will never speak of this again if you tell me to shut up. But I'm in. That's what I was going to say to you before I went ahead and fucked everything up. I'm in", I said, my voice trembling.
"You shouldn't be saying this just because you're feeling guilty about what happened", he objected, not trusting my intentions being honest.
"I'm not. I know this would have been a whole lot easier to believe if I hadn't done what I did, but it is what I was planning on saying to you today. I don't know what we are or what we'll be. But I know that you've become a very important person in my life in a short matter of time. And I have to stop being such a fucking coward and try to let myself explore what this is. If that's what you still want, that is. I know that you said you'd taken it off the table and I completely see why you wouldn't trust me now. But if we're going to be completely honest, well, then I had to say this to you", I said, rushing my words. God, I was so nervous at the possibility of being rejected, even if I probably deserved it.
"It's on the table", he quickly replied, his voice breaking somewhat.
"It is?"
"It is. I'm probably an idiot for saying this, but it is. I'm all in, if you are", he said and looked at me inquisitively.
"Let's do it", I said, beaming at him. I was overcome by emotion and I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes for the hundredth time today.
"Oh stop it, Bella", he croaked, his voice uneven. "If you cry any more I'm going to start feeling bad, and I haven't even done anything wrong."
I nodded nervously at him and then felt my eyes spilling over. This was too much emotion for me to bear.
And then he finally reached for me, enveloping me in his embrace.
"You are fucking hopeless, you know that?" he muttered jokingly into my hair, stroking my back at the same time.
"I know", I managed to say, and then proceeded to sob even louder, but smiling with relief at the same time. Even though things had gone a lot better than I could have hoped my head was still a big jumble of feelings. I still felt like I'd been on the verge of losing him.
He hugged me tighter and I could feel him breathing me in.
"I've been going crazy without you this week. This has been the worst spring break ever", he whispered into my hair.
"Agreed", I replied and burrowed my nose into his neck. I never wanted to let go of him.
We sat like that for a long while, locked in a steady embrace, breathing one another in.
Suddenly, without saying a word, I felt his hand pressing on my shoulders, urging me to lie down on the bed.. I complied and lay down on my back. As soon as I'd lain down he proceeded to crawl on top of me, covering my mouth with kisses. I hungrily responded to his kisses and put my arms around his neck, willing him to come closer. He shifted his weight on top of me and then settled himself between my legs. As his pelvis connected with mine I could feel through his trousers that I wasn't the only one aroused. He then proceeded to rub his pelvis against mine, causing me to ache for him at my very core.
I could feel my body growing weak and my breath getting ragged as he grinded on top of me. I dug my nails into his shoulders and pressed my face against his shoulder. He suddenly tugged at the hem of my sweater and he then rapidly snaked a hand up under my sweater, fondling my left breast. I gasped at the sensation, at last realizing how used I'd gotten to having him like this and how much I'd missed it while I was away.
He suddenly rolled off me and got up sitting on his knees. Still without saying a word he gently proceeded to pull off my sweater and unbutton my jeans. He promptly pulled off my pants and then dropped them both on the floor next to the bed. He then reached for me, urging me to sit up. I once more complied and sat up, wrapping my arms around my knees. As I leaned forward he snuck his arm around my back and unhooked my bra. I hesitated when he started pulling at it. It was still daylight outside and even though we'd done this dance on numerous occasions in the dark of the night I couldn't help but feel selfconcious by the thought of him undressing me without the lights being off.
"It's nothing I haven't seen before", he whispered and kissed my shoulder.
I still hesitated.
"This is nothing compared to what I'll be doing to you soon", he murmured, trailing kisses down my arm.
I felt my face flush a crimson red at his words.
He smiled cheekily and then swiftly removed my bra and threw it on the floor. He then placed his hand on my sternum and laid me down on my back once more. Once I was lying on my back he trailed kisses between my breasts and then went on to trailing kisses down my stomach. Once he reached the lining of my panties I felt a shiver run through my body.
But he didn't stop. Instead he firmly hooked his fingers and with one swift pull he removed them. He had now removed all my clothes. I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling, my emotions conflicted. A part of me wanted to crawl under the covers to shield myself from his gaze. But another part of me wanted him to completely devour me. I succumbed to the latter part of me.
Without hesitating Edward slithered down the bed and then gently placed his hand between my thighs. He then carefully parted them, urging me to bend my knees for him. I happily obliged. He placed a couple more kisses on my hip bones and the insides of my thighs before getting down to business.
"Just try to relax", he whispered and then slid his hand up my thigh.
He stopped just by my slit and lightly let his hand glide over it. I drew a sharp breath, but tried to remain calm. Without missing a beat he then proceeded to part my lips with one finger, letting it slide up and down along my slit. I was practically dripping for him and I heard him sigh heavily. He let his finger glide along my slit once more and then gently let it slide inside of me. I tensed up at the sensation of his finger inside me and he gently stroked my leg, willing me to relax. As he'd slid his finger all the way in he then slowly started pumping his finger and then gradually quickened the pace. I could feel myself clenching around his finger and I struggled to remain still on the bed. He took a hold of my thigh, dragging me closer to him.
Just as I thought I couldn't take any more I could suddenly feel his mouth on me. He teasingly let his tongue slide along my slit and then stopped at the hard nub that was hidden between my lips. He formed his tongue into a pointy shape and then savagely rubbed it against me. As if by their own will I could feel my thighs clench around his head, drawing him in deeper, and I let a high-pitched moan slip out of me. He seemed to be encouraged by my intense response and he pressed his mouth down on me even harder, his fingers pumping in and out of me. I could feel my body getting heavier and more tense every second and I knew I wouldn't last long.
When he suddenly slipped one more finger inside me I was a goner. I tried to smother my cry as I climaxed, not knowing if we were still alone at home, and I grabbed his hair, pulling desperately at it. I arched my back, pressing myself hard at his mouth and he hungrily grabbed hold of my thighs, not letting me budge an inch. When the last tremors of pleasure intermittently rippled through my body he finally let go of me and climbed up to lie down next to me. I shifted my body, burying my face against his neck, my body still shivering from his touch. He placed a kiss at the top of my head and at the same time letting his hand slide down my stomach. His touch made my skin cover with goosebumps.
"That was so hot", he whispered into my hair. "Watching you let go like that. It was amazing."
I smiled shyly at him, not really knowing how to respond to what he'd just said.
"Did you enjoy it?" he whispered and then proceeded to give me a deep kiss before I could answer.
"Very much", I replied once he'd released me from his kiss.
"Good, because I'm not done yet", he breathed unevenly and kissed me once more. I shuddered at the promise and gently stroked his cheek. He smiled at me and pressed a kiss against my forehead. He then rolled up on top of me and gently positioned himself between my legs.
He then leaned in, putting his mouth next to my ear. "Is this okay?" he whispered.
"Yes", I breathed heavily.
He went on to place himself at my entrance.
"And this?" he whispered, slowly sliding inside me.
"Yes, yes", I answered raggedly, pressing my pelvis closer to him, urging him to fill me up entirely. He took my response as an invitation and proceeded to thrust himself deep inside of me with full force. I gasped at the sensation of him stretching me out entirely and I took a firm grip on his shoulders.
"How about this? You like that?" he asked, pulling out almost entirely and then plunging himself back into me.
"Yes", I moaned, digging my nails into his shoulders, probably drawing blood.
"What? I didn't quite catch that?" he said and fiercely thrust himself into me again.
"I said yes", I moaned, my body writhing under the weight of his.
Without saying another word he proceeded to thrust himself in and out of me at a quick pace. As I was approaching my climax I could sense myself clenching tighter and tighter around him.
"Oh my God", he breathed. "For fucks sake, relax a little. You're gonna make me come too soon", he groaned through his teeth and grabbed my left breast, firmly, squeezing it.
This however only made me lose control of myself even more and I could feel my walls clamping down on him even tighter. He let out a hoarse moan and buried his face against my shoulder.
"Do that one more time and I'm finished", he groaned against my neck.
"You mean this?" I replied teasingly and clenched my core around him.
"You're evil", he groaned and then proceeded to pump in and out of me uncontrollably. Just as he moaned loudly and collapsed on top of me I could feel myself climaxing. Edward, being the selfless guy that he was, continued to thrust himself in and out of me, even though I could tell he was on the verge of self-destruction. As my walls clenched around him again and again he let out pained moans, panting for air.
When we'd both at last found our release he remained on top of me and inside of me, not moving an inch. Even though he was quite heavy I didn't want him to roll off me just yet.
"Now there's only 23 more hours to go", he suddenly whispered into my ear.
"What do you mean?" I asked, curious about what he was referring to.
"I promised I'd stay inside you for 24 hours straight once you got back", he said, raising himself on one elbow. "I hope you didn't think I was bluffing? Because you're in for a rough ride, baby."
I blushed at his words and I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
"Of course I didn't. A deal's a deal", I laughed and kissed him. He smiled at me and kissed me right back.
"I don't know what we're going to do once Charlie comes knocking, but I guess we'll have to figure it out", he added cheekily.
"I suppose we will", I laughed and kissed him one more time.