Chapter 50

"Bigmouth strikes again"

Bella's POV

I heard the sound of the doorbell downstairs and I gave my reflection one last once-over. Not too shabby, Isabella Swan. Not at all. I hurriedly slipped on the silver flats that Rose had chosen for me. At first she'd been insistent that I wear high heels to emphasize how great my legs looked in this dress, but in the end she'd agreed that if I wanted to survive the evening without spraining an ankle I should probably just go for a pair of flats. Hopefully I'd make it through the night without falling on my ass. I reached my purse and then headed downstairs. As I descended the stairs I found Edward and Charlie having an animated conversation.

"I'm just saying that he should have never left the Red Sox", Edward insisted lightly.

"Get back to me when you've lived another ten years or so and actually know a thing or two about baseball, kid", Charlie replied jokingly.

"I will and then you'll have to admit that I was right all along", Edward persisted teasingly.

"Well, if you just…" Charlie started but then trailed off as he noticed me standing at the bottom of the stairs. He was practically gawking.

Edward, having noticed Charlie's reaction, also turned to look my way.

"Wow, you look wonderful", Edward said breathlessly, smiling blissfully at me. I felt the corners of my mouth turning upwards as his words hit me with full impact.

"Yeah, you look great, Bella", Charlie agreed and shot me a pale smile, looking almost sad.

"Thanks", I replied sheepishly and treaded down the last couple of steps.

"Do you have to grow up so fast?" Charlie grumbled jokingly, "It feels like it was yesterday when Renee and I brought you home from the hospital and now I feel like you're days away from moving out."

His words made my heart twinge with melancholy for a brief minute and I smiled empathetically at him. We were both aware of the fact that he'd missed a lot of my childhood and that he hadn't been present for the majority of the milestones that I'd had so far in my life. It made me wonder what he'd felt all these years, missing out on his one daughter's childhood.

"I'll try to fail a couple of classes then so that they make me retake junior year", I said teasingly and shot him a mischievous look. He smiled at me in return.

"I'd be okay with that if that means I get to keep you one more year", he replied warmly.

"But before I forget!" he suddenly exclaimed, "I promised your mother that I'd take a couple of hundred pictures before you head off to prom or else I'm sure she'll have my head."

I sighed quietly and looked inquisitively at Edward. Would he get us out of the photoshoot? Absolutely not, by the look on his face.

"Come on, Bella. I want those hundred pictures too to remember this evening", Edward urged me charmingly. He looked at me beseechingly. How could I deny such a humble and earnest request?

"Oh, alright then", I moaned and readied myself for torture.

When Charlie had taken the pictures he'd promised Renee, he finally let us go. As we sat in the car on our way to the venue where the prom was being held I could sense my own nervousness creeping up on me. I'd never been a big fan of attention but I figured that my arrival to the prom along with Edward would cause quite a few people to turn their heads.

"Man, that dress, Bella", Edward sighed blissfully and smiled, still keeping his eyes on the road, "It makes me wanna fast-forward this evening to the part where we're back in your room."

I felt my face fluster as I smiled awkwardly at him.

"I think you'll appreciate what's underneath the dress too", I said teasingly.

"I always have before", he replied, sounding pleased.

"Well, there might be something a bit more exciting than usual underneath all of this fabric", I added mysteriously.

He turned to look at me and smiled widely.

"I definitely don't feel like going to prom anymore", he mumbled, his voice hoarse and low, "Let's just book a hotel room instead and I'll spend the next couple of hours fullfilling every fantasy you've ever had."

I felt my cheeks go from a slight pink to a heavy crimson red and at the same time I felt my pelvis clench tight. At least my body wanted nothing more than for Edward to sweep me off to a hotel room and ravage me.

"How about it, Swan?" he inquired boldly.

"I'd love that", I admitted dreamily and smiled at him, "But Rose and Emmett will miss us. And I'm sure other people will notice we're missing too. I can't risk someone mentioning to Charlie that we weren't there."

I smiled unhappily at him.

"You're probably right", he sighed resignedly and turned his eyes back to the road, "Damn these smalltowns and all their gossip."

I nodded in agreement.

"Let me at least insist on taking you home early so that we can proceed to give in to our carnal desires?" Edward persisted, his voice still husky and low.

"That I can do", I answered, smiling brightly at him.

"The things I'll do to you, Swan", he replied candidly, making me laugh.

Once we'd arrived at the venue my self-conciousness had worn off more or less instantly. Yes, we had been pretty much stared out once we'd stepped through the doors. Still, I didn't mind the looks that much with Edward, Rose and Emmett by my side. Their company felt like a shield against the undesired attention and after a while I forgot all about it.

"Isn't this everything you've ever dreamed of?" Rose inquired happily as we watched Edward and Emmett shuffling around eagerly on the dancefloor.

"Everything and more", I replied earnestly and smiled at her.

She smiled back at me. Once more I was happy to have Rose as my friend. And Emmett for that matter, even though he was a bit of a diamond in the rough. However, their company didn't make me feel comfortable enough to dare to approach the dancefloor and Edward had to persuade me for a good hour before I reluctantly joined him on the dancefloor. Yet again my fears had been unnecessary. Edward moved so gracefully on the dancefloor that somehow he managed to rub off some of it on me. I hardly felt clumsy at all as I moved across the dancefloor in sync with him, which was a rather unusual sensation to me.

"Can I take you home soon?" Edward whispered in my ear as we moved slowly to the tunes of "Flightless bird, American mouth".

I smiled at his eagerness.

"Aren't you having a good time?" I whispered back teasingly.

"I'm having a great time. But we both know we'll have an even better time once we're back in your bed", he murmured audaciously into my ear.

I felt a shiver run along my spine as his lips grazed my ear. For a brief minute my thoughts went foggy and all I wanted was for him to take me back home. And that was all it took to make me lose my recently acquired grace.

"Ow!" I cried out as I managed to twist my ankle in the wrong direction, making it produce a faint popping sound as it twisted. I'd heard that sound about a hundred times before. At least it felt that way.

"Hey, are you okay?" Edward demanded, his voice worried as he held on to me and steadied me.

"I think I've sprained my ankle. I know I have", I complained miserably.

"Yes, I figure you'd have some experience in that department", Edward replied unhappily as he put his arm around my waist to steady me as I was limping.

As he held me I became aware of the fact that people around us had stopped dancing and were observing us curiously.

"Please, get me out of here", I whispered awkwardly to him.

"Consider it done", Edward said smugly and then surprised me by lifting me up in his arms and carrying me across the dancefloor.

It wasn't exactly the discreet exit I'd been hoping to make and I could feel even more eyes on us now. Still, I wasn't left with that many options, being a hopeless klutz.

"Oh my god! Why don't they just get a room already?" I heard Jessica complain loudly to Lauren who was standing next to her.

"Yeah, some people have no class", Lauren agreed, her voice disapproving. I wanted to smack both of them senseless.

"See? Even Jessica Stanley thinks we should get a room", Edward whispered teasingly to me and I could feel my face flush.

"Shut up", I growled at him as he pushed open the doors.

He smirked at me as he carried me out onto the terrace. He then sat me down on the balustrade and knelt to examine my ankle.

"May I?" he said teasingly as he reached for my foot.

I rolled my eyes at him and shoved my foot into his hands.

"Heal me, please", I sighed, annoyed by the fact that my clumsiness had put an end to this incredible evening.

"Let's see what's the damage", Edward said lightly as he studied my ankle. His fingers touched my ankle softly and he bent it slightly to the left and then to the right.

"Ow", I moaned, doing my best to conceal my displeasure.

"Well, the verdict is in - it is most definitely sprained", he concluded matter-of-factly and sat down on the balustrade next to me.

"Damn it", I swore angrily and threw my head back, "Why do I always have to be so clumsy?"

I turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry for ruining this evening. I know how much you wanted to do the whole prom thing", I said glumly.

He smiled at me and shook his head slightly.

"This night has been everything I wished for and then some", he said happily and leaned in to kiss me. He ran his fingers through my hair as he held on to me and the touch of his hand made me shudder.

"And it's not like I wasn't aware of the fact that I was taking a girl who's basically movement impaired to prom", he whispered teasingly as he let go of me and pulled back.

I laughed and shook my head at him.

"Well, I can't argue with that", I agreed, still laughing at his remark.

He smiled lovingly at me and ran his hand along my arm.

"Anyhow, I should probably go and try to find some ice to put on that ankle before it starts to swell", he said and stood up. He looked at me for confirmation.

"That would probably be good, yes", I conceded.

"I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere", he said mockingly as he headed back inside.

"Shut up, Edward Cullen", I growled and I could hear him chuckle as he disappeared through the door.

I sat on the balustrade and watched my classmates still dancing through the window. They all looked so happy and full of life. Not that they didn't look full of life on a regular day, but there was something special about prom. Undoubtedly there was some kind of magic that lay over a night like this. Tonight had been perfect. Me, Edward, the prom itself. Everything about this evening had been perfect. Even though I was a hopeless klutz, the rest of the evening had been nothing short of amazing.

I suddenly felt my phone vibrate in my purse. Maybe it was Renee who'd let her curiosity get the best of her and then decided to call to see how the night was progressing? Still, it was a bit weird, even for Renee. As I fished out my phone out of my bag my guess was proven to be wrong. Caller unknown. I stared at the display momentarily, not able to decide if I was going to take the call or not. It seemed unlikely that Charlie would be the one calling me, even though he could be a bit overprotective at times.

"Hello? Who is this?" I finally responded, my voice faltering as I spoke.

"Hey, Bella! It's me."

"Dan?" I asked incredulously. I would have recognized that voice anywhere. It was etched in my mind forever, whether I wanted it to be or not.

"The one and only. I'm sorry for being creepy and calling you from an unknown number, but I didn't really have a choice since you've blocked my number. I borrowed Nathan's phone", he explained, his voice apologetic.

I didn't know what to answer. I'd been expecting him to call me someday in the past six months, but now that he finally had I was rendered speechless. All the great comebacks I'd been saving for this moment had suddenly gone out the window.

"Why is there bad music playing in the background? Has your taste in music changed so drastically since your move to the boondocks?" he asked jokingly.

"It's prom night", I answered breathlessly.

"Oh…", he replied and then went silent.

"Okay, so I'm going to cut right to the chase", he then continued.

Suddenly I heard loud banging on the other end of the line.

"Seriously, Dan. Get the fuck out of the bathroom and go back to your own place and sleep it off", I heard an angry voice calling in the background. Suddenly all the pieces fell into place.

"Are you drunk dialing me, Dan? Are you serious?" I snarled viciously.

"It's 10.30 pm on a Saturday night. Isn't it kind of obvious?" he replied, almost sounding as if he was about to laugh.

"I can't believe you. So what did you expect to happen when you called me? Huh? What did you think was going to happen?" I demanded angrily.

"Um, well…"

"Well fucking nothing, Dan. You're six months too late. I waited for some kind of great gesture for months. I spent months hoping you'd come around and change your mind."

"You said you never wanted to talk to me ever again, Bella. I wasn't really in a position to ask anything of you at that moment", he replied gravely.

"Yeah, well you said you didn't love me anymore. I suppose that makes us both hypocrites then", I said heatedly.

He remained quiet on the other end.

"Whatever. I don't care anymore, Dan. It's my junior prom and I'm here with my boyfriend that I'm crazy about and I shouldn't be feeling anything but joy right now. You're ruining it, Dan", I continued, my voice trembling as I was on the brink of tears.

"Bella, please. I just can't…"

"No, Dan. I just can't", I croaked angrily, "Please don't contact me again."

I then hung up the phone. For a brief minute I just stared at the screen of my phone, not knowing what to do next. I then swiftly put my phone back in my purse and clasped it shut. I took a deep breath. I was not going to let Dan ruin this evening for me. He'd already taken too much from me these past six months. I'd be damned before I'd let him ruin this perfect evening. Still, I could feel tears threatening to fall at the corner of my eye and I angrily wiped them away with the back of my hand.

"Hey? Are you okay?" I suddenly heard Edward ask, his voice apprehensive. It was as if he'd appeared out of thin air and his sudden return startled me enough to lose my balance as I sat on the balustrade, almost causing me to fall down from it. He quickly grabbed a hold of my shoulder to steady me and then studied my face anxiously. I noticed that he was holding a bag of ice for my ankle in his other hand.

"I didn't notice you getting back! You scared me", I exclaimed nervously as I grabbed a hold of the balustrade to steady myself.

"What happened?" he insisted once more, his voice brimming with concern, without letting go of me.

"I'm sorry, Edward. It was Dan drunk-dialing me. Please don't get mad at me. I've blocked his number, but he called me from a friend's phone. I didn't recognize the number, that's the only reason I picked up", I said anxiously, looking at him apologetically.

"Oh…" Edward responded, his face suddenly turning grim. He let go of my shoulder.

"Don't get mad, Edward. How was I supposed to know?" I pleaded apprehensively.

He watched me with weary eyes and shrugged his shoulders slightly. He the looked the other way.

"I just feel like… It's like every time I feel like we're doing good Dan pops up like a jack-in- the-box and makes me doubt this whole thing. Sometimes I just feel like that's never going to change", he spoke, his voice harsh and unrelenting. He still wasn't looking at me.

I stared at him incredulously, not knowing how to respond to what he'd just said. What was this?

"I don't know if I'm cut out for this", he continued sternly, still without facing me, "It seems obvious that I'll never be able to measure up to Dan, not really, so what's the point then? Why are we doing this at all?"

"What are you doing right now, Edward?" I demanded, interrupting his tirade, suddenly furious. I stared fiercely at him and I could tell by the look on his face that my reaction had surprised him.

"Because if you're trying to push me away right now you're being a fucking idiot", I continued, fuming with anger, " I spend pretty much every waking hour with you. In school, after school, in my home. I sleep next to you almost every night. I tell you everything that goes on in my head. I've told you things I haven't told anyone else. Ever. And you're afraid of some guy that's way across the country? A guy who I've blocked everywhere to avoid contact? A who I've told never to talk to me again, on several occasions? I pick you every day. I choose you. I'm in love with you. And you're going to push me away because of a stupid phone call? You're going to push me away for something so minuscule, when you know that my biggest fear is being rejected again and…"

I could hear my voice breaking as I uttered the last sentence and I paused to try to regain any sense of calm. Edward looked at me in disbelief, his mouth slightly gaping.

"I'm sorry I had a life before you", I continued hotly, "I'm sorry that my past keeps reappearing like this. I really wish it didn't. But I've been going out of my way these past few weeks to show you that you can trust me. I didn't do anything wrong tonight and still you're speaking as if you're ready to break this off? That's bullshit."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I acted rashly. I let my jealousy get the best of me", Edward hurried to say as I paused for breath, his voice brimming with remorse, "I'm sorry I let Dan get to me like this time after time. Please forgive me. Please."

He stared at me, full of regret, and reached to try to grab my hand. I raised my hands in a defensive gesture to avert his action.

"No!" I barked at him.

He let his hand fall back to his side in an act of compliance.

"I think I'm about to cry. I just want to go home now", I sniveled while wiping away tears at the corners of my eye with the back of my hand, "I don't want to cry in public."

Edward nodded anxiously.

"Okay. I'll go get the car. Just wait here", he said, sounding distressed.

He hurried away down the stairs of the porch and then hurriedly strode across the parking lot, heading in the direction of where he'd parked his car. I remained in the same place, trying to collect myself while keeping in the shadows to avoid the stares of my classmates. I didn't want to be remembered as the girl who was crying on prom night. The night was still young and the rest of the people attending the prom probably weren't even considering going home yet. I however had had more than enough of this night.

A brief moment later he pulled up at the bottom of the stairs that led up to the terrace and then came up to get me. He first tried to lift me up in his arms, but that felt way too intimate after the argument we'd just had. I silently rejected his attempt at lifting me up and only reluctantly agreed to letting him support me by leaning on him as I hobbled down the stairs to the car. He carefully helped me get in the car and then sat down in the driver's seat.

"Bella, can we just…" he started.

"I don't want to be remembered as the girl who screamed at Edward Cullen in his car on prom night. I don't want to be remembered as the girl who cried on prom night. Could you please just take me home now?" I insisted resolutely without looking at him.

I could see him nod in assent once more at the corner of my eye. Then he started the car. We drove in silence. But my head was roaring with thoughts of what had actually happened tonight. Had I done anything wrong? No, I hadn't. Did I deserve this? I sure as hell didn't. Even when I did everything right Edward still didn't seem to trust me. So yeah, what was the point of all this really?

As I was lost in thought Edward suddenly pulled the car to the side of the road and parked it.

"Bella, I love you", he blurted out as he'd stopped the car, staring blankly in front of him. "I wish I could've said it at a better time, and that I hadn't been an idiot enough to ruin this evening. But I love you. There's no one that has ever made me feel the way that you make me feel. I'm sorry that my fear of being rejected caused me to act the way I did tonight. I'm sorry I wasn't smart enough to trust you tonight."

The sound of his tormented voice was heart-wrenching and I could feel my throat go tight.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, Bella", he repeated fearfully as he held on tightly to the steering wheel ,"And it scares the hell out of me."

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed but I'm afraid of being rejected too. You know that", I retorted angrily while staring right at him ," I didn't do anything wrong tonight, yet you talk as if you're ready to leave me."

"I don't ever want to leave you", he interjected morosely.

"Well, you could have fooled me by what you said to me tonight", I rebuted angrily.

He finally turned to look at me and I could see that his eyes were brimming with tears.

"Can I please just take you home? Can I please just sleep next to you? You can be angry with me. That's okay. I just don't want this evening to end like this," he asked weakly, his eyes begging.

"What is the point of this? Why are we doing this at all if you can't trust me?" I asked resignedly, not answering his question.

"Because I'm a fucking idiot who's crazy about you", he replied unhappily, without missing a beat.

"I just feel sometimes… Sometimes I feel like you're putting too much pressure on me. On us. Sometimes you make me feel like if I'm not a hundred percent in all of the time then we might as well break this off. I just feel like I have to be a hundred percent devoted to you all of the time or else you'll think I'm still hung up on Dan. It's exhausting", I admitted tiredly.

He looked at me hesitantly.

"I'm sorry I make you feel that way", he finally said remorsefully ,"I just lose my head when I'm around you. I know that's not an acceptable excuse for me to take out my insecurities on you. I take full responsibility for the way that I am."

I nodded faintly in agreement, not knowing what to say.

"I've never done this before. I'm not used to having these feelings and sometimes that makes me act like a fucking dumbass. Still, that's not an excuse and I'm fully responsible for my actions", he continued gravely while looking at me regretfully, "But please, don't let me have ruined this by being an insecure schmuck."

I shrugged slightly.

"I'm not breaking up with you, Edward", I sighed heavily while looking tiredly at him, "But I do have some trouble seeing where this is going to lead to in the end. You seem to be doubting my sincerity and I on the other hand am exhausted by trying to be the person you want me to be."

"I don't want anything more from you than what you're willing to give me", he interjected.

"Well, that's not the way you make me feel right now", I said exasperated.

He just looked at me after that, entirely silent.

"Can you just take me home now? I want to be alone", I continued, emotionally drained by the argument we'd had.

"Yes, of course", he conceded, his voice toneless.

We drove the short remaining distance to my house in complete silence. Edward didn't look in my direction once. He parked outside my house and then sat quiet in his seat. I peered at the house, trying to determine if Charlie was awake to question me or not. I really wasn't in the mood of answering questions about this evening.

"He's asleep", Edward said solemnly, as if he'd been reading my mind.

I nodded, taking his word for it, seeing as Edward had proven historically to have some kind of sixth sense when it came to Charlie.

"Can't I please come with you?" he asked one more time, now begging.

"I just need to clear my mind alone, I think", I replied hesitantly, rejecting his request.

"But I don't want to sleep without you tonight. I don't want us to part like this", he persisted, his voice trembling now.

He reached for my hand and held it in his.

"I need some space tonight, Edward", I said dismissively and tried to pull back my hand, "You're smothering me right now."

He let go of my hand as if I'd burned him.

"I'm sorry", he said, his voice remorseful and heavy ," Can I at least help you get upstairs?"

"I'm fine, thanks", I insisted and reached to open the cardoor, "I've spent half my life limping around due to sprained ankles. Climbing stairs with a sprained ankle is one of my specialties."

I hobbled out of the car.

"I'll call you tomorrow. Okay?" I said while sticking my head inside of the car.

"Call me whenever you feel like it. Whenever. I'll be waiting", he insisted unhappily.

I nodded at him and then shut the door as silently as I possibly could. I was still hoping to avoid Charlie's questions. I looked up at Charlie's window and luckily his light was still turned off.

I'd hoped that Edward would have accepted my dismissal and left instantly after I'd gotten out of the car, but he remained outside of my house as I limped in the direction of the front door. It was humiliating knowing he was watching me hobble like a clown and I wished he'd just leave before I managed to tumble over.

Fortunately I managed to get to the front door without embarrassing myself further and I hurriedly unlocked the door and then firmly closed it behind me. For a long minute I just leaned against it, trying to catch my breath. I then stumbled over to the stairs and hobbled upstairs, slightly less graceful than I had been while trying to get inside. I just didn't care now. All I wanted was to lie down in my bed and pull the covers over my head.

I quietly closed the door to my room behind me. Then, without really knowing why, I limped over to my window and latched it shut. It wasn't as if I really thought that Edward would disregard my wishes and show up unannounced by my window. Still, some unconscious part of me at least seemed to consider it a possibility and I felt myself relax as I'd secured the window. I pulled the curtains shut and then threw myself on the bed. I kicked off my shoes and then unzipped my dress and wiggled out of it as I was lying down. I let it fall to the floor and then crawled down under the covers. I felt a bit awkward and exposed, lying alone in my bed in the alluring underwear I'd worn for Edward this evening. Things really hadn't turned out the way I'd thought they would tonight. Not at all.

Still, I didn't have enough energy left to get up and change into something more comfortable. I didn't even have the energy to wash off my makeup or brush my teeth. Seeing as I would be sleeping alone tonight none of that mattered anyway, I thought glumly to myself. I probably would've cried if I hadn't been so exhausted by all the emotions I'd gone through this evening. I was emotionally drained.

Just as I was dozing off I suddenly heard my phone vibrating in my purse that was lying next to me in bed. At first I decided to ignore it, seeing as it was probably Edward texting me to ask one more time if he could come over. He could not. But in the end I decided it would be too cruel to leave him hanging without a reply until tomorrow. At least I could do that. As I picked up my phone I instantly realized that I'd been wrong. It wasn't Edward texting me.

I'm sorry for tonight. But I will love you forever.