Chapter 52
"I just called to say I love you"
Bella's POV
I'd been reading the text Edward had sent me over and over again for an hour since I'd woken up, not sure of what I should do next. I'd heard my phone buzz late last night, but I'd decided not to touch it anymore after the text I'd received from Dan. I hadn't responded to Dan's text and I wasn't going to. Instead I had deleted it and I'd decided to pretend as if I'd never read it. No matter what happened between Edward and I after yesterday's argument it wasn't a path I was willing to tread. He messed with my head more than enough when we'd last encountered each other and I wasn't going to pry into Pandora's box.
Regarding Edward's text, I figured the compassionate thing to do would probably be to just pick up the phone and end his misery. It was easy for me to imagine Edward going over what had transpired last night over and over again, until he reached the brink of madness. He'd bared his throat to me by sending this text and it would be cruel for him to wait for a reply for too long. I figured he was wallowing in anguish and despair right now.
However, a part of me was still angry and hurt by the things he'd said to me last night. At the bottom of my heart I was pretty sure that he hadn't meant the things he'd said to me about breaking up with me. I knew that he cared for me deeply and there had been nothing hinting at the fact that he wanted to break things off, not before last night at least. Still, the feelings his words had triggered in me weren't as easily forgotten. Suddenly I was thrown back to the same feelings I'd been having in November, when Dan had callously dumped me. I was being rejected again and suddenly it was as if the wound in my chest had never truly healed. It was as if the gash was torn open once more and I could feel all the familiar feelings rushing over me again. Desperation. Hopelessness. Grief. Anger. Emptiness. It was a thousand deaths.
I hadn't thought him able to toss me aside so easily, yet as he spoke the tone of his voice rang familiar in my ears. It was the same raw callousness that had been in Dan's voice when he rejected me back in November. The fear of being left behind washed over me all over again just as I sat on my bed thinking of it. The feeling of abandonment made me sick to my core and I could feel my stomach turn. And what made me even angrier was the fact that he most certainly knew how his words would strike me. I hadn't made it a secret that I was afraid of entering a new relationship due to my previous dating history. He'd been well aware of my fear of being rejected and how it'd all had happened. And still he'd said those things. Even if he hadn't been able to calculate with complete accuracy how his words would affect me I was certain that he'd been able to imagine a scenario pretty close to what had happened last night. And he'd done it anyway. I had every right to be angry and hurt.
But regardless of my feelings it had to be done. I couldn't avoid him forever, even though my mind kept telling me to buy a one-way ticket back to Phoenix and block his number. I had to call him. Before I had time to change my mind I picked up my cell phone and quickly found his number in my callers list. I pressed the dial button. Only half a signal went through before he picked up, not giving me enough time to figure out exactly what I was going to say.
"Bella?" he inquired, his voice anxious, as he answered the phone.
"Hey. It's me", I said nervously. I could feel my palms getting sweaty.
"Hi", he answered, sounding relieved.
"I'm sorry for not replying to your text last night. There was no hidden message in me not responding. I didn't read it until this morning", I explained nervously.
"It's fine. I supposed you'd be asleep", he replied calmly.
"Uhm, okay then."
"I just felt like it needed to be said then and there", he added, his voice now anxious.
"Okay… Well, I'm still sorry for not responding instantly. It's not the kind of message you want to have to wait for an answer for hours on end. So, I'm sorry", I offered apologetically.
"It's fine. As I said, I didn't expect an answer from you directly anyway, no matter the reason", he insisted joylessly.
"Okay. Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to meet up and talk. Maybe we could go for a walk?"
I heard him sigh heavily on the other end.
"Is this going to be the kind of talk you wouldn't want, let's say, family present for?" he asked at last, his voice sounding profoundly unhappy.
His question confounded me. What was he really asking?
"What? I don't get it?" I asked confused.
"Well, I guess what I'm asking is if you're considering breaking up with me and that's why you want to meet somewhere private?" he explained, his voice still gloomy, predicting doom.
I sighed, irritated. Could we please have one day when he didn't completely overthink everything and expect the worst? Could he for once not think the worst of me?
"No, Edward, that's not what I'm saying", I snapped at him angrily, "But you behaved like a jackass yesterday and we're going to talk about that today, because that's what normal couples do when they've had an argument. And I'd rather not have that conversation here in my room with Charlie and Billy watching the game downstairs. I want to be able to raise my voice at you and possibly call you a couple of bad names without risking my dad overhearing. So could you for once not jump to conclusions and assume you know every little thing that goes on in my mind? Could you for once stop anticipating the worst possible outcome?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm like this when it comes to us", he responded unhappily.
I instantly felt bad for having raised my voice at him.
"I'm sorry. That came out harsher than I meant for it to sound", I apologized.
"That's fine, Bella. I've deserved it", he replied solemnly, "So where should we meet?"
"Um…" I started hesitantly. My knowledge of good places for taking a stroll in private in Forks was quite limited.
"Maybe by the beach in La Push? I imagine the waves might drown out some of the shouting?" he went on jokingly.
I couldn't refrain from smiling at his witty remark.
"La Push will be fine. Meet you there in an hour?"
"I could pick you up if you'd like? You know how much I dislike the thought of you driving around in that old death trap", he proposed attentively.
"I'll meet you there in an hour", I replied, firmly rejecting his offer.
It wasn't as if I was planning on starting a big fight or anything. Of course I was going to speak my mind, but I was still hoping that we'd be on good terms once we'd finished our argument. That we'd still be together. Still, I didn't want to risk being at his mercy for a ride home if things didn't turn out the way I'd planned and there was no way I'd ask Charlie to pick me up, having to explain why I'd been stranded at the beach. I wanted to have the option to come and go as I pleased.
"Okay then", he responded gravely, "I'll see you there."
"See you soon".
I then hung up. I took a quick shower and then hurried to put on some decent clothes. I didn't bother to put on any makeup, assuming that I'd be ruining it by crying later on. Luckily Charlie was out once I got downstairs and I left him a note on the fridge saying that I'd left to run a couple of errands. Seeing as I was responsible for making sure we had groceries and other necessities at home I knew it wasn't something that Charlie would question or consider suspicious. I then headed out.
Edward stood waiting for me by his car as I arrived at La Push beach. I took a deep breath before I steeled myself and opened the car door. This was going to be fine. We were not going to break up and he wasn't going to leave me, I reassured myself. We were going to argue some and then we'd be fine again. This was not going to be the end.
"Hey", I said hesitantly as I got out of my car. I closed the door behind me and then turned to face him.
"Hi", he replied, his voice solemn. He looked tired and pale, his hair tousled and his clothes a bit wrinkly. His appearance concerned me somewhat. Edward was usually the definition of neatness and seeing him like this caught me off guard. I hadn't seen him disheveled like this in a long time. Not since that time when he'd picked me up from the airport when I last returned from Phoenix.
"So… Should we talk?" he asked hesitantly and gestured towards the beach.
"Sure. Let's go for a walk", I replied nervously and started walking towards the beach.
He joined me, but respectfully kept his distance. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest as I was gathering enough confidence to speak. It was a cloudy day and the winds were blowing strong. I briefly thought of what the weather would be like back in Phoenix right now. I bet it was sunny and warm and not a cloud in sight. I momentarily pondered how Dan was feeling today before I swiftly chucked the thought away. Whatever he was feeling he'd deserved it.
"So I was a bit of a jerk yesterday", Edward began falteringly.
I only nodded in assent to what he'd proposed, looking straight ahead. I couldn't bear to look at him. I supposed some part of me was still afraid that he'd give me the same cold stare he'd given me last night. And I couldn't take that. I just couldn't.
"I was a total dick, in fact", he went on gravely.
"You were", I agreed, my voice breaking at the end.
I could sense him observing me with an anxious look on his face. But I still couldn't bear to look at him. I knew I'd lose my stride and all that I'd been planning on saying if I did. And he deserved to hear it.
"I'm sorry for the way that I spoke to you. That was not okay, at all", he added remorsefully, slightly shaking his head as he spoke, "I'm ashamed by the way I acted last night."
I finally halted and turned to face him. He stopped immediately and turned to look at me.
"It was completely unfair. You did nothing to deserve that. And all those things I said about not seeing the point in us being together, that was only my fear of losing you speaking. It couldn't have been further from the truth", he went on, his voice heavy with guilt and anxiety, as he held my gaze.
I felt my throat clench tight and my eyes water when hearing him speak those words.
"I love you. More than I have ever loved anyone. I would never even consider leaving you. I couldn't even if I wanted to. It was a shitty thing for me to do, threatening you like that when I know that you have abandonment issues. I know that I must have made you feel terrible for saying that. And what's even more idiotic is that none of it was true, not at all. I can't even imagine myself without you anymore. And I'm so sorry I made you think that I could", he said unhappily and reached to grab my hands.
He looked at me intently, waiting for a response, as he gently cradled my hands in his. The mere sensation of his skin made my heart thump and I could feel my eyes brimming with tears. I knew that if I met his gaze I wouldn't be able to stop myself from crying. Tears of… anger? Relief? Instead I chose to look away, fixing my eyes on the thrashing waves. I felt him squeeze my hands, begging me to respond to what he'd just said.
"The thing is, I'd get it if you left me, you know", I finally said wistfully, slightly shaking my head as I peered out over the ocean.
He remained quiet, waiting for me to continue.
"I know that we had a rocky start, mostly because of me. I don't think it was a very good idea for me to get involved with you so quickly, but I couldn't stop myself. There was something about you that drew me in, against my better judgment, I suppose. I know that I wasn't fair to you in the beginning, but I did it anyway. I knew that you liked me, that you were hoping that our friends with benefits arrangement would turn into something else with time. I couldn't really bring myself to think about how all of this would end back then. Even though I knew what you wanted. But you grew on me in a way that I hadn't expected. Not at all. The comfort your presence gave me eventually turned into love, without me realizing it", I continued, still without meeting his gaze.
I thought I heard his breath hitch at the mention of the word "love" and I could sense him gripping my hands tighter now.
"But sometimes I just feel like the way we started this whole thing out has caused you to hold resentment towards me. Sometimes I get the feeling that you're going to hold it against me forever that I wasn't all in from the very beginning. Even though it wasn't possible for me and you knew that. I was pretty clear about that. Sometimes it feels like you're watching me, just waiting for me to make some kind of mistake that'll prove to you that I was never truly committed to this. Like I'm just waiting for Dan to take me back or something. It's like you're waiting for me to fail."
My voice was trembling as I spoke and I squeezed my lips together tightly in an attempt to keep my composure once I'd finished.
"I don't resent you, Bella. Far from it", Edward objected sternly.
"Well, yesterday you made me feel like you do. It's like I make the smallest mistake and you're ready to end this. And I can't handle that. I can't do this again. You knew my biggest fear getting into a relationship with you was being rejected. I was crushed in my previous relationship. And yesterday you made me feel like it's so easy for you to leave me", I sniveled, my tears finally spilling over.
I freed one of my hands from his grip and used the sleeve of my sweater to wipe away the tears that were flowing freely along my cheeks. I could feel the fabric of my sweater become sodden with tears as I furiously patted my face in an attempt to dry my cheeks. Still, my tears refused to stop falling.
"It's not easy. And I couldn't", he insisted remorsefully while squeezing the hand he was still holding in his. He gently tugged at my arm, trying to pull me towards him.
"That's not how you made me feel though", I objected, resisting his pull and remaining where I stood, at a safe distance from his embrace.
I knew that if I hugged him now I'd forget everything I wanted to say and it had to be said. I never wanted to feel this way ever again.
"All the things I said yesterday were because I'm afraid of losing you. And I know that I should be able to trust you. I do trust you when you say that you didn't know it was Dan calling you. I do trust you. Deep down I know better. But I acted on impulse yesterday and I'm so sorry for that. I guess it's some defense mechanism that made me pull away to save myself from being hurt by you", he said gravely.
"You can trust me. I thought I'd made that clear. You're the one that I want. There is no one else", I stated furiously as I freed my hand from his hands, "Sometimes I think you think about Dan more than I do. You're gonna have to let go of my past or this is not going to work out."
He winced at the mention of us not working out.
"I know, okay? I know this, Bella. I know that I can trust you and that I have to stop thinking that Dan is a threat to my relationship with you. In my mind I know that", he replied adamantly, "I know that this is getting old and that we won't work out if I keep this up. But I can't help slipping sometimes, comparing our relationship with what you and Dan had. Comparing myself with him. I don't want to think like that, but sometimes I just can't stop myself."
"There is no comparison. There's no competition and there is no choice between the two of you", I objected heatedly, "There has never been a choice between the two of you. There's just me and you here. I have never compared you to Dan."
"I know you haven't", he replied gloomily, "But the masochist part of me does that on its own ever so often."
I sighed at his confession. I knew I had played a part in his doubt about us. I knew that the start of our relationship had been less than ideal. Still, I wasn't going to be held responsible for this on my own. He'd chosen this too. He'd walked into this relationship knowing the circumstances fully well.
"I don't think there is anything that I can do to change that feeling", I said resignedly.
"I know it's not up to you, Bella. I'm the one that has to change", he conceded dejectedly.
I nodded in agreement. For a long while we stood staring at each other, none of us how to proceed.
"You can't do that to me ever again", I finally demanded, my voice stern.
"I won't. I promise. I will never talk to you that way ever again", he replied remorsefully as he held my hands.
"I mean it. You can't just pull away every time we hit a bump in the road. The next time you threaten to leave me you better mean it, because we will be over once you do", I demanded fiercely, trying to free my hands from his grip.
A part of me wanted for him to hold onto me forever and refuse to let go. Yet, another part of me felt that he didn't deserve to even touch me after last night. A part of me was still furious.
"I will never say anything like that ever again. Never", he said gravely, emphasizing the word never as he fought to keep my hands in his grip.
"I spent the entire night, lying awake, afraid that you actually meant some of the things that you said yesterday. The sane part of me kept saying that I know better than that, that you care for me. But the more realistic part of my mind, the one that knows how these things work, kept telling me that there's some truth to what you said. That you wouldn't have said these things if you didn't mean it on some level", I went on unhappily, finally giving in and letting him hold my hands in his.
I could feel tears burning at the corners of my eyes once more and I angrily tried to blink them away.
"That's not realistic. Not when it comes to us, Bella", he disagreed, his voice desperate and resolute, "What I said was only an expression of my fear of losing you. I was being a coward. Bella, please. You have to believe that. There was nothing true about what I said last night. There's isn't anything I want more than just to be with you."
He then reached for my hands once more and I let him take them. I slowly nodded in agreement to what he'd just said. For a brief moment we stood there, holding hands and looking at each other.
"Can I please just hold you now?" he finally asked pleadingly, "I can't stand it when we're fighting."
Without hesitation I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face against his chest, finally giving in. I'd resisted him long enough and I didn't want to torture myself, nor him, anymore. He instantly wrapped his arms around me and drew me closer to him. I felt him burying his face at the top of my head, breathing me in.
"I know I'm a fucking idiot sometimes, but I love you", he murmured fervently into my hair, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
"I love you too. Even though you are a fucking idiot", I sniveled into the fabric of his shirt.
He hugged me tighter, squeezing me so tight that I had to gasp for breath. Once he heard me gasp he loosened his grip on me.
"Sorry, I got carried away", he whispered anxiously.
"That's okay."
Minutes passed without Edward letting go of me. I could hear him breathing me in over and over again while holding me close to him. I finally pulled away from him and looked at him. He looked exhausted.
"Are you okay? You look so tired", I asked carefully.
He smiled bleakly at me and kissed my forehead. He then pulled me closer to him again.
"Yeah, these past twelve hours or so have been a bit of a roller coaster for more than one reason. I didn't sleep much tonight", he said and smiled wistfully at me. He then turned his head to look at the sea, almost as if he was avoiding further questions.
"How so?"
"Um, well… The thing is… it seems like Jasper might be coming back home", he finally answered cheerlessly and turned to look at me.
I felt confused. Wasn't that supposed to be a good thing? Didn't that imply that his brother was recovering from whatever he seemed to be struggling with?
"And that's a bad thing?" I asked hesitantly as I carefully ran my fingers through his hair in an attempt to untangle his disheveled mane.
"Well, I just don't think he's ready for it."
"Hasn't he been doing better though?", I asked as I tucked his hair behind his left ear. I then placed a kiss against his jaw. I could feel him smiling as my lips grazed his skin.
"It's not that easy, I think. Sure, he says that he's doing better, but I'm not entirely convinced", he responded dispiritedly.
"Well, what's the worst thing that could happen if he comes home too early and it doesn't work out? I mean, I'm sure he can go back if it turns out he's not ready to be living at home again yet. right?"
"I know I've never gotten into specifics with you, but things were pretty chaotic back when Jasper was living at home. I don't miss that drama. Not at all. And I don't want my parents having to go through that again. They've felt really bad for sending him away and I know they'll be devastated if they have to send him away again. In fact, I'm not even sure they could bear themselves to do it all over again."
He placed another kiss on my forehead and then rested his chin against my forehead, holding me close to him.
"I see your point. What does Rose and Emmett say about all of this? Do they want him to come home?" I asked, my face leaning against his chest.
"Rose agrees with me. She doesn't think he's ready for it either. Emmett just wants us all to be together again. I can't really blame him for that, I suppose."
I nodded in agreement, even though I didn't feel like I was actually getting the entire picture. Why was Edward so adamant about his brother not returning home? Had they parted on bad terms? I had to ask Rose about the nature of the relationship later. Maybe there were things Edward didn't want to tell me.
"I'd like to meet him. It feels kind of strange that you have a brother that I've never even met. Well, at least not officially. I saw him from afar at school a couple of times. You never talk about him", I said and pulled away to observe his reaction.
"I guess it's just hard for me", Edward said succinctly with a frown on his face, not offering me any more information on the subject.
"I get it. Still, I'd like to get to know him, if you'll let me", I persisted.
"I'm not sure that's such a great idea right now", Edward replied, his voice suddenly insistent. He had a hard frown on his face.
"Well, if he'll be living with you I'll have to meet him. Right?"
"Honestly, Bella, I don't want you around Jasper. He's been going through a lot and he's kinda messed up still. I'm sure you'll get to meet him eventually, but for now I'd rather keep the two of you apart", Edward replied brusquely, obviously trying to end the conversation. He tried to pull me closer, perhaps hoping to stop me from asking further questions.
"Okay… That sounds really weird to me, actually", I objected and pulled away from his attempt to pull me closer. I wasn't going to let this drop just like that.
"I know it does. But please, just trust me", he pleaded and looked at me beseechingly, searching for compliance. I studied his face momentarily, considering whether or not this was an argument I was willing to get into after the confrontation we'd just had.
"So what, I can't come over to your house anymore once he's back?" I demanded after deciding I wasn't going to let him get away that easily.
He groaned, probably exasperated by my stubbornness.
"That's not what I said, Bella. Of course you can come over. I'd just rather not have you around Jasper. I don't want to fight about this. Jasper is just a really complicated part of my life. I'd rather not think about it too much actually. As I said, I'm not very happy about him coming back home. Can we please not get into an argument about this?"
As he looked at me, his eyes beseeching, I fought the urge to keep going. This wasn't the first time that Edward avoided the subject and I was getting really tired of not getting the entire picture.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start a fight. I guess I'll meet him eventually", I finally agreed, even though I wasn't entirely satisfied with the non-answers he'd offered me.
This was a subject I'd be bringing up again at a more appropriate time. What was actually the big deal with Jasper? Why were they all so weird about him? Edward just nodded at me, not offering me any further confirmation.
"You can always come stay with me in case you don't want to be at home", I offered, trying to appease him.
He smiled at me and gave me a quick kiss.
"You are my home, Bella", he said as he caressed my cheek gently.
I smiled awkwardly at him, a bit overwhelmed by his sudden burst of affection. His golden eyes glittered as he returned my smile.
"But enough about my crazy brother. You wanna know what vexes me the most about how last night turned out?" he suddenly asked, his voice mischievous.
"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me."
"The fact that I fucked up my chance to get to see you take your dress off. Rumor has it that you were wearing something quite extraordinary beneath it", he said teasingly as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
The touch of his hand combined with his bold tone caused my stomach to flutter and I could feel the crimson color making its way up my neck and finally reaching my cheeks.
"Yeah, you really missed out on something because I'm never wearing sexy lingerie ever again", I admitted teasingly as I smiled at him.
"Ah, you cruel woman! You torture me", he sighed in feigned disappointment and threw his head back in a gesture of defeat.
I shook my head as I laughed at his dramatic response
.
"Well, you promised me you'd fulfill my every fantasy and that didn't happen either so I suppose that makes us even", I quipped teasingly.
"I promise to fulfill your every fantasy if you'll just wear that lingerie one more time. For me? Pretty please?", he said as he put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to him once more.
His firm hold on my hips caused a sweltering heat to form at my core. As the heat emanated from my abdomen, running down my legs, I felt my knees going weak.
"Alright, alright. Maybe I'll put it on one more time. You better make it worth my while though", I replied breathlessly as I lost myself in his eyes.
"Don't I always?" he said, his voice husky, and kissed me longingly, pulling me even closer to him by gripping my hips even tighter.
I felt my stomach clench and my mind go fussy as our lips merged in a ceaseless kiss.
"You do", I breathed, barely audibly.
The smile he gave in reply caused my knees to buckle. As if he'd anticipated my reaction I could feel him steadying me in his embrace, not allowing me to crumple into a pile of desire and desperation at his feet. As he held me pressed against him I could suddenly sense him growing hard against my stomach, causing me to gasp. He cupped my chin firmly with one hand and drew me in for another kiss while pressing himself against me. I could feel my nipples tauten as I was pressed against him and I put my right hand on his shoulder and held on to it tightly. He responded by pressing against me even tighter, capturing my lips in another searing kiss. I gasped for air when he finally released me from his kiss, my hand resting heavily at the top of his shoulder. As I opened my eyes I realized his shirt was crumpled in the palm of my hand as I desperately held on to his shoulder. I blushed at the realization and let go of his shirt, unsuccessfully trying to smooth out the fabric again.
"Maybe we should keep on walking. I'm not sure I'll be able to control myself if we remain this way", Edward groaned against the top of my head and then gently loosened his grip on me.
As I smiled sheepishly at him I could sense my face glowing blissfully. He smiled at me and reached for my hand. Then he pulled me along with him.
"So, have you decided when you're going to Phoenix this summer?" he asked curiously, breaking the enchantment of the moment we'd just shared.
I cautiously glanced in his direction and tried to examine the look on his face. Were we getting into another possible argument or was this just a simple question?
"I'll probably go sometime in July. My mom and I usually celebrate the fourth of July together, it's kind of our thing. I think she'd be disappointed if I wasn't there for it", I offered falteringly, still not sure what he was getting at with his question.
Edward nodded, his face serene. So maybe this wasn't the start of another argument?
"So, what are we going to do this summer?" he then suddenly asked while smiling cheerfully at me.
I was pleasantly surprised by his question and his eagerness. Still, I felt a bit guilty for not having included Edward in my summer plans. The only plan I had so far was visiting my mother in Phoenix and that obviously didn't include Edward.
"What did you have in mind?" I asked happily.
"Well, if it were up to me I'd whisk you off to Sicily and we'd spend the summer eating gelato and arancini in the shade of an Italian stone pine. Then we'd go swimming in the Tyrrhenian Sea and at the end of the day we'd fall asleep in each other's arms", he said dreamily and squeezed my hand as he was holding it in his.
"I wish it were up to you", I replied longingly. Just the thought of the two of us, by ourselves and far away from every daily distraction, made my heart beat faster.
"Sadly, I suppose in the end it's not. I doubt that Charlie will let me take you to Italy", Edward continued cryptically.
"I doubt that too", I agreed, disgruntled.
"However, I doubt that he'd be able to say no if my whole family were going and my parents offered you to come along", he said slyly.
"What are you saying? You couldn't ask that of your parents?", I asked incredulously.
"You'd be amazed by some of the things my parents would agree to only to make me happy", he happily objected.
"But I haven't got that kind of money, Edward", I protested.
Even if the prospect of going to Sicily with Edward was more than a little tempting I was dirt poor. My savings wouldn't even afford me a one-way ticket to Sicily.
"But I do. Please let me spend it on you?" he pleaded.
"That's too much, Edward. I can't accept that", I objected. There was no way that I'd agree to letting him pay for me.
"Please picture us strolling down the streets of Palermo. You'll be wearing a stunning sundress and I'll be the guy in a white linen suit. We'll stop for drinks at some quaint bar and a street vendor will pass, offering me to buy a rose for the ragazza bellissima I'm with. I'll buy it, even though it's unreasonably overpriced, and I'll profess my love for you under the moonlit Italian sky. What could be more glorious than that?" he urged me, "Money is no problem, if you'll only say yes."
"I can't picture that, Edward. I've never even left the United States. I haven't traveled the world like you have, you snob. And money is an issue", I replied laughing.
He rolled his eyes at me and smiled resignedly.
"No, it really isn't. Please humor me. We'll eat first class gelato and ridiculous amounts of pasta. We'll explore all the shops and buy ludicrous amounts of Italian fashion…"
"You're talking to a girl who swears by Forever 21, Edward", I interrupted him.
"Well, you'll get over it once we get there", he said, cheerfully brushing away my objection.
"Charlie would never let me go. N-E-V-E-R. And he'd never let your parents pay for me. He's way too proud to agree to that."
"I'm pretty sure that he would if my parents asked him though. He loves my parents and I think he likes me well enough. I get that there's no way he'd let us go just the two of us. But with my parents present there might be a chance", Edward said, standing his ground.
"You're crazy. There's no way this is going to actually happen", I said smilingly.
"Aren't you tempted though? I'm offering you the world here, Bella", he replied pleadingly.
"Yes, of course I'm tempted. Who wouldn't be tempted by an offer like this?" I conceded dreamily.
"That's what I'm saying. Just go with it, Bella. Don't overthink this", he insisted.
"You're still crazy."
"Well, then let me be crazy in Italy then. Call me l'uomo pazzo, if you will", he said with a wide smile on his face.
"Please let me ask my parents if we can? Pretty please?" he then begged.
How was I supposed to say no to his request when he looked at me that way, imploringly holding my hand in his? It just wasn't possible.
"Alright, alright. You can ask your parents. But please don't forget to point out to them that this was originally your crazy idea, not mine. I don't want your parents to think I'm some deluded gold digger", I said resignedly as I gave in to his wishes.
"Oh, they'd never assume you were bold enough to come up with a suggestion like this. They know I'm fully capable of coming up with stupid ideas all by myself. This is going to be so much fun!" Edward squealed excitedly and pulled me in for a kiss.
"Hold your horses. You haven't even talked to your parents yet, let alone Charlie. Let's not celebrate too soon", I protested cheerfully as he started planning our vacation.
"I suppose we'll go in August or maybe at the end of July, depending on when you get back from Phoenix. We should probably rent a house if everyone's going. Maybe somewhere near Palermo. Or maybe close to Taormina. It'll have to be a house with a swimming pool. Summer is unbearably hot in Sicily", he went on, completely ignoring my attempt at bringing him down to earth again.
I laughed at Edward already making plans, as if it was a done deal.
"Yeah, what would we do without a swimming pool?" I teased.
"Oh, come on, Bella. Let me imagine this, please. This is the stuff that dreams are made of", he pleaded happily.
"I won't say another word. I promise", I said and smirked at him.
"Thank you. Oh, Rose and Emmett will be so excited. Rose loves Italy and Emmett's happy about whatever makes Rose happy. And I'm sure my mom will be thrilled. She loves Italian architecture and Sicily has a lot to offer in that department", he went on, obviously already picturing us in Sicily.
"Is this some grand gesture in an attempt to make up for yesterday's chaos?" I asked him teasingly.
He sighed unhappily and smiled palely at me.
"Even if I took you around the world it still wouldn't make up for the way I acted yesterday", he said and offered me a bleak smile.
"Well, maybe I'll forgive you if you feed me enough gelato", I teased him smilingly and gave him a kiss.
"Or maybe you'll forgive me once I'm eating gelato off you", he quipped smartly.
I burst out laughing.
"You're hopeless, Edward Cullen."
"Get used to it, Swan. I'll continue to abash you for a long time ahead if I get my way", he said happily and kissed me once more.
I shook my head as I laughed at what he'd just said. I suspected this summer was going to be something out of the ordinary.
Author's note
Observant readers will note the deviation from canon in Edward visiting La Push. This story will not mention or focus on the treaty between the Quileute tribe and the Cullens, so there's really nothing stopping Edward from visiting La Push. There will be no angry werewolves in this story, sorry! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!