Chapter Six: Inflammation
Her quest for penicillin continued, but this time, she involved the village. Yui's requests for people to bring her moldy bread and fruit were greeted with amused indulgence. Since she could actually grow the fungi in her gelatin base, it was time to search for a better strain. Yui still had to figure out better ways to stress the fungi to produce the antibiotic, but all lasting progress was slow.
By now, the villagers had learned not to question her methods. Dr. Makoto, on the other hand, had nothing but questions. He'd spent two weeks soaking in her methods and helping her through the textbooks. Judging from the information in the books, this world had reached the equivalent of late-1800s Europe, with a few areas that were better or worse. Often, when she explained a concept with her English mishmash, Dr. Makoto would correct her with the actual term. Each time it happened, he would go quiet, tugging at his sleeves in that nervous habit of his.
He was still politely skeptical about the role of 'animalcules' and the potential of penicillium, but nothing, from the wooden stethoscopes she used to the chakra salves, was spared the brunt of his baffled enthusiasm. After her demonstration of the stethoscope, Dr. Makoto wrote down her explanation of its theory and the design for a modern, binaural one, certain that his colleagues would be as easy to convince of its potential. In contrast to that easy acceptance, her use of chakra left him utterly stunned.
"I can't believe it," he repeated for the fifth time, testing the salve between his fingers. "You're capable of healing with chakra."
"Don't they use chakra in the cities?" Judging from the textbooks he'd given her, medicine was more advanced there, so doctors should have at least some knowledge. At least, more than she did.
"Well, I suppose they do." Dr. Makoto frowned. "The best doctors can put their hands on a patient and use chakra to diagnose fluid in the lungs or a weak heart. It's simply... the secrets of chakra are reserved to the most elite master-apprentice lines. Court doctors guard their knowledge jealously."
Here again, Yui ran head first into the attitudes of this world. She wasn't surprised, but she didn't have to accept it, either. Dr. Makoto gazed longingly at her glowing hands as she made another batch.
"I can teach you chakra, too," she said as she finished kneading the chakra into the salve.
He jerked his head up so fast that his glasses almost flew off his face. "What?"
Yui shrugged. "You said you wanted to learn what I knew."
For a second, Dr. Makoto seemed almost close to tears. His lower lip trembled as the silence stretched. Then, he took a deep breath, composed himself, and bowed. "I would be honored, Yui-sensei, but…" he was still bowing as he spoke, careful with just a hint of stutter, "there is a question that I have had, that I must ask first."
"Please don't bow." She fiddled with her hands, flustered as always by his unnecessary decorum. Despite his time in the village, Dr. Makoto always kept a certain distance. He respected and deferred to her in matters of medicine, but Yui made him uncomfortable. The doctor always spoke to her, asking questions and listening, answering her when she asked—but never speaking casually, never asking anything personal or volunteering. He was a liberal man by this society's standards, but his progressiveness was hard fought and rough, the kind gained from having preconceptions battered and rearranged. "Ask away."
Dr. Makoto straightened slowly but kept his shoulders hunched, his eyes weary as he mused over his question, halting and low. "How do you know what you know?"
"My old teacher," Yui said. She'd expected his question for some time and had prepared an answer, suspecting that part of his unease was caused by the way she pushed at the boundaries of this world. "Old Anzu knew how to make chakra salves. I learned from her, though some ninja taught me tricks."
"Ninja?" he trailed off, blinking, before shaking his head. "Never mind that. It isn't the chakra I mean, or rather, not just the chakra. It's everything together."
"What do you mean?" She tried to keep her tone neutral, but Yui wasn't a good liar, even when she had time to prepare.
"How do you know all these details about medicine and science and the human body?" said Dr. Makoto. "You know ideas and facts without knowing the proper names, so you weren't taught formally by someone. Yet, your understanding equals—if not surpasses—that of foremost leaders in those fields. One or two discoveries I could put aside as a brilliant intellect or luck, but what you know…" He swallowed, his gaze drifting to the window. "I'm a man of science, Yui-sensei. I don't hold to superstitions about gods and spirits. But what you know… it's nothing short of miraculous."
She was quiet. In this case, the truth was more fantastic than the rumors. The source of her knowledge, that other world… it wasn't something that Yui liked remembering. At this point, there wasn't much she did remember beyond the practical applications. She preferred it that way, when one memory blurred into to the next, and all she had to do was focus on now.
"I don't know," she said finally. It was still the truth. Yui didn't know why or how she'd been given this second life. All she could do was live it. "I just know it."
He removed his spectacles and cleaned them with his sleeve. "Unbelievable," he murmured. "Simply incredible." The doctor looked to the side, almost reluctant. "I suppose it really is a miracle." Spoken by anyone else, it would be a compliment. Dr. Makoto said it with discontent.
Yui shrugged. While half-truthful answers didn't stop him, another question might. "Do you want to make the salve?"
Dr. Makoto straightened, all hesitation forgotten as his curiosity took a turn. "Oh, do I!"
Smiling, Yui described the routine of meditation and chakra exercises that she'd put Eiji and Sen through. In contrast to her old teacher's method, this one took even less time. Old Anzu had thrown Yui headfirst into the lake; after several months of meditation, she'd started directly with salve-making. Yui had spent six months practicing before she'd seen results. It would still take Dr. Makoto a month at the least before he produced chakra, but from the determination in his eyes, Yui knew he'd do it. Once he was able to access chakra, she'd teach him how to make the salve. And perhaps he could pass it on.
She paused in the middle of her demonstration. "Dr. Makoto, could you do two things for me when you go back to the city?"
"If it is in my power, certainly."
"Can you send me more stuff about healing and, uh, science?"
He nodded. "Yes, of course. I was planning on doing so anyway."
"Thanks," she said. "And, the other thing. Will you teach your friends how to use chakra, too?"
A gamut of emotions ran across his face, from surprise to hesitation and finally, uncertainty. It settled like that, heavy, and he didn't speak.
"Dr. Makoto?"
The doctor sighed, removing his glasses and reaching up to rub his face. "I'm so used to hoarding each trick of the trade and hiding each fought-for technique. It's still my first instinct. Hearing you say that, asking me to just share it, it's humbling." He gave her a wan smile. "Well, I'll be rewriting your book, anyway. I might as well add a chapter about chakra. Perhaps not as detailed, but it wouldn't hurt to include some basic information."
Before Yui could say anything in response, the door to the shed opened, and in strolled a ninja. Scars crisscrossed his lip, emphasizing his languid smirk. He wore simple armor, and his long, coarse hair was pulled into a high ponytail.
"Hey, Yui-san." Shikari, one of her usual ninja clients, gave a half-shrug. "Sorry to interrupt you when you're with someone else, but I think I broke my leg. Could you fix it for me?"
Dr. Makoto froze while Yui helped Shikari take a seat. After giving the doctor a dispassionate once-over, Shikari completely ignored him. Yui pulled some supplies from the shelf and began to treat him. She'd prefer to do it in the clinic, but Yui wasn't going to move him when his leg was in that state.
"It is broken. Did you walk far on it?" she asked, disapproving, as she wrapped it up.
"Yeah, unfortunately. Didn't have much of a choice."
It was a clean, closed break, and Shikari had only a few injuries, so after Yui cleaned the few scrapes and splinted the leg, he was good to go. Shikari mumbled his thanks, giving her an actual smile instead of his usual disinterested stare. He handed her a few coins from his sash and promised to bring her some rare herbs to make up the difference.
"Stay off the—" she began, and Dr. Makoto yelped when Shikari disappeared in a puff of smoke, "... leg." Yui sighed. She was all too familiar with speaking to empty air.
A moment passed, and Dr. Makoto loosened somewhat, exhaling a shaky breath. "Didn't you... say something about ninja?" he squeaked out.
"I did. I treat them, too." With a nonchalant shake of her head, she pointed at the half-finished salve. "Let's continue. I'll show you the leaf trick after this."
Dr. Makoto let out another quavering sigh, swallowing his questions for once, and Yui resumed her lesson.
Sen and Eiji had taken over much of the day-to-day treatment of the village, leaving Yui to act as a specialist for the worst cases and the village outsiders. With more spare time, she occupied herself with testing different strains of penicillium fungi to find one that actually produced the antibiotic. Dr. Makoto helped with treatment as well, but when he wasn't learning or teaching her terminology, he stayed in the other shed, trying to produce chakra.
Her older sister also took advantage of her spare time. Ume had conscripted her two youngest siblings—and anyone who would listen—to help with the logistics or at least serve as an audience for her complaints. Though there was only a week until the wedding, Ume dithered, going back and forth between different dresses and decorations and foods. The actual marriage ceremony would be private and traditional, held in the shrine with only the couple's immediate family, but there would be a celebration afterwards. Yui managed to escape the discussion with a feigned excuse (though Sen wasn't as lucky). She loved her sister, truly, but there was only so much of wedding planning she could handle.
Despite the sunshine, the weather began to hint of fall again, and Yui shivered lightly as she walked to her home. As she approached the clinic, Yui noticed a figure slumped against the wall. She hurried forward, immediately worried. Had someone collapsed outside? From exhaustion, perhaps, but the armor suggested ninja, so blood loss or something more dramatic was likely—
The man stood as she came closer, putting her fears to rest. "Yui-san!" Hashirama yawned, turning it into a half-laugh that fooled no one.
"It's good to see you again," she said, smiling. "Sorry for making you wait."
He shook his head. "No, it's my fault! I'm the one who always drops by unannounced."
Yui ushered him to the warm interior of her home. The humid air was rich with the smell of the stew and rice she'd left to simmer. After she cleared the table and tasted the food (passable, though it needed a little salt), Yui ignored his polite protests and served him a late lunch.
"I'm hungry," she said with finality. "I'm gonna eat. You better, too."
"Alright, alright. Thank you." Hashirama accepted the two bowls and chopsticks. "I feel like I'm imposing."
A smile tugged upwards on her lips. "D'you remember the first time you stayed for lunch?"
He flushed. "Yeah, well…" Hashirama scratched at his cheek, sheepish, and smiled as he glanced at her with shared amusement. The smile turned into a stifled yawn that he tried to cover up by drinking soup.
"Been sleeping well?" she asked, frowning. Through the grapevine, Yui heard that the magnitude of the Uchiha-Senju conflict had decreased to the occasion skirmish, though most considered it a temporary lull.
He laughed again, more hollow than before, and didn't reply. Hashirama took a bite of the rice and looked down, tapping his fingers lightly against his knee. He held himself with a weariness that seemed almost brittle. Murmuring a compliment, Hashirama tried a little of the stew. "It's really good," he repeated, taking another bite.
Though concerned, Yui let the silence continue as they ate, and it wasn't until after they finished that he spoke again.
"I'm being rude," Hashirama said. He put his chopsticks down and gave her another smile—a valiant effort, but Yui knew him well enough to doubt its sincerity. "What have you been up to, Yui-san?"
She shrugged. "Teaching. Making medicine. Preparing for the wedding."
He knocked over the bowl. "You're getting married?" His voice cracked, and Hashirama stared, wide-eyed. He stammered an incoherent mix between an apology and a question as he picked up the empty bowl.
"No, not me. My sister. In a week."
"A-Ah, well, I guess… I should congratulate…" It took a second for her words to register. "Oh. Oh!" His shoulders slumped. "Of course, give her my congratulations!" This time, his smile was blinding and familiar.
She raised her eyebrows but didn't dwell. "I will."
"It's quite funny," said Hashirama, still grinning. "My brother Tobirama is getting married, too. I mean, it's an engagement and the wedding probably won't happen for a while, and, well… " he trailed off, a tad sheepish.
"He is?" She smiled at his rambling and thought back to the pale-haired, taciturn man who contrasted with Hashirama's appearance and demeanor. "Give him my congrats, too."
"Yes, of course." Just as quickly as it had left, a subdued pall rose over him again. "Yes, whenever it happens."
Yui filled his bowl with more rice and fixed him with another careful look. Hashirama had no injuries—Yui had never seen him with any—but he resumed the same nervous pattern against his knee. He was leaner, still had eyebags, and he toyed with the kunai strapped to his belt as his eyes flickered from the window to the doors.
"Hashirama-san, are you okay?" she said softly.
A moment passed. Then two, and three, and Yui repeated herself, thinking that he hadn't heard her.
His hands trembled, and he pushed them flat against the table. "I'm fine."
"Hashirama—"
"I'm fine. Thank you for asking."
She ate her soup, glancing up ever so often at Hashirama. He was lost in his own thoughts but strung like a taut wire, sitting on the edge of his chair like he was ready to run out at any moment. The door opened, and Hashirama made an aborted movement to stand, hand coming to his kunai again before he forced himself to still. The low hum of chakra prickled her skin before it disappeared all at once.
Dr. Makoto ran in, out of breath. "I think I did it! I think I got the leaf to stick!" He was almost shaking with excitement. "It felt… It felt like holding snow, except warm at the same…" Dr. Makoto saw the ninja sitting at the table and stopped.
Hashirama stared back, blank-faced, lips twitching downwards before his usual pleasantness returned. "Who is this?" he asked with light curiosity.
"A friend of mine, Dr. Makoto. He's helping me with the book."
Hashirama nodded, familiar with her project. "Are you teaching him the chakra exercise I showed you?" That same airy tone, but it was somehow different. Sharper, perhaps. "Who else have you taught?"
"I'm teaching him, yeah," she said slowly. "It's for the salves. I've taught my two apprentices, and I... wanna put how to use chakra in the rewritten book."
"I see." Hashirama traced a finger along the woodgrain of the table. His voice was carefully cheerful, and his face had that awful, neutral smile. For once, the open book of his emotions was closed, and that bothered her.
"Perhaps I'll come another time," said Dr. Makoto, his voice cracking. "Sorry to interrupt. Should I turn the sign to 'closed?'"
"Please," she murmured back.
Just as quickly as he came, Dr. Makoto retreated.
The following silence was heavy. Not a warm lull between topics or the gentle, companionable quiet of two people sharing tea—but tense, smothering uncertainty. Hashirama still didn't look at her, staring at his hands like they were a map. Yui picked up her chopsticks and put them down.
"Hashirama-san?" Yui asked again. "Did I… Did I do something to make you mad?"
He shook his head immediately. "No, it's not that, it's just… it's been difficult." The understatement was obvious enough to make him grimace. Hashirama sighed. "I'm still a ninja, Yui-san. Some things are hard to explain."
Yui looked away, embarrassed and taken aback. She hadn't meant to pry. Wind blew the door open again; Dr. Makoto hadn't shut the door all the way. The warm air rushed out, and the cold draft made her shiver. Yui stood to close it and paused, facing the door. With anyone else, she'd leave it there. But Hashirama wasn't anyone else. With him, she felt comfortable enough—concerned enough that she'd risk asking just to know.
"Is this about teaching other people the leaf trick?"
"No!" he said. "Well, no, not… that's not why I'm... I mean," Hashirama sighed again, "that's a different matter. It's not my place to tell you what you can or can't do." He unsheathed his kunai, shifting it from one hand to the next. "Still, I don't think it's wise to put it in a book. Not everyone should know how to use chakra."
"Why not?" Yui blinked at him. "Isn't it good if more people know chakra healing? It could help so much people."
"And hurt even more," said Hashirama, voice low.
"You don't know that."
His laugh was bitter. "Yui-san, I'm well-versed in the ways that chakra can be misused. Even the medical kind."
She frowned. "Well, it's hard to learn chakra when you don't have a teacher. I don't think that lots of people will figure it out from a book. And the only other advice we'll put are meditation and how to make the salves."
"But they'll have access to chakra, and that's the first step. Some things shouldn't be shared."
His vehemence surprised her, and his last sentence fell between them, curdling the air. Yui reached out, hand outstretched but purposeless, as if to check for a fever that wasn't there. "Hashirama-san, I thought you wanted to do it different. What happened to everything you said about working together? About sharing what we know?"
"I'm still a ninja, Yui-san!" he said again, voice raised. "I can't be as selfless as you!"
She stepped back, stricken at his overreaction. Hashirama sheathed his kunai and didn't meet her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, and without another word, he left her home. The door closed, and she was alone.
Slowly, Yui sat back down. She didn't ask questions about her patients, not beyond what she needed to treat them. Yui kept a certain distance, partially because her role as their healer required it. But Hashirama had never been her patient. He had never been anyone but a frequent visitor—someone who came by to see her, not her medicine—a refreshing conversation partner who shared her ideals… a friend, even. But something had changed.
"What's wrong?" Yui said to the air. "Can I help?"
The worst moments weren't when she failed. They were when she could do nothing at all.
Yui kept herself busy. She doubled her efforts with penicillin, spent more time rewriting the book with Dr. Makoto, increased the lessons with her apprentice, and even helped her sister finish the wedding preparations. Soon, Ume's big day arrived. After sake was exchanged in the shrine, the celebrations for the newlywed couple began.
Ume smiled and laughed, radiant in the blue silk kimono that Yui had given her. Her now-husband had eyes only for her. The couple accepted the gifts and blessings from the guests, and everyone murmured compliments about how beautiful the bride looked.
"I remember my wedding," said their mother. "It was much less fancy, and Genta near dropped the cups." She smiled wistfully. "I wish he was here to see this. Can't always get what we wish, though, but at least we're here for now."
Riko, Eiji's mother, chuckled. "Ah, that's the truth. We might be gone, but our children'll be much happier than us. Your daughter is already quite lucky. Look how radiant she is!"
"As she is. As it should be." Her mother beamed. "It's the best day of her life!"
The single best day, Yui mused. When the majority of women were told that marriage and children was the ideal, only future… she glanced at her calloused hands, struck by a sentiment that increased as time passed. So much wasted potential.
"Soon, we'll be seeing you up there, ah, Yui-san?" said Riko.
"Oh?" Yui looked up. "Oh, perhaps."
Her mother snorted. "Dunno if there's anyone good enough for Yui, here. She ain't seeing twice at a man. I thought that one doctor man would be it, but she keeps saying no. Not sure why."
"He came for learning, Mother," explained Yui for the hundredth time. "He hasn't asked me, because he's not here for courtship."
"Ah, bah. Men are never nowhere for courtship." She exchanged glances with Riko. "You gotta put the thought in his head. Make it clear that you're a woman, Yui! You're too cold. Ain't no man want someone so serious."
"I'm sure she'll find someone," Riko consoled. "Your daughter's quite accomplished."
"Men don't want accomplished…"
She gave a polite smile and excused herself from the conversation. Unfortunately for her mother, Yui didn't plan on seeking anyone out. While it was true that women had a subservient role, the gender dynamics of this world couldn't be summed up in a neat sentence. Many women in her village worked in one way or another, as bakers, farmers, or weavers. The village was too poor for anything else—or it used to be.
As the increasing trade and wealth from the cities flowed in, so did its norms. Having a wife who could stay home was a sign of class, and more women were leaving their jobs when they got married. This was why Yui had resigned herself to spinsterhood. Companionship, and perhaps love, would be nice. But she would never stop her work for anyone.
"Hey, everyone, a toast to the lucky groom and bride!" shouted Kaito's brother. Everyone cheered and raised a cup, Yui included.
After sipping the strong rice wine, she set her cup down and left the crowd, nodding to the people respectfully greeting her as she passed. Yui leaned against a tree and watched the festivities. Sen was drunk and giggling with his girlfriend—Ami or Hanae, she wasn't sure—while Eiji poked at the fried rice in his bowl. Ume was with their two older sisters, while her new husband Kaito was being hazed by her two older brothers. (Yui wasn't as close to them; the age gap meant that they had already settled into their lives. She hadn't made much of an effort either, admittedly. There was never enough time.)
A few girls accosted Dr. Makoto, eyes fluttering as they asked question after question. The older man stammered and blushed, pulling at his sleeves. He caught Yui's gaze and gave her a helpless shrug, much to her amusement. The doctor stepped towards her, but before he could make any progress, one of the girls stumbled into him and derailed his plan.
"Join us, Dr. Makoto! Let's dance! Kenichi's about to sing!"
Yui sighed and rested her head against the bark. Someone else brought out a lute. People began to dance and clap, and Yui considered getting drunk. A few travelers were dragged into the celebration; she could see the cloth merchant Miori with a village boy, and the baker's daughter had even convinced a samurai guard to join her.
There were no ninja in the crowd, though. She wasn't surprised. Yui thought of Hashirama and Madara and the other shinobi she'd met. All of them had lives different enough to be from a separate world and an unearthly poise to match. Did they even know how to dance? Would they want to? None had gained their grace through something as banal as dancing—in the end, they were still ninja.
Ume laughed loudly as her husband picked her up and spun her around on the dance floor. The gathered people cheered and egged him on, and with a loud whoop, Taiko put her on his back in a piggyback carry. Ume beat her hands against his chest, playful as she scolded his audacity.
Yui didn't regret her decisions. But as she looked at the newlywed couple, radiant in their happiness... sometimes, though, she wondered.
After a month and a half, Dr. Makoto returned to the capital. True to his word, he continued to send her letters and books, giving her biweekly reports on his progress with the rewritten primer, chakra, and the stethoscope.
The last one caught on quickly, he explained; more and more doctors were using it to diagnose heart and lung conditions. Dr. Makoto was credited with its invention, and while that stung a little bit, Yui reminded herself that she hadn't invented it, either.
They were still debating over how much information they should include about chakra. Dr. Makoto also wanted to err on the side of caution—remembering what he'd said earlier, she wondered if he simply wanted to keep the information for himself—but Yui thought they should go ahead and include it. Dr. Makoto did have a point, however. The ability to use chakra was an impressive bargaining tool for convincing other doctors to share information, and putting it in the book would negate that.
As the weeks passed, life continued. Ume announced she was expecting, much to the pleasure of their mother, who always wanted more grandchildren. Yui continued treating patients with her two apprentices. She saw Tsubaki again and the usual crowd of merchants, travelers, and ninja. Though Yui wondered (and worried) about Hashirama, Yui neither saw nor heard anything from him. Was the war wearing on him? Was his clan and family alright?
Her idle musing was interrupted by heavy footsteps and a single word that made her breath stop.
"Bandits!" Sen flung open the door and said it again, out of breath, face flushed. "The militia's all flapped, but they ain't…" He took a deep breath and continued, looking almost excited. "They aren't running, though! They're gonna fight 'em off!"
Eiji edged in behind him, pale and trembling. "I hear it's an army."
"Oh, shut up, Eiji." Sen nudged him. "An army? Yeah, like we wouldn't hear a damn army marching through."
Yui had gathered her wits enough to respond. "Boys, into the shed."
"Aw, what? But—"
"You know what to do. Into the shed, now." Her voice brooked no argument, even if it was shaking.
Hands twisting, Eiji mumbled in agreement, walking across the room to the back door. Sen didn't follow. Eiji paused and turned back to look at his fellow apprentice.
"Sen?" he asked.
"Sen," repeated Yui. "Into the shed."
"No."
She stilled as the shouting grew louder. "Sen," she said, voice climbing higher, "what are you doing? Go to the shed."
"I'm gonna go help. I can't just sit in the shed and do nothing while others go fight!" Sen ran through the front door before she could say anything.
"Sen. Sen!" she shouted after him. "Get back inside! You'll get yourself—"
The door shut. Her head spun as she clutched the table, panic rising all at once.
"I h-have to go after him." Eji pressed his hands over his face for a brief second, shaking.
"No—"
"I can't leave him, sensei." He closed his eyes, murmured something, and ran out after Sen.
Yui sank into her chair and tried to breathe. She couldn't go after them. If people came to the clinic, hurt, and there was no one to help… their deaths would be on her conscience. Her breaths were short, too short, and terror muddled every thought—but terror wouldn't help. Yui tried counting to slow her breath. When that failed, she started reciting the uses of different plants, hoping the familiarity would soothe her, but her eyes kept going to the vial behind an empty jar.
Nightshade, poisonous… symptoms include loss of voice, dilated pupils, hallucinations, and eventually death. When diluted, it can be used as medicine, but it is toxic enough to be unadvised. It played again and again in her mind as she thought of every worst case scenario.
Sen. Eiji. Those stupid, stupid boys. If anything happened to them, she'd never forgive herself.
Yui rubbed her faded scar and stared at the door. Half of her wanted to grab the boys, hide them her room and bar the door, while the other half wanted to join them outside and see what was happening. It was the not-knowing that got to her—having to sit on a chair, tense, hands on her knees as she listened to every muffled shout, reciting an ode to nightshade like an incoherent prayer. She breathed out. How much time had passed? The shouting was closer, and Yui grabbed the knife that Madara had given her.
The door opened, and she screamed, fumbling with her weapon as she knocked off a cup from the table.
"Healer, Healer Yui, it's me, Hiroshi!" The man gasped as he clutched at his left eye and blood dripped down his face. "The bandits, they're pushing closer to the village center. One of them got me."
She snapped into healer mode, categorizing his injuries. The bandit had cut through his eye, slashing from the bridge of his nose to his ear. Piercing wounds like that could easily get infected, leading to blindness or even the loss of the eye. Worse, if it perforated the brain cavity… there was always the chance of death.
She cleaned the blood and began bandaging him, working in silence as the shouting ebbed and flowed, interrupted by Hiroshi's heavy breathing. She counted the time by his breaths, growing more anxious as ten minutes passed, and then thirty, before she lost count altogether. Hiroshi's other eye was closed; only his coughs gave sign that he was awake.
The shouts suddenly turned to cheering, and Hiroshi opened his eyes. They looked at each other, praying and hoping but unwilling to voice it. The cheering grew louder, and after the door to her clinic opened again, it became deafening.
"We won!" Akito, Hiroshi's younger brother, leaned in, his joy undercut by concern. "Brother, are you alright?"
"Yeah," rasped Hiroshi, trying to stand. Yui prevented him with a frown. "Yeah, I'll live."
Eiji edged into the clinic, supporting Ikuro, the old farmer who led the militia. "We, uh… might need some help, though," said her apprentice sheepishly.
Unlike Hiroshi, the old farmer only had a long but shallow gash along his side and a puncture wound on his shoulder. Akito and Eiji were uninjured, but Sen—
"Where's Sen?" she said, voice catching even as she started treating Ikuro.
Eiji looked around. "He's right… he was right behind me."
Her heart froze, but she forced herself to continue cleaning away the blood. "Where's Sen?" she said again, this time at a pitch bordering on shrill.
"I'm right here!" Sen ducked inside while carrying a sobbing girl about ten years of age. Her knees were scraped, but otherwise, they both looked fine. "Sorry, I had to stop and grab Mie."
"You're okay," she said, closing her eyes briefly as her legs went weak with relief. She opened them and fixed Sen with the harshest glare she could muster, and he faltered, closing his mouth. She continued, tone cold. "Treat Mie. Eiji, help me with Ikuro."
"Y-Yeah, okay…" he mumbled, setting her down and grabbing the bandages, and Eiji nodded, bringing the salves for pain killing.
Akito quickly started a full retelling of the events, with Ikuro interjecting once or twice. (The one time Sen tried to comment, Yui's expression turned so frosty that he didn't try to speak again.) "They weren't like those rounin. These bastards—sorry, healer, didn't mean to curse—didn't move so fast-like."
"Little more than starving peasants," muttered Ikuro. "Filth, the lot."
Hiroshi interjected, the news having brightened his spirit. "And they all yelled an' tried to get us to give 'em money and food, but I guess they don't expect us to have these fancy crossbows! Should've seen their faces when the first arrows poked them through." Hiroshi laughed and then hissed as the injury tugged at his wound. Yui shot him a disapproving look. "Aw, don't worry, healer… it don't even hurt that much anymore."
"Oh, but it will," Ikuro snorted. "You just a few more minutes and see."
Yui said nothing as she continued bandaging, but internally, she agreed. He was clearly trying to put on a brave face for his little brother, but no one was buying it, not even Akito, who hovered around him like a worried bee.
Akito continued for his brother, glancing every so often at Hiroshi. "We got most of 'em with the first volley. But a few got lucky, and one guy was damn fast! Oh, pardon, healer… erm, yeah, he got my brother in the eye, lucky devil. I got him back, though." He grinned, almost clasping Hiroshi on the shoulder before remembering his injuries.
"I was careless. Another one got me, but I took care of him. Was my own damn fault. Thank gods, none the other militia members got hurt." Ikuro grunted, rubbing his gray beard. "The rest ran. That one merchant, the one from up north… he set his ninja guards on the runners. They ain't gonna bother no one anymore."
"You protected the village," said Yui, nodding. "Thank you."
"Th-Thank you for fixin' us up! And giving us the crossbows. They were real useful-like." Hiroshi blushed. "We're just doin' our job."
"And I'm just doing mine." She smiled and felt like she could breathe again, though her smile faltered at the blood dripping from Akito's crossbow. Yui looked away. Perhaps she should feel guilty, trying to be a force for peace and progress yet supplying villagers with weapons. But she didn't. Not really. Instead, she felt satisfaction. Grim satisfaction, but satisfaction nonetheless.
Progress also meant equity. If providing her village with crossbows could keep them safe, putting them on more equal ground, then it was worth it. The bandits were gone. The village had actually scared them—the crossbows had worked. It was worth it, she reminded herself. This was a black mark she could handle.
After giving the men some final instructions about their wounds, stressing to Hiroshi the importance of rest and keeping his bandages clean, she sent them on their way. Little Mie, after having her knees bandaged, gave Sen a big hug before running away, red-faced.
Now, the three of them were alone, and both Eiji and Sen cringed away from her blank-faced silence. Yui walked over to the basin of fresh water in the corner and began washing her hands.
"Sensei, I…" Eiji trailed off.
"It was my fault. Don't blame Eiji." Sen's anxious bravado didn't fool any of them.
She let his words hang in the air and didn't respond, instead scrubbing at each finger. Her fear for her two apprentices had congealed into noxious anger for their foolish, reckless behavior. Despite the danger, they'd run out anyway, young and stupid and intoxicated by their silly notions of invincibility.
"N-No, I wanted to follow Sen!" said Eiji. "I made my own choice! It's my fault, too."
He scowled at his friend. "If I didn't run out, then Eiji wouldn't've."
"That's not true! I'm just as brave as you are!" snapped Eiji.
"I didn't mean it like that." Sen hastily backtracked. "I just meant, uh, you wouldn't—" He stopped before digging himself deeper. Eiji didn't push it either and kept quiet as he glanced at Yui from the corner of his eye.
Yui waited for a few more moments, letting them marinate in their discomfort as she dried her hands. Finally, she spoke. "You could've died."
Sen looked down. "Yeah. Sorry for making you worry."
"But you're not sorry for running out."
His nervous tone faded into defiance. "I'm not. I couldn't just let them do the fighting for us. I had to help. I'm a man now, not a coward, and I won't hide behind anyone!" Though Eiji didn't say anything, he was also nodding along.
Trying to control her anger, she took a deep breath. "It's not a healer's job to run out and fight—"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, do no harm," said Sen, sardonic as he quoted the translated phrase she always used. "But what if I do more harm by not helping?"
Her tenuous grip on her fear and anger broke. "You can't save anyone if you're dead, Sen! Your first priority should be your own life!"
He laughed. "Oh yeah, Sis? Then how come you never join us in the shed?"
She stared, shocked by both his outward defiance and his words. "I…" she began, "that's different. I'm the target, and someone has to stay in the clinic to help—"
"Why is it never one of us?" Eiji spoke up, low but clear.
"We're not kids anymore." Sen met her eyes, and his honest sincerity kept her from responding. "We're healers, just like you. Don't you trust us to do our jobs? You don't have to send us to hide every time there's bandits or a ninja comes into the clinic. We can help. That's what you taught us to do!"
She sighed. They really were grown up, even if she still thought of them as the same boys who'd followed her around like puppies, asking her question after question and getting into trouble. Well, that hadn't changed, at least. "Yeah," Yui admitted. "I guess I coddle you two a little."
"A little?" mumbled Sen. "You don't let us stay for any of the important stuff! How are we supposed to learn if you don't let us do anything?"
Yui frowned. "Looks like you didn't learn the most important lesson. Like you said, you're healers. Don't you forget that. Your job is to help, not to fight! You'd do much more good by healing people afterwards. Don't run out again, understand? You're my apprentices, and if you get yourselves killed while trying to fight, then others might die because there ain't enough healers to help them! You were both stupid and reckless to run outside like that! You have a brain. Use it!"
Her hash words made Eiji flinch and her brother drop his gaze.
She softened her tone. "But, I guess… I could give you a little more responsibility. Sometimes. As long as you promise to never do that again!"
"Like when the ninja come?" Sen said. "Will you let us stay then?"
"Don't push it!" Eiji nudged him, and Sen nudged him back, irritated.
She thought it over. Well, she had considered it before… and if ninja were to trust her students, they'd have to start eventually. "Alright," she agreed. "Not always, but sometimes."
Though Sen and Eiji were clearly startled by her agreement, they both grinned. "Yeah! We promise to listen! And don't worry about us. We can handle anything." Sen puffed out his chest. "Besides, everything worked out. The militia scared the bandits, and we patched everyone up. And the brewer said he'd give free drinks to the fighters, so there's gonna be a party!"
Yui almost touched her scar again, but she refrained. The boys were right. Scaring away bandits without a single death was something to celebrate, not muse over. When life was so fragile, people had to be joyful when they could. "I guess we should go there and join them—"
"Alright!" cheered Eiji, and Sen was almost out the door.
"—after you both clean the clinic and both sheds, of course."
Sen stopped, dismayed, and Eiji stared in horror at the medicine lining the table. "All of it? Now?"
"Of course. We aren't leaving the clinic like this." Yui gestured at the lose bandages, salves, and bloodstains on the floor. "I expect it to be gleaming." She grabbed her butterfly-patterned shawl and draped it across her shoulders.
"Wait. Where are you going?" called Sen as she pushed open the door.
"To the party, of course." She glanced back, raising her eyebrows. "You didn't think I'd let you off so easily, did you? You did say you wanted more responsibility. Start with this." Yui smiled at their groans and left the boys to their work.
Yui hummed, off-pitch and flat, as she rearranged her shelves. She kept switching between a drinking tune and something that vaguely sounded like a song from her old life, one she couldn't quite remember.
"Sis, you're a great healer, but please don't became an entertainer," Sen said, sighing.
"I gotta agree." Eiji snickered to himself.
"As do I," said a low voice. They all jumped. Madara was leaning against the table, arms crossed. He smirked, adding, "It's been a while, healer."
"Hey, you can't say that about my sis—" started Sen, but Eiji elbowed him, cutting him off.
Yui gave Madara a once-over, checking for injuries. He looked perfectly fine: better than usual, in fact, considering that the gauntness had faded and his pale skin was less sallow.
"You hurt?" she asked anyway. "Or are you here to pick up more salves?"
"No. I'm here for the usual supplies." Though an Uchiha clan-member always dropped by every two or three weeks to buy more medicine, Madara hadn't come personally in a few months.
"Anything extra?"
"One more jar of pain-killing paste."
She nodded. Sen and Eiji started to head out, but she stopped them. "Madara-san, could my apprentices stay?"
Slowly, Madara moved his gaze to the two boys. Eiji was looking down and wringing his hands, but Sen stared straight at the ninja, not bothering to hide his displeasure. Perhaps Yui was just imagining it, but as Madara stared back at her brother, his expression seemed to change. How, she wasn't sure, but it was different. Blunter, maybe. After another moment, he shifted his gaze to her.
"Fine."
Eiji hurried to the fire, watching the water heat up, while Sen took his position next to a shelf by the door. As Yui grabbed the various jars (and sent her brother to grab a few from the shed, which was probably for the best, considering how he was trying to burn a hole into the ninja with his eyes), Madara simply watched.
"Is your village alright?" said Madara after a moment.
She stopped in place. "What?"
"I heard there have been attacks." His tone was flat and neutral, and his posture was exactly the same.
Yui nodded slowly. After that one bandit attack, there were three more in the next month. Chiyuku had finally become wealthy enough to attract interest, but it was still small enough to look like an easy target. The militia had scared away two of them, and though the other gang of bandits had been made of rounin, they'd made the mistake of attacking when a caravan of merchants had camped outside the village—a caravan operated by many wealthy merchants and protected by many angry samurai. There were injuries and two deaths, but… as peasants always said, it could have been worse. It didn't make her any less guilty because of her inability to save them, though, or any less sad.
"But the village has fared well?" said Madara, sounding a tad exasperated.
"Er, uh… yeah." Sheepish, she put an empty jar aside to be refilled. "They were all taken care of."
"Really." His dubiousness grated on her nerves, but that was tempered by his expression of disappointment. "So you don't require any assistance in that regard?"
Yui thought of the hand that had appeared on her doorstep. "No, but thanks," she said dryly. He'd have to pay the old-fashioned way.
With one of his usual not-a-sighs, Madara dropped a bag of coins on the table as Sen returned with the extra jars. Sen placed the jars on the same table and stepped back, standing just behind Yui.
"Much appreciated, as always." Madara gathered the jars into a simple sack.
"Wanna stay for tea?" asked Yui, fully expecting to be rejected, ignoring how Sen grumbled and Eiji looked rather pained at the thought.
"No."
She shrugged, unsurprised. Sen relaxed, and Eiji looked less likely to faint at a loud noise. Sack in his hand, Madara didn't move. A moment passed. He was still in her clinic, still as a statue.
"Uh, Madara-san, did you need something else?" Yui blinked at him, wondering if she'd forgotten to include a jar.
"No." He lingered by the table, full of self-possession but missing his usual languidness.
Sen shifted behind her, and Eiji coughed weakly.
"Do you have a grudge against the bandits who attacked you?" Madara asked. He straightened and pushed off the table in a sudden movement, startling Sen, Eiji, and her for the second time.
"I… what?"
"Do you want revenge on them?" he said. His eyes were narrowed, but he didn't meet her gaze. Instead, he stared to the left of her and gave the full brunt of his visual displeasure to the wall.
"There's no point now." She eyed the boiling water, wondering if it'd be too rude to continue with her errands. Well, he wasn't getting to the point, and there was no point in her wasting time. Yui grabbed the dirty towels and began cleaning. "They're all dead."
"Yes, but if they weren't, would you want to take revenge?"
Yui wrung out the cloth and considered his question. Yui had supplied her village with crossbows, not because she wanted vengeance but fairness. Or so she liked to tell herself. If the bandit with the ring, the one who'd ransacked her hut, if he were still alive… would she want him dead?
"A little," she admitted. "I'd want him gone. But I wouldn't want them gone because… it's not that I wanna make 'em feel what I, uh," Yui paused as she grabbed another towel, "I don't want them to feel pain just because they…" She felt silent again. "Part of me does want that," she said finally, voice low. "But a bigger part of me just wants it to be over."
"Explain." Madara's sharp command made Sen bristle and even Eiji frown. Madara only had eyes for the wall, though, and he didn't avert his gaze from the wood grain that still whispered with chakra.
"At a certain point, does it even matter how it happens?" The thought dragged on her, weary and faded. "Does it matter if the bandit dies or rots in jail or retires to a farm with grandchildren? As long as he doesn't come back, it doesn't matter, as long as it's over and he never bothers me again."
"As long as it's over," he echoed. Softer, Madara added, "As long as there's peace."
Yui dropped another dirty cloth into the water, and Sen brought her another full basket that needed to be sanitized.
"Where should the line be drawn?" Madara's eyes were half-lidded, now. "What shouldn't we let go in the name of peace?"
"Why're you asking me?"
He opened his eyes and finally looked at her. "What?"
"I'm just a peasant." The steam had made her sweaty, and Yui brushed away the hair that stuck to her face. "I don't know enough for my opinion to matter."
"Humor me," he said, his lips twitching.
She sighed. "Peace… it's worth forgiveness. It's worth compromise. If it means giving away all your pride, then fine. It's something beyond individual petiness."
"You say this with such confidence, healer." His smirk was back, but it had an edge. "You think peace is worth my pride. Is that really so? Is peace worth losing one's identity?"
"I don't know what it's worth to you. But that's what's it worth to me." Yui stood up and turned around. "Is there anything else you needed, Madara-san?"
He shook his head. "Very well. I see where you stand." Without another word, Madara disappeared.
Sen rolled her eyes. "Gods damn, these ninja are so dramatic."
"And weird," added Eiji. "Why'd he ask you all those strange questions? It's not like we have anything to do with their stupid wars."
Yui looked down at the boiling water and wondered too.
AN: Your reviews, follows, favorites, fanart, and support is what kept me from throwing this chapter out the window. Thank you so much. I'd planned to get it out in December (and I'd finished it rather early), but it took almost three rewrites before I was actually happy with it. I hope the length of the chapter makes up for the delay somewhat. I've posted some of the deleted scenes on my tumblr.
Sincere, overflowing appreciation and thanks for Enbi, 3 day old cheese, Iaso, and GwendolynStacy for beta-ing the chapter. You would not believe the impact they made. Their writing is all very wonderful and highly recommended. Also, much thanks to teawithmochi, Cams, heitu261, MissNanamiChan, themimzicalmimzy, and rinzukodas for their lovely fanart! The links are on my profile. [Some light editing was done on 2/5/18, thanks to adamjb]