It hadn't even been two weeks since Natasha agreed to build a house with Steve and she was already overwhelmed. Steve wasn't pushing anything, even in his excitement to provide some kind of stability for the twins he wasn't pushing her into the planning. No, she thought she could venture out on her own and gather intel. The moment she walked into a regular home improvement store she was approached and asked if she needed anything, and she took the opportunity to ask questions. That was how she ended up surrounded by a group of people throwing advice from all corners because there wasn't just one expert. A disaster, it was ending up as a disaster.
The plumbing 'expert' was prattling on about the differences between pipe materials. Copper and galvanized steel were two of them, and beside her, the electrician was trying to get her to tell him what kind of lights she planned to have. Natasha could feel her heart pounding in her throat and sweat beginning to bead on her forehead as she tried to think of a clever, and dignified way to leave the store. During a particularly intense moment when the group started chatting together to come up with a more structured way to offer advice, she slipped behind the electrician and plumber. Her boots gently clicked on the hard ground as she forced a deep breath to expand her constricted chest. "Galvanized steel... Copper... PVC," she grumbled, knowing that there were no doubts real concerns or pros and cons to certain ones but she had never had to memorize any material that wasn't for a weapon, or maybe even to deal with a bomb.
Natasha ended up in the paint section and for a moment she let herself think it was okay. It would be simple to just look at colors and envision them on certain walls. Right?
Steve found Natasha in their shared bedroom laying on her back on the bed surrounded by hundreds of color palette papers. Several more wooden stir sticks with various shades of colors were thrown into the mix. What looked like printed papers on notes on what colors would be best for the kitchen, studio, and bedrooms. "Nat?" He spoke gently as if afraid to spook her as he took in the scene of chaos. Her normally meticulously groomed hair was spread out and messy. As if she'd spent time combing anxious fingers through it. She barely moved to acknowledge him, staring at the ceiling with a lost look. "Nat... What is this?" Steve gestured to the colors needlessly as she wasn't even looking to see.
"Did you know there are five main types of piping for plumbing?" A near-hysterical laugh bubbled in her throat as she forced a deep breath. "Or, that people argue endlessly online at what is and is not acceptable to paint the walls of a house?" Steve folded his arm across his chest as he arched an eyebrow at her. He had taken the twins for a few hours to give Natasha some time on her own, and it seemed like she just managed to stress herself out.
"Where did you go?" He had known that the idea of building the house was daunting, so he hadn't approached her over it. Steve figured he'd mostly discuss it with Tony and they could figure out the rest later. He should have known that Nat would lose herself in her thoughts over it. He walked closer to the bed touching the soft comforter, trailing his fingers along before running them through Natasha's soft hair.
"Lomes or something like that," Nat grumbled, finally forcing her eyes to meet his. She was so tired and it was only a trip to the store and though it felt like hours she hadn't been gone all that long. Her stake-out mission turned into something that made her insides twist painfully. "I was just curious as to what we were getting ourselves into and... Well... I was approached and I thought I could ask a question but there were so many different people." She let out a soft hum as the fingers began doing their job and relaxing her.
"You went to a home improvement store?" If nothing else Steve was amused that she had gone in. It wasn't a frightening place but this was out of her element and even he wasn't all that comfortable in current ones. Things had changed since he had been in the ice and even more so since he thawed. There was always something new and better out in the world. "Nat, sweetheart, why didn't you say anything?"
"Look at this Steve?" Natasha gestured to the colors surrounding her mournfully. "I'm not a homemaker. I can't be that forties wife you grew up expecting."
"I didn't grow up expecting a wife," Steve responded back as he kneeled on the mattress, making it dip by Natasha's head. He leaned over and kissed her softly. "Everything that I have now... I'm lucky. It's a blessing, and you're a blessing. I don't want you to be a regular homemaker. I think we've discussed this already. There is nothing for you to hold yourself to." Her green eyes softened as she stared into his honest blue ones. Looking up he reached over and gripped one of the handouts and glanced over it with furrowed brows.
"Can we agree to not paint the kitchen 'Quite Red,'" he laughed as she hit him with the other handouts she still held.
"Of course, I was thinking we would go 'Island Orange,'" Natasha burst into laughter at the look of consternation on his face when he leaned over to look at her handout and gaze at the color. He rolled his eyes dramatically.
"I don't think we can reconcile these differences," he told her, placing a hand over his heart and looking down with twinkling blue eyes. "The only way I can see to solve this is by hiring a professional interior decorator." Natasha practically melted in relief when those words passed through his perfect lips.
"And the pipes?" The pipes started her whole downward spiral. She knew stuff like that was imperative while building a house but she was a spy. Natasha didn't have a home to call her own, it was kind of her thing not to.
"I'm going to let Stark handle all that," he supplied, leaning back over and kissing her softly. "He can decide what pipe is better... He has people for that as he likes to remind me." He murmured against her lips. Steve leaned back up and ran both hands through her tangled hair, patiently combing through to see her further relax into the mattress. One that before the twins and Nat he was never comfortable in. It was always too soft, no matter where they were stationed, or where he stayed.
"The kids?" Panic lit her face again as she realized that through her downward spiral, there were no soft giggles or chattering. While they weren't 'talking' it seemed the twins had their own code.
"Uncle Clint has them," Steve moved quickly beside her, his knee snapping some of the wooden sample sticks in the process. His large hands came up and cupped her face, thumbs running underneath her eyes. "Hey, it's okay. They're okay. Clint just wanted to take them out for ice cream and since they didn't oppose it I didn't see the harm. Nat, look at me, they're okay." Hydra and the redroom were always at the forefront of their mind when it came to the twins. They assume that since they were alive it meant the twins were considered successes. This meant that eventually Hydra and the redroom would inevitably come back into play. That terrified Natasha, Steve knew, but he wouldn't let the kids live in fear. They would take them as they came, and he knew the Avengers were on alert for any strange activity as well.
"Clint has them?" Natasha began to calm down again, Clint would be able to keep the two of them safe. He not only had kids of his own but he was an experienced spy. He was sent to take her out and chose not to. Those kids could not be any safer than being locked in the tower. "Okay... Okay... Sorry. I just. I was so lost with the idea of actually building the house I didn't realize they weren't with you."
"I suspect that Clint saw you come back. You're notoriously bad at hiding everything until you're ready to explode and we really don't want to experience that again," Steve spoke, remembering the blowout fight they had at Clint's house. It ended well but he would really rather avoid that kind of scenario again. "It'll be okay Nat. I promise, and you should have told me if you wanted to do 'research' I would have gone with you." She merely shook her head.
"I wanted to do this alone. This is something that comes naturally to you Steve, this is foreign to me. I wanted to try and figure it out. All I managed to do was want to kill every employee in Dole," Natasha admitted with a sigh, unwilling to move and dislodge Steve's hands from her face. He made a habit of touching her gently. As if she needed to get used to his touch or he risked her running the other way. Natasha could admit that she hadn't given him much to work with. It did seem like she spooked easily. She wasn't complaining because his touch never demanded anything in return. She wasn't being hurt, nor was she being coerced into bed. They just simply existed with one another.
"You don't have to put yourself through that. Tony will take care of it all, he has the crew we just need to find the perfect location. The location is the key point in choosing how many rooms we'd like and the basics. The hardest choice, I think is appliances to fill the home with," there would be harder choices but Steve didn't think it was important to point out the nitty gritty detail. He simply felt lucky she had returned at all, and that did show she was trying hard to make it work for their sudden family.
"How much do we, Tony?" That was something that was bugging Natasha. She assumed that they were paying Steve something because he was a technical veteran. But to be able to pay everyone to build a house? That was... That had to be out of their ability, right? Natasha herself had money but not that kind of money.
"He said not to worry about it, that you helped save his life a while back," Steve didn't know in what way, he wouldn't elaborate but he could see the realization in Natasha's eyes. "You can try to talk him out of it but you know how Stark is." He gave her a half-smile. It occurred to him that they had a life before him that he wasn't privy to. Steve wasn't jealous that she spoke with Tony, Clint, or anyone else before him it was just the realization he entered everyone's lives at the fight with Loki and the Chitauri. Then they had generally gone their separate ways again.
"Does that bother you? That he's willing to pay for it?" Natasha asked softly, reaching up and touching his face. "I know how much this house means to you."
"No," Steve answered swiftly and paused before letting out a breath. He was always telling Nat to tell him her true feelings and he was trying to bury his. "A little. I want to be able to provide for you... Provide everything the twins could ever want and I find that I'm not really in the position to tell Tony Stark no. The twins need this, and I think it would help you. You're always on alert here, maybe being somewhere else would help your nerves. So I can let this go." Natasha chuckled at him as she stared up at him.
"You are everything we need Steve, I wish I could show you what we see," Natasha murmured again softly, pulling him down for a kiss. Yanking him over so his hands moved from her face to plant firmly on each side of her. "I love you..." She grinned a bit when his entire body hovered over hers.
"I love you too," he whispered, kissing her hard, coaxing her into a response. It didn't take much for her to overcome her surprise and meet him. Her nimble fingers wound through his hair, tugging slightly. A harsh groan escaped him, while a echoed in the room. They didn't hear the footsteps leading to the room.
"Jesus!" A gasp came from the doorway, causing Steve to yank his head up. "Shut the door! Better yet, lock the door." Clint hurried away with the children, with embarrassed laughter following behind him.