The Girl Who Shouted I At The Heart Of The World

by A.F. Oliver

Few get a second chance at living, let alone two or three. Rei Ayanami never knew what to do with the lives she had until it was too late. Getting another chance at living could mean a world of difference. After all, life is an ever changing thing and even the smallest of changes can reverberate across the world.

43. Words That We Couldn't Say

Chapter 43 – Words That We Couldn't Say

It was early in the morning and Kaji stood under a flickering streetlamp on the side of the road near the outskirts of Tokyo 3 waiting for Fujita to meet him there, puffing away on what was probably the third cigarette he'd smoked since leaving his flat. He'd told the DIH agent nothing during their brief phone call, only that he needed to meet him immediately and to come armed. That seemed to have made Fujita nervous, he'd even received a comment that his tone wasn't like himself. Kaji was a bit inclined to agree. Knowing that there was no way out of what SEELE had in store for him had certainly gotten him a bit rattled. He had to hope for the best and continue planing ahead... even if deep down he knew that the odds of escaping the machinations of NERV and SEELE were slim to none.

In the distance he could see a black sedan driving toward him from down the road. His eyes narrowed as the vehicle's pace began to slow as it drew nearer, causing him to instinctively slide his hand inside the left breast of his jacket. He wouldn't be surprised if the commander knew what SEELE had ordered him to undertake and sent someone to eliminate him. If the driver wasn't Fujita he had to be prepared... However, as the car stopped at the curb just in front of him the passenger side window came down and he could see that it was exactly who he wanted to meet. "Get in," Fujita spoke. "And get your hand out of your jacket, you're making me nervous..."

Kaji took a final puff off his half finished cigarette, flicked it, and did as he was asked. He sat down and closed the door behind himself, strapping the seat belt around himself. "Just drive," he replied. "It doesn't matter where, just keep moving in case we're being watched."

Fujita shifted out of park and crept away from the curb. "I'm guessing that the reason you wanted to meet outside of NERV is because of something serious," he stated. "What gives?"

Kaji sighed. Even though he'd made peace with his task on the surface level it was still hard to reconcile that his quest to attain the truth of NERV, of SEELE, Second Impact, and himself had led him to this crossroads which would most likely be his end... "I've been given an assignment," he replied darkly. "By SEELE..."

"SEELE?" Fujita uttered, turning his head slightly with a perplexed expression. "You mean the group pulling the strings of the U.N. and the Instrumentality Committee?"

"The very same," Kaji returned with a scowl. "And once it's over I'd recommend getting out of town."

There was a pause as Fujita took the car around a corner. "Why is that?" he inquired. "My assignment is here, as is yours."

Kaji closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. It was so difficult speaking such bitter truths... "They wish for me to kidnap the vice commander," he stated flatly.

Fujita visibly flinched. "You can't be serious..." he returned quietly after a moment of pensive silence. "Why on earth would they want you to do something like that? Couldn't they simply call a meeting with him?"

Kaji stared ahead, looking up at the brightening sky of what might likely be his last day on earth. "Have you been keeping up with what's been going on regarding the pilots and the Evas?" he asked.

Fujita nodded. "I have," he replied, slowing the car down to at a red light. "The scientific department finally got the Third Child out of Unit 01 and things have started to relax a bit. Do you have a point in reminding me of this?"

Kaji folded his arms. "The incident that caused the Third Child to be trapped within the plug caused a great deal of a stir," he replied.

"I can imagine that," Fujita stated. "It's not every day that you see a man-made giant eating a kaiju monster... but go on."

Kaji thought back to the conversation he'd overheard in the bowels of NERV... "Commander Ikari has been dodging inquiries and I have reason to believe that whatever his plans are that they're contrary to SEELE's," he continued. "I would imagine they've become suspicious and wish to question Fuyutsuki in a way that Ikari cannot interfere.

"That makes sense," Fujita replied as the light turned green. "So that's why you've been tasked with, apprehending him so they can question him in a more vulnerable state with no chance to prepare."

"Precisely," Kaji stated quietly as the car continued down the road. "So you realize what this means for us..."

"I do," Fujita replied in a gravely serious tone. "It means we're in deep shit. The commander certainly knows you're playing for other parties. He'll suspect you, which means I could be implicated too."

"Yes," Kaji replied with a sigh. "Which is why I'd recommend getting as far away from Tokyo 3 as possible."

Fujita scoffed. "Trust me, as soon as you get out of this car, I'm making my way to Hokkaido as quickly as I can. I've got some friends in high places who can help me disappear from NERV's radar, or at least I hope they can."

"I assume you're referring mostly to this Colonel Mitsuo Shikishima you've mentioned once or twice in passing?" Kaji asked.

"Indeed," Fujita returned. "He'll be very curious to know what's been going on here and he'll be able to guarantee NERV can't come sniffing around."

Kaji sighed. "It's good to have people you can rely on, count yourself lucky," he replied. "As for me... it would seem that my luck has run dry..."

"That's one way of putting it," Fujita concurred. "I can't imagine you'll live very long after completing this assignment."

Kaji scowled. "I can't imagine I will either..." he muttered darkly.

There was a heavy silence that fell in the car. It would seem that neither of them really knew what to say. What really could be said? There was nothing that could alleviate the seriousness of the situation, but the silence didn't last. Fujita eventually spoke... "So... does Katsuragi know?" he asked.

Kaji shook his head. "No," he replied flatly. "She doesn't..."

"Will you tell her?" Fujita inquired. "I'm sure she'll be quite upset once the dust settles."

"If I inform her of this then she'll be implicated," Kaji replied, his mind drifting back to the last night they'd spent together. How ironic that they finally were getting back to how they used to be, allowing themselves to share that tenderness once again, only for it end in tears... "If she wouldn't be already..."

"I see..." Fujita muttered. "So... where to, Agent Kaji?"

He thought for a moment on that. One way or another he'd have to go back to NERV and execute his task... but Fujita did have a point that Misato would be upset once everything was over and done with. He couldn't tell her about what he was doing but... at least he might be able to get her on the phone and tell her how he really felt, something he'd never been able bring himself to do even in college. Yes... he knew where to go... "Take me to the city limits, then start your extraction from here," Kaji replied. "I'll find my own way back to NERV."

There was a pause before Fujita responded. "You're planning something, aren't you?" he questioned.

Kaji allowed himself a soft smile. "I am..." he returned.

"And you're not going tell me what, are you?" Fujita pressed.

"No," Kaji replied.

"Does it have to do with Katsuragi?" the DIH agent inquired.

"Yes," Kaji replied.

Fujita chuckled wryly. "Well... I suppose it's not important for me then," he returned softly. "Either way... it's been a pleasure, Kaji-san."

Kaji nodded. "Likewise..." he replied softly.

---

Gendo sat in his office, staring out at the sheltered pastoral landscape and the hanging towers of the geofront, his mind occupied with scheming as per usual. It had been weeks since he'd decided to abandon his efforts to initiate his own version of Human Instrumentality but he'd yet to come up with a viable way to thwart the committee. This frustrated him. It frustrated him to no end, and with everything that had been going on in the last few days since his son had been extracted from Unit 01's core time was running short for him to do so...

"So how did the discussion go with committee yesterday? Fuyutsuki asked from his usual place at the side of his desk.

His scowl deepened. Indeed... he had spoken to SEELE the previous day. The conversation had gone exactly how he'd expected with him offering meaningless platitudes and assurances that things were under control, all the things they wanted to hear... but he knew it would buy him little time. "The usual subjects were discussed," he replied bitterly. "I assured them that things are advancing as they desire them to, that there will be no further major deviations."

"But the suspicion remains, per usual," Fuyutsuki returned.

"Yes..." Gendo growled under his breath. Now more than ever he wished that the thorn in his side known as Lorenz Keel could be removed...

"Do you suspect they're planning something?" Fuyutsuki asked.

"They're always planning something," Gendo stated. "The question is what are they planning?"

"Indeed," Fuyutsuki agreed. "And have you managed to rewrite the scenario to suit the ends we both desire?"

"No..." Gendo replied flatly. "The mechanism by which we will defeat them remains elusive."

"Despite my scholarly leanings, I too have had trouble with this, hence why I haven't made any suggestions," Fuyutsuki returned. "Should they discover truly what our aims are they will use every resource at their disposal to destroy NERV."

"I suspect they have a contingency for that anyway," Gendo countered. "The old men wouldn't be in the position they are without such things."

"I suspect you're right," Fuyutsuki replied. "So... whatever we decide to do in order to change course cannot come until the defeat of the final messenger."

"Yes..." Gendo agreed. He didn't like it, but that would be the most conservative course of action. He had to survive the game... for Shinji's sake.

---

Rei began her usual morning routine as she always did, silently bathing, grooming, dressing, and preparing for another day at school. She was dreading it considering how the last day had gone. Even though the evening speaking with Shinji over tea had been pleasant, the implications of the preceding events still weighed heavy. She hadn't gotten much sleep. Her inner turmoil wouldn't allow for it.

The more she pondered it the more upset the situation made her. She was still incredibly happy that Shinji was back but the previous day had made it quite clear that things would never be the same as they were before. Asuka clearly wanted nothing more than to withdraw into herself and she had no way of helping her. Worse still, watching the fraying friendship between the redhead and Shinji was incredibly painful, made worse by the fact that she was growing closer to Nagisa. At least she was rather certain that Shinji would rebuff his advances should he decide to make any towards him. That was a small silver lining.

However, the fact that the war against the Angels wasn't yet over and the situation at NERV was all too similar to the one she'd observed at this juncture in the original timeline made her anxious. No... it downright terrified her. Even though Commander Ikari had decided to abandon Human Instrumentality there were still the people above him to worry about. With Unit 01 frozen and Asuka deteriorating emotionally the odds of diverting things from the inevitable were slimming by the day. That disheartened her and intensified the feelings of guilt and regret that had been swirling inside her ever since the last battle. Despite her efforts and desires to change things the results had been minimal or she'd made things just as bad as before like when Unit 03 had become infected. It made her feel so powerless, all of it did. The more she thought about the situation with her friends and the world at large the more intense those feelings became...

She breathed a heavy sigh as she pulled her shoes on before leaving to meet Shinji and Asuka at Misato's apartment. It was pointless to think about the past when the future was still undecided. She decided to speak to Ritsuko after school about it instead. She hoped that the faux blonde scientist could help her come up with a plan going forward...

It wasn't long before she reached her destination, rang the doorbell, and waited until it was answered. A matter of moments passed before Shinji opened the door. "Hey Rei," he greeted her with that warm smile he always did. "How did you sleep?"

"Not well," she admitted. "How about you?"

His smile shifted into a lopsided frown. "About the same," he replied. "It was nice talking over tea but... I'm still trying to get used to the way things are now..."

Rei nodded. "I understand," she returned softly. "I can understand how it's hard for you, just like how it's been hard for me when you were gone..."

His cheeks reddened a bit. "Yeah... well... at least things with us are mostly the same," he replied. "That's kinda comforting..."

She felt warmth in her chest and her face. At the very least the fact that things were much the same with him as before was rather nice. Maybe if their bond remained strong then things could work out okay... that was if she could survive long enough for it to make a difference. The prospect of the Eleventh Angel appearing again was a great worry, as was the prospect of her having to tell him what she really was. If only she could simply bury her romantic feelings forever... "I- I would agree..." she stammered quietly.

It was then that Asuka appeared in the doorway, her book bag slung over her shoulder. "What are we waiting for?" she inquired gruffly. "Let's get going."

Shinji stepped out of the way and let her pass. "Sure..." he replied softly. "Sounds good..."

Rei fell in beside Shinji just as she did any other day. It was shaping up to be just another day like the last, whatever that meant. At least when the day ended she could go and see Ritsuko to gain some kind of perspective...

---

Kaji sighed heavily as he hung up the payphone he'd been using. It was late in the morning now and Fujita had dropped him at this lonely telephone on the edge of the city. He suspected that the fellow spy was high tailing it out of the area with all haste by now. Both of them were professionals who knew the rules of the game well. Should he be captured and questioned then Fujita's name would certainly come up, as would Misato's. Thankfully he'd managed to keep her at a distance from his moonlighting. She was safe... but he couldn't help but feel guilty at all the trouble he was about to cause her anyway. He'd just finished calling her at her apartment but no one had answered. Most likely she was at her station within NERV by now, he should have called her earlier...

Knowing what was about to happen, what he was about to do, he wanted to hear her voice one last time. He'd wanted to speak to her and apologize for how distant he'd been, how much trouble he'd ever caused her, and tell her exactly how he felt about her. Then again... that probably would have been even more difficult to do had he actually reached her. Instead, he'd left a message asking her to tend to his watermelons and made her a promise he knew that he probably could never keep, that he would say those words he couldn't say eight years ago, that he loved her... Perhaps it was his attempt to hold on to hope, that perhaps he could outlive this day. Perhaps it was just him being a coward. He'd never been good with feelings, not since he'd seen the broken and bloody bodies of his brother and friends a lifetime ago...

He fumbled in his pocket and withdrew his NERV access card and stared down at it with a deep frown. "I never noticed before..." he muttered to himself. "Red... the same shade as blood..."

Kaji closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. He couldn't let such things get in the way right now. This day was the climax, the moment that his entire life had been building towards, he couldn't crack now. No. He'd face his task like the professional he was, do what he had to do afterward, and meet his end with dignity in the aftermath. That was all he could do. One way or another, he'd continue his quest for the truth of things until the very end.

Stuffing his hands back in his pockets he began walking to the nearby train station. He'd catch the next metro to the center of the city and make his way into the geofront. After that he'd apprehend Fuyutsuki in his office after blacking out the cameras on that floor, something that wouldn't be a problem as Fujita had shown him how to do it. Once that was accomplished he'd head to place SEELE had decided on. Hopefully he'd be able to listen in on whatever was being discussed. Hopefully whatever information that he could glean and perhaps pass up the chain before being eliminated would be worth dying for...

---

Ritsuko sat in her office, reading over the data concerning the nearly finished repairs for Units 00 and 02. Within the next two days they would be able to restart full synchronization tests and not just harmonics. Within three, both Evas would be combat operational once again, though some systems and armor might not be fully repaired. Considering what little spare components NERV had to work with she was surprised they'd managed to make do.

She leaned back and looked up at the ceiling, pausing her incessant scrolling through the data on her screen. The last conversation that she'd had with Rei weighed heavy on her mind. The fact that the final Angel, the entity she'd have to eventually designate as the Fifth Child was already in Tokyo 3, was a massive obstacle to overcome. That reality was a difficult one to come to terms with. As much as she wished there was an alternate path there seemed like there wasn't one to take going forward. The only hope she could have was that Gendo had changed his aims...

Gendo... the man who had occupied her heart in a romantic sense for so very long... The fact that he had changed his mind on reuniting with his wife and competing Human Instrumentality clouded her mind. The memory of him clinging to her while he was drunk weighed heavy. Despite her cynicism that moment stuck out to her, especially considering Adam now resided in her desk drawer. Even though she was rather close with Rei she still felt lonely, in the romantic sense at least. Considering everything that had transpired, her comforting Gendo when he was blackout drunk and the few times they'd spoken afterward, perhaps she might have the chance to be with him one day. It was foolish, she knew that, but she couldn't let it go...

"Senpai, are you busy?" a voice shook her from her contemplation.

She turned around in her chair to find Maya standing in the doorway of her office. "Not really," she replied, doing her best to force a peppy smile. "What do you need?"

"I was just wondering when we'll begin regular synchronization testing again," Maya replied. "Now that Unit 00 and 02 are nearly back to full operational capacity we should probably get the pilots in for that soon, right?"

Ritsuko sighed and scowled. Considering how long it had been it was probably a good idea to start as soon as possible. Besides... they had no idea when the next Angel would show itself. They'd been afforded a miraculous reprieve and she doubted it would last much longer, at least, if Rei's memories of the other world still held any sway... "Tomorrow," she replied. "I was thinking of slating a test for the afternoon tomorrow."

"I suppose we're lucky that we haven't had an Angel attack since Shinji was taken in by Unit 01..." Maya murmured nervously.

"We have been," Ritsuko replied, remembering the task she'd assigned her junior earlier in the day. "Almost too lucky. I doubt it will last much longer, so the sooner we prepare the better. I'll let Commander Ikari know what my plans are. Have you finished the diagnostics on the Magi I asked you to run?"

Maya nodded. "Yes, senpai," she returned. "I've been getting quicker with it every day, thanks to watching you."

Ritsuko smiled. She'd never get tired of the enthusiasm Maya showed for her work. "Alright then, I'll call you if I need you for anything else," she replied.

Maya nodded with a grin. "Yes senpai," she chirped before stepping out of the doorway and heading down the hall, leaving Ritsuko alone with her thoughts once again...

---

As soon as Kaji finished blacking out of the camera feeds on the floors he would be traversing he made his way with haste to Vice Commander Fuyutsuki's office, making sure to stay out of the sight of any security personnel. Everything was going to plan so far, all that remained was to apprehend his quarry and get him to SEELE as discreetly as he could.

Fuyutsuki had a tendency to keep his door ajar and today was no exception when Kaji finally reached his office. It was evidence of just how comfortable and secure he felt he surmised. Commander Ikari was the exact opposite, always keeping his door closed. Then again, sneaking up on Commander Ikari in his huge office was impossible, he was too suspicious of a man to allow it. "Good morning," Kaji greeted cheerfully as he stepped into the office, putting on that smile he always wore to hide his true intentions. "How are things, sir?"

Fuyutsuki snickered and regarded him with a grin. "Every day is the same as the last," he replied. "And what brings you to my office, Agent Kaji? Is there some new information you wish to discuss with me?"

Kaji frowned. Fuyutsuki always struck him as a decent person, what was to come next wasn't easy but it had to be done... "No," he replied. "But there is a discussion awaiting your attendance..."

Fuyutsuki's cheerful grin snapped downward and his eyes narrowed. Kaji could see him recoiling in his seat just a bit as well. It was obvious the old man knew that something was up. "Awaiting my attendance?" he replied slowly.

It was now or never... Kaji's hand snapped into his jacket and he drew his handgun, leveling the barrel directly at the vice commander's face. "I'm sorry sir," he spoke somberly. "But at this point I'll kindly ask you to come with me without making a fuss."

Fuyutsuki looked baffled for a moment but a look of understanding washed over him as he raised his hands in surrender. "I see..." he returned softly. "So they're making you do their dirty work are they?"

Kaji nodded, keeping his gun steadily pointed in an impotent threat. At least it wasn't that much of a shock for his target. The vice commander was clever enough and smart enough to put the pieces together without him having to explain. "It certainly seems that way," he replied. "Now please, stand up, turn around, and put your hands behind your back."

Fuyutsuki nodded and silently did as instructed. Kaji pulled a plastic zip tie out of his pocket and fastened it around the older man's wrists. After that he set down his pistol on the vice commander's desk before grabbing a small black cloth from his pocket and tying it around his hostage's face. "Is this truly necessary?" Fuyutsuki returned.

"According to my employers it is," Kaji replied, picking up his pistol, nudging Fuyutsuki toward the hallway with it, making sure to guide him by keeping his unarmed hand on the man's shoulder. "Thank you for being so cooperative."

"A gun to my back is reason enough to cooperate," Fuyutsuki responded flatly.

"I suppose so," Kaji agreed. "So let's keep up appearances for now."

Fuyutsuki chuckled. "So blindfolding and restraining me is all part of a ruse?" he asked.

Kaji said nothing and continued marching him down the hall, checking every corner to ensure they remained unseen during egress...

---

For around an hour after Fuyutsuki had left his office Gendo sat in his seat, continuing to contemplate how to upend SEELE's schemes. Even after weeks of considering the various possible outcomes there seemed to be no viable option with a high enough probability of success, something that continued to frustrate him. However, these circular debates were put on pause when to his surprise a senior member of NERV's security and intelligence department stepped into his office unannounced. "I assume this is important," Gendo growled as the man strode quickly toward his desk. "Otherwise you would have knocked..."

The black suited man stopped his walk about five meters from his desk and issued a shallow bow with his arms at his side. "Sir, I'm terribly sorry but I have grave news to report," he stated, stumbling over his words a bit. "We have reason to believe that around forty five minutes ago the vice commander was kidnapped from within this installation."

Gendo grit his teeth. He could feel the vein next to his temple pulsing in frustration and cold fury. NERV was one of the most secure facilities on planet earth. How on earth could his second in command be apprehended? It was obvious that SEELE were the ones behind this maneuver but how on earth could security be this lacking as to allow it? "I see..." he returned as coolly as he could, fighting back the urge to simply shoot the man in front of him. "How did you allow this to happen?"

"It would seem that the perpetrator blacked out the security feeds for the sections of the floors they would need to traverse, sir," the security officer responded nervously.

Gendo's eyes narrowed and he folded his hands in front of his face in his favored pose of intimidation. So the actual agent responsible for this happening was was someone with a great knowledge of NERV's internal systems... "And do you have an idea of who the perpetrator might be?" he hissed.

The security officer nodded. "Yes sir," he replied. "We have a strong enough suspicion to name Ryouji Kaji as the primary suspect in this incident."

Gendo's eyes widened at the statement. Slowly his lips began to curl upward behind his hands. Just... like... that... the pieces began to come together like an act of divine providence. In seconds the plan began to come together as if he'd caught lightning in a bottle... "I see..." he stated. "See to it that he is apprehended. That is your primary objective."

The security officer nodded. "Yes sir," he replied.

"As Major Katsuragi is a known associate of his, make sure to keep her under observation until the situation is resolved," Gendo continued. "We cannot rule her out as an accomplice."

The security officer nodded again. "Yes sir," he returned.

"Good," Gendo replied. "Dismissed."

The security officer turned and left his office without another word, leaving Gendo alone once more. As soon enough time had elapsed as to guarantee he wouldn't be disturbed when he exited his office he rose from his desk and made his way to his quarters. Once there he retrieved all the documents he'd saved regarding SEELE, the Katsuragi Expedition, Second Impact, the Angels, the Evas, Human Instrumentality, all of it, and placed it in a briefcase he kept in his closet. After that he pulled a micro cassette recorder from his nightstand...

He paused before hitting the record button. Once he did this there would be no going back, the play would be in motion... but that was a risk he was going to have to take. Over the next twenty minutes or so Gendo recorded his testimony of his involvement with SEELE and their plans for Human Instrumentality. Upon completing that he placed the recorded tape into the briefcase and returned to his office.

He sat down at his desk, the thrill of what he was about to execute making him feel almost giddy, like a child about to open a wrapped gift. Yes... this was the best possible option he could take among all the others he'd toyed with so far...

He opened the drawer to his desk and grabbed the secure phone that he kept there, placing the receiver to his ear...

---

After handcuffing Fuyutsuki to the chair in the room SEELE had instructed him to deposit him in Kaji rested against the door and began to listen, pressing his ear against the door. He found it somewhat ironic that they'd instructed him to simply take the vice commander to a rarely used section of the geofront complex. Then again... it would probably make it easier for them to hunt him down and eliminate him. He was the defining loose end in this scenario after all and SEELE didn't like loose ends...

Logically, it made sense to run, to get as far away from this place and Tokyo 3 as possible but it wouldn't matter. He was a dead man walking at this point. NERV or SEELE would certainly have his head after this was over, but if he could at least get a little bit more information, take one more step towards the truth before he met his end he would take that chance. All that met his ears was silence. Either the interrogation hadn't started yet or the sound proofing in this place was better than he anticipated it being.

It was then that his cell phone rang, shattering the tense silence in the hall and making him jolt in surprise. Though it was highly unlikely, the prospect that someone might hear the ring in this place unnerved him. He did not wish to die until he'd gotten as much information as he could... "Hello?" he answered quietly once he'd brought the device to his ear.

"You've been rather busy today..." Commander Ikari's voice sounded in his ear in a guarded, cryptic tone.

His eyes widened. This was quite unexpected and puzzling. Considering the situation he found it perplexing that Commander Ikari would attempt to call him and outright state that he knew what he'd perpetrated. Then again... it could very well be a ploy to locate him using his phone signal... "I suppose I have been," he replied evenly.

"I can imagine that old men put you up to this," Ikari continued. "Am I correct?"

Kaji scowled. Why was he taunting him? If he was doomed to die then at least allow him the decency to die without petty teasing... "You would be correct..." he replied through gritted teeth.

"I see," Commander Ikari returned. "No doubt they see you as a liability at this point, the same way I do..."

Kaji scowled. He'd had just about enough. "Pardon my candor, Ikari, but please, get to the point," he replied evenly.

There was a short pause before Commander Ikari spoke again. "Once you're certain that the old men have finished having their fun, see to it that the professor is returned to NERV headquarters unharmed," he responded in a firm tone of voice. "Once you've done that, I may be able to guarantee your safety."

Kaji couldn't help but snicker at that statement. "May, being the operative word, correct?" he responded glibly.

Commander Ikari didn't acknowledge his quip. "Set a timer for two hours from now," he replied. "When that has elapsed, you know what to do..."

"Yes sir," Kaji returned. "Is there anywhere I should rendezvous with you afterward?"

There was no response to his question. After a moment the line went dead and Kaji was left alone to contemplate what had just transpired.

He couldn't help but be incredulous of the possible guarantee of his safety but it was a chance to survive. Being alive was much better than being dead so he would take it. He put his phone back in his pocket, set a timer on his watch, pressed his ear against the door of the room holding Fuyutsuki, and waited...

---

What had started as a perfectly normal day at the office for Misato had turned completely upside down when two black suited members of NERV Security and Intelligence Section Two entered her office just past noon and asked her to speak with her. The news of the day's events at NERV was rather shocking to say the least. "Vice Commander Fuyutsuki's been kidnapped?" she gasped in shock and bewilderment as soon as the first agent finished his brief. It seemed almost too far fetched to believe but here she was... and she had a sneaking suspicion as to who might be responsible. Most likely Section Two did as well, considering their first thought was to question her about it.

"That's right," the first agent replied. "It happened around two hours ago. The vice commander was last seen in the eighth district."

Misato's eyes narrowed. That just about confirmed her theory, who else would be able to evade NERV's security forces and the surveillance system so easily? The only question was what was his motive? Was it on behalf of the commander or SEELE or the Japanese government? She supposed it didn't matter really, at least in regard to what it meant for her in the moment... "That's inside this facility," she bit back. "What the hell were you idiots in intelligence doing when this happened?"

The senior agent paid no mind to her chastisement. "Someone inside this organization must have been involved," he pressed on, his tone of voice darkening. "We appreciate your cooperation in this matter..."

Misato's lips curved downward. That just about confirmed it... "Someone who could outwit Section Two..." she murmured softly. "Are you suspecting-"

"Ryouji Kaji," the senior officer responded, slipping his hand inside his suit jacket. "He's the suspected mastermind behind this plot."

Misato looked down at her desk. That idiot... didn't he know how much trouble this would cause? Why? Why would he do something like this? His foolish obsession with the truth was going to get him killed... "So that's why you came for me..." she muttered softly.

"We believe you can help us," the second agent responded. "As your colleagues we regret the necessity of including the director of operations as a suspect, but that is the nature of our profession."

Misato reached into her jacket and placed her USP .45 on her desk along with her NERV identification card. She placed her hand underneath her chin and smirked wryly. "And of course, considering the nature of my relationship with him it's a natural precaution," she replied.

"Yes," the second officer returned calmly, almost sympathetically. "Your cooperation would be appreciated..."

There was nothing else she could do other than surrender to them. At least the flash drive containing what Kaji had given her was safe at her apartment... "So..." she spoke up, standing from her desk and putting her hands atop her head. "Is this where you cuff me and lock me away?"

The first agent began stepping around her desk. "Unfortunately it is," he said as he positioned himself behind her. She could hear the click of cuffs unlatching as he grabbed her wrists. "Please don't be offended."

The metal was cold, just like the feeling that was swirling in her heart... "I'm not..." she replied. "I understand why you're doing this..."

---

The spotlight above him in the room he was being held in switched on with an audible crack and Kozo Fuyutsuki raised his head to meet whatever vision that might before him. Though Kaji hadn't roughed him up much the cuffs keeping him restrained to the metal chair he was sitting in had already begun to chafe. He supposed it was better than the zip ties he'd initially been wearing, but not much. Indeed, being restrained for a solid half an hour wasn't pleasant but it would seem that now he'd find out the reason... "It's been a while..." a digitized voice issued from the darkness around him.

"Are your invitations always so violent, Chairman Keel?" he quipped in response.

A large black holographic monolith with the words SEELE 01 in red lettering appeared before him. "There are a number of matters we need to discuss outside of Commander Ikari's hearing," Keel's voice responded. "The nature of your procurement was necessary..."

He couldn't help but smile in the face of the impotent attempts at intimidation the committee was attempting. "You haven't changed at all," he replied. "And how this effects me is inconsequential."

Another monolith flickered into view to his left. "The subject in question has already become an issue," boomed a distorted voice bearing a Russian accent. "Thus these measures have become inevitable."

A third monolith blinked into existence to his right. "Please understand our situation..." spoke a distorted German voice.

Fuyutsuki couldn't help but smirk. Such show of force for very little gain. Now that Ikari had changed his mind on things he had even less of a reason to capitulate to this show of force... "Oh, now this is surprising," he replied. "It isn't the committee requesting me but SEELE..."

The other monoliths that SEELE so loved using to convene began flickering into existence. "Creating a new god is not on our agenda," one of them stated, referring to Unit 01's consumption of the Fourteenth Angel's core.

"We hope that you will cooperate, Professor Fuyutsuki," another spoke up.

Fuyutsuki couldn't help but allow himself a moment of nostalgia, closing his eyes and smiling. It wasn't often that someone besides Ikari referred to him by his previous formal title. "You flatter me..." he replied after a moment. "But I haven't gone by that title in quite some time. Now tell me, what exactly do you want?"

"Why is it that Gendo Ikari allowed for the creation of a living god?" one of the monoliths barked.

"Yes," another member of SEELE followed up. "Why did he allow such blasphemy?"

Fuyutsuki retained his smirk. Of course these foolish bastards would be completely oblivious to the real nature of Ikari's schemes. "There was no other way to defeat the Fourteenth Angel," he replied. "Unit 01's unintended awakening was the sole saving factor in that incident."

"Or so Ikari would say," Keel responded in the guise of SEELE 01. "Considering the nature of the Eva involved, how can we be certain this wasn't unintended?"

"You can't," Fuyutsuki countered. "But it is the truth of the matter."

"Nevertheless," another monolith spoke up. "A living god was created as a result of the Fourteenth Angel's attack upon NERV. This can spell serious issues for the scenario that SEELE has outlined..."

Fuyutsuki couldn't help but chuckle at this accusation. If only they had a clue as to how deeply Ikari had defied them... "It can, but I can assure you that it will not," he replied coolly. "Commander Ikari remains loyal to your scenario."

"Does he now?" Keel scoffed. "Considering the various breaches over the last few months we have reason to doubt your claims. Surely you understand."

Fuyutsuki smirked. "What such breaches do you speak of?" he inquired.

"Feigning ignorance will get you nowhere," one of the monoliths snapped.

"Indeed," another chimed in. "You know full well how Gendo Ikari has attempted to subvert our will."

"For instance, the delays in implementing the Dummy System," Keel stated. "This in turn led to Unit 01's awakening and the combat effectiveness of NERV to be limited until now."

"You'd have to ask Dr. Akagi about the reason for the delays," Fuyutsuki responded. "Ikari had nothing to do with that. As I've said, everything that transpired was unintentional."

"And what of the disappearance of the Adam sample?" Keel inquired, his voice sounding especially ominous via the computerized modulation he used when speaking as SEELE 01. "Its loss was a great setback, and we do not know who possesses it currently, if anyone. Can you be certain that Ikari was not behind this?"

Fuyutsuki chuckled. They truly were grasping at straws, so ironic that men like this had the world in the palm of their hands... "Commander Ikari informs me of all his dealings," he replied. "If he was responsible I would have known."

"But do you know?" another monolith accused. "How can we be certain that you're telling us the truth? Does your loyalty lie with us or with Ikari?"

Fuyutsuki remained calm in the face of this pointed question. He had to. Failing to do so would mean his life... "My loyalty lies with NERV's stated purpose," he replied. "Ikari's possible machinations do not concern me."

"A cautious answer," Keel replied darkly. "Fitting for a man who once tried to stand against us. Need I remind you of the result of that transgression?"

Fuyutsuki's thin smile began to waver and contort into a frown. "I do not need to be reminded of such things," he replied. "That is in the distant past."

"Indeed," Keel continued. "It is in the distant past... and now time is running short. Can you guarantee that the scenario that we have ordained from the Dead Sea Scrolls will be carried out?"

Fuyutsuki stared up at the monolith representing Keel. "I'm not sure that I'm in a position to sway things one way or another," he replied evenly.

"Perhaps not," the fourth SEELE monolith chimed in.

"But we could make it so," another monolith stated.

"If we cannot trust Ikari with NERV we could easily replace him with you..." yet another spoke up.

Fuyutsuki paused, thinking hard on what to say next. If he said the wrong thing now then it would make or break everything, throwing away everything that he and Ikari were now working towards... "I doubt that I am capable of managing the complexities of NERV in the way that Ikari can," he returned. "Ikari is the consummate administrator and I am decidedly lacking in those qualities."

"Indeed," one of the monoliths spoke. "That is why he was originally selected as the head of GEHIRN and subsequently NERV."

"And you still trust him to carry out our designs?" another asked.

"I do," Fuyutsuki replied firmly.

There was a heavy silence that seemed to last forever until Keel spoke again. "We shall continue watching Ikari with suspicion," he replied. "And we shall intervene should we deem it necessary..."

He didn't like the implications of that comment and he couldn't stop himself from posing a question in response to it. "And what form would that intervention take should that measure need to be implemented?" he inquired.

"Nothing will stand in the way of SEELE..." Keel responded ominously. "Our will shall be carried out one way or another..."

"The prophecies of the scripture shall be fulfilled," another monolith chorused.

"With or without Gendo Ikari," yet another warned.

"Or you..." Keel added.

If he had any hope of getting out of the situation he was currently in Fuyutsuki knew that he had to talk smoothly. As it was, it seemed his chances of escaping without giving away too much were slimming by the minute... "I've said all I can on the matters at hand," he replied. "Have you any further need of me?"

"Your release shall come eventually," Keel returned.

Fuyutsuki's eyebrows furrowed at that statement. What exactly did it mean? "Eventually?" he levied, the inquiry coming a bit more nervously than he intended.

"Perhaps your absence may provoke an action that will justify our mistrust in Ikari," Keel replied. "Do not expect to leave this room any time soon..."

The monoliths disappeared one by one and the spotlight above his head turned off, plunging the room into complete darkness. Fuyutsuki frowned. At least Ikari was a calm enough person not to do anything rash, or at least he hoped. Either way, all he could do now was wait until SEELE decided to release him, whenever that might be...

---

Section Two had taken her to a holding room after she'd surrendered to them and once inside they'd shut the lights off, most likely with the intent to unnerve her. Misato hated to admit it but the tactic was working. She hated the darkness ever since the Second Impact. Every time she was alone in the dark it just reminded her of those moments of horror. She'd remember floating in the capsule, being rescued by men in hazmat suits, being tested and examined and probed... she hated it.

Her thoughts drifted to Kaji, trying to distract herself from those horrible memories that were plaguing her consciousness. If he was truly the one responsible for kidnapping Vice Commander Fuyutsuki what was his reasoning? Didn't he realize what sort of trouble he was getting himself into? Logically she understood he probably knew the risks and the consequence... but why? That questioned lingered even though she had a good idea of what the answer was as well. That stupid fool and his self destructive quest for the truth... she could only hope that he'd find a way out of the mess he'd created for himself even though it wasn't likely to happen.

Memories of the last time they'd seen one another filled her mind. Had he known at the time that something like this was coming? Was that the entire reason he'd given her the files he had? She supposed that like so many things she might never know if things didn't work out... she hated that. To think that she still hadn't been able to tell him how she really felt about him even after their tryst in the love hotel... that was something she knew she'd regret for the rest of her life if she never got to see him again.

"Kaji you idiot..." she whispered quietly to the void, pulling her legs up and hugging her knees. "Why did it have to come to this?"

Deafening silence was all that answered her...

---

The school day was over and it had been normal... well, as normal as things could be after what happened to Touji. Shinji found himself walking between Rei and Nagisa with Asuka on the other side of him as they left the school grounds. Even though things were still tense between everyone, he was glad that the day was over. Watching how everyone shot him strange glances throughout the day and the fact that Kensuke and Horaki kept giving him pitiful looks stung. All it did was intensify those feelings of alienation and guilt that wouldn't go away... "Is anyone else glad today is over?" he murmured softly.

"Yes..." Rei murmured softly.

Asuka responded with a scowl and a snort. "You know how I feel about having to sit through these stupid classes."

"I also find a severe sense of boredom sitting in a desk for hours," Nagisa agreed. "The most important education comes from lived experience, yes?"

Shinji couldn't help but smile momentarily. Nagisa certainly was strange but he was starting to grow on him. "I guess so," he replied... and then the memories began to swirl, causing him to frown "But I've lived through a lot that I wish I hadn't had to experience too..."

Asuka nodded, her scowl deepening. "Yeah... I can actually agree with you on that..." she grumbled.

"We're all the product of our yesterdays..." Nagisa mused. "Without those experiences we wouldn't be who we are. Why should we do anything but embrace them?"

Shinji looked down at his shoes, thinking about Touji, about how even now his relationship with his father was strained, about how alone his experience had made him... "It's not that easy..." he muttered.

"Yeah... I hate agreeing with Shinji but he's right..." Asuka practically snarled. "There's plenty I wish I didn't have to deal with..."

There was a pause before Nagisa replied. "I never said it was easy..." he returned, his voice losing a bit of that chipper tone he always spoke in.

Asuka sighed. "Whatever..." she grumbled. "I'm just not in the mood the hopeful... not until I'm back in the Eva again..."

That caught Shinji's attention. He vaguely remembered hearing that the Evas were almost back to operational status. "Speaking of that, when are we going to start sync tests again?" he inquired.

"Hopefully soon," Asuka immediately responded. "I'm sick of sitting around doing nothing, remembering how the last battle went..."

Shinji flinched, the sight of her decapitated, limbless Eva flashing in his mind's eye. The consequence of his decision to leave had caused most if not all of the strain between himself and his redheaded friend. "It's not your fault what happened..." he murmured softly.

Asuka remained silent, chewing her lip for a number of seconds before responding. "Doesn't matter who's fault it is..." Asuka huffed. "It still happened..."

Silence fell amid the group but for the sound of their footsteps on the sidewalk. Shinji turned his head to the left and looked at Rei. She'd been really quiet, more quiet than usual... "Hey, Rei, is something on your mind?" he asked.

She seemed to flinch a little bit before looking at him with a somewhat nervous or perhaps a somber expression. "I have to go to NERV..." she replied just above a whisper. "Dr. Akagi wished to see me today."

"Did she say why?" Asuka inquired, her voice sounding concerned with an edge of excitement. Shinji couldn't help but think she sounded a bit more like herself from weeks past, moments that were now a distant memory.

Rei shook her head. "No," she responded decisively. "She didn't..."

Asuka sighed. "Well, while your there can you ask about when the next synch tests are?" she asked.

Rei nodded. "Sure..." she replied quietly.

The four of them reached the corner where Nagisa usually departed and halted their march. "I'll be going now," the silver haired boy stated with a smile. "Take care now."

"Do you mind if I keep walking with you?" Asuka asked him. "Would be nice to take a walk or something."

Nagisa looked surprised and Shinji was certain his own expression was something similar. "I wasn't planning on it but I wouldn't mind," he replied after a moment.

"It definitely beats sitting alone at the apartment," Asuka stated quietly, stepping toward the white haired boy. "Come on, let's go..."

The two of them departed from the street corner, crossing the street and heading on their way. Shinji and Rei said nothing as they watched them go. He was at a bit of a loss for words, not sure of what he could comment on this event, and it would seem that Rei felt the same since she offered no comment. Instead she herself changed the subject. "I'll need to be heading to NERV now..." she whispered apologetically, her eyes hidden behind her bangs. "The nearest entrance is near..."

Shinji regarded her for a moment. She really looked like something was bothering her. She always seemed to shrink into herself and hide her eyes whenever she was feeling anxious or upset. "Rei, are you sure you're alright?" he asked.

Rei met his gaze and nodded but he could tell from the look in her eyes that there actually was something bothering her. Probably she just didn't want to worry him. He understood that but he didn't like it... "Yeah," she replied with a half smile. "I will be..."

He nodded, unable to shake his frown. "Alright..." he replied. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"See you soon," Rei replied warmly before walking away in the opposite direction that Asuka and Nagisa had gone, leaving him to continue his trek back to Misato's apartment alone...

Eventually he reached his destination but there was no one there to greet him. Misato was most likely still at work. She always worked long hours so that was to be expected but it meant he was alone in the apartment with nothing to do and no one to talk to. Though he'd often found solitude pleasant nowadays he found that company, any company, helped to keep his mind off of everything he felt guilty about or his anxieties surrounding his friends, Rei, and the unknown future ahead. It was moments when he was alone like this that he felt completely adrift. The only thing that helped was thinking about the conversation he'd had with his mother in the core of Unit 01, how life was worth living just to keep living... he really hoped that was true. The prospect that things could get better no matter how bad they were was all that kept him going sometimes.

He sat down in the living room to watch some television, scrolling the channels until he landed on a family sitcom. At first he was content with zoning out and watching the fictional semi-functional family on the television perform comedic antics but after a while it started to depress him, getting him thinking about his own familial relationships...

He'd long ago accepted both Misato and Asuka as a surrogate family. He really liked them. Dare he say it... he loved them. He loved them like the teasing older sister and grating younger sister they'd become for him... but it wasn't the same as a real family like most people enjoyed. They were brought together by circumstance and without Eva they wouldn't be a family at all. Blood family was something that was almost alien to him. All he had for blood relatives was his father and his father was still so distant even if they'd been getting a little closer over his time in Tokyo 3. Seeing the father figure in the sitcom on TV... it made him wish he could have a normal family like that...

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, flipping it open, his thumb hovering over his keypad. He hadn't spoken to his father since he'd awoken in the hospital after escaping the core... how would he open a conversation if he called him? Maybe he could just call him and ask to meet and play another game of shogi? Yes... that was probably the best thing he could do. He dialed the number to his father's office and waited, pressing the phone to his ear...

The phone rang once, then twice, then three times before his father answered. "Ikari speaking," he answered.

Shinji's breath hitched. Even now with things having gotten a bit better between the two of them it was still a bit intimidating to speak to his father. "H- hello father..." he stammered.

"Shinji..." his father replied, his voice sounding warm but tense. "What is it?"

It was a good sign that he hadn't dismissed him immediately... "How are you?" he asked.

There was a pause before his father responded. "Well enough," he replied.

That seemed like as good an answer as he was going to attain. "I... I wanted to know when you wanted to meet again," he returned. "Perhaps we could play shogi again?"

Again, there was a pause before his father responded. "That would be pleasant," he replied evenly. "But I cannot be certain when I can make time for that. I have many things occupying my time presently."

Shinji frowned. "What sort of things?" he asked, hoping to gain any sort of perspective into his father's life.

"I am not at liberty to explain," his father replied. "Many administrative aspects of NERV are occupying my time presently. Synchronization testing should be resuming in the next few days."

"Oh..." Shinji responded timidly. "Then... I guess we'll see each other soon then..."

"Indeed we shall," his father replied. "We'll talk soon, Shinji."

"Yeah. Talk soon..." he replied glumly.

His father hung up the phone after that. Shinji's frown deepened as he let the phone fall away from his ear, leaving him alone with his thoughts once more. After talking with his father the sitcom simply didn't satisfy. Shinji rose from where he sat and made his way to his room, grabbed his SDAT player, and popped in his earphones, tuning out the world as he used to do...

---

So far the walk had been in silence with Asuka simply allowing herself to drift with Kaworu dutifully following just behind her. She didn't really have any destination in mind but that didn't matter, it was just an excuse to not be near Shinji, Rei or Misato...

"How long do you plan to avoid them?" Kaworu spoke up, breaking the pleasant silence.

Asuka clenched her fists at her side and grit her teeth. Of course nothing pleasant could last long enough for her to really enjoy it. That was just her luck, and of course he would be the one to throw reality in her face. He had a way of making her confront things she didn't want to... but then again, she usually felt a little better after talking about those things with him. Still... she never wanted to talk about those things, she had her pride to consider. "As long as I damn well feel like it," she snarled in response.

"I don't see how that is a solution to your problems..." he murmured in response.

Asuka halted her march and turned around to face him. "What do you know!" she barked. "Why do you care!?"

Kaworu blinked back at her with a wide eyed, confused expression. Before he responded though his eyes softened and his lips curved downward "I- I've... grown to care about you... Soryu-san," he replied. "I do not enjoy seeing you in turmoil."

Those words ignited a fire in her cheeks and caused her heart to skip a beat. Why the hell did he have to say shit like that at times like these? She turned away from him, unwilling to think about whatever it was her body's reaction to those words meant. "Wh- whatever..." she stammered. "Can you respect that I'd rather not talk about it?"

"I can..." he responded softly, in that kind and warm tone he often spoke in. "What would you rather talk about then? I'm a bit tired of this silent, aimless walk..."

Asuka frowned, her heartbeat slowing to normal as she began walking again. "Okay, so what do you want to talk about then?" she asked.

"I'm not certain," Kaworu replied, falling in step beside her. "You can choose the topic."

She appreciated the fact that he let her take charge without being a complete doormat, unlike Shinji... "Well... you mentioned you transferred in to Tokyo 3 when we first met," she returned quietly. "Where are you originally from?"

"Germany..." Kaworu replied after a moment of pause.

Asuka's eyes widened at that statement. Germany? How could someone as stiff and awkward as him come from Germany? She'd spent a good amount of her life there she she should know! "Really?" she asked, turning to the side to look at him. "What part?"

"Berlin," he replied with a downcast expression.

Asuka frowned. He was keeping something from her, she could sense it. "To tell the truth, you don't really strike me as a Berlinner," she returned quietly. "I would have pegged you for native Japanese easily."

Kaworu chuckled wryly. "I assure you, it's the truth," he replied quietly.

Asuka wrinkled her nose. There was just no way. He had to be lying to her, especially considering he didn't have that distinctive German accent when he spoke Japanese. "Then how come you're so..." she trailed off, unsure of how to word it.

"So... what?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "How come you're so stiff and formal?" she continued, shooting him a sidelong glance. "I mean, I've spent time in Berlin, and compared to me, you're a total stiff!"

Kaworu's soft smile fell into a contemplative frown and he didn't respond for several moments, only staring ahead with a far off look in his eyes. "I had... firm expectations to live up to," he returned in a hushed tone of voice.

Asuka frowned, his words reminding her of her own experiences. His statement brought to mind all the memories of the hours of initial training, fighting to graduate from college, desperately trying to get her mother to notice her when she was alive... "Oh..." she replied. "I see... but how come you don't have a German accent?"

Kaworu's expression retained that far away gaze. "I didn't have many opportunities to speak German while I was there, and while I'm from there originally I was never there long. Most of my life has been spent in Japan, and rather isolated at that," he replied. "That's all I can say on the matter..."

He seemed rather reluctant to explain so she wouldn't pry. Asuka herself had things she didn't like to talk about, like her mother... but even so, her curiosity had been piqued. She wanted to know more about him, especially considering this newest information the two of them had a bit more in common than she'd initially thought. "How come you came back to Japan now?" she inquired.

Kaworu's frown deepened and his lips began to curl in a grimace, as if he was disgusted by something. "I asked for permission to return and my... family... allowed it," he replied. "To be frank, I'm happy to be away from them presently."

Asuka nodded. Yeah... she could definitely relate to that desire to be away from relatives. The way things were between herself, her father, and stepmother... she was glad she had half a world of distance to help that pain to dull itself. "I can relate..." she murmured softly. "My family isn't the best either..."

"We all have difficulties that arise from our circumstances," he replied after a moment of pause, his voice returning somewhat to that charming, airy cheer it normally carried. "That is part of the human experience, correct?"

"Yeah, that's true..." Asuka replied with a scowl. "But it's still hard to accept it... it still sucks..."

Kaworu nodded. "I suppose that is true..." he replied.

The mood was seriously getting bleak and Asuka wasn't content with that. She wanted to hang out with her friend and alleviate her depression, not get more depressed. She heaved a heavy sigh. "Well, this is getting dark," she stated flatly. "Want to talk about something else?"

"I'm not sure what you would wish to talk about," he replied.

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Literally anything," she returned. "Anything that isn't totally depressing. I don't know, ask me a question or something?"

The two of them halted at a street corner and began waiting for the light to cross. Silence hung in the air for a moment before Kaworu spoke again. "So... what sort of things do you enjoy doing to pass the time?" he asked. "Other than wandering the city streets that is."

Asuka shrugged. "A few things, I guess," she replied. "Some times I play video games to pass the time, or watch TV, y'know, typical things."

Kaworu's features took on a curious expression. "Video games?" he asked, seemingly puzzled.

Asuka's eyebrows lifted and her mouth fell open slightly. His reaction took her completely off guard. It reminded her of a conversation she'd had on the same topic with Rei not too long ago. Her mouth spread into a smile, she closed her eyes, and laughed, nearly doubling over from guffaws. "Are you serious!?" she exclaimed once she found a modicum of composure. "You don't know what video games are either?"

He tilted his head to the side. "Either?" he asked.

That sent her into another fit of laughter. "Wow..." she puffed, composing herself again. "Yeah, Rei didn't know what they were either. It's like I'm having that same conversation I had with her but with you. Are you sure the two of your aren't related?"

Kaworu's lips curved down into a frown. "I see..." he murmured in reply. "And no... despite our similar appearance we're not related as far as I know."

Asuka's brow furrowed. "Sorry if I keep harping on that," she replied. "It's just you guy's really are a bit similar..."

He shrugged. "If that is your assumption then so be it," he returned, retaining his frown. "I do not know her well enough to make that assessment."

Asuka nodded, suddenly feeling a bit guilty for laughing at him. The crosswalk light signaled they could cross and so the two of them continued on their aimless march in step beside one another. "So..." she continued somewhat nervously, hoping not to upset him. "Since you've never played a video game before... do you want to try?"

He glanced at her with that frown she so despised but in a moment his lips began to curl upward and that light in his eyes began to shine. "Is it an experience you think is beneficial?" he asked.

She couldn't help but smile. Something about the formal and refined way he worded things never ceased to make her grin. "Oh yeah," she replied in a tone that belied the challenge she was about to put him through. "We should go to an arcade."

"An arcade?" he asked, sounding puzzled.

She rolled her eyes. "Jeez, your family really did keep you sheltered," she replied. "An arcade is a place where there's a whole bunch of game machines to play."

"Sounds like an entertaining place," Kaworu returned with a smile. "And I assume you wish to go to one now?"

That sounded suspiciously like a request to her. Asuka grinned. "You know it," she replied. "I know of one somewhat nearby if you want to join me."

Kaworu nodded, his grin widening. "Lead the way, Soryu-san," he returned. "I'd be happy to partake."

Asuka sighed and rolled her eyes but maintained her smile. "I've told you many times, you can call me Asuka, dammit," she replied.

"As you wish, Soryu-san," he replied, his tone jovial and carefree as it ever had been.

Asuka had to admit, as strange as he was, his formal ways had a bit of charm to them. Still... a part of her really wanted to hear him call her by her name at least once. As happy as he made her, she wanted more from him...

Even so, she was happy with the way things were... for now.

---

Rei made the trip to NERV headquarters as swiftly as she could but it was still too long for her liking. The dread and anxiety she felt was making her sick to her stomach. The sense that everything was about to fall apart was overwhelming her. Her fast walk to Ritsuko's office seemed to puzzle a few of the staff that she passed on the way but she was beyond caring about other's opinions of her. All she cared about was trying to find some way or words to alleviate the dread she was feeling.

As soon as she reached her confidant's office she rapped her knuckles against the door and waited, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt until the doctor answered. Ritsuko looked a bit surprised to see her when she opened the door but she still greeted her warmly. "Hello Rei," the faux blonde said. "I wasn't expecting you today."

"May I come in?" Rei asked quietly.

Ritsuko stepped aside and gestured for her to enter. "Of course," she replied. "What's on your mind? Is something wrong?"

Rei sat down in the folding chair that Ritsuko kept for her in the office. She found herself hesitating, unsure of exactly what to say. Putting everything into a singular statement wasn't an easy thing to do. "Things are... different then they used to be..." she murmured, staring down at her knees.

Ritsuko sat down in the swivel chair she used at her desk and faced her. "I'm not sure I know what you're referring to," she replied.

Rei fidgeted with the hem of her skirt. "Everything," she returned softly. "Things between myself, Shinji, and Asuka... they're just not the same."

"Well, all things considered, that's to be expected," Ritsuko replied evenly. "I mean, I can imagine it would be difficult for things to be as they were between the three of you considering recent and varied experiences the three of you have had in the last month."

It was certainly a statement of fact but that wasn't the entirety of what Rei was trying to get at. Indeed the social dynamics had changed between herself and her friends but... that slow distancing she was feeling, that gulf growing between them wasn't the full essence of her worry. There was more to it than that. The real crux of her anxiety was that despite her efforts to change things she knew that time was running out and things were still going very similar to to how they had in the other world, both in regards to her friends and the world at large. Yes, Commander Ikari had abandoned his original aims, but there were greater threats than him anyway. Even worse was that some of the choices she'd made to change things, namely imploring Ritsuko to keep the Dummy System from being installed until the infected Unit 03 had been dispatched, had arguably made things worse or had threatened to. That feeling of powerlessness was killing her inside... "I just... see things going like they did before..." she spoke out in a whisper, raising her gaze to meet Ritsuko's. Saying it aloud almost felt wrong, like it would make it certain. "I'm afraid that the future can't be changed..."

Ritsuko's frown intensified and her eyebrows knit up in worry. Perhaps she was considering the possibility or perhaps she was just sad for her, Rei couldn't decide which. "Why would you assume such?" the faux blonde inquired quietly.

Rei once again looked down at her knees, bracing her balled fists against them. "It's just... even though things are different, everything is still so similar to how it was in the other world," she replied, her composure getting weaker with every word. "Perhaps I haven't done enough to change things... or maybe the things I can change don't matter. I worry that things... can't be changed for the better."

Deathly silence hung in the room for an indeterminate amount of time. Then, cutting like a blade, a soft chuckle from Ritsuko shattered it. "Maybe it's my predisposition as a scientist, but after all the things you've experienced you can't possibly believe in a silly thing like fate," she returned incredulously, rueful laughter barely suppressed.

Rei couldn't help but feel a bit of indignation in regards to that comment. "I don't know what to believe..." she murmured in response, grimacing as she did so. "But I don't think what's been done has been enough..."

Ritsuko scooted her chair closer to her, reached out, and took her hand with a warm expression. "Rei, pending he doesn't change his mind, the fact that Commander Ikari chose to give you Adam is proof that things have changed," she replied. "Even if nothing else changes, again, pending he doesn't backtrack his choice, all we need to do is survive Angels and repel the attack on NERV."

Rei's frown deepened, looking the faux blonde in the eyes with a serious expression. "That is easier said than done..." she replied.

Ritsuko's smile evaporated, replaced with a more contemplative look that wasn't quite a frown but clearly displayed how nervous she really was. "Very true..." she returned softly. "But we do not have many options..."

Rei bit the inside of her lip and turned her eyes to the floor. "Indeed we don't..." she murmured in reply.

"At the very least, when the time comes, we know what the last Angel will be," Ritsuko stated in a falsely confident tone that Rei easily saw through. "And I'm sure we'll find a way to avert the attack by the JSSDF, if it's even in the cards."

Rei nodded. "I just don't know how..." she returned quietly. "But I suppose that you're right that we must simply... endure for now."

Ritsuko squeezed her hand. "That's all we ever can do really..." she replied.

Rei nodded again, her frown unwavering. Indeed, that was all that they could do at the moment. Just surviving another day was the only thing truly within her power to control... "Yeah..." she returned. "This is true..."

---

The timer on his watch began to beep and Kaji drew a deep breath to steady his nerves. He pulled out his NERV access card and studied the blood red color for a moment before putting it away with a frown. "Well... I guess it's time to go," he muttered to himself. Indeed... it was time to carry out the last of his orders from Commander Ikari, most likely the last task he'd ever be assigned...

With heavy footsteps he made his way to the room that Fuyutsuki was being held in. Once there, he pried the door open and stood in the frame, staring into the room. The vice commander was there, still shackled to the chair where he'd left him. The older man turned his head but couldn't crane his neck far enough to see him. "Is that you?" he asked a bit nervously.

"Yes it is," Kaji replied, slipping into that almost playful, cavalier tone of voice he often took on when things were most dire. "It's been a little while, hasn't it?"

He made his way to the imprisoned Fuyutsuki and knelt behind him, unlocking the shackles as gently as he could. "You know that this action will probably result in your death, don't you?" the vice commander spoke, his voice low and serious, more a statement than a question.

Kaji smiled a somber smile. Of course he knew that... but having it rubbed in stirred such a melancholy feeling. "All I want is to get closer to the truth, to have it within my grasp," he replied. "And besides, I imagine the committee will soon find out that I diverted the Adam sample to Ikari, so I have to guard my own interests. Otherwise a lot of bad things will happen..."

Fuyutsuki stood up from the chair. "I imagine a lot of bad things will happen regardless," he returned.

Kaji turned and started for the door with Fuyutsuki following behind him. "I suppose you're right," he replied. "The end won't be a happy thing no matter what we do..."

"You mean for the world or for you?" Fuyutsuki inquired as the two of them began their stealthy egress back towards safer parts of the geofront.

"Both," Kaji replied flatly.

Fuyutsuki emitted a contemplative sound, a low hum. "You speak of finding the truth..." he continued. "But do you really seek the truth about NERV, SEELE, and Second Impact, or is it really about finding the truth about yourself that you do the things you do?"

Kaji's eyes widened. He'd never really given it much thought, always thinking about the former of those two possibilities, hyper focusing on it but... perhaps Fuytuski had a point. After seeing his brother and friends killed... he'd broken for a while. He'd asked himself so many times why he'd been the one to live and they hadn't. He'd kept other people at arms length out of fear that he might just end up losing them like he had them and often lost them because of that, like how he'd lost Misato for a while. Through it he'd always asked himself if that was really him, if he was really the kind of person he thought he was, a person he didn't really like. All of that got to stay buried when he was living the life of a spy, yet... he still couldn't help but nurture things, like his watermelons. He smiled softly. "I can see why Ikari keeps you around, professor..." he returned quietly.

Fuyutsuki didn't acknowledge his quip. "I hope that you find what you've sought after in what time you may have," he stated calmly but somberly.

Kaji's smile faded and he continued down the hall with a deep, contemplative frown. "Yeah..." he muttered, unable to maintain the cheerful facade any longer. "I hope so too..."

---

The afternoon at the arcade was actually more fun than she'd expected it to be, so much so that she'd actually completely forgotten about all the things that troubled her for a little while. Comparing Rei's introduction to gaming versus Kaworu was like comparing night and day. Rei had grasped it easily but Kaworu had seemed to fail at just about every game she encouraged him to try. The only exception had been the race cars but even then he still placed lower than she she did. Still, his dry, observant comments provided levity, and watching him look with wonder and the flashing lights reminded her of herself when she first played games as a kid...

Of course though, their afternoon had to eventually end. The two of them had walked together for a little bit before eventually parting ways, leaving her alone again. As soon as she was alone all the thoughts of inadequacy, inferiority, and failure began to come back... but there was more on her mind than just that now.

As she walked along the streets of Tokyo 3 she couldn't help but think about her relationship with Kaworu, what it was and where it was going, and how it compared with her other friendships. Considering how much time she'd been spending with him at school and just talking to him in general she definitely thought of him as a close friend by now. Hell, when she actually thought about it, over the past few weeks she'd spent more time interacting with him than she had Rei or Shinji... but what did that mean, and why did he stir such strange thoughts within her? Somehow he seemed to know just what to say to break down her barriers, to reassure her, or make her feel flustered. It was so frustrating but she also kind of liked it. She didn't understand it. Could it possibly mean...

She grit her teeth and clenched her fists at her side as she continued her march toward Misato's apartment. No! No, that wasn't something she wanted to consider, not after Kaji, not after Shinji... she'd been burned enough in the romance department. She wasn't about to consider the prospect, especially in regards to someone as weird as he was. How would it look even if it was a possibility? He was kinda cute but he wasn't hot like Kaji and he wasn't a pilot like Shinji, she'd look desperate! Was she really that desperate? No... no, she didn't want to consider it. Besides, she'd probably just get burned again, it was best to just keep him as a friend and nothing more...

"What the hell is wrong with you, Asuka?" she hissed under her breath. "A guy puts up with you for five minutes and you start feeling things? Pathetic..."

Indeed, it was pathetic, and she would consider it no longer... but she still wanted to lean on him. It soothed her to be near him, to listen to his philosophical musings, to just... allow herself to relax around him in a way that she couldn't around Rei or Shinji or Hikari. It was so profoundly pathetic. She hated it... and yet she didn't. It was impossible to put into words the way he made her feel...

Soon enough she'd returned home and made her way to the living room after kicking off her shoes in the entryway. There she found Shinji laying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with his headphones in. He looked kind of dejected, a somber and vacant expression on his face. It sickened her but she also felt the need to reach out. Perhaps it was partly her behavior that had upset him. She had been rather cruel to him lately, something Kaworu had pointed out a time or two... "Hey," she called out. "I'm home..."

He didn't react, simply staring blankly up at the ceiling. That only served to deepen her frown. They were friends at one point, right? Why wasn't he paying attention to her? She walked over to him and stared directly down at him, scowling. "I'm home," she repeated. "You good?"

Shaken from his daze, he removed his earphones and blinked up at her. "Oh... hey Asuka," he said lamely. "You're home a bit late."

"I was out with Kaworu," she replied. "We went to an arcade. What's up with you?"

He sat up and looked away from her. "I uh... I'm fine," he returned after a moment. "I'm just... trying to get used to how things are now."

She nodded. "Yeah, it's not easy..." she replied softly. "Everything is different now..."

A silence hung in the room for a moment. It felt so tense, tense in a way that she couldn't remember the pauses between them ever being. Was this just part of that new normal or had this distance between them always been there and she'd just never seen it? She didn't know... and she hated that. "I talked to my father on the phone after I got home..." he murmured softly.

Of course he'd try and talk about his own problems at a time like this, as if he couldn't see that she was actually trying to allow him to see hers for once... "Yeah?" she replied. "How did that go?"

He sighed. "He's busy..." he replied. "He can't see me for a while... It's tough..."

Something about the way he said that elicited sympathy despite her desire for it not to. "Family is... complicated," she replied. "Trust me, I know."

He nodded. "Yeah... it is," he returned quietly, contemplatively. "I wish it wasn't, but you're right."

She forced a smirk. This was like the old days, right? "You shouldn't let it depress you," she replied. "He'll find time at some point, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose so..." he murmured before turning to look at her with a somber expression. "Are we... alright?" he asked.

Her smirk immediately disappeared, once again replaced with a scowl. "I don't know..." she replied. "It's hard to talk to you... or Rei... Things will never be like they were..."

"I'm sorry for that," he returned. "I don't know what to say..."

This was getting too heavy for her liking. This was why they didn't talk anymore in the first place, all the issues that she didn't want to talk about or confront being thrown in her face constantly. Even being near him reminded her of her failures and inadequacies... it was best to just leave instead of trying to keep talking about it with him. What was the point if she couldn't reconcile his success against her failures? What was the point if it wouldn't bring any form of catharsis? There wasn't any... She turned her back to him. "Then don't say anything..." she replied.

"I... I won't..." he replied timidly.

With that, Asuka marched out of the living room and headed to her bedroom. Once there she threw herself on her bed and buried her face in her pillow, trying to block out the thoughts and memories of her mother, her father, her stepmother, the Eva... all of it. If only she could have spent another hour, another minute with Kaworu at the arcade... then maybe reality wouldn't hurt so bad...

---

Misato flinched and straightened out in the chair she was sitting in when the door to the room she was being held in suddenly opened, flooding the darkened space with light. After getting her bearings she then watched as a man from Section Two entered holding a tray with her identification card and her service handgun on it. "Here," the man said. "Thank you for your cooperation."

The look of surprise left her face, replaced with a pensive expression. "It is over now?" she asked, unable to fully keep the apprehension out of her voice.

"Yes it is," the agent responded flatly. "A solution to the problem has been found..."

She closed her eyes as she grasped her handgun and slid it back into the holster inside her jacket. "Where is he?" she asked with a heavy sigh, grasping her NERV identification card in her hand.

"I wouldn't know that," the agent replied before turning on his heel and exiting the room, leaving her alone like she had been for some odd hours...

Misato scowled. Of course they wouldn't tell her what had become of him. When all was said and done she knew what would ultimately come of the situation but she didn't want to believe it. She had to hold on to hope that somehow Kaji would find a way to extricate himself from the situation he'd put himself into...

She drifted through the halls until she eventually got back to her office, sitting down with a heavy sigh. There was still so much paperwork to attend to regarding the refits and cost write offs for repairing the Evas but after spending half the day in confinement there was no way that she would be able to focus on that now. No one would blame her if she took the rest of the day off.

After gathering her things she left her office and locked it behind her. As she walked down the hallway she checked her cell phone to see if there were any new voice mails. There weren't any. Her frown deepened. Hopefully she'd hear from him soon and he'd let her know that he was alright, that he was getting far away from NERV and that one day she might see him again...

Deep down though, she knew that wasn't the call she was likely to get, if she were to get one at all...

---

Section Two had informed Gendo via phone a little while ago that Fuyutsuki had been recovered unharmed. This was pleasing, it meant that so far things were going just as planned... The next step was to wait for Section Two to locate Kaji and report to him. Once that came to fruition he could execute the next step of his plan...

The door to his office opened with a click that echoed across the vast room. He watched as Fuyutsuki stepped into the office and begin walking slowly up to his desk seemingly no worse for wear. "How was your meeting with the old men?" Gendo asked once he'd drawn close enough that raise his voice was necessary, allowing himself the faintest of teasing smirks.

"Only slightly more painful than usual," Fuyutsuki replied with a soft grin of his own. "You seem to be in a good mood. Might I ask why?"

Gendo clasped his hands in front of his face, leaning his elbows on his desk. "This situation has presented us with a golden opportunity, sensei..." he returned. "It is almost as if an act of providence has visited us this day."

Fuyutsuki's eyebrows twitched. "You are planning something..." he replied, his voice hushed and low.

"I am," Gendo returned.

There was a pause that hung in the room, with Fuyutsuki looking down at him with a suspicious expression. "And after all I've experienced today you're not going to tell me what?" he eventually replied.

Before he could respond, the phone in the drawer of his desk began to ring. He wasted no time in answering it. "Ikari speaking," he stated.

It was one of the heads of the intelligence department. "Sir, we have reason to believe that Ryouji Kaji is still within the geofront," the man on the other line responded.

Gendo put the phone of speaker mode and regarded Fuyutsuki with a smirk. "This is good news," he replied. "Any word on possible accomplices?"

"No sir," the man stated. "It appears he acted alone as far as we can tell."

"Very good," Gendo returned. "Send me any information you have as to his whereabouts."

"Shall we send a crew to eliminate him, sir?" the man asked.

"That won't be necessary," Gendo replied darkly. "I will deal with the situation personally..."

There was a moment of silence before the man on the other end of the phone replied. "Yes, Commander..." the man returned, sounding just a bit unnerved by his statement.

The agent's response was a good sign. The fact that even men like those in Section Two feared him was a testament to how well he kept order at NERV. It meant that suspicion would not arise. Gendo hung up the phone without another word, his grin widening as he looked up at his confidant and partner. "I hope that makes my plan clear," he stated quietly.

A look of understanding washed over Fuyutsuki's face. "Ah... I see..." he replied, a small grin taking shape on his lips.

"Indeed, sensei..." Gendo returned with a nod. "The pieces are once again falling into place..."

---

Misato had just returned home and was greeted with a silent apartment. Neither Asuka or Shinji responded when she announced herself upon getting home. It was fitting for the kind of day that she'd been having, lonely and isolated, wrapped up in all sorts of dark and depressing thoughts. So... filled with all sorts of dread, she made her way to the kitchen, grabbed herself a beer and sat down at the table.

She took a sip and set the can on the wooden table's surface before clasping her hands in front of her face and closing her eyes. Silently she began to pray, hoping that at any moment she'd receive that call from Kaji letting her know he was safe... but when she opened her eyes that was when she noticed the phone on the table. The message light on the base was blinking and it made her blood run cold.

There was no other option, the message had to have been left by him. Her breath hitched and she leaned forward to eye it at a closer distance. She almost didn't want to press the button and hear the message, knowing that once she did it would be final. Those would with all likelihood be the last words she'd ever hear him speak. The finality of that made her hesitate. She didn't want whatever those words were to be final. She didn't want it to be the end... but she couldn't help but be curious even so. Slowly, with a trembling hand, she reached out and pressed the button. The machine beeped loudly and half a second later Kaji's voice began to emanate from the speaker on the phone's base...

"Katsuragi... it's me..."

Her lip quivered Of course it was, who else would have called her home instead of her cell today?

"I'm sure you're listening to this message, especially after I caused you all so much trouble... Sorry... please tell Ritsu I'm sorry too..."

Her lips curved down into a frown. He sounded so resigned, like he knew what he'd gotten himself into and had accepted his fate... it hurt...

"And there's one more thing to trouble you with... I've been growing a certain flower... I'd appreciate if you could water it for me. Shinji knows where it is."

She closed her eyes for a moment, gritting her teeth to force down the tears. Of course he would ask her to tend to trivial things like this in a final message. That was just the kind of man he was...

"Katsuragi, the truth is with you... don't hesitate. Move ahead."

A lump was forming in her throat. Even as the tears began to well up and cloud her vision she couldn't help but smile at those encouraging words. She'd get to work looking through the drive he'd given her first thing in the morning and carry on his work.

"If I could see you again, I will say... the words that I could not say eight years ago... bye..."

Hot tears began to fall, dripping onto the table as the reality set it with those last words. There was no way around it now, he'd known he was going to die when he did what he did. He was dead now. He was dead, and this was the last time she'd ever hear his voice. It was over and with so much having gone unsaid between the two of them. She couldn't handle it. Misato collapsed forward with a shudder, falling to her knees, sobbing into her forearms uncontrollably. "You fool..." she choked out. "You were always such a fool..."

---

Shinji was sitting in his room listening to his tape player at a low volume when a jostling sound caught his attention over the sound of the music, causing him to take an earphone out to listen and discern what was going on. It sounded like... someone was crying out in the kitchen. Had Misato gotten home and he hadn't noticed? He took his other earphone out and shut off his music, setting the player on his bed before leaving his room to investigate. He went to the kitchen and froze in the entryway. Misato was kneeling on the floor, braced against the table, weeping uncontrollably.

He bit the inside of his lip. He wanted to reach out and offer her some comfort but he didn't know how. It was strange seeing someone who was always so put together breaking down like that. A large part of him wanted to simply run away and sequester himself in his room, to avoid seeing her like this but... he just couldn't. She needed someone to be there for her, and besides, if he were seeing Rei in this state he sure as hell wouldn't just leave her alone... so slowly he stepped forward into the kitchen. "M- Misato-san?" he stammered.

It seemed like she didn't even hear him. "Dammit Ryouji..." she whimpered as sobs wracked her body. "You fucking idiot..."

His eyes widened. Had something happened to Kaji? Something must have if she was this upset... Shinji moved across the room and rested his hand on Misato's shoulder after a moment of hesitation but he couldn't think of anything else he could do. "Are you alright, Misato-san?" he asked even though it was obvious she was very far from alright...

She didn't even look at him, only digging her fingers into the sleeves of her jacket and pulling further into herself. "He's g- gone..." she sobbed. "He's d- he's dea- he's..."

He flinched, understanding immediately what she meant even if she couldn't say it. "H- how?" he asked, kneeling down beside his guardian, unsure how to handle the shock of this news. Kaji was someone he'd gotten along with, someone he'd always appreciated the wisdom of, and he knew Misato cared much for him even if he didn't understand their relationship at all. To think he was... dead... hurt a lot.

Misato said nothing and leaned into him, her sobbing intensifying. Shinji breathed a heavy sigh and let her rest against him, trying his best to retain his composure. He had to be strong for the people he cared about and resist the urge to run away, even if they pushed him away like Asuka was doing. Misato needed support and so he would try to give it, even if it wasn't enough, even if all he could do was put his hand on her shoulder...

---

It was late at night and Kaji stood alone in one of the ventilation rooms near the surface of the geofront. He'd been waiting there a while now having sought refuge there after returning the vice commander to NERV as surely his flat would be being monitored in case he came back to it. It didn't matter, he'd given his files to Misato and his handlers in the PSIA before destroying the originals. If his apartment were to be ransacked by NERV they'd find nothing. However, they would eventually find him and that would be it...

In all honesty he was surprised no one had shown up to kill him yet, but it had allowed him to think a bit on his situation, where he'd been and what had led him to this moment. He'd sought to get to the center of NERV and SEELE but his efforts had been in vain. However... along the way he'd been able to get a better understanding of himself and find a little bit of joy in the little moments. Those were really the times that mattered anyway, those small moments of living rather than some grand goal. Perhaps he should have spent more time with Misato or tending to his watermelons. Perhaps he should have been a bit more honest with the people around him. Perhaps he should have been a bit more honest with himself during his life. Finding those fleeting moments of happiness and finding meaning in the simple act of living... that's what his brother and friends would have wanted for him, not the paths he'd chosen.

Still, he accepted his situation. He'd tried to do something he considered noble and it had gotten him where he was. To try and run from the inevitable was futile. When death approaches and one has no way out it's best not to try and run or try to fight. Acceptance was the only honorable thing to do. It was perhaps one of the most honorable things he'd done during his time as a spy. If the business of espionage is dishonorable could a spy's death be honorable? He couldn't help but smirk. Here he was pondering the absurdities of life up until the very end. How fitting...

The sound of footsteps in the dark began to reach his ears and he stared into the long black hallway that stretched before him. It looked like a void, a void he'd soon be entering permanently. He didn't flinch as he noted a silhouette amid the shadows, blacker than the void around it. This person drew closer and closer until they stood just at the edge of where the artificial moonlight would have revealed them. Kaji didn't run or flinch and simply smiled at this messenger sent to bring his death. "Hey there," he greeted calmly. "You're a little late."

Bang!

Despite his resignation to his fate, the sound and flash of the gunshot made him flinch. However, immediately afterward confusion began to set in as he realized that he hadn't been struck by the bullet. What was this mystery assailant doing? Was he toying with him in his last moments, hoping he would flee so he could cut him down like a dog? "I do believe you've missed..." he replied darkly.

"Perhaps that was my intent..." a low baritone returned from the shadows. Kaji recognized the voice and watched in shock as the commander of NERV himself stepped out of the darkness and into the pale artificial moonlight, pistol in hand and a stoic expression on his face. "Good evening, Agent Kaji..."

So theatrical, like he always was. Kaji couldn't help but smirk. "I see... so you've come yourself," he replied. "Did I make this a personal issue for you?"

Commander Ikari did not react in the slightest to his barbed remark, instead lowering his pistol to his side. "Perhaps you can still be useful to me even now..." he replied ominously.

Kaji's eyebrows arched at that statement. What did he mean? Was there a chance he might be able to get out of this situation alive? "Care to explain, sir?" he inquired quietly. That was when he noticed the small zippered bag in the commander's hand, his eyes drifting down to it... what was Ikari planning?

Commander Ikari set the bag down on the concrete floor and slid it across the floor to him. "Open it," he ordered, gesturing to the bag using his pistol to do so.

Kaji kept his eyes on the commander as he knelt down to open the bag. He unzipped it and upon seeing the contents his eyes widened. Inside was a plastic bag of some kind, a thick manila folder, and a micro cassette tape. "What's the meaning of this?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"You sought the truth, did you not?" Commander Ikari returned. "It's there. All of it..."

He was beyond confused. "Why?" Kaji asked, standing up straight. "What do you want from me?"

Commander Ikari closed his eyes for a moment, drew a deep breath, and let it out before regarding him once again with that icy glare of his. "I seek to overturn the schemes of the old men at SEELE," he replied evenly. "And I believe that you are the perfect instrument for that end."

"And how did I suddenly become said critical instrument rather than a hanging thread waiting to be snipped?" Kaji inquired nervously. It looked like he was being given an out that didn't involve his death but how could he trust Ikari?

"Because you presented the oportunity to be such," the commander responded, his tone of voice becoming icy cold. "As of this moment, for all intents and purposes, you are dead..."

"I see," Kaji replied with a nod, beginning to piece the reasoning for the commander's theater together. "Is that why you fired the gun?"

"Yes," Ikari returned. "It would be beneficial that if anyone was in earshot they assume that the deed was done."

Kaji nodded again. "Very well..." he replied. "So what do you now require of me?"

Ikari wasted no time in explaining. "Those documents contain the the details behind what and who caused Second Impact, the origins of the Evas and NERV, and SEELE's endgame," he stated. "I want you to deliver them to the Japanese government once all of the Angels have been defeated."

Kaji let those words process for a moment before responding. He used every ounce of his willpower not to grin ear to ear, the truth was finally within his grasp! Then again... the fact that he was being told to wait to move forward with this was puzzling. There had to be some kind of unpleasant reasoning for this stipulation. "Very well..." he replied calmly. "May I ask why I shouldn't move forward until that time?"

"Read the files and listen to the tape," Ikari returned. "You will understand once you do. At this point however, we're running out of time. The cleaning crew should be here in a matter of minutes."

Kaji's eyebrow arched in concern. "Cleaning crew?" he inquired.

Ikari nodded. "Indeed," he returned. "Now get in the body-bag."

Kaji flinched. "E- excuse me?" he stammered.

Ikari's eyes narrowed. "The body-bag beside the files in the satchel by your feet," he replied. "Get inside. You'll be transported to a morgue on the outskirts of the city. Figure out your escape from there."

Kaji's lips fell into a frown. So that was what the remaining item in the bag was. He knelt down and pulled the macabre piece of kit out, laid it on the ground, unzipped it, and began to stuff himself inside after tucking the files and tape inside his jacket. Commander Ikari stepped over to him and began to zip the thing up but before he could finish Kaji couldn't help but get another word in. "Why are you doing this?" he asked. Admittedly it was an impulsive question but he felt compelled to ask it. He needed to understand his reasoning, for his health he supposed...

The commander paused, a far away look filling his eyes. "I have my reasons..." he muttered softly.

Clearly he did not want to elaborate on why he was betraying SEELE but he supposed everyone is entitled to secrets. Besides, he wasn't in a position to press the matter. "Understood..." he returned.

Commander Ikari nodded. "Good luck, Agent Kaji..." he replied coolly before zipping the bag the rest of the way.

Kaji lay there on the ground inside the body bag, in complete darkness, listening to the sound of the commander's footsteps drifting away, pondering his stroke of luck. If he played his cards right he might actually be able to survive as long as he laid low. At present he was officially dead or so Ikari said, so laying low would be at least at little easier than it would be otherwise.

One thing was certain though, as soon as he got out of the morgue, the next step would be getting in touch with Fujita as soon as possible...

---

Author's notes

I am terribly sorry that this one took so long to produce, but t'is the season for life to get in the way with such things though, please forgive me...

This chapter has been one that I've been very excited to get to since I began the story. As soon as I decided that I wanted to take Gendo's character in the direction I have, I devised the scene at this chapter's end. To finally have put it on the page is exhillerating. It is also evidence of the slow and subtle cause and effect that has been taking place since Rei pointed out that Gendo should be attempting to get closer to his son. At the same time, the fact that Rei herself is losing hope due to the changes she's caused remaining mostly with people rather than the world, and predominently outside of her knowledge... talk about irony, right?

Oh, and Kaworu and Asuka's growing friendship is so much fun to write. When I decided to take their arcs in the way I did, I was actually surprised by how well the two play off each other. Unfortunatly no Kaworu POV this chapter but there will be more very soon. Karl is certainly experiencing some growth...

I do apologize that our favorite blue haired protagonist doens't have much of a role in this one, but due to the subjects covered, the supporting cast had to be ones to shine. Also, this installent marks the first POV scene of Fuyutsuki. I hope that I did him justice. I sincerely hope that this chapter sheds light on the direction this story is heading towards and what the ultimate endgame will be. The end is nigh and getting closer... you've been warned.

In other news... my life situation has rapidly changed over the past some weeks. I've started a new job with better pay but I leave so drained it's hard to get enough time to actually work on this. Also, last week I actually recieved my first death wish over this story. That I can't help but find a bit of humor in. To think that one could be so incensed over a fanfic... Perhaps on the bright side though, it does tell me that I'm on the right track. Anno-san himself recieved much hateful speech for the masterpiece upon which this story is based after all.

As always, thank you all for supporting me and reviews are much appreciated.

Regards,

A.F.