Chapter 47 – Evacuation To Regression

It was evening and the cleanup on the surface of the city was wrapping up. All three Evangelion were back in the cages and the pilots sent to the medical wing for evaluation. Gendo stood in his office with Fuyutuski at his side, looking out over the geofront, letting the events of the day sink in...

The committee was certainly going to be furious with him. The fact he'd released Unit 01 and lost the lance at the same time would be seen as a massive affront to their authority, one that he'd be lucky if he could talk himself out of. Then again, talking himself out of sticky situations was one of his greatest skills, but he still felt apprehensive. He was running out of options quickly and he knew it. Humanity's time was well and truly running out...

"The events of today were certainly troubling," Fuyutsuki stated quietly.

It was a very simple sentence but it cut to the heart of the matter. "Yes..." Gendo responded, bowing his head slightly.

"Are your son and Rei alright?" the old professor inquired.

Gendo's frown deepened. From the few moments he'd seen her on the surface after the battle he could see how badly Rei had been effected by the Angel's mental attack. With Soryu's collapsing scores, it was likely that soon Shinji would be the only combat effective pilot at his disposal. Once the Angels were defeated and SEELE carried out their plan... only having his son to stand in defense of NERV would certainly be long odds in that coming fight. In addition to this, it was obvious that there was a distrust growing within his son, one that was completely understandable but concerning all the same. "I believe they will be in time, yes," he replied.

"Time is not something we have much of," Fuyutsuki reminded. "Especially after using the lance..."

"Indeed..." Gendo growled. This conversation was becoming less of a discussion on present matters and more of a regurgitation of redundant information. It was rather displeasing. "Our situation is becoming quite problematic..."

There was a pause before Fuyutsuki spoke again. "Do you think that the Second Child will reverse her trajectory regarding her synchronization scores?" he asked.

Gendo shook his head. Considering the level of pride the girl put on herself, judging by her personnel files, this battle would have lasting effects on her. This would only serve to compound the downward trajectory she'd been on after the last few engagements. He doubted that she would soon recover, if ever. "No," he returned flatly.

"Would you consider replacing her as a pilot then?" Fuyutsuki inquired.

It was a thought that had crossed his mind as the Second Child's scores continued to plummet. The main reservation he had with such an action was that Unit 02's core would not be easy to calibrate for a new pilot, which would take it out of service completely. A semi functional Eva was better than a nonfunctional one at the end of the day... "No," he replied. "Not yet..."

"So what will you do?" Fuyutsuki inquired, his voice taking on a hint of nervousness. "With the loss of the lance we cannot simply stay the course any longer. We must do something to help even the odds..."

Gendo breathed a quiet sigh. The old professor was right... "I will speak with Agent Kaji later today and see if he can accelerate his efforts," he stated. "Other than that, we have no options available at the moment."

There was another pause before Fuyutsuki spoke again. "It is unfortunate, but I believe you are correct in that assumption," he replied. "We are steadily being boxed in by the circumstances we've endured..."

"Yes..." Gendo returned. There was nothing else that needed to be said.

"I suppose I'll leave you to contact him then," Fuyutsuki stated, turning on his heel. He took a few steps and then stopped. "Will you visit Rei before she's discharged?"

Gendo reached up and pinched his chin between his fingers. She most likely would appreciate a gesture of concern beyond their brief meeting on the surface. It did seem like the correct thing to do... but contacting Kaji was his top priority at the moment. Once he'd done that he could go see Rei. "I'll give it some thought," he replied.

Fuyutsuki chuckled. "I hope you do," he returned before striding out of the room.

Gendo waited until he heard the door to his office open and shut before walking over to his desk and sitting down. As soon as he did he opened his drawer and retrieved the secure phone he kept there. Hopefully Kaji still had his cell phone on him... otherwise things could get difficult.

Oh well, at least he had a list of the man's known associates at NERV should that fail. He'd done quite a bit of digging and pulled quite a few strings to cover up for him ever since he'd sent him on his way after all...

Kaji sat on the bed of a seedy motel room that he and Fujita were occupying within the vicinity of Tokyo 3 in the city of Atami. After copying the files Commander Ikari had given them they'd made their way here, checking in the middle of previous night. It was a good place to lay low, especially considering how run down and inconspicuous this particular neighborhood in Atami was. No one would suspect that a pair of government agents were seeking to upend the plots of a shadowy secret organization in a place like this. Fujita had just gotten off the phone with Shikishima, discussing the location of their meeting from what he'd discerned from the one side of the conversation he'd heard. He agreed that the location Fujita had picked would suit their needs of anonymity but he couldn't help but find a bit of humor in it... "You really have a penchant for dive bars, don't you?" he quipped as soon as Fujita finished his brief.

Fujita put his hands up in a sheepish fashion and grinned a lopsided grin. "What can I say?" he responded. "It's a setting I'm intimately familiar with due to life experience. I wasn't always a government spook you know..."

Kaji nodded, thinking back to his life before becoming an agent of the Japanese government... Come to think of it, he really didn't know that much about Fujita, even after being in such close partnership with him for a while now. In the intelligence business allowing someone knowledge of your personal life was a liability, but he couldn't help but wonder about the man. Part of him was curious as to what could have formed him into such a cavalier individual. If he had to share a bit of his honest past then so be it. That awful curiosity of his needed to be scratched. "Neither was I," he replied with a smirk. "Tell me... what life did you lead that made you so familiar with dives and bosozoku hangouts?"

Fujita snickered. "Asking about my personal life now are we? What? Are you trying to seduce me, Kaji-kun?" he teased with a smirk.

Kaji rolled his eyes. "Hardly," he replied.

Fujita laughed. "Very poor choice of words..." he drawled.

Kaji glared at him. He really did know how to rile him up. To think that someone could actually use the kind of lines he'd perhaps once been known for against him... "I'm simply curious as to what could have formed you into the kind of person you are, what preceded the persona you convey presently," he replied. "Nothing more, and certainly nothing like what you imply..."

Fujita sighed and folded his arms, turning away from him. "There was perhaps a time in the wake of Second Impact where I was living a bit of a rebellious life..." he replied. "I fell in with some roving bandit types and spent a few years just trying to survive. I'm sure you know how hard it was to keep living in those first few years post Impact..."

Kaji nodded, remembering how his brother and friends had skulked amid the ruins, stealing food, eating rats... "I remember it well," he replied, the memory of seeing his friends and brother laying dead in pools of blood filling his mind's eye. "I lost... I lost pretty much everything in those days..."

"I think most of us did..." Fujita muttered. "But we have the chance to avenge them now, right?"

Kaji nodded. "Indeed we do..." he replied. It really was going to feel good if they succeeded. He'd finally have justice for his brother and friends...

Before either of them could say another word, Kaji's cell phone began to ring. He looked at the screen and didn't recognize the number. Hopefully it wasn't Asuka trying to circumvent the safeguards he'd installed on the device...

"You should really get rid of that thing," Fujita chastised. "If the assholes we're trying to dodge trace you then we're cooked..."

Kaji knew that was well and true but... he just couldn't bring himself to part with it. If he were to succeed in the gambit he was currently undertaking the first thing he planned on doing was calling Misato and letting her know he was alright... "I know..." he replied. He let the phone ring until the call bounced and slid it back in his pocket. It probably wasn't important anyway...

And then Fujita's cell began to ring...

Both men looked at one another with a puzzled, nervous expression. Fujita pulled his mobile from his pocket, flipped it open and put it to his ear. "Fujita speaking," he stated. "Who is this?"

Kaji watched as Fujita's eyes went wide and his face drained of all color, his mouth falling open. After a second he held out the phone to him. "I- it- it's for you..." he stammered.

Kaji was well and truly unnerved. Who on earth could possibly be calling for him from Fujita's phone, and for that matter, who even could possibly know that the two of them even knew one another. He extended his hand and took the device, placing it to his ear. "Hello?" he spoke softly.

"I see that you're well, and in touch with a contact of yours no less," came the voice of Commander Ikari over the line.

He nearly jumped upon hearing his voice. How did he managed to get Fujita's contact? Then again, he was the commander of the most expansive and well funded paramilitary organization in the world... "It's good to hear from you sir," he replied after drawing a deep breath to compose himself. "What can I do for you?"

"Recent events here necessitate moving the intervention I instructed you with forward," Commander Ikari stated. "The arrival and destruction of the Fifteenth Angel earlier today required drastic measures that will no doubt infuriate the committee. Your mission can no longer wait until the defeat of the final enemy. Is this something you can accomplish?"

He couldn't simply tell him that he was already making moves to do such things... "I think that can be accomplished, yes," he replied.

"See to it that it's done," the commander responded, his tone of voice stressing the urgency of the situation. "You have no time to waste."

Something about the way he said peaked that terrible curiosity of his. "How much time do you think we have, sir?" he inquired.

There was a short pause before Commander Ikari spoke again. "Depending on when the next two Angels arrive, I would estimate around three weeks," he replied. "Perhaps less..."

Those words made his stomach turn over. "That is quite unsettling..." Kaji uttered in response.

"Yes," Commander Ikari responded evenly. "I understand that will make things difficult. I do believe that with the information I have provided that you may still succeed."

Kaji frowned. "The time frame certainly makes things difficult..." he grumbled.

"That it does. Take care, Agent Kaji..." Commander Ikari replied. With those final words the connection went dead.

Half a second later, Fujita spoke up, sounding and looking completely aghast. "Okay, how in the sweet fuck did that man manage to get my cell number?" he uttered in shock.

Kaji shrugged. "I suppose he did some digging into my connections while at NERV," he replied. "The man is the head of one of the most expansive and well connected military organizations on earth..."

Fujita swiped back his phone and ripped the battery and sim card out of it. "Well, if anyone unfriendly traced that call then we're dead men," he hissed. "Do the same as me and don't put them back in unless it's absolutely necessary."

Though Fujita was overreacting it did make sense and he did as he was instructed. "I'm sure that Commander Ikari would only attempt to reach me over a secure line," he replied. "But I'll play along."

Fujita ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "What did he want, if I may ask?" he inquired. "What is so important that he'd risk exposing us just to talk to us?"

Kaji frowned and looked down at his feet. "He wished to inform us that our time frame to make a difference is shortening immensely," he replied. "We're already running up against the clock..."

"How much time to we have then?" Fujita pressed. "What makes him think we're running up against the clock as you say?"

"Apparently there was an Angel attack earlier today," Kaji replied. "Apparently something regarding that will cause SEELE to accelerate their plans."

Fujita nodded. "Okay, so how long do we have?" he asked.

Kaji looked up and met his gaze. "Three weeks, if that..." he replied.

Fujita's eyes nearly popped out of his skull. "Three weeks!" he exclaimed. Kaji watched as the other spy put his hand on his forehead and begin to stare off into space. "That is a problem..." he continued quietly. "I suppose the contingency we talked about on the ride over here might be needed..."

Kaji nodded. "Unfortunately, yes, it's certainly looking that way," he replied. "That is, if the connection with Shikishima comes to nothing..."

Rei had well and truly grown to despise just how cold and barren the hospital rooms within NERV's medical ward were. The pale white walls, floors, and ceilings felt so very cold, certainly not conducive to healing or comfort while convalescing. She wanted to leave as soon as possible but her apartment was just as cold and miserable, worse even. Perhaps the reason she was focusing so much on the room was to distract herself from the memory of the visions and words she'd suffered under the Angel's assault earlier in the day...

After Shinji and Commander Ikari had left her on the surface Ritsuko had arrived shortly thereafter and spirited her away down to this room in the geofront where she'd been sequestered for several hours, or at least for what felt like hours. During that time she'd been examined by numerous medical staff, been subjected to a cranial nerve exam, and been subjected to some kind of electrode monitoring of her brainwaves. She was well and truly ready for it to end. It made her feel so inhuman, like she was nothing more than something to be analyzed and controlled, like what she had been in another life long ago. She couldn't help but perk up when Ritsuko finally returned. "Am I free to go?" she immediately asked.

Ritsuko stepped over to her and sat next to her on the hospital bed. "Yes," she replied, reaching over to grasp her hand in a comforting gesture. "You're being discharged."

Rei breathed a sigh of relief and squeezed her friend's hand. "That is a great relief..." she murmured. "I was getting restless..."

"After what you went through out there I can understand," Ritsuko returned warmly. "Whatever you went through out there must have been terrible..."

Rei shuddered, thinking back on those images, remembering the sight of Adam fused with her hand... "It was... I can understand why Asuka broke after experiencing it..." she replied, barely above a whisper.

Immediately after saying that her eyes went wide and her breath caught in her throat. Immediately her thoughts shifted to her redheaded friend. The fact that she'd failed to prevent Asuka from enduring the mental torment she'd experienced in the other world in this one filled her with shame and guilt. She hadn't seen her yet and wanted to know, no.. she needed to know how she was. Even though she realistically knew already, she needed to confirm it, if only to hold on to that vain hope she might be okay for just a little longer. "How is Asuka?" she asked, looking at Ritsuko with a desperate expression. "Is she alright?"

Ritsuko's brow furrowed and her lips fell into a frown. "She's still undergoing tests for contamination..." she replied quietly. "When I saw her last she was quite despondent. Her mind took a lot of strain out there..."

Rei mirrored her expression and looked down at her knees. "You mean her heart..." she murmured quietly.

Ritsuko offered her a sympathetic smile and squeezed her hand. "That as well..." she replied. "I'm sorry, Rei. I'm sorry you couldn't help her..."

Rei felt her eyes beginning to sting and she couldn't keep her body from quivering. "I feel so ashamed..." she whimpered as her vision started getting blurry. "I should have been able to help her..."

Ritsuko put her hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Rei," he stated, trying to reassure her. "There was nothing you could have done."

Rei bit her lip. "I know..." she murmured, unable to keep the tears from falling. "All I've ever done is make things worse for everyone..."

Ritsuko's reassuring look fell away, replaced with an angry glare. "Stop it!" she hissed before her tone returned to one of comforting warmth. "That isn't true! You did your best and that's what matters, Rei. Everyone is better off for knowing you. I'm better off for knowing you..."

Rei couldn't help but smile in spite of her tears. "I don't understand why you feel that way..." she murmured, wiping her eyes. "But it is a comforting sentiment..."

"Well it's the truth," Ritsuko replied with a smile of her own.

Rei nodded. It certainly was nice to think about, but she couldn't rid herself of the doubt in her heart. "I hope you're right..." she whispered in response.

It was then that Rei heard footsteps coming from the hallway, heavy plodding footsteps. She recognized the sound and instantly pulled her hand away from Ritsuko's. Even without seeing him she could tell that it was Commander Ikari just from the sound and soon enough he appeared in the doorway. He paused there, looking between Ritsuko and herself, a somewhat perplexed expression taking shape on his face. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked gruffly.

Ritsuko stood up from the bed. "Not at all," she replied. "I was simply informing Rei that she was discharged."

"I see," Commander Ikari replied. "Might I have a moment with her?"

Rei looked over at Ritsuko, watching her nod her head even as her expression showed just the smallest hint of reluctance. "I don't see why not," Ritsuko replied. "She is your ward."

"She is," Commander Ikari returned. "Please, leave us for a moment if you will."

Ritsuko nodded again. "Yes sir..." she replied.

Rei watched as the faux blonde made her way to the doorway, disappearing around the corner. Once she did, Commander Ikari took a few steps closer to her. "How do you feel?" he asked, his tone conveying genuine concern.

"Well enough..." she replied, trying not to sound too guarded. It was strange... he'd visited her hours ago on the surface. Why was he visiting her now?

His lips curved downward ever so slightly and he stepped over to her, sitting down on the bed beside her where Ritsuko had been sitting moments ago. "You're eyes say otherwise..." he replied, his eyes boring holes into hers. It was so strange seeing his eyes, not having them partially obscured by those sunglasses he used to wear. "I... can see you've been crying."

Rei flinched and looked down at her knees, gripping the hem of her hospital gown tightly in her fingers. If she'd ever shown that kind of weakness, that level of emotion to him even months ago she'd surely have been replaced. Even though she knew he'd changed she couldn't help but feel fearful. Even now she didn't want to show that humanity, that weakness, to him. "Wh- why do you assume that, sir?" she shakily replied.

"You're eyes give it away..." he stated softly. "The whites of them are rather red..."

Rei bit her lip. She couldn't fight the tide of emotions swirling within her chest as her eyes began to sting once more. "So what if I have been?" she responded barely above a whisper, mustering the courage to talk back to him. "Is that a problem, sir?"

He placed his hand upon her knee. "I suppose it's natural," he replied. "Despite your circumstance, you do have feelings like the rest of us. I'm... sorry I tried to repress those things in you for so long."

Rei flinched and snapped her head around to face him, her mouth falling open. "A- are you?" she stammered in disbelief.

He nodded. "I am..." he replied, a deep frown taking shape on his face. "Many of my actions toward you have been regrettable, but I hope you understand that I care for your well being regardless."

Rei regarded him with a slack jawed expression. Truly this was a shocking development. "I am... grateful for your words..." she replied after a moment, looking back down at her knees, at the hand that rested upon one of them. It was nice to hear him apologize for something but it also felt wrong. Why would he say something like this to her and not to Shinji? "But you should extend this sort of apology to your son..."

Commander Ikari let go of her leg and nodded. "This is true..." he replied, his lip twitching upward. "Perhaps I will when we play another game of shogi together. Has he told you about those games?"

Rei nodded. It was so strange, him talking to her like a normal person, but she found she somewhat liked it. Could this perhaps be the Commander Ikari that Yui-sama knew? It didn't matter, she decided. Whether it was a return to his past demeanor or growth into a new one had no bearing on the fact that he was well and truly becoming a different person than the one who had wanted to use her to end the world. The Angel's visions had been nothing but scenes meant to torment her... "He has," she replied.

"Not surprising," Commander Ikari continued. "I know the two of you have grown to be close."

Rei nodded, hoping he didn't have any concept of what her real feelings for his son were. He would no doubt find them incredibly distasteful... "Indeed, we are close friends..." she replied softly, looking away from him.

Commander Ikari stood up and straightened his jacket. "Well, I must be going," he stated evenly. "I'm glad that you are alright and will recover from your ordeal."

Rei nodded. "Thank you, sir..." she replied softly. If he was being so honest then she couldn't help but allow herself to be in turn. It was so strange... she actually felt somewhat comfortable opening up on her fears to him. "I will recover... but the pain will stay with me..."

He bowed his head. Even though he was facing the same direction she was she could see the frown taking shape on his lips and the far away look gleaming in his eyes. "It always does..." he murmured softly. "Life is about learning to live with it..."

Rei was truly struck by the level of candor and vulnerability he was displaying. It made her actually think that perhaps given time she might be able to forgive him for the life he'd give her... "I'll... take that into consideration..." she returned softly.

"Alright then, I'll take my leave," he replied. "Take care, Rei..."

"Take care, sir..." she returned softly.

With that he exited the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts...

Ritsuko had been listening to the conversation between Rei and Gendo from a few meters out of sight down the hall. Months ago she would never have stuck around but considering how much she'd grown to care for the azure haired girl in recent days she couldn't help herself. She needed to know that Rei was alright and that Gendo wasn't upsetting her. She also wanted to listen in on him and gauge for herself just how much his character had shifted in recent weeks. Her worry for Rei compelled her to eavesdrop.

What she found herself listening in on made it nearly impossible to contain a smile...

It was so very striking hearing Gendo speak with such compassion and openness with someone. She couldn't deny it anymore, he had undergone some manner of change for the better. Hearing him trying to reassure Rei and comment on her friendship with Shinji humanized him so much. It made her heart race. She'd admired him for his stoic poise and his prowess at NERV, grown to love him for those things... and this made those feelings burn even hotter. This human side of him was so thrilling to observe, or overhear. Seeing him be so human made her desire him so much more. Maybe it was possible to have him, to be with him, to know him fully. Maybe if she played her cards right and was open and honest with him the way he was attempting to be with Rei there could be something there. It was certainly a nice thing to think about.

And then he appeared in the doorway in the midst of her fantasizing...

She flinched and tried to play it off like she'd been walking back to the room having not heard anything but the look he gave her showed he knew that she'd been listening in. "How long have you been waiting there?" he inquired, his eyes boring into hers, a deep frown on his lips.

"N- not long," she stammered, lying to him out of pure instinct. "I was just coming back."

He sighed. "I suppose it doesn't matter," he replied, his eyes drifting downward towards the tile floor and stuffing his hands in his pockets. He stepped past her, only speaking again once he'd passed her by. "She's been through a lot. See to it that she's monitored for any lasting psychological damage."

She watched him pass and turned around so she could observe him, unable to keep herself from calling out to him. "Ge- Commander Ikari..." she murmured, barely able to restrain herself from speaking to him using his given name, the name she referred to him in her mind.

He paused and looked at her over his shoulder. "Yes?" he asked calmly.

"It's very kind of you to visit her," she stated softly, offering him a small smile. "I'm sure she appreciates knowing you care."

Gendo's lips curved upward ever so slightly before he turned his head away and resumed his walk. "Take care, Dr. Akagi..." was all he responded with. Even so, it seemed like there was just a hint of warmth and appreciation in his tone. She could very well have imagined it but she wanted to believe...

Shinji waited in the corridor of the hospital wing waiting for Rei and Asuka to be discharged. Misato had hung around with him for a bit eventually to support him but she left a little while ago, citing that she still had things to tend to on the bridge regarding the cleanup operations. She said that she'd be back to take him and Asuka home in a little while but knowing Misato he expected a call on his cell phone telling him she'd be staying late and to go home without her. For the last hour or so he'd been alone, sitting in the hallway on one of the uncomfortable benches there, alone with his thoughts.

In that time alone so much had begun to fester. He couldn't get the the image of the giant in the basement out of his mind. He still couldn't help but suspect that there was so much that was being kept from him, that was always being kept from him during his time at NERV. Why else would no one have told him that the Second Angel was being kept deep down in the depths, that Tokyo 3 had purposefully been built atop it? He wished that he'd had more time talk to his father earlier and that he'd had the guts to keep pressing those matters...

He bowed his head with a heavy sigh and ran his hands through his hair. Maybe he was just overthinking things. His father said that it was all on a need to know basis and he had to admit that had he known before that there was a restrained Angel in the basement it would have made it quite hard to focus on piloting and fighting. Even so... it just didn't sit right with him, but there were more pressing matters, like Asuka and Rei's well being.

The words Asuka had said to him on the surface still stung. It hurt to see his friend so despondent and upset. On top of that, even though she'd tried to be strong he could tell that Rei was hurting just as bad as Asuka. He wanted to understand what the two of them had been through up there but he supposed it wasn't something easily described. No matter what, the most important thing was seeing them recover. That was all that mattered.

He heard footsteps coming from down the hall and turned his head. Seeing who it was, he stood to his feet. Rei was making her way down the hall toward him with an unreadable expression. "Hey," he called out, offering a smile. "How are you feeling?"

She halted her walk a meter or two away from him and cast her gaze down at the linoleum tiles on the floor. "Better than I was," she replied. "But... still not the greatest."

Shinji nodded. "I don't anyone's expecting you to bounce back after half a day," he replied, his smile faltering just a bit.

Rei's gaze remained fixed on the tiles. "I suppose that's true..." she murmured quietly before going on to levy and inquiry. "Have you seen Asuka yet?"

Shinji's smile finally fell away as he remembered the hurtful things she'd said on the surface. "I saw her briefly on the surface..." he replied quietly. "She was quite upset."

Rei's frown intensified. "I can't imagine why she wouldn't be..." she replied almost bitterly.

It was then that Shinji notice a figure plodding down the hallway in their direction coming up behind Rei. From the semi disheveled mane of red hair he could tell immediately who it was... Asuka had finally been released. He cast his eyes down at the tile. It was so hard to find words to greet her and ask if she was alright. The memory of what she'd said to him on the surface was just too much. It ended up being Rei that broke the silence. "Asuka, how are you?" she asked.

Asuka halted her walk a meter away from the two of them. "Feeling like shit, how else would I be?" she huffed.

"I understand..." Rei murmured softly.

"Do you?" Asuka responded, her tone sounding almost accusatory. "What horrible shit did you have dredged up, huh?"

Shinji finally lifted his head up and observed the two of them. At this point Rei was the one who was looking at the floor like he had been and Asuka was glaring at her with a deep frown. It was slight, but he could see Rei's hands trembling. "Everything..." she murmured in response.

Asuka kept glaring at Rei for a moment before letting out a snorting sound and facing away, folding her arms. "Yeah... it really did, didn't it..." she grumbled half under her breath.

He frowned. "I'm sorry I couldn't deploy sooner... maybe it might have made a difference..." he spoke softly. It was all he could think to say in the moment.

"I don't think it would have mattered..." Rei responded.

"Yeah... it wouldn't have changed a damn thing..." Asuka growled.

Silence hung heavy in the air as the seconds ticked by. It made his heart ache to see them both hurting so much. It also was... frustrating to see them seemingly so unwilling to talk with one another about their experience. "You should talk to each other about what happened," he blurted out before he could stop himself. "M- maybe... maybe it'll help..."

Asuka snapped around to face him, her eyes boring holes his head. "Well maybe you're wrong," she hissed before stomping off down the hall, bumping him with her shoulder as she passed. "I'm going to get some water. Don't follow me..."

Shinji watched her go for a moment before bowing his head and breathing a shaky sigh. Great. Now he felt bad for further upsetting her... "Did I really say something wrong?" he asked aloud, more for himself than for Rei to answer.

"No... you didn't..." she replied barely above a whisper. "If anyone is in the wrong it is I... for failing to protect her..."

Shinji's frown deepened and his eyebrows wrinkled up as he observed his closest friend standing there with a conflicted expression. "You tried your best, Rei..." he offered in condolence. "We all did..."

Rei nodded. "And it wasn't enough..." she replied bitterly.

Shinji's stomach churned at those words. He couldn't think of a response for that because deep down he knew she was right...

The car ride home with Misato and Shinji had been difficult to endure. Misato kept asking her about how she was and she'd insisted that she didn't want to talk about it. Shinji just sat there beside her guardian in the front seat saying nothing. After getting back to the apartment they'd eaten dinner together in complete silence, no one saying a thing. Then again, with what had happened earlier in the day what else was there to talk about other than that? Every time someone tried to say something to her she cut them off. She didn't want their pity. She could smell their pity hanging in the air and she hated it. It was suffocating...

Now she sat in her room as the evening turned to dusk, laying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling of her room, listening to the dreadful silence and watching the shadows. She was glad to finally be alone, to not have people prodding at her, hooking machines up to her head, to not have people asking her questions, to finally have a moment to herself. At the same time though... she despised it. After a while it almost seemed like the shadows cast by the blinds and the objects in her room were dancing, whispering, mocking her. It made her angry and upset. It made her fearful about what would come when she surrendered to sleep. The thought of seeing the things she'd seen under the Angel's assault again was terrifying...

It was all becoming too much to bear. She didn't want to sleep and risk seeing those things again. She didn't want to be alone but she also didn't want to be around Misato and Shinji. All they would do was pity her and spare words of encouragement that meant nothing. Misato would tell her that she did her best and that it would be better next time and Shinji would say it was not her fault... but it was her fault and because of that there probably wouldn't be a next time. What use was false reassurance?

She needed to leave. She needed to get out of this stupid room and this stupid apartment... but where would she go? Rei's apartment was beyond decrepit and talking to her would only bring up the unpleasant memories she wanted to run from. She didn't want to talk about what she'd been through with anyone, even someone who'd experienced it, or some version of it, at all. Where did that leave her? Hikari would probably have her over but things had been pretty strained, especially after seeing her with that nerd Aida...

But Kaworu... he would let her stay over without question.

Kaworu never judged her. Kaworu never called her on her shit or confronted her over anything. Even when he'd suggested that she open up to her Unit 02 he'd been doing so out of pure compassion for her situation. He knew no pity and he knew no judgment, that so much she took as fact considering he put up with her shit and never acted offended. Normally she wouldn't be caught dead staying over at a boy's house but Kaworu was different for most boys. Yes... that was where she would go. She sat up and moved off the bed. With that thought in mind she hastily packed a bag with all the essentials that she'd need...

After packing her bag she exited her room, doing her best to close her bedroom door quietly. She wanted to leave unseen but it was all for naught. Shinji was sitting there in the living room watching television. He noticed her instantly and regarded her with that pitiful concerned expression she loathed. "Hey," he said. "What's with the bag?"

Asuka's eyes narrowed. Who was he to be asking where she was going? What right did he have to ask about her business when he'd rejected her, supplanted her, humiliated her? There was no way she'd tell him of all people the truth. She stalked over to the television, gathered up her game console, and shoved it inside her bag before responding. She would need it. Kaworu didn't have anything like that to keep her occupied at his place. "I'm going to Hikari's place," she lied, moving toward the kitchen. "Why do you care?"

He flinched visibly at her words and dipped his head, averting his gaze. "A- are you sure you want to go?" he asked quietly. "I mean... after what happened... we want to help, you know..."

Asuka bristled. "So what!" she hissed, snarling at him by the end. "You can't do anything and you did nothing when I was stuck in there seeing the things I saw! I don't care if you want to help me now! You've never helped me in the past! Nothing you say matters!"

Suffocating silence hung in the air like a brick wall between the two of them. Seconds passed by before Shinji spoke again. "I tried, Asuka..." he murmured softly, still staring down at the floor. "Rei and I both tried..."

Asuka hung her head and bit her lip. She didn't want to fight him. She was tired of fighting. Now was the time to just... run. "And none of it mattered," she huffed. "And I don't want to talk about it... so I'm leaving."

Shinji regarded her with that stupid, horrible, hateful pity in his eyes and nodded. "Alright..." he replied. "Just... take care of yourself, okay?"

She looked away from him and locked her focus on the entryway to the kitchen. "I'll do my best," she returned quietly.

With that, she strode past him and headed for the exit of the apartment...

Rei lay in her bed on her back, listening to the sounds of the city outside her window as the evening turned into night. She couldn't sleep. The images and words she'd experienced earlier in the day when the Angel had... penetrated her mind were keeping her awake...

She stared up at her left hand, remembering the sight of Adam's eye staring back at her. It terrified her. The thought that the the Angel could have seen into her, implanted the temptation in her, or seen that that temptation was already there... horrified her. At the same time though... the Angel's assessment about her fear of rejection was so agonizingly true...

How could she live if she lost all her friends? How could she keep on going if she lost Shinji? How could she keep fighting for a better future for all the people she cared about if they rejected her and hated her for the... freak she was? Thinking about that possibility terrified her... but she had to be honest with Shinji at least. She felt so suffocated by the hole she dug for herself. She'd tried so hard and fought so long for the happiness of everyone she cared for... how could she resolve everything and keep her friends close?

The answer continued to elude her...

She pulled her hand down to her chest and squinted her eyes shut. Sure, Ritsuko had told her that her life had been made better by knowing her but what did that matter if Asuka drifted away from her? What would it matter if Shinji pushed her away? She loved him too much to lose him and yet she had to be honest with him regardless of the repercussions of doing so. The inner turmoil she felt regarding that was overwhelming. It was like she was at war with herself...

And on top of all that there was the fact that Shinji had to grab the lance from Terminal Dogma...

He hadn't mentioned anything about it when she'd seen him but there was no other way that the Angel could have been destroyed. He'd seen Lilith. He'd seen the being that she was created from and was probably shocked and disgusted that NERV would have something like that in the basement. If she was going to be honest with him it would have been better if she were the one to show him that.

She rolled over on her side. "Breathe..." she murmured softly. That was what she needed to do. She needed to calm down and have hope. "Just breathe..."

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. The fear began to recede but it was replaced by the overwhelming sense of guilt she felt. No matter how she looked at it she felt guilty for being unable to prevent Asuka from enduring mental torment, torment that she now had a very good comprehension of, during the battle earlier in the day...

Her eyes began to sting. "I failed her..." she murmured. "I failed my friends..."

What good was her care and compassion for everyone if she couldn't be there for them? Asuka had just about rejected her outright when she'd finally had a chance to see her. That feeling of failure would stick with her forever no matter what she did. She wanted to talk to her about it because she knew that Asuka had probably experienced something just as bad as she had if not worse but Asuka had shut her out. In a way, she understood why she didn't want to communicate the things the Angel had made her see but she also knew it was destructive to do so. If only she could have been quicker. If only she could have thought of a better plan then maybe the battle could have turned out differently.

She closed her eyes and tried to suppress the tears but she simply couldn't. It was simply too much to bear...

Kaworu was quite surprised to hear a knock at his door. He never got visitors unless he was counting the two or so times that Soryu had accompanied him home and stayed for a bit. To top it off, it was long after sundown. However, he couldn't let the door go unanswered. It it was a message from the men at SEELE he'd have to take it and so he swiftly moved to the door but when he opened it he found himself even more surprised. "Soryu-san?" he uttered.

There she was, standing there in his doorway with a small travel bag, looking to the side of the door frame with a mournful expression. "Hey..." she grumbled. "What's up?"

He was truly confused. She seemed well and truly off from the Soryu that he knew. "I was preparing to end the night," he replied. "How are you?"

Her scowl deepened momentarily and she met his gaze for a second before looking away. "How do you think?" she muttered quietly. "I... I had a really bad day..."

Kaworu frowned. He remembered watching the battle off in the distance. So... she must have gotten caught in his sibling's beam once again in this world... "Something to do with the battle earlier?" he asked even though he knew the answer.

Soryu nodded, still refusing to look at him. "Yeah... it didn't go well, and I don't want to stay with Misato and Shinji tonight," she bit out. "So... can I stay with you?"

Kaworu's eyes widened and his whole body stiffened. If the committee were to find out that he was housing one of NERV's pilots then it would probably cause problems. He wasn't supposed to get close to them even though he already had... but he couldn't just turn her away. She was obviously hurting and he wanted to help her... and so he stepped aside and gestured for her to enter. "By all means, Soryu-san," he replied, forcing a smile.

Soryu nodded and stepped inside his apartment. He closed the door behind he and watched as she moved straight to the center of the room beside his bed and began unpacking her things. "Thanks..." she murmured softly.

"You're welcome," he replied, his smile falling away. "But I must ask... what prompted this request from me?"

Soryu stopped unpacking her things and stiffened up. Silence hung in the air for a moment before she spoke. "The battle earlier today didn't go my way..." she murmured softly, her back to him. "I lost again..."

His frown deepened, remembering the sight of the beam coming down from the heavens. "What bearing does that have on you coming here?" he asked softly.

Soryu drew a deep breath and clenched her fists before letting it out, hanging her head. "It doesn't matter..." she murmured softly, her voice starting to sound frail. "I just... don't want to be around Misato and Shinji, okay?"

He found it curious that she would eschew her usual support network for him but he decided he wouldn't press the matter. She was clearly in a very vulnerable place and if staying with him would help her then he wouldn't question it. After all, he'd... grown to care for her greatly. "Alright then..." he replied. "You can have the bed. I'll sleep on the floor."

She turned around to face him, looking a bit surprised before nodding and looking down at her feet. "That's nice of you..." she responded.

He shrugged. "It's the least I can do," he replied.

She grimaced. "Right..." she murmured. "The least you can do..."

Gendo sat in his office, a cassette recorder on his desk before him. Sleep hadn't come easy the previous night, his mind plagued with so many thoughts provoked by his short conversation with Rei in the medical ward. Rei's assertion that he should offer his son an apology for his behaviors over the years had stuck with him and kept him up much of the night. Months ago he would never have entertained such a thought but he supposed he'd changed in that time.

He breathed a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. It was so funny how a few small things could spur such conflict and change in a person. The human condition was such a complex thing...

It seemed like such an easy thing to do, to apologize to Shinji for the treatment he'd given him over the years, but it wasn't at all. How did a father apologize for abandoning his son? Perhaps as important, how would he explain the madness his son had been roped into in a coherent fashion? Those questions were ones he desperately wanted to answer... and it was one that he couldn't answer. It was a question that couldn't be answered easily. His son had once asked him that question and in that moment he'd nearly caused their relationship irreparable damage... It was a question that couldn't be answered without context... and so he'd been trying to find that context by speaking to himself and his tape machine for hours now.

"You look tired," a familiar voice called out from across his office.

Gendo sat up in his chair to find Fuyutsuki standing across the room, striding toward his desk. "The previous night's events made sleep difficult," he replied evenly.

Fuyutsuki chuckled as he drew closer. "I suppose it will help you sleep easier that SEELE has decided on delaying their conference with you until they've assessed all possible recovery options for the lance."

"There are none," Gendo scoffed. "The old men should know that."

Fuyutsuki chortled. "I suppose they're desperate enough to weigh their options," he replied. "Regardless of you going back on your initial scenario or not, it does through a major wrench in their plans."

Gendo nodded. "Indeed it does," he replied.

Fuyutsuki's eyes landed on the tape machine on his desk. "Any reason that you're sitting there with that?" he inquired.

Gendo breathed a sigh. "I'm attempting to collect my thoughts in a coherent manner, if you must ask," he replied.

"Oh?" Fuyutsuki uttered, perhaps a bit surprised. The man's enigmatic tone revealed nothing. "In regards to what?"

Gendo glared at his confidant and, dare he say... friend. "I've realized that eventually I'll have to explain things as they stand to my son, and I'm attempting to assess how to do so," he growled. "Satisfied?"

Fuyutsuki's lips twitched upwards for a moment. "I see," he returned. "So you've finally found yourself in a situation that stymies that silver tongue of yours..."

Gendo glared daggers at the older man. There was certainly a layer of truth to that but he would never admit it. "Don't make me shoot you," he snapped. "I've grown to like and rely on you too much..."

Fuyutsuki snickered. "Emphasis on the latter part of the statement no doubt..." he countered, his voice edging on full on laughter.

Gendo couldn't help but grin at the statement. "Most definitely," he replied, allowing himself a small chuckle that grew into a full on laugh even if it was rather quiet. It felt... good to be able to open up a little bit. Keeping his emotions bottled up for so long during the time he'd dedicated himself to a pipe dream was oh so tiresome. To think... maybe he could have had real connections and friendships this whole time but just hadn't been able to see it...

"So..." Fuytsuki continued once they'd composed themselves. "I suppose we'll have to think of a plan should SEELE decide to take measures against us regarding using the lance."

Gendo's smile fell away. "That won't be necessary," he replied. "I'm sure I'll be able to talk them down."

"As you always manage to do," Fuyutuski returned.

Gendo smirked. "I thought you said my scheming would eventually get me killed, sensei?" he countered.

"It still may," the older man replied. "But situations like this are your forte."

"Indeed they are," Gendo stated confidently. "After all, we only need to keep them occupied until our friend Kaji can intervene..."

"I hope he will be able to do so in time..." Fuyutsuki responded, his tone becoming deathly serious.

Gendo scowled. "I hope for that as well..." he returned.

Rei awoke with a jolt, her heart racing, her eyes darting back and forth between familiar points in her apartment. She'd been dreaming but the dreams hadn't been pleasant, rather she'd endured a nightmare. She'd dreamed that everyone she'd known and cared for had turned against her after she'd told them about what she was. She'd dreamed that Asuka had turned against her, that Shinji had pushed her away, and that even Ritsuko had cast her aside because of her indecision and inability to effect the future. Never in her lives had she been so thankful to awaken from slumber.

"It was just a dream..." she reminded herself quietly as she sat up in bed and cupped her head in he hands. "It was only a dream..."

She breathed deeply for a minute or two push those thoughts away before finally rising from her bed. After that she set about her usual her school day morning routine, ultimately culminating in departing her quarters to meet Shinji and Asuka at Misato's apartment.

Just like any other day, when she arrived at her destination she rang the doorbell and waited patiently. Shinji answered the door and offered her a nervous half grin. "Hey Rei," he greeted. "How are you feeling?"

Rei offered him a smile similar to his own. "I suppose I'm a bit better than yesterday," she replied. "But that isn't saying much..."

He nodded. "I suppose that's good," he returned. "Right?"

"I would say so. What about Asuka?" Rei replied, changing the subject. "How is she?"

Shinji frowned and looked downwards. "She didn't really talk about it, but it was obvious that she was pretty bad the last time I saw her..." he muttered glumly.

Her eyes widened. Something about what he set just set alarm bells ringing. "The last time you saw her?" she asked. What on earth did he mean? She lived with him...

Shinji sighed. "She left last night late in the evening," he replied. "She said she was going to stay at Horaki-san's place. I think she wants to just... get away from everything. It's probably easier for her that way..."

Rei bit the inside of her lip. She understood Asuka's choice quite well even if she didn't agree with it. There was no doubt in her mind that she was trying to push away the people she had for a support network so she could stew in her shame and hurt alone. Asuka's pride wouldn't allow for anything else. "I see..." she murmured in response. "I understand why she'd do that but I cannot say I agree with it..."

Shinji nodded. "Yeah, I'm with you there," he replied soberly. "But, what can we really do, right? She's gotta handle it herself and that's just her way..."

Rei looked downward. "I suppose that's true..." she returned barely above a whisper.

When Asuka awoke in the morning she was greeted with an unfamiliar white ceiling. For a moment she thought she was still in that horrible hospital ward but when she rolled her head to the side and took sight of her surroundings she remembered where she was and why she was there. She was glad that she hadn't woken up screaming. The nightmares had been unbearable... even thinking about them now that she was awake was enough to make her shudder.

She rolled over on her side, wondering if Kaworu would still be asleep on the floor beside the bed but he wasn't and he wasn't anywhere else in the single room apartment. She laid back down and scowled, curling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her chest. According to the alarm clock on the bedside table school would be starting in around thirty minutes and Kaworu always struck her as a morning kind of person. Of course he was gone already and she was all alone in this apartment with nothing but her thoughts...

Then she heard the toilet flush and sat up in bed again. The door opened and out stepped Kaworu, dressed for school in his uniform, looking rather sleep deprived. "Good morning, Soryu-san," he greeted her, his lips curving upward slightly. "You slept quite late..."

"Morning," she replied. "You look tired..."

He shifted on his feet and his smile fell away. "It... wasn't easy to get good sleep," he replied. "You were... talking in your sleep."

Asuka flinched and her eyes widened at the information. "S- sorry..." she stammered, looking away from him. Normally she would have just gotten angry that someone had heard whatever it was she'd said but she felt more embarrassed than mad... "Wh- what was I saying?"

"It wasn't anything coherent," he replied. "But you were calling out for your mother quite a bit..."

Asuka flinched yet again. Of course she would be saying things like that. She had been dreaming about those times when her mother had been in the hospital and about her death after all... "Oh..." she murmured softly. "Sorry if I kept you up..."

"It's fine," he replied. "It just... made me worried."

Asuka felt a heat in her cheeks. It was so strange having him voice that he was genuinely concerned about her... no. No, she shouldn't be entertaining such thoughts. Thoughts like that wouldn't do her any good so it was best to just shove them down. "Thanks, I guess..." she grumbled.

There was an awkward pause before Kaworu spoke again. "Aren't you going to start getting ready for school?" he asked. "If you don't then you'll be late."

Asuka stared down at her knees and dug her fingers into the blankets of the bed. She was so grateful that he'd allowed her to stay and she knew it was it was even more of an imposition to ask what she was thinking but... she just couldn't go there and face those looks of shallow concern and pity from Rei, Shinji, and everyone else. "No..." she responded softly. "I don't think I want to go to school right now... can I just stay here?"

"I don't mind," Kaworu replied after another short pause. "I can understand you needing time to breathe after whatever it was you went through yesterday."

Again, Asuka felt that soft heat in her cheeks and that thumping in her chest. It felt good and yet she resented it, hated it even. "Thanks for understanding..." she muttered, still refusing to look him in the eye. "You better get going then..."

There was yet another pause that hung in the air like a fog before Kaworu responded. "Alright, I'll see you when I get back," he replied evenly. "Take care of yourself, Soryu-san."

She said nothing as he headed to the door and exited, leaving her alone. Instantly a part of her regretted staying here as she didn't want to be alone but it was easier than being around other people right now. She hated feeling this way and she hated that she had no way to change it. She hated that she hated feeling this way. She just... hated herself.

She finally slid off the bed and began digging through the bag she'd brought with her until she'd retrieved her gaming console and controller. At least Kaworu had a television in this tiny place of his. That way she could play her games and try not to think about any of it. It was easier to just distract herself and escape into another world where nothing could really hurt her. She knew she was running away but she just didn't care.

It was easier to just keep running forever than to face the things that scarred her heart...

Morning duties were over with, and that found Ryuji Nakajima sitting alone in his platoon barracks, cleaning the bolt of his Howa Type 89 to try and focus on anything other than his growing suspicions and paranoia. The base his regiment was stationed at seemed to clamor with more and more activity every single day. The special forces had followed his division back here and were staying nearby, the Air Self Defense Force was constantly overflying, and the tank regiments were constantly mucking about in the area. It all served to confirm that his suspicions were accurate...

At least his regiment had been granted furlough for a few days starting in the afternoon. That was something he had to look forward to, not that he planned to go anywhere. Taking the Shinkansen to visit family would waste half of his precious time to relax. Also, he wanted to stick around and do what meager digging into the build up that he could. Uncovering the rhyme and reason for all the things going on had become somewhat of an obsession for him, though he was already quite certain what it was all about...

"Hey, what's up?" a familiar voice called to him from the doorway to the barrack. "How come you're just sitting here all alone?"

He breathed a heavy sigh. "I got a lot on my mind, Masaki," he replied, turning around to regard his friend over his shoulder. "You know that."

"I know, but right now we have some time to relax, so you should be happy instead of holing up in here," Masaki stated with a grin.

Nakajima scowled. "I suppose you're right," he huffed. "But it's not easy, man, and you know exactly why..."

Masaki frowned and shook his head. "I know, there's a lot of buildup going on but you need to lighten up," he replied. "Nothing's happened yet and until it does, then why worry?"

"And then what?" Nakajima countered. "What if something does?"

Masaki sighed. "Then I suppose we'll just have to deal with it like good soldiers..." he murmured softly.

Nakajima snorted. "Yeah..." he scoffed. "Like good soldiers..."

Masaki sat down on the bunk beside him. "Hey, since we can leave base for the next few days, why don't we go out for a few drinks, huh?" he said with a grin. "I'm really hoping to meet that girl I've been telling you so much about."

Nakajima raised an eyebrow. "The one who supposedly has a friend?" he inquired.

"The very same," Masaki replied. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

Nakajima shrugged and set about reassembling his rifle. "Sure, why not?" he returned. "I don't see the harm in it."

"That's the spirit!" Masaki replied with a jovial laugh, slapping him on the back and standing up. "Meet you at the gates around five."

"Sounds good," Nakajima replied. It had been quite a while since he'd had a shot with a girl... maybe it would be a good distraction from all the things plaguing his mind.

Colonel Mitsuo Shikishima exited his quarters late in the afternoon dressed in a plain civilian clothes. He'd been planning on wearing a suit out but considering the place that Fujita had chosen for his meeting with Kaji he would have stuck out like a sore thumb. That said, he wore a simple pair of jeans, a button up shirt, and a bomber jacket. It was just about the most casual outfit he could manage to put together.

Perhaps Fujita was right... he really didn't own very many civilian clothes.

Heading down the hall he tried his best to carry himself with poise and ignore the looks of surprise he met from some of the staff that had never seen him dress in anything other than uniform. Was it so hard to believe that someone like him owned casual clothes and was going to enjoy an evening on the town away from his duties? He supposed that it was a rare occasion but it was still a bit annoying to witness the looks surprise bordering on nervous suspicion.

"Colonel Shikishima," someone called out to him.

He halted his stride and turned around, finding one of the men he trusted most standing there. "Major Ichijo," he responded. "What demands my attention?"

Major Hajime Ichijo was the commander of the first company of the special forces regiment that Shikishima commanded. He was a bold and no nonsense man with a distinct sense of honor and loyal to a fault. If there was any man in his inner circle that he came close to accepting as a confidant or even a friend, it would be him. Shikishima noted the perplexed look on the man's face. "Nothing particularly," Major Ichijo replied, walking up to him. "It's just... curious seeing you on base without a chest full of brass. Is something the matter, sir?"

Shikishima scowled down at him. Great... even his second in command was seeing alarm bells. Perhaps it would have been better to change clothes once he'd left the base... "Is my current manner of dress really so conspicuous, Major?" he retorted.

Major Ichijo nodded. "It is, sir," he replied flatly. "And I've noticed that you've seemed a bit shaken up in the last few days. Is something troubling you?"

Shikishima sighed and pinched his temples. Honest and forthright to a fault, that was Ichijo through and through. He respected it, but in times like this it was definitely an inconvenience, mostly because he was honest to a fault himself. Honest men usually didn't last long in his line of work... "I'm going to meet someone," he stated letting his hand fall to his side and puffing out his chest in display of professional confidence. "That's all you need to know."

"That scumbag snoop Fujita you keep close to you?" Major Ichijo inquired, his eyes narrowing just a bit.

Shikishima scowled. "Yes," he replied. "There's a professional matter that I've been having him work on. Need I tell you that you're out of line for asking, Major..."

Major Ichijo nodded. "I may be overstepping my rank, but I can't help but be concerned for someone I consider a friend..." he murmured, stepping closer and shifting his eyes around before continuing. "Now, please, as a friend... what's going on, sir?"

Shikishima looked around the hall to make sure that there was no one else in earshot. He couldn't hide things from Ichijo. Ichijo was the kind of man who would follow him into hell if he ordered it. "I've been digging up information on NERV," he stated quietly. "I'm meeting with Fujita and someone else who was even more embedded in order to create a report on my finding."

Major Ichijo's eyes widened. "You're treading dangerous ground, sir," he replied, his voice low and serious. "If the higher ups knew you were running your own intelligence gathering on the side like this you'd be court martialed. You know that, right?"

Shikishima nodded. "I know the risks," he replied. "But if I can avoid needless bloodshed then I'll accept them."

Major Ichijo nodded, his lips twitching upward. "A noble sentiment, one we both share," he replied. "Just be careful, Colonel..."

"I shall," Shikishima replied. "Is that all, Major?"

Major Ichijo nodded. "It is," he replied, snapping to attention and issuing a salute. "Good luck, Mitsuo..."

"I'll need it, Hajime..." Shikishima returned gravely, saluting back. "Especially if what Fujita said can be verified by the contact I'm meeting..."

It was late in the evening and the sun had already descended beyond the horizon. Kaji exited the car he'd ridden in beside Fujita on the street outside the bar in Atami he was supposed to meet Shikishima at, a briefcase at his side. Cautiously, he looked both ways down the street, assessing every point of egress and whether he was being watched. In his line of work, one could never be too careful, even if one was a legally dead man, perhaps especially if one was a dead man... "So this is the place, huh?" he asked his companion.

"It is," Fujita replied. "You know what to do, right?"

The words and method of introduction had been agreed upon earlier in the day. He would sit down at the bar, order a drink, and wait. He knew that Shikishima would sit down next to him on his left when a seat became available. Whenever he did he'd state the words, 'the typhoon last year brought needed rain' at which point Shikishima would reply, 'yes, but the winds were almost too much to bear'. "Yes," Kaji replied. "I know what to do."

Fujita breathed a sigh. "Good," he said, fumbling in his pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one and taking a deep breath of smoke. "Then there's nothing else to do but go in there."

Kaji raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I didn't know you smoked," he stated softly.

"Only when I'm dealing with more stress than I can reasonably handle," Fujita replied. "We've been dealing with some heavy shit lately... and what do you care anyway? You've been chaining 'em since we've been on the run..."

Kaji shrugged. "I don't know, it's just interesting to see," he replied.

Fujita chuckled and smirked. "Well you should know I'm rather interesting by now, Kaji-kun," he teased before taking on a more serious tone. "Now go on and get in there. I'll stay out here and watch the street. Count yourself lucky, you've got the easy job..."

Kaji nodded. It was quite true. In their line of work one was much more likely to get themselves shot while alone than among a crowd... "Alright," he replied, moving toward the door of the bar and stepping inside.

The inside was just as dimly lit and seedy as he expected it to be. There were leather jacketed men arguing loudly over the single billiard table in the corner and a haze of cigarette smoke filled the air. The place was certainly not the kind of place one would expect to meet someone of high rank in the military. He supposed that was a benefit. If they were meeting at a high class hotel bar it would be much more conspicuous. Kaji shook his head and moved toward the bar. It was best not to think about such things. All that mattered was passing along the information he had...

As soon as he sat down the bartender moved over to him. "What'cha want, bud?" the balding man behind the counter asked.

"Just a beer," Kaji replied. "Boa, if you have it."

The bartender nodded. "Comin up," the man replied, before moving away to fetch his order.

Kaji observed his surroundings as his drink was being poured, taking in the atmosphere for a moment. Soon enough, the bartender returned with his drink and he took a large gulp from his glass. This kind of place was not the kind of bar he enjoyed, and the sounds of heated argument coming from the billiard area was only making him more nervous than he already was...

Moments later a towering man with a pencil mustache wearing a brown leather jacket sat down beside him on his left. "Asahi, please," the man said, calling to the bartender.

"Comin' up, big guy," the bartender responded, moving quickly to pour a glass.

Kaji eyed the newcomer out of the corner of his eye. From what he understood, Shikishima was someone who matched the description of the giant next to him. After the bartender gave the man his drink and moved on he decided to chance speaking. "The typhoon last year brought needed rain," he stated as he took a drink of his beer.

The man next to him sipped his own beer and set it down with a stoic expression. "Yes, but the winds were almost too much to bear..." he replied.

Kaji breathed a sigh of relief. It was on now, the meeting had begun... "Shikishima-san, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," he stated quietly, sipping his beer.

"It's unfortunate that we meet under such displeasing circumstances, Kaji-san," Shikishima stated, taking a swig of his own drink. "We're living through dark days..."

"Indeed," Kaji returned. "That's why you're meeting me here, yes?"

"Correct," Shikishima replied. "I understand that you were deeply embedded at NERV."

Kaji flinched. That was far too direct a question, even for the noisy environment they were in. If Shikishima spoke so blatantly about the matters at hand then the cover and anonymity of a crowd would be rendered pointless. "I was," he replied with a glare, his voice low but harsh. "And I would appreciate you speaking less directly. There's only so much that the clamor of a crowd can conceal. We don't need to make this meeting more risky than it is..."

"Apologies," Shikishima returned, his lips curving downward. "In my business men tend to speak rather frankly."

"A respectable trait, but counter productive in my line of work," Kaji stated. "Men like me usually keep things as vague as possible, and right now you're in my world..."

Shikishima snorted. "What a world it is..." he scoffed. "I can imagine a life of deception must be tense and grow quite tiresome."

Kaji nodded. "It can be," he replied. "But at times it can be liberating."

"It's certainly one alien from mine..." Shikishima replied softly, his eyes glancing down at the briefcase. "Now, down to business. What do you have there?"

Kaji reached down to the bottom of the stool and grabbed the briefcase he'd brought it, placing it atop the bar. "Inside these folders is everything I've uncovered and everything that was given to me by the CEO himself," he stated quietly. "Keep it and look it over. I can assure you it's all verifiable..."

Shikishima breathed a heavy sigh. "To think that the Sec- the... current state of the world was wrought by human hands..." he whispered darkly as he opened the briefcase and eyed the stack of folders and papers within. "The horrors that men create know no end..."

Kaji frowned. The conversation was still a little too direct for a public setting, even one as loud and seedy as the one they were speaking in. "Do you think you can help, or not?" he asked after looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, ready to abort the meeting and bolt for the door if needed. "Do you think you can use your position to avert what's coming?"

There was a long pause as Shikishima took a sip of his beer and set it down with a heavy sigh. "It will take me a while to condense this into a concise report," he replied softly.

"How long?" Kaji pressed.

"At least a few days," Shikishima replied. "Possibly a week. I do have other paperwork and drills that require my attention."

Kaji took a gulp of his beer and glared at him. "I suggest you put this before anything else on your itinerary," he stated firmly. "I have reason to believe that time is running short."

Shikishima frowned. "How long do you think it'll be until things get dicey?" he asked.

"Within three weeks," Kaji stated gravely. "Do you think you can make a difference in that time?"

Shikishima's eyes widened. "Three weeks..." he murmured, looking down at the counter top. "You really mean to tell me that the... company... is going to make their move and this... group... you used to work for is going to play their hand in three weeks?"

"Yes," Kaji replied flatly. If it had been a matter less grave he might have cracked a grin from watching Shikishima stumble over himself trying to be intentionally vague... but this was a matter concerning the fate of humanity. There was no room for wisecracks or smiles here.

Shikishima looked down and rested his forehead in his palm. "That doesn't leave any room for error," he muttered, his tone taking on an air of frustration. "I may be in a very good position to do something but how much depends quite a bit on my superiors. Duty and personal ambition seldom follow the same path, and all higher ups at the end of the day prioritize ambition. My... business is no different than any other industry in that regard..."

Kaji could see the conflict in the man's eyes. He understood all too well the conflict between duty and personal ambition. "I completely understand," Kaji replied. "Such is the world we live in..."

"It would have been easier if you and Fujita had come to me sooner..." Shikishima muttered, straightening up and finishing his drink.

"Circumstances prevented it," Kaji returned. "Trust and believe, I'm not happy about how things have played out either. The cards are certainly not in anyone's favor."

"Only in the favor of those who want things worse for humanity because that's to their own benefit," Shikishima growled, balling his fist on the bar top and grimacing. "It's always old men sending young men to die for their ends that make the world such a horrid place..."

Kaji couldn't help but chuckle. The irony of seeing an officer of the Japanese Special Forces saying such a thing was just rich. "If they didn't, men like you and I would be out of a job," he quipped with a small smirk.

"Perhaps that would be for the better," Shikishima countered. "I for one have seen enough of war, and enough of bloodshed among my own countrymen in the wake of Second Impact..."

Kaji's smirk fell away, replaced with a vacant expression as the memory of seeing his dead brother's corpse filled his mind. "Yeah... I've seen enough of it too..." he muttered softly.

Shikishima raised an arm and snapped his fingers to call over the bartender. Once he'd gotten his attention he pointed down at his glass firmly, signaling for it to be filled. "I think I'll have another drink," he stated. "After that conversation I need one. You?"

Kaji shook his head. "No, I think I'm good," he replied. "Fujita's waiting for me outside."

Shikishima nodded and his lips twitched upwards. "I understand," he returned almost warmly. "Give him my best wishes."

"I shall," Kaji replied, standing up from his stool. "Take care, Colonel."

He turned to leave but only got a few steps before Shikishima spoke again, his voice once again steely and serious. "I should hope you're working on contingencies..." he said. "As you said, time is running short..."

"Trust and believe, we have been..." Kaji replied. With those final words he headed for the door of the bar.

As soon as he pressed through the exit and stepped out onto the street he came face to face with Fujita who was leaning up against the wall beside the door with arms folded, one hand inside his jacket. "How'd it go?" he asked, unfolding his arms and stepping away from the wall.

"Well enough," Kaji replied. "He'll be passing a report up in the next few days."

"I suppose that's as good as we can hope for," Fujita stated with a sigh. "We've done what we can. All that's left is sit tight and see what happens I suppose..."

Kaji nodded, his frown deepening. Shikishima hadn't seemed too confident, he could sense the doubt radiating off of him the entire time. "And continue taking steps to ensure we can pursue our backup plan, just in case..." he stated softly.

Fujita's eyebrows knit up and he looked down at the ground. "That as well..." he murmured before stepping towards the car. "Come on, let's get out of here..."

Kaji followed him without another word.

The afternoon after leaving base had not turned out nearly as well as Ryuji Nakajima hoped it would. He and Masaki had left the base and taken the train down to Atami where they'd met the girls at a nightclub by the docks. For the first thirty minutes or so things had gone rather well. Masaki and the girl he was interested in seemed to hit it off great and he was happy for him... but his own evening quickly deteriorated. The friend that Masaki's lady had brought along seemed like a nice enough girl, she genuinely did, but Nakajima hadn't been much in the mood to dance or party from the outset of the outing. That said, he'd elected to sit with a drink and simply talk with his arranged date. This... did not go as planned.

The conversation had started off well enough for a first meeting. His arranged date, a girl by the name of Kaede Fujihara, told him that she was second year of university studying studying biology and he'd told her about how he was a soldier in the SDF. He'd listened to her talk about her studies and Fujihara had laid out a whole bunch of terms and language that he barely comprehended but he was happy to listen as the drinks kept flowing... and then she'd asked him about his profession.

He'd gone on a rant. He'd explained the minor and major annoyances of soldiering life which he was happy to leave off at but she'd pressed him, asking why he seemed so closed off and dour. He'd told her. He'd explained the exercise that his regiment had taken part in up in Hokkaido and then gone off on a drunken conspiracy rant about his theories about the government and NERV.

It went without saying that small talk and pleasantries were over by the end of said rant...

Masaki and his date had returned to the table around the time he was winding down and Masaki had politely let him know that he'd had enough to drink. In his altered state after six shots of American bourbon he argued quite boisterously that he had not in fact had enough to drink and that his friend was being absurd. They'd gotten into a rather heated debate over that matter which ended with him leaving the nightclub alone.

It went without saying that he'd made an ass of himself tonight...

So it was that he wandered, or rather stumbled, through the streets of Atami until he'd happened upon the seedy dive bar he was currently sitting in. He knew he was going to have a hangover on base the next morning but he didn't care. He'd sleep it off in whatever shitty hotel he'd rent for the night and get over it. What he wouldn't get over was the conversation he'd just overheard bits and pieces of a few seats down from where he sat at the counter.

He'd recognized the large man with the bomber jacket as Colonel Shikishima, one of the commanders of the special forces units his regiment had just wrapped up drills with but the person he was talking to was a mystery. What wasn't a mystery was what they were talking about and hearing it had given his theories all the confirmation he needed. It left him sitting there looking completely and totally shocked. The details were fuzzy but he could understand enough to feel justifiably horrified. Perhaps it was the conspiracy theorist in him, but the prospect that those two could possibly have been implying that the Second Impact had been caused by human hands was simply bananas...

"I should have stayed on base..." he slurred softly to himself, staring down into his beer and shaking his head. He chugged the rest of his beer and headed for the can, both so he could take a leak and so he could call Masaki and let him know what he'd overheard.

As soon as he'd finished his business and washed his hands he set about doing just that, dialing his friend's cell number. Masaki answered after five or so rings. "Hey, you finally calm down, bro?" he said, sounding a little annoyed.

He supposed he deserved that derision. "Yeah, I'm good," Nakajima replied, frowning. "Sorry I was shooting my mouth off..."

"Well, that's good," Masaki returned. "You were really acting like a jackass... but Kaede wants to give you another shot 'cuz you were quite pleasant before you got too drunk."

Nakajima scowled. "Sounds good, but that's not important right now..." he responded in a hushed voice.

"What?" Masaki responded. "That girl's giving you another shot and it's not important? What could be more important?"

Nakajima shuddered as he thought about what he was going to say. "Dude..." he whispered, swaying on his feet as he looked around to make sure he was alone. "You're never gonna believe what I just heard..."

Author's notes

-edit- did a few tweaks to the last few scenes. TNO had a really good point about them and I hope I've rectified it sufficiently.

So it is that that the efforts of Kaji and Gendo are beginning to get somewhere... but how much can be altered awaits to be seen. After all, as Gendo said, time is running short...

Again, I do apologize for the delays in getting this out. At this point my time to write is far more limited than I would like it to be. I'll have to say I'm particularly proud of the conversation between Kaji and Shikishima. That's been a moment I've been looking forward to putting on the page for months now and I'll say that it turned just about exactly how I wanted it to.

The parts with the pilots were also quite enjoyable to write, the scenes with Kaworu and Asuka especially. Unfortunatly, no real moments between Rei and Shinji this chapter. Then again, considering what they've all been through, I think it's understandable that they're all kind of stewing in their fears and woes.

Please read and review!

Regards,

A.F.