Chapter 2: The Royal Trainer
(Okay, I lied before. I said that I would shift to third person, but fell in love with Renji's 'Rukon angled' perception of a noble/royal event, so I'm going with Renji as narrator)
I watch quietly, my heart cracking into pieces and the sound of my blood rushing furiously in my ears as Byakuya finishes a final perusal of his desk area, then we walk into his nearly empty quarters, where he scans the room and studies the remaining contents of the large, walk-in closet.
"That seems to be everything," he says absently, leaving the closet and sitting down on the bed.
I follow and sit down beside him, watching as he struggles to find the right words for the conversation we both know we have to have. He doesn't want to say the words any more than I want to hear them, but what we want doesn't matter anymore. What's happening to him? To me? It's like that day he took Rukia from me. But now, he's the one being torn out of my life and taken away. I wonder if I'll ever even see him again.
I can't let him see me cry.
"It's okay if you can't say anything. I understand," I tell him.
My voice sounds like I swallowed a truck full of sand and it shakes. He's got to know I'm full of shit, but he takes the words in and sighs.
"Do you?" he asks, "Because...I can barely comprehend any of this. It seems unreal."
"You can say that again," I agree.
"But you know how I hate repeating myself," he teases softly, surprising me with a touch of humor.
But, faced with the prospect of never seeing him again, I just can't summon even my usual chuckle. All I can think of was how I want to kiss Byakuya again...and again and again, until neither of us can move, or even breathe. I want to bury my face in the soft, lovely, sakura scented hair and wrap my arms around him.
But, that's not allowed anymore.
Still...I can't help but say to myself, 'What the fuck?' You know? I'm going to die inside anyway. I might as well earn a damned death sentence for kissing him. Yeah, I'd be completely willing to die for that.
I meet his eyes apologetically for a moment, then cast aside the carefully placed distance and throw my arms around him, surprising the hell out of him by plunging deeply into his mouth before he can object. And although he knows damned well it's against the rules, Byakuya can't help but kiss me back passionately, pressing his body up against mine and holding onto me as tightly as he can.
That promise that I wasn't going to cry just got broken. But I couldn't care less. All I can do is hold him and kiss him and let the tears run down my face. And I'll be damned if he's not doing the same thing.
Kuchiki Byakuya is crying because he doesn't want to leave me. The guy who was willing to let his sister be killed is looking down at the floor in embarrassment as we kiss, and silent tears run down our faces. Neither one of us has the strength to end that shattering moment, but footsteps in the hallway bring us quickly back to our senses. He pulls away and discreetly wipes the tears away. And by the time the door to his quarters opens, and Ginrei walks in, we're composed enough, I guess. The old man doesn't seem to notice.
Then, we see he's not alone. A guy just a little bit taller than Taichou with plain looking brown hair and eyes and a funny little smirk is with him. He's wearing the king's crest, so I guess that the guy is some kind of royal messenger.
Boy, am I ever off base!
"Byakuya," Ginrei says, looking like he's feeling sort of guilty that he's not making more of a fuss about selling his favored grandson and heir into sexual slavery at the hands of the king.
But then, rank certainly has its privileges, doesn't it? And if I was king and choosing who I wanted to wake up next to every day, I would have made the same choice. Damn him for having such good taste!
"Grandfather?" Taichou says, his voice catching a little, but staying carefully controlled.
"This is Anzai Satoshi," Ginrei says, motioning towards the royal guy, "He is King Tatsuo's personal relations counselor and the king has assigned him the task of instructing you of his majesty's preferences. We will be traveling to the spirit dimension with the royal entourage, so it will take about two weeks for us to complete your official introductory tour as King's Intended, then we will travel to the palace for your wedding."
Damn, that sounds like a whole lot of partying. Too bad, them being royal, the 'partying' will probably actually be kinda lame. I'm not being cynical here. Taichou actually said something like that, only of course he phrased in a nicer way.
"As we travel, Satoshi will inform you and make you comfortable with your duties as consort and also counsel you, as his majesty is aware that his proposal must have come as a welcome, but profound surprise to you."
Sounds like a nice way of saying, 'I know you don't want to marry me, but I'm the king, so get used to it. And here's a guy who's going to help you get used to it if you have a problem with it. But give up any idea of talking your way out of this and just going home. You're marrying me and having my babies, got it?'
These royals and nobles have a language all their own. My language is much more simple and to the point. Taichou's getting royally screwed...both in the figurative sense and the literal.
Maybe it's better that they're being more polite about it.
Still, how can you be polite about taking a guy who doesn't know you and doesn't love you a ramming your dick up his ass? What's the polite way to say, 'Your feelings about this don't matter, but I'll be nice about upending your life and taking you away from everything and everyone you know and love? Oh, and while we're at it, let's just forget you're this powerful and valuable military leader. Now, you're window dressing, and even though you're all man, you're going to be lining my bed and popping out royal babies!'
If you ask me, there's no fucking right or nice way to say that, and truthfully, why bother? You're taking someone's life away, so you really should just be honest about it.
Maybe there's a damned good reason that Tatsuo is king and I'm not...one that has absolutely nothing to do with where we were both born. And suddenly, to me? The lower Rukongai seems a little less brutal than it used to...
Taichou nods at Ginrei, then accepts Satoshi's hand and looks into his eyes in greeting. And for a moment, I feel something strange, this little hitch the I sometimes get inside, just before something really bad happens. I guess it's because that time just arrived, the one I have been dreading. He's going to leave me now. And with these guys here, he has to do it without giving anything away. I have to tell you, I've seen his strength in battle, but it doesn't hold a candle to how sadly beautiful and strong he is inside when shit like this happens to him. He turns back to me and surprises the hell out of me by bowing as though I'm his equal...as though I didn't come from the lower Rukongai, but was born in a noble home with a silver spoon in my mouth and grew up right alongside him. He is so goddamned beautiful it makes my eyes tear up again, but I manage not to lose it as he meets my eyes stoically and takes my hand for the last time.
"Abarai Renji," he says, freezing me in place with the way he says it...soft-like and like I'm something as treasured to him as I know my friend Rukia is, "thank you. I am deeply grateful for you friendship and loyalty. I very much hope that we may see each other again someday. Be well. Farewell."
I almost lose it, but something in the way he looks at me gives me the strength to just accept his hand and to raise it slightly, like I've seen the nobles do and give it gentle kiss. I must have done something shocking, because Taichou's eyes widen and Ginrei makes a little surprised sound. There's something in Satoshi's extremely intelligent and perceptive eyes that tells me he didn't miss a thing. But I've gotta wonder what that guy is thinking as he looks from Taichou to me and smiles.
That is one beautiful and creepy smile. What is with this guy? I look at him a little more closely and my eyes blur.
Weird...
"Ah," he says, eyeing me in a way that makes my insides quiver, "Yes, this must be a difficult parting for two such deeply bonded comrades as yourselves."
I don't know what he's getting at, but I've got these strange little goose bumps crawling all over my body as he looks us over again. Ginrei looks like he thinks he should say something, but hasn't the vaguest idea what to say, and Taichou is blushing.
Oh my gods, that's so fucking cute!
If there's a last memory I want to have, it's that...well, since we never got past first base, it's that...
"Abarai-san," he says, but I only half hear him, because Taichou looks so cute and vulnerable right now, I think I'll need a long, cold shower after they go, "You have been Kuchiki-sama's devoted fukutaichou and friend for some time now, and perhaps, if you don't mind, you could be of service to him for the duration of the introductory tour?"
Ginrei is speechless now and Taichou looks ready to faint. What the hell is wrong with this guy? Does he not get by now that Taichou and I are in love and getting broken up? He must not, because he gives me that beautiful but somehow freaky smile again and nods.
"Kuchiki-sama is understandably overwhelmed by his majesty's proposal. Tatsuo-sama wants that he should have ample time to...make peace with his situation before reaching the palace. Perhaps you could accompany us on the tour and assist me in instructing him in the king's preferences?"
This just sounds wrong on so many levels.
But the guy's just doing his job, right? He knows more than I do about psychology, so maybe he knows something I don't, here. But I'd be lying if I said that the idea of having a little more time with Taichou is too good to pass up. I just wonder what the hell the guy's going to be 'instructing him' in. Taichou already knows how to be the perfect host, how to use proper manners and the like. I know what I wish he'd be using me to teach Taichou!
How to kiss in ways guaranteed to make a guy hard?
Ways of touching that feel innocent, but are sexy as hell?
Words that amplify arousal during sex?
The list goes on in my sick, desperate mind so that it almost drowns out the voices around me. When I come out of it, the three of them are looking at me expectantly and I don't remember what the hell anyone asked me.
"So, you will accompany us?" Satoshi asks, snapping me viciously back to reality.
Yeah, it'll probably be a couple of weeks of training in royal etiquette and I'll probably be bored out of my mind, but I'll be with Taichou, so it can't be that bad, right?
"Yeah, uh, sure," I manage without tripping over my tongue, "Whatever Taichou needs."
"Thank you, Abarai-san," the counselor says, never losing that unnerving smile, "Well, we had best be on our way. You needn't worry about packing anything, Abarai-san. We will provide whatever you need on the tour."
And the next thing you know, we're walking out of the sixth division...the last time for Taichou. He looks back just once and his eyes are sad. He sees me looking at him and looks away quickly. But I know he's going to be thinking about this place that was like our home while we were taichou and fukutaichou. It feels good to be a part of what he's going to miss, even though I'm aching all over at the thought. Still, we have this couple of weeks to sort things out before we really have to say goodbye. I wouldn't trade a moment of time with this guy. I'd even let him beat me nearly to death like before, if it meant more time with him.
Kami, I must really be in love with him.
Yeah, he's the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. And he's going to be the biggest heartbreak of my life. But, some disasters, you can't stop, even if you're given a hundred chances to jump off before the damned thing crashes and burns. You hang on and go down in flames because it's better than facing what happens after.
"Renji," Taichou says, touching my arm as we walk behind Ginrei and Satoshi toward the first division.
"Yeah, Taichou?"
"You really shouldn't call me that anymore," he says in a quieter voice.
"What do you want me to call you, Kuchiki-taichou? Kuchiki-sama? Byakuya-taichou? Senpai?"
"Hmmm," he says, considering, "I do not want to invite scandal, although I would prefer you call me by my first name. But under the circumstances, I suppose the last will do."
"Hai, Senpai, it is."
We reach the first division and there's a little bit of lag time where we're waiting for everyone to gather around the four big rolling things that look like parade floats, and will be our home on the tour, as well as where Taichou (Hey, I can still call him that in my head, ne?) will be displayed to people as we travel around. Taichou's busy with several messengers that have come from the king and a couple of the noble families, so I wander closer to the floats to get a better look. I hear voices around the side of the thing and can't help but be curious.
"Is something wrong, Ginrei-dono?" a male voice asks.
I hear the old man sigh unhappily.
"It just seems strange, Satoshi-san showing up so suddenly like that," Ginrei says, "He was, of course, cleared to join us if he wished, but I had thought he had decided to simply counsel my grandson when we reached the palace. Still, that isn't all."
He lowers his voice, but I can still hear him.
"I think he knows that there is more between my grandson and his fukutaichou than just their working relationship. That much is clear to me. So, why he invited Abarai-san to accompany us on the tour stymies me. It seems to invite disaster. I just hope that he knows what he is doing. I would not have my grandson's name be disgraced or have his friend cast under suspicion."
That's kind of nice. I think ol' man Ginrei's always had a soft spot for Taichou because of what happened to Kuchiki Soujun, Taichou's father. It wasn't easy for Ginrei to lose his son, and his son was his fukutaichou at the time. He probably blamed himself, and that's why he's always been lenient with Byakuya.
But what he says leaves me a little worried. I don't want to get Taichou in trouble or anything. I start to wonder if I should back out, but before I can really think about it, boarding time comes and we're hustled aboard and settled into our rooms. Satoshi and Taichou and I have adjoining suites, according to the king's counselor, this is so that we have easy access to each others' rooms during Taichou's counseling sessions.
I know what I'd like to use the access for, but I don't want to get Taichou executed for cheating on the king before their wedding, so that's out.
My room is huge. Shit, you could probably stuff our whole division in here and have one hell of a party! And Satoshi-san was right about everything being provided. There are some fancy kimonos in my size, an array of snacks, a full bar and a bed so sinfully soft I could live there. The whole damned place is trimmed in gold and there are sculptures and works of art, even a goddamned fountain in the middle of the room. And we each have an attendant to serve us too.
"Is there anything you need?" my attendant, Jun, asks.
He's on the young side for an attendant, but he's smart and kind. He knows I'm not used to all of this and he does what he can to help me settle in.
"I'm fine, thanks," I tell him.
"Sir, I am instructed to take you to Satoshi's room for Kuchiki-sama's first counseling session now."
"But it's just outside my door," I laugh, "I can walk there without getting lost. Really."
"I know, sir," Jun says, looking amused, "It seems silly, but it is our way."
It is our way.
I have a feeling I'll be hearing that a lot as we travel.
I give a chuckle and fall in behind him as we head out my door and he escorts me to Satoshi's room. He knocks and the door is answered by Ken, Satoshi's attendant. Byakuya and his attendant from Kuchiki Manor, Kuchiki Torio, are already inside with Satoshi. The attendants get us settled with some snacks and tea, then leave us alone for the session. I'm a little nervous now about what that guy's got in mind for us. And when he speaks, I learn I was damned right to have that perception.
"Now then," Satoshi says, his eyes narrowing slightly, "His majesty, Tatsuo-sama, is a great and gentle ruler. He understands, Kuchiki-sama, that he is asking a great deal of you, taking your hand and causing you to have to leave your family and responsibilities behind. But as you do, be comforted that he very much wants to provide a comfortable transition for you. That is why he has sent me. I will acclimatize you in the ways of our lord, King Tatsuo, so that when you arrive and take on the duties of consort, it will be less overwhelming and more comfortable for you."
"I understand," Taichou answers, lowering his eyes.
"The first step in making you more comfortable is going to be by desensitizing you to some things that, right now, might be a bit daunting."
"Such as...?"
"Well, you have been a model clan leader and taichou. You are used to being in the public eye. But your position here will be one of subservience to his majesty, and yet above everyone else. You must be perfectly comfortable in the presence of others, even when your own defenses are down or you are in a tenuous position."
Byakuya frowns.
"I don't think I understand you," he says.
I kinda feel the same.
"Let me put it this way," Satoshi goes on, "You must, at all times, maintain an air of dignity and pride, even though you will be on display. It is like walking naked in front of others. So, as a way of making you at ease with that, when you come for your sessions, all of us will be naked."
The room goes silent and I don't know if I can even describe Taichou's expression. Surprised doesn't seem to cut it, nor does stunned. He's gone a shade paler and seems to be struggling for words. It gets even harder (pardon the pun, there), as Satoshi undoes his yukata and lets it slide to the floor.
"Kuchiki-sama, Abarai-san, you will please take off your clothes."
Holy shit...did I hear that right?