Edited from the original to fit FFN's content guidelines.
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The case to Mebuki's phone was a hard outer shell with an external battery, one meant to extend her battery life for another two charges. "This thing looks like a brick," Tomoko had said, when Mebuki fished it out of her purse. And it was like a brick: it was heavy in her hand. If she dropped it from the second floor, the screen would still be intact.
She'd also just upgraded her phone - it was only a few months old when she somehow slipped into the alternate dimension, the lithium battery still retaining its charge, fresh from the factory.
But still: it was nothing short of a miracle that she still had battery life after over a year of not using it.
"What are you doing?" Jacob said. Mebuki had turned her phone on again.
"I'm seeing if there's enough bars to where I can google how to make a car engine."
"'Car engine'?" Jacob echoed. Mebuki stood up, staring at her phone, ignoring him.
In all the isekai titles she'd read, the main character always used their modern knowledge to invent something, bringing wealth and riches and enchanting the backwards populace. But Mebuki was just an office worker, she didn't know how to manufacture clothing or develop antibiotics. They already had soap in this world; she couldn't suddenly show them how to cook or fry chicken. "What the hell kind of good is having modern knowledge if I don't know how any of this stuff works?" Mebuki said. Jacob tilted his head as she scrolled on her phone, furiously.
"I can't even manufacture condoms!" Mebuki said. "We have condoms made out of latex, not sheep intestines! And all I know how to do is describe them."
How the fuck did they discover electricity? How can you make a light bulb with nothing to plug it in? She gave up and tossed the phone on the desk.
"I don't even know why I'm trying so hard. I'm already the goddamn princess."
xXx
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"Must we really use condoms?" Jacob said. Mebuki scowled at him.
"It's your own damn fault. You're lucky I'm not pregnant."
Jacob shuffled. This was something new. Normally he was strutting around with his chest puffed out, cocky and arrogant and wearing a shit-eating grin. Now Jacob seemed chastened. Mebuki sat on her knees wearing her nightgown as Jacob reached around the dresser and picked up a small, velvet box, carefully untying the ribbon.
"What the fuck," Mebuki said, as Jacob pulled out what looked like a large, thin tube sock.
"This is the condom," Jacob said. Mebuki grimaced, pinching her nose. It smelled vaguely of excrement. "I had it soaked in alkali solution to soften it."
"Why the fuck does it stink? Oh my god, that's horrendous."
"It's sheep intestine," Jacob said, as if it were perfectly obvious. Mebuki grimaced again.
They got undressed. Carefully Jacob slipped on the sock, which was much too big and hung loosely on him, before tying it at the end with a red ribbon.
"Wait, why is it tied in a knot at the end?"
"Because it is sheep intestine."
He positioned himself between Mebuki's legs.
"Uh..." I'm gonna get a UTI, I'm gonna get a UTI, this thing was filled with sheep shit, I'm gonna get an infection, there's no antibiotics. "Let's take off the condom."
"Really?" There were hearts in Jacob's eyes as he leaned forward. "Honestly, truly? You don't want the condom?"
"Just fucking pull out before you come, I don't want to get pregnant!"
"I love you." He hugged her. The floppy piece of intestine brushed against her thigh.
"Oh my god, untie the fucking ribbon."
xXx
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This is what happened in the novel.
"Your Highness," Zachary said, as Bianca trembled against his chest. "You'll have to explain why my wife is so terrified."
Jacob grinned. There was a smear of blood on his cheek from when he had killed the bard, whose body still lay at his feet.
"All I did was deal with that bard who was harassing Bianca and that maid," Jacob said. "Of course," he added, and his eyes flicked upwards. "I hoped to score some points with Bianca as well."
"Please. Don't call me that." The two men looked as Bianca spoke against Zachary's chest, her teeth gritted as she clung to him. "The only people who can call me by my name are my family, the people I've given permission to do so."
"Hah." Jacob lowered his head, making a pained expression. "'Family,' huh? Like your father who forced you into a political marriage without a thought for your desires, or a husband you were paired up with and essentially sold to. A relationship where you're abandoned as soon as you're useless?" he clenched his hand into a shaking fist. "When disaster strikes, that superficial thing called family is the first thing to shatter, Bianca. You may love them. And you may share the same bloodline. But they are nothing in the end. That's 'family.'"
He laughed bitterly, his hand covering his eyes.
"I may not be your family, but if I seek to call you by your name, will you accept me, Bianca?"
The clouds drifted over the moon above them, covering Jacob in shadow. Bianca turned away from him, disgusted.
"Let's go, Zachary," Bianca said. "I'm exhausted."
They started to walk away from him. Jacob's jaw clenched. His eyes widened.
"I won't give you up, Bianca!" Jacob said. The couple kept walking away from him. Jacob shouted. "Never!" he said, as they kept walking. His hands clenched into fists.
"Bianca," he said again, and he was alone in the courtyard, standing in the darkness.
Why won't you love me back, Bianca?
xXx
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Mebuki opened her eyes. She was dreaming about the novel again.
Jacob was asleep. He breathed deeply and evenly, his face smooth and peaceful in his sleep. Quietly she brushed back a few errant strands of hair, letting her fingertips linger. He sighed and nuzzled her dreamily.
She never thought he would develop feelings for her. She felt bad for him reading the novel, but when she somehow ended up here, Mebuki thought at most they could at least strike up a sort of grudging friendship, a sibling-type bond where they could help each other. That he would fall so hard and so fast with just a bit of tenderness made her heart ache for him. He had no one else who truly cared for him.
She kissed his forehead, let her lips brush against the smooth skin of his brow, and held him.
xXx
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"Let me see your hands," Mebuki said, as she lay on top of Jacob. Jacob smiled and obliged, holding up his hand.
She pressed her palm against his, grinning giddily at the callouses. His hands were rough from wielding a sword, not like Gautier's, who was weak in body and only used a pen. His fingers were wide and blunt at the tips, the half-moons of his nails rough and bitten to the quick.
"Why do you train so much?" Mebuki said. "Are you expected to fight as a knight as the Second Prince?"
"Hmph. All the better to beat my brother with."
"Ha ha."
She palmed his clavicles. Though not as thick and wide as Zachary de Arno, Jacob's body was still lean and well-muscled, taut from riding and training with a sword.
"I can see your eyelashes," Mebuki said, looking closely at him. His lashes were long and blond and not visible unless standing close to him. Jacob smirked.
"Are you done staring at my body?"
"I was just thinking you're really pretty."
"Pretty?" Jacob made a face at her. "Handsome or rugged, maybe. But not 'pretty.'"
"You are pretty," Mebuki said. She leaned on top of him. "I'll have you know, I'm an aficionado of attractive men. You know they'd call you in my language an Ikemen."
"Ikemen?"
"Absolute hot, beautiful guy."
"What do they call a beautiful woman?"
"Bijin," Mebuki said.
Jacob's eyes were soft. "Well then you're a 'bijin.'"
"Dude, my face is your sister's right now. Let's hold off on the 'bijin.'"
"You showed me pictures," Jacob said, offended. "And you carry yourself differently than her. If you returned in your original body, I'm certain I can recognize you."
Mebuki rested her head on his chest. She felt his arm drape over her shoulder protectively.
"You never loved any of those other women you slept with?"
"No. They were all married. They were just physical relationships."
"Did any of them fall in love with you?"
"No. We never had those sorts of emotional entanglements."
"What about Bianca de Arno?" Mebuki asked.
Jacob shifted. "I have no feelings for Bianca de Arno," he said. "I swear." Mebuki sighed, taking his hand.
"I'm not worried about that." She laced her fingers between his. "I was just thinking about the things that happened in the novel. You latched onto her pretty hard even though she couldn't stand you."
"Probably because I saw myself when I looked at her." Jacob rested his head on the pillow. "She'd also been sold and discarded. I probably felt a kinship with her."
"That's kind of sad," Mebuki said, pressing against his sternum. He shifted her close, his lips brushing against her forehead.
"Why are you thinking of this?" he asked. His voice was soft. Mebuki nuzzled him.
"I dreamt of the stuff that happened in the novel again."
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "The things in that novel never came to pass. I have you to thank for that."
Mebuki smiled against his chest. "Yeah," she said. She felt Jacob smile and kiss her forehead again.