Blue fingers trace across indents in cold metal. The etchings form a rank and a name, written in a human language Liara T'Soni is unable to read without the assistance of her translator. She wants nothing more than to turn it off, to be unable to process the significance of the metal plate in her hands. To deny. To forget. Hanging the plaque means accepting. And she didn't want to do that.
But she must, mustn't she? She always knew this day would come. She knew that centuries of loneliness awaited her, one day. But why, oh why, did it have to come so soon?
This is what I get for defying fate.
She takes a step forward. And another, and another. Until she is within reach of the names of the dead. Liara places the plaque on the wall. Commander Shepard.
Again, she accepts that her love is dead. But unlike the last time, there is no chance of reviving her.
—
"NOOOO!"
A scream that could only be described as primal and blood-curdling echoes throughout the Normandy's main deck.
Liara weeps, kicking and screaming, while her squadmates pull her away from the window of the cockpit. An explosion, or a pulse… something deadly and dangerous erupts from the Citadel. Where Shepard is.
Joker pilots the Normandy away from the ever-encroaching orange light. Away from her.
Garrus tries to soothe her while they flee. She thinks he speaks to her, explanations of sort sort, begging her to try and understand. A part of her did. But that part is but an atom in her core, and the rest of her wails for them to rescue Shepard. Her throat bleeds from guttural cries.
Exhaustion overwhelms her quicker than it should. A sedative…? Her eyes flutter and close, and for many hours, there is nothing.
—
The Normandy lands on a lush, uninhabited planet a few light years from Sol. Plenty of fuel remains but the ship took damage upon the pulse's impact, rendering it incapable of flight without extensive repairs. Liara does not care to know any more.
The atmosphere is breathable and the gravity is tolerable and all of the parts needed for repairs are in storage. Without EDI they will take far longer than they should, but they will eventually complete. It is only a matter of weeks before the Normandy will fly again.
She and Joker examine the jungle before them. Once she might have found this place beautiful. Once she might have wondered if Prothean ruins dotted the landscape. Now she only feels empty. Part of her wants to commiserate with Joker, since he is the only one who could possibly understand a fraction of her pain. But it's too soon.
—
Tears stain the sheets of Liara's bed. Somehow her body is capable of producing more, despite her dehydration and general lack of care for her own well-being. She's barely slept or eaten since before London. She is unsure of how long it's even been… days? A week? Time has little meaning anymore.
You should eat, an intrusive voice pleads. For her.
This snaps Liara back to reality. She's been in a daze for so long she forgot the sensations of being alive. Hunger gnaws at her stomach and her head pounds. Suddenly she is aware of the noises of the ship — the beeping of her computers, the voices sounding in the mess, the cranking of metal on the decks below. Coolness of the air and the fabric of her sheets cause her skin to dance. Her eyes focus on the objects in her room rather than the images in her mind.
She exhales, stands, and departs for the mess.
Liara still can't look at the faces of the crew. Thankfully no one approaches her to offer words of sympathy. She is aware of palpable quiet. Once this might have been awkward, but for now, this is what she prefers. She quickly eats her rations and slakes her thirst, then returns to her quarters.
As soon as the door closes behind her she sobs again. She slides to the ground with her back pressed against the metal, unable to even make it to the comfort of her bed. The emotions overtake her once more. Grief, sorrow, anger. Guilt. Regret. Why did she do it? Why had she been so selfish? So desperate for Shepard to live on that she would claim a part of her no matter the cost?
In most of her recent sobbing fits, she mourned for Shepard and their lost future. Today, she weeps tears of regret.
The memory ravages her mind. Their final meld… she shared everything with Shepard. Her most private recollections and dreams, her body, her soul. Everything, but what she was about to do.
It hadn't been premeditated. However, once they were joined, the fear was unbearable. Knowing that this was the end, knowing that it was so unlikely Shepard would make it back… it was too much. Liara needed her; she needed proof of their love. Something to cling onto in the lonely years to come.
Shielding her actions had been the hardest part. She snagged bits of genetic data between kisses, copying and rearranging them during breaths. Shepard, poor Shepard, was clueless to her schemes.
Liara feels sick. She should have done it properly, or not at all.
It isn't too late. She still has many weeks to undo her mistake. Asari control their conceptions, meaning abortion is rare — but it is an option.
But ending her pregnancy means abandoning the last remnant of Shepard. She degraded and defiled their relationship, true. Yet she had extended it. She has more than just memories now.
Keeping it is the selfish thing to do. Childish. Maidenly. She should let go of their relationship and accept the truth that it is over. But that isn't in her nature. Shepard died once before and Liara went to the very edges of the galaxy to revive her.
Maybe it is time for her to learn her lesson.
—
There is one button on the Normandy's elevator that Liara never uses. Not anymore.
She almost collides with Samantha as she exits. "Oh! Liara," the human says. She wishes she wouldn't speak to her yet. No one else does. Not usually. "I was just on my way to feed the fish," she admits, then offers, "Would you care to join me?"
More memories. Of stolen kisses by the fish tank, of steamy private showers, of hours spent exploring on that bed. She couldn't go back there. Not yet. Maybe not ever. "No thank you." Her words are unintentionally curt. It takes all her strength not to collapse in tears in front of everyone.
Why is it so hard to just let go?
—
Repairs to the Normandy are taking longer than expected. Garrus explains the details, but they are irrelevant. They are not in any immediate danger of running low on rations, but Liara offers to forage the jungle for something edible anyway. Fresh air would be nice.
Garrus offers to accompany her.
"Aren't you needed here? Don't you have something to calibrate?"
He chuckles, yet insists to tag along. Fine. She would need help carrying back her harvest anyway.
They scour the jungle. Garrus chats idly with her while they work. His attempts to provide comfort go ignored but not unnoticed. Then, Liara finds a sprouting tree and picks an oddly shaped orange fruit from it, giving it a hearty sniff.
She regrets that. It smells foul. She coughs and sputters. Garrus laughs at her, picking a fruit for himself to examine. He seems unaffected by the scent. Perhaps it was dextro-compatible instead?
"Say, isn't this all beyond your area of expertise? Your doctorate is in archaeology, after all."
"I still took my share of biology classes while in university. Between the two of us, Dr. Chakwas and I can surely determine their edibility." Another waft of its scent engulfs her nostrils, twisting her stomach in knots. Although, even if it is edible, I'm not sure anyone will want to eat it.
"Too bad we don't have EDI to help out. Hell, or Mordin." His voice trails off, clearly regretting having mentioned the fallen squadmates.
The wretched fruit became too much to bear. "Excuse me," she breathes. She hands Garrus the source of her misery and turns around.
Liara gets as far away as she can before vomiting behind a tree. She prays Garrus does not notice, or at least if he does, that he doesn't approach with any more of that awful fruit. "That bad, huh?" he calls out from afar. "I think it's kind of pleasant, myself."
Suddenly, she panics. "Must be an asari thing," she calls back to him. "All these rations haven't been easy on my stomach, and —" Realizing that overexplaining herself is detrimental to subtlety, she ceases. She's running short on time. She spits and wipes her mouth, then returns to her friend, maintaining a hefty distance. "Garrus, how much longer do you think the repairs will take?"
He is surprised. Perhaps he mentioned it earlier when she wasn't listening. Or perhaps he is shocked to see her showing an interest in the topic which only previously resulted in her apathy. "A few days, maybe? No more than a week."
"Good. I'm ready to go back to Earth. Somewhere civilized."
"Glad to hear it." He gives her a gentle look, then tosses the fruit into the trees. "Now let's find something better to eat."
—
Liara stares at the name plaque on the wall of the dead and cannot help but cry.
She tries so hard to maintain her composure in the presence of others. Whether they be dear friends or crewmen she only recognized. But right now, it is impossible to halt the floodgates of tears. She had done so well, only to falter right as the deed was done. Shepard is really gone.
But just how gone is she?
Her friends utter quiet condolences and offer gentle touches. She barely notices Joker fleeing the crowd, no doubt sneaking away to mourn the loss of his own partner. Liara resolves to make it up to him. She has been cold for far too long.
She wipes her eyes dry and thanks her friends. She realizes has been behaving brutishly. They were only trying to help. Perhaps… she should let them in. Let them help her. Starting with Joker.
Liara excuses herself and goes to the cockpit. Joker is there, beginning his pre-flight checks. If he notices her, he ignores her. She searches her brain for the right words to say.
"Takeoff is in thirty," he says eventually, tired of her hovering. His voice is raspy and stiff. She catches a glimpse of his face and her heart falls when she notices his red eyes.
"Joker…" What could she even say? How could she begin to apologize? "I'm sorry about EDI," she finally sighs.
He looks into her eyes, lips quivering, and nods. He turns back around. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry about Shepard, too."
She can find no more words to say. For now, her sympathies would have to be enough. She places a hand upon his shoulder and squeezes it tight.
—
"Sol."
The Normandy slows from FTL as they enter the system. The mass relay floats before them.
"Woah, look at that," Joker says. Small ships hover around the relay. Masses of drones dot its surface. They seem to be repair crews. They suspected the relay had failed in the blast, and the sight before them confirms it. Just what had Shepard done? She not only destroyed the Reapers, but the mass relays, the extranet… Could this be the case for the entire galaxy?
Leaving Sol is clearly not an option until the repairs to the mass relay are complete. At least they have somewhere to go.
It is not long before they approach Earth. Hesitance to be back grips Liara. All she knows of Earth is war-torn, ravaged London. All her memories here are Shepard's final hours. She does not know how she will bear it.
She spots something as the planet comes into view. "The Citadel," she breathes. It looks damaged and battered, but it still holds its form. It is still intact. An unwarranted hope flutters in her chest. If the Citadel hadn't exploded like they thought, could it be possible…? No. This thought will only lead to disappointment.
"Alliance Control, this is SSV Normandy requesting permission to land."
After a moment, a voice buzzes throughout the cockpit. The voice sounds surprised. "Stand by for clearance, Normandy." They await a reply for many long minutes. "Clearance granted. You may begin your approach. Transferring you to Admiral Hackett."
"Uh, roger. Normandy out."
It is good to hear that Admiral Hackett is alive, and that he wants to speak with them. It's… promising. If the Citadel is functional, and the leaders of the Alliance are unscathed… couldn't that mean Shepard is alive as well?
The mellow baritone of Admiral Hackett greets them shortly. "Normandy. I'm glad to hear you're all alive."
Before Liara could blurt out the question which makes her heart pound, Joker asked, "We got stranded not too far away, no extranet, no relay, nothing. What exactly happened here?"
"I don't know how, but you did it. All the Reapers are dead. Hell, all the geth too. Whatever that pulse from the Crucible was, it wiped out all synthetics. Along with the mass relays and the extranet."
Including Legion, EDI… Liara thinks. She sees Joker think it, too, but he does not share his grief with the Admiral. "Across the entire galaxy?"
"That's what we theorize. It's a hell of a loss, but we'll bounce back. It could take months, it could take years… but we'll recover."
"Admiral," Liara pries. She is not Alliance, she should not be communicating now, but she must know. She must confirm her hope or fears, no matter how terrible the truth.
"Dr. T'Soni. I'm glad you made it out okay."
"Thank you. When we arrived, the Citadel —" Garrus touches her back softly and sighs. "What I mean to say is, it doesn't appear too damaged."
There is a palpable pause. Her stomach sinks. "It went through quite a beating, but we haven't lost it for good."
She inhales, mustering the courage to speak again. "Have… there been search parties, or rescue missions, or, anything to imply that —"
"Well, that's why I wanted to call…"
Ahead of the news, Liara cupped a hand to her mouth, ready to catch her cry. She stiffens, bracing herself for the truth. Just as her heart threatens to beat out of her chest hard enough to cause her to faint, he replies.
"Commander Shepard is alive."
—
Liara catches a glimpse of her reflection in the window of the hospital atrium. She looks thin from weeks of eating rations and exhausted from too many sleepless nights. Would Shepard still find her attractive like this? At least she is sightlier than the ravaged pile of rubble and Reaper remnants behind her.
"You look beautiful," Garrus compliments after noticing the asari judge herself. "I bet you look a hell of a lot better than Shepard does right now."
That is probably true. It had taken days for Shepard's comatose body to be recovered, buried under debris on the Citadel. Oxygen deprivation, blood loss, broken ribs, punctured organs… her survival was nothing short of a miracle. Liara has always been a skeptic, an academic, yet she offered more than a few thankful prayers to the goddess. Shepard only awoke a week ago. It had been a lengthy coma, but nothing compared to a two-year resurrection.
"Go on," Garrus encourages. "We'll give you two some time."
She walks down the hall and finds the correct room. The door to the private medical suite is closed. She pauses before entering.
Why is she so hesitant? So nervous? Somehow, Shepard defied the odds and came back to her again. She should be happy, and she is, impossibly so, but…
She opens the door and her trepidations melt. There she is, her Shepard, before her! She dared not dream she would see that face again, yet here she is. Looking a little worse for wear, certainly, but it is an improvement upon the corpse she recovered.
Tears stream down her blue cheeks so fiercely she almost can't see. With what little vision remains, she fumbles to Shepard and wraps her love in a tight embrace, careful not to disturb any medical wires or devices. Liara sobs into her shoulder, tears dampening the pillow below.
"Liara," Shepard greets. Her voice is raspy, yet still so strong.
She pulls back and places her hands upon Shepard's cheeks. Despite her smile, the tears don't stop. "I'm sorry. I wanted to bring you flowers, but I couldn't find any —"
"Don't sweat it." Shepard interrupts by pulling her into a kiss.
It is long and deep and intimate. Their lips and tongues seem to converse with each other, speaking words they dare not share aloud. As they kiss, Shepard pulls her close by placing a hand on her lower back. Somehow, that touch drives her wild. It is not a suggestive area by any means, so why does she feel so aroused? She starts to kiss harder and faster, then remembers where she is and why they are here. To control herself, she unlocks their lips.
They gaze into each other's eyes for a few moments after they pull away. Those sparkling emerald irises she thought she would never see again. In unison, they say, "I thought you died."
The thought of Shepard sharing her fears comforts her. She hates to think that Shepard experienced the same agony, the same grief, even if it was only for a week. But she finds some selfish solace in the fact that she did not mourn in isolation. "No. I'm right here," Liara coos.
Shepard stiffly shifts in the hospital bed, so Liara moves from her perch beside her to sit in the nearby chair. As she stands, a violent wave of nausea hits her. Not now… She breathes for a few heartbeats to try to settle her stomach, to no avail. Her eyes dart around until she finds a door which hopefully leads to a bathroom. She dashes across the hospital room and retches pathetically into the toilet.
"Liara? Are you alright?" Shepard calls, a twinge of worry in her tone. She hears her stir and struggle.
"I'm okay!" She feigns wellness although the nausea still haunts her. "Don't come in," she added when Shepard's stirring did not cease.
She had almost forgotten.
Liara rests her forehead on the cool toilet seat and sighs. How is she going to tell Shepard? She will be furious with her. They had traded remarks about little blue children in the future, but they hadn't had a proper conversation about this. They hadn't agreed on this. The mass relays are down, the galaxy is in disarray… it isn't the right time.
It's not the right time.
After a few guilty moments, she rinses her mouth in the sink and returns to the hospital room. "Sorry about that," she says coolly. "I ate some bad sushi, it seems." She hopes her lie would convince Shepard. Sushi is the human food one must never buy from a grocery store, or is it ramen? Regardless, if she is to appear normal she must not over-explain.
Should she just be honest with Shepard? She will have to tell her eventually. Unless…
She could terminate now and Shepard would never have to know. They could try again some other time, the right way, and in a few years, this will be nothing but an unpleasant memory.
It feels duplicitous, the thought of deceiving Shepard yet again to spare herself from the consequences of her mistakes. She starts to confess, but the words halt in her throat. Maybe it would be best if this remained a secret.
Liara presses a chaste kiss upon Shepard's cheek. "The others will want to see you now. I'll go get them. I'm going to fetch something for my stomach, but I'll be back later, alright?"
The injured Commander lovingly strokes her hand. "See you soon."
She gathers her crewmates in the lobby and sends them to Shepard. They are surprised to see her so soon, but none but Garrus seem to suspect anything is out of the ordinary. When she is certain that they are gone, she advances to the reception desk.
"I need to see a doctor. An asari, preferably."
The human receptionist gives her a suspicious look. Of course. This is an Alliance military hospital, and she does not appear to have any wartime wounds.
"It's a… biotic thing," she lies weakly. "I served on the Normandy."
He perks up at the name. "I'll schedule you in right away."
Surprisingly, it does not take long for her to be seen. Perhaps it is due to her asari physiology, or maybe her service record. Liara straightens herself on the examination table as an asari matron walks through the door.
"What seems to be the problem, Miss T'Soni?" She scans the paperwork before her. The pulse must have affected the hospital's database, for them to have swapped to primitive paper. "The intake form says 'biotics'?" She chews the word scornfully, as if the receptionist's misunderstanding of asari anatomy offends her personally.
"Doctor, actually. Not medical. Obviously."
"At your age?" She sounds impressed.
Liara nods. Other maidens dance in clubs or become mercenaries, yet she has a doctoral degree and a child on the way. "My biotics are fine," she says as the doctor begins to check her vitals on her omn-itool.
"Then what's the issue?"
She takes a brave breath and finally speaks the dreaded words aloud. "I'm pregnant, and I'd like not to be."
A tense silence envelops the room as the doctor considers her words. Perhaps she should have seen a human instead. They were certainly more used to these requests, and would not understand the cultural implications of this. A human could conceive a child by accident. Not an asari. "Change of heart?" she prods.
Annoyance heats Liara's face and crest. Isn't it unprofessional to ask? "It's complicated," she grunts.
"What isn't nowadays?" The doctor writes a note in her file then scans Liara's torso with her omni-tool. "Well, you're not too far along. But you don't have a plethora of options, I'm afraid. If we were on Thessia I could write you a prescription and send you on your way. But I'd be shocked to find the medication anywhere on the planet, and with the relays down…" She trails off. "I can schedule you for surgery as early as next week."
"So soon." Her heartbeat quickens and her nausea returns. Liara had been thinking this over for weeks, so why are misgivings plaguing her now?
The doctor drones on about the procedure and what she might expect, but Liara does not hear a word of it. She feels so queasy and nauseated and her head spins in dizziness. Why do all of her options seem wrong? This is the right choice, she reminds herself. I made a mistake and now I have to make it right.
"Hello? Did you hear what I said?"
Liara comes back to the present. "Oh. I'm sorry. Would you mind repeating?"
"When are you available to come in next week?"
She does not answer. The word cannot slide off her tongue. All she has to say is one. Anytime. But she can't.
The doctor sighs. "Look, it's not my place to ask, but… Have you talked to the father?"
Liara shakes her head. Of course! As shameful as the thought of telling Shepard the truth is, it was the only path she could think of that did not fill her with dread. "No. Not yet."
"Well, talk it over," she encourages. "And call me once you've made up your mind."
She stands, wiping an uninvited tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. "Thank you, doctor. I will."
—
"By the Goddess, Shepard."
Liara groans into her lover's mouth. They are in the midst of passion; although she sits in Shepard's lap with chests pressed against each other, somehow they are not close enough. She rides the strong, masterful fingers with ever-quickening rolls of her hips.
She isn't quite sure how they got here, exactly. They are supposed to be talking right now, having a difficult, raw conversation. How had it gone awry so suddenly?
The hospital discharged Shepard this afternoon. Too soon, Liara thought. They must need the space. There will be plenty of appointments and physical therapy, of course, but for now, Shepard is free.
Lacking a proper home on the war-torn planet, they return to the Normandy. Shepard hits the button on the elevator, the one Liara has avoided for so long. The Commander pulls her in for a kiss as the door closes and they do not stop until long after it opens. It is an innocent kiss, but the heat of Shepard's breath makes Liara's nethers quake.
Arousal overwhelms her. Without thinking, she blasts Shepard against the wall of the fish tank with her biotics and smothers her with sensual kisses while touching every inch of her lover's body. Blue light bathes them, painting Shepard's skin to an almost asari-like hue. Three years ago, she never would have believed she would find herself in a position so… compromising. But she isn't a shy, virginal maiden any more.
"Well, someone's horny," Shepard teases, growling eagerly in response to her touches. She could be so vulgar sometimes. Liara gives her a reprimanding look while sinking to the ground and yanks at Shepard's sweatpants.
The Commander's fingers lovingly caress her crest while Liara begins to flit her tongue about hungrily. It is not long before Shepard strips her remaining clothing between licks. Liara cannot get enough of her taste. Each flick of her tongue is greedier than the last. But she is not there long before Shepard guides her up and rips her clothing off.
She spins her around and places desperate kisses across Liara's back while tugging at her hips so their skin could meet. Then, Shepard grabs her close and pulls her to the bed. Before long she is inside her, causing Liara to groan so loud she almost screams. She is so wet she drips onto Shepard's hand and thighs.
There they stay, rhythmically grinding and thrusting, until Liara's moment of clarity. What is she doing, what was she thinking? This isn't fair for Shepard, for them to be fucking while important words remain unsaid. Mustering her courage, she says, "Shepard. There's something I need to tell —" A vigorous thrust at just the right angle silences her.
"Mmm?" Shepard responds. She is clearly distracted, just as overtaken with lust as Liara.
"Yes," Liara breathes. "You see —" she cuts herself off with a lengthy moan when Shepard increases her pace, having found her place of weakness. She surrenders, "Maybe later."
At one point, Shepard grabs her face with her free hand and gives her a familiar, wanting look. Liara shakes her head. They do not always meld when they make love, but its absence is rare and usually indicates that they are engaged in a quick, naughty session in a place they should not be. She longs to join with her lover, but she knows that she cannot keep her secret a second time. She voices her excuse in as teasing and nonchalant a tone as she can make. "I want to make love like the humans do tonight. When on Earth…"
Shepard seems to accept her reasoning, or else is too wanton to care.
They continue their romp, edging ever nearer to completion. When she is close, Liara tangles her hands in Shepard's hair and grips tight. She explodes with pleasure, letting loose a scream she could not stop even if she wishes to. They pant together, Shepard smiling in satisfaction.
For a few moments, Liara bathes in the afterglow. Then the guilt comes, budding in her chest like a cancer until it permeates every inch of her. Disgusted with herself, she cannot get off of Shepard fast enough. She flops on the bed, puts her hands to her face, and sighs.
"Shepard, I have a confession to make," she blurts.
She does not remove her hands from her face yet, yet given the pause, she knows Shepard must be taken aback. "Oh." She continues, "You didn't hook up with Javik when you thought I was dead, did you?" Always trying to lighten the mood, her Commander.
Liara, however, is not amused. "No, Shepard." She takes a deep breath and lowers her hands so that she can look at her partner. Where to even begin? "The last time we melded, in London during the final battle, I thought you were going to… and I was so afraid of losing you, of being left alone with nothing but memories. I didn't plan it or mean to trick you, I just wasn't thinking straight. I —" Shameful tears well in her eyes.
Shepard reaches out, her expression unreadable. "Liara…"
"I'm pregnant, Shepard."
The confession causes her to sob, yet also unlocks a heavy chain around her soul. She feels relieved, in a way. Now that the truth is out, she can finally do what must be done and move on without the weight of crushing secrecy.
"Oh." There is no discernible answer to what Shepard seems to be feeling. Confusion, anger, pain? Liara doesn't know.
"I'm sorry, Shepard," she continues. "I shouldn't have done it. And I'll make it right. I just… needed you to know, before." The shock dies down, revealing Shepard's feelings. They are not unexpected, yet they cause Liara to ache even more. "I know you're angry with me. You have every right to be. I want to make it up to you, however I can." She stands and goes to fetch her omni-tool. "Starting with scheduling this appointment."
"Liara," Shepard says. She comes to her and grabs her hand. "I'm angry you didn't talk to me about this," she explains. "I'm not angry you're pregnant."
She stops what she is doing, dumbfounded. "You're…not?"
"No." Shepard carefully reaches out to Liara's midsection, cradling it. An action Liara herself had been too afraid to do, lest she get attached. "I must admit though, given what I've got, I never thought I'd knock a girl up." This makes Liara laugh, and Shepard pulls her into a tight embrace. "What do you want to do?"
That is a question she never exactly considered. Her musings on the matter were always shoulds, never wants. Clearly she once wanted to bear Shepard's child, but that was when she thought Shepard was going to die. "I… don't know," she admits. "What do you —"
Shepard shakes her head. "It's your choice, Liara."
Her choice.
She returns to the bed and sits, lost in thought. "It's the wrong time," she mutters.
"Is it?" Shepard challenges. "The Reapers are gone and with the extranet down you won't have your nose buried in Shadow Broker business."
Liara hadn't considered it like that. It's been years since her life was so peaceful. "I thought this was my choice?" she retorts.
"It is," Shepard admits. "But you need to make this decision based on what you want. Not what you think is right or smart or wise." Shepard comes and sits beside her, placing a warm hand on her knee. "So, Dr. T'soni," she whispers the name teasingly while caressing her cheek. "Do you want to have this baby with me?"
Does she? Shepard seems to want to. No, she scolds herself. It's not about what Shepard wants. What do I want?
There hadn't been much time, or hope, to really envision their future together before. She closes her eyes and allows herself to imagine those dreams she repressed. She resides in a swanky apartment, having passed her Shadow Broker mantle on to Feron, and finally writes that book. She only has to use her pistol on rare occasions; her future cannot be completely devoid of excitement. But for the most part, she is at peace.
Shepard is there, of course. How could she not be? And… they are not alone.
Liara does want to be a mother. She wants to give her child — or children — the life she never knew. A life with their father. A relationship with their mother that doesn't end in tragedy. A simple existence of peace without the threat of war.
The question is when. Shepard made a fair point. Their lives will probably never be this boring again. With that perspective, the timing seems… perfect.
All that remains, is can she live with herself knowing how it all began?
Again she sobs, sinking her head into Shepard's shoulder. "I… do," she admits between wails. Her bondmate rocks her while she cries. "I just feel so guilty. I wanted to do this right…"
"Well then," Shepard soothes. "Let's pretend none of this ever happened right now. Just pretend with me for a moment." She gazes at her intensely. "How would you do it right?"
Liara lets out an uncomfortable chuckle and wipes her cheeks. She can't possibly be serious. But her eyes do not waver. "Well then," the asari begins, mirroring her phrase, a twinge of awkwardness from the silliness of it marring those words. "I suppose I would hold you close," she puts a hand on Shepard's face, "look you in the eyes," she does so, "and ask…" Liara pauses, so impossibly nervous, before finally uttering the question. "Do you want to have a baby with me?"
Her heart pounds as she waits for her love's response.
Shepard sinks to the floor, sitting on her knees in front of Liara. She holds her hands and finally speaks. "Then I would say," she cracks a toothy grin, "If I get you pregnant, I want to marry you."
Marriage? The thought makes her heart cease its rhythmic pounding and palpitate haphazardly instead. Asari don't often marry, yet she knows for humans it is often the ultimate expression of love. This couldn't possibly be what Shepard truly wants; she just feels obligated due to the situation. "You didn't answer my question," Liara deflects breathily.
"You didn't answer mine."
"You didn't ask it."
Shepard shifts to one knee, a human tradition, she remembers. "Liara T'Soni, will you marry me?"
"Is this —" Liara chokes, hanging her head in shame. "Is this what you want? Is this your choice and yours alone, not influenced by my stupid actions?"
"This is what I want," she breathes. "More than anything."
More tears. This time, they are joyful. "Then… yes. I will marry you, Shepard."
"Good." Shepard leans in for a kiss, so sweet and gentle. When their lips part, she continues, "After you accept my romantic and not-at-all spur-of-the-moment proposal, I would say," she caresses Liara's still-flat belly, "I do want to have a baby with you."
Liara kisses Shepard again, her tears still flowing and a smile parting her lips. Maybe… they can move past her mistake.
"Then what?" Shepard asks between kisses.
"Hmm?"
"Then what would you do?"
She smiles coyly, having thought their little roleplay over. "Then I would take you to bed." She lifts Shepard and pins her on the mattress.
"And?" she prompts while stroking Liara's nude breast. Her arousal returns, fiercer than ever.
"And then I would ravish you."
They begin their lovemaking again. The act is passionate, intimate, intense. Liara wishes she could go slower, be more careful and romantic, but she is just so… horny, as Shepard would say. But Shepard doesn't seem to mind.
As they draw closer, Liara plants a wet kiss upon her bondmate's lips. "Are you ready, Shepard?" she whispers teasingly.
An eager nod. "Mmm-hmm. Yeah."
Liara smiles, grabbing Shepard's jaw in a rare act of dominance. "Then…" Her eyes blacken. "Embrace eternity!"
This time, it's not a farewell. There is no secret act to hide. Liara shares everything, and everything is shared with her in return. She feels her own touches on Shepard's body, driving her mad with lust.
This is when I'd extract your DNA, she thinks. Except… She knows she doesn't need to continue.
Let's just pretend again, Shepard replies.
And they lose themselves in the moment.
They finish together, as they so often do, then tangle their limbs while they bask in the pleasant hormonal release. Liara disconnects their link, nuzzling her head into her lover's chest. "I love you, Shepard. Thank you."
"I love you too, Liara."
Liara smiles. She is finally assured that everything will be alright. "I still plan on making this up to you, you know."
"Good. I can think of a few ways…" And Shepard pulls her in for another kiss.
—
Weeks ago, Liara T'Soni made a mistake.
It was stupid and selfish and wrong. But it would be alright.
For after years of galactic death and destruction, there will finally be new life.
"Wake up, Shepard." Liara lovingly prods her bondmate out of her slumber. "We have an announcement to make."