Eight months or two hundred and fifty days to be precise.
The very first line in this story has lived rent free in my head since the moment I saw it on screen.
Notes:
(See the end of the work for notes.)
Work Text:
"For christs sake Steve" She spat "Are you serious?" She whispered feeling her heart break.
He couldn't have hurt her any more had he slapped her
"Kate. Take a seat"
"I'm done Sir, I've put up with his bullshit too long, I've had enough. You're a fucking moron" She looked at him eyes full of tears as she walked out She could hear Hastings berating him as she walked away. She couldn't stay in the office.
A few days later they were both in the office.
"I'm taking Chloe out with me, Gaffer."
"Lass?"
"I no longer have a partner" She could see Steve out the corner of her eye looking sad "Someone is a massive cunt"
"Boss!" Chloe was outraged
"What? It's true" She shrugged "Come on. Work to do, I'll drive"
"Can I ask what happened between you and DS Arnott boss? Only if you want to talk about it" Chloe broke the silence in the car
"He let his dick make the decisions rather than remember he had his perfect woman waiting at home for him"
"Are you serious? What a fucking twat"
"Twat is not the word I'd use Chloe" She laughed "Can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for his lies. You think you'd be safe trusting someone you've known for ten years"
"We all believed him too boss"
"How did it go?" Hastings stood in the doorway watching as they returned to the office
"We got a really good result actually. Chloe is bloody brilliant. She got information that I couldn't. I made the tea" She shrugged
"You seem to make a good team" Hastings said softly
"Yeah we do" She sighed "Miss my original partner though" She said quietly looking at Steve
"You two clearly can't get on any more so one of you is going to have to transfer." Hastings dragged them both into his office after yet another day of listening to Kate sniping at Steve
"I'll go Sir"
"Kate" Hastings warned "It shouldn't be you"
"No it bloody shouldn't but whose going to take him on? Most people think he's a fucking twat" She rolled her eyes "I've got the better service record. I'm pretty sure you're the only one that will put up with his bullshit… Sir"
"This is not fair on you lass"
"Life isn't fair Sir. Just sorry it's come to this" She said quietly looking at Steve. "Violent Crime has space as does Organised Crime and MIT, Chris Lomax is running MIT"
"Lomax!" She squealed as he lifted her up and spun her around "Put me down"
"Where is he then the dickhead?"
"Don't be a prick Lomax. He's really not worth a single moment of either of our time"
"Why the fuck are you still protecting him after what he did to you"
"I'm not, I'm stopping you ruining your career over someone insignificant"
"Seriously?" He frowned at her
"Not worth it" She shook her head, aware he was standing in the doorway of the kitchen "Have you got a contract for me?"
"Indeed. A very generous offer, working underneath me and DSU Carmichael"
"Oooh Carmichael seals the deal" She laughed "Where do I sign?"
"Chloe, Maneet. A word please"
"Boss?"
"In here" She shut the door behind them
"Look, I know what you're doing and I'm so grateful but please please ease off on Steve, you're going to have to work with him when I leave"
"He should be suffering for a long time for what he did to you Kate"
She sighed as she looked at them
"You still love him" Maneet voiced quietly
"Yeah" She nodded slowly "I'm never going to stop" She looked through the blinds at him sat at his desk "Just…. Just look after him for me"
"I'm having leaving drinks tomorrow. You're welcome to come if you want." She stopped by Steve's desk, feeling her heart squeeze as he met her eyes "No bother if not" She blinked hard trying to clear the tears that sprung up unbidden as he nodded
"I'm sorry" He whispered
"Too late now" She shrugged turning away before he could see the tear that fell.
She stopped to look round the office as she signed out for the last time, she thought about all the arguments they had had, the time Dot shot his way out of the building after getting Steve locked up for a murder he didn't commit and all the successful investigations they had completed. Every single one of them with Steve by her side. She was going to miss Anti Corruption.
"I'm sorry Sir, sorry for everything"
"Somehow lass, I don't think you have anything to apologise for"
"I do, my behaviour and attitude has been absolutely vile over the last couple of weeks"
"It's all forgotten. You are going to be so missed Kate" Hastings pulled her into a hug
"Don't let him get himself killed" Hastings nodded as he let her go
"What are we going to do without you boss? We're going to fucking miss you Kate"
"I'm sorry Chloe" She bit her lip to give herself time to think "You're going to be fine. Work hard. Steve is still your senior officer, remember that. Stay in touch yeah" She hugged Chloe tightly
"Thank you. For being there for me. I am so very grateful Maneet. I'm gonna miss you. Keep sending me photos of those kids of yours" She pulled Maneet into a hug "Don't let Steve do something stupid"
"You've got to let him go Kate. He showed no thought for you, don't waste any more time on him. Go and fly in MIT, we expect to see you co running the unit DCI Fleming"
She smiled "Thanks Maneet. Right, I'm out of here before I start ugly crying. Be good guys"
"Look after yourself Steve. Don't do anything stupid. I don't want to see on the news that you've let some mad man kill you"
"Kate"
She shook her head as tears flowed "You broke my heart"
"Kate! Come from away from him, he's nothing to you now" Lomax boomed as he strode towards her
"He was my partner for 10 years. It's not that easy Chris"
"Forget him. He's nothing but dirt on your shoe Kate"
"Stop! I loved him and he broke my fucking heart. Happy now?!" She spat, tears streaming down her face as she fled from from the pub
"And that is why you don't get involved with people from work"
"Shut up Lomax" Chloe snarled
"Where's Steve?"
"Uh, he's in the hospital lass. He didn't want you to know."
"What?! Is he okay?"
"He was shot a couple of weeks ago. He was very specific about not telling you. Kate!" Hastings shout echoed after her as she ran down the stairs
Trish and Tom looked up in surprise as she crashed through the doors into the ward
"Kate? What are you doing here?"
"I just found out, how is he?"
"You've only just found out?"
"The little shit told us you were undercover" Tom growled "Thought it was weird you hadn't been in touch"
"I guess he hasn't told you that we stopped working together months ago, we haven't spoken in eight months, I left AC12 because of him." She laughed humourlessly
"What?! Lying git"
"What happened?" Trish spoke
"Long story short, he slept with some one else and broke my heart"
"Oh Kate, I'm so sorry"
"Please don't apologise for him, he's a grown man apparently"
"I'm ashamed of his behaviour, thought we'd raised him better than that"
"And yet you're still here"
"Too stupid for my own good I guess"
"Kate?" She heard him call out uncertainly
She looked at his parents who ushered her towards the curtains
"Who else is it going to be?" She opened the curtains to see him laid in bed attached to dozens of machines
"You weren't supposed to know" He said softly
"Too bad, Hastings thought I should. Actually, he didn't have any choice, as soon as I walked into the office my first question was about you" She sat down "I think I dropped you in it with your parents, I would say I was sorry but I think you probably deserve the bollocking your mum is going to give you"
He smiled sadly
"I shouldn't even be here. We haven't spoken in eight months. We're nothing to each other anymore. Don't know why I came" She stood up and stepped closer to him before changing her mind and stepping away
"Wait" He called softly stretching out his hand towards her
"Get better soon yeah? Despite everything that's happened with us, I don't actually want you hurt"
"Kate please…"
"I can't. Still hurts too much, I'm sorry" She shook her head
"I don't really believe in fairy tales but I really thought we were meant to be together you know" She shrugged
"I'm sorry our son is a dick Kate. You two are meant to be together"
"I guess I learnt that you can't really trust anyone no matter how long you've known them" She smiled sadly
"Except you still love him"
"Of course I do, that's why I'm here even though it hurts. We might not be friends any more but I don't wish to see him hurt"
"I don't understand how or why he did that to you"
"Me neither. But he did. He let his genitals do the thinking and almost destroyed me, shattered my heart. I had to leave, I couldn't look at him, it hurt too much to be near him"
"But you're here"
"I'm obviously a glutton for punishment. As soon as I heard I had to find out if he was okay, I needed to see him even though it still hurts to look at him. How stupid is that?"
"You're too good for him Kate. I'm ashamed at the way he's treated you"
"He's a grown man, he made the decision. Please don't blame yourself." She shook her head "This will make you laugh in a twisted way, two days before he told me I was his 'perfect woman' then he slept with someone else"
"That's disgusting. We're so sorry Kate"
"I'm over it. Over him"
"Something tells us you're not, otherwise you wouldn't be here" Tom said gently
"Can I sit with him for a bit? Would you mind?" Kate asked softly
"We would love you to, if you feel up to it, he's asleep at the moment"
"Probably best that he is, might end up saying something else I regret"
"We could do with taking a break to be honest, get something to eat"
"Of course. I promise not to stab him or anything" She quipped "I'm saving that for when he gets out of hospital" She added with a smile
"Thanks Kate. I'm sorry our son is a moron" She accepted the hug offered by both Trish and Tom before they left. She really did adore his parents.
She sat back down and took his hand, looking at him, he'd aged in the months she'd been away, he looked tired, probably from being shot, thankfully he was still asleep, she wouldn't stay long, she'd be gone before he woke up
"Sam?" He stirred in his sleep
"Nah, it's me, sorry to disappoint you mate"
"Kate?"
"Yeah" She spoke softly "Don't worry, I'm going" She made to stand up but was stopped by him squeezing her hand as he opened his eyes
"I'm sorry" He whispered "I'm so so sorry"
"Never mind mate, you need to concentrate on getting better. Beard needs a trim though" She touched his face gently as he leaned into her hand closing his eyes at the contact
"Why are you here?"
"It's been a long eight months mate"
"Not what I asked Kate"
"I… I'm not sure" She admitted quietly
"There must be a reason, I mean, you're still stroking my beard for a start" He smirked as she snatched her hand away like she'd been burnt "You can carry on if you want, it's nice" He whispered
"I know you find it soothing, I remember. Felt right to do it"
"To be honest I feel better for seeing you Kate"
"I'm just glad you're going to be okay"
"I didn't tell you or want you told because I couldn't deal with the fact that you'd know I'd been injured and not come and visit. I didn't want to deal with the crushing disappointment knowing you weren't coming"
"Yet here I am anyway"
"Thank you" He whispered
"We were friends once Steve" She looked at him "The new Top Gun movie is out soon, do you fancy going to see it?"
"With you?"
"No with the bogeyman, of course with me. Look I'm trying to give you an olive branch here"
"Yes please"
She smiled as she looked at him, biting her lip "I don't know how you feel but I think I'm ready to start forgiving you, I'm never going to forget what you did but I think I can forgive you"
"Seriously? You're going to give me another chance?"
"I don't think we can ever get back together, not sure I'll ever be able to trust you again but I'm willing to try and forgive you. I want my friend back"
"I don't deserve you"
"No, you really don't" She linked their fingers together "You're a dick"
"I know" He said sadly "I don't blame you for the way you reacted you know"
"You've disappointed me before with your behaviour but this was a whole other level of hurt. I don't know if you remember but two days before you told me I was your perfect woman and then you go and sleep with someone else. I felt like I was back at school and the bullies were making a humiliating joke at my expense. That's how I felt, humiliated and hurt, discarded like trash. I couldn't even brush it off because everyone knew how fucking in love with you I was" She paused "I hated you so much for a long time. I missed you yet I never wanted to see you again, ever. It's always the women that come off worst when they get involved with a coworker and now I was one of them." She stopped as her phone rang "Sorry, it's Lomax, I need to get this"
"It's fine, put it on loud speaker."
"He's going to insult you once he finds out where I am"
"It's the least I deserve"
"Fleming"
"Where the fuck are you Kate? You've been out of contact most of the day"
"I told you this morning I was visiting AC12"
"Why?"
"The Morgan case has a historical link to the Tony Gates case. I worked extensively on it with Steve"
"Is that where you are now? At the bedside of that little twat?"
"Yes. You need to stop calling him that, he's a fellow serving officer and a colleague"
"He's also your ex lover Kate"
"And? He was my friend first" She squeezed his hand
"Are you serious right now? You know what he did to you, he's the reason you left in the first place"
"So what? I'm a fucking idiot" She shrugged even though Chris couldn't see her
"So, what did AC say about the link in the cases"
"Dunno, didn't get the chance to find out"
"Of course, your first fucking question will have been 'where's Steve?'" He mocked
"You know what, it actually was and I'm not ashamed of it. You can mock me all you like Guv I don't care" She looked at Steve
"Did you actually get any work done today?"
"Actually yes, all my reports are up to date. I called in some favours with AC and have completed all the preliminary reports on the Morgan case. I'll be back in the office on Wednesday"
"What? You went over my head…." She smiled as she hung up on him "It's not worth the hassle"
"Wednesday…. Are you planning to stay around?" Steve asked hopefully
"Yeah if you want me to" She nodded
"Yes"
"Okay then." She smiled "I'd give you a hug but, you know, machines" She shrugged
"Oh" He looked sad for a moment "How about if I shuffle over a bit?" He spoke quietly as if speaking too loudly would make her disappear
"Budge up then" She settled on the bed next to him and slipped an arm round him as he rested his head on her shoulder. She linked her fingers with his that were currently resting in her lap.
"Don't think you're forgiven because you're not. Not by a long shot. I just need you in my life. No clichéd crap, just you and me talking, like adults" She kissed his hair "Why the fuck do I still love you" She sighed. "I don't understand why you did it Steve, not when you'd professed to love me"
"I don't know. I just know I regretted it the minute it happened"
"Was it an ego thing? Was I not enough of an ego boost?"
"Yes. She flattered me so much I got caught up in it and didn't say no. I'm so sorry Kate. I can't understand why you're actually talking to me again, let alone sat here with me"
"Because I fucking love you, you stupid dickhead. Against my better judgement I still love you even through the pain you've caused me and I want my friend back"
"Didn't take long" Trish commented when they arrived the next morning and saw Kate curled up on the bed with her arms round Steve.
"They've been like it all night. Is she his girlfriend?" A nurse asked as she came past
"She used to be and I think she will be again"
"Are you two awake?" Trish spoke softly as she approached the bed
"Yeah. We haven't made up you know"
"Sure. Looks like you still hate each other" Tom laughed
"Okay, okay. We're talking things through, I still hate him"
"Enough that you've stayed the night though"
"The nurse says you've had the quietest night since you've been in here Steve" Trish changed the subject
"I'll be back in a bit, need to stretch my legs"
"Wait.." Steve whispered
"I won't be long mate, you know my morning routine" She kissed his cheek as she got up and left the room
"Did you sleep well?"
"Best sleep for a while"
"Because of Kate. How could you treat her like that son?"
"I don't know Dad, I don't know why I did it"
"You hurt her so badly that she left AC12 Steve, I can't imagine how hard that must have been for her, AC was her home. You were her partner"
"I know. Don't you think I know that! That I would take that day back if I could. I've never been so ashamed of myself in all my life." He paused "The one woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the one I wanted to grow old with. The only woman I've ever wanted any of that with and I threw it away for a quickie with a fucking suspect in a case"
"Have to say we're disappointed in you Steve. Thought you knew better"
"Two hundred and fifty days, eight hours and seventeen seconds before I started talking to you again. Not that I was counting" She stepped back into the room having been listening outside "Coffee?" She handed cups to Trish and Tom
"Wasn't sure if you'd want tea or coffee so I got both" He smiled gratefully at her
"Why are you so good to him Kate? He really doesn't deserve it"
"Kate? C'n I ask you something?"
"What?" She turned to look at him
"Will you marry me?"
"What happened to no clichéd crap?" She rolled her eyes "Yes. Yes I will marry you Steve"
"Can you get my jacket for me?" She watched as he rummaged in the pocket and pulled out a box "This is for you"
He watched her face as she opened it "Ah, don't read the note though" He tried to grab it from the box but she held it out of his reach
'Kate. I want you to have this, I know we're not speaking but this is where I saw our life going, until I destroyed it. I still want you to have this, throw it away or sell it, it's up to you but I needed to know that I at least tried to give it to you'
She looked at him as he spoke:
"I was supposed to leave it outside your door but I even chickened out of that"
"You ever look at another woman again and your parents will be organising a funeral" She said quietly into the darkness a few minutes later.